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Thousand-year-old masterwork debris litters the swamp, leading somewhere no one wanted to go. An osseogrove — bone-rooted, red-leaved, patient — crits Oren for thirty-eight and starts squeezing. Past it: a silver cube half-buried in the mud, a Perfectite siege tower from the Fundamental Battlefield, leaking a floating particulum looking for orders.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
are you guys ready for another exciting episode of rod grind
okay good good good good one good one okay so for for for podcast folks uh i have added uh
so so uh oneroshi is not here today uh she has been replaced at least on her overlay with a
missing milk carton and we just have like an image of her i think the artwork's from jurors i think
but uh yeah it's uh so that's beautiful and the reason yeah her birthday yeah it's her birthday
so everybody message in the chat about her birthday yeah so if you see oneroshi and discord and stuff
like that please wish her a happy birthday and really appreciate it uh yeah with that uh hi
we're rock grind if you ever like anything that we do please visit us at narrative declaration.com
and our patreon uh patreon forward slash narrative declaration but i'm going to introduce you to
the amazing folks that bring your rock right starting with hoki hey that's me i'm hulky crow i'm a voice
actor for ogre popinang and some other sort of projects i did captain's attic before and i will
be playing the kundrasu cleric rahua you can find me at hulky crow on twitter next we got arandil
hi i'm arandil i'm writing for alpha busa and i'm voice acting for this and also for alpha busa and
doing a bunch of crap on the side besides that i am playing as baldrick weathers the alchemist you
can find me at twitter at adder and delio also that art is by red snut jeers oh i'm sorry i kill
you continue that art yeah thank you uh and speaker hello i'm speaker d i play the terrorist so you don't
have to uh i am a writer and voice actor for alpha busa i play hunter the parenting i play big d
uh i do other things and today i play tan hauser the terrorist tyborg magus i'm the terrorist well
we're both terrorists we're a terracule shut up and i am your host zorn the bear i'll be playing
the strict druid oran basically you're on my channel and all my stuff or whatever but uh we're
happy to see you here and the one who is going to be bringing us through a terrible time through the
swamps and as thurston after you introduce you introduce yourself would you like to tell us
what we have in store today yeah sure hi my name is thurston uh i'm the managing creative director
for the starfinder campaign setting and i work for paizo who make the pathfinder role-playing game
which we're playing today whoa boy um i play everyone else but mostly my entire universe is now
subsumed into play and pick turn squilch foot which is where we're going to start today he's uh he's
he's a lovely little halfling um all right so uh we are we are going to jump right in
i'll get him off your screen now he stays there forever and ever he's just there you know i begin
punching thurston in his liver i need that liver to live i find an axe i kill thurston
you have to get through the flood water first i'm jamming um no okay so um we uh where we last left
off really quick our party has begun their exploration of the uh the southwestern region
of the solitude the the swamplands that surround the city of outset in their multiple quests uh last
session maybe was a bit of a side quest uh setup where our party learned of a whole lot of things
that are going on right now uh and have uh talked to every npc imaginable and started a bunch of quests
where they first met with adita neeson um and and her companions who were searching for a set of
runes somewhere to the southwest they also had a another encounter with the mysterious mr alert who
indicated that oran's dragon friend might be further to the southwest uh some are some are marked on this
map here in the southwest area uh and then they also have the the twang folk the mysterious uh primal
followers of the old powers who reside somewhere in this swamp um and are going to maybe have some
answers about how to fix the rot problem that a few of our pcs have all right so with all that being
said we are jumping into the the sort of uh crux of the second adventure of our story here as our
intra our destined band i should say of of chuckles heads off into the swamps of the solitude
and begin some uh some good old-fashioned hexploration so what i have done is i've talked
to the players a little bit about this provided some rules i've even provided them a cool little
handout that i'll pop up here um but basically as they traverse the swamps they're going to have time
to do some group activities which essentially allow them to explore this the swamps and travel through
so each of these hexes that you're seeing on this map represents a good 12 miles of terrain
and so we are going to be traveling through the solitude and per last session our party has
dispatched a group of mercenaries off with uh sir victrix to investigate the twang folk and might
what might be going on there that's more to the to the west but our party is making their way
southwest towards the runes uh for the purposes of this session since vali um is not around or odo roshi
is not around volley is actually going to be uh working with dita and uh the the two bodyguards
there to excuse me um to essentially set up base camp uh and and do a bit of uh fortifying of like
of a camp that the pcs are going to use that leaves our other our other uh destined band of non-volleys
uh plus one uh amazing halfling to explore the solitude and begin kind of searching out some of
these hexes and seeing what they can find so where we are beginning is you've traveled now to to this
this how this hex here to the southwest uh and we can begin a bit of exploration um that being said
you are essentially going to spend about like three days um kind of traveling around this hex seeing
what you can find um we begin the party has been at this for the better part of two days now uh our
group at this point consists of of our destined band minus one volley but including a pick turn
uh the the group has been been going around i want to ask really quick uh for the the players we have
here what everyone is sort of doing as as their action um in the handouts i've provided there's a
bit of uh exploration activities that our players can be doing so i want to go through that with our
players just to give our listeners and myself a bit of a sense of what everyone is doing as you're
kind of exploring the swamps of the solitude here and i'm going to give some better description of this
area once i have a bit of sense of what you're all doing and i am going to start that off with uh
let's start in order that i have on my screen here uh erndel what is baldric doing uh as as you're
exploring these hexes here baldric ever knowing that the swamps are a treacherous and bad place
from his time out here basically palling around with victrix and her gang of losers is that the
swamps suck the swamps are terrible so he is scouting because he wants to make sure that nobody is
going to be laying in ambush not least of which would be just animals wandering around not that we
couldn't take them at this point because we kind of dispatched that pile of bears with little
difficulty so i am doing the scout exploring activity absolutely okay cool um yeah all right
then um ruhua hulky what is uh what what is ruhua up to well given that ruhua is to some level
intimated with the swamps of the solitude he hasn't been here in some time so he is kind of lacking
in reagents and various other uh you know plant fetishes whatever he can find in the swamps he might
be able to use to help his comrades and arms later on so he will be procuring supplies
okay so you are procuring supplies so which of those sort of uh exploration actions are you
are you going to want to be utilizing there to represent this
it disappeared on my screen so i would tell you in about three seconds i've just i've re-shared it i've
re-shared it with you again hulky this is where hulky's like i forgot he asked us to read something
my god uh i'm going to be using search search okay okay so you're going to be using perception
to look for traps and other hidden things perfect though okay okay okay um that brings us to speaker
d what is tanhauser doing okay so tanhauser yes is probably on magic duty since he's about the
closest thing to the wizard this group has and we're looking out for magical labyrinths right
specifically like an ancient cave or ruin right yeah okay so to that end i think that tanny is
going to be doing detect magic uh consistently just trying to see if there's any trace of any kind of
latent mystic energy that could bring them closer to the ruin awesome awesome awesome and that brings
us to zoran the bear what is oran gonna be doing for oran's action as oran um has experienced going
through wildlife a whole bunch knows there's gonna be a lot of critters out there with giant sharp angry
teeth that may want to ambush his friends so he's going to be searching around constantly for any
ambushing predators traps anybody with twanging banjos
look i've done the banjo thing in another campaign it's not happening here
um yet okay perfect perfect perfect and that leaves us with one other individual what is
picturn squilchfoot gonna be up to y'all well right now what he's expiring oh no uh my life is
choking oh hold on if he's dying let me pet cash him
no not like this
picturn and club tucked best friends um all right um so let's see here no i don't want the warhams
he is a good lord um i think well you know picturn's got a little bit of of knowledge on some stuff he
knows a few things here and there not much but he knows a little bit picturn's gonna be
uh yes yeah this is he's gonna be investigating now what that means is that picturn's gonna be
recalling knowledge every little little while you go so he's gonna be talking about everything
he sees as you travel he gets to make checks on everything so you know are you sure he can't do
something else yeah we we don't need another glove talk of helping and hindering and i feel that he
will hinder well no recall it's literally a thing he's doing yes yeah he's literally doing something
yes did you read the rules they did nobody read my rules why did they read my rules okay um
this is good you shut up i'm trying to defend you and your stupid little halfling bunk
you're going to die this marriage is falling apart all right i'm putting
all right i'm uh i'm i'm putting i'm putting down some uh some some notes here so you can all see on
the screen of what everyone's doing um with that all being said if i can so baldrick scouting uh
rukua and oran you're both searching can i get both of you to give me a perception check please yeah
it's gonna be 29 or 23. very good very good okay um and then i will also have our other boy make a check here
okay and picturn uh is is looking around uh at the natural world and then taking cataloging what
what he is seeing all right so as as you are traveling both oran and rukua you are able to
get a very good a very good lay of the land the the particular area that you are at to the southwest
this hex here uh you know it is it is heavy heavy marshland that being said as you are as you are
traveling through this region you are able to start piecing together a bit of what is nearby
specifically you're able to to sort of get get a sense of what what terrain is is going to be around
you uh to the to the northwest you can tell there is something of a a flooded lake um or at least
like a marshy terrain that is predominantly water so you can't even do the sort of slow
traffic that you're you're doing through here uh you'll need some kind of portage or other means
of traveling or exploring this this uh hex that will be adjacent to you and then you also get the sense
that to the southwest are like almost a bit more of a forested area though you can see that a lot of
the sludge and like waterways here are a bit less predominant there so you'll actually probably have
a better time moving through the those two hexes to to the south and southwest but you're able to
really just like get a sense and and this is both oran and rukua um rukua your your knowledge though
gives you a like or your perception i should say as you're exploring through this uh this this 12 mile
area the space of of the swamplands you're able to detect something that is like a bit aberrant um
particularly you're starting to find lots of ancient debris that is coming up through the swamp and
there is a lot of equipment here um and so as you are you are traveling through the swamp one thing
you you would notice is you find like old discarded weapons armors and shield pieces that have been
like haphazardly tossed broken these are things that don't have any value like they're completely
broken um but you're seeing more and more of them as though some kind of troop or or group passed
through here um and and you're you're you're seeing it predominantly in this hex giving you giving
you kind of a clue that you're you're getting closer to something or at least some group has
has traveled along a path that you were able to to sort of detect
well you're certainly not the only ones who have passed through here look here see all these supplies
wrecked about i'm not sure if these are broken or just replaced with better wares but
someone's been here not too long ago either people tend to not just break supplies and throw them on
the ground though i don't know have you seen tanhauser he's pretty good at doing that that's tanhauser he's
not a merchant well i would still keep our guards up if these things have been here quite recently that
i'd hazard a guess and say that we are not the only ones looking to loot these ruins
you have um warfare lore um that might be an appropriate lore on some of the equipment you're coming across
let me see what i have what do you have in terms of the laws i do have warfare lore yeah give me give me a check on it
yeah maybe and this is any of you can do this like i'm not like you can do things as part of your uh
i got a 20.
