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The Moonshots Podcast goes behind the scenes of the world's greatest superstars, thinkers and entrepreneurs to discover the secrets to their success. We deconstruct their success from mindset to daily habits so that we can apply it to our lives. Join us as we 'learn out loud' from Elon Musk, Brene Brown to emerging talents like David Goggins.
00:00:10:02 - 00:00:40:20
Unknown
Hello and welcome to the Moon Shop Podcast. Episode 232. That's a lot. I'm your co-host, my passenger. And as always, I'm joined by Mr. Mark Freeland. Good morning, Mark. Hey, good morning, Mike. Good morning. Moonshots, family members, numerous listeners as well as moonshot viewers. Mike, we're up to a pretty exciting time in show number 232nd installment of the Mel Robbins series.
00:00:40:20 - 00:01:04:12
Unknown
And boy, she's just a little surprising, isn't she? That's right. Last time we dug into Mel Robbins, his book, The Five Second Rule, which really brought to life this idea, Mike, of acting, you know, this idea of delaying decision making too long. Now it diving into another book of Mel Robbins, which is stop saying you'll find the no B.S. guide to getting what you want.
00:01:04:14 - 00:01:25:24
Unknown
And, Mike, we're obviously going to dive into this a lot in today's show. We're going to lean in and really understand that and pull apart the key phrases and ideas that Mel has for us in this evolution. On her five second decision making rules, it's really, again, about taking action. It's really all about being proactive, isn't it? Yeah.
00:01:25:24 - 00:02:00:06
Unknown
And listen, I really believe that we're in a war with self-doubt, indecision, procrastination. Like, I have this feeling that all of our viewers, members and listeners have a sense of who they want to be in life, what they really want to be doing. But the hard part is listening to your intuition, your subconscious, when it speaks to you and taking action.
00:02:00:06 - 00:02:23:05
Unknown
Because often what you are doing today is not really where you want to be tomorrow. So you have to get uncomfortable. And so this whole thing of putting things off, pretending they're not there or I'm too busy, I'll deal with that next week. That is what Mel Robbins has some solutions for. And I think also she's going to give us some tough talk.
00:02:23:06 - 00:02:44:06
Unknown
Mark, I think she's going to kick us out that you know what and say, come on. Stop stuff in Iran. What do you think? Yeah, I think we had a little bit of a taste of Mel Robbins in last week's show. I think the five second and the areas that she would dig into with that rule were a bit of an awakening when they, like, they were telling us, Hey, stop messing around.
00:02:44:08 - 00:03:04:15
Unknown
Just make a decision and get on with it. If you can't make it within 5 seconds. Move on. I think you're right. This week, we're now digging back into this harsh or maybe encouraging rules and laws of Mel Robbins. And I think we've got to kick off strong. So, Mike, why don't I set us up for that first intro clip?
00:03:04:17 - 00:03:18:10
Unknown
Sounds great. Let's get in there. Let's get some tough talk from Coach Mel. Let's get some coach Mel Robbins digging into our first clip and she's all about getting out of our heads.
00:03:18:10 - 00:03:28:17
Unknown
It's very, very simple to get what you want, but it's not easy.
00:03:28:19 - 00:03:54:19
Unknown
You have to force yourself and I mean, force. And the reason why I use the word force when rises up here in talking about the emotion tracking and she had the picture of the two sides of the brain. I look at the brain the exact same way. Only I describe one side of your brain is autopilot, and the other side is emergency brake.
00:03:54:21 - 00:04:22:25
Unknown
That's the only two speed you got. Autopilot, emergency brake. And guess which one your brain likes better? Autopilot. You've had the experience where you've driven to work right? You get there, you're like, oh, my God, I don't remember driving here. You weren't drunk. That was your brain on autopilot. It was functioning just at this level. And the problem with your mind is that any time you do anything that's different from your normal routine, guess what?
00:04:22:25 - 00:04:42:00
Unknown
Your brain does emergency brake. And it has that reaction for everything. Everything. You walk into the kitchen and you see everybody left their breakfast dishes for you and you think for the hundredth time I'm going to kill them. In fact, I'm gonna leave this here and I'm going to make them do it. But that's not your normal routine, is.
00:04:42:02 - 00:04:54:14
Unknown
It's your mind goes emergency brake, and you go right into autopilot. I'll just load it and test, and then I'll have sex.
00:04:54:16 - 00:05:15:05
Unknown
So when I say force anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. And if you think about your life, it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults and we spend so much time trying to push our life into some sort of stable routine, and then we get bored of it.
00:05:15:08 - 00:05:30:08
Unknown
You wake up in, what, the same time every day you have largely the same breakfast. You drive to work the same way you show up at work, you look busy, you avoid making calls, you update Facebook, you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time. You go back and update Facebook. You make plans for the evening. You look busy some more.
00:05:30:13 - 00:05:47:12
Unknown
Then you drive home the same way, largely the same dinner or variety of it. You watch the same kind of media and then you go to bed and do the same thing all over again. No wonder you're bored out of your mind. It's the routine that's killing you. I have this theory about why people get stuck in life.
00:05:47:14 - 00:06:13:19
Unknown
So most of you have probably taken your basic psych one on one class, and you've bumped into Andrew Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Well, your body is kind of cool because you have these basic needs and your body is wired to send you signals if you are hungry or I mean, if you need food, what do you feel? If you need water, what do you feel?
00:06:13:21 - 00:06:42:19
Unknown
If you need sex, what do you feel? Thank you. I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration. Everything about your life, about your body grows, your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails.
00:06:42:19 - 00:07:17:10
Unknown
Everything grows for your entire life and your soul needs exploration and growth. And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable, forcing yourself to get outside out of your head. Thank you. If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines. That is not God talking. It's not. In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself, we would institutionalize you.
