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Come può un uomo essere "da" Z.I.O.?
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:00.931)
Hello and welcome to Bobcrawler Puddles!
Luciano (00:04.978)
You just hit on your balls before you talk? What the fuck happened there?
Matt (00:07.614)
Is that... Is that the... I was just trying to bring different energy. I'm trying to... I'm too downtrodden and depressed? Oppressed? I don't know.
Chris (00:12.988)
Mmm.
Mm -hmm. Mm -mmm!
Luciano (00:17.872)
That's okay, Spencer's not here, so it's fine.
Matt (00:19.702)
Yeah. But I want to practice. want to, when he comes back, I want to really nail the, the worst, the worst intro. Well, we'll see. We are trialing a new member of the podcast again today. You heard already Luciano.
Chris (00:23.6)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (00:23.695)
if it comes back.
Chris (00:26.559)
The worst welcome.
Luciano (00:31.762)
I'm the new member as good to be here first time long time What whatever book whatever bullshit Spencer always says because he wants to say first time? Join her long time listener, but he just says first time long time every time Yeah
Chris (00:32.052)
Yes, we are.
Chris (00:39.509)
Test your might.
Matt (00:49.292)
Yeah, well, listen, great job. You're filling two roles at one time.
Chris (00:52.469)
Yes, I'm so happy to be part of this team.
Luciano (00:54.01)
hahahaha
Matt (00:55.955)
Chris has continued to join us as well.
Matt (01:05.218)
And we brought back our number one fan, so he tells us, you still haven't proven he's listened to any of podcasts. Other, other med.
Luciano (01:05.37)
Hahaha
Chris (01:13.717)
Quick, hit that pause button. Hit the pause button.
Matthew Ward (01:15.063)
Is this a podcast?
Chris (01:18.997)
DMV?
Matthew Ward (01:20.557)
Hello. Pleasure, pleasure to be here, to be seen, to be pretty much anywhere. It's all good. What is this again? This is a podcast, right?
Matt (01:21.548)
Hello, welcome from the Great Pre -Owned.
Matt (01:27.296)
Yeah, we're not gonna, it's fine. Listen, you just tell us where you're on, where you're on the night of August the 12th and we'll be on our way, sir.
Luciano (01:29.042)
Where am I? What am I doing here?
Matthew Ward (01:38.336)
that'll be fine. I'm drinking water, I swear.
Chris (01:38.428)
I don't answer questions. I don't answer questions.
Matt (01:43.018)
Yes, we watched the grand return of a classic.
The man from Uncle.
Guy Ritchie. mean, yeah, but what about Jared Harris? Jared Harris is my favorite option, I think.
Chris (01:57.097)
works.
Luciano (01:57.823)
Jared Harris vehicle.
Chris (02:00.495)
Yes. David Beckham vehicle, because he was changing, he was changing the film.
Matt (02:05.314)
yeah, I suppose you are right. I think you're right. It is the David Beckham vehicle, the man from Uncle. It is an older movie, 2015. It has just come back onto streaming after being off for, could have been five days. It could have been four years. I have no idea. Netflix was like, it's coming back. We're like, good enough for us. Sign us up.
Luciano (02:12.401)
Yeah
Chris (02:21.351)
Mm -hmm. Mm -mm.
Luciano (02:21.362)
We will never know, because we will never look up.
Matthew Ward (02:21.673)
Thank
Luciano (02:25.702)
Yeah.
Chris (02:25.759)
Yeah?
Matt (02:28.23)
listen, let's get this out of the way before some of us says something that we'll regret. Yeah. Never are we gonna regret. Yeah, we know Armie Hammer's kind of a weird fucking dude and did some really questionable shit that, not proven in a court of law. We do it more than once. You know, probably leads to some sort of level of guilt. We understand that we're not here to litigate that the internet has done that already. He lost. He never worked in Hollywood again.
Luciano (02:33.586)
that we're all going to regret.
Matt (02:57.654)
We don't think it's good that he is a creep, but we like talking about movies and we're going to talk about this movie in the context of it as a movie. That's what that's what we do here, except for Matt. He's he's going to here we go. Matt, take the floor.
Matthew Ward (03:06.088)
Listen, the man, you can dislike him, you can dislike him, he's weird, but you cannot disrespect the skill, the acting skill. This man played the Lone Ranger, he was able to play a Russian spy in this film, all while also pretending to be not someone who horribly does monstrous things and eats people. I think that's what it was, I didn't really watch the documentary.
Chris (03:20.191)
Mm
Hmm.
Matt (03:31.495)
Alleged people. Wait, allegedly eats.
Luciano (03:33.998)
It's just, it's just, it's just, no, no, no, wait, wait. It's just, he just had a fantasy about eating people.
Matthew Ward (03:34.046)
But this is the thing, this is what I'm saying. He, his whole life is a
Chris (03:35.477)
alleged people.
Matt (03:40.502)
Yeah,
Matthew Ward (03:41.767)
His whole life is acting. That is some Anthony Hopkins level shit right there. Daniel Day Lewis couldn't even do that. I mean, how do you be normal then something else, then the weirdo later? That skill. So give him that credit. Don't give him anything else.
Chris (03:46.025)
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Luciano (03:46.608)
Not Daniel Day Lewis.
Matt (03:57.314)
Okay, we're gonna move on, listen, if when you got here was a weird cut, don't worry about it. It's fine, you didn't miss anything.
Matthew Ward (04:01.437)
but that.
Matthew Ward (04:07.401)
I'm sorry, I mean, I was trying to bring you back, but you know, some people just can't come back from certain things.
Luciano (04:08.108)
HAHAHAHA! HA!
Chris (04:11.223)
Yeah
Luciano (04:12.402)
what could you possibly mean by that?
Matt (04:17.996)
fine. There we go. Let's talk about the one thing we'd like to move. We always talk positive, just in case this movie is dogshit piece of crap.
Luciano (04:30.406)
What?
Matt (04:32.576)
I don't know what else. Chris.
What was your favorite part of this movie?
Luciano (04:39.58)
weird pause.
Chris (04:41.121)
Well, he was percolating on it. He wanted to execute. Did you hear the Christmas and delivery from the diaphragm? Like, this is why he's our host, Matt. Check it. Now, favorite part of the movie, I have to do it. It was the boat chase infiltration setting where like, Ilya is like, shut up and watch me work. I'm gonna do this thing. And then like sends, right.
Matthew Ward (05:03.292)
Thank
Luciano (05:08.048)
Hold on,
Chris (05:10.533)
sends Napoleon flying and then Napoleon's like, alright fine, I'm just gonna take my ass and sit down here and watch this motherfucker do his thing and then proceeds to find boon after boon after boon, cuts the radio on, napkin and just enjoys his life. He enjoyed his life watching this motherfucker.
Luciano (05:27.762)
Dude, hit the fucking jackpot with that truck.
Chris (05:32.701)
You know, like you can't even say he turned a lemon into lemonade. That motherfucker took a lemon and came out with sweet, sweet, kian, tea, grapes, et cetera, et cetera.
Luciano (05:38.341)
No.
Matt (05:49.132)
Chris is hyped, if you can't tell. Matt, why don't you go next?
Matthew Ward (05:53.126)
My favorite part, I would say I really did like, I like the overall vibe. guess it's not the part of the movie, but my favorite thing about the movie was the overall vibe, how it looked like it was just one big Cartier ad. Like it just looked like everyone smelled like Giorgio Armani's pits. Like it just looked like everything was just beautiful and expensive and I loved it.
Chris (06:04.415)
Yeah.
Chris (06:08.819)
Hmm. that's hmm. That's the angle you know
Luciano (06:09.791)
Ha
Matthew Ward (06:22.03)
I thought it was great. So I liked all of that. I mean, I would say maybe my favorite favorite scene would probably be...
Chris (06:23.765)
bling bling bling.
Matthew Ward (06:33.457)
there was a couple of good ones. Try to think like the chase was. The chase at the end was pretty good, but I would say maybe it was honestly it was probably the scene with Ilya and God, what's her name? Gabby, that's it. I almost said her real name. That's why. But yeah, the scene with Gabby where she was doing her risky business sort of impression in the background and then they get into like the crazy fight. I was digging that.
Matt (06:47.66)
Gabby?
Luciano (06:58.834)
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. That thing is pretty good, yeah.
Matt (07:00.954)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (07:02.487)
I was diggin' that.
Matt (07:05.078)
Now let's give him, like that one as well. Luciano, what do got?
Luciano (07:09.372)
think my favorite thing about the movie was like, I'm just gonna call it like the visual language of the movie. Like the cut scenes like sliding into place. very like paying a very good homage to like the 60s series, like get smart and even like mash. That kind of thing. I really liked it. It's it's, you can tell that they're like,
Chris (07:30.28)
in like flint.
Luciano (07:38.31)
Harking back to that, but without it being super cheesy or without it being like overwhelming or like overdone.
Matt (07:45.484)
So yeah, so they're not just bringing back the original actors in a cameo role at end of the movie for no reason.
Luciano (07:54.818)
Yeah, yeah. Have we watched something that... No, we couldn't have. Okay. Yeah. shut the fuck up. Why do you always gotta bring that up?
Matt (07:59.03)
Nah, I don't know. Nevermind. It's fine.
Chris (08:01.043)
It's the diet! Anyways. Because the rest of you are too slow. You gotta like bring it. Like see it and accept it.
Matthew Ward (08:05.316)
Okay.
Luciano (08:10.558)
No, you have to bury it and forget it. But yeah, so I think that was my favorite thing with the movie. Even in the beginning when they're showing, like they're doing the credits and like the lines on the screen and then the very last line, like the red line on the screen, like becomes the Berlin Wall. It's so well done. Like it's almost like Edgar Wright levels of like interaction. Right. So.
Chris (08:23.517)
Yeah
Chris (08:29.853)
Yeah. Brilliant.
Chris (08:38.031)
I hear you. And like the soundtrack too, especially like that set the whole tone too. Yeah.
Luciano (08:40.1)
Yeah, yeah, no, well, I mean, it's Guy Ritchie. dude knows his his flair, right? He knows how to how to make things stylish. yeah. And yeah, I think that's my favorite thing about it. Like, I like the movie overall, but like, that's my favorite thing.
Matt (08:49.696)
Yep. All right. No, I like that.
