Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Biographical interviews revealing amazing life stories.
Sometimes the tiniest little house you might see with the lights on, and my kids would say, gee, what do you think they're doing in there? I said, you know what? There's probably more love and joy in that house than some old big mansion you might see.
Grace:Welcome to AudioLife, the podcast where we tell your story in your voice. Today, you're gonna listen to an amazing conversation with our guest host, Grace Chen. I hope you enjoy.
Grace:Today, it is my absolute pleasure to speak with Patricia Miller on this day, April 30, 2024. And we're going to talk about you, Patricia, your life, your memories, and and some of the wisdom that you've gained along the way throughout your life. I am your host today for all of us, Grace Chen, and really excited to have this conversation with Patricia. So let's get started with the first question. Patricia, can you please start by telling us where you were born, and is there a story behind your name?
Patricia:Yeah. As a matter of fact, I was born, Mount Carmel Mercy Catholic Hospital in Detroit, Michigan, and, yes, there is a story behind my name. There's an actress from the forties fifties. I guess she's still around sixties seventies, Patricia Neal. She was in, HUD with Paul Newman.
Patricia:She was in The Fountain with Gary Cooper. She was in a lot of famous movies. But she was from Tennessee, and my dad was from Tennessee. My parents just must have thought she was the greatest, because that's who I'm named after. And it's funny because my sister's middle name is Louise, and we always wondered, where did that Louise come from?
Patricia:Well, we found out that Patricia Neal's middle name was Louise. So I'm Patricia Ann and my sister Tracy Louise. So they must have really, thought a lot about her. So whenever she's in a movie, you know, I'll say to somebody, oh, that's who I'm named after.
Grace:That's a great story. That's a great story. And, and you'll always remember this actress because of that. So thanks for sharing that. The next thing I wanna ask you is, what are three words you would use to describe yourself?
Patricia:That's hard. Extrovert, Christian, and family. I am one of those persons who is happiest when I'm around a lot of people. I'm a strong Christian, and I come from a huge family. And, I guess between mom and dad's side, I had about 17 or 18 aunts and uncles, and I had about 30 something first cousins growing up.
Patricia:And we would have a lot to get togethers, and I adore every single one of them. Many have passed by this time. You know? But we'd have my mother's family. Most played the guitar and and sang.
Patricia:My mother's one of 9. Her father father was a sharecropper in Arkansas, and her and her two sisters used to go to Christian youth rallies and sing. And then the other 3 sisters sang, and the brothers sang. And so when we'd have family get togethers, they'd get out those guitars. And first, they'd start with the old gospel songs, and they'd end up with these old country songs where, you know, everything in your life has gone wrong.
Patricia:You know, your dog died, no met nobody met you at the airport, or it's raining outside and you got no place to go. You know, those old old, gospels and old southern and old country western songs where your girlfriend left you the day of your wedding and all that stuff, and so we'd end up laughing so hard by the end of it. So, but there was a bunch of them, and I I always thank the Lord for putting me in a big family.
Grace:That sounds like an amazing childhood you must have had. So let's talk about your childhood a little bit. You obviously were surrounded by so many people, tons of family members and all ages. So what was it like growing up?
Patricia:Well, I was very lucky. Didn't have a lot of money, and we lived on a little dead end street up there in Michigan, just a little cul de sac, and right behind it was a railroad track. And train went by, you know, at certain times of the day and of the night. This is still when at night, if you were in bed and you looked out, you could see the passengers' silhouette in the train. And so to me, the train has always been a soothing sound.
Patricia:And living on a dead end street, lots of kids. I had 2 cousins that lived right across the street from me, and they were more like a brother and a sister. And, you know, that that was back in the days when your mom said, okay. Get outside and make your own fun. There's no computers, and there was no iPhones.
Patricia:And, we'd walk to the park, and we'd walk to the Penny Candy Store, and we'd you could go to the movies, for 25¢ and see 2 whole movies, cartoons, 3 stooges. So your parents on Saturdays are pretty much ready you all day for 25¢ or maybe a little bit more. Popcorn was 10¢. But, we and we had a park we walked up to, and we just slept outside in little tents we'd make out of blankets and stuff and sleep in the backyard. I feel so bad for kids nowadays.
