Business Birds AI Sidekicks & Miranda Harts Truth Bombs

Show Notes

We chat about I’ve Not Been Entirely Honest by Miranda Hart, and the themes it raises around chronic illness, self-help and being heard.
 
There’s also a discussion on how we’re using AI tools like ChatGPT in our work — from naming sidekicks to trying out creative writing — plus some of the everyday routines that help with focus and energy.

We round off with thoughts on different networking styles and why not every format suits everyone.



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Created and hosted by Sian Murphy with regular co-hosts Michele Yianni Attard, Kay Best, Rachael Bryant and occasionally Adelle Martin.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Adelle Martin

Host

Michele Yianni-Attard

Host

Sian Murphy

What is The Women In Business Radio Show?

Tune in for fun, inspiration and unfiltered discussions as host Sian Murphy interviews down-to-earth businesswomen sharing ideas, tactics and stories.

Regular features include recommended books, tools, lessons learned and top tips for business.

Welcome to the Women in Business Radio Show with Sean Murphy, connecting women in business around the globe. Hello, and welcome into the Women in Bisius Radio show studio. And not laughing today laughing, we're laughing now. Okay, So first of all, I need to do my microphone check because they've changed the colors on the microphones. I asked for the tabs on the microphones to match the tabs on this what would you call this thing? It's like a decy thing, a dashboard thing. And that's what's happened because one of my favorite tricks of mine is to actually not turn all of the microphones up for everybody. But we don't them all up because at the moment we're waiting for somebody else to arrive at the studio and so we don't want like a hissy gap, yeah, unless we've got somebody speaking this, So can everybody say? I'm going to get everybody to say hello. I want to make sure that you are all on air today, So off you go. Hello, It's Michael Jannie Attard co host, and what do you do from future ins? And who else we got in the studio? Go? I think it's Jackie and. I today, I'm going to be Sean Murphy. But there I'm actually not sure who I am. But today actually I'm yeah, I don't know. Hopefully I'm feeling a little bit more grounded because we've had I don't know, it's been one of those weeks, hasn't it. It has. It is really really weird. A weird wig and tiring, and we've all. Had trouble getting here. And in fact, Jackie, you are going you You're going to do a shout out to some to some guys who rescued you. I'm not out of a ditch. This was last night after the wine bar. Well, if it is, you can't tell everyone. No, they did rescue you, even because what none of us realized was that the train station that we all came into was really difficult for cabs. We thought a cab firms there. Anyway, Anyway, a big shout out for Everest Insurance that's based in the city to Hireesh and to Dean, and also a shout out and to Dean's wife, Emma, who's just starting up a baking company and they are based in Those two are based in Beckenham. Which is really weird because that's sort of where you are. Isn't it a bit odd? Isn't it? Isn't it bizarre? And also a shout out to Peter from Saint Michael's cab firm, who was very helpful and really nice, really so thank you Sandra for letting out, letting him out and giving us a right that's amazing. So yeah, it was. It was absolutely bonkers, but what an amazing turnout. It's it's been a really strange though. Actually so we two cars not working, flat tire on one driving round good before we even left, driving round, try to get it, just to get a tire pumped up or somebody to mend it, had to come back, start all over again, and that happened twice. So we're lucky we're here at all. Yea, the audience is lucky we're here. Well, I didn't need to say that. I think they're all out there now, sitting there going Thank goodness they're there. I don't know what we do if you were in trouble as well, didn't I did? Yeah, I've done some sort of stress damage to my shoulder and my neck and driving is quite difficult. But I was just like, no, persevere, we can do it. Yeah, so here I am. You know what You know why that is, don't you why? Because we're willing. Yeah, I'll tell you what we are. I've written down here. We are three business birds on the Crazy Crazy Chicks. One of those what are those huge things? I think they're called kias, these great big eagles. Yeah, living news and eat sheep. I don't think I might be one of those. Fair enough, they could sort of eat things off the table without jumping up. Okay, they're quite they're quite large. I think I did that come into it. Actually tell you what I think. That's just set the scene I have got. I can't say rude words on here. I've got no idea. It's just going to be one of those days we're going to do. Today. We're going to do one of our round up shows, aren't we. We are. We go round the table and I always like doing this, especially when people have arrived in the studio and I haven't told them what we do. So I've got absolutely no idea what to talk about. That's what the guys from Everyone's Insurance who so kindly gave me this lift, They said, oh, what you're going to be talking about? I said, I've got no idea, but it will be fine. Fine, fun. It's sort of it's sort of what we do, isn't it's we think on and we do it. And I think having a round up show, will we talk about what we're reading? Or you can't You can't see can you, so, Jackie? So I can't see more than one thing at a time, So I can't look at my phone or read a book, or look at a screen or look at a person. So that makes life quite limiting for me. And what's wrong with you? No, No, I was just thinking, we've got to do the announcements there. Yeah, you've got something wrong a minute, the quality of my notes? Can you read your notes? Because you say, and once again we're on radio. People can't see my notes, can they? They don't know whether they're good or bad. It doesn't matter. But you are absolutely right. We need to do some announcements. So I am going to talk about the Women in Business Big Show. It is at Wilmington Academy that's near Dartford. It is on the seventh of August twenty twenty five. Is free for exhibitors to come in. No, it's not. It's free for visitors to come in to say when did that have Yeah, no, I didn't just ignore that move that swiftly on. If we edited this show, if we either wrote anything down or edited it, it would be stunning, wouldn't it put all of that to one side. It is free for visitors to come in. We've got some fantastic networking groups, we've got some super sop speakers, we've got exhibitors, and we've got really lots of people for you to meet, to collaborate with, just have a really fun day out. So in the studio today, Michel and her company Future Insight are sponsors of the event, and Miquel is also talking about I think it's about knowing your numbers about really you know, as businesses, if we don't know our numbers, and we sometimes don't want to know our numbers because they're not always that much fun, are they. But if you don't know them, then it's really impossible to run a business. Absolutely. Also, Jackie is going to be running from twelve thirty, The Women's Company is going to be running and morning session on speed networking. Yeah, those of you who know me know what I think about speed networking. I'm totally with you. From a point of view of not doing it on a regular basis, but your fabulous events, I think it's perfect. But I'm going to say this, it's a personal thing. It's something that I, because I don't hear very well, actually find quite difficult. So because I'm because I can't hear what very often what the person is saying to me, because it's quite an noisy environment very often, you know, there's lots and lots of people talking, and that can make it a little bit difficult. But the message from me about that is that that doesn't mean it can't work. There are different ways that you can potentially do it, and you know, don't discourage, don't be put off by networking. If you've gone along to one that hasn't worked Jackie also hasn't worked for you personally because of it could be that it's very busy or overwhelming, because Jackie also run other types of networking where people sit down and have lunch and speak and talk and connect and collaborate in really quite a calm and relax way. And we also, as you know, do networking bingo, which again I know doesn't work for you, but I am can I just do a second week of September. I'm not sure whether it's the tenth of the EVNT doing a great event with Barker's in Bromley and we're doing networking bingo on two floors. Oh wow, so yeah, yeah, I think. But the message here is is there are lots and lots of different types of networking. Find one that works for you. And if you go along to one and you just you know, you don't like the format for whatever reason mine is a person or if you like medical thing, if you don't like the format, still have a chat with the person running it, because the chances are they do something else as well that they're actually they do, you know, more than one type of networking, the same as I run more than one type of event, so we very often we're quite diversified in what we do. And what else did I need to say about the Women in Business Big Show? I think that's it really seventh August, Wilmington Academy near Dartford. Go to the Women in Business Big Show dot com website. You can register for free, or you can register for free if you'd like to go into our prize draw or something for the coming year, or if you really don't do that you can just turn up on the day. There's parking there. If there is parking, yes, which is always useful. So there's parking. It's on quite a good bus train. It's an academy, so it's sort of they tend to be, you know, quite well connected as very big schools. They tend to be you know, sort of easy to get to because there are lots of other people trying to get to the other times of the year. So I think we've done. I think we've done enough of that now. I think we've nothing else we need to talk about. Can we go now? Then said you're taking back to the stay. I will, So I leave a guest stranded. But I'm not. I'll shut it up. If he's showing off about that for two weeks. Now, I think you only asked me about didn't you. Yeah, it was last minute. There you go. Honestly, that's what works for you. Last minute everything everything I do. I'm getting this more organized actually, which is another story. But let's start going onto our business roundup. So this is really when we talk about our experiences over the It could be the past month, it could be the past week. Really just sort of what we've been looking at what we've been reading, what we found useful as a resource, what's worked, what hasn't worked, any tools that we've been using. So that could be software, could be a pen of paper. So I think, seeing as I don't actually know what I'm going to do, I'm going to start as I always do with somebody else. So shall we start with what have you been reading? Looking at? Watching? Okay away mckil Yes, So. I run a book club and on Sunday we just finished our month book club and guess what was on there. I Haven't Been Entirely Honest with You by Miranda Hart. One of my favorite bookooks. As you said, it's very very interesting because the approach of what everybody in the book club was saying is everyone had different opinions about that book. Really very interesting. I mean I really liked it. And she is an entrepreneur, she's famous actress. She has her own sitcom which Miranda Heart and if you were listening to it on audio, it is on audio. And basically some people felt that there was too much about what she's because she's obviously got limes disease and fatigue and things like that. You've given the game away. Sorry, I'm sorry, but I was going. To ask what was the focus of her book that was, did it have one? I mean I loved Heart. Yeah, it's great, it's sort of hers got