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Each week, Amanda Campbell interviews amazing people, who will share their inspiring stories of resilience. Amanda dives deep into 40-minute DNM’s with guests, exploring their stories of how they have overcome adversity in their lives professionally and personally.
00;00;00;00 - 00;00;28;29
Unknown
Welcome to the band like Bamboo Podcast, where we will explore the incredible power of resilience, mental strength and adaptability. In each episode, I'll be sitting down with inspiring guests from business leaders and entrepreneurs to celebrities and everyday heroes. We'll dive deep into their personal journeys, uncovering the secrets behind their ability to bend without breaking in the face of life's challenges.
00;00;29;02 - 00;00;56;19
Unknown
Join me as we learn from these remarkable individuals and discover practical tools to enhance our own resilience and well-being. Together, we'll explore how flexible of the mind, body and spirit can help us to reach our full potential in all areas of life. Get ready to be inspired, enlightened, and empowered on the Ben Like Bamboo Podcast. Hello and welcome to the Men like Bamboo Podcast.
00;00;56;20 - 00;01;26;02
Unknown
Today we have Qi Wan, Amy on the podcast. Welcome so much. Thank you so much for having me. First off, I appreciate you having me to tell my story. Come on. It's absolutely my pleasure. Let me introduce you properly. You have an amazing story of resilience and transformation. So today on the Big Bamboo Podcast, we welcome QI one Amy, a remarkable embodiment of resilience and vision.
00;01;26;05 - 00;01;54;01
Unknown
So after serving ten years in the US Air Force as an in-flight refueling specialist and reaching the rank of Staff Sergeant Qi, one's life took a dramatic turn on May the fifth, 2017, when a motorbike accident claimed his eyesight. Yet in what became his defining moment, Qian proved that resilience isn't about avoiding life's storms, but learning to dance in the rain.
00;01;54;03 - 00;02;23;15
Unknown
As he powerfully states, I may have lost my sight, but I did not lose my vision. This philosophy transformed his challenge into purpose as the founder of Amy Motivation. Drawing from over 25 years as a drama, his experience on stage and his service as both a mentor for Air Force Wounded Warriors and vice president for the Carolina Regional Group of the Blinded Veterans Association.
00;02;23;17 - 00;02;50;01
Unknown
He won has become an inspirational force, helping others navigate their own challenges. His upcoming bestseller, Don't Focus On Y Me, captures the essence of his journey as a testament to the incredible human capacity to adapt, overcome, and thrive against overwhelming odds. Join us as he shares his extraordinary story today. I'm really blown away by what you've been through.
00;02;50;02 - 00;03;25;24
Unknown
Yuan You and me both. my. To say the least. Yeah. I'm so glad I found you. And I know that, you know, man, like bamboo is all about sharing stories of resilience. And let's start with that. Like, what does resilience mean to you? I definitely believe the current definition of resilience is actually very accurate. It's all about how you bounce back from something physically, literally, mentally, emotionally, all of it.
00;03;25;26 - 00;03;50;09
Unknown
I believe if you don't wholeheartedly bounce back, you didn't bounce back. And so when I was going through a lot of the physical side, I was doing great. That was that was the easy side to bouncing back for. That was easy. And I say that because, yes, I broke, you know, bones literally from head all the way down to my foot.
00;03;50;11 - 00;04;22;07
Unknown
But the thing about the easy side of it is I was already in to doing physical fitness anyway. So that's what made it easy on me. Now, the things I had to do, not so easy, but having the mindset to do it was the easy part. Now the hard part was the emotional, the mental, you know? And what I tell people all the time, I said, listen, if you if you have these problems, you need to seek help.
00;04;22;10 - 00;04;50;05
Unknown
We nobody can do it alone. I know if somebody has told you they did everything in their life alone by themselves, run the other way, okay? Because that means they're an alien. All right, you better get away. And the reason I say that is because there's some kind of other force is really what it is. There are some some force that you never encountered.
00;04;50;07 - 00;05;11;21
Unknown
There's no way, shape or form or fashion that somebody literally did everything by their self. Even the richest people in the world have teams, have people all around them, whatever. Or somebody in the background working for them. Okay. So it's just one of those things that I had to understand. I couldn't do it all alone. I needed the help.
