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The podcast for high-level leaders carrying the invisible weight of the world.
If you’re a founder, executive, or high-ranking leader, you already know this truth: the higher you rise, the fewer people you can safely talk to.
Lonely at the Top is a sanctuary in the storm—a space where the emotional cost of leadership is named, and where relief, clarity, and grounded support are always on the table.
Hosted by Soul Medic and former psychotherapist Rachel Alexandria, this podcast dives into the unspoken realities of high-level decision-making: the pressure, the isolation, the doubt, and the fatigue. Each episode offers insight, emotional tools, and conversations with seasoned leaders who’ve learned to navigate the weight of responsibility without losing themselves.
[00:00:00] Ricky Powell: from that moment on, I never knew when, where, why, how I would ever need this information, but I just knew that I needed to just start emailing myself home, "Today he lied about this. Today he lied about that. I kept meticulous records and I never knew when I was gonna need it and sure enough , nine years later was when everything was about to cave in and those emails saved my life I am not gonna let him bully me out of the best job I've ever had."
[00:00:31] Rachel Alexandria: Welcome to Lonely at the Top, a podcast for high-level leaders carrying the invisible weight of the world because you know the higher you rise, the fewer people you have to safely talk to. Here, we welcome founders, executives, and decision-makers who feel the isolation and pressure that comes with power. Lonely at the Top is your sanctuary in the storm, and I'm your host, executive coach and former psychotherapist, Rachel Alexandria. [00:01:00] Today on the podcast, we have Ricky Powell, an executive happiness coach and culture transformation strategist. Ricky helps leaders build workplaces where people know they are seen, heard, and valued.
[00:01:15] He's known as the Happiness Architect. Love that. And he spent 25 years inside of NBC Universal, including nine of those under a supervisor whose motto was divide and conquer. Personal development saved Ricky's sanity, his career, and his life, and he believes it belongs in every company. He wrote Happiness Rocks, created the AIRR method, and works through keynotes, workshops, and coaching.
[00:01:46] I am so excited to hear about your experience, Ricky. Thanks for joining us on the show.
[00:01:53] Ricky Powell: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Rayell. I'm so glad to be here
[00:01:57] Rachel Alexandria: And so I always like to talk about how [00:02:00] I know people on the show because it can be a variety of things. It can be a, client, it can be somebody I met through networking, it can be somebody I'm in a group with. You and I met through a very interesting, so I guess trigger warning if you're not into AI.
[00:02:16] We met through an AI networking app called Boardy. So Boardy is a thing that, my husband introduced me to, and you just, like, send it an email with some of your information, and then it goes out and sends emails introducing, like, asking if you wanna meet people. And Ricky sounded interesting
[00:02:39] Ricky Powell: Well, and have you, used the voice function yet, by the way? Have you tried... Oh, Rachel, do yourself a favor. You have got to talk to Bordy because there's nothing like it. I mean, normally 99% of what I do, using Bordy is text, like you were talking about, text or email. But when you have a [00:03:00] conversation , just to let him get to know you, right, and all of that, pretty phenomenal.
[00:03:05] Yeah
[00:03:06] Rachel Alexandria: Boardy suggested something to me recently about getting on X, and I lectured it, and I was like, "Absolutely not, and here's why."
[00:03:15] Ricky Powell: Right
[00:03:16] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's an interesting way... You know, I've had a couple meetings with people that I've met through Boardy,
[00:03:24] and, you know, AI matchmaker or not, people are still people. And I got to meet Ricky, who has a really rich history, and so I am super excited to get to know more. I'll be discovering more along with all of our listeners
[00:03:41] Ricky Powell: Thank you so much, Rachel
[00:03:43] Rachel Alexandria: When you told me that you worked at NBC Universal for 25 years, I mean, I'm a big entertainment person. I get, super interested in that kind of thing. my dad used to work in the entertainment business, so I've been adjacent for most [00:04:00] of my life. Like,
[00:04:01] Ricky Powell: Yeah
[00:04:02] Rachel Alexandria: my godfather's a soap opera star, you know?
[00:04:05] Ricky Powell: I love that.
[00:04:06] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah
[00:04:07] Ricky Powell: might I ask which soap opera?
[00:04:09] Rachel Alexandria: Days of Our Li- or no, One Life to Live. One
[00:04:12] Ricky Powell: Oh, Yeah, it was a, it was a while.
[00:04:13] Rachel Alexandria: He's no longer there, but he was for a long time.
[00:04:16] Ricky Powell: No, I got excited because I put every episode of Days of Our Lives on the air for all those years, so
[00:04:21] Rachel Alexandria: know. I see, I must have known. I'm like, "Which one's NBC?" No, he was on, I think, wasn't One Life to Live ABC? I don't remember anymore.