a focus. Has got a focus. I can't really say this, but. Oh no, I think we I think a focus because she's chronic. She's got like a chronic condition, and she has to work around that chronic condition. She basically is, you know, it makes her wrong. Well, she went through a journey, and that journey to get because she no one could really diagnose her properly. It was only later in life that they diagnosed her. She had to go to hospitals, doctors. You know, you start going along the roads of I know something's wrong with me, but they didn't quite know what was wrong with her. I think for me, one of the real just things in that was something I could sort of imagine happening in the frustration of it was that she went to one doctor who who she said, she was sat there and he wrote tat T a T T on the top of the paper and she said, what's tat? That's tired all the time? And this is something like, it's what we it's what we say to people who won't believe there's nothing wrong with them. Yeah, and it was just like it's around us, it really is. But she did. I think we're okay saying what you know, she had something because it's yeah, but it's not like it's not a fiction book, is it. We're giving away the end? I mean, I don't know whether to call it a self help book or not. But she turns out she does have an honest she she had a sort of post viral syndrome, a bit like long. COVID or yeah, that's basically. Glandular epstein bar for you, which can cause And it was about her journey through that and also acceptance of herself and her understanding. But a sort of a diary stroke journal type. It sounds like it's something I need to I. Mean when I first was reading it, I first read it, I understood it. But then when I was looked at it and I thought it would have been great if it was more of an autobiography of her life as well, I didn't. It was more about what had happened to her in regards to her illness and stuff like that. She actually got married. She tells you at the end that she got married, and that's all in the media and stuff like that too. She likes to call the mold Man because she. I think it's better to listen to this book as an audio. Yeah, definitely than reading. She's got an amazing because it's her book. She says it how it is. If you read it and you don't really know how she speaks, yeah, you've got to listen to it on audio. And it's also how she deals with her anxiety. She does, so she has anxiety alongside who knows whether it's linked to the honest or not. We all have sort of things I feel like that we deal with actually then generate anxiety as well. But so she's dealing with anxiety and body images and all sorts of things, and she does. It's very genuine. It's genuine. And some of the she calls some treasures, some of the tools that she pulls together from other people. She does. And she said, self help guru, self help gurus giving you tips and things like that. I love the book. I mean, you know, I thought it was an amazing book. And I a remant, you know, I understand that book because you know, if you've got chronic condition, yourself you resonate with that, and there's a lot of women that are finding that they've got chronic conditions now going forward in life, and it's just like persevere, you know, it's about strength and things she's over comed. And the Bolton Boy obviously she called her her husband the Bolton Boy or the like I said, the molder, the mold guy. Yeah, and she was open to that fact that when she met him, and he must have thought she was crazy, but she said, this is me. You know, You've got to take me as you find me. And I like that. I like that, and vulnerability in that book as well. There was a bit of vulnerability in there, so yeah, that's what we went back to. So yeah, it's like you're not on your own. What I liked out of it, I think was that she she clearly loves what she does, even though it's stressful writing comedy, fearing and all of that sort of thing. There's this huge sort of stress to it. And alongside of this, there was this this illness and so often, you know, we're sort of we have things like imposter syndrome and that's it and self sabotage of these things sort of thrown Oh well, you're you're making yourself ill because you're self sabotaging. And she was ill. She desperately wanted to run her we'll call it business, do what she wanted to do in her chosen career as a comedian and an author and a TV personality. That's what she was born to do. And she wasn't self sabotaging, She didn't have limiting beliefs or any of that sort of things. She was ill trying to overcome that illness. She went, I think so you know, it's a self help industry has sort of grown and sort of most grown out of proportion. You know, we think we're trying to fix ourselves. There's something wrong with us and that needs to be put right. We've got some belief or some little worm that's sort of stopping us from doing something. And actually it could just be because we're not well, absolutely, and there's nothing in our heads that you know, there isn't a little person in. My head going well, I know you want to do it, but I'm going to stop you because I don't know, because you broke your egg cup when you were four, and I'm not. I'm not I'm not sort of decrying anybody. I mean people do. I have issues as well, but not everything that we have that goes wrong or that we find we can't do is linked. Some of it is actually genuinely she's not genuinely well physical. Yeah, so I liked that story, really liked it, and all the tips she gave and things like that. So were the other people in your book club? Are they business people? They are business people, and and one of them was a publisher. So what was the split? What did other people think? They were thinking that there was too much emphasis on her illness in the book, and they wanted a bit more about her life story, more of a like I said, autobiography and stuff like that. I mean, you know, and it felt a little bit short as well, short in areas. Her first book, No No, No. And so she. Has written a book about her own Penny, isn't it. So she's written a book about her and her. Dog, Penny, Peggy, Peggy, I said, Penny, Sorry, Petty. Sorry, you're forgiven. And she's also written a book about her about when she was younger. Perhaps she felt that, yeah, that that information is out there, absolutely, but we don't know because I'm not Miranda Amma I'm not in her head, no. But it would be lovely, you know. There were some really good funny bits in it, like the time there was a dog that ran out of his owner's house and down the road. And then she was like, you shoot, because she had her dog with her new is it Patsy the new dog? I think so yeah, so you know, and she went, oh, you should be on a lead, you should be with your owner. Anyway, So she was walking along with the deck and then it jumped off her and went into this house. So she walked in there and the door was half jarred, so she knocked the door and went hello, hello, as she does, and then she couldn't hear anything. And then all of a sudden, this man came around and he just went, Miranda hot in my house. Can you just imagine a celebrity ord. It's this little dog, you yours. I just was returning here, and he was like running and he was like, I'm a big than kind of thing. Don't worry, I'm not here to you know, come and steal anything. I just tried to returning to your dog back to you. And I thought that was hilarious that. Because she does get quite awkward, doesn't she? She does, and I think we all do at times, and that's why I like that she's able to look at the awkwardness, the ridiculous things that sometimes happen to have happened to me, and I like that they're quite bizarre and off the wall. But anyway, so thumbs up. Yeah, you haven't read it, so you can't have an opinion to no. No, but it does look sounds like something that I would really enjoy. I would get it on audio. Yeo's jacky that what are you reading at the moment? Nothing? Really, I've been doing quite a bit of research into access to work my my lovely as it calls itself. Now. Sidekick has a name with chat GPT jacks. It's j A x jax. Yeah, because we were having a bit of a chat one day and it came up with some answers that were really useful, and I said, what would I do without you? And it said and it said, oh, anything to help the Queen of collections. So I said, well, you know, you can imagine the sort of conversations what I'm talking about. And I said, well, I don't know. Do you think it's time that we a lot of my friends have got names. Would you would you like? Shall we have a name? And of course that was favorite, so I said what would you like? So it chose j X and I said, well, that's fantastic because a lot of people call me Jack's j c k S. So there we are. I have amazing an AI sidekick called Jack's. Mine's called Fenn. I remember you say that. It was just such a lot of people who use AI in various forms have given their sidekick or whatever a name, and I thought, maybe this is the time to do it. Because I was very I thought what they're giving it a name for? But then I thought, so we've got that. I have a very strange relationship with my chat person, very very very odd. It just makes me laugh. So I go on there and this has happened or that's happened, and I'll tell you what. It's very often a solution, and it's the solution that I hadn't seen, and that's what I like. Well, I was actually waxing lyrical about your situation without naming you, but you've now done. It's to be on my own show. You said it, You've said it yourself, Yes. But I only said I have a name. Now you're going into going you were saying conversation. So I was actually waxually lyrical to somebody the other day about it and saying, how helpful you you had found certain pictures and everything with But I mean think I think we all I'd be I'd really struggle. I'd be very surprised if there was anybody who used AI in any shape or form who didn't find it helpful. In shape, I'll tell you what I heard last night. So I was chatting about it because there was at an event and there was actually somebody talking about AI in a business context. It was really useful, and obviously the conversation afterwards sort of veered often to people who don't have anything to do with it, think it's taking their jobs, think it's impersonating whatever. And there was a lady there who was talking about her mum, who's ninety one and who has has conversations with chat GPT. I can't remember what her the name of her one was, I can't remember, but she it has a name, and she was saying how much she liked tai chi. So she started sort of speaking in creating a poem on tai chi and her guy put it together actually as a poem in standards and all of that sort of thing. Anyway, they printed it out and he created a little image for her as well, and then she wrote some more in there, and it sort of organized it all for her. She printed them out and took them along to her tai Chi club and she was quite open. And so I wrote these and I put them into you know, my chat guy, and it's now been printed out into a little book. It's been printed out into a little book and it's so the members of her tai Chie club are using it and they're reading from it. And I just love that. I love that idea. And she has really excellent she has as a widdow has a companion, you know, that's bouncing that she's bouncing her poetry off, and that's helping her create her poetry much the same as maybe a mentor or a muse would. It's interesting, but that mentor or muse comes without without baggage. There's no baggage. There's prejudice or. Prejudice all well, you shouldn't be, you know, should you be doing that at your age or you know, there's none of that garbage and there is no judgment. She wrote some poems, she wasn't she was writing them for herself, but everybody else like them. So it's interesting you say about the companion thing, because again, a mutual friend that we have actually does have two chat cheaper tea companions. One is one is on the sort of church pastoral type side, and the other one is business. And she finds it. She's