Matt (08:58.536)
I think, I think, you know, the one thing in the movie that I enjoyed, if we're talking specifically at the movie itself, and, then I think for me, it's just that opening car chase for Gabby's driving. So you see Gabby's super capable and, and they're like going through all their spa emotions and just like the way they talk about each other. like, at one point, she's like, is he, is he dead? And he's like, I don't think so.
Luciano (09:15.644)
Yeah.
Chris (09:15.923)
Yeah
Luciano (09:26.706)
And you're two 1000s after the car
Chris (09:26.751)
Mm.
Matt (09:26.806)
Like just that whole conversation there.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's just like it was a fun way to introduce the two, the two. Are they both antagonists, both like protagonists? I don't know. Yeah, I guess. Antagonist to each other, maybe, but it's a good way to introduce the two of them, even the three of them, you know, in that one area.
Chris (09:31.781)
Yeah, that never gets old.
Luciano (09:34.843)
Yeah.
Luciano (09:42.106)
both protagonists.
Chris (09:43.89)
all of them are.
Matthew Ward (09:46.305)
you
Luciano (09:49.499)
Yeah.
Chris (09:50.932)
Yeah.
Luciano (09:52.784)
I really liked how, not cheesy, like how, like it's almost like stylistic suck when he's backing down the car or he got the car and she's like backing out like he told her to and you can see from the top that they nearly miss each other. like, this is so 60s spy show. Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly.
Chris (10:09.013)
Yeah.
Chris (10:14.911)
but slick, slick in that way, but then leveled up and then leveraging like cinematography in a way that's just, ooh, whoa.
Luciano (10:20.476)
Yeah.
Matt (10:24.33)
I think that's it's a yeah. like the other thing I was going to say that's not spitter rated to the movie, but it's like just the casting. My God. know, this is excellent cast of actors that got caught at different starts of their careers before. I mean, like since then, Elizabeth DeBeccy's been in it.
Luciano (10:24.508)
Taste, it's tasty.
Chris (10:26.153)
Mmm.
Chris (10:31.442)
Hmm
Luciano (10:33.915)
Yeah.
Chris (10:35.477)
Snaps in the chat.
Chris (10:41.897)
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Matt (10:42.646)
Garth's Gallic. She she was Diana and that. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (10:42.961)
Yeah.
Chris (10:47.209)
yeah, the Netflix Queen Elizabeth. Yeah. Wow.
Luciano (10:53.019)
Alicia Vikander unfortunately played Lara Craft. Lara Craft. Not Lara Craft. Lara Craft is the owner of Craft Services.
Matt (10:56.866)
Yeah, whoops.
Chris (10:58.005)
Unfortunately?
Matt (11:01.41)
Ha ha ha ha.
Matthew Ward (11:02.771)
Yep, don't feel too bad for her. She's married to Michael Fassbender too.
Luciano (11:07.941)
Okay. Yeah.
Chris (11:08.745)
That's a bad thing? I'll have to Google that. Anyways!
Matt (11:11.02)
The good thing she was in was ex -ex -ex -ex -ex -ex -ex
Luciano (11:14.636)
X Machina. I mean, it's a bit honest, not here to talk about X Machina, but like, yeah. It was, yeah.
Matthew Ward (11:14.673)
Ex Machina, that's right. She was...
Chris (11:14.884)
yeah!
Chris (11:21.166)
because it was good.
Matt (11:21.442)
Also, apparently she was in the Green Knight, don't remember that, but anyways.
Chris (11:25.47)
Really?
Matthew Ward (11:26.024)
Was she?
Luciano (11:26.14)
She was, yeah, she was. boy, that movie. Fuck that shit.
Matt (11:27.872)
Yeah. We watched that for another podcast and another life. We're not going to talk about it here. So the cast was really good. So, but I want to go back to talking with the stylizing from the sixties and stuff, because it, one of the really interesting, I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about like making movies and making historical movies is like, just because something is historical accurate, doesn't mean it would be believed today. So like the example they write, the example they use in the podcast was like the idea, like the name Tiffany.
Chris (11:28.414)
I don't remember her.
Luciano (11:33.361)
Yeah.
Chris (11:33.844)
But it's recorded.
Luciano (11:52.594)
100%.
Matthew Ward (11:54.628)
You.
Matt (11:57.908)
is actually historic, like a really historical like English, Irish name. But if you were to put the name Tiffany in like a book, in a period piece with an eye, like why is this stripper in the middle of London? Like, what is she doing?
Chris (12:02.314)
Hmm.
Luciano (12:04.762)
in a period piece? Yeah, nobody will believe it.
What is this stripper from 1985 doing? Look at that dress.
Chris (12:12.441)
The Pox on your house?
Matt (12:17.059)
Yeah. Is it just time travel?
Chris (12:18.132)
What was it?
Matthew Ward (12:19.911)
She's doing really well for herself back then, you know?
Matt (12:24.727)
Yeah.
Chris (12:25.235)
What's the equivalent of a stripper in like 1800s Britain or whatever? Harlot? Henry VIII. Okay.
Luciano (12:32.018)
Cort - a cortisone?
Matt (12:33.826)
I Mistress of the Night? don't know. Or Burlesque,
Luciano (12:38.226)
Mistress of the night. Yeah, but yeah, it's true. Like fiction has this right a lot of the times like if you pick especially nowadays that we don't have to get into it like if you pick this and tell it as a story somewhere else people go that no there's no fucking way. Reality doesn't have to make sense. But fiction does right? Yeah.
Chris (12:42.931)
Mmm. Okay.
Matt (12:45.043)
so -
Matt (13:03.106)
Well, and that's perfectly accurate, right? Cause you know, there's a couple of things I think that's, you I think Chris, we're talking about the pre -show Chris, you mentioned like there's a lack of tech was we'll dig into later, but like, how do you create cool tech in a world where we all know what the tech level rough it should be because this is in the past. and so, but anyway, so like the reason why I break myself is, know, I wanted to talk about like,
Chris (13:13.768)
Hmm.
Luciano (13:19.973)
Yeah.
Chris (13:22.503)
Yeah.
Matt (13:30.626)
Are there things in this movie for you guys that happened in the movie but are more like 2020 or 2015 experiences? Like, like for me, one of the things for me is like the...
Luciano (13:43.728)
Hmm. Well, a woman being a woman being a mechanic.
Matt (13:49.985)
Yeah.
Chris (13:50.37)
a being a pro, like a master driver.
Luciano (13:52.73)
A pro driver? Yeah. Yeah. Talk down at men and talk back. Yeah. I think.
Matt (13:54.538)
Women allowed to talk to men?
Chris (13:56.817)
Mmm. Mmm.
Matthew Ward (14:00.923)
Men with lots of turtlenecks and mustaches. mean, that's, I'm out here and just looking down the street, I can see about eight of those. So that's a very 2024 sort of situation, I would say.
Chris (14:14.237)
I can see through his window, it's densely populated there.
Luciano (14:14.97)
Yeah, but I don't know that that wasn't the case in the 60s too.
Matthew Ward (14:20.034)
Hmmmm
Luciano (14:22.064)
I mean, if we're talking about like waxed handlebar mustaches, then I would be, you know, I would give it to you.
Chris (14:22.909)
Hmm
Matthew Ward (14:27.652)
See, that's what I would be expecting from that time. Like lots of curly mustaches.
Luciano (14:33.638)
Yeah.
Chris (14:34.525)
owner of a food business.
Matthew Ward (14:34.584)
Maybe I'm just living in the 1800s, in the 1960s now, right now. I don't know. Maybe that's just what I'm staring at.
Chris (14:40.889)
That'd be groovy. Groovy, baby.
Matthew Ward (14:42.361)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (14:44.912)
That's the, yeah, that's the, well, late sixties probably.
Chris (14:51.251)
What a time. What a time. Because even if you think of like... go for it.
Luciano (14:52.432)
Yeah, I think maybe that's actually why we were expecting. Like, Austin Powers sort of like painted a picture of like a much more psychedelic 60s than we see in this movie.
Chris (15:01.322)
Hmm.
Chris (15:05.235)
Hmm.
Matt (15:06.444)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (15:06.81)
Roofies? Roofies feel like a very 2015 thing. There's plenty of roofies in there. Our boy Cavill got roofied. Yeah.
Luciano (15:13.712)
Yeah? Yeah?
Matt (15:18.356)
reverse rupees or rupees, rupees.
Chris (15:19.665)
is that is that are we that's just like. Because then because then forward, Rupi would sound like it's intentional. Well.
Luciano (15:20.73)
I mean, not reverse roofing, what? He's just roofing! It's not reverse!
Matt (15:26.826)
No, but like, sorry.
Matthew Ward (15:28.781)
The reverse roofie sounds like you take it from the wrong end.
Luciano (15:32.184)
Yeah, either that or like you were drugged and they like give you an antidote or something.
Matthew Ward (15:37.497)
You go to sit down, she's like, no, sit here. I'm gonna just pass out.
Matt (15:37.954)
Well, you know, I'm like, okay, it's it's
Matt (15:43.81)
Sit up.
Luciano (15:45.51)
Hahaha!
Chris (15:45.802)
Mmm, you don't get to be comfortable. Not with my pillows.
Matthew Ward (15:50.786)
haha
Luciano (15:51.728)
What did you think I was something like that?
Matt (15:51.841)
You're welcome.
Well, was saying like the, the, one of the things I noticed was the, the tech that they did use. Like I understand that, you know, they probably had those little like tracking bugs look like giant transistors, but like just the sheer amount of money, like the trackers they put on them, like they had trackers tailored inside of his jacket, but the size of the tracker didn't match. Now that might just be science or not. But like the tech they were given are like very modern things that
Chris (16:03.815)
Mm -hmm.
Matt (16:24.0)
wouldn't necessarily all exist like the the double back tracker on the missile like that just
Luciano (16:31.534)
Yeah, that one was like, why and how at that distance too like
Chris (16:31.828)
Hmm.
Matt (16:34.881)
Yeah.
Well, cause like, you know, like rocketry, right. I hard to know exactly where rocketry was in the sixties, but like didn't exist in, in world war II, right? Like, so that's why everything was just bombing runs. Cause you couldn't just fire a rocket at people. now this, this feels like, you know, when you see guns used in the wild west, when like everybody fucking hits on every shot is like every, everybody knows guns were horrendously inaccurate. Right.
