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Students share honest dialogue about love, relationships, dating, and sex on Michigan State University's campus.
(Elle) about if I was feeling good would that mean I'm above the weather? Because he said that that was like a high thought. And I talked about how a couple nights ago I got to lie and I convinced myself I had invented a new color. And then I said to another time, Jada was here for that she was in the room with us today, I thought I invented a new beverage because I combined sprite and lemonade and said, it was Sparkling Lemonade, and it was horrible. By the way, it wasn't even good. No, it was trash. So bad. And then as I said that I was an innovator and I know what you're thinking, why are you including this in the RE recording? Because I knew the audience to know that I am an innovator.
(Anthony) Exactly. We had a lot of good content that apparently just just disappear. But no things happened. And it wouldn't be another return episode if BSA happened. But with this episode, it was going to talk about the topic of this episode because she has some newspapers in front of her and if you want to reach out get again for an ASMR moment
(Elle) Yeah, I have newspapers. Um, we have a love and sex issue every February and we've done quite a few stories on today's topic, online and long distance relationships. Title in this episode will be levied for sites or site sites. Ie we're very proud of that joke. You can tell how many times we've brought it up.
(Anthony) Unfortunately, y'all won't know how many times you buy it up. Jada knows Jade has been here for it all day has been here. Shout out her for also pointing out the fact that it stopped recording. Imagine we like finished data like none recorded and not just for
(Elle) backup. We don't know that. It wasn't her who stopped the recording.
(Anthony) You never know. Maybe she like you know, I'm talking to y'all. Did it look alive? Matter of fact, it was crazy. And I'm gonna retell the story. It was when I start talking about the devil worshiper. Oh, devil was like, You know what? You're not about to expose me. Oh, that's so funny. But yeah, so now just in case we're back on record on my phone, so we go get this steak but okay.
(Elle) He's gonna tell that story in a second about the double wars for stick around guys. Um, so, online relationships. I was in an online relationship. For nine months, I met my ex girlfriend online. I'm not gonna say her name. I met her online because every time I tell this story, it's like still kind of embarrassing. I mean, I'm not that embarrassed by but like a little bit. It's just hard to say with a straight face. So I'm a big Harry Potter fan. The franchise not the author because she is a turf, and that is trans exclusionary radical feminist. She's just a transphobic kind of behave just a bigot in general. So like She named her only Irish character Seamus Finnegan and had him love blowing stuff up and lighting things on fire. Her only Asian character was named Cho Chang. And that's not even a first name. She has to last names. That's like if you met somebody named Joan Smith. Not a thing. Anyway, that's crazy. So I have disdain for the character of Severus Snape and I just I don't like that he got an attempted redemption arc. I don't like that he bullied children. And then he was like, but I wanted to ban your mom the whole time. So it's okay. And it's like, no, that's not how that works. So I followed this girl on Instagram who ran a Snape pay account. And long story short, I ended up dating her for nine months and she's Dutch. I started kind of loving Dutch during our relationship, but it's been like two years so I've forgotten at all. Now the only thing I remember how to say is thank you. So for some reason the recording stopped again on the computer. I have no idea what's going on. But I just keep going. I just got it. We got it on the phone. So I'll just use that for our recording. And since we're in a like a no soundproof room, it'll sound okay, because I've recorded I've had to do this before, not because of the computer, but that's so weird. So crazy. Maybe it's like the Harry Potter character using his wizard powers. Please. Please, was he a wizard? And he Yeah, okay, because I'm also an INCEL. I'm not his witches. Yeah, but yeah, the only word I can still say in Dutch is donkey though, which means thank you. And I told her when she said in the first record, she has an attractive Dutch voice. Thank you. I do. I also, my boyfriend now is also European. He's Albanian and I know a few words and Armenian. One of them is a cuss word that I might wait, are we allowed to swear in other languages? I don't have a problem because it's delish. And it means like Shi T head, dog. Yes. He also says whenever he drops things, he goes, Oh, bah. And it's really funny. Because I'm like, because you know, when you go to Greek town and they like the cheese on fire, and they yell that that's what I always think of what does it mean? Is it two different meanings for those concepts? Like he knows it when you start also like if you drop something, he's it's like, Ah, I don't really know what it means. I think it's just kind of like a Yelp. okay or not Saying, I can say I love you, which is to do shum. Say, I know more. Oh, I can say both mir which is like eat well, if you're Albanian, you're listening to this and my pronunciation is awful. Cut me right guys. Okay, it's not my native language. Shout out the app, but you could say cut her some slack. Oh. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, so that's the Dutch I learned I was in a long distance relationship. And I've always found it interesting. What people what people define as long distance, because I've had people tell me, they're in a long distance relationship, and their partner is still in Michigan. And it's like, well, my best friend in high school was in a long an online long distance relationship. She actually ended up getting married to that person. Oh, I don't know if you listen, but am I miss you? They have a dog and a cat. No. It's great. I'm very I miss her a lot anyway. But that was Michigan in California. So my ex and I were the Netherlands and America, Michigan was just like a six or seven hour time difference. So I've always found we only like had one in person meeting. But we were together for like a month because I was in the Netherlands over. I left the day after Christmas, and I intended to stay there for two weeks, but then I got COVID So I ended up staying a full month. Which was super nice because I had asymptomatic COVID. So I was like, fine. And if I didn't have so many tests done, I honestly wouldn't have thought I ever had it. Did you ever get it? It was really weird because we thought she had it. And then it was like a false negative. But not to go into too much detail. I don't know how she wouldn't have gotten it if okay, we give it to you in your nice dish. Shout out. Desiree, please. Yeah. Okay. Which is actually interesting because one of the articles about long distance relationships that the state news has published in February of 2021 talked about phone sex, which is quite interesting. We're not going to get too much into that. But that is my experience with long distance relationships. I mean in distance ended up being a reasonably broke up it was just too hard to do all that without seeing one another. And I think it was more difficult after we had met because before we met it was like we didn't know what we were missing. And then after we met it was like Oh, I like i Why am I not around you right now? This is terrible.
(Anthony) Yeah, that's been one of my I heard it be called non negotiables non negotiation negotiation ball Yeah, non negotiable and terms of things I want to ever deal with in a relationship and mine and I don't have that many from memory is just cheating and then long distance just with the type of person I am and how I show my love and stuff. I can't be in a relationship where that person shoe you said American Dutch I'm struggling I struggle from like East Lansing to Detroit. So like, and especially if you don't have transportation or if you don't have like a car you own it makes it any bit of distance from can make it hard like if you go like to different schools. I remember back in the day that used to be an issue back in the day. It's crazy, but that used to be an issue if you date somebody from a different school, but like different state, different country. I couldn't do it
(Elle) different continents. Yeah. See Europe though. So that was cool. I mean, obviously I had a wonderful first relationship fell in love all that but seeing Europe was sick. I went to the wrong turn on a roundabout and ended up in Germany. And the only thing I saw was an Amazon warehouse. And it's kind of boring. I was like, Oh, we got that at home. But the Netherlands weatherwise is a lot like the US except they don't have snow. Later, I was there in January and it was like fall in Michigan basically. Like it was the way the weather is now if not a little warmer and there were they have no billboards, real on their highways. It was so weird, and you know how like, we go out and we'll see like horses or deer or something or cows, they have lots of sheep. Oh, okay, so that's my take on the
(Anthony) real quick and also I unfortunately just realize since it's not recording on the lot it's also weird The difference is since it's not recorded on that we don't necessarily need that if I like it makes I do too. And especially since I just took it off it's like why it sounds so crazy. And then as I put it back on it sounds so different but real quick before I get into my experience of my online relationship situation. And so explain in the context of that joke in the beginning of this recording um, did you do remember the difference in food like Tyson from like Europe and America?