Patricia:They're never gonna know all that kind of joy that we had and just making up your own games and doing your own things. And, they said you're supposed to come home when the street light comes on. Well, we didn't even have a street light. But one of the girls that lived next door, Patty, her dad would whistle when they were due to come home. Real loud, he could whistle.
Patricia:And, no matter where we were, we'd hear him whistle, and we'd all know, uh-oh, time to go home. Get in, watch the little TV, take that bath, go to bed. I wouldn't change it for the world. I wouldn't change it If I'd had my way when I got married, we would have bought a house on that street. I would have raised my children on that street, and their life would have been in that little city like it was mine.
Patricia:Mhmm. Didn't work out that way. But, and then during the summers, we go down home. Like I say, my mother's people were sharecroppers in Arkansas, and she was one of 9. And they didn't have much, and I don't know what we did all day.
Patricia:It was hot. The mosquitoes were so bad. Got our water from the pump. Of course, there was no air condition. There was nothing like that.
Patricia:You know? And so you just went outside, and luckily, some of my aunts and uncles were not too much older than me, and so I had them there. Or if some of my other cousins would be down visiting, I'd have them to visit with. And, oh, I wouldn't trade that for anything. When when I say to some people, you know, oh, we use the outhouse and everything, they go, oh, you know, or we took our bath in a big galvanized tub, one of those big basin tubs.
Patricia:We didn't have warm water, so fill it up, sit it outside in the sun, and hope that the water would warm up, and then put it in the smokehouse. And if you were lucky, you were the first one in. And the older I got, the more important I felt it was to be the first one in. And I'd always say, you know, when I was little, I didn't quit. But when I was older, I'd always, I'm ready.
Patricia:I'm ready. Here. I'll go first. I'm all ready. And I remember my uncle Ray would be the last one usually, and the water would be pretty scuzzy on top by that time.
Patricia:But, that's how you took your bath. My grandpa, I believe he was born in Arkansas, and he, taught himself to read, and the only book he ever read was a Bible. He said he was a hardshell Baptist. Well, I didn't know what that was. I looked it up in the dictionary, and it says primitive Baptist.
Patricia:So that didn't help me one bit to know what hardshell baptist was, primitive baptist. I don't know. There was some hellfire and damnation and stuff like that, you know, and everything. And my sweet grandma was, from Oklahoma, part Cherokee Indian, and one of the bravest woman I've ever known from her tragedies she went through and stuff. You just wouldn't know it because she was always smiling and always happy.
Patricia:Now she was my step grandmother. My grandpa's original wife, Ada, she, had my first aunt and then my next aunt and then my mother who was a baby, she died. And so my grandpa took her over to his sisters, and he took the other older girls over to parents to raise. But he see them all every day. After after work.
Patricia:He'd walk like a mile to go see my mother.
Grace:Okay.
Patricia:And so I never knew her, but I knew, you know, she had 2 sisters and 2 brothers. And and one of the sisters, my aunt Maudie, I knew very, very, very well. She did my great aunt Maudie and, loved her and adored her, and she was funny and could put a show on and make you laugh so hard. It was just the same thing. You know?
Patricia:You you go to the house to try to cool off, and it's not the least bit cooler outside. And, oh my gosh. The mosquitoes the mosquitoes, and they just hung around you all the time. But, you know, we'd go we we'd see different relatives and different people, and once again, I just loved it. I loved it.
Patricia:The kids nowadays, if you said you're going down there where there's no running water and no air conditioning and it's hot as all get out and mosquitoes are gonna eat you alive and you gotta use the outhouse, they they go, oh, not me. I don't wanna do that. And I say, it's a different way of life, but, boy, I wouldn't have missed it for anything in the whole world. So, and then we would go from there to Tennessee, and Tennessee was where my dad grew up. Mhmm.
Patricia:They were even poor. Well, the house had started off as a one room log cabin. I don't know how many generations ago. Wow. And then, I guess as each person it was handed down to, they'd add a room here and there.
