The Viktor Wilt Show

This episode begins exactly where all great civilizations collapse: with Jonah Hill threatening to become the final boss of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after earning approximately three minutes of white belt experience. One minute he's the lovable fat kid from Superbad, the next he's apparently issuing Mortal Kombat fatalities to the cast of Jason Bateman's podcast, forcing the show into a full-scale investigation of whether Hollywood confidence can legally outweigh physics. A real blue belt gets called live on the radio to publicly volunteer as tribute, casually explaining that yes, bones occasionally snap during tournaments, yes, Jonah Hill would absolutely get folded into an ergonomic camping chair, and yes, Maynard James Keenan apparently runs a jiu jitsu gym that sounds suspiciously like a Tool-themed monastery where expensive Puscifer rash guards roam the halls. Before anyone can recover from imagining Jonah Hill being launched into low Earth orbit by a blue belt from Idaho, the conversation somehow mutates into whether Peaches could simply throw Jonah across a highway because of height advantages and basic leverage.

As if that wasn't enough psychological damage, the podcast immediately dives headfirst into the annual tradition of pretending Baba Vanga possesses supernatural powers despite making predictions so unbelievably broad that even your uncle who posts Minion memes on Facebook could accidentally get them right. Earthquakes? Incredible. Hurricanes? Stunning foresight. Wars? Truly impossible to predict. The hosts lovingly dismantle every prophecy while simultaneously preparing themselves for alien contact in November because apparently that's penciled into humanity's calendar right between Thanksgiving shopping and seasonal depression. Mark Zuckerberg is accused of secretly being an extraterrestrial using Meta smart glasses to translate Earth languages into whatever horrifying "zeep zeep zeep" dialect reptilian executives communicate in, AI is blamed for reshaping civilization because apparently everyone woke up yesterday and just noticed ChatGPT exists, and Baba Vanga somehow graduates into becoming the least specific fortune teller to ever receive media coverage. By the end, she's somehow transformed into a blind woman that the hosts imagine being tricked with YouTube explosion sound effects while people narrate fake wars around her just to convince her she predicted them.

The madness continues as Viktor accidentally finds himself defending surveillance cameras after Facebook commenters conclude that simply talking about Flock cameras means he's personally installing government spy satellites inside everyone's microwave. Peaches escalates the conspiracy by insisting Viktor's true dream is installing security cameras inside bathrooms nationwide while simultaneously sending embarrassing videos of him to his wife like an international intelligence agency running psychological warfare. The discussion somehow circles back to Jonah Hill threatening people again, proving that every road in this episode eventually leads back to an angry actor with exactly one stripe on his imaginary martial arts belt.

Then comes perhaps the greatest business strategy ever conceived: weaponizing stupid people to win bar trivia. Rather than recruiting intelligent teammates, the hosts propose dispatching armies of confidently incorrect individuals to competing bars so they'll tank rival trivia scores while secretly assembling a dream team of bald radio personalities to dominate Idaho's trivia leaderboard. It becomes less of a game and more of a military operation involving strategic stupidity, beard percentages, and calculating exactly how much intelligence is required to answer geography questions without accidentally helping the enemy.

Finally, the podcast detonates its last remaining brain cells with a Reddit post from someone who accidentally discovers they're dating a distant cousin. What begins as relationship advice instantly devolves into an archaeological expedition through Edgar Allan Poe's horrifying marriage history, tuberculosis, medieval dating standards that absolutely should have stayed in history books, and the terrifying realization that people voluntarily upload their deepest emotional catastrophes to Reddit hoping strangers named "ToasterWizard69" will solve their lives. The hosts spiral into imagining parents publicly describing their disappointing children online, girlfriends discovering they're being dumped through Reddit comments, and anonymous throwaway accounts that somehow include enough identifying information to pinpoint someone's exact blood type and zip code. By the end of the episode, you've witnessed Jonah Hill become a martial arts warlord, Mark Zuckerberg become a shape-shifting alien diplomat, Baba Vanga become the patron saint of vague predictions, Idaho bar trivia evolve into psychological warfare, and Reddit once again prove that humanity should probably not have internet access. It is an absolutely glorious train wreck that accelerates through common sense without ever once touching the brakes.

