Crazy Hockey Dads Podcast

Real stories. Real questions. Real hockey chaos.

This week, Scott and Jamie open up the inbox for a round of listener write-ins - the unfiltered questions and confessions from hockey parents everywhere. From kids getting moved to defense mid-season to dealing with burnout, overthinking, and team drama, this one’s part advice column, part group therapy.

In this episode:
- When your kid’s position changes and it messes with both your heads
- The parent who realized they needed a reset more than their player
- How to stay supportive when the season feels heavier than it should
- The fine line between “helping” and hovering

Plus: Scott and Jamie’s take on why sometimes the best thing you can do… is shut up and drive home

It’s an honest, funny, and surprisingly relatable peek into the real questions every hockey family wrestles with, whether they say them out loud or not.

Socials:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@crazy.hockey.dads

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crazyhockeydadspodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576627751551

What is Crazy Hockey Dads Podcast?

A relatable and honest podcast about the highs and lows of being a youth hockey parent. Join us as we share real stories, struggles, and wins from the rink, offering insights and support for parents navigating the world of youth hockey.

Scott:

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Crazy Hockey Dads podcast, the unfiltered podcast for hockey parents. No politics, no sugarcoating, just real talk for hockey parents in the trenches. Welcome back, my man.

Jamie:

What's up? Episode thirty nine?

Scott:

Thirty nine.

Jamie:

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I yeah. If you had told me that we were gonna be, like, closing it on 40, I mean, when did we start this?

Jamie:

March?

Scott:

Yeah. Something like that.

Jamie:

Right? March? Yeah. And here we are, like Wow. Just closing in on we're not at eight months yet.

Jamie:

Right?

Scott:

Yeah. Soon though. A week at a time. That's what we got. A week at a time.

Jamie:

It's pretty wild. And the stuff that we have lined up, it's pretty cool.

Scott:

Yeah. So finally finally, I am I am pleased.

Jamie:

Yes. I told you. I told you.

Scott:

Okay. So you can go ahead and share the news.

Jamie:

So so Scott sends me a screenshot yesterday from the guy from the devils, our contact from the devils that says that we are finally given permission to have Angelo Searce, Prostride CEO and owner of Prostride Elite Powerskating and New Jersey Devils Powerskating coach on for an interview.

Scott:

There we go. You did it. I told you. You finally did it.

Jamie:

I said their people just need to get in touch with our people.

Scott:

You're such a

Jamie:

And it just took some time to do.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie:

So along with Angelo, we have a lot planned. You and I are going to be very busy for the next

Scott:

Yeah, we've got some good interviews coming up.

Jamie:

Two and a half weeks. Do we give a preview of them now? Like, should we or should we not? Or should we just keep it secret?

Scott:

No. Listen. I I mean, you so next week, we got on Alex Kim. And for those

Jamie:

of you

Scott:

that don't know Alex Kim, he is the head coach for the Anaheim Junior Ducks, the 15 U triple a team and the 16 U triple a team out there.

Jamie:

And then he also helps out with his little guy.

Scott:

And he helps out with his little guy. He's got hockey academy out there in They

Jamie:

said they had 75 kids at one point. I think they have 30 now, he said.

Scott:

But that's what he's up to now, among other things. He's also, he played D1 and C double A D1.

Jamie:

A couple of different places.

Scott:

Two places. He played pro.

Jamie:

He played all over the place.

Scott:

In Europe, in Asia. So he's a wealth of information. I don't think he ever took a break from the game between playing I think and so, yeah. Coaching Yeah. And all the other stuff.

Scott:

So he's so he's on tap for next week. Yes. Angelo, obviously, you just mentioned. Yeah. He's on the horizon.

Scott:

And then there's a few other conversations that are happening. So we got some knowledgeable folks that are going to be on the show soon. Oh, yeah. Looking forward to

Jamie:

that. You and I, like I said, you and I have a busy two weeks in interview wise starting this Friday.

Scott:

Yep.

Jamie:

You and I are gonna be busy.

Scott:

Busy.

Jamie:

Yeah. It's good. Just busy.

Scott:

Yeah. No. It's awesome.

Jamie:

Yeah. No. It's it's great. You kidding me? It's just it's a lot.

Scott:

Listen, that's but I mean, look. We're, you know, happy to do it. Awesome. Yep. Learning a ton, sharing a ton.

Jamie:

Oh, it's talking to some really cool people, by

Scott:

No the doubt.

Jamie:

Like, really, really cool people.

Scott:

Besides, like, you know, the quote unquote cool, know what you're saying, but, like, super knowledgeable.

Jamie:

Yeah. So when I say cool, I don't mean, like, yes. That's what I mean. I mean, like, they have a ton to offer our audience as far as value wise. I mean, but we have some really cool stuff.

Jamie:

Yeah. And the crazy part about it is it's only gonna get better. Yeah. Which is hard to believe.

Scott:

Onward and upward, as they say.

Jamie:

Yeah, man.

Scott:

Yeah. But listen, before we keep going

Jamie:

Oh, yes.

Scott:

Let's, so Angelo, go ahead.

Jamie:

Angelo, ProStride, CHD 10 for 10% off. Angelo's power skating clinics. I think you mentioned last time that he has something for Thanksgiving you saw pop up someplace.

Scott:

Yeah. Gun email?

Jamie:

Yeah. Angelo's a tremendous power skating coach. New Jersey Devil's power skating coach finally coming on to our show. So if the New Jersey Devil's trust him.

Scott:

So should you.

Jamie:

So should you. You want me to keep going?

Scott:

Sure.

Jamie:

I feel we'll go back and forth. No. I can keep going. So, Howie's hockey, crazy 10, for 10% off. Love their stuff.

Jamie:

Yeah. I'm just a big fan. As you could see, I have the sweatshirt on that I bought when I was in Hershey when I was freezing my ass off. So CHD 10 for 10% off Howie's hockey. I I love their stuff.

Jamie:

Matter of fact, I'm actually going to email Mason over at Howie's, and I'm going to we need we're gonna put together, like, an order through him of, like, gear.

Scott:

Great. Yeah.

Jamie:

Like, that's coming. They have all new shit popping up.

Scott:

But do they have an actual brick and mortar? Or she's on

Jamie:

I wanna say they're in I can be absolutely lying about this, but I wanna say they're in Michigan.

Scott:

I can look it up.

Jamie:

I I wanna say Michigan's in my head. Yeah. Do me favor. Look it up for me. Yeah.

Jamie:

But I want I wanna say it's Michigan. Now brick and mortar, I I I'm pretty sure that's their factory that you can walk into, if I'm not mistaken. I'm assuming they have a showroom. Am I right am I was I right when I said Michigan or am I lying? I mean, I I think that's where they are.

Jamie:

But, again, I they're coming out with some, like, really cool stuff. Like, I saw, like, a they have, like, a t shirt with because they have bony on it. It's not it's not like the lamp. It was something else. But it was a cool little saying.

Jamie:

But yeah. So Crazy Tim for 10% off Howie's hockey. And then API, athletic performance insight, Eric, if you guys need any game tagging, if your coach or if the organization owner wants to do any game tagging or any video analytics, API, athletic performance insight, Eric has a very robust platform that we recommend to people. If you use if you fill out the informational sheet and you use Crazy Hockey Dads if you mention Crazy Hockey Dads, he will give you a 10 off discount, which is a $100 value to his platform. I know you guys use it

Scott:

We use it.

Jamie:

At the moment. You like? Love. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie:

Yeah. He tags they tag a couple of games for you guys every month?

Scott:

Yeah. We do like a game a weekend.

Jamie:

Oh, nice.

Scott:

Game a weekend. And then the kids have video review every other week.

Jamie:

And is it helpful? Has it been helping the kids?

Scott:

Absolutely. Good. Yeah.

Jamie:

Awesome. That was great. No. He's got a really good platform. I remember when he walked me through the platform and how robust it was, it was impressive.

Jamie:

Yeah. You can use it to its full potential, or you can use just kind of like the periphery version of it. And it's awesome.

Scott:

Yeah, well, think it's all just one version. But you're right. Can I

Jamie:

mean, you don't have to dive you can dive as deep into it as you want to, is what I mean?

Scott:

Right. And it's not necessary for all age groups or

Jamie:

skill sets. Well, that's what I mean. If you're using it for younger kids, you can show basic stuff. Right. And then if you use it for, obviously, college programs, use it.

Scott:

Yes.

Jamie:

Right? My point is that they obviously are looking at a lot deeper than, say, you know I

Scott:

would think so.

Jamie:

A U8 team.

Scott:

Yeah. No doubt. You know what I'm saying? So you were but yeah. So athletic performance.

Scott:

It's like, yeah. Yeah. No. Use the contact form. Get a free demo.

Scott:

Check them out. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome program. Yeah.

Scott:

Okay. So you're right. Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Jamie:

I thought so.

Scott:

That's where their flagship store and warehouse is located.

Jamie:

Yeah. Yeah. Howie's has some really cool stuff. And I must say, the sweatshirt that I bought is really comfortable. Like, really comfortable.

Scott:

And you look great in it. Naturally.

Jamie:

Are expecting anything else?

Scott:

Even a little bit.

Jamie:

No, no. But I love their stuff. So you and I are going to put together an order because we need to buy a bunch of shit

Scott:

from Yeah, let's go. Yeah. Alright. Cool. Yeah.

Scott:

Geography update?

Jamie:

Yeah, geography update. So we mentioned Slovakia, right? We mentioned we picked up a bunch of states. And all of a sudden, we got off last week, and you and I have not put this out into the world, by the way. Normally, like, we put it out there and it kinda happens.

Scott:

What do you mean?

Jamie:

Like, we would say, like, oh, you know, we're not in Alabama or we're not in, like, West Virginia, then all of sudden it happens.

Scott:

Yeah.

Jamie:

Right? So neither one of us put out South Africa.

Scott:

No. Wasn't even thinking about South Africa.

Jamie:

Didn't even know they had ice hockey there. No. So apparently, we have a listener or or one or more listeners from South Africa.

Scott:

Yeah. So, anyway, thank you South Africa for checking us out. Any any other parts of the world that are listening for the first time, thank you so much for Yes. For tuning in. Appreciate it.

Jamie:

Yeah. So cool that you guys are here. No doubt. That makes 29 countries?

Scott:

I didn't count.

Jamie:

I did.

Scott:

Well then, it must be true.

Jamie:

So we're 29.

Scott:

Yeah, man. Yeah. Awesome. So all that said, exciting stuff coming up. We got Barry.