00;05;11;21 - 00;05;41;08
Unknown
I needed the guidance. I needed the therapy and therapist. So remember that not just a physical therapy, not just a recreational therapy, not just the occupational therapy. I needed the therapists as well, because the mental therapy was so huge. And it still is because I still participate in men's mental therapy. Yes. And what helps us from finding that mental help.
00;05;41;09 - 00;06;12;22
Unknown
Like what? Why is it why do we block that when so important to be surrounded by support, do you think? A huge thing is pride. Yeah. A lot of people can go to the side and especially where the the the background that I come from. See, I'm in a I'm a inner city kind of guy. I was not raised with the best, you know, I wasn't super dirt poor either, but I wasn't raised with the best, if you know what I mean.
00;06;12;22 - 00;06;38;25
Unknown
I mean, Silver for me, but it was from the dollar store, you know, something like that. So it wasn't the silver that. this has that certain weight to it. this is beautiful. No, no, we're not talking about that kind of stuff. And so when I tell people that and also military wives as well, because there's a stigma there when you go to mental health.
00;06;38;28 - 00;07;07;17
Unknown
I was just talking about this with another military member yesterday, actually. When you go to mental health, everybody looks at you a different way now. Yeah. As soon as you step foot through that door and it's not that. you saw. that's amazing. No, they look at you like, you're going to mental health, okay. Like, it's a way, I guess, you know, if you guess, you're not fit.
00;07;07;20 - 00;07;40;25
Unknown
Well, wait. Because I went and saw help, so I'm supposed to suffer? That's the worst part of it. Is it me suffering? That's why we have this 22 plus a day having, you know, suicides in the military. Yeah. Is it 20 hours a day? Yeah, it's 22 plus a day. That's. That's active and veteran. Count it together is what we're averaging right now and is go.
00;07;40;27 - 00;08;09;29
Unknown
The total went up. I mean, do they just keep it at 22? They don't want to recount. But that was back when I was still serving. It was 22. I know it's different. And they're you can't tell me that that number did not change in almost almost ten years now. Yeah. Yeah. And I imagine, you know, with the career you've had, there would be some PTSD associated with your career and now also your accident.
00;08;09;29 - 00;08;38;19
Unknown
What pattern or correlation do you notice about your stress levels when dealing with both? Well, in the military, they train you to think under pressure. Yes, because that's like the first thing you're going through in basic training. Yeah. Again, you know, they're. Well, now is is nuts. I laugh about this because they have literally invented a stress card.
00;08;38;21 - 00;09;08;01
Unknown
Okay, What the heck is a stress card? Thank you for asking. I appreciate it. So a stress card in the in basic training, what we call the trainee. The trainee can hold up their stress card if they feel that the military training instructor is being too hard on them. Okay, So you say, okay, I say, what a pansy.
00;09;08;03 - 00;09;43;05
Unknown
Well, is it used? Too many people actually use it, and I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. They the the MTI, which stands for military training instructor. The MTI can't even get in their face any more. Yeah. Now, anybody who watches, you know, war or any type of movies that have to do with military, you know, that is like the whole thing with being a part of some kind of prep school or basic training or some kind of, you know, whatever boot camp that is.
00;09;43;05 - 00;10;13;13
Unknown
The whole purpose of it is to teach you how to react and act under pressure. Yeah, but if I can hold up a stress card or get you away from me, What? Where? What is the pressure go? what is that? I see what you it. And now here's why I have a problem with it. At what point when you get deployed and somebody's shooting at you, can you hold up that card and they stop shooting?
00;10;13;15 - 00;10;34;00
Unknown
Yeah. Yes. That's where my problem is. Yeah. Yeah, that's where my problem lies. Because you can't just stop a gunfight. It does not work. That bull is not going to say sorry. I didn't mean to come at you like that. Dude, you had a stress card. My bad. No, it's not going to do that. It's going to go straight through you.
00;10;34;03 - 00;11;02;00
Unknown
Yeah, Yeah. But I guess maybe they invented the stress card because maybe on a positive note, they are being more aware of mental health issues. But I see the your side of the argument where how do you build resilience if you are able to tap out like that? Is that what you mean? Exactly. Exactly. If I'm able to tap out at any moment, you know, here in the comfort of the states, what am I going to be like overseas?