[00:04:29] Ricky Powell: Right. That's what's happening. Yeah
[00:04:34] Rachel Alexandria: So what was the, I mean, I'm sure people are curious, like can you tell us about the roles you had in your corporate life? just give us a little bit of background
[00:04:44] Ricky Powell: Absolutely. and by the way, that was already my second career because I started my first career as a child actor at the age of seven, that was my childhood dream, was I pointed to the TV one day and said, "I wanna be in there." And that was kid talk for, "I wanna be an [00:05:00] actor."
[00:05:00] And so, I became best friends with a kid who was on a series at the time, and his dad helped me get an agent, so I started doing shows like "Bewitched" and "Mod Squad" and "Rockford Files," there were so many, and commercials and a couple of movies, and I just had such a great time. Got to work with a lot of legends, which was pretty amazing.
[00:05:19] And then by the age of 20, I was already looking at my plan B, because things slowed down and, you know, you, you gotta make sure that you've got a livelihood in front of you. And so, another friend of mine then helped get me into "The Golden Girls" right after we graduated college together. So at first I was on "The Golden Girls" for five years and worked my way up.
[00:05:41] But when I started, I was delivering The Golden Girls," which had just launched, to NBC every week as a runner, and then I got in the Directors Guild. Five years later, I was delivering the show as a client, and that's how I got to know them at NBC.
[00:05:57] Rachel Alexandria: Can you explain to those of us who aren't in [00:06:00] the industry, what does delivering a show mean?
[00:06:02] Ricky Powell: Great question. And it's certainly, that definition has certainly changed, over the years. So it started with the production company physically delivering tape. And when I started, it was one-inch tape, like reel-to-reel one-inch tape of the show, of the master. and then the department that I was in was program preparation, and what that meant was I would note the ins and the outs for where all the acts, act breaks went and the commercials and all of that through the whole show.
[00:06:33] I used to tell people I, I used to live my life in 30ths of a second 'cause there's 30 frames per second in video, but everything was based on the second, not the frame. So you had to round everything perfectly, whether you were going into a break or coming out of a break. And so that became my primary role along with branding everything.
[00:06:53] And that didn't even exist when I first got there. it was just the commercials and promos rolled in separately. [00:07:00] However, eventually they created a whole new department called NBC 2000, which sounded so futuristic. You know, I think it started in maybe '96 or '97, '98, somewhere in there. And that was about that whole transformation with end credits where they did the split screen, and on half they would show the credits, and on the other half they would show entertainment or promos or whatever.
[00:07:26] Uh, start, it started left, right, kind of the way we are now, but then it became top and bottom. And so, essentially I was the liaison between all of the outside show producers and every internal team. So I was working with , broadcast standards, program scheduling, current programming, drama, comedy, reality, you know, broadcast operations, e-everyone, making sure that everyone was on the exact same page for how the show was gonna air
[00:07:55] Rachel Alexandria: Hmm. That sounds like a lot of responsibility
[00:07:59] Ricky Powell: [00:08:00] It was a ton of responsibility. one wrong keystroke and it could cost a million dollars because if a commercial's blown, you know, that's not good. Gotta pay 'em back, you know, with airing it again for free or, you know, whatever the case may be. But yeah, when I came in, I essentially was doing the job of five people.
[00:08:19] they reorganized the whole department to bring me in, what? I loved it though. I loved so much what I was doing. and then I'm sure we'll get into the, uh, the story of a love affair gone wrong.
[00:08:33] Rachel Alexandria: Well, yeah, let's talk about that because my next question is always what is a leadership season that tested you? And when we talked before the show, you told me in brief about a very intense season that was a huge test for you
[00:08:50] Ricky Powell: Yeah, it was an intense nine-year season. It was a long season.
[00:08:55] Rachel Alexandria: yeah,
[00:08:57] Ricky Powell: yeah, for my first nine years there, I [00:09:00] was working with a gentleman who I can only describe as a sociopath. I mean, we're talking about a pathological liar, backstabber pretending to be my friend the whole time, and then finding out later that he had just been stabbing me in the back trying to get rid of me, the, the whole thing.
[00:09:18] And Rachel, like, it was such a drama unto itself, and it was so painful .. and yet It's literally why we're having this conversation because it drove me to pick up my first book on the subject of happiness because what I'm thinking is, there's gotta be a way to try to help him be a little happier 'cause he was miserable, absolutely miserable.
[00:09:40] and of course, he was making me a little miserable too. But so I picked up my first book on the subject of happiness. I read it, became fascinated with it, and of course, he wanted nothing to do with it, but I took it and ran with it. I read every book, listened to every program. I wrote my own book in 2012, uh, as you mentioned, [00:10:00] and it was the best thing I had ever done, and that just kind of opened the floodgates.