Patricia:And, I remember I said to my cousin Charles, I said one day, I found this old picture of, the log cabin being built, and there's all these old people sitting in front of it, you know, and I don't know who any of them are. And he says, where do you think you spent all your summers? And I thought for a minute, and it hit me that the living room was logs. All those years, I'd never noticed. Oh.
Patricia:And, of course, the beds 2 double beds in the living room and then 2 double beds in the walkway and then another double bed and got our water from a well and from a spring, and it was more or less same routine when you come to taking a bath. So, and the outhouse. I had a cousin who was 5 years older than me, and my grandma had raised her and her brother and sister, my grandma and grandpa. And so I always had her, Betty, to do things with, walk in the cow pasture, go on the chicken coop. Oh, this is interesting.
Patricia:In the front of the house were these gravestones, but you couldn't make them out. We'd even take paper, you know, and do pencil on the paper to try to see if we could see what the names were. So once again, I'm in the dark, and I I asked my older cousins, well, who else is buried out there? And they said, during, like, the Dust Bowl era and the depression, people who had to leave their homes and most of them, you know, headed for California and stuff like that, If they had a loved one die, what were they gonna do? They'd come to my grandpa and say, can we bury our loved one on your land?
Patricia:Yeah, he'd say, and he'd go take wood from the barn and build coffins. And my grandmother would take the material from the flower sack and line these coffins, and they let the people bury them right there out in the front yard. There was a bunch of them out there. And, of course, never expect any money or anything. And, so, you know, I know my cousin used to tell me when I was little.
Patricia:We'd sleep in this one room, which, the the little cemetery thing was right in front of it. We go to bed, and I say, Betty, what's what's all that scratching noise I hear? And she say, oh, don't worry. That's the rats between the walls. I say, oh, okay.
Patricia:And then she tell me, now if you stay up late enough, you'll see those people out there crawl out of their graves and come up over the tombstone. And, oh, how I try to stay up late. I'd try. I'd try. I'd try.
Patricia:And every morning, I'd wake up, and she'd say, did you see him? And I'd say, no. I fell asleep. I she had me fooled with that for a long time. But no money.
Patricia:Both both places, no money, but lots of joy, lots of love, lots of old stories you hear, lots of laughter, both my grandparents' places and, wouldn't give that up for anything either. A lot of people nowadays would go, yuck, but you don't know what it's like. Oh, wouldn't change it. Nobody ever had any money, but lots of luck. In the evenings, sitting out on the old front porch, it and listening to the old stories, of course.
Patricia:It was just I'm the kind of person that just eats all that up. And being with my own people was the most always the most wonderful thing in the world to me. And like I say, the street I grew up on in Michigan and then being we called it going down home back then in Arkansas and Tennessee with my people down there. And then when we'd have big family get togethers, everybody had their guitars out and singing, and to me, that was heaven. It was pure heaven.
Grace:That is so beautiful. A lot of love, a lot of laughter. You've said more than one time that you would never you wouldn't trade it for anything. I have a question for you based on what you just shared. Of your years growing up, all of those experiences, what has really stayed with you all these years?
Grace:What what is it about your upbringing that has influenced who you are today? Well,
Patricia:I was brought up in a Christian home. My dad's side were Presbyterian. My mother's side where you had your hardshell Baptist. You had Assembly of God. The grandparents' great grandparents were Methodist.
Patricia:A little bit of everything, but since he was Presbyterian, she became Presbyterian. And it was a it was a I mean, we didn't say prayers together every day or stuff like that, but, boy, we were taught the bible, and we were taken to church. And I'm so thankful, so so thankful for that. What I also learned, and it took but this took a while. You know?
Patricia:Unfortunately, with age comes wisdom instead of the other way around. I wish you had the wisdom when you were young, but, I feel I know what's important and what isn't. We didn't have anything for a long time. And then when I first got married, we didn't have anything for a long time. What I mean is we had 30 year old carpeting, 30 year old drapes, you know, hand me down, hand me down, hand me down couches.