30. anyone else anyone else i am trained in warfare you i'm certain plants uh 21. okay uh your plant
knowledge orin does not help you with uh this equipment however um warfare 20 and 21 is a
reasonable um number you're you're able to tell that this equipment is particularly old um
and to give you an idea of how old if you had to guess it's probably
oh let's see 100 um like
oh a a a good like it's over over a thousand years old this equipment
um some of like the the like the pieces that you are finding here that rahua is like noticing with
with their particularly high perception check are like almost like half mostly embedded in the ground
there might be a disturbance that allows rahua to like pull them out and you to notice them
um like most of the markings on the metal is worn some of the shields you're pulling out in this case
have like maybe rubbings on them but that's it like any paint or symbols have been worn off but
you're you're guessing the equipment that's here is somewhere in the area of a thousand years old
it's always a thousand it's never like 763 i mean like like you okay if someone critically
succeeded i would have given the exact gear but i'm giving you in the closest approximation
get good at ice rolling does any of it look in acceptable quality or is it all just junk it would
all just be be junk and since there's no identifying marks on it it's not even like something you could
like take to an antiquarian or anything um it's more that you're you're getting a sense of how old
this equipment is right uh but that being said uh you could also if if you have crafting that could
be another check you could give me to uh to sort of go ahead do it do the equipmenty look on this
as well i will do that yeah yeah that is not alchemical savant because it's all chemical reagents
go right i'll give you a 26 yeah it's enough to tell that the equipment was would have had to have
been of a really high quality like we're talking like this was masterwork maybe even magical equipment
that the magic has faded from uh at some point but it like to have lasted this long it must have been
incredibly high-end equipment so this would be the kind of stuff that you would find in like an army
yes absolutely absolutely an army possibly even an elite unit within an army
either a very very old regiment got lost here or there was a battle here because there's a whole
bunch of military equipment junked around and it looks like it's decent enough quality to be military
or very well supplied mercenary company it doesn't really elucidate anything though
hmm well it does at least assuage a number of concerns that was more recent but it was said
to be some kind of garrison or bastion up ahead so that does make sense that would military grade equipment
perhaps we'll find something more useful than their junk on their corpses
um brahua you're starting to feel incredibly uneasy now um something like you don't want that feeling
like i'm getting close to something that's very wrong like as you're saying this as you're looking at
this equipment and speaking aloud you just you get this like sense in your your moat being that
something wrong is coming
yeah here here the the very ripples through space
the bagpipes begin playing in the background
and he's just gonna continue talking ignoring ignoring pictor and playing his
fucking backbites please carry on quality
these these mercenaries mentioned something was
present here there's remnants of interplanar combat it's fundamental battlefield but it's it's more than
that it's it's something wrong it's like those forces are lingering on an eidolon of torment these
laner beings clashing even well beyond their time
i would suggest keeping your guard up although if we're dealing with fundamentals
there's little in the realm of predictability to prepare for
just keep your your wits about you my friends as with everything it's haunted as expected
all right so we got that much at least should we fan out and try looking for anything else in this area
well if we were to
going to where we don't know where these ruins even are
well at this point um i i just to clarify ruhu from from what you've been seeing of the scattered
equipment you you you have a general idea of what direction it was going in anyways
have a bit of a path to follow um sort of leads to the the southeastern section of this uh of this
particular hex of terrain if we are continuing to follow the trail of detritus we should reach the ruins
actually it's probably not more than a
hours away if that we're fairly close but keep an eye out for what's what's the best way i can put this
uh aberrations in the flow of causality little flicks of light here and there
knots of things that should not be you'll you'll know it when you see it is the best way the best
euphemism i could use to describe what we are to come upon if my assumptions are correct we would be
foolish indeed to find the deratritis of a thousand year old army and not proceed with caution
well unlike them we're probably not going to be engaging another army in combat
if we are we're in we're in the wrong place and assuming it is an army that killed them
so we would hope
all right go
okay
who are you you lead the way for for yourself and your companions um also can each of you go into
your character sheet you should all be at uh like topped out hit points so please make sure that's the
case i mean for no apparent reason right like that yeah yeah
yeah yeah i have this like uh condition wrong condition i can just like right click that off
right i mean uh if you do that your character explodes uh excellent i would use that you incur
wow i'm gonna i'm gonna make it boom okay yeah yeah so we're gonna head we're gonna head southeast
so this way up yeah so basically like this again i'm generalizing like it's within the
hex so you're not you're not moving but like i'm telling you it's kind of like this area of the
hex ish yeah which leads me to believe if we were like searching around it would probably be
around yeah yeah yeah so so you can like like basically you're you're you're focusing your efforts
this is all fairly like abstract with the rules you've made this is just more at this point like
rahua has a path you have discovered the the hint of something and rahua can lead you there
essentially i'm helping and then baldrick you would you would be scouting as part of this now
you continue on um as as you do so i should i should set the scene of the swamps of the solitude a
bit there are crisscrossing streams uh there are like not not quite puddles but like small little bodies
of water that just have stagnated some of them look more like algae and slush and moss than actual
liquids there are knocked over branches there are the remains of dead trees and there is large um like
large reed-like grass that sways in in a wind with a with a slight fog that moves through the area as well
everything here is is got a a slight tinge of humidity to it um it's not swelteringly hot but it's
enough that you kind of get that uncomfortable feeling if anything it seems like you're here at a
particularly reasonable time of of of the year um you're passing through sections of you know like
lone trees or groupings of trees as you make your way to the towards the the southeast area which i've
mentioned it adjoins to the next hex down which is a more forested area you're you're carrying on coming
to sort of this um coming towards this this region and as you do so you see more and more trees that
that rise above everything particularly like reddish uh reddish huge trees with with some like they look
to be almost dead leaves but as like picturn points up oh no those are quite alive you see those leaves
they look like that is a defense mechanism of some kind i believe because those leaves they got little
insects on them so well they looked at this actually the circle of life being really good and he keeps
talking and talking until one of you inevitably interrupts him um because it's not like he was
saying something useful there so it's oh yeah yeah but but essentially he he goes on and explains that
a lot of a lot of the foliage here um is is does it so much have the the typical like leaves fall off as
insects consume them and become very bloated and then fly off to hibernate in a in a weird sort of
cycle of life um but but picturn is is very much pointing out that a lot of a lot of the trees that
you are coming towards now are sort of bloated with insects so in some cases like some of the trees here
look almost like they're wriggling um and where you would expect to see like red leaf trees some of them
are almost pitch black um and as you like focus on them for more than a few moments you can see that
they're actually swaying under the weight of insects that are on them and slowly consuming them uh
picturn continues like on with with descriptions is there anything beyond what picturn is describing that
we can use like is is what does this signify beyond like there are bugs here this is a lot of them
yeah this is signifying to you that this place is alive like almost everything here is alive and
that there is like life in every quarter he's essentially trying to give you a sense of just how
um how intense the ecosystem is in this place because things are doing like like there are so many insects
here that are surviving off of these trees but it's like okay you know don't don't muck with a tree too
much because if you do you might have like a swarm of insects be on you uh and so he's he's giving you
this more as like a hey good to know but also like he's explaining this and and you're seeing all of
this too um just as a matter of like what this place is like and giving you some some detail on that
um but but but eventually uh you you find your way um toward towards some path uh that looks like it has
some sort of trodden trodden steps on it um they're not not like super recent but you know
you're able to find some tracks they are not they're definitely not the the thousand year old um
like group that came through here though you can still see bits and pieces of that group no instead
you find yourself um coming to a set of trees that no longer have the insects the insects have sort of
departed these trees they have like dark brownish red um leaves on them and you find yourself coming
to a stream that breaks up the the reedy grass here um and as you sort of look look to the the southeast
you can see that there is a uh a good amount of uh like terrain and grass that surrounds this stream
and the path that leads towards something but then you can see in the distance some
snapped off um ropes and what appears to have been a long destroyed rope bridge
um if you zoom out you can kind of see a bit more of of the area here like it's it's still
it's not quite nighttime yet um so it's giving you just like a look at the entire area as you come
and there's sort of this like foggy mist not enough to give concealment don't worry um but yeah
we're not doing that song and dance again no not not in this case
well look at look at all that and like picture and sort of like point points forward um that's at
the rope bridge that's been destroyed um this is all right i'm not sure if you want to zoom out you can
kind of see it to the the southeast there
yeah there we go um yeah so you kind of see this like this this rope bridge and then
further on there's the stream by it so each of you kind of come come to see this as you're approaching
um tenhauser your magic detection hasn't gone off yet as you're you're constantly casting detect
magic you're looking around you're there is nothing magical here
i'm not sensing anything except for the headache that this broken bridge would prove to us
do we have the means to ford this river