00;11;02;01 - 00;11;38;01
Unknown
I personally would not want and I'm and I hate to say this, I really do, but it's because of what they're building now. I would not want anybody who's going through basic training now to be beside you listening so that if we're on the same line, how do you reckon what's in your opinion then how do we balance our ability to build resilience, to overcome anything versus nurturing ourselves where we're not complete soldiers, where we don't acknowledge how we're really feeling when we're not okay?
00;11;38;03 - 00;12;01;29
Unknown
How do we do that then? Well, this is hard. It's a double edged sword. It really is. I mean, once you get yourself involved and this is why I say I knew what I was signing up for. Yeah, you. As you sign up, you need to know what you're signing up for, too. Yeah. Make it what it is.
00;12;02;06 - 00;12;32;11
Unknown
What do you do? I mean, I know, like, it is too invasive and really, Murphy, I could do the. You can't handle the truth. And it's just one of those things where, I mean, I really cannot like, I'm trying to do this without, you know, because my youngest brother's in the military, he's in the Air Force. He just went through boot camp to two and a half years ago or something like that.
00;12;32;14 - 00;12;56;17
Unknown
And so I look at him and I'm like, I know why you made it through it, you know what I'm saying? And I'm not saying he wouldn't have made it when I went through that. I'm not saying at all. I'm just saying that I know why it was not as difficult. We used to have people missing the next morning because it because they were it wasn't because they were dying.
00;12;56;23 - 00;13;28;09
Unknown
It was because they couldn't handle it. Yeah, it was at home, left and right. Not everyone would be cut out for the military are and some people would, some people wouldn't. And maybe the earlier training did a good job of being able to distinguish that. Well, I guess it'd be great to know, like if you were trained in the all traditional way, how did that contribute and help to you having the resilience to overcome your accident?
00;13;28;11 - 00;13;50;19
Unknown
If I was trained in the way that they're trained now, I wouldn't I wouldn't have that strong, strong resilience that I that I currently have. What did you learn in your training when you were trained in the military? What did you what were the core things that you learned when you were pushed that far? Unfortunately, the suck it up factor.
00;13;50;21 - 00;14;13;29
Unknown
Yep. That's what we call it. Suck it up or rephrase it. Suck it up, buttercup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's an unfortunate side, but it's also the side that helped me. Yeah. Because I'm like, okay, no, nobody's. I mean, yes, some people care, but nobody's going to do this for me. I'm going to have to do this stuff for myself.
00;14;13;29 - 00;14;38;06
Unknown
If I want to get back to where I was in some sense of the word or the form, I'm going to have to get up on my own two feet. I'm going to have to navigate this life in my own manner. I can't rely on people to do everything for me. Yeah, I couldn't. When I tell you I could not stand having people bathe me, but it was the worst thing I ever felt in my life.
00;14;38;07 - 00;14;58;25
Unknown
Yeah, that loss of independence, it's. I remember that to find it really hard for people to wash me and dress me. I mean, it was. I was so grateful, but I found it really hard when I was paralyzed to it. Yeah, I received that help when I trained myself to look after myself so much. But I guess a bounce path is what we want in life ultimately, isn't it?
00;14;58;25 - 00;15;21;16
Unknown
To be able to give and receive love and support? Well, yes, but I do that when I'm when I'm old and can't move. Okay. When you're at home with your family, you know what? I'm brittle and I literally cannot move on my own. You know, that's going I'll be okay. I get it. You got to deal with. Okay.
00;15;21;22 - 00;15;51;07
Unknown
You know, but while I'm 25 years old and you were bathing me clothing me, feeding me, what did that teach you, though? Because you had to experience that when you were getting better. What did it teach you with being so self-sufficient? Like, what were the good things about it is one word. Yeah, I'm humble. I was humbled very quickly.
00;15;51;10 - 00;16;14;29
Unknown
Yeah. Because we can go from being super independent to now and dependent on everybody. And I mean that. I was open on everybody. What is humbled mean to you? What does it mean? It just literally means that I went from being super independent to now, depending on everybody. I had to humble myself. I couldn't tell everybody to like, get away from me.
