Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
It all started in Fairbanks, Alaska...two soul sisters destined to meet and become lifelong friends. This podcast is in celebration of the BEST FRIEND relationship - a relationship so important, yet not always recognized for its massive significance. Leisa and Tamara interview other best friends to learn how they met and hear their perspectives on friendship.
Hey, besties. My name is Leisa
Tamara:And my name is Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa:Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing up in good old Fairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara:And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa:That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some fun, friendly conversations with the bestest of best friends.
Tamara:We'll talk about how we became best friends, our experiences together, and have other best friends on the show to share how they met. Who knows? You never
Leisa:know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara:Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa:Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF. It's Lisa, and I'm flying solo again. Tamara is working at the winery and, helping people because she's an amazing person. And I can't wait to have her back on our show when we start recording in a couple weeks. But I do have an update, and this is this is something that happened so happenstance, and that's just sort of how life goes sometimes.
Leisa:So for years, for many, many years, many, many years, people have tell been telling me I should be a stand up comedian. They're like, you're so funny. You should be a stand up comedian. And I say, well, thank you, but I just can't remember anything funny that I say. So I don't I don't think that's in my future, nor do I really have a dream of being a stand up comedian.
Leisa:But as luck would have it, I met a woman who is a manager of a comedy club in Vegas, and she is helping me. She offered generously to help me create a, like, a 3 minute set of stand up comedy. And my agreement is to perform it at an open mic night. And so she is helping me come up with something, and I've been starting to remember and really jot down and record the like, oh, yeah. That's funny that I said that.
Leisa:Oh, that's funny. So, anyway, I I think I I don't know when I'm gonna get my HBO special, but I will at least get a spot on the open mic night at least one time. So that is my new and exciting news. And I don't know if I'm gonna make it public or not. I mean, I'll share it with my friends, but I'm not sure how how public it'll be.
Leisa:So stay tuned, besties. I am very excited to have our guests on the show today because one of the guests is my very, very good friend and one of my best friends, Wendy, and she has been talking about being on the show for, I think, before it even started. So I'm extraordinarily excited to meet one of her best friends, Laurie, on the show. And welcome, Wendy and Laurie. Hi.
Wendy Barr:Hi.
Leisa:So Nice to meet you. Yeah. Nice to meet you too. It's so fun as our circles grow. Laurie, I wanna hear from you first because I I already know a little bit of the story from Wendy.
Leisa:So I'd love to hear your perspective of how you and Wendy and I won't even say became friends because you have such a unique way in which you were brought into each other's orbit. So kick us off, Laurie. How did you and Wendy meet?
Lori Cohen:Well, our mothers were best friends in high school, and, they raved havoc on the streets together. And, they stayed friends forever and ever, and we were born. So Wendy will tell everybody that we have known each other since I was born, since she's a year and a half older. There used to be a bathtub picture of the 2 of us babies in the tub, and she used to take showers with me until she got pubes. And then she was like, you can't take a shower with me.
Leisa:Okay. We were just diving in right away. Okay. Love it.
Lori Cohen:Right away.
Leisa:Wow. Okay. So, Wendy, do you wanna fill I know so we've gone to a certain age, but do you wanna fill us in on your side of the story?
Wendy Barr:Yes. Well, first of all, I only had one pube. There's just the one. But still, that vetoed any interaction in the shower. It's like, no.
Wendy Barr:Don't get don't get don't. You don't understand. You're younger. So, yeah. So yeah.
Wendy Barr:And I did wanna say, that one of the reasons I scheduled for today is that it if, it's my mom's birthday. My mom passed away about 10 years ago. Can you believe it's been that long, Laura? But, so I thought it would be fun for Laurie and I to, record today. But yeah.
Wendy Barr:So exactly. We met when, we were thrown together as babies and the interesting thing is that our moms grew apart and, and later in life, I mean, they were they saw each other every once in a while. They were cordial, they were friendly, but they weren't tight. And I feel like Laurie and I stayed tight, through our whole lives. There were there were little times, like, in high school or junior high that I was like, oh, Laurie, you can't hang out with me and my mature friends.
Wendy Barr:You're you're too young. You don't understand us. And and I would exclude her and her her feelings, but, but then we always found our way back together. Always. We were always like sisters.