uh can we get closer to the busted ass bridge from where we are absolutely um you guys could just like
move yourselves at this point go ahead okay well you never know there's some time like
i will approach them yes i had to answer my door to doing the whole thing so basically yeah yeah
i apologize no you're good oh crap i'm like move why why are you not moving the map zoren yeah i i came
back right you had wireless sound from like oh i apologize i thought i had time um as everyone gets
up to the bridge and goes like well i could i can carry a rope and fly across or do some various
things to help get us over uh in addition i could try to see if i remember how to do something to help
us get across i know i know i can but i could probably cast something to you know help people walk across
water but i don't think i think it'll only affect one other person
where oh oh i have an idea i can also make a temporary bridge or uh knock that tree down on the
other side if i fly over that's yeah you sort of like you look across and and to sort of like
get give give an example uh to chat there's like uh there's one of the these sort of red leaf trees it's
it's it's particularly large and gnarled and sort of like almost has like a sway to it as it comes
up with these um like yeah like this top of of red leaves uh and it's built into the side of the
stream like most of the other um trees in this area its roots are clearly like embedded in the ground
just by the stream uh uh i would like to roll a perception check on the tree to make sure it too
is not infested with bugs so i don't jostle it and get eaten alive you know what how about let's
get everyone here to give me since since we're like since you're gonna like do stuff in order
let's get everyone here to give me a perception check for initiative so like set your tokens up
in like order so we will treat this like an encounter so to speak okay yeah rolling just
regular perception initiative yeah exactly yeah okay that's where initiative i did the
with the feet incredible initiatives i got 33 yeah okay also um i will update this but each of you um
each of you are super cool and i will uh give you a uh plus plus one to all of your uh initiatives
um which is important here uh because um baldrick has been doing scouting so thanks to baldrick's
scouting uh you are going to um you're gonna you're gonna maybe notice some stuff all right so
you get up here um and we have some really solid initiatives here excellent um all right starting
with oran oran you begin to inspect the tree uh you begin to inspect the tree uh you begin to inspect
the tree and as you inspect the tree uh you notice something that is of concern um you can see that
around the the roots of this tree are what appear to be like skulls and bones
like probably maybe like a dozen or so
yeah
anything else fly boy yeah he's kind of sitting there going hmm as soon as i go over there and get eaten
by a tree
he kind of looks over at everybody else and kind of points out all the skulls and bones
around a girl like i think that tree's murderous
as his vicious intent i feel
let me check i'm going to uh take out my grappling gun okay okay so or look just really
quick uh since we were like still technically in initiative oh right or in like so you spend your
turn like telling everybody like tree is sus right uh are you wanting to move or do anything
else as part of this like cast a buff or yeah he he'll he'll seem suspicious of everything but you
know he is going to be a brave little bird boy he wants to help his friends oh okay uh he will
he'll take his rope okay he'll take his rope and kind of throw it on so one action take out rope
second action to kind of drop it on the ground there or like drop like the end of it and so
he'll take the slack and basically uh use the rest of his movement to kind of start flying over
um yeah okay where do you want to where you want to end up basically preferably uh
uh probably around here yeah if that's fine go ahead yeah he'll just go just glide over with
the holding with the rope absolutely yeah and then he will land and that's all he can do right now
hey cool uh that's the end of your turn uh that brings us to rahua
uh so i would like to make a nature check on this tree yeah absolutely like like okay i love this
party like orange like that tree's i'm gonna fly right beside it like islands narrow stairs at tree
yeah sure give me a nature check a 24 24 24 24 is enough to identify this um
tell me voice my head oh yeah yeah sure uh i'll tell you all right so um this is a a type of tree
uh that is native to the solitude called an osseogrove um it is a uh it is a plant creature
that um takes nutrients from like living like living creatures um and will essentially
run into them with its roots it will actually like murder its targets with its roots and then when they
die their bones get tangled up into it and so its roots are essentially made up in
entirely of the people and things that it has killed um and because its roots are like
like almost like metallic in their strength um they they dig so oftentimes like you'll have a massive
uh like a mass of bones underneath the surface of one of these things um which can then burst forward
because the roots themselves animate and then like they they have a skeletal appearance
um you would immediately know that these are not undead they are just plants that have like
got a whole bunch of bones caught up in their roots uh you can ask me one other question about them
oh man
what would be what would they be weak to
this is a creature where fire is particularly effective against them
and uh fire and oddly enough bludgeoning weapons because it will break through a lot of the like
the bone mass which makes the like the roots a bit more effective to strike if you were to use
like a slashing or piercing weapon would not be as effective because like the bones and such would
cause a bit of a problem so weaknesses here would be like fire definitely weak and then bludgeoning
would be your most effective like melee type
oren you need to get away from that right now and like as you as you say it the tree ominously shakes
you have two other actions though uh it seems fine over here come on guys thanks bro
uh how deep is this river um i mean it's sort of brackish and like hard to look into um but you
guess it might not be that bad maybe oh fuck um getting owned oh this ain't looking this ain't so good here
uh tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree we're not our movement here we're gonna see how far we
can get yeah yeah absolutely i got a rope
has oren secured the rope around anything or is he just no he's landed with the rope he oh yeah he's
holding it okay he's he's like on his way to the post that's over to the left so he's like he's like
so in the interest of not walking over immediately
mm-hmm who is just kind of we're just
that there we go it just yeah uh yeah i'm gonna use anarchic barrage yeah sure like summon
the the raw power of chaos to hit it with something okay yeah i need to get this tree
aggroed on anything but oren right now okay okay
the roiling tides of cash you'll miss damn yeah all right i'm not gonna say an error declaration
right away on that one oh yeah i mean like you can tell this thing is like real thick too
so as you go to attack it um it like your your barrage of of stuff just bounces off of like the trunk
and you see now it's starting to shake and move and you can hear rattling bones and ripping earth as
it starts to like lift itself up uh but that will be the end of your go
uh tanhauser tanhauser until the revelation of this horrible old tree was looking out at the river
thinking i wonder if there's good fishing around these parts tragically shut up
look look tanhauser's playing the real game he's gonna do the fishing mini game that unlocks the like
ultimate weapon at the end of this campaign he's playing i will kill you
npc guy well it's a great day for fishing yuck and let's keep i need to max out the fishing and
racing mini games to get the sword style all right i'm going to instead of um anything exceptionally
rational knowing that my friend is in danger the time has come so have i i'm gonna lava produce flame at
him yeah sweet let's rock cast produce flame toss produce flame
sadly that will just miss boy oh boy oh terrific i love going last
um you still have a move move action technically you do have all right well a action left i should
say because that's only two actions to produce time um would you say be a single action to take
out my grappling gun and shoot it somewhere uh it's it's an action to draw it so you'd have
you could like have it in your hand now sort of thing but i think you said you were drawing it like
i'll give you that you had it out by the time this happened so you could shoot it where do you want to
shoot it um you know i actually i'm not going to shoot it instead i remembered that i have my funny
ha ha funny boy power and so i'm going to activate laughing shadow instead oh yeah okay and
it'll give me some extra movement speed for next turn and other funny bonuses yeah you you cast your
magic you you throw a ball of fire that like rushes past this immense tree and then you uh you you
mask yourself in your your eldritch energies in preparation for what will clearly not be anything
bad to come right meeting the quantum engine and uh yeah that'll be tan hauser's turn
oh whoops as i click oh no it's pictures okay the the tree the tree goes the tree has
the tree dislodges itself first of all so you can see now that it has this immense like trunk of of
bones that has come up this is a huge huge creature it occupies like a 15 by 15 foot square on our map
for our audio listeners um and it is it it has um it is it is uh it has appeared um and it's sort of
is is looking around with its first action uh oran my friend it is going it is going to attack you
with its uh with its roots it's friend tap right yeah a little little friend tap right a little friend
tap lethal friend damage little one damage it'll be fine
it'll create why is that a critical hit why do you roll 11 on the die and still crit me
what is this thurston it's a terrifying tree monster uh-huh yeah how's that you you decided to get very
close to it yeah yeah
did 38 points of damage to you that guy's nothing's wrong at all i'm just having to go
he really gets just inviscerated by a tree that will be that will be the osseo groves first action
it's next action oh cool i'm just gonna post this here
it's gonna grab you with its roots and pull you in as this thing begins like as these roots
basically smash into you they do slashing damage they actually like tear through parts of your body
like into your flesh and then begin pulling you close to it as you come towards the like
the gaggle of skeleton corpses that are that that make up its roots um so that would be its second action
um and then uh for its i mean technically it would have only all to make grab me
well it attacked you and then it grabbed you yeah did you attack on the auto grab huh yeah so it's
two actions attack for one grab for one yeah but if your attacker has the auto grab it'd be one
it does not have the auto grab oh okay but if it's a grab see i would i would not make a broken monster
zoran but why do you have another action what's wrong with you keep going because because it's only
attacked you for one action and then grabbed you for two it could have attacked you and grabbed you
as one but i did not design it to be a broken monster because i am a good person
get on with it anyways anyways anywho um and then it will uh use its third and final action
to constrict you to constrict you which does automatic damage to you
yeah and it will constrict you for i have to actually type this though because it's silly um