Scott:

But let's talk last weekend. Just let's catch up how did it go hockey wise Do on your we have to? Okay then. I'm just kidding. Segment.

Jamie:

I'm joking. I'm really joking. I was joking. I was joking.

Scott:

Were you?

Jamie:

I was, actually.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

I did. I'm joking. Okay. I keyed. I keyed.

Jamie:

Last weekend, why don't you go first so I can gather my thoughts?

Scott:

Oh, okay.

Jamie:

And I was

Scott:

just kidding.

Jamie:

I don't need to gather my thoughts, but you go ahead.

Scott:

Okay. Fine. I will go first. So I was only at one of two games. Thankfully, the boys

Jamie:

Why are you only at one of two games?

Scott:

Because I had, my daughter Unbelievable. What do mean? We can't be in two places at the same time. What do you mean? Orly took Noah on Saturday and then I took Noah on Sunday.

Scott:

No joking. So in any event, Saturday we played a 12 u team. Oh, right. Older kids. Yep.

Scott:

So they were older. So 2000 thirteens? Thirteen's. And I think someone told them that there was like a couple fourteens on that team.

Jamie:

We're all 20 You guys are

Scott:

four fourteens. And we've got one fifteen

Jamie:

Got it.

Scott:

On the team.

Jamie:

Got

Scott:

it. Yeah, no, they played well. We went to overtime and lost. Right. But you know, the kids, the the other team was like, you know, more physical.

Scott:

I mean, quite frankly, I thought they the other team was the better team on the ice. You did. The goalies, our goalies played well, made some great saves. Okay. Kept us in the game.

Scott:

But at the end of the day, we just found ways to kinda get those greasy pucks in front of the net and bang some in. Nice. So that was awesome. And it was exciting. It was exciting for the kids.

Scott:

Was, know, like that, you know, like down, come back, go up, go down, come back. So in any event, went to overtime three v three, lost. And you know,

Jamie:

Was Oman on the ice foot?

Scott:

He was on the ice four. Yeah. Yeah. That was and you know, he said I like, it's like I had no idea what was going on. Yeah.

Scott:

And I'm like

Jamie:

I know it's confusing if don't play three and three.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. Especially, like, in your defensive zone because, like, you know, the puck 100%. Ends up in the

Jamie:

corner and, like, three you people go over to it.

Scott:

Yeah. Or or, like, you know, he he's, like, getting into position for, a rim around or like for a breakout, and then like if we don't win the puck, then his guy is like wide open. 100%. And not that that's what happened, but like Yeah. There was a lack of positional soundness and

Jamie:

I know the feeling.

Scott:

You know.

Jamie:

That happened to Dominik like a couple weeks ago. Think we talked about it. Yeah. He was just out of position and was like, oh, shit.

Scott:

Yeah. But I don't even I I don't even think they've practiced three on three.

Jamie:

I know we have not.

Scott:

Like, like, they've made they've done, like, three on three small area games, but they haven't done, like

Jamie:

three on three.

Scott:

What's happening in overtime.

Jamie:

We have not done it either, which is surprising. Think we should. Tyler, take notes. Yeah.

Scott:

I mean, look, I think it's I don't know. Once you come across it, it's probably worthwhile to review kinda what happened there and if you're in the situation again.

Jamie:

It's not the worst thing.

Scott:

No. Nope. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.

Jamie:

I don't think we've ever done that either. But, yeah, not a bad thing, don't think.

Scott:

Yeah. He played a you know, he's he's getting better. He's def and, again, I just I just wanna call this out because, you know, progress, and we've said it before, just seems to happen much more slowly than one would like.

Jamie:

It does. This is true. Unfortunately, this

Scott:

is there progress. And, you know, just just watching him, like, off the hop, likes like, on his, like, forecheck, backcheck, like, you know, there's moments of like intensity that I am I'm not used to seeing

Jamie:

That you like.

Scott:

That I like. Right. You know, again, it's just working on consistency and doing it more often. Yeah. And, you know, but I just wanted to call that out because like, you know, as as as easy it is to just look at the negative things and

Jamie:

Yes.

Scott:

You know, maybe even over index on the fact that like, you know, there was one bad play and just make it the the whole game about that one bad play, for example. It was it was good. Then Saturday, I wasn't there. Sunday, I wasn't there. And, like, the fucking Bridgewater, dude.

Scott:

Like, how do they do not stream games from there? Neither neither ring stream games.

Jamie:

I get it. We played there for two years.

Scott:

Fucking bullshit. What's their problem? Like, why do they not?

Jamie:

So so I think they do now. I I wanna say they do now. For who? I I wanna say Black Bear TV. Does that sound right?

Jamie:

I know they didn't for a while.

Scott:

Oh, they do

Jamie:

now? So don't quote me on it, but I wanna say

Scott:

You know, I didn't even look because I just assumed the answer

Jamie:

Yeah. Was I again, I I I Pull

Scott:

that up,

Jamie:

Jamie. I

Scott:

Nice. I'm gonna do. Got it. Bridgewater Sports Arena. It's on Blockbare?

Jamie:

It is.

Scott:

So I'll go video on demand to watch it.

Jamie:

And let's see if their other rank is there. So that is their now don't get me wrong. They did not have anything. This is the first year that I'm aware that they are having are having anything.

Scott:

Oh my god. That's crazy because I actually haven't even looked. We've played there twice, and I didn't even bother looking because I assume the answer is no. Yeah. Okay.

Scott:

So fine. Great. I bet you both.

Jamie:

I think both they're both there now.

Scott:

Awesome. What do you mean both?

Jamie:

Both rinks. You mean They have they own a rink that's ten minutes away as well.

Scott:

Oh, what rink is that?

Jamie:

Dan Ellin.

Scott:

I don't know that I've ever been there. Not that that

Jamie:

mean, It's like shithole, so if you were there, you'd know.

Scott:

There's plenty of rinks that happen.

Jamie:

Although, I will say this. The bathrooms used to rival some of the worst bathrooms in all of Utah. Yep. Cutting edge. But, although they although they just put a ton of money into

Scott:

The oh, the other rink?

Jamie:

A truckload of it.

Scott:

Oh, I have to like, speaking of, like you know, you're just making me think of we were down at Red Bank, not this past weekend, the weekend before.

Jamie:

The place is tremendous. You had the pizza, didn't you?

Scott:

Hold on. Hold on. So and anyway, like, the place the place is gorgeous, like, when you, like, So walk cool. Dude, those the locker room that our boys were in Yeah. It was wretched the way it smelled in there.

Scott:

Really? Fucking wretched.

Jamie:

Were there like 18 year olds in there right before you?

Scott:

No. It was smelled of like piss. That's disgusting. Like like kinda hardcore.

Jamie:

That is a gorgeous building too. That's disappointing.

Scott:

I And was so I got I I was like because I've been trying to not trying to. I have been watching what I eat and, you know, trying to drop some more LOBs. Right. So pizza's not on my

Jamie:

On your list of my approved list. Surprised me.

Scott:

But I was there and I was like, ugh, Jamie talks about this. I gotta get some pizza.

Jamie:

Best pizza on youth hockey.

Scott:

So I got I I I got a slice and so I I was I finished it. I'll tell you my thoughts about it in a moment.

Jamie:

Okay.

Scott:

But then a dad walked in and I guess he had, you know, he saw me just like finishing my last bite.

Jamie:

And You're try the pizza?

Scott:

No. He he said he goes he says to me, best best pizza in all of you, Todd. Bro. And then I thought to myself, so it's a dad on our team.

Jamie:

Oh, does

Scott:

or you listen to our podcast? Well, that's what I thought because he said the exact same words. And I said, you know, that's so funny. A buddy of mine always says the same thing, Like, not knowing if he watch, you know,

Jamie:

he listens. If he listens or not. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so he has not actually said to you like, listen to your podcast?

Scott:

I don't I don't I don't know. I'm maybe he said he's listened to it. Interesting. Any event. So the best piece in all of you talkie.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

So that's fucking funny.

Scott:

So now so now I've I've eaten the pizza Right. And he makes this comment. Right. So let me tell you, that pizza was terrible. What?

Scott:

I'm not gonna lie. It was and so but but listen. Listen. This is this is it it was I I I was like, this this can't be right. There's something wrong.

Scott:

Maybe the wrong person knew

Jamie:

say something's wrong.

Scott:

So but listen. After so when he told me that it's, like, the best piece in your pocket

Jamie:

Did he have a piece, by the way?

Scott:

Not well, let me get to that. So I didn't say to him, yeah. I don't I think that was, like, terrible. I just said,

Jamie:

oh, yeah. Jamie's a fucking yo yo.

Scott:

And then I'm thinking to myself, I don't know what I don't know. Has Jamie ever had pizza before? Because this is not good.

Jamie:

Dude, it was so good.

Scott:

Okay. So and so the dad that I was talking to was also mentioning that like, oh, the breakfast here is delicious.

Jamie:

It is. It is.

Scott:

Okay. Well, I don't believe you.

Jamie:

Fuck, dude. It is. I'm telling you.

Scott:

And so later on after the I got home that night and he sent me a DM and he said, yeah, that pizza was terrible.

Jamie:

Shit.

Scott:

And so he's like, I don't know what happened because it used to be delicious, but what I had today was not the same.

Jamie:

So clearly something's changed.

Scott:

Something's changed. Yeah. But so I because I had all these high hopes and then

Jamie:

I Something's changed.

Scott:

My fur I took the first bite and I literally thought to

Jamie:

myself Wow,

Scott:

James. Was like I was like, I don't think Jamie's eating pizza before. This is horrible. One bite every knows rules. Horrible.

Scott:

And then I thought to myself, was like, fuck.

Jamie:

Crazy hockey dad's pizza reviews? No. One bite, everyone knows rules?

Scott:

What's that from?

Jamie:

Dave Portnoy.

Scott:

I don't know that. What? I don't know that.

Jamie:

Wait. What? Heard You know do you know who Dave Pornoy Yeah.

Scott:

Parcel Sports.

Jamie:

But you don't know Dave Pornoy? Everybody knows the rules?

Scott:

No.

Jamie:

Are you

Scott:

No. I'm not joking. Don't know what you're talking about.

Jamie:

I'm questioning that you're an American right now. What? I'm questioning that you're actually an American. Why? You don't know one bite, everybody knows the rules from Dave Portnoy?

Jamie:

No. Bro, go to your Google right now.

Scott:

I'm not going to Google now. Go to your Google No.