Patricia:And my girlfriend and I I'm a girlfriend, Dolly, and I would go, garbage picking, on garbage night and find things. But when you're young, you want nice things so bad. But, I wasn't, because the way I was raised some of my friends, you know, we'd go to open houses with big staircases and fancy stuff, and they'd say, I'm gonna have this out Monday. It never crossed my mind. And now that I'm older, now I really know you don't need all that stuff.
Patricia:Sometimes the tiniest little house you might see with the lights on, and my kids would say, gee. What do you think they're doing in there? I said, you know what? There's probably more love and joy in that house than some old big mansion you might see. And so now, you know, we may need new this or new that, and I'm always, it'll last another year.
Patricia:It'll last another year. You know, we don't need it. You know? Just as long as when people come, they're comfortable. That's all I care.
Patricia:Just like 2 big arms welcome you into the house. So, I I learned that, and I haven't always been an angel, still not. But my mother and the lady next door, Wilma, they were the ones everybody on our little street went to for help. Can you watch my child for me? Can you sew this for me?
Patricia:Have you got milk and sugar you can loan me? Can you help me do this? It was always my mother or Wilma. You never said no. And my dad was a a truck driver and a mechanic, and people need to work on their car.
Patricia:Hey, Brian. Can you come down and work on my car? Sure. So I learned that you try never to say no. If if you're able to do it, you try never to say no.
Patricia:I've tried to be that way. There probably were times when I was a teenager or in my twenties, maybe where I was more interested in me than what somebody else needed, or I wasn't appreciative of all the things that were done for me. But as I got older, I would remember that, And, and I have a wonderful husband, John, who is well, the gift God gave to him was servitude. He's a servant to everybody. So between the 2 of us, anybody needs help or anything like that, we always try to be there and do our best.
Patricia:Plus, we've had a lot of people be really good to us and help us. So
Grace:Well, thank you. That was beautiful. Patricia, you are a an amazing storyteller. I have to tell you that. I I could sit here and listen to you all day, and, your upbringing in your family and the joy that you find in life is truly inspiring to listen to.
Grace:So thank you for sharing that. Let's switch over to a little bit of a different topic, also about you is, education and career in general. Let's just start off with did did you attend school or receive any formal education? We'll start with that question.
Patricia:I went kindergarten through 12. I hated school. I don't know if you do it like this or if you do it like this. I was a loser. And I tell you, it's tough when you're a loser.
Patricia:I didn't know through grade school I was. I didn't know yet. But when you go into junior high, our city had 2 junior highs. Of course, I went to the one that was built probably in the 1600. It was so old and there were bars on the windows.
Patricia:When you start into 7th grade to that school, then there's about 3 other elementary schools that come in with your elementary schools. So kids you've never met before. They let me know pretty quick on I was a loser and didn't have much going for me. So I did not want to be in never in the spotlight. Put me in the back row, in the back seat, in a dark corner, and hope the teacher never calls on me.
Patricia:Oh, I I and I was made fun of because, you know, I was I was very skinny. My teeth were not good. Well, I was the type that would always, you know, fall down the stairs or drop all my books or somebody pulled my seat out from under me, and I'd sit on the floor. A lot of nice people are at school, but that is quite tricky. The other side of town had more money than our side of town.
Patricia:But I had my best friends, and we would make through it. And we had to walk about 3 miles to school, about 3 miles back. And we would laugh all the way there and laugh all the way home. So it's not like I went home crying. I I I did I did go home crying one time.
Patricia:The first time, I got my feelings hurt. Now you have to understand my mother to know this. I said, mom, somebody was picking on me today. This was in elementary school probably or or 7th grade. I said it hurt my feelings.
Patricia:And here's what she said, words of wisdom. Well, just remember when they're picking on you, they're leaving somebody else alone. And I thought, oh, boy. I'm never coming to you again. She picks on me.
Patricia:Never. And but if you knew her, she meant that with her heart. She would much rather have someone pick on her than somebody else. Her heart was so good. Well, my heart was certainly not that good.
Patricia:Oh. And I'd say, well, I'm not happy they're picking on me.