00:07:17:12 - 00:07:43:02
Unknown
You would not hang out with people to talk to you the way you talk to yourself. So get out of your head. Your feelings. Your feelings are screwing you. I don't care how you feel. I care about what you want. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it because you will never feel like,
00:07:43:02 - 00:07:49:22
Unknown
Oh, he is dropping some wisdom there, Mark.
00:07:49:24 - 00:08:22:12
Unknown
You know, I think we all have these moments of clarity where we see the path we should take, but it's just hard. It's confronting. You're not sure if you can do it. So your intuition is to defer the discomfort and what the incredible mark is. We have learned from Joe Rogan, David Goggins, Brené Brown, you name it. Serena Williams, Michael Jordan.
00:08:22:14 - 00:08:52:23
Unknown
Just learn to get uncomfortable. Learn to push through your natural desire to stop. Keep running. Keep working. Just don't stop. And at the beginning of all of this is the choice to act. And that's what she's really getting to, is that we're often presented with these feelings, hunches and inklings, and they're an invitation to act. And we decline in them.
00:08:52:25 - 00:09:21:10
Unknown
And because we bury those feelings, we bury those moments because we get uncomfortable, we're almost denying that there was even the chance to do so. And so I think, like, the reality is that many, if not most of us, are a long way off living the life that they would dream of living. Particularly if you if you do the exercise of saying money is not the issue, how would you live your life?
00:09:21:12 - 00:09:44:21
Unknown
To me, that's the ultimate place to be. To be living a life doing today what you would have done if it wasn't a requirement to pay the bills. Yeah. I think what really stands out to me with building on what you're just saying there, Mike, the idea of living, let's call it like a dream, like your perfect life.
00:09:44:23 - 00:10:08:15
Unknown
A life uninterrupted by, you know, the things that you require in order to, I don't know, let's say, forward that you dream things. Instead, what I quite liked about where Mel's taking us is connecting this idea of growth, this idea of challenge, this idea of trying something new as a basic need for us. So similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
00:10:08:17 - 00:10:34:08
Unknown
I think what's quite interesting with that idea, and it's not something that I've necessarily heard from any of our moonshot legends before, actually placing growth and the desire to expose yourself to the challenges. Well, I know. I do know my. What about Carol Dweck? I think she's offering two parts. I think David Goggins is laying two clear paths.
00:10:34:08 - 00:11:05:24
Unknown
Right. Yeah, but I think the thing that Mel does is she almost makes the scientific argument for. Yeah, exactly. I think that's it. This idea that it is a requirement. It is one of the things that we need in our lives to continue growing or to continue getting better, maybe as a step to unlock that. As you were saying, that kind of life uninterrupted or a dream life, you have to go through the process of of being challenged because actually that's what makes things worthwhile by the end, isn't it?
00:11:05:24 - 00:11:31:22
Unknown
Some of the favorite pieces of work that we all do in our life, often to me at least come from the adversity that we faced and overcame in order to get to the end point. You know, let's say, to a project or a campaign of some kind. The ones that are quite challenging and very technical and really require, you know, turning the cogs in your brain are often the ones that are the most fun by the end, don't they?
00:11:31:24 - 00:12:15:02
Unknown
Well, I would even go as far as saying we had a line from David Goggins who gets to this a completely different way than now. And Goggins was like, If you're not growing, you're dying. There's no such thing as just plateauing is okay, no, that's actually you're falling behind. And I truly think that if we develop the capability of when it's hurting, when we're uncomfortable to keep going, what many athletes reveal is that there's always way more athletic capability than what you realize.
00:12:15:04 - 00:12:39:02
Unknown
Like your and your fight or flight kicks in and you want to stop running because you're hot and tired. But actually and, you know, I think a great example of this just to kind of show you how much potential we all have and how important this thinking is from her is there was this famous English runner who you probably remember called Roger Bannister, who ran the first four minute mile.
00:12:39:04 - 00:13:13:14
Unknown
And nobody nobody thought a four minute mile was possible. He did it. And then subsequently, thousands of people have done it ever since. So in the short time, after all these people started running four minute miles because they realized it was possible, everyone thought there was a natural limit. So they gave up and they stopped. And as it as it works for Roger Bannister and the running world, so it runs in life.
00:13:13:16 - 00:13:39:19
Unknown
We're all running. We're all in a competition against life itself. And we have this choice to perceive what's in front of us. Is it time to stop? Give up. Yeah. Or do you embrace the discomfort, all as Brené Brown would say? Do you step into the arena, stop being a spectator, get your ass in there and don't give up.
00:13:39:21 - 00:14:07:24
Unknown
Mm. I find that sometimes getting into that arena can be a little bit of a challenge, particularly, and we've spoken about this on the show before. When you're starting from scratch, you know, let's say you've been a to use Brené Brown's language, a spectator for a long time and you want to try and get into it. I think in similar to the framework that we've got behind us at the moment and for our listeners at home, we're taking a look at the habit loop from Jane's players atomic habits.
00:14:08:00 - 00:14:31:22
Unknown
I think this is a key demonstration and breakdown, Mike, of a way for all of us to begin that first process of getting into that arena to try and, let's say inverted commas better ourselves or maybe get a little bit more comfortable with being uncomfortable, pushing ourselves into that, that new realm of art. And this for us, we've obviously broken this down on the show, the floor.
00:14:31:22 - 00:15:08:21
Unknown
Mike has always been a substantial takeaway for me because he continually repeats itself again and again, doesn't it, similar to what you were just saying, If you put it in your routine, let's say something you do every day. It's something that you come back to. You see growth as a Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Mel Robbins tells us. If you start to look at adversity in a positive light, something that even maybe fits into a daily habit, you look for opportunities to be exposed and then you relish in the opportunity to get better.