[00:10:04] And long story short, after those nine years, because of an event that unfolded kind of perfectly, they ended up getting rid of him, and I went on another 17 years
[00:10:16] Rachel Alexandria: So, uh, so let's, let's kinda break this down. So you're working for a person who at first seems like he's your friend. Like, in the beginning, and this is always, almost always how it is, listeners. I mean, some people you know are toxic from the drop. That does happen, but there's plenty of people who seem friendly, you know, in fact extra helpful, extra caring, like really out there to be on your side, who then later turn out to have some kind of mental health disorder where it's, like they're Venus fly traps basically.
[00:10:50] "Come on in, the honey's so sweet. Yar,"
[00:10:53] and they get ya. So, Can you take us into what that was like for you? 'Cause I'm wondering if [00:11:00] people listening to this show might find that helpful. Like, what is that like to be in the position of a lot of responsibility and then realize that the main person above you, who was somebody fairly high up in the organization, right?
[00:11:13] Ricky Powell: Yeah. on the technical side, he was in NABET, which was one of the technical unions. I was in the Directors Guild. So It's not like we were even in direct competition . He really was not my boss. He just was the supervisor for the edit bay. and in fact, to that point, I always knew that I never really even needed to go to my boss necessarily about the day-to-day because I knew that he only cared about everything getting done and getting done perfectly, which I was grateful .
[00:11:44] I knew that I had to keep this other guy happy because otherwise, you know, it, just bedlam would ensue. And so I was always concentrating on not only doing my job, but helping him do his. I would do personal stuff for [00:12:00] him occasionally, typing his kids' sport rosters . I mean, I checked my ego every day at the door because I, I just wanted to keep him happy.
[00:12:08] Rachel Alexandria: And you couldn't go talk to your boss about this toxic person?
[00:12:13] Ricky Powell: Well, here's how that happened, if you like, I'll kind of... I was lucky enough that he pulled something on me so outrageous so early on that I knew that I could, from that point on, never trust him fully. And so what happened was, my daughter was three months old. She had just been born in Au- This was, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, which was always our busiest day of the year because I had to get out not just the next night's show, I had to get out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday daytime.
[00:12:46] I mean, it was like five times the work. And it was always a case where I was leaving when the sun was rising, you know? It, it took that long to do everything. And so I'm on my way in, and my [00:13:00] wife calls me i- in the car, and she said, "Our daughter is sick. I'm sick. Is there any way you can go in a, just a little later to help me?"
[00:13:07] So rather than call my boss, as I mentioned, I called this gentleman and I said, "Listen, if the answer is no, please tell me, but our daughter is sick. My wife is sick. Is it okay if I just help her for a few minutes and come in maybe an hour late tops? I know that I'm gonna be here till the sun rises anyway, so would that be okay?
[00:13:28] And if it isn't, let me know and I'll make other arrangements." He said, "Absolutely. You turn that car around this minute. your first responsibility is to your family. You take care of your daughter and your wife, and you take as much time as you need and come in whenever you can." I said, "No, listen, I'm telling you, I will not be more than an hour late.
[00:13:48] that's it." And I said, "You're sure?" And he said, "Absolutely. If you come in now, I'm gonna be pissed. Go do it and take as long as you need." "Okay." So I do it. I show up. Sure enough, you know, I made [00:14:00] sure I was no more than an hour late. I walk into the edit bay, and the first thing he says to me is, "Uh, Jim needs to see you right away upstairs."
[00:14:07] Jim is my boss.
[00:14:09] I said, " Why is that?" "Well, I have no idea." "Okay." So I go upstairs, and at this time in my career, I was considered a daily hire. So even though I was there five or six days a week, between 60 and 80 hours a week, I was still considered a daily hire, right?
[00:14:28] Rachel Alexandria: Mm-hmm
[00:14:29] Ricky Powell: my boss looks at me and he says, Listen, I, I've been thinking, and I think I might need to cut you back to, like, maybe two or three days a week."
[00:14:37] Rachel Alexandria: Mm.
[00:14:38] Ricky Powell: And I said, "What?" And he said, "Yeah." I said, "Why would you do that?" And he said, "Well, you know, this guy, he says you're screwing us on the, most important busiest day of the year and you're not coming in." I said, "You've gotta be kidding me." He said, "No, I'm not kidding you." I said, "And you believed him without even talking to me?"
[00:14:58] And he said, "Well, [00:15:00] why would he lie? Why, why should I have any reason to believe he would lie?" I said, "Okay, this is insane. Here's what happened, and I will go take care of this right now." And I went back down to the edit bay and he said, "Okay." I went back down to the edit bay. I walked in and I said, "Why in the world would you do that?"