00;16;14;29 - 00;16;31;29
Unknown
If I did, I would have laid there funky. I would have been use the bathroom on myself. I would need somehow I would have had to find a way to get my medicine, my food, everything. I literally would not be and would not have been able to do a lot of things. I couldn't move. Yeah, I could not walk.
00;16;32;05 - 00;17;01;02
Unknown
I needed a wheelchair I like. There were things I physically could not do. Yeah, you. I'm sure you understand that what you're paralyzing in at the time that you had it. So I wasn't quite paralyzed, but with the level of damage that was done to my body, immobilization was pretty high. Yeah. Tell me about it. Yeah, tell me about that.
00;17;01;02 - 00;17;29;21
Unknown
Like your accident. What would that what was what that was like? And the loss of mobility that you had. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, the motorcycle accident May 5th, 2017. I call it my new life journey. And I say that because that's really what it is. I have to separate what was May 4th, 2017, and forward to now May 5th and on.
00;17;29;24 - 00;17;55;18
Unknown
I had to separate the two because if I keep living in the past, it's going to it's going to suck. And so I had to separate and create a new life journey. Now what I'm getting at is that crash where somebody pulls out in front of me while I'm on a motorcycle, at a motorcycle. It was one that I, of course, never wanted to happen.
00;17;55;21 - 00;18;25;27
Unknown
Nobody wants it. An accident. Abbott I don't care what accident it is, but I'm grateful that I can say I'm still here and I mean that grateful to say, like with my mouth that I'm still here as well as be seen because I could be six feet under. Yeah, and I don't mean the Australian term of Downunder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00;18;25;27 - 00;18;56;21
Unknown
You had a second chance of life. Yes. Yes. And so I, I have the accident. Well you know what was, was in the accident shall I say. I didn't have it but I was in it. Yeah. And I had to be LifeFlight it to the hospital which where you and C hospital in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. And I spent, I spent two months there the first month I know nothing about.
00;18;56;25 - 00;19;19;29
Unknown
So from May 5th until June the sixth, when I woke up, I was in a medically induced coma because they had to do countless surgeries on me, literally, like I told you from head all the way down to my right foot. Yeah. So the first one, I don't know if it was the first one, but the first couple of surgeries they had to do first off was my head.
00;19;20;06 - 00;19;48;09
Unknown
Can you see this little scar here? Yes. That literally goes all the way across the top of my head to the other ear. Right. And that was to open my skull to allow my brain the pressure that it need, the relief of pressure, because there was so much pressure on my brain from the swelling. My goodness. So that was the first one or probably within the first three.
00;19;48;12 - 00;20;12;24
Unknown
Then I had I was bleeding internally somewhere in my growing groin area. So they had to go and do that to fix that or I was going to bleed out. Yeah. And the third one, I'm trying to remember what probably my trick because my face was crushed in, so I probably need needed breath. I need to need to breathe.
00;20;12;24 - 00;20;34;27
Unknown
You know, they probably probably wasn't getting enough oxygen. Yeah. So they probably just went ahead and said to do a trick. You know, I'm as you can see. Yeah. You know, And so granted, I hated that I had to get it. But if I, if it kept me alive. Hey, you know what I mean? Because it does affect my singing voice.
00;20;35;00 - 00;21;03;09
Unknown
But yeah, because I do sing. But it does affect it. Yeah. And so those are like the, the main three that started the whole cut on them type thing, if you get what I'm saying. Gosh, that would, it would be frightening to wake up into that could that's just three that I told you about and so imagine the rest of them.
00;21;03;11 - 00;21;20;25
Unknown
Yeah. What was it like when you woke up? When you woke up and you became conscious and you realized that you had had an accident on this time and past? Like what was that first moment like? Well, first off, I had to realize that I was well, waking up it. I thought I was in my bed. Yeah, I thought I was at home.
00;21;20;27 - 00;21;52;21
Unknown
So in my bedroom, you know, just waking up from a nice slumber. Yeah, It was really peaceful. It was a really peaceful sleep. Yeah. Drugs are dangerous. Okay. Yeah. And I say that because all of the times that I've been under anesthesia, it was so peaceful. And you don't want to get hooked on that stuff. But I'm telling you right now, that's something you could get hooked.