00:15:08:23 - 00:15:37:04
Unknown
That suddenly becomes such a proactive habit, doesn't it? And one that you can only get better at a time. Yeah. So I got a great example using this, this chart that you have up here. So one of the things that I really have noticed physically is that when I do resistance of weight training and is still more comfort because I feel physically stronger, more together, I mean, it's hard to explain.
00:15:37:04 - 00:16:03:10
Unknown
I mean, it's like I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger or anything, but I just feel more capable, shall we say. So, you know, I've made a really good habit of running, but I've never really made a good habit of working out resistance, training, etc.. So my cue is every morning, every morning for the last month, I've been doing resistance training.
00:16:03:10 - 00:16:31:14
Unknown
That's my response to the feeling of wanting to feel good, strong and confident in the morning. And the reward I give myself is my coffee that I make. So I have a really nice espresso coffee machine, as you know. And what I do is I defer my coffee until I've done the resistance training. So the way I've built the habit loop with resistance training, because I've always been a bit on and off and I have got to admit, like, I'll get into it for a week or two and then I drop it running.
00:16:31:20 - 00:17:02:07
Unknown
I've really kept it for some reasons. I hadn't done it with resistance training, you know, working out with bands and weights. So Morning craves to feel the need to feel good and confident. Response Resistance training, workout reward, coffee. That's it. And that's the habit loop and doing it at the same time to address the same desire and the same reward has made that workout program work.
00:17:02:07 - 00:17:32:22
Unknown
Well, another thing is I really wanted to produce a lot of content in the first half of the year, so I wrote every morning before I started work and I published for almost three months. I published a blog post every single day, and I really wanted to get out in front of that content. And it's been really, really good to do again, whatever you, whatever you do, I my role is always do it at the same time to address the same feeling and have the same reward.
00:17:32:25 - 00:17:54:01
Unknown
This is how you address like in the simple case, like I want to feel stronger and more confident by doing upper body workouts. So what do I do? Morning. Want to feel good? Resistance training Coffee is the reward. Don't take the coffee before. And the trick here is you start to feel like you're cheating. You feel so bad for some reason.
00:17:54:03 - 00:18:19:16
Unknown
You know, I had a call at 6 a.m. this week and I just didn't get a chance to to work out before that. And Mark, I felt bad. I felt bad because I had that coffee before the resistance training and that was the power of that money that I built. I just was so naughty. You know, it's a funny situation, right, Because I have a very similar case with exercise in coffee, too.
00:18:19:19 - 00:18:48:04
Unknown
You know, I'll go for a swim down in the sunny shores of Australia and Sydney a couple of times a week. And the group that I go with always, we went out in the cold. It's very early. You know, you go out at sunrise. Weather is, you know, either raining or cold, but the idea of the reward of a hot steaming coffee afterwards, that reward, I think, you know, obviously getting in the water itself is is a wonderful experience, too.
00:18:48:06 - 00:19:08:01
Unknown
But I'd say that secretly there's a lot of us who are looking forward to that coffee more so than getting in the water. Yes. And I think another great reward is the Moonshots master series that all of our members get. I know they crave it, but our members are so fortunate because they get the opportunity to listen to a whole separate podcast.
00:19:08:03 - 00:19:49:03
Unknown
So I think it's only appropriate for our viewers and listeners that we tip the hat to our members. When you say That's right, all of our members who are joining us every single week as we churn out our Moonshots Master series, which only is accessible to those members, include Roo, Bob, Marceline, Ken, DeMar, Margie and Connor. Rodrigo and Liza said Mr. Bonjour, Paul Amberg, Kalman, Joe, Ivan, Christian, Samuel, Barbara, Andre and Eric, Chris, Deborah, Steve and Craig, all of whom are our annual members or more specifically individuals who've been with us for over a year now.
00:19:49:06 - 00:20:22:25
Unknown
Hot on those heels, as I always say, is Daniel, Andrew, Ravi and Yvette, Karen, Rahul, PJ, Nicholas, Ola Ingram, Doug, Emily, Harry, Karthik Venkatesh and Marco Jet, Roger, Anna Rau, McMillan, Eric, Diana and Wade, Christophe, Dennis, Laura and Smitty, Cory Gaylor, Bertrand, Daniella, Mike Nelson and our brand New Moonshots Master member is Daniel. Thank you so much Daniel, But also thank you to all of you individuals who are learning out loud with us every single week.
00:20:23:01 - 00:20:47:12
Unknown
So one thing that they certainly did not do is procrastinate. They went to Moonshot Studio, they hit the members button and became a member and they get all sorts of great benefits. And amongst others, the one that really stands out is access to the Moonshots master series. But to return to the work of Mel Robbins, we know there's another enemy in life if we're going to be the best version of ourselves.
00:20:47:13 - 00:21:11:23
Unknown
Oh, Mark, why don't you hit us with this clip? Because, oh, my gosh, our enemy is procrastination. It certainly is, Mike. So now we're going to hear from a different voice, but a great breakdown of Mel Robinson's book. We're going to hear from mind body connection. He's going to give us, again, some hard truths and he's going to call out this idea of all of us needing to stop delaying.
00:21:11:25 - 00:21:35:12
Unknown
To understand the main idea behind this book, he first thing to think about something you really want, a goal that you have in your mind, do you want to lose weight? Do you want to start your own business? You want to start your own blog talking about something you really want. Now, honestly, ask yourself, Why don't you have this thing already in this day and age with so much information available online, we can never use the excuse that we don't know how to do something.
00:21:35:19 - 00:21:53:17
Unknown
Think about it. If you want to lose weight, start a blog or open a business. All you have to do is Google it and you'll find thousands of people who will tell you exactly step by step on how to do anything. This book discusses the real reason why we don't have what we want and that reason is because we keep waiting until we feel like it.