[00:15:17] And of course, he just blew it off. I mean, he just-- He gave me one of those. So the good news was I knew I could never fully trust him after that.
[00:15:27] Rachel Alexandria: Mm-hmm.
[00:15:28] Ricky Powell: from that moment on, I never knew when, where, why, how I would ever need this information, but I just knew that I needed to just start emailing myself home, "Today he lied about this.
[00:15:40] Today he lied about that. Today
[00:15:42] he said..." Right? I kept meticulous records and I never knew when I was gonna need it and sure enough , nine years later was when everything was about to cave in and those emails saved my life
[00:15:56] Rachel Alexandria: Well, tell us what happened there
[00:15:58] Ricky Powell: Well, so what happened [00:16:00] was, I had gotten a tip from one of the managers in the department , and she said, "You better get a NABET card." And I said, "Why would I want that? I'm in the Directors Guild. I, I have nothing to do with NABET." She said, "Trust me, you're gonna need it. They're reorganizing the department."
[00:16:17] So I went to my boss and I said, "I understand you're organizing the department." And he said, "Well, um, yeah, but it's out of my hands. You gotta go to..." He told me to go to the head of the Burbank lot at NBC, who I had a great relationship with. I went to him. I asked him. He said-- He couldn't even look me in the eye.
[00:16:35] He said, "Yeah, um, we're making some changes, but it's, not in my hands either. You're gonna have to talk to..." And he told me to go talk to the GE black belt cost cutter, who I also knew and who, who I also had a great relationship with. So I went into her office. I asked her, and without missing a beat, she said, "Yes, we are making some changes.
[00:16:54] First, we tried to get someone outside the Directors Guild, but no one wanted to do that job, so," which made [00:17:00] no sense. None. But we are, interviewing for the position. You can apply if you want. However, just because you've been here nine years, you're entitled to nothing." Those were her words.
[00:17:13] Rachel Alexandria: Fun
[00:17:14] Ricky Powell: I said, "Oh, okay.
[00:17:15] Well, when are you planning on doing this?" She said, "By the start of the new season," which was two weeks away.
[00:17:21] Rachel Alexandria: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:22] Ricky Powell: I said, "So are you telling me in two weeks I'm out of a job?" " "Yes." I said, "Okay. Well, I appreciate you telling me," you know. "Thank you." And I walked out, and I picked up the phone, and I called an executive vice president of network operations in New York, who I had another great relationship with, and I said, "Listen, John, I just want you to know that in two weeks I'm gone.
[00:17:43] I, I don't know why. I don't know what's going on, but they're making some changes, and they want me gone in, in two weeks." And he said, "Ricky, this is..." I'll use the word baloney. Um, he said, "This [00:18:00] isn't good for you. It's not good for the network. And what you need to do is pick up the phone and rally support from everyone inside and outside the company.
[00:18:10] And if you tell anyone I gave you that advice, I'll deny it." I said, "Okay. Thank you." I mean, I hadn't even thought of that. That thought literally had not even occurred to me. And so that night, I emailed every showrunner, every, department head, and I said, "Listen, if I've helped you at all over the last nine years, I'd really appreciate you emailing this person and that person and just let them know, because they wanna make some changes and, say goodbye."
[00:18:38] The next morning, I show up to work, and
[00:18:41]
[00:18:41]
[00:18:41] Ricky Powell: big old friend says they, you know, she, "She wants to see you up in her office now." Okay. So I go up and there is, Miss Black Belt sitting next to my boss, and it's the two of them. And she said, "You will stop immediately or you're gone today." [00:19:00] And I said, "Stop what?"
[00:19:01] And she said, "You've been reaching out to every show. we've been, bombarded with emails from every show in every department saying, 'Why would you wanna get rid of Ricky?' You know, "He, he saves you every day," blah, blah, blah. You will not air our dirty laundry outside. This is totally unacceptable." I said, "Then can I ask you a question?
[00:19:21] Why would you take an employee with a perfect track record, a perfect nine-year track record, who not only, knock on wood, doesn't make mistakes, but corrects everyone else's mistakes on a daily basis and toss them out the door? It doesn't make sense. I know how hard it is to find, good help." She said, " Well, not everyone thinks you have a perfect track record."
[00:19:40] And I said, "Really? Like who?" And she starts with my boss, who's sitting right in front of me, and she says, "Well, Jim says you have other business interests. Steve," who is this other guy's boss, who I also have a great friendship with, "says you're on the phone and unavailable a lot of the [00:20:00] time. And Lanny," says you don't help."
[00:20:04] I said, "Well," I said, "Okay, do you mind if I address those one at a time?" She said, "Sure." I said, "Okay. First of all, Jim," and I'm directly addressing my boss. I said, "I have other business interests? I have no other business interests. I may have come to you five years ago with some, you know, lame brain, uh, network marketing company idea or something, but believe me, I know where my bread is buttered and I have no other business interests.