(Elle) Well, Europe is that like, this is like a broad thing to say or the Netherlands to be more specific, I guess. A lot of people I found I don't know what the Netherlands is because it nowhere I don't. I thought it was in Scandinavia and it is not. It is near Germany and Belgium. So if you think of waffles, please, if you think of like the EU, Ireland, the UK, Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, it's like in between France and Germany out there. That's a very small country. And I remember I remember thinking it was really really funny because we were playing cards. It was me my ex. My ex is sister, her sister's girlfriend and her mom and her mom was party. Her mom was like, I'm so glad I never had sons. I could never be a boy mom. And I was like you having two gay daughters is so funny. Like that to me. I remember thinking that was really funny. The food there? I mean it's not bad. It's just like when a lot of people think a really good European food they tend to think of South you or your Yes, South Europe. So like Italian food or Greek food or Mediterranean food. You don't really think of like the UK like beans and toast, you know? They do have really good dessert though. They have this thing called Stroopwafel or Stroopwafel. It's so good. What it tastes like. It's like these two little like waffles but they're not waffles. I'm going to have to look up a picture. If you're at home listening Google Stroopwafel and it's how would you spell that? S T R O O P WAFFEL? I think but Dutch is a very unserious language. You know, and this isn't even, like controversial thing to say. If you look at the way that their language looks written out, it is kind of funny. Like it looks ridiculous. Shout out to the Dutch speakers out there. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not I don't hate all Dutch people, obviously. Yeah, obviously not. We love everybody. It's literally it's love and sex pocket. Exactly. So that is my long distance relationship might talk about it more but you can tell your devil worshiper story
(Anthony) so real quick to give a disclaimer. So my phone's turned off if you whatever you believe in that is your choice we're not here to judge we're not here to make fun of I'm just going to tell this story in a humorous way because silly person and also it shocked me from this perspective. But that being said, so I was talking to Elena first recording my experience with long distance like talking situation ships mainly were with dating apps and I met this young lady through I don't remember if it was Tinder or BLK or black If however you pronounce it but we were talking about the rapper. It's spelled like the number six LIC K OC black I've been saying six lakh this entire time I was also just accidentally say six six leg as well I really thought that it was six lakh I think I could be crying laughing I couldn't be wrong on this but I think he said it don't matter since people used to mess it up so much I think but I could be completely wrong he said it definitely matter but regardless shout him his music is great but um you know pretty little pretty low fears were him and Jay Cole. No, you are you here to hit someone I said John don't know but regardless so met this young lady through dating app and I found out she went to the same school as me so context um, this is me at Michigan State freshman year one of my first college experiences and we both lived close to each other and proximity and the time I live in nebrodi neighborhood I was living in rather a rather having pronouncedly Hall and I forget where the young lady lived but we ended up agreeing to meet in the dining hall so it could be like public area, you know, Stranger danger may show no like safety issues. And we met and we eventually started talking about tattoos and type of tattoos we want and it wasn't before I have the tattoos on my left arm of Philippians 413 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So I was saying I wanted that tattoo. And I even forgot this detail when I was explaining it in the first recording she showed me a pictures of what I ended up finding out was like how actual angels look like the big eyeball like the wings and me scares the heck out of me we actually me and J was just talking about this recently would be not a very
(Elle) well of course they said that it makes sense if you saw you die, and I'm scared of anything with more than two eyes because when I was small a peacock chased me around the zoo, the Detroit zoo I got chased by peacock which is why they should not let them out of the cage. They don't let the Tigers walk around. It's in order for you. Anyway, so anything they look like they're more than two eyes so anything with more than two eyes
(Anthony and Elle) so like a cyclops a creep you know definitely one I bought a Cyclops was more than one. Oh no, we're right my bad. My bad. My bad. My bad. That's on me that's on me. That's on me. No Cyclops and Mike was out here said if you got to die, it's fine. But so do you. Have you ever watched Benton You know the cartoon? No. I just heard a little bit dark. Yeah, Monsters University because I was scared of squishy the monster is written in the movie is not to be scary and kind of ridiculous but he's five eyes so I was scared of it.