Speaker 4:I don't pick on somebody else and leave me alone.
Patricia:And she said, oh, no, no, sis. Be happy. They're leaving some other poor soul alone when they're picking on you. Okay, mom. I will
Speaker 4:never come to you again for any kind of sympathy oriented.
Sponsor:And now for a word from our sponsors. Ready to share your stories and life philosophy, or capture those of a parent or grandparent? Or maybe a corporate package is right for you to build connection across your workforce and add value to your clients. Visit audio life dot I o today to learn more. Our listeners will get 10% off using discount code gift 10 and order number Audio Life podcast.
Sponsor:Audio Life, where memories find their voice.
Patricia:And my dad was, of course, the type who always said, you know, boy, you're not gonna like everybody in life. In other words, it's gonna like you. Please stop by your bootstraps and, just handle it. And I learned to. That's what you do.
Patricia:You just you learn to handle it. And I really think it it was better than being coddled. If they would say, oh, honey, baby, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. We'll go right up there and talk to that teacher, the mother of that kid, and we'll see what we no. That that wouldn't have been good.
Patricia:Now nowadays, I can understand because nowadays, they physically harm the kids when they bully them. Nowadays, I say go to your parents. Go to the principal. Go to the superintendent. Go to the police.
Patricia:But back then, it didn't work that way. You know, hey, take care of yourself. And, remember to leave somebody else alone. And, so I was brought up with that kind of attitude. So just a loser all through school.
Patricia:But but I had fun with my friends, you know, my personal friends. We had a good time. I didn't go to college, on my street. I don't nobody spoke of college. None of the kids went to college.
Patricia:You wanted to get a job, make money, and buy yourself a car desperately. So that's that's what you wanted. College? No, thanks. Let me get a job, bring some money home, and get myself a car.
Patricia:And that's what I did. And I wasn't really interested in anything that I wanted to make a career. I just wanted to get married and have babies, which is what I did. But a girlfriend asked me recently, well, wasn't there anything you wanted to do? I said, yes.
Patricia:I said, there was one thing, be a backup singer in a doo wop group. You know, the 3 don't put me in front. Put me in back and let me just be the oh, ah, oh, ah, ah, girl. You know? And that you know, that's just it, but don't put the spotlight on me.
Patricia:I never did that. So, but but that was my my aspirations were to have children, have a family. I've always loved children so much. And God blessed me with, 3 wonderful boys. And then when I got married the second time, he blessed me with 3 more wonderful boys and a daughter.
Patricia:So I end up with 7 kids.
Grace:Oh my goodness.
Grace:Very, very full life. Well, first of all, I love how honest and reflective you are about every little bit. You weren't a loser. You were probably just a late bloomer. I would say that's probably what it was when I listened to you, Patricia, talking about first your young life and then into your teenage years and then to young adulthood, I hear this theme of really wanting so much to support others and finding joy in life and also toughing out whatever you need to do.
Grace:You you obviously are very resilient and have been all this time, and, you just love life. I I I sense a lot of joy in what you talk about. And that's only I've only known you for 35 minutes, so I can tell already. Now, and you've had many people in your life, obviously, from young Patricia till now. Is there a special person who has, made a significant impact on your life?
Patricia:Well, of course, my parents. A lot of my friends and and my cousins and aunts and uncles. I just had friends that were so good. There was there was a friend of mine, Mary, such a good heart. Of course, all my aunts and uncles because I was a loser.
Patricia:But to them but to them, I was so special, and I was so loved. I I think if it hadn't been for all of them, I would have had no self esteem at all. But they always loved me and spent time with me and did things with me. And that's how I kept some self esteem without, you know, losing it all. There are people in my life, a couple of my ministers, and I worked as a church secretary and, our family doctor when I was growing up who was a wonderful, wonderful he he'd come to the house still and they didn't do that then.
Patricia:Or he'd keep the office open till you got off work so you could come in and see him. It's too bad when people are older and they wanna tell you these kind of stories and you're a teenager, you're not interested. You don't have time to listen. And then after they're older or they've passed, you say, oh, gosh. Why don't I sit down with one of them and just take notes?