Luciano (16:50.15)
What? Well.
Luciano (16:57.696)
What?
Well, the problem in Westerns is that they have a six shooter that has somehow 43 bullets, but...
Chris (17:07.955)
Yeah.
Matt (17:08.225)
It's a meningatling chamber on the front of the girl.
Luciano (17:09.806)
Yeah, but not so without going to into actually territory but like the V2 rocket was invented at the end of World War two, right? And it was like pretty advanced like you wouldn't think that they had that technology in the 40s let alone the 60s but still the whole like Sort of like tying together or like linking the two rockets that the two bombs together is a little bit much I agree
Matt (17:19.49)
Correct. Yep.
Chris (17:36.978)
Mm -hmm. Hmm.
Luciano (17:39.794)
And if they say like within, the precision or like with the accuracy of like 10 feet, that was like, okay. Even GPS devices now aren't that accurate, but you know.
Chris (17:42.965)
10 feet.
Luciano (17:53.003)
It's a bit much, but yeah.
Chris (17:53.225)
Hmm It works it worked in that for that scene, but then pardon me wonder is like since we're discussing this if not for that, how the hell would they have pulled that off, but it worked it
Matt (18:06.004)
and just painted themselves into a corner,
Luciano (18:09.137)
Yeah.
Chris (18:09.502)
Hmm.
Matt (18:13.314)
It's fine. was just curious because I think it was interesting to see like that's how they keep the movie feeling modern. You know, again, like, I think you called it already, we kind of joked at it. But like, the treatment of women were essentially treated as equals as much as possible, right? When we know that wouldn't have been the case. But if you were to actually be like, show the treatment of minorities and women in the 60s in a movie, no one will watch it.
Luciano (18:33.82)
Yeah, no one would watch it.
Matthew Ward (18:36.245)
mean they touched on it, right? Like when they are in the clothing place and he's like, no woman would wear that with me. And it's like, listen, the two of them are arguing over her dress.
Chris (18:43.647)
Hmm.
Luciano (18:45.894)
But it was more making fun of the Yankee who thinks like that everybody in communist countries dress up like it's the 30s, right? That was the trope they were making fun of. I think it was on purpose that it was supposed to make Ilya sound like he was gonna be misogynistic. And in the end, was just like, no, you're just trying to dress her as if she's a grandma when that would not be the case.
Matthew Ward (19:10.54)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (19:11.635)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (19:12.752)
Yeah. But I, yeah, it would be a hard sell, right? If they were like, yeah, every time she spoke up and they went, honey, the man are talking, shut up. Like that wouldn't fly too well. Yeah.
Chris (19:21.695)
Mm -hmm
Matt (19:27.595)
Exactly.
Chris (19:29.417)
Like, if it, thank goodness they were a trio, and they're all spies. If Gabby, for some reason, I feel like that's how they would treat, like, someone from, like, a small town who doesn't know anything about the ways of, what is it, spycraft? Mm -hmm. Like, you plebe, you spyplebe.
Luciano (19:46.076)
Spycraft, yes.
Luciano (19:51.772)
It's Pipe Leap.
Matthew Ward (19:52.275)
So...
Chris (19:53.653)
You just let the grown spies talk now.
Matthew Ward (19:58.211)
I think we just found out the sequel title.
Luciano (20:01.144)
Yeah, the man from uncle Spike Lebes. It's better than the title I had for the sequel, which was the man from nephew.
Matthew Ward (20:04.239)
Bye, plebe.
Chris (20:06.663)
airing only on PBS.
Matt (20:09.602)
that tracks.
Chris (20:14.837)
Wait a minute, sounds, legally problematic. Nephew?
Matt (20:15.896)
Yeah, you're the worst.
Luciano (20:17.554)
You
Yes!
Matthew Ward (20:21.594)
I mean, the man from Auntie doesn't sound much better.
Luciano (20:25.283)
Yeah.
Chris (20:25.609)
That sounds like that's got like some Samuel E. Wright who played Sebastian the crab in the Little Mermaid vibes like, de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de
Luciano (20:34.845)
no. What have I done? What have I done?
Matthew Ward (20:39.292)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (20:48.322)
I hate being here and I want to. We're still talking about the movie in the first section where we get to refine whatever we want. Let's 180, 90, 360, maybe not 360.
Luciano (21:03.282)
That's 360 and continue in the same direction.
Matt (21:05.026)
Go right back into it.
Chris (21:06.805)
And then just slowly put your hand on the wheel.
Matt (21:11.754)
Like, you know, let's, let's talk about the kind of thing that kind of most people I think would, talk about when.
Chris (21:17.941)
Whoa, because for a moment I was like, like, did they all
Luciano (21:18.704)
Yeah, he did. Yeah.
Matt (21:22.828)
Damn it.
Matthew Ward (21:22.949)
This is a dramatic pause.
Luciano (21:24.804)
Matt is standing perfectly still.
Chris (21:27.653)
or they're fucking with us because like Matt and Laura had this conversation. We're going to pretend freeze. We're going to like, like, we're to be in sync just to fuck with them. And then they'll just like reasons.
Matt (21:33.59)
He looks froze, he looks mad well. Yeah, because the internet disconnected. I had issues with it.
Luciano (21:33.828)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (21:39.281)
You
Maybe he said something that like the spies were bugging him so they now know. He just didn't happen to notice that giant Russian bug on the side of his desk.
Luciano (21:47.932)
Yeah.
Luciano (21:53.63)
Like, sewn into his t -shirt.
Chris (21:54.259)
Hmm.
Matt (21:54.767)
She like tried to pick each one of these up when I caught her, and that one too.
Chris (22:00.639)
man.
Matt (22:01.046)
I don't know why I keep saying we don't have internet. I guess we don't have internet right now.
Chris (22:02.965)
He hated that joke so much.
Luciano (22:03.335)
No, it happened. It had happened before too. I'm happy that it doesn't stop recording when the host drops.
Chris (22:07.726)
really?
Chris (22:11.125)
true. yeah, wow. That'd be so awkward.
Luciano (22:15.814)
That'd be awful, we'd have to kinda put shit together, that would fucking suck.
Matt (22:15.862)
just kind of watched them really going up to get them. think they were probably scattered. No, I bet you I can watch the video back there. I something follow up.
Chris (22:21.269)
Yeah
I kinda wanna watch Shaun of the Dead.
Matt (22:26.722)
and I'm glad.
Luciano (22:28.316)
Just the whole Cornetto trilogy.
Matthew Ward (22:28.336)
That's a pretty big leap from the man from Uncle.
Chris (22:34.708)
Neto?
Luciano (22:35.846)
That's why it's called Coronado Trilogy.
Matthew Ward (22:38.296)
Actually, Army Hammer would be perfect for a zombie movie.
Matt (22:41.94)
What the fuck? I don't have any internet.
Chris (22:42.261)
Ayy Brains! With a dash of Chianti and a sprinkle of smoked paprika.
Luciano (22:42.702)
Yeah, well, yeah.
Luciano (22:48.991)
yeah, there you go. He could play a young Hannibal Lecter. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (22:52.088)
Animal Lector.
Chris (22:53.853)
Yes, that's his only comeback. Where, meanwhile, Kevin Spacey, he's got nothing. He can't get back in with a Mr. like, my old pick. Like, it won't happen. It just can't. It's like, yeah.
Luciano (23:07.932)
No.
Matthew Ward (23:09.006)
Welcome back.
Matt (23:10.809)
Hello. Can somebody give me a timestamp right now?
Luciano (23:15.57)
We are at 2318.
Matt (23:20.801)
I, mine's back to like the beginning. So I just need that.
Luciano (23:23.11)
Zero? Yeah.
Yeah. Probably, yeah, just go back like a couple of minutes and you'll find.
Matt (23:29.123)
track myself. Yeah, I got my I got my log off time and I got to come in time but now I have to.
Chris (23:29.172)
Whoa, whoa.
Chris (23:32.584)
Bye.
Luciano (23:35.487)
Well, if you need to listen for it, Chris said, did Matt freeze?
Matt (23:40.191)
I heard you guys for like five or ten seconds, it matched freeze and you said we had, Laura and I had a really dumb look on our face or like, and then.
Luciano (23:43.939)
Okay.
Luciano (23:47.908)
No, said you planned it.
Chris (23:48.381)
Not dumb, you planned it.
Matt (23:51.251)
yeah, if only. No, that's fine. I just I need the timestamps so can fucking figure out how the hell to make the edits. OK, I was wandering around a question so I can go back and start that question over. My problem was, as I was wandering into it, it felt like kind of a section section because getting into like the spy convention, I was going to be like, you know, did you like this versus James Bond? I didn't know if I was coming too close to it or not.
Luciano (23:56.786)
Cut. Yeah.
Luciano (24:17.146)
Yeah, it's probably better to you can ask that but in the second section
Matt (24:20.631)
Yeah. Okay. So we need one more thing to talk about in the first section to get us roughly to time.
Luciano (24:28.347)
No.
Chris (24:29.652)
One more thing.
Matt (24:30.435)
Should we talk about the villains?
Chris (24:33.477)
Yes, yeah.
Matthew Ward (24:34.382)
you
Luciano (24:35.537)
Yeah, why not?
Matt (24:35.565)
Yeah, okay, all right, we'll do that.
Alright, I'll count it down for everybody.
Matt (24:48.16)
One, two.
Matt (24:52.771)
So let's go somewhere in a different direction and let's talk about the villains in this movie. The how you say Vinciguerra or the the win wars. I guess maybe the war wins. I don't know if it's reversed in Italian, like it's reversed in French. Yeah. Right. So the war wins.
Chris (24:58.613)
Hmm.
Luciano (25:02.064)
Hey!
Luciano (25:07.389)
It is. It is, yeah.
Matthew Ward (25:09.161)
It is. Romantic languages.
Luciano (25:11.194)
Yeah, they're all like that.
you
Matt (25:16.447)
They are a surprisingly evil organization, team, because
Luciano (25:23.344)
Yeah. Not just that, but they're like gleefully evil, right?