[00:20:34] You, on the other hand, are a national Boy Scout leader, and you are a teacher at Cal State Northridge, and you have more non-NBC things plastered all over your office. I can't even sit on your sofa because it's covered in schoolwork." And his response was What, what could he say, right? I mean, I, I had him. And by the way, we are still [00:21:00] great friends to this day. I mean, it, it-- all of this got settled. We became great friends. So I said, "Now, Steve says I'm on the phone and unavailable. I'm here 60 to 80 hours a week, so I would think that on a lunch or dinner break, if I pick up the phone to call my family, that would be okay.
[00:21:17] And even if I do that on a break, that's not to say if someone comes in, I'm not off the phone immediately helping them." And I said, "Lenny says I don't help. This is gonna stop right now. I'm through covering for him. I'm through protecting him. And if you're interested, I probably have 300 pages of documents covering every lie, every t- cheat, every sabotage, all of it.
[00:21:42] So you let me know if you're interested." And it took about 10 minutes for them to say, "Yes, we're very interested." I turned it all over and, a couple days later met with her and the labor relations attorney, who said to me, "I was reviewing the [00:22:00] documents and, it says here that he sabotaged an employee and punched bars into a tape.
[00:22:06] W- how could you sleep at night? Like, how could you know that and not have said anything?" And I said, " Honestly, I think you can probably answer your own question because here we are having this conversation. I had no idea who I could trust. I didn't know if I could trust that you wouldn't go back to him, and I wouldn't end up gotten fired way back then, because you were about to get rid of me without even talking to me."
[00:22:35] And her reaction was , "That makes sense." Right? I mean, I was trying to be as logical as I could with the whole thing. So they launched a full-scale investigation. They corroborated every syllable of what I said, and they ended up
[00:22:48]
[00:22:48]
[00:22:49] Ricky Powell: of him
[00:22:50] Speaker 7: Hey, quick pause. If you've been listening to Lonely at the Top and something's landed, a story, a line, a moment that hit different, I wanna hear about it. Feedback [00:23:00] shapes where my show goes, and I read every message. If what you're carrying right now is bigger than a comment, if there's a pattern that you're ready to get out of, a decision that feels like you're stuck in it, or a version of yourself you're ready to leave behind, I'm opening a limited number of discounted magic sessions for listeners this month.
[00:23:20] One session, real movement. The link is in the show notes. Come find out what's actually possible when someone sees to the heart of what's going on and can help you get out. That's it. Back to the episode
[00:23:37] Rachel Alexandria: Wow. you know what I'm struck by as I listen to your story, I mean, A, there's the isolation you must have felt being in that situation with a, uh, deceitful, dangerous colleague and never knowing who you could trust. Like, you didn't ever feel like you could just say something like, "Hey, this guy is toxic."
[00:23:58] Like, I don't know that I could have [00:24:00] done it. I don't think I can keep my mouth shut that long.
[00:24:03] but also how much, like, self-possession you had to face all that down and say, "Hang on. let me talk this out with you." Like, where did you get that? Where... Like, how did you build that ability to have a, calm and logical response to an eminent threat like that?
[00:24:26] Ricky Powell: Great question. and people would ask me, by the way, they said, "How could you possibly work with him like that?" And, and I said to them always, "I am not gonna let him bully me out of the best job I've ever had." You know? however, I will say that personal development played a huge role in this, and that's how, you know, taking that deep dive into happiness and, and joy and meaning and purpose and all of it really landed for me at, such a deep level.
[00:24:58] And originally [00:25:00] I was trying to help him, and then I learned that there's... You, can't
[00:25:03] make anyone else happy No. It's an inside
[00:25:06] Rachel Alexandria: No.
[00:25:08] Ricky Powell: Yeah.
[00:25:09] Rachel Alexandria: Especially people who are unwilling, right? Like, you can lead a horse to water, right? But if the horse doesn't wanna drink or the horse is like, "Screw you," and bites you, like, you know? Get away from that horse
[00:25:21] Ricky Powell: Exactly. and even worse, this horse got joy from ruining other people's lives because he did it to so many. He really, he was an equal opportunity terrorizer. In fact, there was one, maybe associate producer something on, on one of the huge shows, and he came in and, this guy, the supervisor was, you know, as nice as could be and patting him on the back and the whole nine yards.
[00:25:48] And as soon as he walked out, he picked up the phone to his boss, like the executive producer, and said, "I, I can't have him here anymore." I mean, he's, he literally did that as I was [00:26:00] watching. And then the beautiful part about that was, because the executive producer, of course, told his, you know, associate producer what had happened, and he instantly, fought back and said, "That's insane."