Jamie:

And go to YouTube and punch up Dave Portnoy.

Scott:

I'll do it after the after we're done recording.

Jamie:

Bro.

Scott:

I don't wanna get sidetracked on this right

Jamie:

Alright. So let me let me What is it? Let me fill you in Just since clearly you have no fucking idea. So yeah, you should know this, by the way.

Scott:

Well, I'm going to in a minute.

Jamie:

You will, but I shouldn't have to tell you this. Dave obviously, you know who Dave Portnoy is. Yes. So Dave Portnoy is a big fan of pizza.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Okay? He's Has

Scott:

he been to the Armory?

Jamie:

Probably not.

Scott:

Okay. Well, don't go if you're listening, Dave.

Jamie:

Clearly something has changed. It used to be very good.

Scott:

Alright. Anyways, so go go go.

Jamie:

And I haven't had it in a couple years but because pizza's not on my approved list either, but I'm gonna have to have it next time I go. So Dave Portnoy years ago started a YouTube channel where he reviewed pizza.

Scott:

Was this before Barstool?

Jamie:

After Barstool. Okay.

Scott:

Yeah. So he's like a kind of a household name already?

Jamie:

Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Got it. Yeah.

Jamie:

So he started again, just look it up while I'm talking because I wanna make sure I get the YouTube channel right. So Dave Portnoy started a a pizza, and and and his signature catch line is one bite, everybody knows the rules. I think it's called one just look it up. One bite pizza review or something like that. What's it called?

Scott:

Yeah. One bite pizza rankings.

Jamie:

Okay. So there you go. So his his his signature line is one bite, everybody knows the rules, but yet he takes, like, he'll finish the fucking piece, or he'll take multiple bites, which is the funny part about it. But so he's so he's like

Scott:

Sally's is on there.

Jamie:

Bro, he's he's gone everywhere.

Scott:

My buddy, shout out Ted. Ted Ted. Ted z.

Jamie:

Oh, that's right. You know the guy from Sally's.

Scott:

Well, he's not the owner. He

Jamie:

No. But he works for them.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're expanding.

Jamie:

So he's been all over, as you could see. As you're looking up, he's been in Boston. He's been in New York. He's been to Philly. He's been to

Scott:

Mount Vernon. No shit.

Jamie:

He's been to New Haven. He's been all over. They goes everywhere. And if somebody writes in, hey. Go review.

Jamie:

And so normally, he he's very not stingy with his scores, but it's hard to get a good score from Dave.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Yeah. So so that's that's so there's your now you know what one bite pizza reviews are. Sweet. You should watch his YouTube channel. He's funny as shit.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

My guess is the Armory is not on his list.

Scott:

I'm looking to see.

Jamie:

And if the if you tell me that the pizza's shit now, then I'm not going to to email him and tell him to go check it out.

Scott:

So Red Bank is on

Jamie:

the list. I see that, but it's not the Armory.

Scott:

Let's see it.

Jamie:

That's disappointing, Scott. They used to have tremendous pizza. Wonder what happened Maybe a new guy's running it back behind the counter because that cafe there in the lobby of Red Bank Armory is, in my opinion, the food is great there.

Scott:

No. That was terrible.

Jamie:

The food's great there. And you know where else the the food is also great, probably has the best drinks in all of Utah, is the place in Hollydale.

Scott:

Yeah. I knew you were gonna say that.

Jamie:

Nicest rinks in all of youth hockey.

Scott:

Is it?

Jamie:

It's I think it's a cool place to go watch a game. Okay. Great. I bet you people from that area I don't we don't live down there, but my guess is people from that area go to Dunlop's just to eat without having a hockey player.

Scott:

Maybe. The

Jamie:

hell it was actually decent.

Scott:

The yeah. Yeah. Alright. Cool.

Jamie:

Yeah. So How'd we get on that, by the way?

Scott:

Because we were talking about the hockeying weekend. Right. And I don't know. Anyway,

Jamie:

You were down at Red Bank.

Scott:

So anyway, so but that was two weekends ago.

Jamie:

I don't know

Scott:

why I brought it up. But getting back to it just real quick. So then Saturday, I wasn't Sunday, I wasn't there. They won. Otto yeah.

Scott:

Otto put some points on the board over the weekend. The last two weekends have been he's it's been fruitful. Right. And I think like overall, he's doing well. Bottom line, he's doing well.

Scott:

Always things to work on. But yeah, doing well. Good. Doing well.

Jamie:

Good. Nice. Very nice.

Scott:

How about you?

Jamie:

So we had one game Saturday, one game Sunday. Saturday, we were out in the fucking middle of Long Island. Jesus Christ. I fucking hate driving out there.

Scott:

Yeah, it's the worst.

Jamie:

It's one of the worst places to go.

Scott:

Because there's traffic in both directions It's awful. The

Jamie:

All the time. It's an awful place to go play ice hockey. No offense to people that live on the island, but Jesus Christ. So what's funny is I ran into a we were actually playing against a kid that was on our old Rockets team.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Yeah. So he actually got hurt, like, midway through the game and came off the ice.

Scott:

Oh, no. Yeah. And I didn't see him after that, so I'm not sure what happened there, but I don't think it was I don't think

Jamie:

it was serious. So Dominic decide he actually was very physical in the game on Saturday. He was hitting everything and everybody, so that was cool.

Scott:

That's great.

Jamie:

Yeah. That that was great. And then, he actually did decide to start playing, like, with the hockey puck to the last, like, minute.

Scott:

Saved the best for last.

Jamie:

Literally. Literally scored with, like, fifty five seconds, and then and then assisted with, like, seven seconds.

Scott:

Okay. But listen. You just got finished saying that he was super physical throughout the game.

Jamie:

He

Scott:

was. So, like

Jamie:

He was.

Scott:

So you're saying that that wasn't sufficient?

Jamie:

No. It was it was fine.

Scott:

Okay. But you're you're just saying from, like, from his normal, like, offensive, like, production, meaning that, like, he's a skilled player, blah blah blah. He didn't start, like, kind of

Jamie:

Yeah. Yeah. He he was focusing on, like, hitting and doing other stuff.

Scott:

Okay. That's not bad.

Jamie:

No. It was fine. It was bad. Yeah. And I think we won seven three, something like that.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

You know?

Scott:

So he won handily.

Jamie:

Yeah. Coach on the other team got thrown off the ice.

Scott:

It's the worst. Why? Why? What did this coach do?

Jamie:

No. I'm not sure, to be honest with you.

Scott:

Know, the one time

Jamie:

I He's arguing if Dominic was offside. Dominic, he was that wasn't even close though. Like, it wasn't even close.

Scott:

You know, I got thrown off the bench He

Jamie:

got tossed for whatever

Scott:

got thrown off the bench once. And can I tell you something? Tell me. The one time I got thrown off the bench was because in a very calm and direct way, I told the ref

Jamie:

Now I know you for a long time now. Your common direct way are well, go ahead. Continue.

Scott:

No. All I'm saying is that, yes, I've had a history of being somewhat explosive.

Jamie:

Your common direct is maybe not other people's common direct.

Scott:

Listen, when I was a kid, that's a different story. I'm I'm much older now.

Jamie:

This is true. So continue. So you were common direct.

Scott:

Oh, I'm saying, like, you know, like coaches, like, you know, you start giving it to the raffle event Yeah. From the bench and, like, yelling and not Yep. You cursing at them, but just saying, like, come on, you you know Right.

Jamie:

Go ahead.

Scott:

Any event.

Jamie:

Right, you

Scott:

after one of my kids got hammered, like kind of open ice,

Jamie:

and

Scott:

then he then retaliated and like

Jamie:

The kid?

Scott:

The kid did. Yeah, I might even be messing this up a little bit. But retaliated, our kid got a penalty and the other kid who like open ice body checked him didn't get a penalty. And I said to him, I think I said to the ref, like as I'm walking off the ice checking, you know, with my player, making sure that he's okay.

Jamie:

He said he's not dead. Yeah.

Scott:

And I I said to him, like, and you're not gonna call the fucking body check?

Jamie:

Oh, you said it to him.

Scott:

That's what I said, and he threw me off. And I just said it to him. Like, I didn't even, like I wasn't even yelling. I just said, you're not gonna call the fucking body check? And he sent me off.

Scott:

And people are looking around like, why are you getting sent off?

Jamie:

Yeah. Alright. So that's a bit much. Alright. So well, hold on.

Jamie:

Let me let me rewind. Were you calling him like a motherfucker for the entire game

Scott:

No. Cursed. No. I just I I got off the ice and I stood I stood by the door next to the bench and I watched, but it was bullshit. I mean, like

Jamie:

Were you on him leading up to that point is my is what I'm telling you. Like, were you, like, in his ear constantly during the game?

Scott:

No. Not that I remember. I just remember being kinda taken back that he actually threw me off. It was like

Jamie:

Well, yes. It sounds like it probably wasn't very warranted.

Scott:

It's not like I it's not like I aired that out in front of everyone in front of the bench, in front of the kids. I was just like, you're not gonna call that? Like, I well, no. I said, fuck. You're not gonna call that fucking body check?

Jamie:

Okay. Do you you think you threw up just for cursing? Probably. Coaches curse all the time.

Scott:

That's what I'm saying. Anyway

Jamie:

I'm with you.

Scott:

I digress. No. No. No. You're good.

Scott:

This guy got thrown out. You don't know why.

Jamie:

So he got thrown off. It was right after Dominic's breakaway, which maybe he somebody said they thought he was complaining about the offside. He wasn't close to being offsides, though. But so I don't know. So the guy so the guy tossed him.

Jamie:

We had three refs, by the way. Different. And those I'm lucky if we get two,

Scott:

let alone three. And between those three refs, they still managed to not get the right goal scorer or assist giver on the last two goals. Right?

Jamie:

Yeah. Dominik's goal was 93 to 22. Yeah. They gave it to 72, my buddy's kid unassisted, I think. Amazing.

Jamie:

Then

Scott:

Who was or was not on the ice?

Jamie:

Who was not on the ice.

Scott:

Amazing.

Jamie:

And then at zero seconds left in the game, they gave another goal to 72, which was Dominic 22 to seven.

Scott:

And was

Jamie:

With seven seconds left, and they gave just to 72.

Scott:

Was 72 on the ice for either goal? No. But there was three refs. Yes. And they couldn't get it right.

Scott:

Listen. Unless the unless the scorekeeper has

Jamie:

was the hearing problem. Gonna say this rink was shockingly loud. Like, when I say they blare music, it's a fun environment. Don't get me wrong. Yeah.