(Anthony) But yeah, she saw she showed me original angels and then some other things and I was trying to join it was a bit awkward cuz I'm like this just look pretty crazy but I tried to joke out of it be like, Oh yeah, that's some demonic junk or whatever and she was like notice and I'm like, yo, so then I'm trying to joke myself out of it again. I'm like, oh, that's crazy. You must be a devil worshiper. So um, she was like, straight face like, Yeah, I'm sitting there. Eyes. Big as heck like your look. So coincidentally, I had a science class in that same building in like, 20 minutes. I had never been happier to go to my class. Like I was literally what you want to turn turn you down me down a little bit? Yeah, gotcha. Let me let me turn myself down a little bit. Boop. So then, I'm sitting there. I like I said, I've never been happier to get to my science labs, but I'm like, Okay, let me not freak out. I mean, like, not make her uncomfortable. And she was she also I don't even think I've told y'all this part of the story. She went on a rant on how like her family went through, like a lot of mental issues and, and her well, I think her mom had like, had a mental breakdown on a bus or whatever. And like her family believes in demonic stuff. It was a big way. It was a big wormhole of stuff to get down. But I eventually walked her out because I had class in that building. So I didn't leave the building. But I walked her to the door if you know, the dining, or the big building was a dining hall, Brody Hall. I walked there near the doors by the bus stop. And then I sprinted to my science class. I'm like, I am in fear. I am scared. I was thrown aback or whatever saying you want to say but other than that, I'm taken aback by it. Yeah. I'm so discombobulated from even telling that story. Again. It's thrown off or taken and back thrown back. Throwing it back, listen. She Abadi she showed her panties. She's a good ideally. Should Natalie listen to ice spice but literally all day, I hope she gave metaphase either her sexy Rooney. Best New Artist from the Grammys. Listen, either. Who else would you vote? We've been in the office since 230. It's 541. And he has literally been singing that all day. She said can I daily Okay. Other than that I have shot on IE she's a close friend of mine. I've known her since 10th grade. And if you know if you call back to the story of me dating someone who was polyamorous the young lady who I'm still a friend She's person see now she's person. So that person see shadow night you should we're still close to this day, and I still have never met her she lives in I don't know if I'm going to give her state just for safety. But she doesn't live in Michigan. And we still we communicate nearly every day. And we still have a close relationship and it's online. We never met each other and whether it's situations like that or like if you're a gamer and you may like PlayStation parties. Sometimes you hear like the phrase like online friends we bet any IRL IRL friends sometimes, and it's just so cool that you can make relationships with people and not even meet them at all. Yeah, but the thing is, I think romantic relationships are different from friendships when it comes to being online. really explain. Yes, also real quick Satanism as a religion or lifestyle is really fascinating. Oh, yeah, we talked about that to me in our first recording. We didn't mean to say like, Oh, she was a devil worshiper. How dare she that's totally fine. We just both happen to have been raised Christian so hearing somebody be a devil with like just say out loud I'm a devil worshiper is kind of insane thought you were raised Catholic.
(Elle) Catholics are Christian
(Anthony and Elle) All right my for my bobby forgetting. I'm sorry. I'll be forgetting I do be forgetting like the original Christian. Yeah. Crazy. That's it. James faces Greg. Oh, cuz I forget cuz I was raised nondenominational so I'll be like, Oh, Catholic, that must be so awful. But yeah, it's fine.
