Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
THE podcast for navigating all things midlife with honesty, humor, and heart
Heidi (00:13)
welcome to the Evolving Together podcast. we're gonna continue the conversation with Lianne regarding
the time in midlife where we reevaluate basically everything our careers, our relationships, and that includes romantic relationships, but also friendships And how our friend group changes over time or, you know, a relationship
doesn't fit us anymore. Hi Lianne.
Lianne Allard (00:35)
Hello.
Heidi (00:37)
So, we were talking last about the transition of grey hair, whether to do it, not to do it, how to do it, you know, you can do it on your own or you can go to get some help, which had I known I could have done it with help, I would I would have I would have seen a stylist, but back then there wasn't even a discussion about it. It's been I've been gray for at least ten years, I think. I don't know. I can't keep track of dates. I have no idea. I'm fifty seven. I I don't
Lianne Allard (00:59)
Yeah, you lose strapp a ton.
Heidi (01:03)
I think it was before I was fifty. I have no idea. But we were talking about, how we transition we enter into midlife, we have our friends or we might be married, we might be in a long term relationship and all of a sudden it's like this doesn't feel right anymore. And you had mentioned something about like your support system, if you have people around you that don't support you.
and love you for who you are and accept you for who you are, it might be time to kind of move along from from that. And I I know for sure that's been my situation since probably my f mid to late forties is when I was just like, huh, I don't think I don't think I don't think I like you in my life anymore. And it's it wasn't even necessarily anything
Lianne Allard (01:40)
Yeah.
Heidi (01:46)
You know, they weren't horrible people or anything like that. It was just kind of like you're not you're not bringing anything positive, you're not adding anything to my life. You might even be draining my energy. And we're it's just not a symbiotic relationship. And
Lianne Allard (02:01)
Yeah. So I
always just say that just for me, because I do have like a a type A type of ⁓ personality and sometimes I can't and now I'm forty five and believe it or not, I was a total asshole when I was like, you know, nineteen, twenty, twenty one, twenty two. Like I I'm brash now, but I'm I'm I have a way softer landing now than I used to. Because I
Heidi (02:26)
I can only imagine.
Lianne Allard (02:28)
and I can still like if I have too much to drink or whatever, I can still say things and I'd honest to God, I don't necessarily mean it sometimes, but at this age I am definitely not afraid to apologize. And genuinely mean it. If I care enough about you to genuinely apologize, But sometimes it's just it's nothing personal, but I
think that's it like you said, it's not that they're not a good person. It's not that it's just at some point that relationship is not serving you or your life. and you can lose me too. Like it's if if I'm no longer bringing anything fruitful into your life. And it doesn't have to be this huge, big ordeal. It doesn't have to be like this production. Like sometimes things just fade out, you know? And then you just find yourself like, Wow, I never would have thought
that this would have this would be where I am now without these people. And you can still hold the fondest of memories with those people who just aren't there anymore and love them from afar. It just wasn't working anymore. Like I yeah. Yeah, so it I I'm not gonna take it personally if I'm not for you anymore, I'm not helping you or you've learned all you can learn, like
Heidi (03:37)
It's it's an outgrow like you outgrow each other sometimes and a lot of times it's
Lianne Allard (03:49)
from me or I've helped all I can help or whatever. ⁓ I did have to make a transition in my life where because am a fixer and I'm a doer and I'm a connector.
Heidi (03:58)
hey, I have a huge favor to ask you. Okay, two, two favors. First, could you stop and go to wherever you're listening and give the Evolving Together podcast a five star review? That would mean so much. It helps the podcast move up in visibility
The other request that I have, please, please, please, is
could you share this podcast with at least one person that you think needs to hear this information? Thank you so much.
Lianne Allard (04:25)
I prayed like a couple years ago. actually it was I think going to 2025. And yeah, 'cause this is 2026. But I of prayed hey, if it's not for me,
Take it away from me. Even if it's hard, even if it's Rigo even if it's like, you know, t thankfully he's, you know, w he's still here. But I was like, I was okay, if this is not where I'm supposed to be, like help me figure it out. And there are there's a few people where I was okay, like didn't really see that coming, but it that's just the way it happened. And then this year, it's it's just
Heidi (04:37)
Mm-hmm.
ha.