Jamie:

But Jesus Christ.

Scott:

So maybe she just didn't hear or he didn't hear anything Yeah.

Jamie:

It's very possible.

Scott:

And they just pick

Jamie:

It is very possible. Yeah. Yeah. 722 does sound like 72.

Scott:

Oh, I didn't even hear. Okay. Okay.

Jamie:

93 to 22 does not sound like 72. But what's funny is that my buddy actually texted me later on and he sent me a photo of the score sheet. He's like, apparently I paid the refs off today.

Scott:

Well, there you go. Yeah. Very funny. Alright. Yeah.

Scott:

But no. Okay. So we're not done. Quick story yeah. So then

Jamie:

That was Saturday. So we came in little fucking nowhere, Long Island, unfortunately. And and then Sunday we had a home game and Dominic played defense.

Scott:

And when was the last time he played defense? Never. Never. So never ago he played defense. He

Jamie:

one shift of D when he was a full ice mite. And when I say one shift, I mean it was like forty five seconds.

Scott:

And so what brought this about?

Jamie:

So I guess our coach is looking to solidify the back end of our team.

Scott:

When you say okay. Solidify meaning, like, you've you've been, like, they've have they been trying different players out at D?

Jamie:

Yes.

Scott:

Yes. Okay. So this has been, like, an ongoing, like, investigation to see who's gonna be the best fit to kinda

Jamie:

Right. Fires. Okay. And Dominic has been struggling on offense, getting and he's in his head and all that crazy stuff. So I don't think it was a terrible idea to try to light a fire under him.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

So he played defense. He was not happy about it. Yeah. He was not happy leading up to it. And I wouldn't say he claims that he doesn't like it.

Jamie:

Okay? And I said

Scott:

Well, people resist change. Fair.

Jamie:

Right. Which you should expect from a 13 year old. Right?

Scott:

No doubt.

Jamie:

So I get it. So There

Scott:

aren't many kids that have had been, like, prolific on offensive side of the puck and then get asked to play defense. They're like, oh, sick. That's what I was hoping for.

Jamie:

You know what? It's funny too because I asked

Scott:

I would think.

Jamie:

I asked Alec Marsh about this. And he said, Jamie goes, some of your best forwards make your best D men.

Scott:

Right, but whether or not that they're looking to make that change Well, yes. Is what I'm speaking to.

Jamie:

Yes, you're not wrong.

Scott:

I'm sure Dominik could be very dangerous as a defenseman.

Jamie:

Well, we'll see.

Scott:

On the offensive side of the puck.

Jamie:

Right, on the offensive side. So he was obviously so focused on playing D and not letting anybody walk around him that I think the offensive part of his game lacked.

Scott:

Well, that's where his focus should have been.

Jamie:

100%. So I think once he gets more comfortable because you could see that he has ability back there. He retrieves the puck very quickly, skates the puck up the ice, and he was throwing saucer passes, which was really cool to watch.

Scott:

That's amazing.

Jamie:

Yeah, that was cool. I'm not gonna lie. And he can see the ice from back there. So I don't necessarily mind it, to be honest with you, Scott. I actually wanna see what he will do for the rest of the season back there, especially as he gets more comfortable defensively, and maybe he starts actually chipping in on offense, which I think he will.

Scott:

So you said the rest of the season. So that's been made clear that this

Jamie:

is, like, signed, sealed, delivered? I think he's gonna try this for the rest of the season.

Scott:

Or so the at least the intention is long term. This isn't like a one and done. This is

Jamie:

like I don't think so.

Scott:

This is the new position. Get used to

Jamie:

it. For now.

Scott:

And unless something changes Yeah. This is home for you now.

Jamie:

Yes. Because they moved one of the defenders who's a big kid up to forward. And like like you said, were trying a bunch of kids back on d. Yeah. You know?

Jamie:

And and and and again, Dominic passes the puck very nicely. Yeah. And he sees the ice well.

Scott:

Playmaker.

Jamie:

Yeah. Yeah. So he so he's I I I understand why Tyler wants to do it. I get it.

Scott:

All right. So so this is actually, like, a good thing. So I'm gonna interrupt you for a second Yeah. No. And then we'll get back onto it.

Scott:

But so as far as, like, today's episode, we've been talking recently that we've had some write ins. So we're gonna more or less like an AMA type of thing. We have a bunch of questions that people Ask us anything? AUA? Sure.

Scott:

We can do that too. So there's a few questions I got queued up that we'll address. But I think this is a question that, you know, anyone or not just anyone, but, you know, parents have. And that's just like Yeah. How how when your kid when the coach changes your kid's position

Jamie:

Yeah. How do For you

Scott:

quote unquote better or worse. And better or worse would mean potentially the way your kid feels about it. Better or worse may be from a parent's perspective on what they think their kid is, should be doing. And, you know, I think you anyway, so if you could just kinda like walk through like this process for you as a parent being told that your kid's now going from offense to defense. Right.

Scott:

And also what it was like for Dom, kinda his, how he's digesting this so far. Okay. And what are some of those conversations you've had between you and the coach, you and your spouse perhaps, between Nancy and Dom? How are you guys all processing this?

Jamie:

Okay. Good question. So when I guess it was the the assistant coach who raised it to Tyler and said maybe we should do this.

Scott:

Tyler's the head coach.

Jamie:

Tyler's the head coach. So Tyler texted me and said, hey listen, I'm going to try Dominic on defense.

Scott:

Okay. And this was when?

Jamie:

Call it midweek ish. Oh, so

Scott:

going into this weekend, knew this was the thing?

Jamie:

I knew that it was possible that it would happen.

Scott:

Okay, that's good. It's not like he had sprung it on you.

Jamie:

No. And I think Dom played a little bit of D during the week.

Scott:

In practice? Yeah. Got it.

Jamie:

So my first feeling was, listen, it's your team. You do whatever you think is right.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

In my head, I'm going, I've seen him play fucking defense. This is not gonna go well.

Scott:

Well, wait. When you say you've seen him play defense, you've seen him, like, be in like, when they're in the defensive zone and he's a forward, how he's played defense as a forward. You haven't seen him play defense as a defenseman.

Jamie:

I saw the one shift when he was a full iceman. But that's not Alcock. Really? Listen. I you're not wrong.

Jamie:

However, I know my child.

Scott:

Okay. Got it.

Jamie:

Okay? Listen, do I think he can do it? I do. Yeah. I think Dominic, if he wants to, could be a Lane Hudson, Cole Hudson, Seamus Casey, Cal type of player back there.

Jamie:

You saw it already in the one game he played.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Right? So so my my initial feeling was, yikes. Okay. Okay? Because he's also struggling with effort level and listen Listen.

Jamie:

Does it look right? It does look right. Dominic back skates very well. He crosses over backwards very well. He can angle very well.

Jamie:

Like, so I understand I understand why the coach wants him to do it. And he can make plays from back there.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

So I get it. Like, I get it from his perspective. From my perspective, I'm going, Oh my God, this is not gonna go over well. That was my initial feeling. With him?

Jamie:

With him.

Scott:

Okay, but for you as a parent, like, you know, like, do you were you thinking to yourself, Oh, well, he's having a hard time on forward, like, are we, like, abandoning ship? Should he

Jamie:

not be working on those I actually had no problem with the change. Because sometimes when you make a change and you feel very negative about it, things come out of it for the good that you're not paying attention to. Those unintended things

Scott:

Right. They're like the silver linings.

Jamie:

They always come out. And generally, when you're thinking about something and you're in an emotional state, you're not going to see the forest through the trees. That's fair. I knew that something good would come out of this. It was not a bad idea to change him.

Jamie:

And again, I don't think Tyler said, oh, he's struggling on forward, let's change him. Don't

Scott:

Right, think that's no, what it that wasn't the motivation.

Jamie:

No, the motivation was Dominic sees the ice well, we need somebody that can make plays from the back and move the puck up the ice from behind the net. So as a parent, I didn't have a problem with it. And I also and I think I told you this or I told someone this yesterday I want my kid to be put in uncomfortable situations. Did I tell you that? Yes.

Jamie:

Okay. So I like when my kid is uncomfortable because I want him to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable. Right. Right? Right.

Jamie:

Okay. So as a parent, I was not resisting the move.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Okay? Nancy didn't have a problem with it. Dominic did.

Scott:

Who told Dominic? You told Dominic or the coaches told Dominic at practice?

Jamie:

I think Tyler told me, and I think he he told Dominic. And when Dominic came

Scott:

to me, I think I played dumb. Oh, god. I was like, really? You don't say.

Jamie:

What's that about? So, hopefully, he doesn't listen to this episode.

Scott:

I don't

Jamie:

think he listens to the podcast out. But so he said, I'm going to play really well on offense on Saturday so Tyler won't move me back

Scott:

to defense on Sunday. He thought it was like a punishment. Interesting.

Jamie:

Yeah. Dominic thought because he knew he was struggling on offense, he's going, what the fuck? So Dominic, I think, initially thought it was a punishment but then I spoke to him gently and I said, Hey bud, this is not a bad thing. Right? You could make plays from back here.

Jamie:

You really you say you like being physical, this is not a bad thing

Scott:

You to influence the game.

Jamie:

Right. I know you don't understand the position, and we'll go over some YouTube videos, and we'll look into it so you have a basic idea of how to play it. And we did. We went through some basic YouTube videos about positioning and angling, something like that, right? Because I knew his head was going to be spinning, which is probably why offensively he was not doing a whole heck of a lot.

Jamie:

Like, he shot the puck on net a couple times, but no dangerous, dangerous stuff, He moved the puck nicely, though. Will say that. Even after he played it, he came home and he was like I don't like it. It's boring.

Scott:

Boring. Boring is always coached for that. Auto also would say things like oh it's boring. I don't think that's what you mean.

Jamie:

No, it's not. That's not what you mean. Yeah. They say boring, they mean something else.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Yeah, exactly right.

Scott:

Like, I don't like it.

Jamie:

I one don't want to do 100%. And boring is just the word they use for it. Exactly. So

Scott:

It's like, you even know what boring actually means?

Jamie:

Seriously. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? So think he's so he'll practice this week at D. Tyler's going to keep him there for the foreseeable future, which, again, I don't think is a bad thing.

Scott:

I don't think so either.

Jamie:

And I think he'll get used to it, and I think he will actually grow to like it.

Scott:

Maybe.