Patricia:But I did catch some of it. I would my ear, I would catch some of the stuff when everybody be sitting around talking. And the stuff I would catch, I would remember. But, gee, there were so many people who are wonderful mentors, wonderful friends. I'll start to cry.
Patricia:And just all my all my, family on all sides. I have just been blessed, but, life hasn't always been joyous. Gone through some pretty heavy, heavy, heavy things in life, try to keep my trust in the Lord. And even though some things you pray for years years years and you don't see anything happening, but if you're lucky when it finally happens, you understood why the Lord or the person you loved going through that did it and you're lucky if you learned something from it, if you pay attention. And I've had that happen.
Grace:That was beautiful. Thank you so much. You have so much so much wisdom, and I wanna talk about that a little bit. Your philosophies in life, and I've caught some of it, of course, as as a Christian and a believer and a woman who has been loved since day 1, surrounded by family and a lot of support. But, of course, hard things happen as well, or maybe your loved ones go through hard things.
Grace:What would you say and you've shared some of it already, but, if I wanna ask you, can you share some life lessons or wisdom you've accumulated over the years? I have a feeling you have a bunch of wisdom, but if you could give me a couple of them that really stand out to you that guide you as far as life lessons and wisdom?
Patricia:Oh, that's hard. Some wisdom people don't like to hear. I try to tell these young girls now when they have a baby. I say, now before you turn around, that baby's gonna be walking out the door to college or marriage or moving somewhere else. You've got to grab all the time you can with them.
Patricia:Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then, of course, they have the baby, and at 6 weeks, it's in daycare because they need the big house, the big car, the big vacations. And I wanna tell them, no, no, no, no. And that's not really what the kids remember.
Patricia:They don't remember, oh, remember that big car we had? Remember this this big this? They remember, oh, mom. Remember when we used to make a tent over the couch and we get under it and sleep there? Or we dress up this way or that way, or we do this or that.
Patricia:You have to spend time with them and do things with them and listen to them. And, but, you know, the kids nowadays, they just don't get it. See, I have no regrets. We didn't have anything for many years, But I have no regrets because I knew someday the kids would grow up, and then I could go well, even when they went when they got in school all day, I got a job with the school. So, all that other time and in the summers, you know, I wanted to be there for them.
Patricia:Most people I'm sorry, but most people want the almighty dollar more than they want to stay home. And it's getting harder and harder also for people to stay home, especially well, you have no choice if you're single, raising a child. But back then, you know, everything we had was old and used. The kids didn't notice that. They never noticed that.
Patricia:We and we laugh about it now. And they've told me they're glad I stayed home, and I'm glad I stayed home. And, of course, I don't push I don't think I push my religion on people, but they know pretty quick that I'm a Christian. I'm a lover of Christ, and I'm not a perfect Christian. I'm a sinner, but I love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, and I try to live the way he wants me to.
Patricia:But it's you know, we had that that selfish little evil meanness in us. Sometimes it's hard to do. And and, as you grow up, don't judge everybody. Now I've probably done that when I was younger, and my dad was very strict about judging anybody. He'd say, I could tell you a little story.
Patricia:Can I tell you a little story here? When my grandpa died, He had lived in the same city in Tennessee, I guess, his whole life, and he had been the justice of the peace. They grew tobacco. He was a a gentleman and a gentleman, my grandpa Lee. He was just just a a wonderful, wonderful person.
Patricia:And, I think that's where my dad learned it from. Not judging people. So, so when Paul died, the funeral home was right down in the middle of town. Right in the middle of town, and and you had to stay there all night with the body. Somebody had to stay there all night with the body.
Patricia:My dad and and and and one of my relatives stayed up all night when my grandpa was there. But me and my cousins, we were like 18, 19, 20. And, you get that age, you know. Lord knows we weren't rich, but there were so many rows of flowers that they went outside of the funeral home. The flowers on the stands, you know?