well not bad for another 14 points
uh so like you watch as orange like skin like is is like smashed by razor wire uh roots uh pulled
towards this thing and then it looks like it is crushing him and his skin is turning purple um
there we go that's uh that's the trees action you know orange should have just left that
leafed the tree a leaf the tree should have leafed the tree no tranquilize your dart
try that was your dart damn tenhauser those quaaludes are hitting you real good
uh well okay there we go um all right all right all right well that's that's the problem pick turn
do your turn quietly and with as little talking as possible i beg you
big turn uh begins to inspire competence uh or inspire courage i should say um as he begins playing
like backs up slightly to here and begins playing bagpipes this is not helping no it will he's inspiring
us yeah he's inspiring you come on inspire just stop the bagpipes well well look you just don't
understand how how great that is uh all right i'm gonna drop this down uh he will be inspiring
courage to all of you as he plays so actually i gotta see can i drop that there i can now can i
apply this oh i can look at that all right yeah i'm actually i'm oh nice i can actually just select
you and add it to my hot bar which is way more effective okay there we go all right so all of you
are now inspired by the bagpipes including orin who is being pulled to his death by this tree
has like victor has backed up and is like playing the bagpipes wide eyes staring
um that will be uh young picturn's quilts for that brings the baldrick weathers
all right now that everyone has done everything is this tree made of wood or bone
um this tree is made of a combination the upper portions of it are entirely wood and then it has
like wood-esque you know organic roots that are covered by bone but no matter what you do it's
definitely going to be weak to fire oh okay in that case i'm going to quick alchemy and alchemist fire
because i didn't have a chance to prepare for this before we got ambushed so uh i'm going to quick
alchemy uh uh alchemist fire actually wait a second thurston i have a question yes i know the
rules for a coring charge is that it has to be placed can i also throw it um well this is bespoke
rules so now you're making me pull up our bespoke pdfs for this yeah it's almost like i'm advertising
and uh hang on a second i have eight alchemist fire moderates to to hand so actually i'll just do that
yeah okay okay i'll get the answer to that though for you as you do that please do anyway i'm going
to target the tree and seeing that uh you know we're about to lose oran again very funny very epic
uh i think you're like wow he's a lost cause well what do you expect me to do you want me to
attack him i can do that no don't don't no i'm not okay i'm targeting i'm targeting him okay okay
okay you're targeting but okay okay well goodbye or orange you glad that you can respond uh once
once more after this i think right anyway uh i'm going to throw three alchemist fires i'll start with
one okay uh do i get any bonuses because of how big this fucking thing is uh no but it is it is
something that like is wriggling a lot so yeah and the ac also represents like you might hit it but
it's like got really thick thick outer layer so well here we go out goes fire moderate throw one
that's 28 do the damage on that yeah give me sweet sweet dimaggio
uh that'll do dimensional assault damage thank you for that uh tanhazard i i'm sorry i
like all right so i don't remember that being an effect of the the alchemist fire so here's the
here okay so here's what's happened so just so everyone knows because rahua made the the check
it will take it would normally take 11 it's it's weak against fire so it takes an extra 10 points of
damage so it will take um 21 points and now it also has persistent fire too except because it's weak to
fire any time this triggers it takes 12 fire damage very powerful very good i'm going to
multi-attack penalty minus five and throw another one at it absolutely grenade go
not good enough that's a critical miss it is a critical miss now here's here's the thing
with a critical miss you you don't hit it at all so you won't get splash damage that being said
if you were to just missed it you'd still get splash damage which would then trigger
the weakness as well so just so you're aware of that that's fine yeah so you toss toss the first
one this tree kind of pulls back and it doesn't make a sound so much as you just hear the rattling
and cracking of bones as it like moves and then you go to throw the second and now it's just like
waving intently and just the other bomb goes goes wide all right and i can do literally nothing
else except attack for a third time so i'm doing that with a map minus 10 this thing has an obscene
amount of ac by the way it is it does it does why does it have such a high armor class it does not
dodge because it is it is a high level creature anyway i throw and on that another 18 too
uh yeah you you toss another one and it goes wild as well but this i've done what i can for all of us
you are probably the most effective even if you do miss oh that's very funny all right so it is now
your turn orin all right orin die you are you are grabbed by this thing what would you like to do
i have to leave i have to do an athletics check i believe to get out
yes i'm gonna laugh my ass off if volley is absent for a game and orin goes down one more tick on the
rot scale because he just got too close to a tree i mean hi yes okay very good oh keep laughing it's
funny i mean we're we we are literally unable to be assailed by this thing orin is just over there dying
uh good times get out of grab okay all right i saw it that's fucking i'm going to eddie probably
has an absurd amount of uh strength so i'm gonna have to hero quite that thank you chat for your
yeah you're gonna you gotta keep trying brother yeah 17 27 how's that yeah yeah yeah hey missus
now here's the thing normally it would miss but but but it's on fire so that is going to be enough
to get you out because it's really worried about being on fire so it's not quite as focused on
holding on to you so i will i will i'll be good i'll be good and uh remove the grabbed condition
uh thank you you are free now
mainly fly away wait one sec i'm just gonna post this in chat
oh yeah um the one bad
this is a tree with levels and fighter yes yeah so attack of opportunity is it just a fighter thing it's
just an ability it is an ability that monsters get yeah yeah yeah um but in this case uh it will um
it will attempt to uh it will attempt to do a trunk slam on you as you as you rush away from it
uh uh one sec here yeah and zach okay uh oh what what you doing huh uh no no no sorry sorry sorry
he's just killing you i have i have a thing i have a thing that i think too it's called living
i like playing at the stage all right well uh there's just making a bunch of gm rolls to kill you it's
okay yeah it's all good it's so good it hits you it doesn't crit you though yeah cool so it won't
interrupt my manipulate action but uh no so you will fly and then you will land and you will go cathod
at 19 damage yeah hi guys i'm just imagining the the sound effect from ed ed and eddie wherever the
tree trunk is falling and or just looking back in horror about what's going on as like as as like
the way i would describe it is like oran guts gets to flying and then this thing like snaps back and
just bashes it with the with its top and like the trunk hits his back and sends him hurtling a cross
landing beside baldrick all right now that's taken care of rua i like to imagine orin is on the ground
right now i just love the sheer number of effects you have on your token right
i'm someone that's a lot can we hit 100 independent effects on oran maybe i can try i got acid and fire
good i could use a lesser one so everyone turns on orange just just to token we need the achievement guys
all right okay today we're going to kill and maim oran finally i give him belladonna i give him
i give him arsenic i give him anthrax we're status maxing i'll give him club talk
let's see what's going to happen is he's going to die and then he'll come back with all those diseases
permanently good good plan so uh you've got the us you got the uh the osteogrove right
yeah focus on him thank you and i'm going to cast stabilize on oran
okay
can i can i pose a question yeah is there a reason you're stabilizing him and not
like is it just like it's better if you're unconscious with this
i can't see i cannot let him see me commit crimes against my own people
we're saying to oran this is what you get go to napville go to go nap okay yeah
yes okay so your actions for right now i i will focus on him in a second actually do i have any
that's you have one action left after you stay oh
i love that it's not just like oh yeah i should heal you're like no
fuck that guy very good no stabilize okay i'm gonna interpose myself between him and tanhouser
because i know tanhouser is just feeling incensed to kill oran for no reason and like as you're
walking towards like poor poor oran's like broken body on the floor to stabilize you just like
lock eyes with picture and it's just going in the bag pipe all right um that's it for who tanhouser
you're up all right we finally did it we've gotten our companion out of danger you're gonna
fucking rush this tree are you how tempting how tempting it is to just
watch out for those stairs dude
what are you doing like like this is gonna be one of speakers like i'm totally going to
the melee with the tree come on do it well no i wasn't going to but now you have to but now i
have to yes it's not like i would have introduced a monster that was absolutely way too high level
while you're exploring i would everything's balanced in this campaign oh thurston is taking
notes out of his favorite game pathfinder kingmaker when they have you attack water elementals and they
kill you i might get a random encounter like is it time for huge water elementals it's time for you
i'm gonna do something so either secretly 800 million iq genius okay or dumb as oh here we go
mlg no scope let's let's do it breaching into my pocket
uh-huh i knew i had these for a reason i raised my hand in the air
and i'm gonna throw kelp chops at the tree
it doesn't move what oh
it's a tree billy what if it does
we can just go home it's okay guys we can just end it here no i'm gonna kill this stupid thing i'm
gonna keep throwing bombs out until we can restart the episode we are in a perfect position we can
cheese this encounter it can't possibly fly i was thinking in my head oh an acrobatics check
well no tree is gonna have a good acrobatics it'll take this one one sec one sec one sec for like
viewers here i i'm gonna re-share the artwork and i just want to be like i threw caltrops that'll deal
with this yeah but you're gonna play jacks with them
it'll never see it coming i believe that all right
no no no no no no no no this is a learning opportunity hold on hold on hold on this is a
learning opportunity do it and we'll see what thurston says happens yeah yeah yeah yeah of course
course we have the opportunity because if it can reach us i'm gonna just throw a coring charge at
it and then have it blow up to death and if it can't reach us this is an excellent opportunity for
us to experiment with all of our attacks to see what's effective yeah i mean very for when one is
in range i i've thrown these caltrops to prevent uh other people from uh being tempted to uh jump the tree
um uh uh i'm gonna spend my turn i have another action uh i don't have a cast uh shield i guess okay
okay so move caltrops and shield all right this is i tennheiser does the big big damage