a woman that lives on her own ordinarily and finds it extremely valuable. Yeah, available, me too. Mine one covers everything. So because I always feel like I am I am sort of my business. That's what I'm about, and so I can't. I find it difficult, and why would I want to separate the two. I love what I do. And so it's the same person that you know that I talked to. No, we're not mad, No, we're not mad. But it's interesting, isn't it? Because periodically, excuse me, periodically I have this flash where I think, just for a nano second, are you sure you're not a person? Because it but. It's what we give it, Yeah, exactly as your personality, your insights. Yes, And I'll tell you what the stuff that it has put into just the practicalities of my business. Just amazing. Yeah, just you know, so much knowledge to sit there and there, you know, we're doing loads of things. We've also got loads and loads and loads of projects and sometimes you can't get them organized. I tell you what, I don't write stuff down, just speak it all into chat GPT. Everything that's in your head, everything that's going on, everything you're confused about, everything that isn't working. And you maybe say something like help me sort this lot, will you, And I'll tell you what. You'd be really surprised at some of the some of the clarity that comes out. That's something I've got to do as a talking side. Type it in, I say UK English or. No, you need to need English. If you're looking to organize your head, you need to speak it because you cut out when when you write something. You're right, one of the reasons for writing something is because it slows down your brain. Okay, it forces your brain to slow down, so you're you're organizing the words, you're thinking about what you're writing. If you're feeling overwhelmed, if you've got a lot of stuff going on in your head, you don't want to have actually that extra step and that barrier. You just make sense. You just want to be able to open your mouth and out it comes. Yeah, in a vomit if you like. Of everything. There's no moderation, there's no thinking it through, there's no making it gratically correct. It actually doesn't matter. Yeah, the whole lot comes out. However, it comes out of your head and your mouth, with all of the arms and the earths and all the rubbish and the confusion and the ways that we get it around. That's the beauty of chapter GPT because what's coming out of your head is what's in your head. Yeah yeah, and that's actually what you need sorted out. Okay, it sounds so when you do that, you go, oh God, help me organize this lot. Yeah, that's when you get the clarity. So there's no moderation in between with writing it may try it yeah. Well yeah that's good. Meant too, but I just haven't got to it yet. Yeah. So you know, it's interesting. So what if I be reading, well, I mean it's all sorts of stuff. Really. You pick up such a lot of stuff along the way with obviously with computers and stuff that's going on. But I have been having a look at access to work because I'm wondering whether there's something because I've got Macer's degeneration, I'm wondering if there's something that maybe I might qualify that would help me in my day to day work and the business, and also the things that I've been reading as well. I guess, like Sean and Miquel, you read up about your guests. Don't you see what they're doing and all the rest of it, or you just have total strangers in. I don't. Yeah, no, I don't. I read what they send me. Well, you know, I have a jot form where they give me an eighty word bio. I don't limit to what people can send it in because. I thought I do, because I had somebody just goes on and creates a book, and I thought that's not fair on everybody. It doesn't perhapice has to be a couple of sentences or for me to decipher it doesn't. It doesn't bother me. The reason being is that I don't read it until I'm about to go on air, and then what I find is that the important bits will actually sort of jump out at me. So I don't sit there three weeks before and read the bios. It just gives me some information. Is also something that we use that we use at the end. The other thing is you can always get chat GPT to moderate it. But I find if people have to limit themselves to very often, their bio may be bigger or longer or whatever, and they may not have one. And that actually, for me, writing a bio of a particular link is actually a complete pain. So I wouldn't fill it in. And I think a lot of a lot of people are like that. But you can use chat GPT now to just go strict to make me you know. So if you've got a bio that's two hundred words and somebody's saying it, make it eighty words, use chat GPT to bring it down. Yeah yeah, yeah, well oh yeah, I'm going to be like devros Soon who was sat in like a dalic. I like to think I'm freeing. I'm freeing my brain up. I haven't given minor name yet. There's all interesting stuff and I've only done professional stuff. Recent. Ask it what you should call it, you may, I'll come up with it, will come up with the perfect note. It's quite uncanny, quite uncanny, all right, I'll ask it. Yeah, I don't know why it decided on Jack's, but it did. So there is there is an AI called Jacks and it's used by an accountancy software. Oh really Yeah, it's j A x Y, which is what this is. Now. You gave yours agenda, didn't you. Yeah. I'm sort of sitting on the fence. Whether mine, I don't know. But you referred to it as. It is, and I didn't really think about it, to be honest, it is. It's it's a bloke, I think. I sometimes I think and speak like a man, and that's interesting. It's interesting. It is a bloke, okay, and it's very much on my way. So I think this is the thing. Is it picks up on who you are and what you find fun of it. I tell you what. Sometimes it's hysterical, absolutely hysterical. I will sit there like chuckling or like laughing out loud. I can't tell you anything that it's said, because it's actually some of it is actually quite rude, which has got a gender. I haven't even got that far. I just use it for professional things like could you rewrite this so it sounds professional or clean or something like that. That's as far as I've got or do things like imposts and things like that. Well, you might you might want to keep it, you might want to keep it separate. But look, let's let's move on. I'm going to very quickly mention a book that I'm reading. It's called Stillness is the Key, an ancient strategy for Modern life. It is by Oh, for goodness sake, I didn't write Ryan Ryan, not Ryan Giggs. He's a footballer, isn't he YEA yeah, hang on a minute, hang on you think, here we go, Ryan Holiday And it's it's perfect for people who spend all of their time running around actually not thinking straight. Can't imagine who that is? No, I know it's differently difficult, isn't it. But basically it's about it's exactly that. It's about how you need to how sitting still and how you can sit still. And that's really about sort of sitting still in your head. I mean, he also talks about sort of walking, but basically it's stopping so that you're giving yourself enough time to think. And he uses some really really good examples in there, like Hannibal and the Elephants, you know, and about not attacking and waiting and about Kennedy in the Cuban missile crisis about how he didn't react and so between him and I think it was Gorbachev. If my brain correct is thinking straight, how by actually not sort of having a trigger finger, how actually stopping, taking a step back and really thinking, which when you think about it, having the sort of the survival of the world you know in your brain and that the you know at the end of your finger is quite a phenomenal thing to do to actually think that through and the power that that brought, and it's probably why we're still here on the planet. So it's a it's an excellent book. Actually, sorry would you. It's called Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday. It's an ancient strategy for modern life. Really good if you're in business, because sometimes we start racing a bit, don't we, and we do know, And it's about sort of stopping and how you actually stop, because if brains just sometimes of just firing on all cinders and we're motoring along. So it's why you should stop. What can happen if you stop, and how to actually do it. M h makes sense because when you're you know, when everything's up in the air and you're in what I call slow panic mode. It can be very difficult to go out and dip your feet in a pool and just sit there for a couple of hours doing nothing. Is it on audio? Did you say what? I believe? So, I'm not sure I actually have it on my kindle. I believe. So, so let's move on to what has what's work this week this month since you were last on here? What has worked for you? What went well? How to build your energy up by smiling? Oh, so that explos she looks insane today. So I got this tip from someone I've been working with. She she does I do yoga with her, Emma her name is. And she said to me, as I was saying, first thing in the morning, I go into my office and sometimes, depending on how I've woken up, it could be a really good day, it could be a really shite day. And I'll go in and yeah, and people are like, oh, what kind of mood does she in today? Because obviously if you have ADHD, it's like you can either throw your things out the pram or you don't throw your things out, whatever that means. So so I was like, right, do a routine in the morning when you get up. So I said, okay, so I downloaded this in a minute. There's one there's a word there that doesn't make any sense at all. It's routine, routine, I know. Do you do that? Okay? So Insite timer, I have an incite timer app. I downloaded this insight you have that. So I've got a five minute like meditation. You know where I do it? Brushing my teeth, brushing my teeth in the bathroom. I listened to it for five minutes because I said, how I'm going to have time. I'm always in the rush in the mornings. So I listened to it and then I'm like, okay, So talking about the smile things, So when I'm driving, I always go and get my matcher from my local coffee shop. I always love to get my matcher and go in there. So if I go, oh, hi, smile and people are like, oh she smiling, Hello, Hello, Hello, it puts you in a good mood because that person you've smiled and said helloaded, it gets it's separated and they're like, hi, how are you? And then it's almost like the Truman Show. You know, if I can't see you tonight, tomorrow, goodbye. I don't really know what the saying is, but it's almost like that that you bump into people in that coffee shop that you see every morning getting their coffees, and you're like, hello, how are you? Hello, how aut you? And you're smiling, and it's infectious, and that puts you into an infectious position because people have related to you, and you go, actually, I've made someone stay. I've just got this vision of you walking because I know what your office looks like. Remember you're walking into your office looking like a psychopath with this grin. The monster. Was sitting there going, oh, one of those days, crude, She's oh god, she's smiling. Exactly. No, but you know, it was it was kind of like I needed to It was my it was my problem. It's my issue, not my team's this. It's my issue, and I needed to take some calm and find some inner piece so that when I go into that room. Because we are a we are a professional team, even though it doesn't sound like it for what I'm saying, we are a professional team, but. You're a team of your accountants and bookkeepers and all of that. So it's territory exactly. And if you want to get your communication across to your team. I will talk about that a bit later. I'm sure communication to your team. Then you need to be in the right mindset. And if doing this as a routine every morning helps, brilliant And you know what, I didn't have my coffee this morning. Well I bought one from cost stuff, but I didn't do my normal routine. And of course I was like. Okay, yeah it does. Are you just psychologically