Patricia:There were so many, they couldn't hold them all in this funeral home. They were all lined up outside. And one day, this woman came, and I saw her talking to my dad who had been the baby in the family. And she had a little brown bag, and she gave that to him. Well, she had on, you know, just old pants, old shoes, an old shirt and her hair up in a bun.
Patricia:And, I must have had that look on my face that my dad caught, like, well, who is that? Remember, I was still, you know, pretty young then, but old enough where I should have known better. Well, he caught it and so later he got a hold of me and he says, you think you're better than that lady? No. He said, you're not better than anybody else, and don't judge people thinking you're better.
Patricia:He said, you know how many miles she walked that day to come to the funeral? And this is back in the hills, back in the holler. And he said, she walked so many miles up and down through those hills to come. And she couldn't afford any flowers, so she brought me the best she had. And in that bag was a sweet potato.
Patricia:That was the best she had, and she wanted to give it to my dad in honor of my grandfather. And he says, so I don't I don't wanna ever see you or hear of you judging anybody or thinking you're better than anybody else because you're not. And, so when my kids started school and as they were getting older, I said, no. Be nice. If there's a kid that nobody talks to or they pick on, I said, remember, mama was a nerd.
Patricia:Mama was picked on in school. You be that kid's friend. And I said, guess what? You might make it a friend for life. I said, please.
Patricia:And they did. They were so good about that. I said, you don't you don't, well, like they say, until you've walked in someone's shoes, you know, you don't know. And I say, we don't know what his life is like at home. Might be a terrible life.
Patricia:He might be abused, mistreated. I said, You be nice to that kid. You make that kid feel good. And they always did. They're still that way, and I'm always very, very, very proud of them.
Patricia:So, I think that's one of the most important things you can teach a child. Give that new person or even that person that everybody's always been mean to, Give them a chance. Give them a chance, and and it might really work out for you.
Grace:What a legacy from generation to generation of how to treat people.
Patricia:And remember, when they're picking on you, they're leaving somebody else alone.
Grace:Patricia, I've never heard that advice in my life. I am we are this is why we're recording this today because this is both funny but very poignant advice that the world actually needs to hear. So I'll say it again. You're an incredible story teller. You should be doing more podcasts.
Grace:So let me,
Patricia:Well, my husband for years my husband for years has said, honey,
Grace:there's a
Patricia:book inside you.
Grace:Oh, yes. You know that, don't you? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Grace:There is, Patricia.
Patricia:And I said, well, yeah. I said, I wouldn't want to get sued by anybody. I said, but, you know, maybe one day I will sit down and my family's quite funny, and there are so many funny, stories just to write those down. And then I worked for the school district, and a lot of things happen funny when you're teaching kids and, you know, you gotta keep a straight face and not let them know you find that hilarious, and you just keep teaching. And I'm Irish, so I say Irish storyteller.
Patricia:And, yes. He had and so my daughter-in-law set this up because my son would always say, mom, do this. Please do this. Please do this. So we had Yes.
Patricia:And I said, well, okay. I'll do my best, but, just my family. It's a huge family. Some have been in jail. Some have been in prison.
Patricia:Some have been in rehab. I've been on the psychiatric ward at one time. A little bit of everything. Yeah. But that's life.
Patricia:We love them.
Grace:Yeah.
Patricia:They love me. I love every one of them. And, it's funny they give you the shirt off their back, but they might take some pills. But, the most wonderful, wonderful, wonderful relatives. And when you're surrounded by I'll say when you're surrounded by so much unconditional love, as I was growing up by all my family and relatives, I wish every child had that.
Grace:It's, you're blessed. You've been blessed. And you and because you've been blessed and loved, then you you have that to give to others as well. So you have the a full cup to also pour into other people's lives, and you are doing it even despite recording this. Someone needs to hear every single bit of what you just shared.
Grace:So, thank goodness your you you said your son made you do this or your daughter will? This is it is a good thing.
Patricia:Yeah. My son and then my daughter
Grace:and husband set it up. So glad. I'm so glad.
Patricia:All, all my boys have good hearts. Yeah. Praise the lord. They're they're kind people, and I have wonderful daughter in laws and, wonderful grandson. And I hope some of it, they learned from me.