oh you turn it you turn into i don't remember what his name is but it's like the the marvel
character is just like a white ghost and he says random bullshit go that's that's how i feel right
so what square are you putting the caltrops in the water
yeah yeah he's like oh the top left just fuck them fish yeah can i can i uh i almost
fucking indicated on which which stream that's how on my egg it's all right where the tree is
okay okay so you're tossing them so you want to make an attack roll because normally if you read
the caltrops description you place them in an empty adjacent square to you
but if you want to throw them i'll allow it but you have to give me an attack
uh you know what i make some of those okay i'm just gonna make a normal strike with my excuria church
sure
i mean
what the caltrops thurston
we have to see what happens now
one sec this gives me a moment what happens when you critically hit by throwing caltrops at an
immobile enemy do we have we have we realized unstoppable force versus a movable object
one sec there's something i desperately need to check because it will be very important to the
ongoing what's happening here you see everything in this world is just a pawn in my game every step
forward every misstep back it's all been
how good ten hazard throws jumping jacks at him
i know what to do here men and i just throw a fucking it it um it takes it take it is persistently
bleeding i will count the persistent bleed as bleed two what does it bleed one yes yes
that's the power of caltrops you got logged down power of calcium now we're all missing you
were kicked from the game for too many too many active hitboxes the the the caltrops like pierce
at the exact points it's like it's like tanhauser is some kind of you know expert marksman with
caltrops hitting every point of the roots and and and the trunk where it needs to impede the
movement of this and cause it to weep out sap it has the bleed to persistent damage and its movement
speed is reduced by 10 feet until the bleed it is gone so wait wait hold on a second its movement
speed has been reduced by 10 feet to a total of what thurston
i don't want to answer that question if it's not zero i'll be surprised no comments so thurston yes
um in warhammer fantasy fantasy if you bring someone's characteristic to zero they die
and if it's no no no no we're done i'm like next next next person's action the tree all right
tree show me your next move oh wait
we're learning valuable information for the next fight we have with one of these it shakes and hurls
bones at you uh it'll hit you tanhauser and it will do
17 points of damage with the first attack of its bones as it like begins shaking and tossing bones
at you
oh ah these bones
they're breaking my bones
oh oh oh these bones
it does it again
it'll also hit you
hey he's got you more bones put shield on hold up hey you didn't put shield up
yeah yeah yeah
yeah she cast it and you have to drag it on your character you got dragging a little back yeah
yeah yeah you got it yeah and then drag the effect wow you know good job we landed thank you pilot
and everybody clap okay so the the second one doesn't hit i'll spend a villain point okay
all right nope i'll miss even more what a shame you're fucking good
okay is it done no oh he's moving
it moves hold on to the water it should be reduced it is it is it moved five feet
hold on hold on okay okay listen listen thurston it's a big creature the osseo groves turn
oh hold on hold on hold on hold on it moved into the square it was already at because it's so
large it's everyone's sick i'm just going to apply the 12 points of damage from the ongoing fire
effect and then the one point or two points of bleed damage from the bleed effect both of which are
still ongoing um thank you thank you this is my life
pick turn will spend one action to they find out to maintain um well pick turn squelchfoot will
maintain one or we'll spend one action to maintain the inspiration and then we'll we'll cast a spell
uh we'll uh we'll cast soothe uh which will let's see here cast some healing uh boop
um yeah let's do this uh it's a second level too so it's gonna be another one d10 plus four
so he's going to heal uh oran for uh 21 points and bring oran back to consciousness yeah
well in here have the soothe effect or you also get that thanks uh for those so so basically he's
like a picture and slio going on by pipes and then like as as he's you know taking a break and not
breathing and kind of cheta oh hey you know i had a brother who took a fall like that it was some you
know you got this though or you're good you're good you're doing fine friend and then he has to
like before he can like stop or continue going on on his story he has to go back to the bagpipes which
prevents him from talking um but he does cast the soothe spell which uh for those of you who are
listening is a bard uh or an occult magic spell that is a an occult healing which bards can do that
grants uh basically one d10 plus four hit points per level so in this case it gives him a 2d uh 2d 10 plus
eight uh it also gives a uh the the person who receives it in this case oran a plus two status
bonus against mental effects for the duration so if this tree has any kind of mental spells that might
be useful the tree does not have mental spells baldrick you're up i'm gonna keep going i'm doing
three more attacks at this thing actually so did you did you come to a determination what may i
maybe with a hero point huck a coring charge at it okay so i was i was checking the um the the coring
charge here um so you i would allow you to to huck it but it would be a two action um
two action thing to do because you it's a two action to activate it so if you're going to huck
it it's going to be a two action as well so wait so clarify that it is two actions to prepare and then
throw it the the normal coring charge to activate it would be like two actions i will allow you to
throw it because it's adding in the chance of this thing could miss or whatever um but but it will
still be two actions so it's like using the coring charge will be two actions to throw it and see if
it affects it and it remember that it detonates at the end of your next turn well that's perfectly fine
by me okay so it would cost me my whole turn to prepare a coring charge and then throw it yes
fine by me okay so what i'm gonna do is i'm going to prepare a large bag filled with
fucking explosive stuff you guys can all see me doing this i do not there you are i craft myself
a coring charge for free i am now going to strike you with a coring charge
let's hope this works now i would like to narratively declare thurston yes using my
singular hero quest yes hero point hero quest point yes that when i throw it i am trying to
snag it on the naughty bramble that is beneath this thing so it wherever it moves it has the coring charge
with it i will allow that absolutely okay mark me down a hero point please the door man
now i just have to hope that my strike works yes we have i have nothing left to gain go
that's a 20 with a 30 critical hit a natural 20 the coring charge lands in the trunk of this thing
as like the roots begin to move around it almost like caressing hugging this thing close to it uh
the fact that it's a critical is going to have two effects one it's going to do critical damage
and two um it's going to waste its reaction attacking of opportunity and your coring charge
thinking it's some foreign object and it's actually going to cause it to explode on this round as well
oh at the end of my turn yeah exactly so the critical effect with your narrative declaration
here is that you are going to do uh in this case it will be
eight d8 fire damage so to this thing i think you can just click the critical button i think we
got that right in there but if not we'll so my turn will now end yeah but you you do the damage
now because it explodes yeah uh-huh so let's let's see how that much happens
i'd only did four so i need to do additional 48 no no no it times it by two it's okay good
so it did 30 30 fire damage which will translate to 40 fire damage because of the weakness it has
excellent explode uh yes sorry not 70 i don't know that's entirely too it is entirely entirely too much
um one sec here i just yeah when you do the shift like then you just add the bonus no no no i i
mucked up okay all right it's your turn oh well well no no no no no i would be uh i had to uh
yeah no you're dead oh yeah yeah because you technically would have moved in initiative before the
the grove man right there yeah um however uh the so yeah it'll actually go to uh
rahua um uh the the the as the tree explodes um
eh eh oh whoops not not 44. kill him kill him uh no um tenhauser tenhauser you take uh four points
of fire damage from the resulting explosion because you are in the range of the coring charge detonating
yeah regrettably i cannot shape charge a coring charge that just kind of blows up so you take
some like shrapnel as you see this like massive explosion in the chest cavity of this strange tree
hey ferris ferris baldrick's also in the range yeah hit me with that i'm okay with that oh yeah yeah
that's true that's true tadhauser yes i can the pain is worth it i need you to finish that sentence
wait one sec one sec one sec uh actually i will spend a villain point and the cow chops will fly
out of the explosion and impact themselves into tana's i'm not actually doing this um
no you have three of the fucking things i'm happy with where i'm at with my villain points thank you
very much i'm going to use them to re-roll up a lot of attacks soon um rahua you're up
so question just making sure i'm understanding this this entity correctly yes considering dealing
damage to the tree also deals damage rather doing damage to the skeletons also damage free
would it be fair to assume or suggest that the tree skeleton
okay are you wanting to are you wanting to shake some bones i am i am wanting to shake some bones
yeah i i think you can abs i i will i will say that yes this plant has a skeleton thank you i am so glad
you confirmed that so rahua is gonna stretch his hand out towards this tree uh splay his fingers apart
and he's gonna cast bone shaker yeah and i'm gonna cast the three action version of this
oh do you wanna do you wanna tell the class what that does sure so the three action version same as
the two action which painfully compresses the target's bones and deals 3d8 bludgeoning damage
acts the same as the two action plus i pull the target's body by their bones moving them around
like an awkward marionette using the same rules for forced movement sweet okay i have to make a save
uh what it's a fortitude i think i'm checking for you i think it's a fortitude which is okay for this
thing but i'm gonna give it a minus four circumstance penalty because of the smart smart move of bones
um so let's see if that will work here um minus four a modifier it made of bones okay uh and let's see how
this works okay so it will succeed but it's not a crit success or anything like that so on a success uh
uh yeah uh you can move the target up to five feet move it back five feet that's exactly what i'm going to
do i'm going to push it away five feet as in but a film just swift one swift motion yeah the
skeletons rib cages within all the roots gnarled within raise up and move apart for just a second and
then just shatter into breaking branches in the process or roots rather give me give me the damage
give me the dimaggio yeah
cool takes half of that there is there we go very good or because it is bludgeoning damage uh no it
basically has resistance against slashing and piercing but it takes regular damage from bludgeoning yeah
yeah so all right that's it for uh that's it for you oh that was oh yeah because you did the reaction