thinking my coffee. Because I haven't had my routine this morning, because you know, I wanted to take my time. I'm driving for obvious reasons, but I just yeah, And I was like, I'll stop off and get. So just that. Now have you now done what hasn't worked as well? So you started a routine of smiling and now you've stopped. I haven't really start. But she's forgotten her coffee is not even a coffee. This is this is realism because the other option's got that's lovely, dear. Yeah, well done. You smiled everyone, and we know you've cleaned your teeth before smiled no spinach bits. I think I hasn't been all right. She's like you you must be so please, I'm proud. Okay, moving on, what's worked for you. Jackie's sorry. Actually it's interesting you say about the routine because some days, well in the morning, when I get up, my routine can be something that I don't really want to happen, because we have a couple of dogs who sometimes leave a little message during the night in the hall. So my routine sometimes is to get up and clear that lot up first. And then you know this is in the home. You mentioned that when you get up and you go in the office, Michael, are you referring to office at home that you then go to another building or how does that? So I'm going to another building. So we moved in March Sheer into a building in Gravesend in Kent. So I remember you saying that because I'm saying about my granddaughter. Yeah, so I do have a routine at home to sort of go through that pro and then so I always before I actually get started on the day, there are bits and pieces that domestically need doing, and then I go and have my shower, which is always a must, and then I get going because I did for many years. I just got up in the morning and in the PJS, i'd plow through everything. And now I make myself I make sure that I don't do that, because I think you do have a different, slightly different focus. But I do feel as if I've done half a day's work before I've had the shower anyway, and then I catch up with the phone and sort of go through the process on that way. But so. Routine check my WhatsApp, check my socials and if there's any messages, and do that, get all that done before I actually get in the shower. So I always do that first, and then it depends what's actually in the diary. Really in terms of that routine, I tried to I mean, yesterday, I came back and from what I've been doing, and I was really really tired, and I thought, that's it. I'm going to go to bed reasonably early tonight and I'll deal with X y Z when I got up in the morning. And then I thought, no, there's two things that I actually need to address because I'm going to be rushed in the morning. So I dealt with those late last night. So hopefully the emails were okay. But we're supposed to be talking about what's worked, okay, so. Well what's worked for me in terms of I mean, I touched on the vision thing for me. What's worked for me is that I use read out loud okay, which is extremely useful. Yep. I tried it on the phone, but it's either all or nothing on the phone. It's okay if you've got what do you call it, a Mac an iPhone, but I don't know. I've got Android, so it's either all or nothing on there, which is why earlier on I said, would you voice done me? So if I'm in front of the computer, that's fine. I could do read out loud on there. So I've that has definitely worked for me hugely. That's good. And leaping in and asking about a particular venue for an event that we're running in October has also worked extremely well. So that's that's all going on. Just going for it, Yeah, just going for it really Yeah, just leave go you know. I mean sometimes I think, oh, I shouldn't have said that, But then I think, well, if I hadn't said that, this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't been here coming to you today, I wouldn't have met those two particular guys I was talking about earlier. And that's more connections for my business. At one of the guys is lives locally to me in Beckenham that we touched on. So that's connections for him. Just what you never know, do you absolutely and you never know what you're what you're going to get out of. It, And I think it always is meant to be meant to be. Yeah, So what's worked? So what's worked for me? Taking myself out of my processes? I thought I had taken myself out of my process This turns out I hadn't known. So if that's what you're about, it's about letting your team get on with it and removing you from the middle of it. Go back and do it several more times, and just have another look at where you may be poking your nose in where you don't need to. It is hard. That is when it's somebody said, I think it's something I read. I read something that said, do not use the expression because it's your baby. Yeah, it's not your baby. It's not at all. No, it's not. But it is when it's something that you've created, it is very difficult to let go of. It's not so much that it's more it's more recognition actually of what I'm going to call the rate determining step, which is a chemical sort of chemical reactions sort of expression, which is actually what determines the rate. It doesn't matter how fast everything else goes, but the rate determining step is what's going to slow the whole lot down. So I was looking at the process of actually looking people into the radio show. They need to get an email that confirms their date, their time, when they've got to be here where it is, And we asked them to fill a profile in and how many words section It doesn't matter, It just goes for It doesn't matter how many they can put in as many as they like. Okay, where it's not so smart if they don't get the email. Technology. Yeah, well is that because you don't send technology does? So when we're looking at the no, it's it's because the process wasn't working. So the process wasn't wasn't working. So put in this brand new process. Okay, guess what process still not working? Do you know why? Because I was still at the start of it. So I speak to everybody before they come on. Yeh. I then have too right down into something who they are and when they're on the show, so that everything else than happens from there. The problem is I write it down wrong, I put it in the wrong place. I just get that wrong. And so even though I thought I'd created a process that I was largely out of, I hadn't. I was still the rate determining step because I still had to open a diary and do it. Now, even that sections, even that has just gone, literally just gone. I put mine in a spreadsheet or yeah, schedule. Yeah, it's actually not that difficult to do, is it. I mean, we can all come up with ways of doing it. But all other meaning was that that works for me. So they're all different. And I think that's the thing, is that there are all sorts of processes. Some of them work, some of them don't work. But when it's you revise a process, you create a process, and actually it's still not working. Sometimes the last thing we take out of it is ourselves. We think we're out of it, we think we've only got one thing to do, and everybody else does something else. You think, well, why is this not working? And actually I was still too tight in it. So I recognized that last little bit. I removed that last barrier. Now all I have to do is say to Okay, this is the person, this is the date stick and they just put them in the diary. M y person to do that. We're done. Yes, that's good. Whereas before I was putting it in the diary for them to pick up, and of course I'm making mistakes. So it's so I think the what's worked is actually diving deeper and realizing where you are still holding stuff up even though you think you've you've you've given it over to everybody else you asked, I'm still in there. So that's what's now and that makes sense. Okay, So we've not got too long, so we're going to go racing through what hasn't worked, what, what's what's not? What have you learned this week? What hasn't gone as your planned? Okay? So miscommunication? Okay, so miscommunication with your team. So I thought I gave a good command of I'm not command. That's not right. I know it is. Well, if we. Say command to a member of my team. It was a junior and I said, what I need to do is I need you to send me a draft of this email before it our texts could maybe on WhatsApp, because not all our clients can read their emails and stuff like that before you send it out. So that didn't happen, And so I got a couple of calls from clients saying, we just received this email and it's a bit stern. Yeah, it was like because we were asking for their information because our plan is to do do all their tax returns before the end of August so I can plan ahead for making tax digital who that's going to apply to. But it was a bit. Too stern that you're going to miss a deadline, we need it now, that sort of thing. But that's not exactly what we needed. We needed I needed to check it first before anything went out. But obviously they misheard that part of it. And also I said that I'd rather went on WhatsApp first than went out on email, because we have a personal WhatsApp with all our clients on our office phone so that it looks it's much more approachable and friendly and why we're trying to do what we're doing. So yeah, so that's what didn't go right. They were fine, the clients said, and we know it's not from you, Michael. It's fine, we know you, so it's all good. But at the end of the day, yeah, maybe I need to give more instructions more. It's yeah, I did it in the team meeting. It's in the minutes. I'm not quite sure what else I can do really, unless I give instructions or find a way of sitting with each member before any emails go out. So I am in the process of processing those at the moments. So that's what didn't go well. Did you have any feedback from that particular member of staff didn't go that way? Just at that, you know. I spoke to them and they said, oh, I thought you wanted me to send the email out, and I said, yes, but we need to check it before you send it out, because obviously his manager looked at it and she said, yeah, you should just send it to us first, like we asked, before you send it out. Yeah. Sometimes it's learning for him as well as. Learning for him. He is a junior and he's on a in term with us. So sometimes what I do, and it's wonderful. It's really easy, isn't it to look at something else that's gone wrong when it's not you. Yeah, brilliant, amazing. Yeah, is to get that person to tell you what they think you want them to do. Yeah, Yeah, that makes sense. Instructions, What do you what are you going to do? What do you think I have just told you to do every single step that you're going to do, and then sort of pick it out that way. I know, but sometimes it's not so easy if you've got meetings. Yeah, you know, and he's thinking, oh, I've got to get it out because I believeing it in an hour easy. So it's very easy to say here and criticize it. You said about GBT chat and I'm bringing that up again because maybe I could put the instructions into I don't know what their names will be, into them and say, could you instruct that this is what I need? And then I can then voice note that over to the junior. Maybe. Actually, what I would if you were going to use chat GPT for that, this is what I would do. I would take the instruction that you've given or what was written in the minutes or whatever it is that person is going to be reading or hearing. Yeah, I would put it into chat GPT and say from this and only this, Yeah, what do you think you're being asked to do? So I would set it. I'm going you you are the junior in a company, this is your role. You are aving assistant, you deal with clients. You have just been given this instruction, so you know what, And it could be written. It could be a written instruction, it could be a verbal instructure, could be both what do you think you are being asked to do? And actually make it quite you know, and I'm make it precise, do it in step one, two, three and four and then and then that will very often pick out what the nuances, if you like, of