Matt (25:28.259)
They're gleefully evil, but they're surprisingly intelligent. yeah, they're like, they are skeptical as shit when Gabby shows up with her new husband, right? Like they have those guys like fake rob them, which probably played better in someone's brain than actually out on the movie. Yeah.
Luciano (25:32.826)
Yeah. Which is unexpected.
Matthew Ward (25:33.163)
expected.
Luciano (25:42.747)
Yeah.
Chris (25:47.093)
Mm
And who were they being, who were they doing it for? Like, who was that performance for?
Matthew Ward (25:50.568)
Ha!
Luciano (25:51.62)
I thought it was funny. The little, the little like, the little throat punch that he throws without looking, could fucking crack me up.
Matt (25:59.265)
Yeah. Yeah. So, but like, you know, in general, they were skeptical all the way. And like, if Gabby hadn't of, you know, as Waverly said, you had to blow, she had to blow her cover or not blow her cover, like blow those, their cover to continue in the game. Like if she hadn't done it, I'm, we, aren't like they, they knew like as they were talking through it, like that those guys were already completely suspect. And so it like the competency used all the way along was surprising. And
Luciano (26:06.118)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:13.702)
blow their cover. Yeah.
Luciano (26:28.271)
Yes.
Matt (26:29.113)
Even when they lost, like they got outsmarted, but not in a way that made them well, maybe we'll get to that, like almost not dumb. 98 % not dumb.
Luciano (26:36.098)
They got like, yeah, it was more, it wasn't really that they were super dumb and the heroes or like the protagonists were super smart. They were like playing to their strengths while like, you know, they knew that the couple really loved each other even though she was, you know, sleeping around. So he played on it until he got her, which was, it was satisfying, right? That finally happened.
Matt (27:00.941)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (27:04.068)
I was very surprised, pleasantly so, when they find out that the vault was breached and Victoria immediately goes, this motherfucker, because he was a thief, right? He said he was a thief. And normally in a movie like this she'll go, I wonder who could have been, right? And she's like, let's go there right now. Yeah.
Chris (27:16.277)
Mm
Matt (27:23.289)
You
Chris (27:26.068)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (27:26.444)
That was an excellent impression of her though. Fantastic.
Matt (27:29.369)
That's.
Luciano (27:29.5)
Thank you. I practiced from the day I watched the movie until now.
Matthew Ward (27:32.804)
All I could hear was Princess Diana. It was beautiful.
Luciano (27:35.25)
She has a very, very British accent for any Italian woman too.
Chris (27:35.728)
Matt (27:36.185)
Damn.
Matthew Ward (27:37.501)
Sorry.
Matthew Ward (27:40.96)
Hahahaha
Matt (27:41.779)
It's It's fine. None of this makes sense. They have a British guy playing an American, an American playing a Russian.
Luciano (27:45.042)
one of the most painful things, like painful because I, know, because, know, not because they do a bad job, but like Henry Cavill and Jared Harris speaking to each other in the fake American, especially Jared Harris going, you see, like the sixties fucking like a reporter or like, yeah, it was very painful, especially because I'm watching or I just watched the second season of Foundation where he gets to use his regular accent.
Matt (28:00.397)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris (28:01.575)
and and and and and and and
Yes, coming to your life from the BBC.
Matt (28:14.573)
Right, yeah.
Luciano (28:15.332)
It's so jarring to see him go, man, what are you doing now? What the fuck is this? It's so weird.
Matt (28:20.778)
He uses it a lot in the first season of...
of biotin wakes. What is that called? The expanse.
Luciano (28:29.978)
Yes, yes, he does,
Matt (28:31.139)
Yeah. He like, he uses it. he, he's just not exclusive, but he like, he uses it to leverage into the weird like, belters. The first season's okay. Don't watch the rest. Yeah. Yeah. It's cause it's basically, God. Fine. do this. It's the first season is like really, tied to the book and then, And then they get really wild with like how it connects. Like they, start, they start just, they kind of like Game of Thrones where like they just
Chris (28:32.245)
Dang, I really do need to watch that show.
Luciano (28:37.5)
Don't watch it.
Luciano (28:41.222)
Just the first season,
Chris (28:42.879)
Really? Okay.
Luciano (28:49.38)
until the last three episodes.
Matt (28:59.007)
whatever they want. Like they start killing off characters in the show that aren't killed in the book and vice versa and it's just like it's
Chris (29:03.433)
you
Luciano (29:03.666)
Even in the first season, they start changing personalities and other... Never mind. This is not the Expense show. The man from the brother of your father.
Matt (29:06.903)
Yeah. Anyways, we're not talking about that.
We're talking about...
Matt (29:16.79)
Right, then. Ow.
Matthew Ward (29:16.932)
I just think though we just found something out about Luciano and Matt that if we ever needed to stall them so we could find out where their location is and bomb them, we just have to mention the expanse and they're dead.
Chris (29:27.433)
Yes.
Luciano (29:27.442)
I just get us talking about the expense 100%. Yes.
Matt (29:31.897)
There's a reason why this podcast originally started with just the two of us talking about shit.
Luciano (29:34.906)
Yeah, it was just like us having coffee and then us recording us having coffee.
Matthew Ward (29:36.087)
Literally, they'll be like, how we need, we need, we need.
Chris (29:36.457)
But that was still fun.
Mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (29:42.661)
Like literally the Hugh Grant will be there and be like, we need an hour and 45 minutes to find their location. Can you keep them on the phone? I'm like, I got this. Talk about the experience.
Chris (29:43.369)
I
Chris (29:52.969)
You know, the expanse.
Luciano (29:54.106)
You just have to say, you just have to say the expanse, the show, the TV show is better than the books. That's all you have to say. And it's like,
Matt (29:54.233)
Season 1 of The Expanse, Episode 1.
Chris (30:02.89)
Whoa.
Matt (30:04.565)
We'll fight you. But we're to talk about The Man from Unkle. This is a good movie and we should continue talking about it. We're talking about the Vinci Guerra, the evil crew, the villains and how effectively villainous they were. Like, Kristy, how did you feel about their villainry? Yeah, it works.
Luciano (30:09.266)
Hahaha!
Chris (30:10.505)
Yeah.
villains.
Luciano (30:16.635)
Yeah.
Chris (30:21.333)
They're villainy, they're villainous escapades, villainy escapades. Yeah, so.
I they hired a really good HR director and they managed to source a hench legion and other soldiers and stuff, right? Like they covered all the components of a successful villain corp or crime organization. Got their engineers for their vehicles.
Matthew Ward (30:44.995)
Okay.
Matt (30:55.959)
Right. Yeah.
Chris (30:58.663)
and their weapon and like, well, arms master, quarter master. had that. And then you totally had your master strategist slash co -founder slash CEO and that's strategist and that's like Victoria straight up and down. And that leaves you with one Alex Vincigara who, I mean, in pre -show we referred to him as the mustache. so,
Matt (31:12.345)
strategist.
Matthew Ward (31:23.341)
Mm.
Chris (31:28.145)
What do you, like how do you, how do you, how do you not include him? I'll tell you why. He's, he's up to something.
Luciano (31:37.008)
Yeah, I agree. even the rank and file weren't like complete buffoons. I mean, they kind of got, you know, given the run around by two very well -trained agents, right? But it wasn't like they were like stormtrooping around doing shit, right? They even get Ilya's boat to sink, right?
Matt (31:50.083)
Yeah.
Matt (31:59.939)
Yeah. Yeah. I don't, they don't seem like actively bad at their jobs. Like most, most filling guards are.
Chris (32:00.457)
True, they actually got it.
Luciano (32:05.763)
Yeah, I love that scene too, like just Harry Cavill or like Solo just having the time of his life in the truck and just watching almost like a Benny Hill scene where the boat goes one way and the boat goes the other way. Yeah, it's a. Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (32:07.413)
Thank
Chris (32:17.61)
Yep, then it's burst into flames like shit. They actually connected they actually connected
Matt (32:23.683)
Yeah, he's dead. Matt, before we jump off this topic and get into the biggest plot hole I've ever seen in my entire life. Do you have any thoughts on the villainry? Villainy. What? Villainry. Yeah.
Luciano (32:35.206)
The villainy.
Matthew Ward (32:36.537)
The villains? Yeah, no, I mean, you guys kind of covered it. would say that I just thought I felt like the one guy like the the Playboy dude was a little underused. I think he got a little overshadowed by just like the sheer awesomeness of his wife. Like she was just like she and they even said it right in the beginning. They're like, this girl's got this shit like she's she's the real brains. And that really came across that guy was just
Chris (32:36.693)
Fability!
Luciano (32:52.069)
Yeah.
Luciano (33:00.262)
Yeah.
Chris (33:00.521)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (33:04.922)
useless. She's like, yeah, here you can go be the decoy. Go just drive this all -terrain vehicle and do that. And you know, he was like, should I kill her? And she's like, yes. And then he didn't. And then he just drove away because he's useless. And he's like, what's happening?
Matt (33:17.081)
Yeah, 100%.
Chris (33:20.731)
That's what happens when you marry down.
Matthew Ward (33:22.762)
Somehow he thought he could escape, like this guy's a race car driver, somehow he thought he could escape through a river. Like he's like, we'll just, we're going, we don't need roads or towels. And he just goes.
Luciano (33:23.036)
Well, you
Chris (33:26.516)
Yeah.
Luciano (33:32.728)
hahahaha
Chris (33:32.837)
where we're going. We don't need physics or carburetor logic. We don't need those.
Matt (33:38.873)
But I'm also just gonna drive over one river one time and I'll get rid of everybody first year.
Matthew Ward (33:42.381)
Admit it, like...
Chris (33:44.244)
Yeah.
Luciano (33:44.624)
Listen, he got some good punches in when they finally caught up to him. I didn't expect that.
Matthew Ward (33:51.956)
That's true. Until he took a motorcycle to the face, which was just the most awkward. Just looked like something Lou Ferrigno would do in the Hulk series. Just like, it's smacking away.
Luciano (33:55.6)
Well, I'm yeah, yeah. Fucking.
Chris (33:59.369)
My only weakness!
Matt (34:02.616)
My only weakness is Eurocurses.
Luciano (34:04.754)
I 100 % thought he was going to jump back on the motorcycle and just run him over. was, nope, I'm just going to toss it. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (34:12.829)
No, you just go Hulk, Hulk slash it, smash it in your face.