Yeah.
Lianne Allard (05:02)
Just trying to find kind of what brings me peace. And then I also want to be taught. I don't always want to be the teacher. I have so much to learn That's kind of what I've been praying is like place me around people who can teach me and show me things. And even if it's just show me things about myself, even if it's uncomfortable, because sometimes, you know, you get confirmation like, hey, I'm supposed to be here.
Heidi (05:19)
Mm.
Lianne Allard (05:28)
For real, for real. Like I know I'm supposed to be here, but this is not feel real good and not exactly right.
Heidi (05:35)
Well, yeah, because
because growth does not feel good. I mean ⁓ it's like I it never feels good. If it if it feels good you're not growing, you're just enjoying life. You're just having fun. And and that's that's just
Lianne Allard (05:39)
No.
And I
feel uncomfortable less as I get older, thank God. But there's still conversations and stuff that need to be had and they're still growing to do. And yeah.
Heidi (05:54)
Yeah.
I
love that you said that you're you're ⁓ more willing now to say sorry. And I think that as we get older, I I definitely I am for sure. If I d if I've done something wrong, I I will say sorry, as much as it's uncomfortable or painful to do that. I try to do it and I try to do it as soon as possible. ⁓ I also think that I'm much more likely to speak my mind.
Lianne Allard (06:25)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (06:27)
And that's not always something that people want to hear. I'm also keep a lot more to myself. So it's like it's an interesting mix because I guess when I do speak, it's from the heart. And it is in it's very intentional and it's very honest. And that comes from I would say perimenopause menopause, midlife, because I reached a point, I guess, I like my mid late forties.
Lianne Allard (06:36)
Mm-hmm.
Intentional.
Heidi (06:56)
My father-in-law used to say, he's so funny. He used to say, Darling, I'm just too I'm too old to give a damn what anyone thinks about me, or something like that, or to give a damn what anyone thinks. And I thought, ⁓ I want to get to that point. I wanna be where I don't give a damn about what someone thinks of me, or I can say whatever I want. And ⁓ it happened, and then it was just kind of like, ⁓ I actually don't care what people think of me like I used to. So
I used to give my opinion about everything all the time. Nobody asked. And now and nobody k
Lianne Allard (07:31)
And honestly, nobody cares. Like,
I have learned that I still say things where I'm like, that doesn't really freaking matter. the older you get, the more you realize that like you feel a cer certain way, but unless you know that person's gonna receive it, it's not your place to teach people because if they don't get there on their own, then they're not gonna get it anyway.
Heidi (07:49)
Exactly.
Lianne Allard (07:55)
Now I do wish people would be more direct, especially with me too. And I have tried to do a lot more work on being more approachable and trying to be more humble. I have to apologize to my kids. every week being a single mom was so rough in the beginning. And I think Delaney actually got the worst of it because she was older.
So I relied on her more than she should have been relied on, but I also was like in survival mode. And so now we're trying to navigate an adult relationship. And I still sometimes talk down to her and she doesn't deserve that. I'm not parenting her necessarily anymore. I'm her mom, but I need to transition into being her friend
She doesn't need anyone to be hard on her. she doesn't need that, anymore. ⁓ because she's gonna figure this the rest out on her own. And she's hard enough on herself. And so I've had to apologize ⁓ so many times and I and I do, like I am I have an aggressive mouth and I cuss at my kids and let's be real, you know what I mean? ⁓ I do, like I
Heidi (08:47)
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah.
mouth. I I like that. I don't think I'd heard that I like that
term.
Lianne Allard (09:09)
Sometimes
I've just always been kind of that way and so I don't know, not it's not right. We all are just doing the best that we can, you know, sometimes you wanna kill sometimes you love But yeah, I do wish people would be more direct, but you also then have to be more approachable. And I'm not I have not always been the most approachable person. So
Heidi (09:18)
for sure.