Patricia:I know people who say, do as I say, not as I do. But it's really do as I do, and then you have to set that example Yeah. For them. There are times, you know, when they where they they'd be over 6 feet, and I'd be chasing them around 11 to slap them or something like that. I mean, it wasn't always perfect.
Patricia:And, that spare the rod, spoil the child, I I never spared the rod. I mean, they were good, but don't lie to me about anything. Don't ever lie to me. That'll make me nauseous. I can I can remember chasing them around and and then be looking up, you know, to try to smack them on?
Patricia:But I have a wonderful relationship with them, and they have a great sense of humor, like I say, great hearts and very, very, very giving. And I have the most wonderful husband on the face of the universe. So I've really been blessed. I told the Lord at night. I say thank you for my life, when I was born, where I was born, family I was born into, the friends and the mentors I've had, the family you've given me.
Patricia:Life has not been perfect. There have been times where life hurts so bad. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. So you have to do your best to hang in there. I would tell some of these poor kids there's so many suicides now, And I just wanna say, honey, hang on.
Patricia:You don't know what tomorrow might bring. It it could be worse. Another one of my mom's little sayings was, they told me cheer up. Things could be worse. So I cheered up.
Patricia:And sure enough, things got worse. That was another one of her little things. But, you don't know. Today could be a day where you feel like I can't go on. I can't take one more step.
Patricia:I can't take one more step. But if you hang on the next day, something so wonderful might happen to you, and you'd be saying, oh, boy. I'm glad I'm I was here for this. But everybody in this world has troubles. Everybody in this world has problems.
Patricia:Do your best to make good decisions, and when you have no control, give it to the Lord and hang in there and hang in there and hang in there.
Grace:On that note, that's actually a wonderful last thought to wrap up our session as we are closing out. Patricia, is there anything else that I haven't touched on that you would like to share in this recording?
Patricia:Yes. I'd say a lot of men, especially in the old days, the woman was supposed to be submissive. I grew up and the women were submissive. My first time around, I was submissive. But the men don't go on and read the second part, which says, love your wife like Christ loves the church.
Patricia:And I have a husband who does that, And, he just made my life so different, so giving, so understanding, so patient, so kind. So I want any one woman out there who's maybe being treated bad or anything and the husband says, well, it says in the Bible, you're supposed to be submissive. Say, yes, and it says, you're supposed to love me like Christ loves the church. Simple as that. I guess that's they say laughter is the best medicine, and I truly believe that.
Patricia:And we laugh a lot and have a lot of fun and don't worry about what other people think. Sometimes when something's going wrong, I'll say, Lord, why are you picking on me? But then I stop and think of everything I've had and I say, Lord, why have you blessed me so? And maybe one day I'll write that book. And I hope I do someday because they can see they came from wonderful grandparents and wonderful great grandparents, my kids.
Patricia:You know, you'd like to know about your ancestry. And I want them to know they came from a long line of good people. Nobody was ever rich, but we knew how to laugh and sing and love each other. So
Grace:Bless your heart for sharing that. Someone needs to hear this. I promise you. I I do. I I'm sure that, Patricia, thank you ever so much for literally opening your hearts to this recording.
Grace:And, I'm so we love technology now because we've captured all of that. And so that wraps up our this our conversation with you today, Patricia. It's been my honor. Absolutely, you've given me joy in just a a third just in less than an hour. I have so much to think about, and no doubt whoever is listening to this because we don't know.
Grace:It could be it could be one of your family members. It could be friends. Whoever's listening to this, go back and rewind and listen to some of the absolute nuggets of wisdom that Patricia and her family have literally lived through. And on that note, we wanna bid farewell to the audience, and that concludes today's audio life memoir.
Patricia:Alright. God bless you, and have a great day, honey.
Sponsor:If you like what you heard today, consider recording your own Audio Life private podcast or giving one to a loved one for a unique and memorable gift. Today, Audio Life listeners will receive 10% off using discount code gift 10, an order number audio life podcast. Also, remember to rate our show and subscribe so you'll never miss an episode.