Wendy Barr:I always think of ourselves as like we're we are as different as we are alike. We are so we are exactly like sisters would be. So I'm so grateful. I'm an only child. So
Leisa:So, Gloria, what what do you think you guys have in so if you're so alike and so different, like, what are some of the things that you have that are alike? And then let's talk about what's different.
Lori Cohen:I would say that growing up, we loved partying and playing and going to concerts. I mean, we saw them all from Black Sabbath to Lynyrd Skynyrd to the Grateful Dead. We just went to everything together. So I wouldn't say we were I I was excluded completely. It was when she was hanging out with boys, and I wasn't ready for that.
Lori Cohen:And she was having fun, and I was like, yeah. Go have fun. But we differently like, she's a big business person. I I work for a band, and I'm their agent. And she's been wanting me to do me, which is I'm I'm definitely a healer, but I chose to work with the band and kinda heal in that sense.
Lori Cohen:So she's definitely big time business entrepreneur, and I'm just kinda hanging out and knowing abundance is gonna come my way.
Leisa:Well, that's a great belief to have, though. What a powerful belief. And, you know, you don't have healers or I mean, I'm a healer too, but how I do it is different. I'm not, like, putting hands on someone or, like, what traditionally people would think, but I heal just because of the frequency that I I bring to the table for my clients. They don't even know that it's happening.
Leisa:I don't even need to say that I'm a healer. They don't need to know. They just know that, oh, they feel better and they feel more confident and all that. So I'm imagining that you do a lot of that for the whole crew and the whole experience. Right?
Leisa:Do you do you tell them that that's what you're doing, or do you just kinda keep it on the deal? Yeah.
Lori Cohen:No. But they I'm a you know, people will use the word manifest, but I'm a creator. I think it's it's a powerful word creating. And, my singer will sometimes be a little negative, and I'll be like, look. I'm creating abundance here, so just be quiet and know it is.
Wendy Barr:And,
Lori Cohen:you know, but I also on the streets, I see somebody broke down on the side of the road. I send them the violet flame, and, you know, I'm I'm always, I see a homeless person, and I bow to them and give them love. You know, that's healing. So
Wendy Barr:Wow. Lori heals every single person she comes in contact with from her friends to her acquaintances to strangers. And I'll tell you this from experience is that there is nothing better than a hug from Laurie. Just the way the energy that I feel when she wraps her arms around me and the way the way she smells always like essential oils and love and just I mean, there is nothing better than a hug from miss Lori. And she's I'm the one that always going, well, you know, try to preserve some of your energy, Lori.
Wendy Barr:You're giving too much right now and that's why you're healthy. You know, like, if she's not feeling well, I'll be like, well, what it you know, what's going on in your life? And she's like, literally saying, I'm giving to this person. I'm giving to that person. I'm giving to and I'm like, okay, Laurie.
Wendy Barr:Can you just, like, hone in just for a minute and give yourself some of that energy because she doesn't know when to stop because she is just that person, that giving, loving, healing, wonderful human.
Leisa:Wow. That's so cool that you're helping all those people and very thoughtful too with it and, like, intentional. I love that. And and creating healing kinda wherever you are. That's that's really a great way to give your gift.
Leisa:I love that. What, so, Wendy, what do you what do you think when you think about the how you're very similar and very different? What what comes to mind for you?
Wendy Barr:Yeah. I I think Laurie kinda nailed it. I mean, we, we both love rock and roll and concerts and, we're both super creative. We like to play. We like to have fun.
Wendy Barr:We're both caring and giving and loving people. But then that piece that's a little different is that, Lori has kids. I never had kids. And, and so my businesses that I've my businesses have always been my babies that I birthed. And, you know, and so it's true that every time anytime Laurie was, like, in between, like, what should I do with my life or where should I go professionally?
Wendy Barr:I'm like, okay. Here, I'll build you a business. We're gonna start here and then we're gonna do this and then we're gonna do that. We're gonna and then she's like, yeah. I'm not doing any of that.
Wendy Barr:And then I'm I'm like, oh, don't worry. I spent so much time developing that for you. And she's like, yeah. I love you for that, but I'm not doing that. So yeah.
Wendy Barr:But I think that as we got a little bit older, you know, it got to that point where we I think we became more accepting of of who we are and even our differences. It's like, oh, I love that about you. I'm not that, but I love that about you. We really, embraced each other's personalities. We've been through everything together.