What is The Viktor Wilt Show?

The Viktor Wilt Show daily recap! If you miss the show weekdays from 6A-10A MST, you've come to the right place.

Speaker 1: The noon hour of madness and mayhem podcast.

Speaker 2: What up, Peaches? What's happening? Oh man, it's Wednesday and we're halfway through.

Speaker 1: Oh we're halfway there.

Speaker 2: Living on the bear. Or I don't know. Okay. I know. I know. I'll go punch myself in the face. Please. So what's on your mind, Peaches?

Speaker 1: Why not? Why punch yourself in the face when you can have Jonah Hill do it for you? Did Jonah Hill punch somebody? Did you see uh his latest uh his latest remarks on this podcast with Jason Bateman?

No. So I guess he's tired of people calling him the fat the fat kid from Super Bad. Well, that's what he is. It will always be one of his biggest roles, you know? His literal biggest role.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's the one that made him famous. It's probably his most memorable role. I mean, he has been in a lot of other really good movies. Absolutely. You know, the Wolf of Wall Street. He was great in that.

Speaker 1: Was it Wardogs of Miles Teller? There's that movie. 21, 22 Jump Street.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think he is uh a very funny guy, and I think he's a good actor. Moneyball. But he's not ever gonna be able to uh get rid of uh the super bad fame. That's what made him a superstar.

Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Well, apparently he's taking up Jiu Jitsu, and he's a white belt. And he was telling Jason Bateman and the other two hosts on the podcast, I'm forgetting their names, but he was like, I will mess you all up. I will destroy you all. He's like, they always call me the fat kid from super bad. I will beat beat the crap out of you.

Yeah. And so all these like actual guys who do like jujitsu, they're they're quite humble. I mean, the thing is is that a lot of these fighters, they don't want to fight all the time because they know what it's like to get punched in the face and get hurt and have to hurt somebody else. It's not fun.

Speaker 2: All right, he's probably at work, but let me look up his number here. My daughter's fiance, Matt. He is uh in jujitsu. Yeah. Um he he enters tournaments.

Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I've seen the videos pop up on uh Terran's Instagram.

Speaker 2: You know, he breaks people's arms and legs all the time.

Speaker 1: Does he really?

Speaker 2: Yeah, like hopefully he doesn't ever get mad at me. It'd Be embarrassing. No, if anything, he'll protect you. That's what I need. I'm gonna be an old man. And so I need my daughter's jujitsu master fiance to protect me from bullies. Let's see if um we can uh

Speaker 1: unless he gets uh CTE, then we're screwed.

Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna ask him if he'd fight Jonah Hill in a jujitsu match. Hey, Turn the music down so people can hear him. Hopefully he doesn't swear. Why is my father-in-law calling me? Oh how are you? Hey, what's up, Matt? Um, just a heads up, you're um on the radio. So watch watch your language. Um you're hanging out with me in Peaches.

Hello. Um, so we're reading this article about Jonah Hill, who has gotten into jujitsu, and he's saying he could beat the crap out of anybody. Would you take on Jonah Hill in a jujitsu match? He's a white belt. Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 100%.

Speaker 2: You're not afraid of him. No. What belt are you again, Matt? I'm blue. Blue belt. And uh so what what comes after blue? How close are you to being at the top of the heap?

Speaker 3: Um, I'm probably I what? So purple, brown, and then black. Purple. And it typically takes what, eight to eight to sixteen years?

Speaker 2: Eight to sixteen.

Speaker 1: I was gonna say it takes a very long time for you to rank up in jujitsu for sure.

Speaker 2: Holy cow. Um, have you broken anybody's bones recently?