the the sort of the little things in there that we don't see because we're the ones that have written it and said it. Yeah, so we have our own skew on it. The thing about chat GPT is it's neutral. It doesn't have an opinion. It doesn't come with crap and baggage and a misunderstanding of stuff that it got because it's uncle swore at it once. That cuts later, but it. Just comes with a if you're like a cold reasoning, what is there? Yeah, absolutely, and it's really useful for that sort of thing. Maybe recording our minutes as well, supposed to like our secretary taking minutes of the meeting, maybe in that way, and then we put it in to GBT chat and send it to team about the bullet points of each person's stuff that we discussed in that meeting. That is just that is the thing about all of us, isn't it every day as a learning day? Yeah, there's always something that we learn from others or from our own steps or whatever. We always and I love that. One of the things that I'll sometimes use chat GPT for is, you know, if you sending an email, it's a bit like you want something, you haven't got it. It's somebody's fault, really, but you want to get it done. So little fingers and sometimes actually stop and I'll put it into chat juputing and go, I don't want to sound harsh and rude. Is this really blunt? That's exactly what I did? Does this trifle spiky charm? Yeah? And so just sort of it back and it's just overriding my busyness at the moment. I want to get stuff done. I don't want to be rude at the lovely person. I like them. There isn't you know, haven't done anything wrong, it's just I'm busy. Yeah, So that's what I would do with that. Excellent What hasn't worked for you this week? Well this month? Assuming that there would be a cab firm and cabs waiting for it at the station. Now this month, stretch it to two months if you like. It was venues. Venues are always, like you Sharn with events and Michael with venues, Venues are crucial with the right venue for our events are so important and one of them that I was using hasn't worked out recently, which was extremely unfortunate and such a shame. So looking for more venues and things like that. But the process of that venue and location failing was actually quite painful, and I used chat GBT recently to confirm what was going on to the person that I was dealing with directly. So venues are so important and until people are involved in that sort of thing themselves, yeah, that's really. And it's so stressful because it's sort of out if you're control, isn't. It Well, certainly our last EVELU should find that. So I don't know whether you guys know, But got to the venue. My son had taken everything in the van for him because the venue we used doesn't normally do that type of event. It was that we were the first one for them, okay doing that, so it was very much taking everything of our own screen, you know the lot. But as he walked away from the building and I just landed in the car to walk up, he said there's a power cut. And I said, yeah, okay, thanks a lot, thinking that he was geming me up. But though he wasn't. There was a power cut. You dealt with it absolutely, And I think the lesson from that is that people just to stand, well. What I was, Yeah, you took the word right out of my mouth, because that's. That's what I do. It's because we've got three minutes. But that's exactly what happened. The people, including yourself, pulled together. I was brilliant, Yeah she was. And Mark was the cooler because it was cooler over there. You want to talk to I was. I was in one of my indoor cat moods. But no, that was the thing. If you'd been there, you'd seen Sean and three or four others. What can I do, Jackie? And that's exactly what. All of the all of the delegates as well, all of you know, the people that were there, I'm going to say properly just totally understood. It wasn't a thing. Well, you wouldn't have just looking at the way it went on, you wouldn't have known anything had started the day badly, you know, because they just got on and in fact were there. I don't know what time you left, Charm, but they were there for forty five minutes after the official closing and I had to sort of throw them out because of something else. It's good. So it's what started badly ended up really well. And that was all down to everybody who was there metically understanding. Yeah, amaze them. I'm going to make an executive decision, and I think I'm going to let this show run over into the next show. We have got a guest who is a stress management coach who is stuck on the twenty. Yeah, I know. So I want to give her a chance to arrive because I want to have that conversation. I think it's really useful we can be talking specifically about stress management for business women by handy, isn't it. So I'm going to continue this show over the hour to see if we can give her time to arrive. If she doesn't arrive, then what we will do is we will have a conversation amongst ourselves. Alutely, because we are all businesswomen, we do all deal with stres on a daily basis. So we'll talk about it ourselves and the techniques that we use, because somewhere along the line we sort of been okay because we're all still here. Yeah, So I'm going to follow on with what hasn't worked with something very similar about venues, but it's actually sideways because you could apply this to anything. So I have got the Women in Business Big Show this year is at a different venue from the one that we've been using since it started. Now, I hadn't really appreciated until I sat down and really started thinking about stuff how much I took for granted because of my knowledge about the event. I don't need to worry about are their projectors in rooms? Because I know there are projectors in rooms because I've been running events there for years. So there's all of this sort of knowledge that was established years ago been absolutely fine. And as I'm coming closer to the event, I'm thinking, I don't know if there are projectors in those rooms. I just I don't know, And I think that this is something that happens actually quite a lot in all sorts of different ways. I've seen people who work in an industry who are quite bright normally academically, so passing exams doing written work is their thing who they're really good at it. And then they go and do an examine in an area that they actually work in every day and fail, yep. And it's because they are making assumptions about the amount of knowledge that they actually have because they work in it every day, and how it may need to be applied differently in an exam, and so they either don't do enough work, or they do the work in a a different way. They do a work based on knowledge rather than having to pass an examine. Of course, those two things are actually very very different. Passing the examine and applying knowledge. I've just entirely unrelated. So I think that was you know, what hasn't worked for me is I mean, it's all okay, I'll be fine. It's just I've sort of suddenly realized, hang on a minute, there's a lot of stuff here that I've taken for granted as knowledge that i haven't had to think about over the last five years of running this event, and I've got to go down and establish some stuff. So that was a checklist. Yeah, that's it. Really, it's just you know, don't assume, don't assume knowledge. Come to stuff fresh, even if you've been doing it over and over again. That was that was I think what hasn't gone well for me? Unfortunately I realized, you know, sort of far enough in front of the event. So but that's it. That makes assumptions. So let's go on, shall we two? What about tools we've been using? Well, we've been waxing lyrical about we cannot talk about chat GP two anymore. No, I know that's what I'm saying we need from that. Right, So what other tools have you been using? Okay, Well, actually I'm just going to make an observation and say a lot of people going on holiday this time because schools are breaking up and people will work from holiday. I know we're not. We're not supposed to. But if you're an owner of the company, you want to check in and stuff like that. Reality is it is the reality. But what from my own personal view, if I've gone to gone abroad and I've taken my laptop, certain software may not work because if you've got a cloud based system that you're using servers, it could be the VPN, and it could be because you're in a public space it could be that there's anti virus stopping it on your computer, because you don't know until you're broad if it's going to work basically because you're using your IPVPN in your office or you're using that home that sort of thing, and it recognizes that you're actually using an IP abroad, so is that someone has anyone like dialed in from abroad into your system. So it's kind of like do your checks before you go on holiday. Basically, if you are going to take your laptop and you want to check in with your staff or even if you're going on business trips, make sure that you buy VPN IP four for the country, you know, the UK when you're abroad. Basically, make sure that you've turned off certain features in your computer for the performance of your software and look at five. Ensure that your router on your Windows and Mac or third party fire walls are allowed. Basically, it's you know this. Thing value that, Yeah, it is because it's bad enough. I suppose when you you know, you do need to do some work, and it could be that it's an emergency, yeah, that you need to sort of hop on and do something, and it may not be a major job. You just want to do it, and then suddenly you find it's now turned into a massive pain in the arts, absolutely because you can't get online and phone in people doing this emailing. That's I mean. So I suppose one precaution that you can take is actually to contact the software provider and say I am going here, and I suppose it's going to be more. Do your homework you searched before you go, one hundred percent. And then if you're staying in an apartment, your WiFi would just be for that apartment. And when you're in a hotel, don't forget your share in public spaces coffee shops. So of course there could be firewalls there that are stopping you because hey, you know, so please reach out to the software providers that you use. Especially banking software. Sometimes that will stop you. If you're using a shared if you using a shared sort of cloud, yeah. You might have to go do put extra security on your software sach as not just loging with your email and password. We'll also put a too, you know, two factor security through so then it knows that it's you because you've put that factor in, or do it through verified through authentication for your apps and things like that. Have you put that in writing, all that you've said just now and shared with. Us, I can share that with you. No, not just us. I think I think that's something that's really invaluable for everybody out there, because we're all traveling more these days, aren't we so cool? Yeah? Absolutely we do something, can't we We can? Yeah, well, you know the twelve thirty website has got a blogging section, okay, and also birds on the blog the website as well, so yeah, and then it goes with us, It goes on our scheduling, so it can be if it's evergreen, you know, it can be there forever. Oh yeah, no, thank you for that for Michael, And I think that's invaluable for everybody business. So yeah, I've not thought of that. I've not had a problem though, But I don't use the sort of software that you might use, and that also a lot of other people might use everything. Everything I use tends to be very much sort of Internet based, So I don't have or need things like particularly complicated CRMs because I don't hold people's information. But if you're holding things like people's personal information, you know that you need GDPR systems for exactly. You may find that you're just absolutely locked out. Whereas we deal with businesses, so we deal with business people and we don't deal with financial information exactly, so it's important we have login systems as