(Elle) But yeah, that's why we seem to be we are thrown around a bit and started saying that. We were taken aback by that story and has nothing to do with our personal like, we're not like oh, Satanists are horrible. No, they're not. I'm sure they're lovely people just not what we're used to. Yeah, but I think I like relationships are different between friendships and romance because a lot of the time and not all of the time so if this doesn't apply to you, it's fine. A lot of the time romantic relationships usually involve some form of physical intimacy. So like kissing or intercourse or anything in between you can't do that online I'm the alpha and everything in between right women not home do a lot check it with me Yeah, it's been it's actually been a crazy day bum been not as you see I'm feeling better today. We every song just every bit of trigger song, but any way. So sorry. I'm sorry. It's making me laugh. I just forgot what I was gonna say now. I'm had to sum up everything in between shoot. Right, right whereas friendships you know, usually don't. Unless you got benefits you never know, you know, but that's to me that still is not a normal friendship then. So having online friends like I was talking about how I have a friend, my best friend in high school shout out Emma. Emma Lee or no, just Oh, really? Okay. Just Emma. I do have a high school friend Emily though. But also Hi Emily. Shout out. Emma, my high school best friend. She was an online long distance relationship with Skye. They're actually married now. Wow. They just moved to Virginia. Oh, I know. Very happy for them. They have a cat and a dog channel. She likes crochet. She's like really living her best life. I'm very happy for her. But I do miss her a lot. But they were in North Carolina because he was stationed there. I'm just telling their business. Well, I didn't say the city or anything. He was stationed there. But now he's stationed in Arlington. So they live in Virginia. Yeah, but that their online relationship worked out very well for them. They didn't. I'm getting married. Do you remember how they met? What like what form of media? I'm actually not sure. But it was like in middle school. Oh, wow. So they're like middle school sweethearts. Long High School? Yeah. I mean, they didn't start dating, I think till we were sophomores. Anyway, but they're like some people. It works out extremely well, some people. Like it doesn't work out. Well. I mean, some people like I had an amicable breakup. Some people I assume it like blows okay, amicable? Have you said, well see, the thing about having amicable breakups is like you can't really relate to all those breakup songs where it's like, I know you were trouble you want right? Because it's like, I knew it wasn't going to work out but I still enjoyed our time together. Like that doesn't work that does not have the same ring to it. I'm assuming that we're EMIC how you say it. amicable amicable. That means like a mutual like mutual ending type of thing. One person broke up with the other it was me I got dumped but whatever. Like it was the right thing to do. We're not friends anymore, but I don't hate her. Which is that still a great thing to take away from him? Yeah, it was just it didn't work out. I'm like you need to get in the gym more type thing what you said it didn't work out so it needs to get there it'll maybe this episode be like this isn't anything like the other episode? Maybe you know outline today because I'm sick.
(Anthony) So you know how you like Hear me out. So you know, I didn't you're in different countries type thing. So maybe y'all are in different countries. I had to meet at Planet Fitness. So we could have worked out
(Elle) oh my god, actually, that was kind of funny. Okay, um, yeah, so that's why I think the online friendships are wonderful, but me personally, I don't think I could do another long distance relationship. My boyfriend now lives like an hour and away and I hate it.
(Anthony) And I don't think I don't know if I reiterated this from the last recording onto this one. But I also personally couldn't do online relationships or like long distance relationships because I call it like one of my non negotiables of just one thing. The first one is cheating and I couldn't stay or be with a relationship with a cheater you would think it's obvious but see
(Elle) I don't I say obvious. Things like if we've been married for like 25 years and we had multiple children together. Like am I like dating someone they cheat on you? You break up? Fine ripping your life apart getting divorced. Like I'd like to say that I would absolutely 100% Do it. But we really can't say anything about anyone's situation until we know how they feel.
(Anthony) Yeah, so if people again another disclaimer if you choose to stay in that type of relationship as long as you're healthy and happy it is what it is we personally couldn't do it and then other non negotiable was just long distance just with how I show my love and just how I want my love reciprocated it would be pretty difficult to be in a relationship long distance by the way I can't I don't remember but just in case I don't know if I say reciprocated when I met reiterate I don't know if I don't know you said okay brocade is correct reiterate means restate what I'm saying earlier I don't I meant to say reiterate. I don't know if I said reciprocate. I don't know. I just think if I did when you set it right. Okay, cool. Yeah, smart to point it out. Yeah. But regardless of situations that may have happened, whether they're online in person in general, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. I know obviously nuance and context makes it way more difficult than just that black and white statement or just that general statement. But just if it does work for you this I find it a pretty cool thing because I've always admire people who can do things I can't do even when it comes to like drawing are like other simple things. But if you can make a long distance relationship work like we're in a room with somebody who pretty much had to make it work for a period of time referring to Jada and Stephens relationship, there was a point where they were long distance and coincident. How what was the How long was the distance difference?