Chris (34:14.378)
Yes.
Yes. Here, take this. Take my bad writing, motorcycle in the face.
Matthew Ward (34:20.19)
I did want to put a special shout out to the the torture Nazi guy. That was a great scene. That was a great scene. Loved that scene. That was awesome.
Luciano (34:28.933)
Uncle Rudy.
Chris (34:29.031)
Uncle Rudy?
Matt (34:29.113)
Uncle Rudy.
Chris (34:34.441)
He fixed the glitch.
Luciano (34:35.683)
I really love that he goes like, are two types of torture. One is for extracting information and one is for its own sake. And you can see the glee in his face. He's like, I get to do what I like.
Matthew Ward (34:36.029)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (34:46.418)
I also, afterwards he's like, you don't have to torture me, I'll just tell you everything.
Chris (34:46.701)
You
Luciano (34:50.168)
Yeah, that was... Yeah, it was so funny and like unexpected because you expect that you can do anything you want to me I'll never crack. No, no, no, no, don't. I'll say I'll testify. I'll sign things. Yeah.
Chris (34:50.505)
That was, it was so, it was like.
Matthew Ward (35:00.989)
I'll tell people. Yeah.
Matt (35:02.969)
Whatever you want
Chris (35:03.347)
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, he's fully, and like usually when people are like, I'll talk, I'll talk, just don't hurt me. And then whoever is in charge of the torture just does something to them anyway. Rudy was wonderful admission of cooperation. Like I believed him, he was ready to do it and he did it. And it felt so complete. Like he gave you an answer. You didn't think he was holding out. didn't have to.
Luciano (35:22.843)
Yeah.
Luciano (35:31.304)
Yeah
Chris (35:32.095)
he's like, yeah, and they wear this on Sundays when they go here, there and there. And this is what they really like of that restaurant that you like anyway.
Luciano (35:36.78)
Yeah.
He just fucking spilled the whole beans, right? And I walk outside, I wonder if I should, if I bring him back, they're just gonna give him, he's like fucking on fire in the background.
Matt (35:42.403)
Yeah, yeah, everything.
Chris (35:42.804)
Yep.
Chris (35:51.699)
Yeah, yeah. Poor Rudy, in offense, but no. Yes, true.
Matt (35:54.521)
Fire's always funny. Yeah, fuck him. He was a Nazi. Let's get to the big plot hole.
Luciano (35:56.498)
Yeah.
Chris (36:02.719)
you
Matt (36:03.703)
All right, let's be honest, there's no plot holes. The story is, yeah, the story is a, it's a paint by numbers spy movie. And you know, they do a good job to probably use twists in a way to distract us from big holes by just, know, like, well, okay. Cause the thing is the spot, this movie does the thing where it's a first year, your expectations by having Gabby give up her two accomplices. They've, they've worked together and now they're all friends.
Luciano (36:05.614)
Yeah, the plot holes in this podcast that there's no plot hole. Yes.
Chris (36:21.554)
boy.
Luciano (36:33.478)
Whoa, spoilers!
Matt (36:33.773)
She gets the
Chris (36:35.829)
Well, 2015, 2015.
Matthew Ward (36:37.116)
Can there really be 2015?
Matt (36:38.611)
I think we're past there.
Matthew Ward (36:41.776)
This is what happened in the movie and a year later, Donald Trump.
Matt (36:45.709)
That's fair. It hurts, but fair. No, excuse me. My point is with this movie is it is trying to do these things, but essentially it's just one block of, yeah, this is fun. This is what I expected. You know, they're doing the spy things. They did the spy things. The spy things are done and they're all best friends. they got it together in a way.
Luciano (36:46.081)
wow. I forgot about that. Oof. Oof.
Matt (37:14.729)
and Lionel Wigram. That's the other screenplay writer. I don't know. Not important. He's alive. That's all I know. Definitely alive.
Luciano (37:26.177)
Hahaha
Chris (37:27.444)
works.
Matt (37:28.237)
But I'll finish this point because I'm rambling a bit, like the idea that he just wrote a simple story, it's, you know, doesn't do much and there's no holes in it because it's, it's, it's paint by numbers, right? So what I kind of want to talk about is because spy movies are kind of a big thing. James Bond, we haven't done the comparison to it yet. We can in this section where we want to, but how is this, how does this stack up in the rank of spy movies for you guys?
Luciano (37:38.651)
Yeah.
Luciano (37:56.892)
That's a good question. I think so I am going to just like preface this by saying that I did like this movie and we're going to get to the ratings at the end. I think the fact that it kept that they kept it somewhat maybe believable is not the word, but I'm going to go with it. I think it detracts a little bit of the fun of the movie because we at least I go to watch something like a James Bond movie.
Especially like the really zany like Roger Moore or a Tim Tate doll, Tim Tate doll in the movies or shit. But like, you know what I mean? Like the really zany weird ones. You go to see, okay, so let me get this straight. He's driving this car and then he pulls this button and the car becomes a plane and then dresses him up as a doll that has like machine guns for eyes. You want to see the crazy a little bit and see how they justify it. And.
I it's not that I necessarily think this movie would have been better this way, but they did play it safe. I guess is what I'm trying to say. So. Yeah.
Matt (39:02.658)
Right. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (39:04.79)
Yeah, I'd agree with that. I would say that's pretty dead on. But I mean, James Bond's a hard comparison because like you could look at James Bond in general and go from like crazy zany Pierce Brosnan, know, George Lazenby. Like, let's not forget the Lazenby. The cravat.
Luciano (39:19.186)
Yeah, driving a car. George Lazubia. always remember, I'm to say Pierce Brosnan, I always remember him driving that Aston Martin in the ice and the car and like physics stops working on that car for two seconds so he can turn it around 180 degrees and continue. I'm like, that's not how anything works.
Chris (39:22.282)
Heh heh.
Chris (39:32.01)
Yes.
Matthew Ward (39:39.083)
Yeah. That's, that's what bugs you. Not the like weird parachute scene where he's like clearly on a green screen.
Luciano (39:45.178)
No, yeah, no, all of it. like that scene, that scene I remember being in the theater and going, what? Like, what the fuck? Yeah.
Chris (39:52.984)
And we paid to see that. We we we forked over the ducats.
Matthew Ward (39:54.442)
Yeah!
Matt (39:56.035)
We're dead.
Matthew Ward (39:58.998)
Or Daniel Craig, right? Like then you've got the more serious like hate the world just full -on action, man
Luciano (40:07.474)
ones actually.
Chris (40:11.402)
There wasn't enough swab and debonair in the air, whereas the previous...
Luciano (40:15.536)
Yeah, it's more of an action movie, Like Casino Royale. I didn't even watch Skyfall or whatever the other one is. But Casino Royale is a good action movie, just not a good James Bond movie, at least for me.
Matthew Ward (40:18.379)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (40:26.208)
Hmm. but yeah, like that's the thing. So I mean, I, I agree with that. felt like it was weird cause it kind of tried to strike a balance between like Tinker Taylor's soldier spy and like a James Bond kind of action thing. And it kind of created this weird hybrid that sort of worked sort of didn't, it wasn't offensive in any way. Like Tinker Taylor, soldier spy was great.
Chris (40:37.608)
-huh.
Luciano (40:38.181)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (40:52.832)
but it also felt lot like Gary Oldman doing his taxes in an English accent. didn't really, with, well, his normal accent, like it didn't really, you got into it you're like, this is gonna be an amazing spy movie and it's just this old guy talking to other old guys about stuff. And I'm like, okay, that's good. Yeah, exactly. And I mean, for a Guy Ritchie movie too, there was not also not a lot of like,
Matt (40:57.335)
Right. Yeah.
Luciano (40:58.023)
Hahaha
Chris (41:00.213)
Stopped.
Matt (41:09.826)
Yeah.
Luciano (41:10.756)
Especially being a Guy Ritchie movie, right?
Chris (41:13.173)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (41:17.161)
violent like there wasn't explicit violence in the same way that he usually does so I was a little surprised by that too
Luciano (41:19.932)
True, yeah.
Matt (41:23.513)
Yeah, it was tame by his standards.
Luciano (41:26.667)
yeah.
Chris (41:28.329)
Michael K.
Matthew Ward (41:29.736)
Although he did do Aladdin, so.
Luciano (41:30.328)
Hahaha
Chris (41:32.725)
Who did Aladdin?
Matthew Ward (41:33.768)
Guy Ritchie.
Matt (41:34.701)
He also did the movie, remake of the movie with Madonna when they were married. So he made some. Yeah. Is it?
Luciano (41:39.238)
Yeah, but that's a different thing, right? Yeah, pleasing the little missus. That's what he did.
Chris (41:39.336)
on the island or something?
Matthew Ward (41:42.814)
Some people should have got punched in the face in that one too.
Chris (41:46.581)
Mmm.
Matt (41:47.821)
But so, okay.
Matt (41:52.257)
Yeah, Madonna. Dick Tracy. I'm trying to type out. I'm trying to segue from Madonna back into this movie. So Madonna to Dick Tracy to spy movies. mean, I love the Bond movies. think I think the 90s ones with Pierce Brosnan are probably the most hilarious ones to watch.
Luciano (41:52.262)
What do you think, Matt?
Chris (41:59.071)
Dick Tracy, Warren.
Luciano (42:11.718)
Well, you know...
Chris (42:12.575)
We should test that. We should test that theory sometime. True.
Matt (42:14.187)
I just enjoy them so much. I don't know if it's the one where the news media is creating the news. That's an entire flatline.
Matthew Ward (42:19.728)
you
Luciano (42:25.426)
Yeah, well that became reality in 2016.
Matt (42:32.237)
guess, but like, I don't know if that's my favorite or the one where like, I mean, just Christmas Jones and you say more. Like, and there's Sean Bean, like it's just, yeah, that's, that's all it's like, it's just.
Luciano (42:41.672)
Yeah.
Chris (42:41.749)
Christmas is.
Matthew Ward (42:43.23)
Zenya on the top.
Luciano (42:47.206)
Does Sean Bean die in that movie? Yeah, okay. So all is right in the world. No, there are a couple of where he doesn't. yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of Brazil, you're talking about the crazy ones. To me, Moonraker is the craziest one because I'm from Brazil and the fact that he goes from Rio to the Amazon in like two hours, I'm like fucking teleported maybe.