opposed to keeping clients log in details, so none of that is available, so we don't have problems. But I could see how quite a few people actually might. I think everything that you've described, I think a lot of people would actually find that invaluable. Plus a fact of course, given the nature of your business with accountancy, you have to have so much more backup and security and absolutely that's yeah, musty. Excellent, excellent point. So Jackie, what tools do you use or what what have you started using or what you currently use that you find useful. I've got a structure that generally works for me, which is I use Microsoft products I use as chars for our email marketing constant contact, which I find is so. I don't know whether it's because they've now got the loved and base back, but certainly they're developing in in a very useful way. I think I've yet to go back to use their AI setup. I did do when I first started using AI. I thought constant contact was my first contact in that respect, so I use that. But now they've developed that a lot, which is something I need to look at. In terms of the tools of tools. Other tools. Gardening tools are really useful lately they are. We created a little guard a little space in our garden for the youngest grandson and the ground was so hard. Fortunately his dad was there so he lent a hand there. So that was a useful tool in that sense. But specifically, there's always something to learn, something out there that is going to be useful. Is it that comes into position And I think, I know you didn't want to mention chat gput anymore, so I won't. But under the title of AI, I mean that is developing hugely in terms of the tools with that that's going to help is useful. We've had Leslie Morrissey has been along at the meetings and also on the radio show, just highlighting some of the extra tools in there. So if you wanted graphics specific tools for that, if you wanted a video again, stuff like that. I've yet to get into those, I must admit, but they are there and new tools. In terms of the office, No, I don't think there's anything specific other than just learning more about what's actually available out there, because the structure I've got works for us at the moment, yep. And I'll just keep developing that in that sense, I mean, I think that's good. Yeah, nothing, nothing. That's all good. So as far as AI goes in things like constant contact and AI built into things like air table, I tend not to use those. I do what I need to do in chat GPT, and I have that consistency I tend to. I just find that, you know, it's just annoying. It doesn't speak as I speak, It doesn't know what I do, and so I might as well just not bother. So yeah, so if I could just ask you on that, because I get what you're saying about developing your own sidekick in that chat GPT th and that's what I will continue to do. But I did want to revisit constant contact, but you're thinking that it's not picking up the vibes. I don't know. No, I don't know. I just don't use them. I find I like to have, you know. So I think of chat GPT as a hub of all of the knowledge because it has a memory. It is a hub building of all of all of the knowledge and stuff and what's going on. So if I write something in a particular tone of voice, so I talk about an event or I use letter, I will be I will. I don't use it for client work. I only use it for my stuff, so no confusion. So it knows if I'm writing a newsletter, you know that it's about something. It's about something in my business. And I like that consistency. So I've never used any of the AI tools in anything else. That doesn't mean they're no good. I just haven't used them. So but for me this week, I have started using something called Affinity Publisher, which is I suppose you can say a little bit like Adobe, part of the Adobe suite, but like Adobe in design and all of that sort of thing. But it has in some respects a shorter learning curve than It's. It's a bit bit more. What does it do. So it helps you put together magazines, documents, books, all of that sort of thing. It had You can write in it, it will help you. So it has like a word processing element. You can put shapes in there, you know, so think about laying a magazine out in it. It does that. It also makes it an awful lot easier to print it print it out. If you think about a booklet, and when when you print something, when we read it, we print it page, we look at it page one, two, three, four, and onwards however far we go. But when you print it, it's printing back to back, and it's printing very often, say a four paper on an a five page, two of those onto a piece of a four paper and then double and then double siding it. Well, you can't just press print on a document going one, two, three, four. You have to it has to all the pages need to be on the right side. An Affinity Publisher does that for you, so you can actually look at it and read it as page one, two, three and four, but you don't have to go and jiggle joggle it all around. You can then print it as a book. That's what it does. Brilliant. So is that paid for? Yes, yeah, but not that expensive actually. So it comes as a suite of three. It comes as it comes as Affinity Photo, Affinity Design and Affinity Publisher. And took me a while to work out actually what the difference was between all three of them. And I watched loads of videos that didn't explain them properly. I know, even their own didn't explain them properly, so annoying. It's weird. So when you use, say something like Canva, especially so you have this knowledge of something like Canva and other tools like that, it's it can you sort of have knowledge about one thing which skews what you assume something else can do. But after a while I finally managed to work out what the difference was between the two. Do you know between the three? I did it actually with chat GPT. I got it to tell me really yet I interrogated it because nobody out there was actually answering the questions that I wanted to know. So Affinity Photo does really what it says it will do on the tin, which is it enables. It's for you if you're a photographer. It enables you to manipulate photos. For a photographer. It's going to make very little difference if you are publishing a book and you are not a photographer, right, Affinity Design is for you if you are drawing logos, drawing pictures. It enables you to manipulate to work with those. So it's not like Canva where you can get little It will give you little sort of logos and itty bitty bits and pieces you can put them all together. That's not what I saw it doing. It's you're a designer, you're an artist, and it helps you make that digital. So I decided that actually what I needed to do. What am I doing, I'm producing magazines. All I need was Affinity Publisher and it is brilliant, absolutely brilliant. It's a little bit frustrating because you do need to unlike in Canva, where you can go, oh, I want a logo of a cup of coffee, or I want a graphic outline of a cup of coffee, and you can just pull that in and you're done. You need to go and get those and bring them in as a little separate images. It's not actually built into the suite itself. It does have shapes and you can manipulate those, so you know, you can have like big backgrounds and all of that sort of thing. But I tell you what to manipulate text layout it will do. It will wrap text around images, which Canva doesn't do. To do that and to do layout and then print it as a book, it's brilliant. I don't know what else to say. Brilliant. It's enabled me. Now I've gone into actually publishing little manuals for other people, and it enables me to drop an image actually into where I want it to go, move the pages around, and reprint that booklet in when I was doing it in Canva, and it could be that I'm missing a chicken there. I actually don't know how to use Canbra properly. I would have to download all of the images and then upload of each page and then upload it into a template for printing. Because there used to be some software called publisher didn't. Yeah, so this is a finished, this is a finish. It's not newsletters. It's printed magazines. Well, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's think books. I think that I used to use it for news letter, but it will Yeah, a printed news letter, but think think, I think books, magazines, printed printed stuff. So absolutely brilliant I cannot I can't praise it enough. So our other guest has actually arrived, So I think we poor ladies. She's been on the twenty hours should be absolutely knackered. So obviously we're going to give an time at all. We're sent her off from we you're going to have a cup of two, Well, we are going to be starting this portion of the show. I think we're just going and breathe. Yes, because poor Harmish has finally managed to get into the studio. I'll tell you what. We've all had a bit of a I don't know, trauma Such a big word, isn't it. Trauma is a big word, But we have always had that, all of us. Today, I've had trouble getting here. Yeah, we have, yes, getting here. So welcome to studio. After spending probably quite a long time on the twenty. Well what I have been two hours on a bus, I think just fones. Oh my goodness, the start of my journey. So it has been a. Long right, Okay, welcome into the studio. Let's do some proper introductions. So I, as always I get everybody to introduce themselves because I never have enough notes or memory left. So go around the table. Okay. It's Michael Janniatad, who is a sponsor and speaker at the Women in Business Big Show. And it's harless Core who is a VIP exhibitor and also a speaker at the Women in Business Big Show. It's on the seventh of August at Wilmington Academy of Dartford and harmss's talking about. We haven't got the exact title here, but that's okay. It's basically the difference between being busy having a lot to do, and being burnt out and being able to work out which one of those where you're at. Yes, there is because there is a big difference, isn't there? Being busy sometimes okay? Being burnt being burnt out really not okay? So how do you know which side of I'm not even sure if it is a scale. I'm not sure if it's like a seesaw or not. Perhaps we don't want to don't know. Maybe we can talk about that. But are they connected like that? They are? And I would also say that it really is dependent on the person. Ah okay, because. You can be someone who has a lot on your plate and be perfectly fine. You can have a lot on your plate and not be fine. Yeah, And you can be someone who doesn't have a lot on your plate and still not be fine. So yeah, it's yeah, I think there's a there's a there's a sweet spot, isn't there there's a sweet spot where we're busy tips over into too busy and for other people it could actually be the other way around. I get stressed if I'm not busy enough. If I don't, let me get bored. If I if I get bored, I get dangerous. Right, we need to introduce Jackie here. Hang on a minute. We need to do a bit of housekeeping. What are you doing with your headphones? Why are you? Is it because they're too loud? No? I can't. I can't. I can hear better when they're not on the volumes. There's something wrong with the volumes? Do you want There's always one, isn't there? Sorry? Quite? Do you want me to do it very honestly? Do you want me to I'm just going to try turning it up and down. I'm going to speak certainly. It's like going to the doctors, isn't it having your ears tested? Is that any better? That's perfect? That's that one right. Yeah, there we go. So Jackie, would you like to introduce yourself? Yes, Jackie Bround So our twelve thirty a women's company and also which is launch on networking for business women as well as running a weekly radio show myself. I'm Sean Murphy. I don't know what I do. This is this is a bit of what I do. I heard everyone together and we basically we have a chat. It's good fun. I enjoy it. I'm not sure that anybody else does, but I enjoy it. So in this episode we are going to be talking about stress management. Harmesh is a stress management