Jamie:

Do I think he's a D in, like, juniors? Probably not.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

But for now, I have no problem whatsoever. Even if it's through high school, don't really care.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

And I told them, I go, Dude, you can affect the game and have an impact on the play No from back doubt. Go, Layne Hudson just got $70,000,000 I go, Luke Hughes just got $9,000,000 for eight years. Right? Same number. I go, those guys got that for a reason.

Jamie:

Yeah. I mean, the offensive defenseman is a luxury these days.

Scott:

No doubt it's a role on all teams. Right? And it's something that, you know, and also with, you know, with the hockey, like the idea of like kind of being a bit positionless in the offensive zone. Right. You know, when you you can interchange your defenseman with your forwards, etcetera.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Forward could drop back if the defensive comes down.

Scott:

Yeah. But but more so that, like, you know, in the defensive zone, like, you know, like a true forward is not gonna necessarily have the defensive chops, but you're more likely to have, like, an offensive defenseman that can, you know, cycle the puck and, like, you know

Jamie:

Yes.

Scott:

Make make plays you know, further advance in the offensive zone.

Jamie:

So I see what you're

Scott:

saying. Yeah. But the yeah. No. I think that that's great.

Scott:

I think that for him that just being back there, and I don't know. Look, haven't seen his team play. Well, I just saw them play once, but I can say this anecdotally is that, like, when probably more so with teams that are not that good or, you know what, even let me take that back. But I think you'll see that when Dom has the puck and he's able to keep possession of the puck and, you know, pull some escape turns and create some space for himself to start making plays and the other team sees that he's like a very competent like stick handler and playmaker, that you'll probably find that they're gonna back off a little bit because they're not gonna wanna get burned Yeah. Because he's quick.

Scott:

So if you have you know, and again, I could be wrong. I've just seen it. I I've seen it before and it's and I think that the those there's there's it creates like a level of respect, if you will Yeah. For what's kinda happening there. And if you overextend yourself as a forward trying to like, you know, take away time and space and you're concerned you're gonna get burned, you back off.

Scott:

You back off, and that that'll just open up the game. And the defensive zone play, you you you you might find that because Dominic's back there, their team is gonna have maybe an easier time breaking out sometimes Right. You know, and getting out of the zone when you have people that are dangerous with the puck.

Jamie:

Right. Yeah. Listen, it's gonna be interesting. I'm curious to see where where it's gonna go. You know?

Jamie:

Yeah. Know? Listen, he made a comment to me yesterday. He came from a skill session where he worked out with the AAA kids and he's like, dad, I think I'm back. So I was like, okay, cool bud.

Scott:

You'll find out. I go, where the hell you been?

Jamie:

Glad you're back. Right? Yeah. Where'd you go? Yeah.

Jamie:

I said it. I go, where the hell you been for the last month? But glad you're back. Yeah. You know?

Jamie:

So whatever. But, yeah. So that that's how Dominic reacted to it. That's how I reacted to it. That's how my wife reacted to it.

Jamie:

After the game, the assistant coach whose idea, I think it was initially, came out and said to my wife because I was not there but said to my wife, whether Dominic likes it or not, he may have a career back there. Sure. So we'll see. Yeah. So they were happy with his play back there.

Jamie:

He made some mistakes, like, from what I could see. Of course he will. But they weren't they weren't he didn't he didn't get burned for a goal. He, I will say this. We won seven one, and Dominic, I guess, put his knee down and his stick down on the ice to block, like, a pass Yep.

Jamie:

Late in the game in the third period, and the puck deflected off of his downed stick. So he got a piece of the pass, which But is then I think the puck deflected to our other defenseman who then stuck it in our net.

Scott:

Deflected Like, off of the stick, then off of the player

Jamie:

and game. Off of Dom's stick, and then off of our defenseman's stick.

Scott:

No, that's just a fluke though.

Jamie:

Yeah, exactly right. But I thought that was kinda funny.

Scott:

All right.

Jamie:

But yeah, so listen, we'll see.

Scott:

I mean, that's great to hear that.

Jamie:

And he continued.

Scott:

Yeah, no doubt. Mean, I'm sure there's plenty of families out there that would not take that information well and be upset and frustrated. But look, the fact that he was, as you would say or your words, like, in a slump offensively in the last couple weeks or so, you know, perhaps this change is, like, you know, easier to accept. Yeah. But nonetheless, I think, you know, some of the stuff that you're talking about, like learning how to play a different position, I think will only help in the long run.

Jamie:

Yeah, I'm not going to lie. I reached out to Alec Marsh. We had on an episode what episode was that?

Scott:

I don't remember.

Jamie:

It's 30 what episode was that? Whatever it was. Alex started his season over there at Hobart. 33. If you guys haven't heard, go listen to From the Bench to the Blueprint with Alec Marsh, the assistant coach over at Hobart College.

Jamie:

So I reached out to him. I'm like, Alec, this is the story. I'm like, give me your thoughts. And after he went over stuff with me, I was like, yep, Got it. Yeah.

Jamie:

You know, I see what you're saying. So so he Marsh is gonna do some he's gonna actually break down Dom's shifts from that game on defense tomorrow.

Scott:

Oh, that's awesome. They'll go over it.

Jamie:

Yeah. They're gonna go Marsh does, like, a split screen with him.

Scott:

Oh, nice. That's gonna be awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Think.

Jamie:

Yeah. Yeah. No. It'll be it'll be good. So I'll email him the shifts, and they can go right together.

Jamie:

Awesome. To be continued. We'll see how it goes.

Scott:

Alright, dude. Yeah, man. So let's get into some some other questions. So Yeah.

Jamie:

These are from all of our social medias. They're from everywhere, like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. Yeah. Just Just across all of our all of our socials. Alright.

Scott:

Yeah. So here's a question. So how do you handle your own disappointment frustration when your kid doesn't perform to their potential? This is

Jamie:

the last one

Scott:

that we got. This is

Jamie:

the one that I saw the other day. You wanna go ahead? You wanna try this on precise before me?

Scott:

Yeah, so my own disappointment and frustration. Well, that has evolved over time.

Jamie:

Yes. This is not a

Scott:

Yeah. And and it at in the beginning, it was a lot more talking to him about it. At certain points, it was me being frustrated and signalling to him between my body language and my word choices that I'm unhappy with him, that he's not good enough or he should be doing better. And over time, I've adjusted that and I try to be much more listen, I I there's a lot to be positive about. Let's But just say when we're talking specifically about my own disappointment and frustration Yes.

Scott:

You know, if it's my own disappointment, I try to, like, think to myself, alright. Well, it is my disappointment, like, reasonable? Like, is it reasonable that this is what I'm upset about? Is this something that, like, he should know, you know, better? And, like, is this clearly something that he's just not showing up for the game today or whatever?

Scott:

So, like, an example of that would have been, like, let's say, you know, when kids play hot potato with the puck. You know, they get the puck on their stick, they immediately get rid of it. And there's, like, a blind pass to, like, no one or the other team

Jamie:

because they get nervous.

Scott:

And so there were times where, you know, Otto would get the puck on the half wall, and if, like, kids would start bearing down on him Yeah. You know, throw it. You know, he'd just get rid of the puck.

Jamie:

Just throw it.

Scott:

And at first, it's like, dude, listen. No blind passes. Like you hear that from coaches from the very beginning.

Jamie:

Yeah.

Scott:

Don't just throw it in the middle. And when that would happen after a certain point, like it was like, dude, we've talked about this like a bunch. A gazillion cut it out.

Jamie:

Yeah.

Scott:

And then look, it still happens from time to time. Happened less. That part is my frustration with it was originally really upset. Initially. But then what you also find is like, you know and I thought with those things I had justification to be upset because it's something that's been talked about for years.

Scott:

Right. Right. I also try to put myself in their shoes a little bit specifically with that because like that's a situation where you have some, you know, presumably you're gonna have someone that's like bearing down on you, like trying to take the puck. And that could be like a higher stress situation

Jamie:

for I a think so.

Scott:

Yeah. And so if you're concerned about like having the puck taken off of you or whatever, you know, I can understand trying to move the puck quickly. But at the same time, you know, I I so I think to myself, okay. Well, maybe he's just, like, scared or maybe he's nervous of making a mistake and he's just getting the podcast.

Jamie:

Which is probably the the answer.

Scott:

You know, part Part

Jamie:

of one of those two is probably correct.

Scott:

Yeah. So part of it is just like, you know, asking him those questions like, are you afraid? Like, you know, what's going on there? And like, I've gotten different answers over time. And ultimately, what I've what happens with things that I was frustrated with like couple years ago

Jamie:

Mhmm.

Scott:

Or even last year, last month, with time things change. Right? So part of it is like, you know, I you know, just giving it some time. Mhmm. And then with time, if it doesn't change, I Right.

Scott:

I my I adjust my approach to maybe be more direct with giving them feedback. And then if, you know, you know, kinda take it a week, a month, sometimes a season at a time. My own frustration, though, and, like, that's, like, disappointing with him. My own frustration, like I said, I would be more vocal in the past, but now I really just, like, bite bite my lip, and I take a deep breath and I really try to remind myself like, you don't need to say anything right now. You don't.

Scott:

And then with time, things definitely subside. The opportunity

Jamie:

They do.

Scott:

But my I issue

Jamie:

appreciate that.

Scott:

What I come what I think about though is, let's just say there was something that happened in the game and I was like really upset, like really frustrated

Jamie:

Mhmm.

Scott:

About. Right. If I don't say something in the moment, like there is a learning opportunity I think, especially if it's something that, you know, he's needs to do differently. Right. If I don't say anything in the moment Mhmm.

Scott:

I feel like sometimes you lose an opportunity to

Jamie:

kind You have said this before. To

Scott:

like no. No. You don't because you can always say something in the future.

Jamie:

And But you want it when it's fresh.

Scott:

And and maybe my thinking is flawed here. But like, I feel like addressing it while it's fresh, it's like he's got more of a like, you know, he's thinking it just happened. So all, like, the details are fresh in his mind. Mhmm. So what I've done is

Jamie:

Bro, he's thinking about playing

Scott:

Roblox. Fair. But

Jamie:

Or he's thinking about going outside on his mountain bike. That's what he's fucking thinking of. Yeah. Guess. These kids, when they get out the ring, they're thinking of something other than ice hockey.

Scott:

No. No doubt. But but then, like, when when the, you know, what I've been doing sometimes also is like, okay. Something happens this weekend. I won't bring it up until we go into next weekend.

Scott:

So let's just say going into our game next weekend.