Aggressive mouth. That's funny. That was me.
Lianne Allard (09:32)
when someone does take the time. I always thank them for taking the time to tell me that this bothered you. Also, please give me another chance to get it right if I value that relationship. and sometimes things just aren't salvageable. Sometimes people just want to live in their discomfort and not grow. They want to live in their victim mentality. They want to live being where they are and you don't
Support that because I'm never gonna support the people around me that I truly love being in a terrible situation or not confronting their fears. And I want people to help me do those same things. Like if I'm doing something that is not right for me or seems not right for me, and somebody else views that, I hope that they can tell me that. But the reason it is sometimes not gonna work out in friendships is because people kind of like to waller in their own.
shit sometimes and they don't want out of that situation and so then they eliminate you when it's not you you necessarily might not be the problem. It's just that you saw something they didn't want you to see. So it's just easier to get rid of you than to keep you to keep you around.
Heidi (10:45)
Yeah, because yeah.
It especially if you're someone that has who is direct and doesn't just enable certain situations. I'm I'm the same way. I you know, I will help and offer to help if I'm asked now. That's that's something that you know, when I was younger I had an aggressive mouth. I still do at times, I'm sure. so that has kind of
Lianne Allard (11:00)
Yes.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Heidi (11:09)
So when I do share something, it's intentional. And it's usually because someone asked. when I used to health coach I would offer all sorts of information that people n didn't necessarily want. And and that's when I realized, ⁓ they didn't ask me for that. So maybe I should just shut up. So that kind of came before, well, I guess it was still I was the beginning of midlife when I realized I'm like, okay, if they're not asking.
you don't need to tell them that, you know, if you drink soda, your kidneys are gonna need like two gallons of water to clean ⁓ out. You know, like n people don't necessarily want to know that when they're enjoying their Coke. They just so, ⁓ they're not asking me for advice. And so that was one thing I was like, okay, nobody cares unless they ask. then there is that part of me that just says, Well, I I don't need to say anything 'cause it's it's
Lianne Allard (11:46)
Yeah.
Heidi (12:05)
It's my right to be to be silent. You know, it's it I'm not gonna change the world.
Lianne Allard (12:07)
Yes. I will have to say though,
when you said something earlier about like, I wanna get to the age where I don't give a shit, not whatever like I feel like I care more now what other people think about me than I di but in a different way than I did before, but only if I value
Heidi (12:23)
Really?
Lianne Allard (12:28)
our relationship and friendship. And I also do feel
the truth serum and you're like, well, people don't really care that they're gonna need two gallons of water, whether you know whether whatever, enjoying their coke. I do feel like there is also a way to deliver criticism without being ugly. If you have someone in your life
That seemingly picks at you a lot or bullies you or whatever, don't dismiss that as their personality. It is not a personality to be mean. Like, you can, yeah, you can be meaningful without being mean. Like you can say what you mean without being mean. And so I see a lot of people who are like hang around.
Heidi (13:06)
Mm. ⁓ I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah.
Hundred percent.
Lianne Allard (13:21)
type people who are will say, well that's just her personality. She's just direct. No, she's just kind of a bitch. I don't want to be that bitch. So it's like I want to have valuable dialogue with my friends, especially if I feel like it's something I can contribute. But I feel like some people just wanna pick you apart and
point things out about you in your life because they're not happy with themselves.
Heidi (13:51)
That's exactly
it. I don't really have a lot of relationships that fell by the wayside as I went into midlife. It's just where I spend my time. I only have so much time and if if if I wanna be intentional in my relationships and and and be present
Lianne Allard (14:00)
So much time.