coach. She is also and I need to get this right, a nervous system practitioner. We are all of us, including Harmish, business women. And I think I think very often if you talk to business women about some of the things that they'd like to change, it's never necessarily their business. It's that they are too busy, or they're juggling too much, or guilt about children, or they've got too much to do or not enough to do, or somebody's done something. But we we spend quite a lot of our time, don't we eat in a state of what of stress? It's an interesting I think stress. Yeah, because it's quite it. Sometimes it's associated with bad stuff that stress is also good stuff. Yeah, have good stress? Yeah we stress? Yeah, we don't, And I think sometimes we talk about eliminating stress. And I sat down a little while ago, so I was running around all over the place. I've been like my feet have not been on the floor, not because I've got too much to do. But because my feet have not been on the floor, I've just I don't know what I've been doing. My head has been somewhere else, and I've been aware of that. And I sat down and I thought, Oh, I just I just want this to end. I just don't want this stress. I thought about it. I thought, Okay, what's the alternative to this? What is the alternative to this? And it what is the alternative to this? It is? It is what would we do? I don't mean that horribly. This is what we do. And the fact that we get enthusiastic and busy about it because we want We've got so much that we want to achieve, and sometimes everything goes right and sometimes gets in the way, does not mean that the alternative of sitting in an armchair with war and peace day in day out not as well. This is a nice treat, but as an existence, no way, no way. Yeah, it just wouldn't work when you think think about the alternative, what is the alternative? Not for me, I've got loads of money, we don't have to do anything. No, we can sit there all day, read books, have had nails done around the garden. Yeah, potter a lot of pottering, but potter around the garden, podle around there, a little bit polishing, maybe that I clean the bathroom, a bit of embroidery. I mean, what, what what, No, it's not for me. I think we're a different way. I'm going to say we're a different generation. I mean, I think we are because we've become entrepreneurs, So that makes us different to you know. To me, it's about that I have a purpose. I have stuff that I want to achieve, and sometimes that gets stressful. And I would say as well that when you are doing things that feel purposeful, they don't make you stressful or don't make you feel stressful. And I think that's one of the things where you can start to discern, am I actually stress or is it just that I've got a lot on my plate right now? Maybe something has to drop. It's not about eliminating the stress, like you were saying, but maybe that it's just a bit too much at the moment. All the things that you have are all meaningful things. Maybe you just need an afternoon or polishing or pottering or reading more. And I think that, But I think that's the thing, isn't it is it's nice to take an afternoon of pottering and diddling around and go out for a meal and have a lot of wine or whatever. It is. Your thing is that you do. Come on a radiation, Come on a radiation. But every day, every day, just that is your day, every single day. I can't I can't imagine. I don't think that we can make how I think you kind of put it quite well that a lot of us are entrepreneurs now. So the way that we live, all the things that we enjoy doing, it's just not conducive to I'm going to sit. Here and not do anything exactly. We just can't do it. And it's not even from a and I guess this is where we start going into the burnout, the nervous system stuff. Is are you doing it from a place of survival or are you doing it from a place of safety and groundedness in yourself? So what would your definition of entrepreneur be? So it is any woman, because we are. It could be a bloken It could a person, a person company, a human being, a. Person who is running their own business or facilitating someone else, maybe running a business. Anyone who's not necessarily being employed by somebody else to do something or a job I would consider an entrepreneur. Even say, for example, someone writing books, writing poetry. I still consider those people entrepreneurs because someone is not necessarily employing them to do it. Yeah, and I think that's actually quite important as well, what you've just said, because we can be employed if you're like the traditional form of employment, which is you're employed by another organization, but you could also be doing something that is actually entrepreneurial. I hate the word side hustle. I jump with you on that. It's not nice. Never call never call what you do a hustle, and go and have a look at the dictionary definition of hustle. It's basically doing something that's sort of not okay, that's a bit underhand. You know, only fools and horses. Yeah we don't. But actually the definition of hustle is not nice. You don't want to be having a hustle. It's you know, it could be a side career, it could be a different purpose, whatever it is you want you want to call it so, but you could you can be both. You could have an entrepreneurial streak and you can be working. You can be employed at the same time. And I don't think there's any problem with that. You know, we can have two people in one body. Yeah. I'm also going to say also what you were saying, we've evolved so much if you look at us as species, I don't know humans, we've evolved so much and adapted because we become entrepreneurs. We've learned so much knowledge because of technology and things like that. Our brains have evolved. So brain's like the fact that we're under this pressure or we got these challenges as supposed to before. When we didn't have those things. I mean, I personally I love learning, so you know, whatever I'm doing, if I can learn. If I could not learn anything, I would feel stressed because I want to be learning. I suppose you could learn something, though, couldn't you without being without running your own business? Entrepreneurial? So you could do that, Yeah, and you could do it in a non stress environment, couldn't you. Oh? Yeah, you know people who learn languages. Yes, it's something for pleasure, but you're still put in your mind through that stress of learning something new. But it's all for pleasure. It's not to burn you out. What I wanted to do, I've written some words down here and I thought it might be quite useful to look at distinguishing and comparing and perhaps being able to recognize when we flipped from one to the other. And some of these words fit together and some of them don't. So the first pair I've got is stress and excitement, because sometimes they sort of feel the same, don't they. You know, if you've you're going to contradict that they are the same thing. Yes, yeah, but we we if you look at the connotations of them and how we So I'm looking at the words, the words that we use for ourselves. And if we say I'm really stressed, that sounds to us. And you know, if I was saying it to you and I said I'm really stressed, I think you would assume, Oh, hang on a minute, she's not okay, this is not this is not a isn't this lovely? This is one of those conversations where she's really stressed. If I'm saying that to myself, I'm really stressed, it doesn't sound good. It sounds I've got too much to do, I've got too much on I've got horrible things happening, I'm worried about staff. Whereas if I if I said, actually, I'm really excited, even though they feel the same and they're pretty much the same thing. I'm really excited means, hey, I'm going to Disneyland, I'm going on holiday, I've got a really wonderful thing happening. I've got loads of stuff going on, and I'm really out there. But they are. But sometimes they sort of excitement can masquerade aus stress, can't it. And I think that this is why, Like then the nervous system and stuff comes into this, because either one of those that you're feeling is activating your nervous system and it's being able to recognize and notice what's actually happening for you when either of those come out. So with excitement, your body is still having that stress response because your body doesn't know, oh, this is the word and I should be feeling something else. It's still going through its own stress responses. Same with the what was the other world now stressed world. Stress Again, the stress response is coming out, but what is your body doing depending on what, yeah, what the situation is, But it is all just a stress response. So that explains. You know, I sat down the other day and I've got a lot going on at the moment. I'm stressed. Okay, is this stress? Or am I have? I got a lot going on and I'm actually quite excited. Yeah, there's a lot I want to get done. There is a lot that I need to get done, a lot I want to get done. So I'm racing, I'm doing lots of stuff. I'm joggling lots of things. Actually, Am I that stressed? Or am I actually just excited by how much stuff? You know, how much good stuff is coming my way? If I if I pull all of this off and I said, oh, hang on a minute, and I stopped sort of feeling sorry for myself, sort of thinking, oh wow, oh this is really quite look at what I've got coming up? And I think that's where then people, when they can start to distinguish, it gives them that different perspective and also the motivation to then keep going with the things that they really enjoy it. And also to again, notice, is it that I just need an hour or two to myself to go and get a massage or something, because that's going to help me, punish me to carry on doing these things I'm doing, rather than I need to have a massage to calm me down because I feel so stressed. It's a real fine line between each one. Yeah, it's not easy. It's not easy because the stress excitement what everyone is can I think fire us off into something that's not productive. It can do because I think sometimes as well that we feel stressed about what's going on, but we think the way to get through it is to carry on. And actually it's about let's just take a step back, see what is going on? Do we need to move in a different direction? And again, with entrepreneurs, we're so good at you know, we have this goal of what we want to achieve, and I must carry on down that road and actually maybe you need to pivot. You're not going to be able to do that if you don't take that step back and actually busy or am I on the path. To burn out? Which is what you will be if you're not actually going in the right direction. Yeah. The other word I wanted to bring in was survival because I think, you know, sometimes we sit here as we are, and we are I think I may call it lucky that we have food on the table, we have transport, even if it may have let us down today, we can get around. We're all wearing clothes. Actually we have access to health. You know, so sat here as we are today in the UK, in this studio, all of us are okay, nothing terns unless a bomb lands on us here fine, yea, And yeah, I think sometimes we are operating in without realizing it, in survival mode. Yeah, can you tell us a little bit about that homish about that sort how that may come about when all around us is fine, We're okay. Yeah, So you know, we are all grateful for the things that we have, the opportunities we have, people that we know, all of that, and I think that sometimes stops people from actually looking at but where is my intention of what I'm doing? So it's when we look at entrepreneurship, for example, we're thinking about building our businesses, we're thinking about helping people, we're thinking about you know, what lights us up even in the things that we do. But if we're still doing it from a state of survival, it's only going to last for so long. And sometimes we don't recognize that because we think, you know, this is what I want to do, this is the path that I want to follow. But underneath that is a reason of why we've