Jamie:

You give it a week?

Scott:

Well or if they're going into practice and it's something that they might be able to practice. In practice, you know what I mean? But like, hey, listen dude, whatever it is, I'll say it as like giving him like encouragement to do something differently going

Jamie:

into the next game.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. But that also means that I've been able to keep it in and not kind of allow my frustration to take over.

Jamie:

So I think that's good. I think it's actually very good. Myself, I used to not deal with this stuff well at all, the frustration and the disappointment. I think, listen, I think we all as parents are coming from a place of we want our the best for our children. Mhmm.

Jamie:

Right? So the intentions are good in most of us. I would say the majority of us. Right? I I think they are.

Jamie:

What I think does happen is that we lose sight of really what's going on, and this is a very long game. Right? Like, we we have all these people on, and we're talking to them all about, their paths and how they developed as kids. Right? We're having these conversations with people.

Jamie:

And everybody's path is different. Some are longer. Some are shorter. Right? Some things happen at different times with everybody.

Jamie:

So for myself, recently, just recently, I am really, really I try not to change the tone of my voice. I try not to change how I'm being with him because they know. They know when you're disappointed. They know they played like shit.

Scott:

Yeah.

Jamie:

Right? And they know if you're disappointed. They just do. You throw off a vibe, especially dads. Yep.

Jamie:

Right? I'm sure moms do it too.

Scott:

So I Well, they definitely do.

Jamie:

Yeah. But I think we all are coming from a place of we want what's best for our children because I think the majority of us see talent, and we're like, wow, how awesome this would be. And I also think that a lot of us parents maybe didn't have the opportunities that our kids do now.

Scott:

Yeah, sure.

Jamie:

Right? Not that we're living vicariously. That's not, I don't think, the right way to say it but I think that we want things for our kids that we did not have the opportunities for.

Scott:

Yeah, when you yeah, go ahead, sorry.

Jamie:

Right, no, right. So I that's the place it comes from, And I think a lot of us lose sight of the fact that all these kids figure shit out at different times. Right? And it is a very long game. I would and we've talked about this before I would strongly recommend not comparing your child to anybody else on the ice.

Jamie:

Right? Because if you do, it's easy to be disappointed and frustrated.

Scott:

Yeah. No doubt.

Jamie:

So how do I handle it? I used to not handle it well. I am definitely handling it much better. He came off the ice on Saturday. And to be totally honest with you, I don't think he played well.

Jamie:

But I gave him a huge hug, and I kissed him on the head. I'm like, dude, good game. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And then we went home, and we played Mario Kart for the first time in years.

Jamie:

Awesome. Yeah. So I'm getting better at it. Listen, it's not easy. And I think we all lose sight of it from time to time.

Jamie:

Guess how do I handle it? I guess I've figured out over time how not to be with my kid. I just read an article recently about my wife showed it to me about a mother who had a swimmer. Okay. And the mother would be mean to the daughter and really would go after her.

Jamie:

You're not trying. Don't know if your effort level sucks. You're not doing the right thing. And she would really, really get on her. And the kid quit.

Jamie:

I'm sure

Scott:

there's plenty of

Jamie:

stories I'm like sure the kid quit. And the mother realized then, unfortunately, the kid quitting, it was kinda too late, but she realized that she had made a huge mistake with her older daughter and she was much different with her younger two.

Scott:

I've heard that. There was a kid on Otto's team last year the dad, either he told me directly or someone that's been around that family had said to me, the family was really hard on their older one and definitely trying to do things differently for the younger one. Correct.

Jamie:

So I'll tell you parents that are out there that are listening to this, try not to make that mistake if you're having a tough time dealing with the disappointment and the frustration of your kid's play. Because I don't see a lot of listen, I'm sure there's a kid or very few kids out there that will

Scott:

Respond well.

Jamie:

Will respond well to that type of speech and that type of criticism. I don't think many kids do.

Scott:

Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong about that. We have Sometimes it just needs to pass like the sniff test. Like Yes. You know, if you're saying stuff that is like hurtful, if you're saying stuff that like Yes.

Scott:

You know, treat people as you want them to treat you. Like if it doesn't it doesn't, If you didn't wanna hear that, if that would make you feel bad or uncomfortable about yourself, probably making that person feel that way.

Jamie:

Listen, the kid knows they didn't play well.

Scott:

Most of the time.

Jamie:

Right, so you piling on and you Listen, I guess it's okay to feel frustrated and disappointment, but don't show your kid that if you can help that.

Scott:

Right? I'll say there is a caveat to that, and I think it's not always inappropriate. You always just you don't wanna be lying to your kid Right. I think a parent's job is to guide their kid and when they're doing something, I don't know, maybe this is coming out wrong, but

Jamie:

like No, but I see

Scott:

what you're saying. As a parent, you need to give your kid guidance. And I and I think then it becomes about not like what it is you're saying or it's like how you say it.

Jamie:

It is how you say it.

Scott:

It's about how you say it. It's how you deliver it. It's how you deliver it. So if it's coming across in like a frustrated way versus in a more constructive way and you have to be the own judge, you know, your own judge on like how more constructive is and what angry is and what angry isn't. Right.

Scott:

But like, you know, figure that out for yourself and then try to choose the one that's the more constructive route than the angry disappointed route when you can.

Jamie:

Yes. Yeah. Right. Listen, at the end of the day, you don't want to ruin the relationship with your child. Right.

Jamie:

Right? And I think some of us have a tendency to be going down those roads. Yeah. And you don't want to do that. Like, you think at the end of the day, whatever sport your kid is playing obviously, we're talking about ice hockey here it's not as important as the relationship with you and your kid.

Jamie:

Right? It's funny. I just watched a movie. Have you ever seen Molly's Game?

Scott:

No.

Jamie:

No? So Molly's Game is a movie. It was a book that they turned into a movie. Do you know who Molly Bloom is?

Scott:

I don't think so.

Jamie:

No? Okay.

Scott:

Do you

Jamie:

know who Jeremy Bloom is?

Scott:

That's all No. I don't think so.

Jamie:

All right. So Molly Bloom is a her older brothers, Jeremy Bloom and I forgot the other one. Jeremy Bloom was the number one I'm pretty sure he was an Olympian. He was like the number one freestyle skier in the entire country. Played wide receiver at the University of Colorado at Boulder.

Jamie:

And he also was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Okay? Molly Bloom is the sister. And the other brother is like a cardiothoracic surgeon. These very high achieving people. Molly Bloom almost made the Olympic team.

Jamie:

She was, again, a very impressive freestyle ski, mogul skier. She had an accident, and she hit a twig on the ski slope and her boot came out of the binding and she had a really bad accident. So then she moved and she became she started working for a guy, and then she basically started running like a a poker game.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Like a high end poker game.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

Like big time athletes, celebrities, captains of industry, like CEOs of hedge funds. And one of the themes of the movie is her relationship with her father. Her dad pushed her like crazy.

Scott:

Okay?

Jamie:

Maybe was a little too stern, little too right? Maybe acted a little disappointed and frustrated with his daughter, right?

Scott:

A little or a lot?

Jamie:

I'm saying a little, I'm couching it obviously, right? But if you watch the movie, the relationship was strained. She was also not an easy kid, right? The father, I want to say, was like a therapist. So he knew what he was talking about, about how to read people, how to understand people.

Jamie:

Was he a shrink? I think it was a shrink. But movie shows the relationship between him and her when she was a young athlete.

Scott:

Yeah, okay. And

Jamie:

I think we want to push our children to do good things in life and to aim high and try to achieve great things. But there's a cost for that. Yes. Right? And I think you need to balance and I don't know the answer to this.

Jamie:

When we have the at the end of job mental performance coach on in a couple weeks, we should ask. Yeah. Okay? Because maybe he has some insight on this. But you don't want to ruin the relationship with your child.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Okay? And you want to be 60 or 65 or 70 and

Scott:

be like, wow, my relationship with my kids sucked. Right. And still sucks.

Jamie:

Right. You want them to resent So for those of you that are out there listening, if you can tamp down the disappointment and the frustration and realize that your kid's gonna quit if you keep berating them.

Scott:

Or at least increasing the likelihood of it happening. Correct.

Jamie:

Yes. The likelihood of them quitting is very high. Yeah. Sorry for the long winded answer.

Scott:

No, it's okay. Let's, oh shoot, I lost my place during your long winded answer.

Jamie:

Sorry.

Scott:

No, listen, it's easy to keep talking about that because I think it's very close. It's something that we all experience. Yeah. Alright. So next Next question.

Scott:

Next question. Okay. So we already talked about that. Okay. So here we go.

Scott:

What are some signs, you watch for that a player is quote unquote ready to move up a level level or change teams? Oh, wow. Okay.

Jamie:

So I've heard on a couple different instances that if they lead the league in scoring, if they're dominating the league, it's probably time to

Scott:

move. Right.

Jamie:

Right? I think that's a pretty obvious one.

Scott:

Like, they're consistently one of the top players on the ice, if there are stats at that age, and you know, you're looking

Jamie:

at There's stats at every age now, which is ridiculous.

Scott:

No, that's true. But, you know, I think that's it it really has to do with, like, their their if you in this situation, I would be comparing my kid to, like, the other kids on the ice and being like, is he regularly outplaying them? Is he doing things that other kids are mostly not doing? Right. You know?

Scott:

And it's it's gonna be different for everyone, but I would say, like, you you need the the kid needs to be one of the best players on the ice consistently, not only for their own team, but then also the teams they're playing against.

Jamie:

Agreed.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a clear indicator. As far as that's like moving up a level. As far as like switching teams, I don't know if the if that is also if that also means like moving up

Jamie:

to Oh, part the question was switching teams too?

Scott:

Or, yeah, players ready to move up a level or change teams. So maybe the moving up a level could be within the same org and just going to the same

Jamie:

AAA from AA or something like

Scott:

AA to AAA in the same organization. Or maybe it's about moving to a different organization. I think maybe this isn't about moving up a level, but just like changing teams. You know, I think for, you know, for and we've heard I don't know if, like, we talked about this on this podcast, but listening to others, like, want your kid to be on a team where they're gonna get a good amount of ice time. They're gonna get enough puck touches.

Scott:

Someone maybe even said, you wanna even try to put your kid on a team where he might be one of the top players. Yeah. So they're Just for the puck touches. Yeah. I think that there's a lot of parents that probably chase

Jamie:

A lot of people say that.