[00:26:12] I mean, you know, and, came to me to corroborate his story to the EP, who I loved, right? And I said, "No, absolutely not." And so, yeah
[00:26:22] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah. We really need to, have better education about chronically toxic people in the workplace because they are such a cancer, right? Like they dissuade and ruin all of the like actually interested and kind employees. Like they are the poop in the punch bowl,
[00:26:43] Ricky Powell: Right. You know, and I'll say this too. I think that from what I've can gather, I think that a lot of leaders and people at the top sometimes are afraid. they know what's going on, maybe not to what level or extent, [00:27:00] but I think maybe in the back of their minds they know there's an issue, and yet they're afraid to deal with it because they're afraid of getting sued, right?
[00:27:09] From the person. Like, if they took action, they're just automatically, they go to, "Oh, we're gonna get sued. It's gonna be ," All of that . But the irony is, if that person ruins the experience for enough other employees, guess what?
[00:27:24] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah, it's the lesser of two evils you really have to choose. I mean, I have several clients I have known, who go through lawsuits like that. they see what's happening and they have to, extract the person, and they do get sued. And they're like, "Yeah, I'm covered for this. You know, it's a nuisance and it'll be expensive, but it's so much worse to have them, like, break all the gears in my organization."
[00:27:47] Ricky Powell: Right
[00:27:48] Rachel Alexandria: But that's people who have, you know, emotional intelligence and foresight. Okay, so let me come back to this. So you, you in the early days of working with this jerk, picked up a book [00:28:00] about happiness, presumably because you were unhappy because of what was happening, right? what was kind of like the eye-opener for you?
[00:28:08] Was there a particular book that you were like, "Oh, the clouds parted and the angels sang"?
[00:28:14] Ricky Powell: Well, the one that started it all for me was Dennis Prager's book called "Happiness Is a Serious Problem." I loved the title 'cause it was... I mean, there were days when I would show up in the parking lot in tears. Like, I could barely even imagine going inside to get my job done. And, uh, you know, I read the book, and also on my way in, like his show... he's a nationally syndicated talk show host. In, fact, over a year ago now, he suffered a horrible accident. He's now quadriplegic, terribly. But anyway, he used to talk about politics and this and that in the news. However, one hour a week, he would devote as the happiness hour, and he would come up with all these themes about happiness, and it was so fascinating.[00:29:00]
[00:29:00] And I just started learning that happiness is an inside job and it's a decision, it's a choice we make. and I take it even one step farther. It really is a decision. And here's the thing, and I always have to w- when I'm speaking or coaching, I always wanna make it clear we are not talking about toxic positivity, right?
[00:29:21] This does not mean that we don't feel pain and sometimes suffer or any of that at all. all of that happens, but it's what we do with it. my philosophy always used to be everything happens for a reason. I've just always believed that. And as I was speaking and I would ask people, " who agrees?"
[00:29:42] You know? There were people always who did not agree, and the reason is because they would say, "If everything happens for a reason, how could there be cancer? How could there have been the Holocaust? How could there be world hunger?" All of these things. I totally got it,
[00:29:58] Rachel Alexandria: Mm-hmm.
[00:29:58] Ricky Powell: wanted to make it a more [00:30:00] universally adaptable philosophy.
[00:30:02] So all I did was cross out the last three words, "for a reason," leaving everything happens. Can we all agree everything happens? And at that point, life becomes 10% what happens and 90% how we respond to what happens including the bad stuff, right? I mean, we all react differently to pain. However, I've seen example after example of how we can take the pain and turn it into gain, if you will, right?
[00:30:37] I mean, we just
[00:30:38]
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[00:30:39] Ricky Powell: script. I mean, I've had, like, three near-death experiences. you know, I have a medical condition I was diagnosed with at 29 that took my best friend's life. Like, sudden death is a real possibility All of these things, and yet it's given me that much more strength, that much more conviction for who I am today and for just the [00:31:00] knowledge and the confirmation of what I get from helping other people and from service
[00:31:06] Rachel Alexandria: Well, you just dropped like five things that I would love to talk more about, and we we unfortunately can't get into all of them. But, yeah, I understand just kind of on a surface, view, like I grew up as a very sick kid. I had very serious asthma and, you know, struggled with that for a long time.
[00:31:27] And so I, also agree that terrible things happen and the only thing we have control over is what we do with it. So, you know, you have to, you get to empower yourself with, you know, finding possibilities in the midst of huge challenge. Like, well, okay, so here's what it is. What am I gonna do with it? I work for this terribly toxic person who's always sabotaging everybody. What am I gonna do about it? And, for you, you [00:32:00] know, the answer wasn't something immediate. It was just, "I'm gonna keep records and I'm not gonna let him ruin my mental wellbeing."