Heidi (14:06)
you know, my kids and my husband, my mom, like my family they're gonna come first. And I don't try to cram everything and everybody in like I used to. It's just the way it is I I don't have any friends in my life that are ⁓ mean, bitchy. Nope. I don't have and I don't I don't really remember when I stopped having them 'cause I definitely had at some point. I don't know. But
Lianne Allard (14:21)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Heidi (14:30)
⁓ yeah, it there's just the space for that it it disappears. You really start to to thin out and it's also prioritizing where you spend your time. You know, you it's like you have so much time in your day, where do you want to put that effort? and I think having that support system around you of people that
truly care about you no matter what, no matter what you look like, no matter what your day is going, no matter how much money you make or what what kind of status you have and having those people that will show up just because they care about you, that to me has become the most important thing, which is it's priceless,
Lianne Allard (15:13)
I struggled for a long time with a very close relationship of mine I struggled for a long time. And I then one day just decided that they are always gonna be what they are and I'm always gonna be what I am and we're never
probably even going to be remotely agreed upon about certain things. But like I love them and I need to learn how to accept them for what they are and then understand that they do have value in my life, but I don't have to change them to be happy.
Like it does hurt me that they continue to make certain life choices because I feel like it hurts them. But ultimately I'm now old enough to realize that they're the ones that have to live with the consequences. And as long as it doesn't negatively affect me and they are good to me and I love them, then you can still allow space for that. I used to be very like black or white, cut or dry, you know.
Heidi (16:24)
Same.
Lianne Allard (16:24)
just
and now I'm like, I just live in all the gray. Because that's all there is is gray. Like honestly, like and just you just have to navigate it.
Heidi (16:28)
Yeah, well I think right, right. Well, you start to realize
that that that's their journey. And your your role and their journey, yeah, their journey a hundred percent. And your role in their journey may just be to see it from a distance.
Lianne Allard (16:39)
Mm-hmm. Theirs
Cushion. Mm-hmm.
Heidi (16:52)
and not necessarily be a support and hold like you said, hold space for them. I mean, because if people wanna change, we have all the resources in the world now for someone to say, you know, I need help or I need this or that. But again it goes back to if someone's not asking for help, you know, and and it and they are
comfortable in their uncomfortableness or whatever it is, it's just it's i i it it there is a sort of freedom where you're just kind of like, Okay, well we're it's your journey and it's it's hard to watch but
Lianne Allard (17:21)
And I'm not
perfect and I have things that I need to change about myself. I'm try I'm busy over here like praying and meditating and thinking on like how who have I offended, what do I need to change about me? Like what do I need to do to grow? I've let a lot like, honey, if you're needy, pfft I I d I don't have enough time for me and the people I love. Like, I I just don't have room for that anymore. So if you're a whole mess
I'm just probably gonna leave you a whole mess over there because I just don't wanna be a part of it. I had a friend who I don't really speak with anymore who used to ask me for like advice and help and whatever continuously and then they never changed and I was like, you know, like I'm not gonna keep pouring all these things into you and giving you all these resources and telling you where to go to get help with this and where that, and then you do none of it.
And then you keep coming to me and complaining about these circumstances. Like I swear, one of my favorite sayings is wherever you go, there you are.
Heidi (18:20)
No, I know. I I yeah. It you you take yourself with you.
Lianne Allard (18:25)
Mm-hmm. And then you're probably gonna have them same problems, you know, wherever you go.
Heidi (18:30)
Yeah. Well, I think I I look back and I think, you know, there's probably relationships that I c maybe could have handled differently. I don't know. I I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I always give people way too many chances unless they lie to me. And then that's it. Lie like I that's that was always an easy one for me if I couldn't trust somebody. I didn't there wasn't there weren't really no other chances. But I think that I would often pour myself into people
Lianne Allard (18:45)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (18:59)
not equally. Like the the the balance was off. ⁓ you know, they would constantly come for advice or, you know, whatever, and they would never take it. And they would always want to have the same conversations. And I think around midlife is when I finally said, not doing that anymore. You know, it's like and and a lot of times it revolved around health health issues and things like that. And I thought
If this person really wants to make a difference in their health or whatever, they're going to take some some steps because it's not like I haven't given them a lot of resources and tools and stuff. So it gets to a point where you're like, wait, why am I continuously pouring
Lianne Allard (19:30)
Yeah.