Chris (42:49.375)
Sean Bean? Yes.
Matt (42:49.665)
Of course. Yeah. He gets he gets a satellite dropped on him in Brazil, I believe.
Matthew Ward (42:50.676)
Sean Bean
Chris (42:58.101)
Sean Bean's job is to die as Sean Bean. That stuff is massive.
Chris (43:08.767)
Hmm.
Matt (43:09.923)
the best.
Matthew Ward (43:15.756)
Lasers. That's all I can say about that one. Laser fight.
Luciano (43:16.874)
Yeah. No, no, it's not the only problem, but it is glaring because you go like, what is where is he in Rio that looks like the fucking jungle?
Matt (43:17.069)
That's the problem with Moonbreaker. That's the only...
Matt (43:27.149)
Honestly, I was fine with it. Like, yeah, it's probably true. Brazil's tiny.
Chris (43:31.093)
I need to rewatch Moonraker now.
Luciano (43:31.506)
Yeah, famously.
Matt (43:34.745)
Famously, Danny. Yeah. So, yeah. So we were, we were, if we were to dive outside of the bond, the obvious bond comparisons, and maybe, I mean, maybe you avoid it or you go to, the 20, 23 remake of the man from uncle, I think it was called the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare. If I'm not mistaken.
Chris (43:34.919)
Everything is just a simple jaunt.
Luciano (43:38.61)
I hop in the skip, right?
Chris (43:40.725)
That's right, a saunter.
Matthew Ward (43:57.614)
yeah.
Luciano (43:57.624)
Yeah
Chris (43:58.102)
I thought you were talking about Argyle.
Matt (44:01.369)
No, no, no, we have to the same director to make it proper What's this thing guy Richie has shown himself to have favorites? I mean once he got his hooks and Hugh Grant he's used them like pretty much everything he's done since but but like Yeah, and so it's like is it is a case of Like other better spy movies like what's what was I guess maybe the very way to put is like what's the key ingredients for you to make it?
Luciano (44:03.794)
A good chunk of the cast and the crew are in the same movie.
Chris (44:11.029)
Yes.
Chris (44:15.912)
Yeah.
Luciano (44:16.1)
Yeah. Harry Cavill too.
Matthew Ward (44:27.504)
Ooh, Mission Impossible style vignettes. know, doves flying out of things and like Mexican dancing and Tiny Tom Cruise. Like, I mean, come on. Ninja Kicks and motorbikes and...
Matt (44:30.541)
the best kind of spine will.
Luciano (44:32.672)
good question.
Chris (44:43.025)
Chris (44:49.915)
I her!
Matthew Ward (44:54.827)
I really just am like, I don't know. think after the first Mission Impossible, the first Mission Impossible I thought was great. Then after that, they were kind of like, what's happening here? It looked like a Coca -Cola commercial. It was very strange. Or Kaluah.
Matt (44:55.043)
So you just.
Luciano (45:06.608)
I don't know. I like the recent ones except for the very last one because that one is bullshit. Yeah, but.
Matt (45:09.827)
The obvious one. I know. But like, so, so in, those movies, you know, we have a lot of gadgetry, generally in the Mission Impossible movies. They love their face masks and face masks, you have a lot of galavanting across the world, lots of locations. And, and you have, I mean, I think Mission Impossible's replaced spying with hacking.
Matthew Ward (45:18.616)
Mm.
Chris (45:19.093)
Yeah.
Luciano (45:19.366)
Yeah.
Yeah
Chris (45:22.057)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (45:30.387)
Yes. Globetrotting.
Luciano (45:30.811)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (45:30.852)
Yeah.
Matt (45:38.425)
because it's just easier to be like, I don't know, no, no, it's like if it does work, they hack this, they hack that. But like they have spying or hacking. Like to me, think, I don't think you have to put it in a period piece, but it certainly makes it lot easier to just not have to worry about the troubles of modern technology. Like, you know, when you say diapers in your house and your phone, like here's 40 ,000 advertisements on diapers. Don't worry, we weren't listening. You know, like.
Matthew Ward (45:38.882)
You
Luciano (45:39.462)
Yep.
Yeah.
Luciano (45:56.102)
Technology? Yeah.
Matthew Ward (46:04.063)
Hahaha!
Matt (46:07.576)
Technology is hard to defeat in the spy world in 2024.
Luciano (46:12.592)
Yeah, it it becomes but that's the thing, right? The whole spiel or the whole thing with Austin Powers was how much of a fish out of water he was. Him and Dr. Evil, right? That's the whole thing. But I think it's there's a there's also a certain charm which Men of Uncle kind of touches on, but also kind of skirts, which is the whole Cold War thing. It was the only
Chris (46:13.161)
Unless you're Austin Powers.
Luciano (46:40.464)
Like the rivalry between the US and the Soviet Union in spy movies was probably the only, I guess, good thing to come out of the Cold War, you could say. And nowadays it's hard, right? Because now there's not, you can't really have like a, this is the enemy, right? Because there's always like a touchy thing, which is a good thing for society, but bad for the movies is what I'm saying.
Matt (47:06.711)
Yeah, the new Top Gun movie. No one ever names the enemy. Still in theaters. Don't worry. You can pick it up. No, god damn it.
Luciano (47:10.096)
I have to go watch it actually. Like you could never have a, of course not, of course not. You could never have like the first Top Gun movie now and then have hot shots having, you know, making fun of them and them showing the enemy's names on their helmets, be tabooly and like you never fly today.
Chris (47:11.987)
still haven't seen it because people are killing what the fuck it's still in the theaters maverick I know shit man
Matt (47:27.651)
Part two. Yeah.
Matt (47:36.161)
I mean, we were still doing that in, you know, DMR, world police, but after that we slowed down, guess. Yeah, that's not no. Yeah, that's I mean, that's that's that's racist as fuck. And so we're trying to not be racist as fuck anymore with mixed results.
Luciano (47:39.802)
Yeah, yeah. You know like tabbouleh habibi sfihah like no you did never never happen. Yeah. yeah yeah.
Chris (47:46.933)
Dirk, what's it? Dirkadurkka? Dirkadurkka.
Durkha? Durkha.
Luciano (47:57.668)
Yeah, so I think you're right. It's better if you could do it in a...
Chris (47:59.144)
No we're not.
Matt (48:03.757)
Right, not because of your left, your racism. That's not what we're saying.
Luciano (48:05.796)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not that I'm saying there is a certain charm about being in the past, not just because of the whole black and white us versus them thing, but like the technology is easier to deal with too. There's no, nobody like, it's not like everybody has a camera in their pocket and because then you go.
Chris (48:06.697)
Good.
Matt (48:20.121)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (48:25.891)
Yeah. So you can't, you're not just sitting in the whole time. You're like, why don't you just call him, call him, text them, track them.
Luciano (48:31.972)
Yeah, no, just that. It's never gonna be like, the AI has taken over the whole internet and now they know where you are. And they show some weird images on the TV when they're watching you. Not talking about a specific movie here at all.
Chris (48:32.885)
It's a no.
Matthew Ward (48:35.482)
You know what's funny? They also... They missed... I missed also like this one could have used some of the like disguises and nose prosthetics that seem to be really prominent in all spy movies. Like just throwing on a fake face and like passing yourself off as someone else. Or in...
Matt (48:45.688)
No, God no.
Luciano (48:56.367)
Hmm.
Matt (49:00.217)
I mean, they did do... Yeah.
Matthew Ward (49:02.066)
in one famous James Bond movie which shall not be named as I name it now, Diamonds Are Forever, where he makes out with himself in a corner and fools everybody. Wow, whoever that guy is making out with has some hairy knuckles.
Luciano (49:14.72)
Yeah.
Chris (49:14.82)
Diamond bar forever
Matt (49:19.143)
Yeah.
Luciano (49:19.75)
Hey, listen, it's the current year, we don't judge.
Matt (49:24.121)
I do think you bring up an interesting point. I think a good spy movie needs a little bit of comedy in it just to break the tension. And the man from Uncle does it in what's probably a decent way in 2015, looking back on it, maybe a little overplayed, but it was charming. like, you know, like you said, like the Uncle Rudy thing, like them trying to figure out what to do with him and he, you know, lights on fire. That's kind of funny.
Luciano (49:31.836)
Yeah.
Luciano (49:41.436)
Yeah.
Luciano (49:47.184)
Yeah, that's also very like, like, outright comedy thing, right? Like I could see that scene playing in like, Get Smart, for example.
Chris (49:48.894)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (49:57.373)
Yes. Good call.
Matthew Ward (49:57.98)
Yeah.
Luciano (49:59.578)
Yeah, yeah, and I like my favorite comedy scene was the the kiss like the slap I was like, what is he? Why is he doing calisthenics behind that guy? And he's fucking slaps him and he just stands like the whole thing was so out of nowhere I was like what the fuck is happening?
Chris (50:06.568)
Hahaha
Chris (50:18.751)
Like, you would have been able to, like the amount of wind he was generating must have disturbed him, just like, okay, he's that good of a spy. Not even his wind is detectable.
Luciano (50:22.93)
The whole thing, yeah.
Matt (50:24.547)
Yeah
Luciano (50:29.594)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (50:31.134)
It be amazing if he just turned around at the right time, just got slapped in the face and nothing else happened.
Luciano (50:34.458)
In the face, yeah.
Chris (50:35.155)
Yeah. You moved. You moved. Yeah.
Matt (50:35.289)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (50:37.24)
Luciano (50:39.406)
Suka, bled, you're not supposed to turn! Yeah, that...
Matthew Ward (50:42.069)
Hahahaha
Matt (50:43.961)
must not touch 20 minutes.
Matthew Ward (50:46.311)
Good.
Luciano (50:46.332)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (50:46.485)
Now 74.
Matt (50:51.865)
no, I, like, think that's, that's the interesting thing, right? It's like a good, I think the reason why this movie is fun, even though the story is safe is that it hits all the right notes on a good spy movie. You do some spying, you do some infiltrating, you do some action and you do some, like, it doesn't have to be like, it always ends up being like sexy. I'm going to bang all the people, but it's. Yeah.