00;21;52;21 - 00;22;18;17
Unknown
Hooked on. Yeah. Because it takes away the pain when you're so relaxed and you release all the pressure emotionally, I imagine. Well, it takes away pain. But when I tell you, that's the best sleep you'll ever get. Hear me clearly the best sleep you will ever get. And we as humans love good sleep. I haven't met one yet.
00;22;18;17 - 00;22;42;18
Unknown
That does it. Okay. Okay. So you really rested and then. Yes. And then you realized no. Yes. Then. So as I wake up, I don't I don't quite open my eyes yet because I'm, I'm I'm just kind of coming out of this slumber and I'm like, wait a minute. I hear people talking, Who the heck is in my bedroom?
00;22;42;20 - 00;23;08;00
Unknown
So now trying to figure out the voices. Yeah, and I do. I do figure it out. It was well, at that time, back in 2017, my girlfriend, who is now my ex, but she was my girlfriend then. She was there. Okay, I know that voice. I do not know. that's my mom. My mom is here. Wait a minute now I know what my girlfriend would be in my bedroom, but what the heck is my mom doing here?
00;23;08;02 - 00;23;31;00
Unknown
Thank you. Yeah, you know, because if you wake up in the morning, you know, granted, if is with your significant other, you're not prepared for somebody to be standing in there with them. Yeah, well, you got covers over top your what. no, that's how I felt. Mom, I'm not prepared. What are you doing in here? You know, that's how I felt.
00;23;31;01 - 00;23;51;12
Unknown
That was how I felt when I woke up. And. But they were talking about something. I was trying to figure out what it was. Yeah, And I think What? Okay, let me listen. Do my little eavesdrop. And I said, whoa. Somehow I got in a motorcycle accident. Okay, that's it. And so I'm just listening for a little while.
00;23;51;12 - 00;24;15;24
Unknown
And at no point do they mention a name. And it was taking me off. I mean, I'm like, I mean, surely they're going to drop a name, right? No, no. Once it was all generalized. I wish this never happened to him. I hope he is okay. Okay. Well, at least I know it's a guy who, you know.
00;24;15;29 - 00;24;39;14
Unknown
And so I said, Well, forget it. I'm just going, you know, wake up and show them that I am alert and awake. You know, I go to open my eyes only, only not to be able to see anything. I Yeah. So the same thing I see today, which is nothing is the same thing I saw the day I woke up.
00;24;39;16 - 00;25;04;26
Unknown
Yeah. There was no gradual loss in eyesight. This was completely gone. Zero, zilch. Go. That's frightening. Frightening. It was. It was a a at first I didn't. I didn't know what was going on, so I thought something would happen. I just, you know, you know how you close your eyes? Really hard to see you wait a minute. Even.
00;25;04;28 - 00;25;32;18
Unknown
And the reopening? Yeah, that's what I did first. And I was like, okay, this this is not a drill. You know? Yes. Is real right now. Now I'm about to hit the panic button. 88. And so I go to speak since I can't see anything and I'm trying to say, you know, or speak to a man, hey, like is what I'm trying to say, but all you hear is not getting in.
00;25;32;20 - 00;26;01;27
Unknown
Not that I couldn't speak because my jaw was broken in the accident. So they were it should. my goodness. my goodness. For those who don't know what it feels like to have your jaw, why should I want you to try to just just visualize this with me, Try to speak without being able to separate your teeth or your lips.
00;26;01;29 - 00;26;22;02
Unknown
They don't move. Neither one loss of communication and connection with your voice and your eyes are kind of my I would I would have totally frank down, totally freaked out with that would I explaining this to you as you started to, you know, come into consciousness to help you? Well, see, now, now that I'm trying to speak and I can't do it.
00;26;22;17 - 00;26;42;12
Unknown
is on full, full blown panic mode. I can't even think straight. I'm just trying to get out, trying to get where is trying to figure out why I'm not able to see who's playing these tricks on me. Whatever. Yeah, you guys. What? Whoever got my mouth closed, I need to fix it now. Yeah, You know, that's all I could think.
00;26;42;15 - 00;27;09;11
Unknown
I am not even aware. So. So with that panic setting, then I'm not aware that my neck has a collar on it. I'm not aware that I'm not really able to move because I'm weak. Is crap With all the cuts that happened to me, I can't even I don't even thought about moving my legs. So I only I you try to keep nobody, you know, it's just a lot of things that I did not realize because all I can think of is why the heck can I see or talk?