Wendy Barr:We have been through marriages and divorces and the birth of children and the biggest screw ups of our lives and life changing adventures. Those are some good ones. Let's talk about those adventures.
Leisa:Okay. Let's talk about some life changing adventures.
Wendy Barr:Okay. I was hoping you'd ask that, Lisa.
Lori Cohen:Oh, so psychic.
Wendy Barr:So when we were teenagers, this is my favorite one, although we have lots of them. But when we were teenagers, I think I was 16 maybe and Laurie was 15 and, we decided that we wanted to go to Aspen. We were gonna we lived in Denver. We were gonna go to Aspen and and we, told our parents that we were earning the money to go to Aspen by selling macrame pot hangers or plant hangers. So we were like going door to door selling these plant hangers and what we make like $15 but we lied to our parents and we told them that sorry mom, that we and I had made so much money that we were going to take the train or the train up to Aspen and that we were going to and we had a hotel and we had this 2 week or 3 week or whatever it was summer vacation planned and they believed us and we said now you've gotta trust us that we're gonna be independent so you can't call us at the hotel.
Wendy Barr:This was before cell phones of course. Don't call us, we'll call you. And to prove to us that you trust us, don't call us. Well, we had no money, none, like hardly any. So we hitchhiked up to Aspen from Denver and that alone is a story.
Wendy Barr:And then when we got up there, we couldn't afford to stay in a hotel. So we had we were camping in the woods with a bunch of hippies that were selling drugs on the streets of Aspen and we were like, really? We can make money like that? We need money. We're like, okay.
Wendy Barr:So we'll sell your drugs too. And we were like I mean, our we if we wanted to eat while we were in Aspen, we we stole. We were going to the store and we would hide chips under our shirt or whatever we and our parents didn't know, and they trusted us, and we called them regularly from the pay phone. And oh my god.
Leisa:How long were you up there?
Wendy Barr:2 weeks, 3 weeks. It was 2 gosh. 2 weeks. And then he
Lori Cohen:In between our trip, we hit to red rocks to go see the dead. And we got this guy that was gonna take us only a little ways and ended up driving us all the way to Morrison. And he had a, cooler with every kind of booze you could think of. And I'm steadily making him drinks while he's driving us like maniacs, but it was much safer than our ride, our our hitchhike on the way out there because we got a pervert, and it was really spooky. And then we got a a a truck full of hippies, so it made it all better.
Lori Cohen:But, of course, we had to have a suitcase, our purses, a sign, a big tent, big sleeping bags. Like, we had a pile of stuff that we're drawing in.
Wendy Barr:We could want. No. We couldn't walk like, you know, like, you walk with your backpack, with your thumb out. No. We had a giant heap of of we've never did it before.
Wendy Barr:We didn't and our sleeping bags are not like these days that they can fold up as small as a jacket. No. They were like those big old and the tent was we had to call a friend to come and get some of our stuff so that we could finish our little adventure.
Lori Cohen:Wow. Yep. I So we did did. Oh, I know. Oh my god.
Lori Cohen:I did tell my mother years later. Me too. We, we had to hitch back up to Aspen because all our stuff was still there. And, we left our stuff. There's like this sign where you go to look at Aspen's, and then it says do not trespass.
Lori Cohen:Well, that's where we passed. And we went and we we had this perfect spot. The the picture where you look straight up and you see the trees and the sky, that's what we had. And it was magical. I I would die if my 15 year old would have done what I did.
Lori Cohen:But Thank you. We felt so protected. It was crazy how we just Wendy always got me into these things, I tell you. It was all her fault. And talked me into these crazy things.
Lori Cohen:And I was like, oh, okay. Let's go. And we did.
Wendy Barr:I'm like I'm like, don't worry, Laurie. I have a knife strapped to my cap. So if anything happens, I got this knife and it was hidden under my pant leg. Yeah. It was just this little thing.
Wendy Barr:And so when
Lori Cohen:we Wait.
Leisa:Hold on. Let me get my knife.