00:21:53:19 - 00:22:11:15
Unknown
But the harsh reality is you're never going to feel like your motivation is not coming and no one is going to make you do anything. You have to do it for yourself. I used to think that if I really wanted something, eventually I'll feel like doing it. Eventually I'd feel like going after it. I used to think that motivation was going to come from somewhere, push me along.
00:22:11:17 - 00:22:26:12
Unknown
But what this book taught me is that you're never going to feel like it. Think about it. Nobody ever feels like going on a diet. Nobody ever feels like getting up an hour early and have a nice warm bed. But if you want to make your goals a reality, you have to do these things whether you feel like it or not.
00:22:26:14 - 00:22:43:22
Unknown
In the beginning of any new habit you want to adopt or any bad habit that you want to drop, you'll have to force it. Motivation is temporary. It doesn't last. Emotions are temporary as well. They don't last either. Your job is to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to do so you can have everything you want in your life.
00:22:43:24 - 00:23:03:15
Unknown
We have to stop lying to ourselves and saying, I will start tomorrow. Because if you don't feel like doing something today, guess what? You're not going to feel like doing it tomorrow either. There is no tomorrow. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that success, what people do, what is goal achieving unsuccessful people do? What is tension relieving?
00:23:03:18 - 00:23:33:21
Unknown
Successful people have the self-discipline to do what they know they should do, and they do it whether they feel like it or not. Yeah, this is really important because to me what we are discovering is superstars and the everyday person have exactly the same challenges, which is they feel like hitting the snooze button. The difference is those that succeed and thrive overcome that they train themselves not to hit the snooze button.
00:23:33:21 - 00:24:02:20
Unknown
Right. And here's the thing. Once you've done it in life and built successful habit loops, overcome weaknesses or areas that you're procrastinating, once you've done it, much like once you've run a marathon, then the idea of running two or three is no big deal, right? Yeah. Once you run the half marathon, you're like, Oh, maybe I can take a crack at the full marathon, for example.
00:24:02:22 - 00:24:37:23
Unknown
But I think it's particularly hard for those who've never sought to become uncomfortable. And you can you can almost ignorantly be in this loop of, oh, tomorrow, another time, another life. And this is the danger. So what I want to focus our conversation on is not only thinking about the cost of delaying something, but mechanisms to kind of break through, to force the ending.
00:24:37:25 - 00:25:04:14
Unknown
And one of the things that comes to my mind is writing your own obituary. All right, let's get dark and say, so what are people going to say about you at your funeral? How will you be remembered? Will you be remembered? Have you made a contribution? And those can be very I mean, this is the brutal age mark of what I use to to kind of wake myself up.
00:25:04:14 - 00:25:38:14
Unknown
Right. How how how do you overcome this delaying and procrastinating? How do you spark action when you're kind of a bit uncomfortable? We kind of don't want to do it. Well, now that you've put it in my mind, the idea of writing my own obituary, I'm probably going to have to start thinking about that. But in all seriousness, I think that idea of legacy is certainly a theme and an insight or an approach that's been on our minds throughout this show.
00:25:38:16 - 00:26:02:12
Unknown
You know, specifically when we look at the work of, you know, Goggins or earlier, you mentioned Carol Dweck, but also maybe somebody like Elizabeth Gilbert. A lot of them are making this case for us. Don't delay. Go out and create something that you're going to be proud of and just give it a go. And whether it ends up in your obituary or not, it's still something that you can look back at and be pleased with.
00:26:02:14 - 00:26:39:07
Unknown
I think for me, the thing that stops me hitting the snooze button and there's two there's two stages or two phases stating the snooze button, isn't that the first one is doing it for the first time. The first time a new activity. Maybe it's the first time going for a run when it's still dark outside, or maybe it's getting in the cold water or maybe it's going out for a job interview, whatever it might be, hitting the snooze button and not avoiding that the first time is, I think, somewhat easy to put off and distract yourself because it's a brand new, exciting moment.
00:26:39:09 - 00:27:01:19
Unknown
So there's that idea for me at least, where I think, Yeah, let's go and give it a go. Let's find out what this is all about because you've got nothing to compare it to. I'm going to hit you with a proposal. Mike. Maybe it's easier or more tempting to hit the snooze button once you've actually done something. Because, you know, like last time I ran, I had a bit of a niggle in my leg, or last time I went out, it was really cold.
00:27:01:21 - 00:27:32:24
Unknown
So it's potentially sometimes easier to forgive yourself to hit the snooze button on second or later time. Yes. Or in the way the way that I would try and combat that is remembering the good feeling I get afterwards. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Not only the idea of perhaps the achievement, but it's even just the process, the enjoyment of going out there when again, let's let's continue the idea of running, going out there when no one else is around.
00:27:32:24 - 00:28:14:03
Unknown
You've got the world seemingly to yourself and knowing that you can get, you know, a lot done while you're running, you can think about things more deeply. You're enjoying the world. It's something that you take great joy of during the race as well as know it's but another another thing that might be related to the chat that you've got up on the screen is something that I find quite helpful, even with really practical stuff like health or financial things, which is to really explore the cost of the procrastination.
00:28:14:05 - 00:28:41:23
Unknown
Okay, let's say you got a financial thing that you're incurring costs on and you have to take action to prevent those costs. Well, just think to yourself, if I'm getting dinged every I don't know, every month, that's going to cost me a hundred or a thousand bucks a year. Like it's easy to defer like $100 this month. But if it's a thousand or 1200 dollars for the year, you likewise with health.
00:28:41:23 - 00:29:04:14
Unknown
Okay. So if I don't get fit this month, right. And I'm getting older. Right. It's going to get harder and harder to get fit. Do I want to get close to an area where I have health issues as it relates as a as a sort of a result, if you will, of not being fit well in healthy? I find the same thing with junk food, right?