Scott:

Chase like triple a versus double a or chase double a over single a. Yeah. And just because you're on a team that is like a higher at a higher level, it doesn't mean that that's in your kid's best interest in terms of their own personal development.

Jamie:

Well, I think we talk all the time. I mean, all the time, we've talked a bunch about is it The age old question in my eyes is, do you want your kid to be the worst kid on the best team in the country or one of the best teams in the country? Or do you want your kid to be the best player on

Scott:

A lesser team? A lesser team. Well, I mean, I think that's

Jamie:

an easy Where is the growth gonna come from? More.

Scott:

Oh, right. So there's there's, like, a lot of variables. Think in that in that scenario, it's kind of, like, on the extreme end. I think it gets harder when, like, you're maybe, like, a middle of the pack player and you're not, you maybe, as a parent, you think like, oh, my kid could probably get some more ice time on a day. You know, it gets a little grayer

Jamie:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scott:

When you're more in the middle. But if you're on the extremes, it's an easier, I think an easier way to answer it.

Jamie:

Yeah. I mean, I think a clear, in my opinion, a clear You know if your kids You have a pretty good idea if your kid needs to move up low.

Scott:

And you probably also And I guess it depends, but you're probably also getting outside indicators. Probably. You know, there's probably a coach saying, what do you think of it? What do do in next season?

Jamie:

Yes.

Scott:

You know, so I would or the organization saying, I think you want your kid to try

Jamie:

Move up a level.

Scott:

To move up a level. So yeah, I think you'll get some signals.

Jamie:

Yeah. If kids dominate in the league, I think it's time to go.

Scott:

Yeah. And if not

Jamie:

You'll see what you can do with the level.

Scott:

If not, then you still also have to balance the things like, okay, moving up to a high, like from single to tier one to tier two. You're looking at increased travel. You're looking at increased costs. Increased everything. You're looking at increased commitment.

Scott:

So they all might be worth But, you know, as a family, you also have to, you know, like balance whether or not that's something

Jamie:

Yeah. That's right for your family.

Scott:

Right. And

Jamie:

Yeah. The unintended consequences that you don't see.

Scott:

If you're gonna make a sacrifice Yeah. And let's just say, is now the right time to make the sacrifice? Or are we gonna save that sacrifice maybe for another year, another two years when maybe the kid's older? Or is it a more important developmental year? So there's a lot to balance there.

Jamie:

Yes, agreed. Good question.

Scott:

Good question. No doubt. Okay. So here we go. Think you're good.

Scott:

What role do tournaments showcases play versus regular full season play? Should how should families well, this is how should families pick which ones to attend? I guess maybe that's for, the springtime. But, yeah, go ahead. Tournaments and showcases versus regular season play.

Scott:

What what role? Yeah.

Jamie:

How are Are we talking, like, in season tournaments and showcases, or are we talking, like, spring tournaments

Scott:

and showcases? I guess the person's not really So so that that wasn't clear. So let let's just let's just talk about perhaps, like, you know, tournaments versus let's just talk about in season. And and so my my the first thoughts that came to my mind when I read this question was like when when we would go to tournaments, and this is again we haven't gone to we've gone to showcases this year, and for us, the showcases have been like league games and like, you know, you get you get to see competition that you wouldn't otherwise see.

Jamie:

Which is cool. I will say that.

Scott:

Which is cool. But for us in like in years past, going to show going to tournaments was we were playing against much like heavier duty competition than we would than we would like Same. On most weekends. Yeah. So the role that the tournaments played for us was to go and really test your mettle against the other teams.

Scott:

The better teams. Yeah. Right? So just for, like, real context, like, we would let's just say we were ranked twentieth in the country. My hockey rankings are, you know, twentieth.

Scott:

Playing top 15 or top 10 teams. Yeah. You're playing teams like we play the number one team. You play the number two team. You play top 10 team from Canada.

Scott:

So then you're really getting a taste of like

Jamie:

Yeah, heavy duty hockey. Heavy duty hockey.

Scott:

Yeah. And that was the role that tournament served

Jamie:

previous For

Scott:

you guys,

Jamie:

same. We had a very similar situation.

Scott:

Yeah, now I think also, you know, there are, and this is on the other end, there are, you hear stories about teams that enter in below, they're punching below the belt.

Jamie:

Yeah.

Scott:

And they Same just go to win.

Jamie:

Yeah. I don't like that.

Scott:

Like, there'll be like a double A team entering in like a single a tournament, and then they'll go and crush the competition just so their kids can win a trophy. Like, I don't think that's that's good. I don't either. As as as fun as winning can be, that's just not the right Agreed.

Jamie:

Agreed. I agree.

Scott:

So I guess for some teams

Jamie:

know, like the tournaments and the showcases, to be honest with you, because I think the kids like that stuff. Like, at the end of the day, the kids don't fucking remember if they win

Scott:

or lose. Right.

Jamie:

Right? But they're gonna remember running around the hotel with their buddies, playing knee hockey in the hallways and trash can a conference room. Don't know. Throwing water bottles on top of the roof. Not like that happened when we were at Hershey.

Jamie:

That's the stuff that they're going to remember. So I like the tournaments and the showcases. And to be honest with you, it's cool for the parents to get away for a weekend too.

Scott:

Yeah, no doubt.

Jamie:

I'm not going lie. I like traveling in those. When we were with the Rockets, we were doing it very, very frequently. Do I like it that much? Do I think it's necessary?

Jamie:

Not anymore. But it was fun. But to go to two or three or four tournaments a year, think it's cool. I do. I like it.

Jamie:

It's a change. Kids like it. The parents like it. Parents can hang out and have drinks in the lobby when the kids go to bed.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

I like that.

Scott:

Yeah. Will say, for us this year, because we're not in a position to play oh, I shouldn't put it. We're not going into a AAA tournament. So for us this year, the you know, while it would be great to see team it's all with context too. So let me back up and say, like, our team this year in our, like, in our league, we're, like, maybe we're middle of the pack.

Scott:

Right. Below average potentially, like the lower half of the of the standings. So it's not like we've been the most competitive. Right. You know, we've so that said, you know, for us, for me, I'm thinking like, well, it would be nice if we're going to go to a tournament, let's go someplace.

Scott:

So you going to be fun. It'll be a good experience holistically. It's not just about hockey.

Jamie:

Hershey was a cool place to go but hockey, I'm

Scott:

not So going I think we're going down to DC

Jamie:

Oh, that's

Scott:

cool. That'll be cool because

Jamie:

You guys gonna catch a game, a Capitals game,

Scott:

if they're in town? Awesome. Dude, home run. With that said Are

Jamie:

you guys staying in the city? I don't know

Scott:

where we're staying. I know you.

Jamie:

Probably Stay downtown, dude. Know. Most managers don't do that.

Scott:

No. Well, because there's a state of play nonsense.

Jamie:

That is true. That's a whole

Scott:

another topic. If we were on a super competitive high end team, the destination is less important than who we're playing a lot of

Jamie:

the time. You know what

Scott:

I mean? So that's what I would say about that.

Jamie:

All right, no. I like the tournaments and showcases. Especially now, I like the fact that in our situation, they put teams on your schedule for the showcases that are above you or right around you. So you're not playing with bottom of the barrel teams.

Scott:

So it's more competitive.

Jamie:

So I like that.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Next. Next question.

Scott:

Here we go. There's a bunch of questions. I know we've just been running lots

Jamie:

of I know.

Scott:

Have lot of We're never getting to help. All right. Here's one. So how do you help your kids set goals in a way that feels healthy? Rather than just saying we want you to be the best on the team?

Scott:

So goal setting.

Jamie:

That's a very good question, actually. That's a very good question. I I I man, I would love to formulate a real answer for this over some time.

Scott:

So here, I'll give you my thoughts on this one.

Jamie:

Go ahead. Let me hear

Scott:

So as far as goals, I don't know that I'm necessarily looking at you know, like, on ice goals per game. Right? Like, I think you need to look at it, like, over a longer horizon.

Jamie:

Agreed.

Scott:

And the writer didn't specify, you know, what the time horizon here is. But as far as, like, setting goals, like, I think the intentional practice is, you know, instead of saying like, I need you to maximum effort

Jamie:

Score 50 points.

Scott:

Or whatever, like some kind of metric that, it's like, okay, the goal for you now, let's make sure you shoot 100 pucks a day. So that I

Jamie:

like, yeah.

Scott:

There's intentional practice. A goal would be to do like one extra skating session a week. Okay. A goal would be to, now like, and with that, with setting those kinds of goals, you're just increasing the amount of reps, you're increasing Agreed. Right.

Scott:

Just your discipline, all those things. As far as in game goals, let's just say, I don't know, a kid is not as aggressive in the corners. Yeah. Just need

Jamie:

you to that's what I think. Just need you to be aggressive and compete.

Scott:

You You

Jamie:

give effort.

Scott:

That's what

Jamie:

I was saying.

Scott:

So so as far as setting goals there, I don't know. Like, some of it you can't put like, okay. When you get older can't quantify something. Quantify something. Like, you could probably tell Dom, like, you could you could say that you need to have you should work towards having, like, five body checks a game.

Scott:

Like, that's quantifiable. Whether or not, like, he's gonna think that, like, about like, that that way in a game is a different story. But Yeah. You know, with all these options for video review, I think goal setting is, for me at least, it's not necessarily it's showing him where he is doing better on the things that either I've given him feedback on or his coaches have given feedback on. So we know, broadly speaking, that, Okay, we want to see a harder back check, right?

Jamie:

Yeah, I think you can do that. You can give the kids things to work on as the game comes up. That makes sense to me.

Scott:

Right. But then I think the way to kind of like so what are goals? You set some metric and you try to achieve whatever it is, right? But at least for me at this point, I don't have that with him.

Jamie:

Yeah. Don't have that either. That's why I'm having a hard time answering this because I don't have that. Last year, he had that.

Scott:

But what I'm saying is you want more effort. Okay. So the goal in that statement is more effort. Yes. Okay.

Scott:

So how do you measure that?

Jamie:

Like I said, you can't quantify You can necessarily quantify it. It's just with the eye

Scott:

test. Right. So what I'm saying is that like Yeah. You're it's it's unlikely you you're gonna say that and that's gonna turn to switch on for your kid. Right?

Scott:

You probably yeah. Okay. So but you wanna increase that behavior. Would love to. Instances of that behavior.

Scott:

Would love Right? So so a lot, so people Yeah. Much smarter than me, I've heard say that like if you want to see repeat in that behavior, you wanna praise the good behavior.

Jamie:

Of course.