Wendy Barr:When we when we got picked up by that pervert truck driver, we had all of our gear and it was all in the back and so he goes, I was like, pull over. Pull over right now and you let us out. You let us out. So he pulls over and Laurie's sitting in the middle and so I'm thinking to myself, if I jump out, what's to stop him from pulling off with Laurie in the car? So we were holding hands really tight and I just threw all of our stuff out onto the street without leaving her even for a second and we held hands and we jumped out.
Wendy Barr:We were like, oh my god. Oh, that sounds so scary. So scary. Like, I don't know what we were thinking, which like like Laurie said, her kid never. But, yeah, we,
Lori Cohen:We had a bubble of protection that just took care of us no matter what journey we were on. You know, we were one time we were looking for mushrooms for her birthday, and I'm like, fuck. We're turning cow poop over to see if we could find mushrooms. And we're like
Wendy Barr:I'm like, Laurie, I hear it grows in cow dung, you know, like silly mushrooms. And so I'm like, Laurie, I hear they grow in so we're out there in some cow field and we're like flipping over. Well, little did we know it only grows, like, in the dew of the early morning. And we were, like, in the middle of the afternoon just flipping over hot dung. And we
Lori Cohen:cows looking at us like, what? Who are you?
Wendy Barr:Oh my god.
Lori Cohen:Funny. Oh my god. Yeah.
Leisa:That's so fun. So how did you how I mean so that's when you're younger, and then how do you maintain the friendship as you, you know, start to not be in school together and your, you know, lives can take you apart. But how did you guys maintain that closeness?
Lori Cohen:I would say that it you know, we've had our our hit and misses where we have kind of separated a little bit, but not really. Like, we've always stayed in touch no matter where we lived. You know, Gwen lives in in California, and I'm in Colorado. So, but we do get to see each other quite a bit. But throughout our lives, I mean, I'm gonna be 62 this December.
Lori Cohen:So it's been a long journey. And I don't I I guess, like her saying that we're sisters, I don't see my life without her. And, you know, when something's going on, I hello. I need to talk.
Wendy Barr:Mhmm.
Lori Cohen:Would you add to that? I don't
Wendy Barr:Yeah. I just feel like there's something can something connect. Our energies are connected. And so, we don't life changes and life happenings don't occur without us filling each other in whether it's a text or it's a phone call or, you know, it's the most important thing when I go to Denver to visit family. It's like seeing Laurie is the most important thing.
Wendy Barr:And it's really beautiful because she bonded immediately with my husband, Eric. And Laurie and Eric have their own relationships separate from me. They text each other and call each other. And and so, like, Eric thinks of Laurie as his sister as well. So it really it's just we're just family.
Wendy Barr:We're just our family.
Leisa:Yes.
Wendy Barr:Beautiful. The same with Laurie's husband. I love him, and I've been close to him since she met him. And I'm close to her kids since they were born.
Leisa:What about your, your moms? You said they kinda grew apart, but then, like and, Laurie, is your mom still with us? Or
Wendy Barr:He is.
Leisa:Yeah. She's 84. Wow. And did they ever rekindle before Wendy's mom passed?
Lori Cohen:You know, I don't know if it was considered rekindling because I think my mother drove Barbara crazy. But they definitely loved each other, and they always loved each other. So there was always that friendship right there, that kinship. And, them growing up was just they've got some wild stories too. I mean Yeah.
Lori Cohen:You know? They were in City Park escaping from the police, and they got away.
Wendy Barr:Or remember, like, when my mom my mom like, I was late to be delivered. My mom really wanted to deliver me. So her so my mom and Lori's mom went on the roller coaster at elliches so that she tried to induce labor because my mother wanted me to come out. And I I mean, when I was growing up, my mom I was raised by a single mom. My mom and dad divorced while I was still very young, like, maybe 5.
Wendy Barr:And so and Laurie's mom and dad were still together. So I spent a lot of time at Laurie's house and Laurie has a brother and a sister. I spent a lot of time there while my mom worked or whatever she was doing, figuring out life. And, and so it was so much more than just going to school together. We were, like, really part of each other's lives, and our very first love was Elvis.
Wendy Barr:And Laurie had a poster Laurie had a poster of above her bed, of Elvis, you know, shaking his pelvis. And so we had this game that we played and we were real young at that point and we would be doing anything in the house and playing the piano or watching TV or outside in the backyard or whatever. We'd we'd just look at each other and we'd go, who do we love? And we'd both scream, what the hell did you notice? And we'd run-in the house and we jump on our bed and we'd kiss the poster all over and it was yeah.