Speaker 3: Um yeah, last time I was in Idaho Falls, I um it was an accident, but I I didn't hurt somebody.

Speaker 2: I think I think you told me about that when we went out to lunch. Yeah, I felt pretty bad. All right, well, try not to break any more bones. Um, you know, you're yourself included. And it's good to know I got somebody to to protect not only my daughter, but me. So thank you, Matt.

Speaker 3: Absolutely. Have a good one.

Speaker 2: You too. Sorry if I interrupted you on your work day.

Speaker 3: You're good.

Speaker 2: You're good. All right, I'll try to line up the uh Lieutenant Crane has a cage, so I just gotta get a hold of Jonah Hill and we'll we'll we'll line this thing up at the mountain.

Speaker 3: That's gonna be the hardest. That's gonna be the hardest part of the equation, right?

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I I don't know how to get a hold of him, but I'll I'll work on figuring it out, okay? Absolutely.

Speaker 3: And you need to get you need to get down and train in Maynard's studio so you can tell me what it's like. I have.

Speaker 3: I have. Uh I'm good friends with his coach.

Speaker 2: Yeah, you I I know you said you had rolled with Maynard's coach, but I didn't know you actually uh made it out to Cottonwood and went to their their uh

Speaker 3: Yeah, my my coach and I went to a seminar um with Clay. Nice.

Speaker 2: Well, very cool. Did you get to meet Maynard? I did not.

Speaker 3: There's pictures of him all over the studio, though. It's um it's kind of culty.

Speaker 2: Kind of culty. Well, I've I could imagine. Sink or swim. He probably never goes there, knowing like uh half these people are tool fans.

Speaker 3: 100%. Yeah, there's like Christopher Rashguards and all kinds of all kinds of good stuff.

Speaker 2: A rash guard peaches is like it's kind of like a shirt, right, Matt? Yeah, it's like a compression shirt. Compression shirt.

Speaker 1: That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying, I'm thinking of how expensive those probably are. Puccifer Brandon? Yeah, I was going to say, Noe and Maynard.

Speaker 2: The most expensive rash cards on the market. All right, Matt, I'll let you go, dude. All right, have a good one. You two man, see ya. Bye. I think I think I could beat up Jonah Hill. You want to fight Jonah Hill?

Speaker 1: He'd be so easy. He's like five's six. I don't care if he tries rolling me. The thing is, is that it's all about uh what's it called? Not letting him get close to you.

Speaker 2: That's true. And you're telling you got reach.

Speaker 1: And if he tries lifting me up, I can just full on pick him up and throw them across the road.

Speaker 2: Or just you know, topple over on top of them. Smash them now. You won't you want to roll, bro?

Speaker 1: I'm sure he weighed the same amount as me in Super Bad.

Speaker 2: This is the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I need some like scary music for this one.

Speaker 1: You have Halloween, you have uh X-Files in there.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. What would be good for predictions about the future? Just back to the future. Back to the future, sure. Okay. So there is a blind mystic named Baba Vanga. Not Baba Yaga, Baba Vanga. Okay, and I guess she has unleashed her uh predictions.

Speaker 1: Oh, we talked about this uh last time, too. Last year. Not last year, yeah. Oh, I don't remember. But she does good for her.

Speaker 2: I uh but I'd imagine, you know, if you're uh a mystic, you've probably got a pretty good brain and memory. You gotta have a high-powered brain if you're tapping into all the secrets of the cosmos, right? Okay, I guess well, Baba Vanga has unleashed her 2026 predictions, and we got a lot of excitement on the way this year, Peaches. I mean, the year's almost done, but there's still a lot to come.

Speaker 1: I can't believe 2026 is almost done.

Speaker 2: I don't know, it's pretty wild. And we've yet to deal with humanity's initial encounter with alien life forms. So we're gonna have extraterrestrial contact taking place in November.

Speaker 1: Maybe oh, I was gonna say, maybe we've already talked to them. I mean, Mark Mark Zuckerberg does not operate like a human.

Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure he's a shapeshifting reptilian alien.

Speaker 1: His interview with Theo Vaughn is quite disturbing. When was he on there? Uh quite a while ago, but he's wearing the glasses the entire time. People are accusing him of wearing those meta glasses so we can translate the English to his language.

Speaker 2: So he doesn't come out all z not zip not zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, zeep, alien talk. Yeah. zeep, Uh we're also going to be dealing with um natural disasters. That's a big prediction. We do all the time. zeep, I know.

Speaker 1: Tomorrow there's gonna be wind.

Speaker 2: Yeah, she was not specific, but she did say that uh we're gonna be dealing with things like hurricanes, um earthquakes, and volcanic activity with extreme climate consequences. Yeah.

Speaker 1: Who gave this blind lady a platform? Well, who's interviewing this woman, and she calls herself Baba Venga? Baba Vanga. Um and she goes, Yeah, we're gonna have this, this, this, and that. All right, lady, take your meds.

Speaker 2: Let's see. She gained credibility initially for her supposed uh prediction of foreseeing uh Princess Diana's tragic death. She didn't see anything. Okay, she is blind, but that doesn't mean you can't see inside your mind, Peaches.

Speaker 1: Someone had to tell her, hey, you are correct.

Speaker 2: She's the nice tradition of the Balkans.

Speaker 1: That's the thing. People can just tell her she's okay, she's okay, she's correct. She won't ever know.

Speaker 2: That's true. Um, I don't think that you know, environmental disasters happening in a year is a good prediction. That's a prediction I could make, Peaches. Hey, this time of year, there are going to be fires in the West and in Canada. I I know, dude.

Speaker 1: Put that crystal ball away right now.

Speaker 2: You know, it would be funny, is I think last year I was making fun of the uh, or no, what is funny? I was making fun of the farmer's almanac, you know, because people always go to that as like the go-to for figuring out the next year of weather.

Speaker 1: It's almost as credible as Punksatani Phil.

Speaker 2: Yes. And they're like, oh, it's winter. There's gonna be snow and it's gonna be cold and things like that. They were totally wrong last year. Oh, yeah. Because we had like the warmest winter and tamest winter of all time. Shout out data centers. Oh, is that why? They're eating things up. More data centers in East Idaho. And flock cameras. I got accused of uh supporting flock cameras on Facebook.

Speaker 1: But that's why I sarcastically said that.

Speaker 2: Listen, Andy, I was encouraging people to watch a video about flock cameras. That didn't mean I was jumping up and down going, I'm Victor Will. No, no, surveillance.

Speaker 1: Well, you wouldn't believe it. Victor actually has this plan that he wants to have all these cameras installed in bathrooms across the country.

Speaker 2: Well, I do have cameras all over my house. So clearly, a fan of a surveillance. Always gotta keep an eye on my dangerous neighborhood.

Speaker 1: Well, especially uh your wife, too. Who knows what shenanigans she could be planning?

Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Always picking on me, always, you know, finding ways to harass me. Yeah.

Speaker 1: I did just send her the video that I recorded yesterday of you getting all mad. Don't record me without my consent, Peaches.

Speaker 2: Oh, you sent it to her? Yeah, yeah. She didn't mention it. I just said to her just now.

Speaker 1: Oh, just now just before we started doing this uh show here.

Speaker 2: Oh, okay. Because I I was trying to tell her I have yelled at you for filming me without my consent.

Speaker 1: Because she was doing it. So this is so funny. It kind of reminds me of Jonah Hill.

Speaker 3: He's like, I will destroy you. All right, Peaches.

Speaker 2: Do you want to hear some more of Baba Vanga's predictions for the year? No, why? So far, she's been you know, like uh dead on with these environmental disasters. Oh, okay. Wait, we haven't had extraterrestrial contact yet. That's happening in November. So we we gotta wait for it.