[00:32:07] And then when the time came to take action, then you could.
[00:32:11] Um, so yeah, I will co-sign that part for sure.
[00:32:16] Ricky Powell: Thank you. And I just, when one observation I made, 'cause I love this, I, I have to give you
[00:32:20]
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[00:32:21] Ricky Powell: for this because you started out by saying, you have to, and then you immediately said you get to, and that is language, our language is so important and the words we use. And I still to this day, I will catch myself, something will slip out and I will immediately just flip the script and correct myself because I know how important language is
[00:32:44] Rachel Alexandria: Mm. I mean, very much. It shapes what we understand and what we believe, right? our little internal parts when they feel required or they don't feel... Like saying, "I have to look for possibilities," is in [00:33:00] itself a limitation. I don't have to. I get to choose to be sad for a day and just feel sorry for myself if I want to.
[00:33:07] Sometimes that's what we need, and then I get to decide the next day, "Okay, so what do I wanna do?" All right. So let's get to the next segment of the show, which is where we get into your balance sheet of burdens. Because at the top, no one really gets to see those, and, it sounds like in your job you weren't necessarily at the top, but you were in a high responsibility, isolated kind of role.
[00:33:33] So you had a balance sheet of burdens, and here we like to open the private ledger. So can you tell us first one cost you paid for being in leadership in a role of responsibility?
[00:33:47] Ricky Powell: Well, interesting question. I think that if anything, it was just kind of an internal knowing that I was serving two masters in a [00:34:00] sense because I knew that I had to deliver everything for the network exactly the way they needed it, which sometimes required doing things that an executive producer would not necessarily love, right?
[00:34:15] and at the same time, and I'm talking about a lot of different things, but like for instance, one example, is when we started doing all the branding and w- we started kind of putting the network footprint on the show, so to speak, so that... And what I'm talking about, and, anyone listening will most likely understand this and maybe remember, is just that it involved putting lower thirds, lower third graphics and promotions within the body of the show, letting you know
[00:34:47]
[00:34:48] Ricky Powell: up next, what's airing in a week all of those sorts of things.
[00:34:52] And what I actually loved about, one of the things I loved was the creativity that it allowed me to have because [00:35:00] what I had to do within the parameters of the network guidelines was find the best creative place to insert those things so that the network could get what they want, and at the same time, I was not ruining, the show for the producers because it's, like their baby, you know?
[00:35:16] Every episode they turn out, it's like they're handing you their, firstborn, you know? And, and so I know how important it was 'cause that's the side I came from. I remember being in a screening in the executive producer's office of "The Golden Girls" when he was on the phone with the network complaining about certain things, and so I, never wanted any of those calls.
[00:35:36] And so it was just that internal, I think stress of knowing that everything I did was scrutinized. Um, and but I was okay with it because I, in fact, I was more than okay. I really became proud of the fact that I had become the go-to guy for everyone. So, you know, all part, whether it was internal with different [00:36:00] departments, on-air promo, broadcast standards, any of it, as well as each show producer, if they needed something, they knew who to call.
[00:36:08] And so that was a, great reward for me
[00:36:10] Rachel Alexandria: Okay. So that leads into what was one invisible asset that you didn't realize you had at the time?
[00:36:19] Ricky Powell: Hmm. right at the, climax of those first nine years, right as the whole shoe was dropping and all of that was going on. I reached out to the woman who hired me originally, who had been gone for years. After she hired me, she ended up, getting remarried, and she went off and led beautiful life.
[00:36:42] but she was still a, really close, dear friend. She changed my whole life by bringing me in there. And I reached out to her, you know, just to kind of fill her in and let her know what was going on, 'cause she definitely knew this guy very well.
[00:36:54] Rachel Alexandria: So it sounds like the invisible asset that you had is your relationships
[00:36:59]
[00:36:59] Ricky Powell: . [00:37:00] Yep.
[00:37:00] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah. just the fact that you knew so many people and had really built relationships of trust and integrity with everyone is what, yeah, really saved you
[00:37:12] Ricky Powell: It did
[00:37:13] Rachel Alexandria: Okay. So what is one investment that you're making now? I'm sure you're making many because you're actually a happiness coach, you know.
[00:37:22] What is an investment you're making now for your wellbeing or your soul?
[00:37:26] Ricky Powell: I think walking the talk, right? Because definitely know people who will claim to be one way and yet off camera or off stage they're another way. And I never have done that and I never will. I am fully transparent , w- with who I am and what I do and, and all of that, uh, as much as I can be, right?
[00:37:49] but I walk the talk like I am constantly learning and growing myself so that I can help my clients, you know, get that much better as well
[00:37:59] Rachel Alexandria: [00:38:00] Yeah. I love that, like having a student mindset I think is really important for any leader who we wanna be able to trust.