00;27;09;14 - 00;27;33;00
Unknown
So I need explain something. This is not funny. I don't. I don't like games at first. I don't like surprises. Secondly, I don't need to work with the games and jokes that that are very serious like that. So you need to fix this right now. Yeah. Yeah. And so they finally come to my bedside like one on each side of the hospital room.
00;27;33;03 - 00;27;51;22
Unknown
And I said, at the time I didn't realize it, but I didn't realize how close they were to me. Like, Well, this can't be my bed. I didn't, I didn't realize that yet because I had a king size. So you weren't going to be able to get that close to me one on each side. So either way, my mom was like, Well, hey, what's what's going on?
00;27;51;22 - 00;28;13;24
Unknown
What's wrong? What's wrong? And I'm trying my hardest to say what's wrong, but she can't understand me. First off, I'm trying to talk too fast. Secondly, I don't know how to talk without being able to talk. You know, All I know is the 25 years that I've been talking, and I imagine your arms and hands weren't ready to write either.
00;28;13;27 - 00;28;44;00
Unknown
Well, apparently they were, because that's what she did. She made me write okay, because she said, hold on. So I get up the rhythm and I go Palin mode. And and then she says, Here, but here. And my what? She's I hold your hands out. And so I cut my hands and hold them out. And she puts a notepad and a pencil in my hand or a pen or whatever it was.
00;28;44;00 - 00;29;07;16
Unknown
And I agree with it. But what is this like us? And I'm thinking in my shoes, like, write down what you're trying to say. I'm like, Really? Again, I can't see. That's the reason I'm panicking right now. yeah, No whole thing. I can't even imagine that would have been horrific. Her is she's like, Just try it. Just tried it.
00;29;07;19 - 00;29;26;28
Unknown
You've been doing it. And I'm like, When did I do this? I just woke up, you know, like, that's all I could think of. But I said, Whatever. I'll start scribbling on the paper, trying not to write over top of what I'm already writing. And so I hand it back to her and I say, Well, what is this, a motorcycle accident dream you guys keep talking about?
00;29;27;01 - 00;29;54;26
Unknown
And when she gets done reading, she says, that's not a dream. That's that's what happened to you? Yeah. yeah. No, I was done. I was done. I didn't. I didn't talk no more that day. No more communications. No, shut everything down. I don't want any more for that. Yeah. And then obviously that would have been a rock bottom moment.
00;29;54;29 - 00;30;21;22
Unknown
What was that like? Yes, that was one of them. Anyway, I've had a couple. That one was more of a thought process. Now, like I'm a I'm a very critical thinker, problem solver type of person. But when you hit me with something like that, God, I am now in nothing but thought processing of what happened that caused me to have an accident.
00;30;21;25 - 00;30;37;07
Unknown
Was it One of those guys I was riding with was it was somebody else who did this? What did I do? Something crazy. I'm not a person that does anything crazy. I don't like writing crazy. What is going to do it? Wait a minute. Didn't I have to go to work? no. I'm going to be a wall.
00;30;37;10 - 00;31;01;26
Unknown
But everything is going on. When I tell you, there was no point that I stopped thinking I might have been quiet and not moving, but there was no point that I stopped thinking. Yeah. And then what happened after that in terms of your, you know, we can, we can float in a rock bottom moment for a while. And I know that turning point is always the most.
00;31;01;28 - 00;31;26;15
Unknown
Yeah. And critical point for me of how we rise up from the ashes. Talk to me about that. Well, you know, some people go through their rock bottom for days, weeks, months. Yeah. That next day I wanted to know some answers. Yeah, I needed answers because I can't just sit with this any longer. It's going to drive me crazy.
00;31;26;20 - 00;31;50;08
Unknown
I think too much. Like when I say think a lot. Listen, I sit there and go through thoughts like it's. I go through thoughts quicker than you can change your underwear. Okay. So, so it's a lot of thoughts I go through. Yeah. And, and that's just on a regular day. So just imagine when something tragic happens to me.
00;31;50;10 - 00;32;23;21
Unknown
Yeah. You'd be, you know, doing a Ph.D. on all of it. Yeah. Listen, I'm trying to figure write this dissertation, but they get my doctorate in my own accident. Okay? And so when I finally start back communicating, I just ask the question, like, what happened? Do you know? Because I don't. And, you know, they start explain everything that I told you guys about the accident and the guy pulled now in front of me at the same intersection.