00:29:04:16 - 00:29:37:04
Unknown
Like, do you really need this and are you prepared to pay the cost on the bottom line that is speaking this? And these are all techniques of confronting choice, procrastination and often walk us through this calculating delay cost. I feel like we're about to get into the science of procrastination here. Well, I think actually, Mike, you've just done quite a nice little breakdown there of thinking about things from the, the, the culmination moments.
00:29:37:07 - 00:30:01:01
Unknown
Yeah. So fast forwarding to January one next year. Yeah. And you look back over the year, the 12 months and you think, you know what, this time last year I was really focused on maybe getting fit, but I never thought that I had enough time or I never really invested enough energy into it. Really? What this this idea of delay cost is adding it into that front area.
00:30:01:01 - 00:30:32:17
Unknown
As you can see, just behind Maya, my head and the listeners, what we're looking at is the idea of delay costs getting more substantial the longer it takes in order to do something. So, for example, similar to the way that Mike's just broken it down, if we delayed it by a whole year, suddenly not only are you now at the bottom of a hill and you've got to climb it, you've also added on an additional factor of time as well as energy, wasted energy that then would culminate into your delay costs.
00:30:32:21 - 00:30:55:10
Unknown
However, when you get to a point of action and in the graph behind me, that would be less than the maybe you can reduce those delay costs. And those costs could be energy that could be physical time, maybe even money. I going sooner by being more proactive, I think, Mike, that's very much where Mel is leading us within this book, isn't it?
00:30:55:12 - 00:31:22:08
Unknown
She is. So what we've kind of seen is a two part build like we are. We're fighting against procrastination, which is all about understanding what we want, right? And knowing that it's not going to be easy. And if it's worth wanting, then it should be hard, right? You know, when you do things and you're like, this is something's wrong here.
00:31:22:08 - 00:32:01:19
Unknown
This is too easy, right? Like, that's an experience worry. I will always know, like, hey, something's not quite right here. I didn't have to fight for it enough. I haven't heard enough like this. I'm not worthy of this result. All we're talking about here is finding the capacity to listen to what you want, not deferring that conversation in a dialog and then leaping into action, being fearless about jumping in to action.
00:32:01:21 - 00:32:32:11
Unknown
And it's this bias towards action is such a strong moonshot theme. We see it all over the place. And what I love is that Mel not only helps us listen to our inner thoughts, dreams, desires and hopes to address and confront them, stop procrastinating from putting them off. And then what we're about to get now is this leap into action.
00:32:32:13 - 00:32:59:17
Unknown
That's right. We've got our next clip coming at us, Mike. We're going to learn some even more hard truths, perhaps, but Mel is really going to break down for us now about how we all need to take action. I'm passionate about film and cinema. Mel. I tweet and I blog about it. People are inspired by what I write, but when I'm offered certain opportunities, I clench shop and suddenly feel like an imposter who will mess up and be found.
00:32:59:17 - 00:33:28:10
Unknown
I'm 36. I'm single in a paycheck to paycheck situation and feel like I have wasted many years due to overthinking self doubt and never feeling good enough already. How can I overcome this? Well, you can't. You can't overcome the feelings that are rising up Langley, but you can take action despite them. That's a very important distinction that I want each and every one of you to understand the things that you're feeling.
00:33:28:11 - 00:33:50:12
Unknown
Clenching up, feeling like you're not good enough, feeling like you're not ready, doubting yourself, kind of spending too much time thinking about how much time you've wasted, all that that's normal that we all do. You cannot overcome those thoughts because they keep rising up and they've become a habit and it's sort of a pattern. So I don't want you to focus on the thoughts.
00:33:50:12 - 00:34:17:04
Unknown
I want you to focus on taking action. Even though you doubt yourself, you are going to feel like an imposter until you push through that clenched up moment over and over and over again, and then suddenly, through action. Langley you're going to see that you're not an imposter at all. You're actually the kind of person that pushes through and does what he or she says they are going to do.
00:34:17:04 - 00:34:41:21
Unknown
If you want to be successful in business, if you truly want that side hustle to turn into your full time thing, you have to learn how to let the feelings of doubt rise up, but take action anyway. So this is what we got to do here. We've got to train ourselves right When we feel the imposter syndrome, we feel the self-doubt.
00:34:41:23 - 00:35:12:19
Unknown
What I try to do is say, Oh, fantastic. Like I must be challenging myself, stretching myself because I'm feeling a little like out of my league here. And I truly believe you can actually build the habit of going, Oh, this is different. I'm a bit uncomfortable, but it's okay. And I think having this idea of like a cookie jar that David Robbins.
00:35:12:21 - 00:35:43:22
Unknown
David Goggins has, he encourages you in his book, in his first book to write a list of all the times you've achieved something remarkable. Right? And often in those you can unpack. There was a time where I wasn't good at that thing, but I became good. So the fact that I'm not good at a thing right now or I feel doubt now that's okay, because how many times in my life I got this whole list and it's such a powerful reminder, like, you know, you can go back like my list.
00:35:43:22 - 00:36:06:00
Unknown
I go back and write things about achievements that I had as a teenager, and I reread dozens and go, Wow, it's crazy to. Think that I overcame all of these obstacles and achieved this great thing. But it wasn't always that easy. It was hard. And then you hear, Well, it's okay. This new thing I'm trying to do is hard.
00:36:06:02 - 00:36:29:06
Unknown
So I think having the cookie jar, I think having the capacity to know that challenge is okay and that we have sort of a biological response for survival. So part of why we don't want to go near a threat, it's like the hot sauce. You don't want to touch it because you'll be burnt. Right? Exactly. It's just natural survival instinct.
00:36:29:08 - 00:36:51:04
Unknown
But if you're like, oh, okay, well, I've run ten kilometers and I'm feeling a little bit naked right now. I'm feeling pretty heavy, but I know I can run a bit more. And if you've never run that distance before, just break it down step by step, and before you know it, you'll have run 11 kilometers. Oh, I'm still alive.