Speaker 1: I can't wait, dude. GTA 6 and extraterrestrials. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Uh, she also says that there are going to be international military confrontations. Cool. I would never guess that in any random year there would be countries fighting with each other around the world. That that's I mean, you have to have access to the secrets of the universe. I just imagine to be able to figure that out. Whoever's handling this woman, you gotta play explosion sounds on YouTube.

Speaker 1: Be like, there's there, they're they're shooting rockets at each other. What is it? Because the lady's blind, she can't see anything. Oh, what is going on? And like they're they're putting on a whole show for her.

Speaker 2: Uh uh, let's see. Readings of her visions indicate she anticipated AI starting to reshape human civilization this year. Yeah, you couldn't have seen that coming last year, could you? No. No, never.

Okay. Uh, she did say that a um Russian leader, there will be a new one, and that I guess uh Putin's authoritarian regime will crumble. So uh Putin's gonna be uh gone in 2021. Does she live in Russia? Where does she live?

She lives in the Balkans. Where's that? That's uh not geography trivia time.

The Balkans. By the way, do you do you like doing trivia peaches? Yeah. A lot of the bars around town have started doing trivia. I don't know if you've uh well, you don't go to the bar really. No. But we should go out.

Yeah. Um, I like trivia, and sometimes I'm good at it. And I guess on Wednesday nights, I don't remember what time, but uh all the bars that have trivia in town compete against one another. So I had this plan to encourage stupid people to go to every bar except Becca's bar, so that you know, like if you're smart and good at trivia

Speaker 1: because usually stupid people go every other day of the week besides Wednesday.

Speaker 2: So if you're like really dumb and you like trivia, or you just want to stick it to like a bar in town that you don't like, you know, see if they do, I think it's AMI trivia, and then go there and do a terrible job to drive their numbers down so that like alibi can go to the top. If you're smart, go do the trivia there. You know, today's Wednesday, isn't it? Trivia night. So yeah, what you do is you go bring the numbers down at all the other bars, like muddies.

Muddies. What a great name for a bar, huh? I I wonder, I wish there was a list of all the bars that did it, but I just I want all the dumb people, and it's hey, I'm dumb. Are you going tonight? Yeah, I gotta figure out which bar uh I hate the most so I can bring my stupid to it.

Speaker 1: See, I thought you were gonna go to the alibi and try your best.

Speaker 2: Uh, but we're I'm trying to help them win. Yeah. So you're not dumb. Sometimes. I would say bring Jade too. You know, if we got uh He's not stupid. He's quite smart.

Yeah, if we could get uh a good trivia team of like you and me and Jade and Josh out, I think we could do pretty good. Three balds and a hair, Three balds and uh and uh I guess he has hair.

Speaker 1: Three three balds and I would say Jade's like 98% hair with that. There's there's hardly any skin, hardly any bone, but there's a whole lot of beard.

Speaker 2: I don't know what we were talking about before this. I just got to see.

Speaker 1: What's on this stupid Baba Venga lady?

Speaker 2: Oh, she's probably good really good at trivia.

Speaker 1: How old is this woman? She can't even see the buzzer. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2: Somebody could read her the questions and the answers. I don't know. She looks really old. She looks like really old. It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. Was just uh recalling a subreddit you showed me yesterday, Peaches, and I thought it might be an easy go to. That's the dating underscore advice. I thought you meant fit to fat. That's what I look at in my spare time. Okay. We could put Jonah Hill in there. No, but he was the opposite, right? Fat to fit.

Speaker 1: You can just reverse the pictures.

Speaker 2: He's fluctuating like me, you know.

Speaker 2: The very first post that pops up, and I haven't read through it. For dating advice? For yeah, dating underscore advice. I'm dating my cousin unintentionally.