00;32;23;27 - 00;32;55;12
Unknown
However, there were two cars, not one, but two cars at that same intersection that were behind him on the police report, it states we saw the motorcycle coming. We don't know why he didn't. Now, this information is one that you want to hear, but you don't because now I know you were distracted. By what? I still don't know yet.
00;32;55;14 - 00;33;24;25
Unknown
Yeah, I honestly do not care to know because that's going to make it that much worse. You know, the fact that you were even distracted already makes it worse so that you tell me something that I really don't want to like a phone. If that much that completely turns your life upside. Yeah, completely. Now, the guy, he did want to come see me at a hospital.
00;33;24;27 - 00;33;43;21
Unknown
Did you think I want to see him new? Why would you want to come see me? I mean, I. Okay. I know why he would want to come see me, but he wasn't understanding it from my side. My point of view was I just woke up. Yes, I might have been in the hospital for over a month. To you.
00;33;43;24 - 00;34;11;14
Unknown
To me? I've only been here a couple of days because I'm just waking up. Or should I say, where? That I'm waking up. Yeah, Yeah. You know, so. And I'm not even ready to deal with what I'm dealing with. So dealing with you, the person who caused it. no, no. I think. I think you might want to stay away for a while because he was probably doing that for him.
00;34;11;14 - 00;34;31;10
Unknown
Exactly. Not realizing it from your point. Right. So how did you learn? And again and again, I do understand where he's coming from. We want to come because he wanted to apologize. That's what he was trying to do. But I wasn't ready. Not ready. Yeah. You know, so that's what I mean by that. Did that happen down the track?
00;34;31;13 - 00;34;59;10
Unknown
I'm sorry I said it again. Did the apology in the catch up happened later on. no, I don't. I don't have any with him. Yeah. So the reason he was able to try to come see me was because he was getting sued. So. So. So he had communications with my lawyers who reached out to my mother and in turn wanted to ask me if it was okay for him to come see me.
00;34;59;15 - 00;35;19;10
Unknown
I said, No, if you want me to go to jail, he can come. That's fine. She was like, What do you mean? I said, I'm going to find a way to get to him. And then, was there any justice in the end? I mean, yes, Yes. But tell me what justice really counts. I mean, exactly like. Yeah, yeah.
00;35;19;16 - 00;35;56;06
Unknown
You know this. Yeah. Tell me, how did your training help you to from here on, rebuild? tremendously. Yeah. Not only was it helping me navigate life, you know, my activities of daily living, such as cleaning yourself, hygiene, you know, able to make up my bed, clean my room, you know, fold clothes, put clothes myself, wash clothes, all that stuff, feed myself, cook for myself.
00;35;56;14 - 00;36;11;23
Unknown
All of these things are part of your, you know, activities of daily living. I can even I was telling somebody the other day, they were like, Yeah, me. No, no. I come to the door and get, you know, stuff if you need me to. I said, Dude, all I need to do is hear your car. I can get to it.
00;36;11;25 - 00;36;38;17
Unknown
I said, I can walk from my house to the clubhouse that's almost a half a mile away. And he was like, Wait, what? I was like, Yeah, dude, I've been trained on my neighborhood. I know how to navigate my neighborhood. Yeah, I don't need you from maybe, maybe 50 feet away to come get me. You know, it's a it's a curt it's a nice courtesy.
00;36;38;17 - 00;37;03;25
Unknown
I don't mind it. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like, you know, if if you were to be like, yeah, no, I'll make sure I'm at the door waiting on you. You listen, I'm not a baby unless you see something outside. I'm okay. And how, how, how were your friends and your family supporting you through this?
00;37;03;27 - 00;37;39;21
Unknown
In the beginning, it was so much support. I mean, listen, when I say some of my support, I don't think there was a day that went by. I was at that hospital. Nobody came. Yeah, there were like multiple people come in a day. Yeah. And when I hear you go, I'll give you a perfect prime example. The staff at the hospital were so blown away by my support that they were like, We've never seen so many people come see one person that they thought I was somebody famous.