Luciano (51:12.868)
yeah it was surprising that that wasn't the case like there was one or two scenes where that is but it's very like light and there's there's no zinni on the top like no she didn't she didn't try she didn't try to kill him with his her ties
Matt (51:19.191)
It's one person who does that, but it's like...
Yeah, but it's like... well...
Matthew Ward (51:24.163)
I -I don't know... ...about one scene.
Matthew Ward (51:31.394)
No, but they did trash that room pretty good, I gotta say.
Matt (51:31.566)
Yeah.
Luciano (51:34.775)
Fair, fair.
Chris (51:36.189)
Even the maid was like, this again. Yeah, this again. And then off she went. She's like, you know what?
Luciano (51:38.699)
No, it's just like, she's like, fuck this, I'm out. Yeah.
Matt (51:44.707)
But like, so like all those things I think make, make, that's why it's a fun movie is because you're taking all the best parts of a spy movie and weaving through the whole like milky, milquetoast story. So like the story is inoffensive. It's like, this is a weird, me on this one. Everyone paints their house white nowadays. So anybody who moves in can put whatever they want in it. It feels like their own space. We don't have to repaint the walls because painting is shitty. So this is what this movie feels like. It took the white wall paint of stories.
Luciano (51:51.836)
Yeah.
Luciano (52:07.462)
Right.
Luciano (52:14.597)
Hmm
Matt (52:14.829)
And then added all the cool features and pieces to make. Yeah. Yeah. A red leather couch for reasons no one understand in the corner. So my works, so my works. Yeah.
Luciano (52:17.904)
I got a little painting here, a little knickknack there. Yeah, that's a good analogy. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, and it works, right? Yeah. I also think a lot of it is owed to, and this is obviously direction as well, like the interactions between Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill are just chef's kiss. They both have such good comedic timing.
Matthew Ward (52:22.886)
Thank you.
Luciano (52:46.322)
with an Army Hammer playing, like, yes, he's a piece of shit person, but like, he was so good in this. Like, he was playing the straight man to a T and being like funny when he needed to be and playing off of Henry Cavill just being a douche the whole time. I think a lot of, at least my enjoyment of the movie was them kind of like playing off of each other like that. So that 100 % helps. Cause if they were stilted, in my opinion, Army Hammer's like, you
Ilya and Gabi had no fucking chemistry and was super forced for me. That whole, they're like, ooh, I'm getting romantic. They completely came out of nowhere for me, made no sense.
Matt (53:19.73)
Matt (53:26.883)
Well, listen, I'd love to hear a rebuttal. Other than that, rebuke his statement.
Luciano (53:28.518)
for me.
Chris (53:33.053)
REBUE!
Matthew Ward (53:33.136)
About their chemistry?
Matt (53:35.575)
About no, yeah, the lack of chemistry.
Matthew Ward (53:39.265)
I mean, I didn't think it came out of nowhere. I kind of got that feeling and vibe from the two of them.
Matt (53:42.349)
You know what? No. Chris, rebuke is stafend.
Chris (53:46.813)
Rebuke both of your statements in the name of the Lord So
Matthew Ward (53:47.843)
that's what you were looking for. Yeah, no, I was like, no I could see it.
Luciano (53:51.058)
You're looking for a Spencer here. You're not going to get one.
Matt (53:51.225)
Thank you.
Luciano (53:56.666)
Yeah. He's looking for a fuck you Luciano, you're wrong.
Chris (53:58.773)
I'll tell you right...
Matt (53:59.107)
Hahaha!
Matthew Ward (54:01.827)
They beat each other up. There was violence. Sexy violence.
Matt (54:04.153)
God damn it, New Spencer, you got one job.
Chris (54:06.837)
But we all know that we all know that the shippers really want Really want and are clamoring for Napoleon and Ilya to just bury just just fuck already Napoleon Napoleon Napoleon Okay, yeah
Luciano (54:06.928)
Hahaha
Luciano (54:18.347)
Napolia. Napolia. No. Yeah, of course, the departmental name. You have to have one.
Matt (54:24.429)
Yeah. Let's not get confusing at all. think we should just definitely stick with that version.
Luciano (54:27.95)
Of course, yeah.
Chris (54:28.851)
Yeah, Vinny, Vinny, Vici. they, they should just get a room and just like bang it out. It just like, and in a way that end scene when they fit it, when they burned the, the micro fish, I think if you, you, I, if I may be so bold, they burned it, they burned that bitch to a tee until it was golden crispy. And then they had a drink to, to, to cap it off. Okay. But then like, I feel like
Matthew Ward (54:37.698)
Okay.
Luciano (54:42.268)
Hahaha
Tobacco fish.
Chris (54:58.449)
Even though just because Solo gives Ilya his dad, like finds and returns his dad's watch, I think they'll always wanna know who would win. And that's why he's like, do you wanna finish what we started? cause when that fight was broken up, like Ilya had him probably could have snapped his neck. like, so like, is that a one scenario? That was, but I guess like best of three, you know?
Luciano (55:16.219)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (55:25.274)
Listen, judging from Ilya's track record, on, totally depends on like choice of battlefield. If they're fighting in a men's room,
Ilia's got this, hands down. He's 2 -0 in men's rooms. I'm just saying that right now. He's, he, yeah, yeah.
Chris (55:34.613)
True. Yeah. He's used to the stank.
Luciano (55:36.988)
True.
I it's more than two, because the second fight, was one for three, and they allegedly got all sent to the hospital.
Matthew Ward (55:45.429)
Yeah!
Matthew Ward (55:49.739)
So yeah, just don't try to take the man in the bathroom, I'm just saying.
Luciano (55:53.174)
He's in his element when he's around some urinals.
Matthew Ward (55:55.209)
Yeah.
Chris (55:58.513)
I was gonna say like a sauna, but that's still very, that's still very tiled and
Luciano (56:04.678)
No, it's a bathroom adjacent.
Matthew Ward (56:05.395)
No, that's Viggo Mortison's, that's Viggo Mortison's ground.
Chris (56:09.237)
True, true, true, true, true. Dangling, swangling. What about... Nah, you're getting killed. You're getting sliced, diced, and Julietted.
Matthew Ward (56:14.133)
Towels, no towels, he doesn't matter. He'll take you.
Yeah. Aragon, you don't try to fight Aragon in a sauna. That's just well known.
Luciano (56:25.243)
No, you don't.
Chris (56:25.373)
A Napoleon environment could either be a boudoir or a cafe. That feels, cause like, yep. He got the upper leg.
Matthew Ward (56:30.823)
Hmm something where he's in a robe that's basically that's he's got it the inner robe
Luciano (56:31.621)
Yeah.
Luciano (56:36.966)
Yeah, like a a gentleman's club where he's like in the road smoking a cigar drinking whiskey your dad if you find him there. Yeah, there you go. A barber shop. Business in the front and party in the back. Is that what you're saying? It's the mullet of businesses.
Matthew Ward (56:43.303)
Yeah. Nowhere.
Chris (56:43.485)
or a hair club for men.
Chris (56:48.681)
Well, yes, but I'm talking about, okay, it's a barber shop in the front and then a hair club that deals with that. And then in the back, you pull a lever and party in the back is where the folks with alopecia, well, the mullet of business is when you pull that lever, the fake panel slides apart. And then that's when you enter to get a drink and spend some time with folks who suffer or rather survive with alopecia.
Matt (56:49.485)
No.
Matthew Ward (57:03.017)
You
Matt (57:03.043)
Yeah.
Luciano (57:16.956)
Jesus.
Matt (57:16.985)
So it's the business and mullet is what we've come to here. Great. I don't know how we got here and that's not important, but where we can go from here is continuing on obviously fun questions. That's fun question to give fun answers about because that's clearly what happened here. I got an easy question for you. Alexander, Vinci Guerra, the husband of the evil corporation.
Matthew Ward (57:20.477)
Yes.
Luciano (57:20.497)
Yeah.
Chris (57:20.585)
Yes?
Luciano (57:23.236)
I mean, but.
Chris (57:29.365)
continue.
Luciano (57:42.534)
Hmm.
Matt (57:44.994)
How? Explain to me how he is not... Omo Bifistrello
Matthew Ward (57:45.343)
Ha
Chris (57:52.597)
What is that? What are you saying to me?
Matt (57:55.499)
I can't even! One more... PepeStrelo.
Matthew Ward (57:56.645)
PP what?
Bis bis wieder da!
Luciano (58:00.356)
That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Chris (58:01.161)
Okay, come again this time in my ear.
Matt (58:01.889)
Yeah, I gotta roll my arse. One more pipistarello.
Matthew Ward (58:04.358)
It's.
Luciano (58:04.543)
Come again this time in my year. You want me to do it?
Matthew Ward (58:08.75)
Ha!
Chris (58:08.987)
you got the flit, got that twang on it.
Matt (58:11.841)
Well, yeah, yeah, roll your professional, please.
Luciano (58:14.33)
Yeah, it's il uomo pipistrello.
Matt (58:18.061)
Thank you. Italian Batman, for those who don't speak Italian. How, how is he not Italian Batman? Cause by all marks, money, he's got a little bit of a crazy streak. You know, that's all I really got, but you fill in the rest.
Luciano (58:20.518)
Yeah
Matthew Ward (58:35.883)
He literally looks like Bruce Wayne's disguise that he would go to where he would call himself matches Malone. He's got the bad mustache and everywhere. He's basically matches Malone.
Chris (58:41.204)
Yes.
Matt (58:42.329)
Hahaha
Chris (58:45.909)
Hmm.
Luciano (58:46.526)
Yeah, it feels like, you know, he's Bruce Wayne, like, you know, Brad Pitt is in his Italian, Italian in Inglourious Basterds. I'm Italian. Buongiorno. How is he not? Yeah, Grazzi, Grazzi.
Matthew Ward (58:59.694)
Yeah.
Chris (59:03.017)
Yeah, or like...
Matthew Ward (59:06.384)
Gratsi!
Chris (59:12.404)
Mmm.
Luciano (59:12.964)
yeah yeah damn he's even married he's even married to cat woman if we're honest here or talia or talia i'll go one or the other
Matthew Ward (59:13.08)
Gratsy.
how is he not Batman?
Matthew Ward (59:24.141)
Yeah!
Chris (59:26.641)
yeah, Selena Kyle or Tyler.