Speaker 1: Sweet home Alabama.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Where are you from? Absolute irony one, two, three. What area of the South? Okay. So I guess uh this woman, you know, she says he's the first guy I found to treat me right. Then I talked to my dad, and he took note that they had the same middle name, and he suddenly got angry and got worried we might be relatives. Then come to find out my dad confirmed with his aunt.

Uh whoops, I had to open it in a different window. That she knows the grandfather of the guy I'm dating. Basically, my dad's aunt is cousins with my boyfriend's grandmother.

So third degree cousins. You lost me. I lost myself.

Trying to read through that. So I thought initially this was a post about a first cousin. I was gonna say, okay, you find out you're dating your cousin, dump them. Right.

Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you do in that situation? Do you pretend it never happens?

Speaker 2: Okay, imagine you've been dating someone for like a long time. That would have to be so horrible. Like you'd been together. You know, together.

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 2: And No, I know what you meant.

Speaker 1: A year or two. What if you start a family? Oh.

Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you do? Do you just go, well, we've been at it this long? I don't know what you did.

Speaker 1: Didn't Edgar Allan Poe marry his cousin?

Speaker 2: I well, okay, but Peaches, that was hundreds of years.

Speaker 1: Things were different back then. All right. He was 30, she was 13. It was okay.

Speaker 2: Like things were very different, not good back then. Um, but yeah, I don't know what you'd do in that situation. Because it would have to change the way you think about things. Yeah. Even if you you know tried to go, you know, we I didn't know before.

Speaker 1: Edgar Allen's Edgar Allan Poe's only wife was Virginia Eliza Clem Poe, his first cousin. She was born on August 15th, 1822, died on January 30th, 1847. She didn't live very long. She married they got married when he was 27. She was 13.

Speaker 2: Jeez gross, Edgar Allan Poe.

Speaker 1: Man, she died at 24 from tuberculosis. Arthur Blacklung.

Speaker 2: Tuberculosis. I thought it was only Arthur Morgan. But anyway, um that's the first post that popped up. What? Sometimes I just wonder if people make these kind of posts just for fun on uh Reddit.

Yeah. Because you would think if you were dating your cousin unintentionally, you'd be sitting at home going, what do I do? You wouldn't go to Reddit for advice. I don't think figure it out.

Speaker 1: There are two places. Well, actually, you know what? I I have asked a radio show in the past for advice. Um, I was gonna say I would never go to a radio show for advice, and I would also never go to Reddit and post my situation.

There was something I was talking about uh yesterday. It was like, what do you do with your adult kid that's an absolute failure or something like that? And all the comments were like, my oldest son, he's practically homeless. He he went to jail. He he uh all this, all these different people were like, Yeah, my son stabbed somebody and uh now he's in prison, and when he gets out, I don't know what I plan on doing with him. And all my other kids turned out just fine. And it's like all these people telling their big their stories on Reddit.

Speaker 2: Dude, people get very personal online.

Speaker 1: So if my parents were like, oh, my son's a loser. He moved to Idaho to do radio.

Speaker 2: Like I'd he's selling all his devastated. He's selling all of his possessions. He's uh, you know, he's always fat. Yeah, because I mean people do manage to figure out who sometimes I read these posts where they're like, this is a throwaway account because I don't want to fake anyone to figure out who it is, and they get very specific.

Speaker 1: It's funny, I see the Reddit name Mama Peach.

Speaker 2: Like my boyfriend uses Reddit all the time, so I'm using a throwaway account. Here's where I live and what I look like and my age and blah blah blah. And a lot of very, very specific descriptions about my life. I he won't figure out this post is about him. Should I dump him?

Speaker 1: Imagine you find out your girlfriend wants to dump you via Reddit post.

Speaker 2: Oh, that'd be pretty rough, wouldn't it be? Hey guys, I need advice. What should I do? And then in the comments, you're in there. You know what? You're right. I am gonna dump her. Thank you so much for helping me out on this post. And then go, why are you mad at me? What's the problem? You seem a little bit off today.

Speaker 4: The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of River Bend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit Riverband Media Group.com.