yeah okay cool all right uh that brings us to tan hauser man hauser so it was pushed back taking the
damage from the caltrops again yeah it's basically like it was coming into the water ominously towards
you and then it got pushed back um it i'm not counting it to damage from the caltrops because the caltrops
are embedded in it and that's what's slowing it right now oh man there goes my plan oh oh no i can
no longer whittle it down i know my my caltrop the caltrops are still bleeding it though so it's still
affected by them let me see this is all my plan this is all my doing okay um i think it's time
that we say goodbye to this horrible beast so i'm gonna dimensional assault oh okay this is an
excellent idea please fall on the water i'm here will you say that i would be able to land on their
beautiful leaves um i okay okay normally you can't just like occupy the same space as a thing
but i will i will say um you can certainly try to land on top of it i will allow you to um
give me a reflex save to do so the dc will be 20 very kind of you if you fail you will be knocked prone
adjacent to it oh okay maybe new plan maybe the plan is if i'm in the water can i hit him still
yeah of course there is no more dimensional salt there is just water actually what am i doing i'm
an idiot i don't know what you're doing anymore what are you doing what are you doing i could just
i could just jump across and get over here and swim here
yes i'm gonna do that okay you're you're you so you're physically moving you're not teleporting
i'm not teleporting i'm physically moving okay um and we have determined it has used its reaction to
crush the bomb so it can't take an attack of opportunity on you yes good i'm moving into
the same space as the thing which nearly killed oran in one attack now you're thinking like tannhauser
um bad don't do that i think it's and now i'm gonna spell try spells flap spell strike god i can't
speak today so how many actions was it for you to move through that difficult water terrain i have a 30
uh move speed oh wait yeah oh yeah oh my god difficult terrain exists yes so maybe i should teleport into the
water okay we're teleporting on the water okay thank you thurston all right now we're gonna hit him
okay all right here we go machine folks here we go
you'll hit him 28 awesome uh let's rock some damage uh that plus one so seven
um okay it does no damage well because it resists slashing so you get your magic you got magic that
is correct because it was really just vector from my true attack which is of course produced flame
yeah absolutely let's rock some damage on this
yeah all right um well uh that brings us to oran oran you're up
yeah aren't out a bad time though he takes an action to stand up it sucks man
fuck you tree produce flame
okay cast a produce flame at the tree stands up produce flame
i don't have any hero bites man and then that's the end of his turn
oh i'm all right well let's let us find out together chat if the urndale prophecy holds true of
one one tannhauser came right next to this tree
all right tree is gonna go first off it's gonna uh it's gonna hit you with its roots
well hold on hold on hold on hold on before it does that yeah i am in water yes that should make
it relatively difficult to hit me yes no all right that's all i got kill me
you're not under the water jimmy
he'll hit you like you're like maybe like how deep is he is it like shin height
i think like waste i think waste in fact that would make you easier to hit honestly yes
yeah actually i'm a penalty i don't know about that i don't know about that
spend you know what 500 no no no they're they're they're really that makes a lot of sense actually
like you wouldn't be as dexterous like what's your dex bonus right now that your ac here let's find out
i don't know because you know that extra two points would really matter when it comes to if
i create you or not well i would ever not
what did you ever think we were where were you on the night of the 13th here's my question is this
a is this a salt water or fresh water it's a rack of my ac to the matter is it rabbit season or duck season
okay i'm gonna do 17 points of damage with the first root attack i'll allow it okay cool
i'm gonna make i'm gonna make another root attack on you just for that such things are possible
such things happen i'm gonna crit you with that
those things are impossible that's a lot of damage i'm gonna do 44 points of damage to you all right
then it's gonna use his last action to grab you okay i'm now unconscious you're now dying too by the
way not him no no no he's dying one this is the first time he's gone down oh crit that's right yeah
yeah correct thing thank you yes absolutely good call all right cool and then uh is also grabbed all
right all right now do do do damage over time to this fucker oh yeah yeah no no no now that that's
done now the turn ends um so he fails both so that the persistent damage is still going on so he will
take uh 12 from your fire and then an extra uh two points from the critical bleeding there we go
tree's still up barely it's looking terrible it's charred it's burned it's most of the bones have
been knocked off of this but there it is there it is all right uh pick turn squilch what's gonna go
oh gosh what the fuck can poor picture and do to help you keep up the fucking inspiration and shut up
he could heal me that's exactly what i'm seeing if he can do um he can heal you right in range of
it again where it will presumably beat you to death if i manage to miss i could heal him oh oh you
know what course i'm gonna of course i'm gonna heal my good friend tan hauser he's been so nice hey tan
hauser you're doing you're doing great i think you got it exactly where you need it to be
and then you you return back to the realm of the living um
yeah dead uh no you don't uh it's the opposite uh no wounded too and you might need to move him above
the tree yeah i have to have to shimmy him towards being annoying no no no this is good because this is
a lot it is it is it is i'm like trying to narrate everything too all right so then tan hauser moves
from the tree um all right tan hauser is no longer dying yay hooray uh but but tan hauser is still
grabbed by the tree which is the uh the terrifying thing i'll tell you something thurston yes your bark is
worse than your bite you don't have bon mo yeah i'm sorry sorry yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry that no
thank you for making it a good job friend tan hauser you did a good job
i did i remember how it goes back if you were gonna get up close why didn't you just wait until my
next turn so i could have strapped a coring charge to you because i thought i would kill it in a single
attack and it'd be very cool and i have slightly higher accuracy and melee this is very true
and very tragic you've learned for next time that suicide i appreciate yeah i have learned
nothing consequences are for other people in any event i'm now going to throw three bombs at this
thing in the hopes that i can kill it before it destroys tan hauser's life absolutely please do
all right i still have five alchemist fires left so if we somehow flub this i'll target tan hauser and
put him out of his misery good good good all right here we go listen i know that's how he'd want to go
out boiling no i can always count on you urndil to set me on fire when i'm down i know my friend
anyway i attack the tree that's another critical hit please with a 31 please roll your critical dick
god damn holy shit that's a big number that's 24 damage oh 34 because of the yeah the extra fire explosion yes
the tree collapses under the pursued bombardment of baldrick and its roots let go of of greedy greedy
tan hauser who falls into the water saved by baldrick tan hauser is now going to recreate uh baby
moses and float down the river like if you're going down the river and you become unconscious can
you have like that like snake eater scene and you just like why are there more of them some days you
have to feed on a tree frog all right so thurston i see the two approaching me i attack this one as
well as you look as you look at every other tree here and they're all awesome gross no no
when hell is full the trees will the living oh no yeah now you're really embracing pathfinder
kingmaker here that would be an actual encounter i would head i would choke slam you oh wow
uh would you do the same thurston well i mean i would i would i would just be rolling a lot of glass
him max good all right so tan hauser you are you are like you you are able to to to get up and breathe
the the the bagpipe music stops as um as as picture and squilch foot finishes up um
um the shield uh the shield uh the shield expires as well all of the the buffs have expired well
well that was a that was a situation yeah it was
i take the uh the staff out of the people's loot and help
barge dredge to tan hauser back to the bank so
pick turn comes up scratches it so i mean i don't i don't mean to question things but but but
my my friend tan hauser why why did you have to go in there like it looked like baldrick's
bombs were doing pretty okay he couldn't move your your caltrops had slowed him down
you want to know why because i wanted to prove that even without me
he my my companions could take care of the the tree they could they i'm they could deal with the
tree i'm leaving now right um i'm gonna wait back or in case speak to you a little bit just over by
this other tree that's not nausea gruff just just one sec real quick i just i want to talk to you real
quick that'd be a minute can i speak to you too come over here friend okay sure oh i'm not moving i'm
targeting you hey by the way well while they're doing that can i inspect the burning like combusting
osseogrow for alchemical reagents absolutely we will get to that in just a second at the inspection
and thank you thank you um all right all right so like like or oran and ruhua like you come up to
picture and who's under this tree all right friends i think i think tan hauser has a death wish i think
we might need some kind of intervention no that's just how he acts all the time yeah that's not
that's not that's not normal but he could have died you saw that you saw what that thing did to oran
oran had no idea what was going on well i mean he did have an idea do you have a death wish oran i
hope not oh please no we might need to have an intervention for you oh oh oh well okay uh anyways
i mean tan hauser certainly didn't he went over there and we like we we got we we shouldn't let
him do that that that could end badly well well picture him you were telling well are an amazing
spider-man has put his hand on his shoulder and go like called ruler cool you should learn that if
you want to be an adventurer later peace and he leaves oh my god might i point things in a more
articulate form that or it may have just explained to you we do things a little bit
differently and outset something your trying folk may not quite understand
and he walks away
like like like he's just stammering but i just i don't want i i don't want people to die i like
i like people you know i just don't want to hear him stammering for this explanation
oh yeah yeah he's like standing there like i just don't want people who his head cracks
back 180 degrees and his body he begins moving backwards his body follows suit and begins walking
back towards him and he stares down at little pick turn you don't want people to die but this group
knows more than anyone else that death is not the end
you you may not be chosen and we will keep you alive but remember that and he'll
he'll scooch down just a little bit and pat him on the head and turn back around and say let's go
and walk back towards the rest of them can you give me an intimidate check please