00:36:51:06 - 00:37:14:18
Unknown
I can't. Maybe I need to lie down a bit, but that's okay. Run 12. And I had this moment where I really stopped feeling like an imposter with running when I ran 30 kilometers in one run for the first time. And then that was when I was like, Damn. Okay, I like I've arrived with my running now, like, it's okay.
00:37:14:18 - 00:37:43:23
Unknown
And I felt no fear about running a marathon. Do you know what Mark it took to years of running every second day, time after time when I was sick, when I was slow, and that's what got me to that moment. But here's the thing. There was a million opportunities to procrastinate before I got to this moment. So how was it when you look at this chart here, what are some of your favorite ways of not procrastinating?
00:37:43:23 - 00:38:05:25
Unknown
How do you keep going? How can we ensure we don't hit the snooze? But what do you got there? What are some of your fights? Well, I think Mike and I would agree with that. The insight you've just shared, which I think we could probably put, is number one up on our chart, which those listening in is get start get yourself started by believing in your ability to succeed.
00:38:06:01 - 00:38:26:25
Unknown
So I agree, Mike. The times in my life when I've really been frustrated with something, maybe it's trying to get a new project off the ground or learn a new skill. It's very frustrating. But as Mel has reminded us today, emotions are temporary. And once you get to a point where you can believe in your ability to succeed, it becomes a lot easier.
00:38:26:25 - 00:38:49:11
Unknown
So I think you're right, Mike, Setting us off, that's a nice, strong one. The second one we've got up on our screen, which I really like, and I know that you can say the same is set out concrete deadlines for yourself. Now, can I add one thing that I think we need a little bit of accountability on deadlines, like just a nuance here.
00:38:49:13 - 00:39:10:24
Unknown
Like if I say I'm going to run long on Sunday to myself, that's one thing. But if I tell you and then we're getting on the following Tuesday to do the show and you're like, Hey, Mike, had you go, I'm like, Well, yeah. So rainy day. Rainy Day didn't get a Yeah, it would be much better for a7k than a 14.
00:39:10:24 - 00:39:34:03
Unknown
Okay. I think making sharing some of your deadlines and goals is a very helpful way because if you can muster the courage to share it with your friends and family, your goals, just the fact that you told them that's almost a snooze button beater right there. Yeah, it is. And actually, that is some advice that we've heard on the show before, isn't it?
00:39:34:05 - 00:40:08:24
Unknown
When you hold yourself, get others to hold you accountable, It's a lot easier to say no to yourself than it is to other. It's another couple of ones that I really like. Mike And all background is eliminate various distractions from your environment. Now, this is a big tip when it comes to procrastination, particularly for those of us who spend a lot of time working from home because identify you might put sometimes I'm looking around my study and I'm thinking I should really tidy that up or you know that things that flow and I really need some more water and then suddenly you go down a bit of a rabbit hole, or at least I do,
00:40:09:01 - 00:40:37:20
Unknown
because I'm still learning good ways to overcome procrastination by the sounds of it. But to eliminate those distractions is a sure fire way to eliminate those that wasted time. And Mike, this is digital minimalism as well, right? It totally is. And I think distractions are not only immediate, but I think the distractions are like, you know, I'm sure that a number of our members and viewers love to do gaming on their PlayStation and Xbox.
00:40:37:20 - 00:41:06:14
Unknown
Right? And I'm sure that that might be something that takes up a fair bit of time, that which eliminates time for exercise or time for adventure learning new things. So let's say I was gaming a little too much. Maybe you put yourself on. I only do gaming on the weekend, right? Those kind of things. One of the other little hacks you and I spoke about, if you want to run in the morning, get your running gear out the night before.
00:41:06:14 - 00:41:30:19
Unknown
Oh, right. Yeah, We always like that one. We always like that one. Indeed. I think what is quite interesting, Mike, and it's the one just behind my head, which I think I would connect to this idea of laying out your shoes the night before is to also recognize after the event, the times or the days or the items that you have done and really reflect on it, record it.
00:41:30:19 - 00:41:52:25
Unknown
Maybe it's marking down in your calendar. Maybe it's a big green tick. Good. I go for a run today. Or was I more patient or was it something that I really worked towards? I didn't put off? Oh yeah. Recognizing that a big motivation, which again I think goes back to your insight around running and getting better and feeling more confident in your ability is when you recognize it and you can look back at it.
00:41:53:05 - 00:42:23:25
Unknown
Yeah, absolutely. That's why we get addicted to those little apple circles on the year. I totally extend my walks if I'm close, like I was looking or I was looking today and it's only been a short run today, so I definitely need to fit in another walk if I want to close my circles. Well, Mike, I'm going to I'm going to counter that with one more way to overcome procrastination, and that's to avoid a perfectionist mindset.
00:42:24:01 - 00:43:01:16
Unknown
So maybe your sectionalism of trying to tick off all those boxes is actually and this is an intervention. That's a way of you procrastinating away from your work. Oh, there you go, listeners and viewers. Therapy for my therapy for my guys, actually. But in all seriousness, I think the habits and the ways and the tips that we've got from Mel, as well as a number of other means, showed us when it comes to not delaying, avoiding procrastination and just getting out and doing it really comes down to holding yourself accountable, doesn't it?
00:43:01:18 - 00:43:34:01
Unknown
Making yourself the one who's the one who has to go out and do it. And I think, you know, Coach Julie right now, we all need to go back and read Extreme Ownership by Yuka Willink because without being political about it, there's just too many people right now blaming others for their predicament. Right. But who the hell is going to get Mike out of Mike's problems other than Mike, Right.