Heidi (19:45)
time and energy into this person when they really just want like an easy button or they just really they don't really want to take the steps to get out of the bad relationship or have more energy or whatever it is. Whatever it is that they they keep, you know, having the conversation about, y it's like I think when you hit midlife you're just like, I'm not comfortable banging my head on the same wall that you're that you're hitting your head on anymore you know.
Lianne Allard (20:10)
Mhm. It's true.
And you just realize it's just not your fight to fight anymore. Like where you had more energy when you're young. You're like, well, if they come to me and they ask me and then two, it's hard to watch somebody like circle a drain, you know, for so long. ⁓ and then
Heidi (20:26)
Yeah. Because our perspective
is so different than their I mean if it's some if it's a friend or an acquaintance that keeps doing the same thing over and over, you're like, Okay, I'm ready to move on from that and you're clearly not there and nothing I do or say is going to help. And it's it's hard, I know. I've been been in that situation and I I I even see it with my kids sometimes. I'm like, why do they keep doing that? You know? It's like
Lianne Allard (20:35)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. It's easier to see it
in somebody else too. I do feel like I welcome anyone that has critiques or whatever of ev of my life. if I handle something wrong or if I've offended you, like please don't wait. Please don't let it fester. Please don't ghost. If you value my relationship. If you don't then
I it doesn't matter anyway, but like if you do and there's something that can be said, I'm always open to have a conversation about it. But what I won't do is continue to apologize and you continue to be mad about something that clearly I'm like I have genuinely said that I'm sorry and I don't and I don't say that I'm sorry if I don't give a shit about you. But if I say that I'm sorry, like I'm genuinely sorry or I wouldn't waste
the conversation. But I actually had someone tell me ⁓ basically that they didn't feel that my apology was genuine and then once I realized that pattern kept coming up, like I was correcting behavior and willing to work on things, but they were still holding my feet to the fire only and not
giving anything or willing to like compromise anything. I was like, yeah, I'm good. Like, that's just more about you than it is about me. but I'm only gonna be sorry for a little bit. if you that's the hill you want to die on and you're not willing to like progress, then I I'm not gonna chase you. Like I'm not gonna hunt you down.
Heidi (22:15)
That's right.
Do think that's changed? Like
you said as you've gotten older, like you your willingness to say I'm sorry i is more, but like do you think I was not open when I was younger to to criticism. Well, I grew up in a really critical household. So it's like if I heard criticism from anybody, I I shut down. So that was pr I probably had like the that, you know, that trigger response,
Lianne Allard (22:28)
Mm-hmm.
Me either.
Heidi (22:49)
I would do anything to not get in trouble or criticized. And so I was not open to someone saying, you should try maybe do it this way, whether I asked for it or not. I mean, I I needed lots of guidance and and s when I was growing up as we all do, but I was not open to it. And then
I don't think I really apologize as much as I should have and so I just it's just I was just wondering if you feel like you were not if you were open to that kind of feedback. It's like, hey, you know, this you you hurt my feelings here and that recognition of like, I c I guess I could have done it differently. I wasn't I wasn't open to any of that when I was younger.
Lianne Allard (23:30)
I never used to be, I definitely am now, but let's like let's make it perfectly clear, being criticized no matter what age you're at or what the topic is, it never really feels good. And to know that you've done something wrong, that doesn't feel good. But the difference is sitting with it and being humble enough to be like, yeah, I really screwed that up, or even if it was just text tone, email tone.
Heidi (23:40)
True.
Lianne Allard (23:56)
Snapchat tone, those are lost. So like some people get very easily offended about certain things and I'm like, I didn't mean that at all. I don't think that about you, or I didn't mean that at all, you took it, you know, like but it still doesn't change that it hurt their feelings. So being willing to accept and apologize for maybe coming across in a way that you didn't intend, but it still hurt their feelings. So you still need to be accountable.
Heidi (24:10)
Right.
Lianne Allard (24:22)
And then know that you just
Heidi (24:22)
To a degree though,
because I mean it's also in their perspective of how they, you know, read it.