[00:38:10] You know, you're never exempt from the work
[00:38:13] Ricky Powell: Exactly
[00:38:14] Rachel Alexandria: Okay. So I've got two more questions for you, and I'll ask you the first one, and then I'm gonna ask you just how people might reach out to you or find out more about what you're doing now. But before that,
[00:38:26] what do you wish more leaders felt permission to say out loud?
[00:38:31] Ricky Powell: I think it might be that it would be nice if more leaders knew that they don't always have to have the answer. And so the last thing you wanna do is make one up if you don't know the answer let it be known, you know? "I'll get back to you," or, "Let me," find out," is one big thing because we can't all know everything.
[00:38:54] We are not all-knowing, all of us, 100% of the time. So I think, you know, [00:39:00] I think that's a big one. and then I think what would be nice is if, leaders also kept that learning mindset and growth mindset for themselves so that they are always growing. one of my newer bosses, would always say to me, "How can I help?
[00:39:16] What can I do?" You know, those types of things go a long way
[00:39:20] Rachel Alexandria: Yeah, they really do. Okay, so before we get to the last question, if people who are listening are really interested in your perspective and maybe in getting some help from you or learning more about your method or your book, where should they go to find out more?
[00:39:39] Ricky Powell: Well, thank you for that. my website is www.lifelonghappiness.com, and there's a lot of information there. I send out a free weekly email, newsletter. I call it " The Lifelong Happiness Journal, " that goes out every Sunday morning, different topic. and people can always just even reply to that [00:40:00] email.
[00:40:00] and I'm always reading, I'm always answering back. And, I have an inner circle community that I absolutely love, where I'm, growing it with founding members, and I have all of the modules planned out, and everything is recorded. So, you know, if you miss anything, it's all there in the portal with worksheets.
[00:40:17] And I just, I love serving and, and so it's just anything I can do to help, always please feel free to reach out
[00:40:25] Rachel Alexandria: Okay, so they should get in contact through your website predominantly
[00:40:29] Ricky Powell: through my website. Also happy to share my, cell number because if I'm available, I always pick up. If not... And that's 805-279-4222
[00:40:41] Rachel Alexandria: Okay. Well, those will be in the show notes, so if people wanna reach out, they can. Okay, let me ask you our final question, which is the time machine question.
[00:40:53] So we open the doors to the time machine. If you could go back in time, what would [00:41:00] you say to yourself earlier in your career?
[00:41:04] Ricky Powell: I think I would say, as trite as it may sound, never, never give up. Just never give up. you know, I look back and remember how I was creating my plan B at 20. It's pretty young to be worried about a plan B. And so, you know, there's always the woulda, coulda, I think it's also important to, do your best not to really, have regrets that keep you up at night, which, you know, thankfully I don't, because I'm inclined to say what would've happened had I, you know, kept, my acting career going or anything like that.
[00:41:43] But at the end of the day, Rachel, I am so happy for what I'm doing today, and I always-- I took a step back and I thought when I was at NBC, I wanted, I just felt this need to serve on a higher level. I looked at what was going on and I thought, "Wow, there's a reason [00:42:00] it's called programming."
[00:42:01] And, right? it's one-way communication, and there's usually an agenda behind it, and I thought I really wanna help people as much as possible and serve on a higher level, and that's what I'm doing today. So I think it all worked out
[00:42:15] Rachel Alexandria: So you'd go back and tell yourself, Don't give up on what you really most dream of doing."
[00:42:21] Ricky Powell: Right. Exactly.
[00:42:23] Rachel Alexandria: Nice.
[00:42:24] Ricky Powell: Yeah
[00:42:24] Rachel Alexandria: Well, thank you so much for coming on the show today, Ricky. It's been a pleasure to hear your story, and I'm sure people are going to resonate with, you know, even if you're in a toxic situation, that you, you are able to be your own advocate and, it's the relationships that you make that will save you
[00:42:44] Ricky Powell: Yeah, 100%. Oh, relationships are, as I know you know, I, I mean, relationships are everything. They really are. thank you so much for having me. It's been such a joy being here with you
[00:42:55] Rachel Alexandria: Absolutely
[00:42:56] Speaker 6: Thanks for taking a moment to tune [00:43:00] in with me today, and thanks for listening to Lonely at the Top. If this conversation resonated today, I hope you'll give yourself permission to pause and check in with what you might be carrying, because you don't have to hold it all alone. I am an executive coach who works with spiritually inclined powerhouses, especially those who wanna clean up difficult relationships and other secret messes.
[00:43:24] You can learn more at rachealexandria.com. If you know another leader who needs to hear this show, please send it their way, because yeah, it's lonely at the top, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
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