00;37;39;24 - 00;38;12;29
Unknown
But like, seriously, the staff thought I was somebody famous. It's like, what does he do? Like, is he somebody, like, well-known or like a public figure or something? Yeah, Yeah, He's in the movie. Yeah. You know, I think it's the part it's so important. And I have a similar story. When I was living in hospital for two months there, and there was one day, which was a pivotal day where my twin sister and a whole bunch of my closest mates came and put me in my wheelchair and wheeled me across the road to a pub for dinner.
00;38;12;29 - 00;38;39;15
Unknown
And as we were walking through the corridor, like, you know, my friends are amazing human beings. And at that time in our early thirties, in their prime, in their career, on their mobiles dressed up, you know, walking down the hallway. And there was rumor that I was famous, too. Like it was like my entourage. Yeah, Yeah. But all that, like if I show up and I'm laughed so much that night, just, you know, they had to feed me and cut up my food.
00;38;39;15 - 00;39;13;02
Unknown
But just being feeling normal just for a moment, that was the day my time for the first time. So I think the joy of the polarity of having that support versus the despair that you go through when you lose so much in an accident is really important. Yeah. No, absolutely. You listen when when I when I caught wind that so so at the time of my accident I think maybe the next so may I think it was either June or July or June or July.
00;39;13;02 - 00;39;36;10
Unknown
I wanted it to, my lease on my apartment was coming due and so you know I can't help move my stuff out. I have no way. And there's absolutely no way I could have done it. Now, my mom, of course, you know, they had a key and everything to my apartment and my step dad and brothers and all of them, they could do it, my grandmother, uncles.
00;39;36;13 - 00;40;13;10
Unknown
But when I tell you, it was like if 15, I want to see like 50, somewhere between 15 and 17 members from the military, from my squadron came to my apartment. You know, now my, my mom was like, yeah, you guys can help if you like. So it's cool. Now, they just told that to one person, 15 to 17 of them show up.
00;40;13;12 - 00;40;46;16
Unknown
Yeah, usually taught one. That's that spirit of type of but that's the type of support that we do for especially our fallen, you know what I mean? And so when I say I lived on the third floor, by the way, third floor apartment, so you I looked for like two flights of steps. And when I say my apartment was emptied like completely empty and loaded up on U-Haul trailers, trucks, whatever, they could make it.
00;40;46;17 - 00;41;25;02
Unknown
They could put it on in 30 minutes. I would have loved to see minutes. You and me both. I wish they had a recorded it like somebody was just recording, man, because 30 minutes. I see you guys are proficient and efficient, but I can understand and I tell you, because we do cargo training for, for the aircraft that I was on the KC 135 and I said if I could, I would sign all of you off for, for a proficient cargo load.
00;41;25;04 - 00;42;00;04
Unknown
It was kind of use. That's what they did. That's so good. You know, it was, you know, how we were talking about mindset and how that's the most important thing. And particularly, you know, we need help when we need support. But with our mind from here on and how you recovered and obviously had to go through rehabilitation and then you had to learn what your life was going to be like, you know, without the use of your eyes and also parts of your body and that your career was going to change and your personal life was going to change.
00;42;00;06 - 00;42;31;02
Unknown
Can you give me like just an insight into what you've learned about mindset and the power of your mind and what you had to go through to achieve that? Yeah, well, that was a part of that. When I told you I had multiple, I guess you could say mental about, but also just those pitfalls that you feeling because it was like, wait a minute, what the heck just happened was?
00;42;31;02 - 00;42;50;25
Unknown
The first one, the second one was how do I get out of this? And that's when it was like, it's kind of one of those. I think that was the first sign of in denial. I think that was the first sign. And I was back home at this point. So, you know, a lot of people aren't coming coming to see me, you know, you know how it is.
00;42;50;25 - 00;43;15;04
Unknown
It starts to fade away down. Yeah, yeah. The support starts to fade away because they feel like you're doing better, which which are worse. And life goes on. Everybody. And yeah, yeah, everybody has stuff to do. I get it. I'm not saying I wish they could have kept going. I mean, I do wish they do, but that's when you have to face like, yeah, some of the toughest stuff, the distraction of everyone being there as well.
00;43;15;05 - 01;00;07;06
Unknown
Yes, life does go on and people have to continue living and we're.