Welcome to So Much To Say: A Legal Podcast For People where we explore the behind-the-scenes of work, law, life, and everything in between. We’re your hosts, business development and legal marketing coaches Jennifer Ramsey and Megan Senese, and we’re here to showcase the human side of the legal world, from marketing and consulting to the very real challenges of balancing ambitious careers with being human. This isn’t your typical, dry legal show. Instead, So Much To Say is a human-centered leadership, marketing, and culture podcast through the lens of law. We bring you real stories, candid conversations, and thoughtful insights that remind you that outside of being a lawyer or legal marketer, what makes you human matters too. So whether you’re navigating billable hours, building meaningful relationships, redefining success, or simply trying to stay human in a high-performance profession, this podcast is for you.
Stay human. Stay inspired. Namaste (or whatever keeps you human).
[00:00:00] Megan Senese: You are not bad at networking. You have just been given the wrong version of networking for you. I used to think that I was terrible at networking, and as soon as I realized that I had nothing to lose. And I was simply there just to connect with one or two people. Everything changed. Welcome to Minis with Megan on So Much To Say: A Legal Podcast For People.
[00:00:26] Most of us growing up have been given just one way to network, and maybe walking into a big conference room or a large gathering feels really intimidating. And you have that sinking feeling in your stomach that you are the only one that feels like that. Well, lemme tell you this, you are not alone. I hear from so many people, super senior partners, established lawyers, senior marketers, chief marketing officers, that they all have that feeling sometimes.
[00:01:01] Or maybe, I'm not good at networking, or maybe I'm not cut out for the large event. You're not the only person who might be feeling that way. We have been given one version of how to network, particularly if your firm has now invested thousands of dollars for you to go. You've made a business case as to why you are the best person to attend that conference.
[00:01:26] Now the firm is expecting something, so the pressure is on, and that's not even including the pressure you're putting on yourself. So now you're barreling into this conference saying, I need to get something from this conference. I have to make it work. And you feel that tension. So you are now bee lining.
[00:01:48] For the most senior person, and maybe you have a conversation with them and it sort of falls flat and you leave the conference feeling defeated and deflated. But what if you go into your next conference, your next networking event? Knowing a couple of people, we call it pre connecting. You send notes to people that you know are going to be at the conference or you post about your attendance at the upcoming conference and invite people to connect with you and who doesn't like when someone reaches out and asks if they can meet with you?
[00:02:26] Now you're entering into a conference room or a large gathering. Where you know a couple people, you can be on the lookout for them, and your brain now has a task, which is, I'm gonna reach out to the friends that I know will be here. Instead of thinking, I really need to get something out of this, I have to prove my attendance was worth it.
[00:02:48] What if when you go to this conference, you simply decide that you're going to connect with people, you're going to lay the foundation of building relationships. Doesn't that feel a lot better? I used to think that I was terrible at networking. I also thought like, I'm kind of a jerk, so uh, people are gonna talk to me.
[00:03:10] I'm probably not gonna have anything to say. It's not gonna be interesting. I'm not a lawyer. So what do people wanna talk to me about and what am I gonna be able to talk to them about? They're gonna talk to me about something super smart and I'm not gonna know how to respond and I'm gonna look stupid.
[00:03:23] And I think that's a lot of our fear is that we think we're gonna look stupid or we're gonna get stuck not knowing something. And as soon as I realized that I had nothing to lose and I was simply there just to connect with one or two people, everything changed. Once you're at the event, be yourself. Ask people about themselves.
[00:03:46] People love to talk about themselves. Be curious if you are being asked to come up with an icebreaker, which I absolutely still hate. Make it strange. Make it weird. I recently wrote on LinkedIn that I wanted to know the most. Boring thing about you. And I did it in a workshop that I was facilitating and we went around the room and everybody gave their most boring fact, which actually wound up being sometimes kind of interesting.
[00:04:14] And we found out things like people don't like mushrooms. People read every single day. People still had their Christmas tree up and it was July. And we found out such interesting information that seemed trivial to them. But really got us to learn about each other. So you could even ask people, Hey, instead of doing the traditional like most interesting thing about you, would you be open to telling me the most boring thing about you?
[00:04:41] I actually do this with my kids and they love it. Tell me the most boring thing about your dad. The goal is to get people to feel connected to you so that you can build that relationship and it can continue past the event. I have memories of my first law firms and being told that rainmakers would go into conferences and leave with deals, and maybe that's true.
[00:05:05] I haven't really heard that since. So I think we need to reframe how we're networking. Networking is not about what you're going to get. It's about what you're going to give, how are you gonna show up? Are you gonna show up? Nervous maybe. But can you push past the nerves and think about connecting with just one person?
[00:05:27] Can you leave their feeling good and energized instead of completely depleted? Can you make a person feel seen and heard? Because if you can, chances are they're gonna remember you. And if you want people to hire you, they're gonna remember how you made them feel, how you made them feel, understood and listened to and heard.
[00:05:50] And if you're a lawyer, that is your key. Your key is to ensure that your client feels heard. Listen to and support it. If you can show what it's like to work with you, that you listen, that you are interested, that you care about them, that you're connected, that's when everything goes into place. If you're a legal marketer and you're saying, well, nobody really needs to hire me for work, you can practice your skills so that you can teach it to your lawyers.
[00:06:16] If you're a legal marketer and you're thinking, I don't need to teach it to my lawyers, then you can think about what's next for you. You can use it to network for your career. You never know when that relationship might help you. And you never know what relationships you can help with other people. So my closing thought is this.
[00:06:36] Networking is so much more than what you will get. It's about what you will give and all of the things that you give will come back to you in the end. And if you can show up being your weird, wonderful self, then you don't have to worry about. How to articulate your elevator speech. You don't have to worry about what makes you stand out and come up with the perfect chat chippie response.
[00:07:01] If you are showing up as your weird, beautiful self. That's enough.