00:43:34:03 - 00:44:09:17
Unknown
Who else is going to fix your conundrum? Like, in the end of the day, it's you again to fix you. I am going to fix myself. And I do believe that, you know, Goggins talks about stop looking to others to solve your problems. Stop putting, stop blaming, stop procrastinating, get out there and say the only person that's going to get me is me.
00:44:09:19 - 00:44:31:21
Unknown
And one one kind of note on that is where we all get that gusto in January and February of like going to get fit and healthy, dry January and all that kind of stuff is that we often set wildly ambitious goals and then we just fall well short of those and get demoralized. Do you want to run a marathon?
00:44:31:21 - 00:44:57:03
Unknown
Maybe that starts with walking just one kilometer a week and then, you know, you do that next week, you walk two kilometers. Before you know it, you walk ten kilometers, maybe run five and just break it down. And the thing is, you can celebrate like I know I walked ten KS today and I want to run 42 next year.
00:44:57:05 - 00:45:31:04
Unknown
But you can take enormous being from knowing this is part of the journey to achieving the marathon. Yes, it is a step on the ladder, isn't it? Yeah. And you know, similar to a lot of the lessons we've learned, which particularly focus on this idea of not going after the end goal, but actually enjoying the journey because, you know, I think that one for me has actually always been quite a powerful motivator rather than looking at my, you know, savings account and thinking, Wow, I can't wait to get to X amount.
00:45:31:04 - 00:45:55:10
Unknown
Instead just seeing things slowly grow and knowing that I'm the one who's accountable for it. And the work that I put in that has an effect. And that's obviously the same with pretty much everything in life. That's the reward, isn't it? That's that's where you look back. And, you know, going back to this idea of legacy, I think that's one of the things that does motivate me actually to try and get out because I know that I'm only going to get out of it.
00:45:55:10 - 00:46:16:15
Unknown
What I'm going to put it aside for now, You might be forgiven for thinking, Mark, that we've extracted all the value we could possibly get from Mel Robbins. But you know what? You've got one more goodie in the bag. Why don't we unleash our last clip for the show? Yes, I really, really enjoy this last clip from Mel.
00:46:16:15 - 00:46:29:08
Unknown
He's going to close out our show. And actually, we've already covered it a little bit, Mike, this idea of stopping procrastination. But now Mel is going to take us a layer deeper and talk to us about the power of our subconscious.
00:46:29:08 - 00:46:40:21
Unknown
So let's talk a little bit about procrastination. Who in your struggles with procrastination and the rest of you that are reading your hand or just procrastinating on doing it, aren't you?
00:46:40:21 - 00:47:04:07
Unknown
I know. You see, I always thought procrastination had to do with the thing I was procrastinating around, right? Like that. Procrastination has something to do with work, believe it or not, procrastination has nothing to do with your work. Procrastination is a form of stress relief. Let me explain this So. Let's say that you've got some stuff going on in your life and heck, who doesn't have stuff going on in your life?
00:47:04:12 - 00:47:23:13
Unknown
Maybe you're fighting with your significant other, maybe mom's or dad's health is failing and it's really, really upsetting you. Maybe you've got some financial stuff. You put too much of your savings into Bitcoin and now that that's crashed, you're stressed out about it right? And so you go into work and when you get into work, you got stuff to do.
00:47:23:14 - 00:47:42:01
Unknown
You kind of walk in and you got this big stress ball that subconsciously is hanging over your head. And so you walk in and you sit down and you know, you got 13 phone calls you need to make. And you also know that you've been chickening out, you've been making easy calls. And there's a bunch of CEOs or other people that are higher level that you haven't been calling.
00:47:42:03 - 00:47:59:00
Unknown
And so as you sit down to do it, you've got the stress on your shoulders. Your brain starts to go, wait a minute, Well, you want me to make a call to somebody that I'm scared to make? Absolutely not. I'm so stressed out about. Can we just watch some cat videos for a minute? And next thing you know, an hour's gone by?
00:47:59:01 - 00:48:21:23
Unknown
And then, of course, what do you do? You beat yourself up. So the only way that you can break this habit and that's an important word for you to hear. You're not a procrastinator. You have a habit of procrastinating. Big difference. Because if it's a habit, I can teach you to use science to break it. You see, all habits have three parts.
00:48:21:23 - 00:48:50:10
Unknown
There's a trigger. And in the case of procrastination, the triggers always stress. And there's a pattern you repeat. And in the case of procrastination, it is to avoid doing something. And then there's a reward. You get a little stress relief. The only way to break a habit, you guys, is not to deal with the triggers. You're never going to get rid of the stress in your life, but you can 100% change your pattern of avoiding work.
00:48:50:12 - 00:49:09:13
Unknown
So next time that you're in a situation where you feel yourself hesitate, you spend way too much time checking out the highlights from last night's scores. What you're going to do is you're going to go up. I must be stressed out about something. Acknowledge the stress, then go. Five, four, three, two, one. I want you to count yourself because I want you to interrupt the habit, the sword here.
00:49:09:19 - 00:49:33:11
Unknown
And I want you to awaken your prefrontal cortex. Then I want you to just work just for 5 minutes. The Reason why I want you to only work for 5 minutes is because your problem isn't working. It's the habit of avoiding. I just need you to start. And here's the other cool thing we know based on research, that if we can get you to start, 80% of you are going to keep going.
00:49:33:11 - 00:49:58:02
Unknown
Oh, man. You know, this is very this is really speaking to me. This is the philosophy, the way I would express this is attack the problem. When I feel discomfort or when I've got an inkling something's not right, get after. I personally in my career, I've had times where I've felt something's not right there and I've avoided it.
00:49:58:02 - 00:50:22:06
Unknown
And then it comes back and gets you worse in the future. So I remember, like, if I'm feeling uncomfortable now, it's going to be a disaster. So in the future, right? Yeah. It's funny, if I'm honest with myself, there's probably been a couple of times for me where I thought, Can I get away with this? And even if this this could be something that's going to be more painful.