oh yes give the shit into him that fucking killed him just kill him out here we intimidate
oh 13 okay yes that was very strange all right thank you
um so with that you you cross like the the the tree continues to burn for several rounds before
eventually it um it is collapsed by the by by the stream um the rest of you manage
to to cross uh even picturn who floats across using a magic disc um as we're baldrick was that
because i just like to battlefield medicine me and hauser i'll just do oh yeah yeah absolutely
absolutely after you departed and gone to the other side absolutely i would also like to help heal
fucking oran too yeah well see see how the battlefield medicine for oran goes and then anything else um
and uh but baldrick can you give me a perceptice because i know you were wanting to look for
reagents and whatnot as well just a perception yeah yep okay one sec
rolling perception
uh 14 okay um um all right so you don't find much of um like you don't find much in terms of
alchemicals that are salvageable from this thing but what you do find of note are uh it is a set of
armor that is located like deep within which would have been probably near where the um
um where where the explosion occurred uh and it looks like it's it's charred from the corning charge
and like the fire that consumed this thing but otherwise it looks like it's very very well preserved
it appears to be a set of uh leather armor with studs in it
is it like scorched from the impact or like it looks like they're like the fire washed over this
but didn't destroy it in fact it looks like almost pristine just barring some like soot and scorch
on the end hmm i will provided everything around it is dead okay we'll try to nab it
yeah you can pull it out it it's very light it feels really good in fact as you pull it out of this
thing um like the the the brand like the i should say the roots and the like remaining skeletal pieces
sort of like combust into dust but this thing is pristine cool i will identify this later because
i presume it is magical to have avoided getting blown up quite this hard as you as you do grab it you also
like hear a jingling in a pocket in in the armor i picked through the pocket what do i get there is a
there is an alchemical potion inside of it it is a blue liquid potion that as you pull it out like
this is a vial of blue liquid that looks like it's equally preserved in here powerade
yes now i will try to identify that yeah you can give me a crafting check for that
i will use chemical savant to give myself an additional two yes good good
that will be a 28 this is a moderate potion of swimming which i will add to the people's loot
interesting not overtly useful right now but i assure i assume it will be very useful for the
swimming section we will have coming up now it's for the beach episode
um i rolled a 15 and a medicine healed myself for eight so if you want to go and take care of
10 houses i'll let you do that sure thing
i'll add the still your roll add the like armor to the to the people's loot as well we'll identify
that later i got that in mind yeah i have added the unusual studded leather
that being said if there are any snippings of this thing that are sorry good that's my 29 for battle
medicine oh damn i think that's a that's a crit yeah i see that's correct yeah 48 roll 48
48 damage uh heals tanhouser heels what tiny uh if i can thirst yes i would like to see if there
are any snippings of this plant that i can collect that will not grow back into a horrible bone tree
but just something i can you know take back and study back at home when i could eventually get back
there yeah there's like like small pieces and whatnot just nothing you're like confident you
could make alchemicals out of but you might i'm not gonna do that anymore i gave up on that
no no no but yeah there you can definitely like take some like snippings of this thing and
yeah absolutely
um but you come on the other side and you can um like for who it takes you a few moments to sort
of catch your bearings but you can say that the the path sort of like begins to do a bit of almost
like a a u like you're you're continuing southeast but you can tell that the path of these these objects
almost starts to veer um northeast a little bit probably like this little this little section of
the stream might have been you know a lake or you know a river at that time so it's difficult to tell
but the the path you've been following for this discarded um this discarded equipment is sort of veering
a little bit up now interesting it seems as if whoever was following the path of combat down here
was almost going as i circle i'm not sure if that will help us hone in on where exactly these ruins
are or if maybe they just got lost on the way to them but i would keep in mind if they do end up
returning us more or less to where we started i would advise that we move inward rather than
following the path alone i might have something that could help us
and i'm going to reach down and i'm going to pull out my compass
utilizing magnetic fields we can determine the direction in which we're traveling while i myself
am not much of a navigator i purchased this tool specifically so that someone cannier than me
might use it to foil any such wandering roads
uh and i'll post what the combat does in the main chat well um i guess i guess i i i'm not really
that good at that kind of stuff you know i could kind of maybe play around with it might know a thing
or two i'm not i'm a bit of a role would you make to use it exactly well i'm not much of a survivalist
myself i've got a little bit i dabble and survive i could take a little little poke poke at it try
and helps okay so wait what is what is so thurston what is sense navigator sense direction
survive it's basically to prevent you get from getting lost which is a check at the end of your
explorations you would you would need um like after basically spending a day doing them um so
this kind of is works pretty well here so if you want to make that check now or and just to make sure
you haven't completely lost your way here yeah revival check god i'm rolling terribly today i got
five so 18 total okay yeah um it's like you're you're not lost by any means um though you are sort of
looking around and like okay you you know generally your area you you aren't like you know off the
beaten path or whatnot um however you're not going to have much in terms of uh additional areas to uh
like to explore or you know get back to camp very easily you can tell if you go back to camp you might
not be able to find this location again so your best bet is to carry on just for a bit to maybe find
this landmark that uh we're who is leading you towards
almost like a plan
okay um
yeah yeah all right look it's so
that's it this orange is gonna keep trodding on keep looking forward
keeping an eye out yeah okay it doesn't take long before the the path does a bit of a of a curve
up uh like like i say north like starts going a bit to the east then then north then north then flat
north and then almost a bit arcing to the west as you come across a a land that is slightly elevated above
others here um it looks like there's some some hills that have been conjoined together
um but through the fog which is now mostly parted in this region
you spot a landmark something that stands out in the distance
an immense silver cube that is about a hundred feet on its sides
is partially embedded in the ground here
if you have religion you may give me
a recall knowledge check for religion
how how the
the fuck did they manage to miss a hundred foot size
cube of silver
time cube
yeah time cube
yeah they're educated stupid
yeah
what's that he points to giant cube
ah time cube
oh time cube cool
it's the time cube we've all seen it
what would a religion check make turns to audience
it's good
instead of looking at audience the camera shifts to rahua
huh huh
okay
he's desperately opening character sheets trying to find the
how the spectators in my head and the unknowable prying eyes of the cosmos i will
tell you what it means
i will cry
what will a 25 tell me about the time cube
um
well
this isn't a time cube
this is the thing that you now realize has been causing your absolute distress and
now it turns to the closest thing you might have to anger which is this is the study time cube
this is some sort of architecture related to the fundamental power of the perfection
the embodiment of law
this is like a perfection building that has landed in this swamp at some point or been constructed here or anything
um
it is like the perfection is the
like
anathematic um opposite of
the anarchy it is law it is it is perfection it is the embodiment of law
um and so it is like fundamentally opposite to your own being
oh dear
this
this is not a time cube and i'm sad to say
no this
this
offensive architecture
was wrought by the perfection
the fact that it is here in the material plane is not only an affront to all things
that exist
but also a means of concern
no this
is as lawful and law oriented as one might get
take for example all of all of nature or and if i might put it in terms you may understand
nature is the ever
flowing
tide of entropy
the chaos of life and death in perfect harmony a dance without any sort of rhythm rhythm or sense
yet it all works out and meshes together the perfection is the antithesis of this it is
senseless order to an inherently unorganized and disarrayed cosmos it is
sick a perversion of things that should or should not be and yet it is here
the question is why
you got uh lore warfare that'd be pretty cool to use here
i will roll it yeah you may you may you may do better than that that i would
baldrick has no fucking understanding of this stuff
all right all right mr mr tanhauser you this like all kind of clicks into place as this is being
explained by your companion this cube is a siege tower uh outset through its many thousands of years of
existing has been conquered and um led by various warlords various types uh in older in older times
um like fundamental powers even like outsiders from the fundamental battlefield would come to the
material plane come on to tyne and they would conquer the city um you've you've heard like examples of this
before uh particularly like the the idea that the city was at one point like run by like a beneficite
or like a fey power had taken over this uh this cube would have been like when the perfectites
laid siege to the city and was probably an outpost they had in like bygone eras when they actually like
were actively besieging it
i see
and so this gives me the sense that this is a siege tower sent in by
the perfect reality by people sieging outside yeah yeah like like essentially like an outsider from
like the the perfect portion of the fundamental battlefield um like a a vestige of the of the
great perfection um like like like you would uh um in a standard cosmology like how there are like
demons or devils in the abyss there there are perfectites that are in like you know outsiders aligned
with with law and one of them could be particularly powerful and something akin to a warlord that
might have just tried to conquer the city in like ages past
hmm i see
this is not merely an example of your perfectite architecture
this is a weapon of war
a siege tower from ages past led by your mortal enemies to attempt to take outset of this land or
wherever else and take it into their organized fold
it would make sense then that the siege outset for it is far more chaotic than
any natural form would make sense they would want to bring it into their fold to organize some
nightmare perfect gemini nevertheless
it's been inert for some time has it not if it has been in some bygone age it's been left since