Lianne Allard (24:27)
But also
to make sure that if you're being a good friend and a good person that you just try to alter that a little bit. Like maybe no, I can't joke around with that person like that. You know, you don't have to walk on eggshells and then you know, and then that comes to reasons why certain people just fall apart because it's just because they just aren't at the same points in life. There's no j like when I divorced ten I've been divorced
Heidi (24:37)
Mm, yeah. Yeah, that's that's true. Yeah.
Lianne Allard (24:53)
I guess ten years ago or more. Like I think it like final in like 2016, maybe. But I kind of went through my divorce with this core group of friends and I barely speak to any of them. And when I tell you that we were meant to do that time of our life together, like meant to. We have such good memories, such good lessons, so many good books that we read together.
Heidi (25:11)
Yeah.
Lianne Allard (25:20)
so many moments that we share with each other. And I don't think that it's necessarily a bad thing that we just don't talk to one another. I think it kind of like just shows growth. We just kind of all went and healed in different ways. And then life just took us different on different journeys. We all needed each other and then now we don't really need each other like that anymore. So it's not
Heidi (25:41)
It's trauma
bonding. Yeah.
Lianne Allard (25:42)
Yeah, and it doesn't have
to be bad. It's just that like, okay, we don't need that from each other anymore. But we can still like get together and like talk about like, my God, we had so much fun.
Heidi (25:50)
Right.
Yeah, I realized that and this only came about actually through my divorce, is that my friends and who I'm married to have to have a sense of humor. They cannot they and they have to have a little bit of a thick skin. Like because if they don't, they're gonna they're gonna take my joking as as, you know, like this barbed
Lianne Allard (26:06)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (26:18)
You know, it and that's and that's not me. I am not that person. I don't think I've ever been that person. But my my first husband, my kid's dad, did not have a sense of humor. And if he ever listens to this, he'll be like, Yes, I did. But not not really. And it's like I say things j in jest and it's not always sarcasm. Sometimes I just think it's really funny or we're just joking around and my husband ⁓
Lianne Allard (26:30)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (26:44)
The guy I'm married to now is has a great sense of humor. At least I think it's funny. I mean some people I'm sure are deeply offended by his comments. But I just think it's funny. And so I'm like, what's the what's the harm? You know, it's the intention. It's like I don't ever intend to hurt anybody. But I did realize as I got older, I have a sense of humor. I say things a little off the cuff sometimes. It's it's just who I am. And
Lianne Allard (26:55)
Their offense. Yeah. Yeah.
Heidi (27:10)
If you can't handle that and you're offended by it, you're probably not gonna be someone that I can hang around with very often because I am not gonna silence myself because it's I'm not I'm not doing anything wrong. You know, I thought for years I was doing something wrong by, you know, talking too loud or or being a certain way, and I just realized, well, that was just the wrong person for me, unfortunately. But or we're fortunate, I don't know, but
Lianne Allard (27:21)
Mm.
Is it?
That's right.
Heidi (27:38)
⁓ but that's something I did realize as I got older and midlife came in, I was like, Okay, I need humor in my life. the people around me don't have to join in on the humor, but they have to allow me the space to just be my silly, stupid self. Even if they don't think it's funny, I'm not gonna be criticized for it or whatever. It's never that I'm trying to, know, slip in a passive aggressive
Lianne Allard (27:54)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you're not trying to be like cot make a slight Yeah. You're gonna try and do that.
Heidi (28:05)
you know, ja jabbing. Mm mm. No,
no. And when if someone takes it that way, I'm like, if you really don't know me and if you don't really know me, then I just I don't have the space.
Lianne Allard (28:16)
I think it's funny
we're all gonna have to agree to disagree about things sometimes. But if you can't be with those type of people who still who see you
in a moment and still come hang out the next day and still find their way. 'cause we're all gonna be ridiculous and sometimes and
Heidi (28:33)
Yeah, I'm not
looking for a a you know, a twin
Yeah. It's that it's the the quality over everything else. yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah, you have a huge network. Exactly, yeah. So yeah. Yeah.
Lianne Allard (28:39)
Mm-hmm.
Meaningful relationships, not not acquaintances. I have enough acquaintances. Meaningful relations Yeah. And I but meaningful relationships are good.