(Jada) Wait, wait, can I talk?
(Anthony) mattify come join. Make sure you get try and get a bit closer for the phone. Oh, we
(All three) got a low voice tune so stop low. closer to the mic. My voice do drop. Star. Okay Picasa. Okay, I like a Picasso. Okay, hold on. I saw where didn't it?
(Jada) Yeah, um, I will consider that long distance. He was in Kentucky. I was in Michigan. Oh, you know, that was a good five and a half six hours away. Yeah. Me going to college and going there for college. You know, he did not want to be there.
(Elle) I'm gonna need to talk to Stevie about that story later. But it's interesting. You point that out because we were talking about same state. Five hours to Kentucky you could like I'm reading this. I'm reading this one of the stories. I think Miranda wrote this. Oh my gosh, I don't Miranda Cosgrove. Why would it be Miranda caught? Why would she have written a story for the state news and Miranda Dunlap, our former co she's in Houston living her best life. Take her take me with you. For real. I've always wanted to go to Texas. Um, she interviewed somebody who? I think it was her. Oh, here, here it is. My bad. So my bad. I was turning the headphones off. Because I was taking them on off. I forgot you. I still have them on my voice just cut out and scare me. She interviewed somebody and I was like, Oh, they were dating somebody at Michigan Tech, which is seven hours away. Wow. Seven on a while I'm still talking. So even though I said earlier, I was like, Oh, the same state? Well, even even that, so that's to me as long distance. Um, but the thing about long distance relationships is and I think you would agree with this. Usually there's like an end goal in mind. Like, at a certain point, we will live together. Yeah, we will inhabit the same space. And the ones that have worked that usually what happened is that that's what happened when my friend got married. She and they live together, obviously. And just to confirm to call back to data one more time. Would you ever do it again? Long distance? Because you've told me an answer. I want to see if it stayed the same. Oh, no. The answer she gave me.
(All three) I kind of said nope. A little too fast. Okay, okay. directly into the phone. When the phone has been on the table the whole time. The volume levels are gonna be vastly different. I'll take care of master but you know he he wants to make more work for himself. You go to Bruno, you should see where he'd be nice to leave yelling. Anyway, this just a whole bunch of cut up. For sleep cut out me when I was a kid on me who knew it?
(Jada) Okay. For Stevie would I do it again? Yeah, because I'm madly in love. And I'm doing Oh, but somebody else told me to do it. Absolutely. At double hockey sticks. No, absolutely not
(Anthony) Understandable
(Elle) It's not for the weak.
(Anthony) It's not. Listen, wait, work out the whole joke. Listen, you need to be strong. You need to be strong to get it done. But yeah. With that being said, we're almost at the 30 minute mark. Do you have any other like additional thoughts? I don't know.
(Elle) I feel like maybe we could do an episode at the end, where we go back and listen through all of our episodes and talk about stuff that we might have missed. Oh, that'd be so dumb. Because we didn't have an outline today. I feel like there's definitely things that I meant to say and forgot to say so we
(Anthony) especially with us losing the recording. This just got we bounced back. I'm glad Jada meant like that was about a half an hour. Let's make sure it like make it softer. Yeah. Perfect. With that being said again, shout out Jada for catching the fact that the computer stopped recording. I'm gonna try and talk to Chris twice. Yeah. And try and talk to Chris see if we can check to see if he can find out what's wrong. Peter is not sex positive. It's one of the haters. Have you ever watched South Park? No. I was gonna make a joke. And I've barely watched it either. But yeah, yes, of course. It's hilarious. I found it funny, but it's just it's literally just kids circles, little circles that don't look like that. It's unsettling dog Shut up the grid is a software. With that being said.
(Elle) We're always gonna take a deep dive but sometimes it's nice to come up for air.
(Anthony) This has been the go on deeper podcast
(Elle) Thank you