this is going on i assume you're like continuing your approach towards it yeah
okay um given the size like you're approaching again heading sort of northwest um i will just
describe as as rahua you were you were continuing this just to give you an idea um the the cube itself
is at an angle fallen into the swamp um in fact at its current angle it almost looks a bit rectangular
um just because of where it has fallen because part of it is also uh in the water of like a nearby
not not like a lake but just a body of water here um the sides of it have like even liquid and rain water
streaking down them along the way there is a procession of um like dozens of um
floating like metal like metal pyramids they they they they're they're silver metal similar to
that of the cube they're about the size of like the size of a of a human but they float in the air
and at this point um tanhauser your your detect magic is certainly going off um you're getting like
very light uh transmutation magic which would explain like the floating that's happening with these
um and they appear to just sort of float in the air um almost like a procession way towards uh towards
the cube which you can like make your way towards and there's more like trees and whatnot and as you
were getting closer you're seeing that one of the corners of the cube is actually cracked open uh and
there is like a hole in the side of it uh that's that leads its way uh like inside this cube
do we think that it's worth it to try to investigate even the size you would guess it's pretty big on the
inside it's very big it's very funny to me how everyone keeps missing this thing whoa like i i should
clarify it's like 100 feet on sides but it's also like well embedded into the ground so it's not it's not
particularly high and it's on it's on a high point that's already kind of obscuring it
could this be the ruin that they search for
thinking it might be that makes sense why they'd be searching for it too
it's per se if it's from the perfection realm and it's a siege weapon as you say it are they might be
interested in co-opting it brahua i believe it best that we tend to our wounds i sense that we are
likely to find a harrowing encounter within knowing our luck i would be inclined to agree with you
these constructs do not often remain inert for long and even so may have latent security measures
they are not that which i truly understand but i can scarcely grasp what kind of
arcane energies might leap forth should we try to disturb it so we best be prepared if we go inside
i say we set up camp here baldrick you and our halfling friend should go and find the bodyguards and
bring them here we may enter this place in force
how to say we may as well just bring the camp forward exactly
all right fine as as you you have this discussion you see something come out of the hole in the corner
it is a child-sized floating piece of metal um and it looks like
well it's it's hard to describe it has circles at either end of it and then it it has like a cylinder
connecting them and then it looks as though it's um almost like like just patterns going through it
um this like extremely like well polished perfect piece of just floating metal
it has kind of like a corkscrew yeah like sense to the center of it between these these two things
and it floats and it's just like floating out of out of the wound in the side of this immense like metallic cube
um
i guess looking at it i'm gonna just observe it
you know i'm not exactly just gonna go up and smash it without knowing what it is so just keep an eye on it
it's floating
um if you have religion or a kana you can give me a check on this thing
a 26
i assume we all see this right oh yeah we just don't know all what it is i don't have either of
those things yeah as they're making a check someone will look at it like how's that thing guys um yeah
you have no idea tenhouser you critically succeed uh you recognize this as a type of perfectite um
a lesser type of perfectite called a particulum uh they are uh like typically when like things like
like out outside entities from the fundamental battlefield get summoned this is one of the
more common types um you know that these are notable for their ability to sort of like adjust
their shape um like quickly shift on the fly like many um perfectites can um they also have this um
sort of like sort of strange uh ability in that
that they speak the language of perfection which not everyone can understand you have to like
take the language but they they can cast spells and their spells will affect you even if you don't
understand their language they are very good at like commanding um and have a a sort of um
um a nature of commanding others and or just like taking over small areas um but like they're also
very lesser too like they might like you know come into a small village and like take over because it's
a bunch of commoners um to someone of your elk you'd know this thing is like not not too much of a
threat like you've got some pretty smart egos in the party you could probably resist this but even still
it could be the type that could like come in and dominate you um not dominate but command you i
should say you can ask me two questions about this thing okay um how many hit points does it have
um i can give you in the area of like it's probably in like the 40s 40s okay and typically how many of them
operate at once like are they kind of solitary creatures do they work in packs um it it varies
like if they're summoned it's usually like a single entity um but in a situation like this they could
just be almost like overseers or defense units uh because when they're they're used as part of like
the perfect um the the like you know that i should say the perfect organism that is the perfection when
they you know go to war or go to battle um each each sort of different type of perfect site has a
role these ones are often used for mundane grunt work they can like they can go into melee and and and
such but they will generally operate alone if they were summoned but in a situation like this there could
be a few of them see beware this thing is a parasite they embed themselves into communities into the weak of
willed and sometimes even the strong of willed puppeteers and defense mechanisms be wary
it floats
i think uh it would probably be wise for us to make our camp a little ways off just so the perfectites
don't float out like they are right now and then just decide to come up with us
so i think we'll start moving back yeah okay yeah as we're moving out can i do a survival shape to
find like a good secure absolutely you can yeah all right roll survival yeah i saw that 19 and it
left me with the nine 22 total okay um yeah so that's that's still enough for you to find like a
a good location nearby um and yeah quite honestly like you you've got a you've got a a pretty pretty
good sense of like okay we can we can set up camp over here um you know how to sort of trek back to
find vali and the others um though it may take you know it may may take a couple hours to like get all
that working but yeah um you'll be able to set up camp just outside this this rune and then figure out
where uh where to go from there but you you do find like a basically like a raised area that
not overlooks the cube but gives you at least advantage to it you can see that the particulums uh
aren't aren't really um causing any issues right now so like they're they're not messing with you sort of
thing um but yeah yeah or looks to pan house and balder he's like well no valleys away and stuff but
what i could do i could get a call on a bird and leave a message with it so we could fly off to valley
and tell the catch up with us we can take this on together yes yes i plan yeah we can do that sit down
and we could just sit here and wait so we can admittedly given the state of things around here
i kind of wish we had some more heavy with us yeah i don't think those two bodyguards and volley are
going to be really enough i'll go ahead and get the message ready what do you want to tell her mr tan
tell her that we may have found the root of the martinet's madness and she should prepare herself
okay so oren would um as we rest and stuff uh i have to get to the whole spell this thing but
pretty much just doing the animal messengers that fell and sending it off to uh basically to contact
wherever valley is with them yeah and uh i think we can also just set up camp here uh get everything
kind of prepped like i'm currently at wounded three so if i get messed up at all yeah i'm gonna die so
i think it's good to just kind of like we can like stop here and basically be like okay cool let me let's
rest let me get rid of all my wounded conditions get everyone healed up prep to go into the thing and
then uh absolutely valley and everything else so i think that could be a a good thing oh yeah
absolutely i think this is a great point you've sort of identified the runes i've updated the map
what i'm gonna do is i'm generally just gonna put little um little tokens on the map just so you would
know like oh there is a thing and it's in this general area of the hex um so i've done that here
as well so we've got the um the little perfectite symbol and we know that the runes are right there so
now our our intradestined band will rest up we'll get volley and the uh the dita back yes
i cast a protector tree and i tape a dagger to him and go all right look over us while we're resting
and then i oh and i'm gonna i'm gonna make a cabin because i can do that yeah but texture
should be in front of the cabin with a knife yeah i like that it's very good we we good good teamwork
here cabin um yeah that moment the cabin moment look look no player ever really takes a cabin spell
but like god they're great all right uh but yeah i think i think um we'll we'll we'll call it there a
bit of an early session today but we didn't have i have our dear our dear friend uh odo roshi with us
but also we've uh set ourselves up also you know i should have murdered um tanhizer with that tree and
i'm i'm really bitter about that but why didn't you well because um you were a fool you fool so true
if i got like two crits on you though that would have been oh yeah no that's fair
but it's bad from orange mistakes that's right well then we're gonna call it there i think
shorter session today but i'm okay with that yeah it's a short session uh and everything else
because uh you have to i i have to run i i have a i have a thing i have to run to which is nice that
we can skedaddle a bit early because then i won't feel like oh god everything's on fire
yeah so it's a short session everybody uh due to we didn't have a break though so yeah yeah yeah we
wanted we wanted to kind of like conclude some of the stuff but we didn't want odo to like miss
out on the whole thing or whatever at least wanted you to get some stuff and everything so uh
i hope you guys have a wonderful time thank you so much hokey arundale speaker and thurston for
joining us today thank you chat for uh watching enjoying everything if you uh want to ever help
out the streams and stuff like that please uh tell everybody that we exist share funny clips
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them to our patreon patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration along with telling them all that uh
we do go live our our stream schedule is there also remember september 10th is going to be another
big fun little session within next week of outset yep next week so this is there on saturday and uh
thank you everyone for listening on podcast everything else i hope you guys have a wonderful day so long
goodbye goodbye goodbye everybody bye bye goodbye everyone
the dark goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye
um
so
you
Thank you.