Wendy Barr:Like, we we had so much. We've always had so much fun together.
Leisa:Oh, I love that. You know? Yeah. It's it's it's just such a special thing when you can maintain a connection like that for, basically, over 60 years. That's what has occurred here is what I'm hearing.
Wendy Barr:Yep. Oh, good. Yeah.
Leisa:What, Lori, what would you wish for Wendy? Or, Laura, what would you wish for when?
Lori Cohen:Just joy. Just to enjoy life, have fun, and just be. Beautiful. That's all you meant.
Leisa:What what do you wish for?
Wendy Barr:Health and a long life so that we can spend that time together because I want us to both live to over a 100 and, because I can't imagine my life without her either. So, and we went through our share last year with my best friend, another best friend of mine, Amy, passing away at, like, only 56, and my dad, and my cousins, and it really makes you aware of the people that are in your life and how precious those friendships are. And yeah. I I agree.
Leisa:Is there anything sorry. Is there anything, Laurie, that you wanna say to Wendy? Like, you know, what you're grateful to her for?
Lori Cohen:I'm I'm so grateful just to have you as my BFF win. And and just I always know that you're there for me no matter what, and that is just priceless.
Wendy Barr:Oh, thanks, Flor. I feel the same exact way about you. It's it's nice to know that because I feel like we we can put our friends in like certain categories like this is a friend I would talk to about business. This is a friend I had talked to about personal. This is a friend I might talk to about working out or or this is a person that I go out and party with only, but I wouldn't really get all that deep with them.
Wendy Barr:But then you have your friends like Laurie and like you, Lisa, that I feel personally that I can connect on every single level with, with Laurie and with you, Lisa. Because and I'm so blessed that I have made this friendship in California because Laurie knows I was very lonely for a long time when we first moved to California because my closest friends are are in Denver. But, for Lori, a long, healthy, wonderful life full of joy and love. I want her to be loved and feel loved.
Leisa:Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, I know you're not in the same state now, but if you were together, what what do you guys do when you get together?
Lori Cohen:Just hang out. Maybe go get something to eat.
Wendy Barr:Mhmm. Well, we would go to we would go to festivals. Go to what? O'Toole. Yeah.
Wendy Barr:Like, go to a tool concert or a 9 inch nails concert. And, Lori loves, like, festivals and, like, farmers markets and crafts shows, and we would probably be at one of those if if there was one and a concert if there was one or, yeah. Anything's fun.
Leisa:That's so fun. I love how you guys met. It's you're the first in utero friendship I well, and I guess, maybe it's not in utero because you weren't in this in utero together separate, you know, at the same time. But the first
Wendy Barr:We're certainly babies.
Leisa:Yeah. We had another set of friends who were sisters. So they that's the closest I could say to what to what your story is. But not being blood related that you were able to maintain a friendship for 6 decades, that's a really, really long time as far
Lori Cohen:as in most marriages.
Wendy Barr:Marriages and boyfriends. Absolutely. We yeah. We did everything. We did all the experimenting, everything together.
Lori Cohen:Yeah.
Leisa:And and I love that you were able to ebb and flow and give each other grace through those, you know, adolescent decisions. Let's just say, we're not always at our best, you know, through life and that you were able to still come back and heal from that or just maintain your friendship through that, develop trust through that is is really beautiful. I'm so grateful that you're here on our show. And to our besties listening, honestly, you you don't need to meet your best friend from when you're born, but maybe you did and you just haven't found them yet. Maybe maybe you lost touch with them.
Leisa:So that's interesting. I don't have to think about that one. Love you guys. Thank you so much for being in the show, and we will see you all on our next episode. Bye.
Lori Cohen:Yay. Bye. Bye.
Leisa:Hey, bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, be sure to hit that subscribe button to get notified of new episodes and check out cool Bestie gift ideas at how I met my bff.com.
Tamara:That's right. And also, leave us a review. Those reviews help us out a lot and are one of the best ways to support us.
Leisa:Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your BFF, send us an email at info at how I met my bff.com. We would love to hear about it.
Tamara:Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next episode.
Leisa:That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara:Love you, BFFs.