00:50:22:08 - 00:50:47:24
Unknown
And the best people that I've worked with are the ones who will notice something like that, and they'll turn it into a potential offramp, so to speak, to make the idea or whatever it is better. So. Right, this is a potential problem that we could see. Maybe it's a timeline issue, maybe it's something more personal, whatever it might be, or maybe it's something a change in the market and you can see it coming.
00:50:47:24 - 00:51:08:15
Unknown
The eating. You know what? We could ignore it and assume it's going to be okay. Or we could go out and attack it. Like we always say, go out and make the products project the work that you're doing, maybe better because of that knowledge. And that might you know, it can. It's the best people I've worked with are the ones who do that.
00:51:08:18 - 00:51:34:16
Unknown
But it's not all of us. But I think I think the good news is like happiness, like a lot of things. It's a muscle you can build Exactly. I think I just built build it myself from having felt the pain of deferring and procrastinating. It just comes back in Belgium. Okay, well, to the best of my ability, I'm going to just try and tackle you see this action line you've got up here.
00:51:34:16 - 00:51:58:13
Unknown
I just want to bring that up further. Like better to take a little hit now than a huge hit down the line, right? Yeah. Yeah. And for listeners at home and obviously we we suggest everybody go and check out the the frameworks we're visualizing in our video edition of the show. But for those listening in, what we have behind us is a chart that marks time against pain.
00:51:58:15 - 00:52:19:09
Unknown
So pain being something that a lot of us experience when we procrastinate for too long. So if you leave a long time and things just get a little bit uncomfortable, maybe those deadlines are sneaking up. Maybe a conversation you've been putting off is still around you have not been able to avoid it and you've got that anxiety in your belly.
00:52:19:15 - 00:52:39:16
Unknown
You know something's not right. Then suddenly you're going to get to a point, maybe perhaps even a cliff or the edge of the wave and suddenly you're going to go into action mode. That's the action line. And I think my robot Mel's been calling out to us today as well as in the five second rule of this book is that we can control that time.
00:52:39:18 - 00:53:01:09
Unknown
We can control when that action takes place. Once you've really started noticing and recognizing your let's call them symptoms of procrastination or maybe symptoms of pain perhaps is another way of looking at it, if you notice. Okay, I'm starting to get a little bit uncomfortable when I'm talking to so-and-so. Maybe this is an alarm bell that I should observe.
00:53:01:12 - 00:53:29:02
Unknown
Yes, maybe it's something that I should come back to and try and make better or act upon quicker because I have been burned before. Perhaps investigate this. You attack the problem. Don't delay. Right. Like the more you do those feelings. Never in my life have they just disappeared. Even when you thought they disappeared, they come back in turn really bad.
00:53:29:04 - 00:53:49:06
Unknown
Yeah, that's true. But similar again, we've spoken about the fight or flight response on today's show as well as in the past. That's just so tempting, isn't it? It's so tempting to find something that is uncomfortable and either put it off so long that you can no longer avoid it or just keep on running from it. But you're right, Mike.
00:53:49:06 - 00:54:13:04
Unknown
It always comes around, doesn't it? It does. It does. Well, Oh, my gosh. So Many lessons. In the second installment of the Mel Robbins series. Mark, let me hit you up. We've covered the the gamut, really, of the, you know, changing the line right towards action or even listening to those little whispers in life. We've covered that whole spectrum today.
00:54:13:06 - 00:54:34:16
Unknown
What's going to be your area of focus? What's what's going to get some further investigation from Mr. Martinson? Feeling all right? I think there have been times in my life where I have procrastinated, and I think I'm probably even doing it perhaps more subconsciously nowadays than than intentionally. I would like to hold myself a little bit more accountable.
00:54:34:19 - 00:55:09:12
Unknown
So I'm going to really lean into this idea of just getting on with it, noticing particularly that brain breakdown that we heard earlier in that first clip, the emergency brake that I was saying, noticing those patterns, thinking about how I'm reacting to moments pretty much at every time of the day is going to be something that I'm going to really work on and be conscious of like, hmm, I think for me, I think it is.
00:55:09:14 - 00:55:39:17
Unknown
It's interesting how I think about this. I think it's going to be about listening to my intuition and quickly journaling on it is I think once I break out of the brain, like it's like least you want to get out of my head and it's even just in a journal entry. And so it's represented to me whether I get it the next day or in three months when I reread my journal, hopefully getting it out of the abstract and written down.
00:55:39:19 - 00:56:15:08
Unknown
That's the thing I'm going to go after. Yeah, that's a nice idea. I like that. Yes. Journaling instantly to a whole you sort of accountable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I just think that's the best answer I've got. But I'll report back to you, Mark, and to all of our members and viewers as well. And I want to say thank you to all of you, not only Mark, my partner in crime, but to all of you, our members, listeners and viewers here we are on show 230 with Mel Robbins part two, where we examined the thinking behind Stop saying your sign.
00:56:15:10 - 00:56:47:25
Unknown
And there were four big chapters. There was a call to action of get the hell out of your head, Stop delaying, take action. And number four was, There's only one way to stop procrastinating, and that is to leap to jump into action to address not only friction, but to pursue who you want to be. And that is exactly aligned with what we're here on the Moonshots podcast.
00:56:48:01 - 00:57:06:12
Unknown
We are on the adventure of a lifetime to learn how we can be the best version of ourselves. And we're doing it by learning out loud together. So I think we can all stop saying we're fine. I think we can stop procrastinating and I think we can take a big ol shot, a jump, a leap to the moon.
00:57:06:14 - 00:57:12:19
Unknown
And if you do so, life will be good. All right. That's it for the Moon podcast. That's a wrap.