Scott:

Okay. So spending time giving positive feedback about actual things they did in games that are working towards achieving the more effort goal, I think is the mechanism by which you're gonna get to those goals. So that's, I mean, again, I need more effort on your back check. So then I'll go back to Live Barn. I'll go back to Blockbrier TV.

Scott:

I'll say, hey, dude, let's take a look at this clip because your back check here was sick. Yes. And and the more you do that, reinforcing the positive behavior, you're gonna get to those goals. You know what I mean?

Jamie:

There you go.

Scott:

So I don't know if that really answers the question.

Jamie:

I think it does. Well done, homeboy. That was really good.

Scott:

Alright. My answer is for shit.

Jamie:

I was like, I don't know.

Scott:

Alright. Let's see. Here, with all the talk of quote unquote elite exposure, how much should a kid and family value fun, growth, and friendship We've talked about this. Versus purely making the next level?

Jamie:

We have talked about this. Yeah. You know, I think it's different for every family. I mean, some and I think I I also think it just depends where your kid is at the moment in time too. No?

Jamie:

Like, if you're an elite player and your kid doesn't give a shit about, like, hanging out with his buddies and he's just focused on being the best hockey player he can. It depends on what age you're at, right? I mean, I think when you get to the older levels and it depends how good your kid is. If your kid's a single B or a single A hockey player and he's 16, you probably have a different mindset than the parent whose kid is 13 and is on the best team in the country and crushes it every weekend, you probably have a different mindset, no?

Scott:

Yeah. No. And I think part of this question is what are we talking about elite exposure? First of all, what does that exactly mean? And I'm assuming the writer is talking about, like, getting in front of eyeballs that are like, you know, I you know, it could be scouts.

Scott:

It could be coaches of better teams with the hopes that their kid is going to, you know, get picked for or, a better team might be recruited, whatever the case might be.

Jamie:

Think the

Scott:

age part is very different. I think at the younger ages, it's less important. Agreed. That's what I meant. I think both can happen at the same time.

Scott:

I don't think you have to sacrifice fun. For exposure? Yeah, and for exposure. I think that, listen, if your kid's good, they're gonna find you. Like plenty of people besides us have said that before.

Scott:

Yeah. So you know, that part usually is gonna take care of itself. Let's just say True. Maybe your kid might be like a fringe player and you're just trying to like make a higher level team, you know, during I think, like I don't know. My what would my advice be?

Scott:

Like, if you're if you're playing against, you know, a team that you might have interest in making, like, you know, get you know, have your have your kid. You know? Your kid should try to do their best in that game to, like, you know

Jamie:

Yeah.

Scott:

To impress whoever, like, you know, is is watching at that game. But, you know, I I struggle with this one a little bit too only because, you know, I haven't gotten to a point where, like, you know, I've or an age where Yeah. Doing these kind of like

Jamie:

No, you're right. I don't think either one of us are there yet. Listen, I want to make sure that my kid has fun all the time. Yeah. Because I'm assuming and Doug Christensen kind of mentioned this.

Jamie:

This becomes a job down

Scott:

the road.

Jamie:

So I think you want to make sure your kid is enjoying what they're doing. So I think all the time, you need to mix fun into this stuff. It's not a job for our kids yet. It will be for some of them. But I think you always want to have fun.

Jamie:

And I think that kind of comes into territory. I think these kids like running around rinks and hanging out with their buddies and running around hotels. The tournaments and the showcase we just talked about a couple minutes ago kind of help that. Right. Right?

Jamie:

So I think you're right, Scott. I don't think you have to sacrifice. I think you can have elite exposure and still have your kids have fun.

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Right? And then there's the other side where the kid is just doing it because they enjoy the game. Maybe they're not the greatest at it. Right? Yeah.

Scott:

But also kind of answer that. I also think it's like the springtime where there are those showcases in summertime. Some of it's a money grab.

Jamie:

Most of it's a money grab.

Scott:

Buyer beware.

Jamie:

Oh,

Scott:

god. But I think just putting on Yeah, just Yeah, no, I mean go to some of those because some of those are probably worthwhile. Some of them are fun.

Jamie:

But like you said, buyer beware. Buyer beware

Scott:

Yeah. On that for Yeah. I'm just trying to think, let's just say my goal for Otto would be to play AAA next year. And I want to get him exposure to some of the more elite Teams in or the area. Teams in the area.

Scott:

Like, what what are some of the things what are some levers I could reasonably pull? I could

Jamie:

You could reach out to the coach.

Scott:

Highlight reels, send it off to coaches.

Jamie:

100%.

Scott:

If I'm playing a team that's like, you know, that I want my son to be on, then like, you know, make sure that he's

Jamie:

Make sure

Scott:

to go for that

Jamie:

game. Tell the coach, hey, listen, you know, we may we look to make a move next year.

Scott:

Right. Maybe find out, like, if that coach is coaching any teams or running any clinics Yeah. In the area. Go attend something that that coach is part of or affiliated with.

Jamie:

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. I think you can always advocate for your kid like that.

Scott:

And you can do all of that while still having fun.

Jamie:

Oh, 100% you

Scott:

can. Yeah. All right, what do think? We're at like an hour twenty. Wanna?

Scott:

What, do you want

Jamie:

more question to wrap it up?

Scott:

Yeah, sure. Just give me a second. No, you're good. Sure. Sure.

Scott:

Sure. Take a good one. All right. Here you go. You had to go I'll try back answer your Here we go.

Scott:

Here we go. If you could go back and give your go back and give one piece of advice to yourself

Jamie:

when Oh,

Scott:

your kid was starting out, what would it be?

Jamie:

Shut my fucking mouth. Don't say a goddamn thing to the kid. Just let the coaches do everything. Don't talk about effort. Don't talk about, like, know, compete level.

Jamie:

Just don't say shit.

Scott:

Okay. Okay. I I understand the sentiment there, but, let's be realistic.

Jamie:

No. Seriously. I wouldn't say shit.

Scott:

But that would be weird if you didn't talk to you. Yes it would.

Jamie:

No, it would. You don't think

Scott:

it would be weird if you spent all this time and effort and energy and didn't talk to your kid about all the things You that don't think that's weird?

Jamie:

I would, in my opinion, I would not, I wouldn't, yeah, no.

Scott:

Okay.

Jamie:

I almost wouldn't even go into practice ever. Interesting. Because I don't go into practice now, it took me a while to figure that out. Those are the things I would do. I would just let it be my kid's thing.

Jamie:

And if he loves it, just go to games, watch, and shut the fuck up. Okay. That's my opinion. Alright. That's what I would do different.

Scott:

Okay. Well, I I think I would I would try to do more of that. Okay. I would try to do more of that. Mhmm.

Scott:

Other thing that if I had to go back, give yourself when your kid would Okay, so the air out is something out for sure. I would say as far as in the beginnings that the journey is probably going to be rocky at times. I would tell myself To

Jamie:

put it mildly. To put

Scott:

it mildly, that I would caution my former Yourself? Myself about Your younger self? Yeah. About oh, I don't know. I don't wanna say yeah.

Scott:

Maybe about forming like like developing certain relationships. I mean, feel like I've definitely gotten burned a few times. And I feel like if I could do it over again, I would have not opened up myself as much potentially.

Jamie:

Right.

Scott:

And I know that sounds like kinda shitty, but like, you know, I've I've definitely seen and heard some crazy shit. And it's and, you know, from people that I thought I was close to.

Jamie:

Mhmm.

Scott:

But it turns out wasn't so close to them. And I would just tell myself

Jamie:

I have another response too to add to my one thing. I would have loved if there was a Crazy Hockey Dads podcast when my kids started playing ice hockey at five. And I would have not gotten wrapped up in the brick bullshit, the spring bullshit, the PBQ bullshit and I would have just stayed. I wish we had talked to Doug Christiansen

Scott:

like Five years ago?

Jamie:

Yeah. Seven years ago,

Scott:

something like that.

Jamie:

So this is going help everybody else coming forward, right? But I would have not gotten wrapped up in it. I would have kept him close to home. I would have just developed. I would have kept my mouth shut.

Jamie:

And I listen. Would I have had a different player today? Who knows?

Scott:

Right.

Jamie:

Right? And and his journey is still not done. So it's it's the rest is not even written yet. You know? But those are things that I would have done differently.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. Alright.

Jamie:

Fair. Yeah. Well, good good questions. Very good. We need to do one of these, like, every six months or something like that.

Scott:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No doubt.

Jamie:

Because we have a shitload of questions that we

Scott:

All right, dude. So let's wrap it up. It's getting a little long.

Jamie:

In the tooth?

Scott:

I did not say that. That's eary. No. I wasn't laughing.

Jamie:

No, man. That was good. We have some really cool stuff coming up for you guys. For those of you Oh. We're good.

Scott:

Sorry. No, just as far as really cool. So one thing, so spitting chicklets, they're most not most recent because I think something came out today. The episode from Friday

Jamie:

Right.

Scott:

With Rosehill. What was it? I forget. What's the guy's name? For those that

Jamie:

Doctor Rosen Rosen. What? Doctor Rosen Rosen. Doctor Rosen penis.

Scott:

What do you oh my god. What what who is that from?

Jamie:

I'll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich. Can't believe you don't know. From flat to Chevy Chase.

Scott:

Oh my god. Chevy Chase.

Jamie:

Doctor Rosen Rosen. Like a Rosen Penis.

Scott:

Oh my god.

Jamie:

So good.

Scott:

Yes. Rosen Penis two. Sorry. Sorry. They're epic epic story.

Scott:

Jay Rosehill. Epic stories. If you haven't I I just I was listening to it laughing out loud. And so this was like from last week, I think.

Jamie:

Am I supposed to know who that is? How how how he special?

Scott:

He played in the NHL. Anyway, I know we've done some time on this, but, like

Jamie:

Jay Rosehill.

Scott:

Like, his story's unreal. Unreal. Really? So it's worth listening. Anyway, so good stuff coming up.

Scott:

Good episode.

Jamie:

Yes. Please go review. Give us five stars. Go leave a review. If you're on Spotify, it's stars.

Jamie:

You can't write anything. If you're on Apple, please leave us a review. It really helps us out. Yeah.

Scott:

Alright, dude.

Jamie:

Yeah. Thank you so much to all the new listeners. Really appreciate it. And we

Scott:

have some sick stuff coming. You guys are gonna love the stuff here coming. Let's go. Here we go. Alright, my man.

Jamie:

See you later, buddy. Talk to soon. See you.