Heidi (28:52)
we'll have to wrap it up here in a second, but when you were saying how you when you went through your divorce you had that core group of people and and that is a type of trauma bonding. I never heard that before until my son went off to basic training and some of those those his bros, it's like they stay in touch a little bit, but I know that at some point, you know, they they have gotten deployed and he went to college and but if they were all to come together again and at any moment it would be like
Lianne Allard (29:10)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (29:19)
no time ever passed. And and I think that that's just how it is and to be able to have those core people that help you through particular time periods because they understand you in that moment whether it's, you know, going through a divorce or a career change or
Lianne Allard (29:20)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (29:38)
you know, grief, like somebody you love dies. You know, it's like nobody can understand that kind of grief e except somebody who's also gone through it. So those kind of friendships are so valuable. And whether they're meant to last a lifetime or that moment, you know, it just depends. But I think it right. Yes. Yes.
Lianne Allard (29:47)
Gone through that, yeah.
Being able to accept that is a whole midlife moment. And just being
able to recognize that.
Heidi (30:04)
Yes, yeah. And that's right. So that it doesn't sour those relationships because they have meaning, they had meaning and they they still hold that meaning. It just doesn't you don't serve each other in the same way. So it's it's just it's okay to to both move on, you know? So cool. Awesome. I love this conversation. I'm so glad we got to talk about this and I'm hoping at some point we will be able to talk about the whole should I stay or should I go marriage concept.
Lianne Allard (30:19)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heidi (30:32)
You know, because that's a big one that comes up.
Lianne Allard (30:33)
Mm.
Heidi (30:36)
I hope the next time the Airstream studio will be set up. Yeah, I'm really excited.
Lianne Allard (30:38)
That's gonna be the coolest thing ever. So people have to just
keep watching your podcast put the pressure on Heidi to get this for it to evolve into the airstream.
Heidi (30:44)
I know, I know. Well,
I did little videos on YouTube. So if anyone likes, you know, demo demo airstream stuff or any kind of demo, I'm I'm gonna put that in the show notes too. But it's been a process. So I hired two of my friends. They're my friends' husbands and they're my friends too, but
I was like, I can't do this myself. This is gonna be like a five-year project, and I need this studio this year. So it's it'll it'll be good. It'll be cool. It'll be cozy. Yeah, awesome. Well, thank you so much, Lianne I appreciate you and have a good rest of your day. And again, you want to get in touch with Lianne, ⁓ and she is a stylist. I don't think we mentioned that in this episode, but she does an amazing job with hair, all sorts of hair. Specifically, we were talking about going gray last time.
Lianne Allard (31:06)
Yeah.
It's gonna be fun. Yeah. Thanks for having me.
Heidi (31:32)
And ⁓ all of her contact information is in the show notes. So thank you so much. I'll see you s I'll see you around the hood. Bye.
Lianne Allard (31:37)
Thank you.
Heidi (31:42)
Hey there. So I was going to wait to do the patron shout-outs until the next episode so I could group them all together. But I had so many that I decided to go ahead and just do it this time and ⁓ not worry about wearing makeup or making sure that the background was okay because some of you will see this in video. Most of you listen in audio. So here it goes. I had 11 patrons join.
it just in the last week. And the exciting thing is not just that there's eleven people, but of all those eleven, I only know one of them. So I am super excited to give this shout out to all of you who joined. And I apologize in advance if I do not say your name right. You can correct me in the comments if you would like. I'm gonna do my best. So I have Ivette
Brenda, Deborah, Minakshi, I think. I don't know. Inge Kristi Sarah Nadocha.
Cassandra, Estela, and Mochy de Milk So thank you so much for supporting the podcast and joining Patreon. I hope you have been able to go back and listen to all the episodes, including any of the bonus episodes that I offered to all of the members. Thank you so much.
Heidi (33:11)
and now for the disclaimer. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. The views expressed are our own and should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial guidance. always consult a qualified professional regarding your specific situation.
By listening you agree that we are not liable for any actions taken based on this content.