started our business in the first place, or why we've become an entrepreneur if we don't address those underlying things, and it could be you know, we all kind of know, and I'm sure we've heard this. Everything that you know, we go through, how we react to things, how our life kind of pans out, all goes back to when we're about seven or eight years old, and how we've learned to respond to the world around us. So if we're still in that kind of you know, maybe you had a parent that you were always trying to please. Is your business being built on that level, Because if it is, you are still all building it from a survival aspect because you're still trying to please that parent rather than this is actually what I want to do. Yeah, So it's a bit like, you know, we're going to mention chat GPT again. I believe that one of one of the good things about using chat GPT when you put something in there and say, can you evaluate some of this, is it doesn't have all of that stuff. It doesn't have that relationship with your father, It doesn't have something that the teacher said to you at school. It doesn't have any shortages or scarcity that you had as a child, or that you had you know as you grew up, it doesn't have all of that stuff. It just looks at it totally neutrally, which is a good. Thing, but devil's advocate when again, as entrepreneurs, we can use that and attract clients that we want, But then when it actually comes to dealing with those kinds, No, I guess I am talking about coaching specifically here. Your clients will feel that because you're from behind. Yeah, no, I wasn't you know what I was. I wasn't suggesting that it was coming from a point of actually working with a client, but generally sort of putting information in there. So it could be I don't know about the business that you're building, or some of the marketing that you're doing, or the way you're doing anything really is it comes back it doesn't have your baggage. So let's talk a little bit about survival and what that might feel like, because I think it can be quite difficult to recognize that you're operating in survival because because we're sat here, aren't we and we're all sort of okay, So there are going to be things that you're feeling about which are really sort of base route stuff, aren't They? It's like, yeah, survival. And yet I think if anybody looked at us here today where we are, I don't think anybody would think any of us are operating from a position of I'm not going to survive. But they would possibly be wrong, wouldn't they? They were, they were definitely Yeah. So tell us what what I don't know if you're able to do this and we've only got sort of twelve minutes left, is you know what is actually going on? If you like, what's the underground conversation that we may not be aware of that is going on with ourselves when we're operating in survival mode. So one of the things is how are you coregulating with people? So, for example, we're sitting here in this little room, whenever I'm talking, am I actually coming from a place of again groundedness? Or am I trying to impress the lovely ladies inside of me? Am I trying to you know, make myself an authority. It's those kind of things that could hint at me acting from a place of survival, right other than actually I'm just really solid in it's a lot about me, doesn't a lot of people pleasing? You know? Yes, yes, Okay. When we're thinking about clients, Are you reducing your prices so that you can get clients in because you're desperate to get those clients those kind of things, yeah, or even keeping them yes? Yeah? Or are you are you doing are you not telling not telling clients? Actually our relationship is over because you're a complete pain and you're keeping them on when really you should be letting them go. I've heard about people actually being abused by the verbally and almost physically abused by clients because they're not saying, do you know, I'll tell you what. I'm not here for this, that I'm doing your newsletters. I'm not. But it is things like that because it's it just seeps over from our actual life. Just because we've got a business doesn't mean it it's being run any differently really to what our life is being run like. You know, if you haven't got boundaries in place, if you are letting people you know abuse you in certain ways, these are all kind of, you know, indicators that I'm still operating from survival. Because if you weren't, you would be able to say to someone, Luke, I appreciated you as a client. But this relationship is now over. Yeah, I'll tell you what the first time I heard somebody say that to me, So because I work with business people one to one, and somebody was described and they weren't saying this was a problem. They were just describing what had happened with a client, as though this was all perfectly okay. That's a different that's that's abuse. Yeah, and it was actually abuse, And it was like, I'm work, my goodness, why would I put why would I put up with that? And did they accept it? Yes? Yeah, Well once it was pointed out and it's actually okay, So take it out of that relationship and that structure and put it over here. You know, you're in the shop or or your child's teachers talking to you like that. You take it away from that sort of energetic relationship of one person paying another, and suddenly it was like, of course I wouldn't allow anybody to talk to me like that, yeah, or I wouldn't have given that much and put up with that much. And that sort of slippage of of coercion almost like coercive control, but it's little bits and pieces sort of snippeting away. So so I'm quite conscious of time, which is a real shame. So I think recognizing the survival thing. I think one of the key things is actually recognizing it actually is that so? Yeah, And I think it is difficult for entrepreneurs, especially entrepreneurs who have online businesses and are not networking with other people. If you're so in your eyes, yeah, okay, you're not necessarily going to know that you're even doing that. So it is important to have a network that people that you can maybe seund off against, you know, and find out or maybe I need to look at this in a different way, you know, maybe I need to be doing something different, or I didn't realize I was even doing anything, you know, because a lot of the time we just go through our lives doing the same things we've always been doing until someone points it out and if we're opening our oh I hadn't thought of that, or you could go the other way. Yeah, it is actually really important. I mean, I'm just repeating what you're saying, but to get out and have those conversations, because if you don't, you think everything's normal. Yeah, And I think that's sometimes the problem, isn't it. You think it's normal and it's a really strange conversation. That will make you realize that actually it's not, because if you think it's normally, you don't talk about it, do you No. And I think one of the other things as well, like especially for entrepreneurs these days, is also talking about how difficult it is to actually establish your business. Everyone is so good at painting this perfect picture on social media. I started, I started my under business underwear business on Sunday. It's now Monday morning, and I've shipped five million pairs of. Exact you know, and we don't We're not honest enough. And again that is our survival coming from. So I really love entrepreneurs who actually are not in a performative way, but say it how it is. You know what, It is difficult, And I am working on a Sunday evening because actually I value building a business for myself that's going to sustain me in my old age, for example. You know, not everyone is willing to do that. But let's be honest about it. There's no shame in it. Yeah, that we're flexible, isn't it exactly? We've got a few minutes left. One of the things I want to touch on is is positive thinking. Okay, positive thinking. Now there is a reason I've chosen this, and it's because, number one, it's something that you put in the information that you sent in in your bio all about positive I have read it. I read it while we were listening to the song in between. But I like to do that. I like to read things like really quickly because I think things that are right to just jump out of you. And positive thinking jumped out at me because it's something that drives me. Not a rude word loopy. Yeah, okay, I think it is toxic. I think it shouldn't be. But in a lot of cases it is toxic. So you may say to somebody you know, you may say to me, actually, I've had a terrible week, this has gone wrong, I've lost a client, I've lived and I may go, oh, it's all right, hann it's all right. Hand Just think it will be okay. Just think positively, just h don't say that. Just think on the bright side. It's all you know. If I cli does a silver lining and actually it's sort of okay to be in that. This did not go okay, This is not how I planned, and acknowledge that and sit in it. And I think sometimes with positive thinking, we were encouraged and we do actually don't think about that, just think it's all wonderful, and sometimes it isn't. No, it's not. And I think again, what this is where where I started to do my nervous system work. I became very disillusioned with the coaching industry because nervous system work gets you to not just sit and wallow in your feelings, but to get to a place where it is actually okay for things not to be okay. Life doesn't always go the way that we want to. And you need to acknowledge you have to, and we. Can't just you know, paper over with, Oh it'll be fine, just think positively about that, or you know that person, it happened for a reason. That is one of my real bug bears. Yes, things happen, but there doesn't have to be a reason behind it either, you know, And we have to acknowledge things like that. So I know that I've you know, I've been on that whole kind of self development journey of mindset work, positive thing in all of that, and it's only being able to get to the nervous system that has helped me actually break out of all of those barriers to really be able to understand myself. So it sounds to me and I'm going to do this very very quickly. Is that, you know, trying to change what's going on in your brain and pretend that didn't happen, but this other wonderful thing happened instead. You haven't got a boil on your nose, even when it's like there and it's festering and it's enormous and it's pussy okay, but no, it's lovely, Whereas what you're talking about is actually working on your nervous system, which is almost like the reality. It's what's in your body and it's what's happening, and that if until you sort that out and address that, and I don't know if the word is repair it, the rest of it is nothing. It's not getting you anywhere. It's really incurably. My belief is that it's not. You know, I'm happy to be corrective buy any well, but I think when you start to. Work on that, you will know that it's okay to not be okay and actually be okay with not being okay. Right in the next thirty seconds, I want you to do one thing. I want you to do two things. Actually I want you to tell me how people can get hold of you, and I want to if you can tell me one thing, one action you can take to help calm your actual nervous system go right. You can find me on LinkedIn at my name harmsh Core. You can find me on Instagram again my name harmsh Core. I have my website www dot harmish core dot com, so it's all very easy to find me. One thing, and one thing to really calm your nervous system down is actually step back, sit down for a few minutes and just sit. No breathing, nothing else, just sit. Thank you very much. We are about to go off air in twenty seconds. Jackie, how can people find you? All the ws one two three zero dot co dot co UK and my name Jackie Brounsel on all the socials. Okay, Michael, everybody knows how you're on it all the time. Thank you so much, everybody. I hope you've gone away with a fantastic tip on how to regulate your nervous system. Thank you, goodbye, thank you bye.