Matthew Ward (59:28.39)
Yeah, I would say Mortalia Algul. She's got like some vicious streak to her.
Luciano (59:30.168)
It's more taliyahogul, I agree. She's not, yeah. Damn.
Chris (59:35.007)
It makes sense though.
Matthew Ward (59:35.065)
Yeah, no, he kinda... He's just... He is the Pee Pee Strello? Pee Pee Strello? Pee Pee Jello? What are we talking about here?
Luciano (59:36.912)
He kind of is. He kind of is, yeah.
Matt (59:40.161)
Hey man, I said... not... You are my pipiestrello.
Chris (59:46.197)
Allow me to rebuke both of them statements.
Luciano (59:48.402)
That name will never not be funny.
Chris (59:53.351)
And yet the pivot with the key word of rebuke is upon you. So the reason why he's not Batman is because Batman loves being in control. And he controlled his destiny by both mastering his mind and then body and then will and blah, blah. But Alex is not Batman because he enjoys the stream of Playboy.
Matt (01:00:01.529)
Thank you.
Luciano (01:00:06.738)
Mmm.
Chris (01:00:22.495)
too much. And he's too much ineffective, Bruce Wayne, because as a result of all that hubris child channeled into playtime playtime, he left, I mean, I wouldn't say he left, but that leaves, can't think of the word, but Victoria now has to assume master strategist, CEO, mastermind.
Luciano (01:00:23.532)
He's too much Bruce Wayne is what you're saying.
Luciano (01:00:29.563)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:00:48.434)
So what you're saying is Alex Vintiguerra isn't Batman because Victoria is, is what you're saying.
Chris (01:00:51.925)
go on, sorry.
Correct.
Chris (01:01:00.018)
Yes, yes. But only partly. A lot of the Playboy stuff involves physical stuff. So he put all of his effort behind driving, which is just one component of the Batman in order to uphold the Batman mantle. Like crazy driving is enough.
Luciano (01:01:01.951)
it is? Okay.
Matt (01:01:01.996)
I'll allow it.
Luciano (01:01:19.732)
Well, Batman would also know not to drive a fucking jeep through the water.
Chris (01:01:24.11)
Exactly. Thank you for the plus one.
Matt (01:01:24.248)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:01:24.568)
But he could fight. He could fight. He took them both on there. That was surprising. Like he, I was like, that caught me off guard. was like, where'd this come from?
Matt (01:01:26.947)
Hey, good.
Luciano (01:01:30.034)
True,
Matthew Ward (01:01:38.08)
Yeah, well, I mean, there's not many of us that could take a bite to the face.
Chris (01:01:38.195)
Not a bike, a moto -ciclet, sir. A moto -ciclet. A moto -ciclet. Thank you very much. put some, mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:01:46.647)
Hahaha
Matt (01:01:47.843)
Hey, I just want to go back to something very important. If Victoria is the Italian Batman, is it Uomo Pipistrella?
Luciano (01:01:57.606)
Well, not uomo, dona. Donna pipistrella. That's even better! I will just confirm Italian is not my first language or my second or my third.
Matthew Ward (01:01:58.104)
Ooh. Dona.
Matt (01:02:00.345)
thank you. Don't now peepee astral.
Chris (01:02:01.064)
that sounds so good!
Chris (01:02:06.399)
Facts.
Matt (01:02:09.113)
Thank you, that's really important.
Matthew Ward (01:02:12.247)
What?
Chris (01:02:12.757)
Damn. Damn.
Matthew Ward (01:02:14.978)
feel like I'm disrespecting my ancestors too.
Luciano (01:02:17.532)
Dona Pipistrello
Chris (01:02:19.221)
But that's bat, you're saying batwoman.
Matt (01:02:19.861)
you're still on? Okay.
Luciano (01:02:20.962)
It's weird, I would be Donna Pipistrela.
Matt (01:02:23.715)
Yeah. Anyways, I married into it. I know nothing. Hey, we gotta, we gotta go down this hole the rest of the way. I am, I'm Batman. Wait, Batman. There we go. no, I want to go down this a bit further and just because it's fun to Google things on a podcast. What is Joker in Italian?
Matthew Ward (01:02:23.778)
done a bit better.
Luciano (01:02:25.946)
Why is it telling?
Chris (01:02:26.431)
here for it.
Chris (01:02:31.189)
Because Matt's not Batman.
Matthew Ward (01:02:33.926)
Hahaha!
Matthew Ward (01:02:38.679)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:02:38.961)
There you go.
Chris (01:02:39.129)
Ayyyy
Chris (01:02:50.175)
Hmm
Luciano (01:02:50.364)
Burlone It's almost like burlesque, right? It's sort of this. Yeah, not as funny Mataccione buffone like buffoon Yeah, there you go Buffone! No, you never will! Vaffanapoli!
Matt (01:02:51.937)
Yeah. Yeah. Joker's better. Joker's better.
Chris (01:02:55.829)
I'm here for it. I'm here for that.
Matt (01:03:02.761)
yeah, that's better actually. I'm gonna catch you, Bufoni!
Chris (01:03:03.035)
see. This makes...
Matthew Ward (01:03:07.504)
hahahaha
Chris (01:03:11.304)
my gosh.
Chris (01:03:15.379)
Wow, I feel so supported and antagonized at the same time.
Matt (01:03:16.441)
and scene.
Luciano (01:03:17.195)
Hahaha, scene!
Matthew Ward (01:03:20.019)
I like someone listening to that would be like, yeah, I said I'll have extra cheese on that.
Chris (01:03:27.401)
Hey, hey, hey, Ma, let's order a pizza from that Quiznos place.
Matt (01:03:27.555)
Sir?
Matthew Ward (01:03:29.95)
Okay.
Luciano (01:03:32.89)
It can have the penguin. There's a whole host. We should just do one day just the whole roster. Why not? You're married into it. My name is Italian. We're good.
Matt (01:03:41.763)
I'm not sure we should be allowed to.
Matthew Ward (01:03:47.049)
Francesco Piccioni over here, so yeah.
Luciano (01:03:49.712)
There you go. We're good.
Matt (01:03:49.715)
Yeah, it's fine. You know what, Chris? For all, all of the years, just come and hang out and fire your own shots. You deserve it. Reparations are happening.
Chris (01:03:51.509)
I'm sorry, I bring nothing but Caribbean, Beijing ancestors.
Luciano (01:04:01.616)
Yeah. We'll allow it. Yeah.
Chris (01:04:03.285)
Hey!
Chris (01:04:06.85)
Hey, it's about time. Rich, be hot.
Matt (01:04:09.177)
Next question. Unrelated. Hey, why did Eelia get into powerboating? That was apparently a big thing.
Chris (01:04:23.142)
Yeah, that was unmistakable like If you're gonna rise to the top of your class in in KGB Hogwarts you need to be sure that Your that's your Russian Dumbledore is proud of your efforts. And so you need to differentiate. Okay, so when when when when you know Blossoming Ilya was looking to pass his final exams. He's like
I am not operating at peak efficiency. So what must I do to dwarf the, what is it? The embarrassment, the tail, the infamy, the shame and infamy that my father left me. I know I will train to, no one expects you to assert your dominance on the water unless you have a power boat.
Matthew Ward (01:05:01.991)
The shame.
Luciano (01:05:10.492)
Power... POWVERBOT!
Chris (01:05:20.839)
And so he, unless it's the key, unless you have a powerboat and you can wield it effortlessly across the water, almost like skipping stone that never ends.
Luciano (01:05:34.406)
Nice.
Matthew Ward (01:05:35.763)
I mean, if he was so good at powerboating, why was he so bad at it in the movie?
Chris (01:05:40.605)
Listen. Listen. It was on his dossier.
Luciano (01:05:42.962)
I don't think he practiced enough with people shooting at his boat continuously until they exploded.
Matt (01:05:51.022)
Yeah.
Chris (01:05:52.137)
Rain, is bullets are like rain, okay? Some people get wet, other people's feeling.
Matthew Ward (01:05:55.249)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:05:59.345)
Watch this cowboy, I go in circles. Many times. That's basically all he does. Maybe the track for powerboating? I don't know, do they go on a track?
Chris (01:06:03.987)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:06:04.688)
Yeah.
Maybe the reason he went into power voting was a problem of translation.
Chris (01:06:15.925)
so motorboating? I.
Luciano (01:06:16.666)
Maybe he thought he was getting into motorboating. Yeah. Maybe that's why he went in. It's like, I would like the powered boat woman's things. And then when he realized he was wrong, he was too far into it.
Matthew Ward (01:06:27.993)
What's a class?
Chris (01:06:31.109)
It was too late and because he wanted to see because that's the difference between Napoleon and Ilya Ilya is air quotes perfect as as like a super sleuthing master of espionage, but the swab and debonair charms that would be that that Nepal skills that Napoleon possesses or I would and I would say to effect also Gabby and
a villainess Vigigera, like Ilya does not have that ability and so he thought he would be able to conjure up that ability with his mistranslation. So he doesn't know how to speak Russian?
Luciano (01:07:00.934)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:07:01.807)
Hold on though. Chris, Are you implying that Henry Cavill, or sorry, Napoleon Solo, won those women over by motorboating them?
Luciano (01:07:13.158)
Yeah, isn't that how you win women?
Chris (01:07:13.343)
Yes! You... You... You spy plebe?
Matt (01:07:15.895)
SUSTANED!
Matthew Ward (01:07:16.603)
Yeah
Luciano (01:07:20.368)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:07:22.521)
I thought that's we all did it. When you got to seventh grade, you're given a manual and a step -by -step walkthrough of how to meet women.
Matthew Ward (01:07:22.737)
Yeah, I guess.
Chris (01:07:23.061)
I rebuke, I rebuke, I rebuke your ignorance.
Luciano (01:07:24.579)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:07:32.85)
Yeah. Step one, motorboat. Step two, question mark. Step three, profit.
Matthew Ward (01:07:37.839)
Motorboat. Don't even. No, yeah. Step one, motorboat. Step two, introduce yourself.
Chris (01:07:38.131)
You must moulter both.
Luciano (01:07:46.874)
No, what are you talking about? The motorboating is the introduction.
Matthew Ward (01:07:50.35)
Ha
Chris (01:07:50.493)
no, no, he's right, that's the outdated version because you place face between muslims and then, hi, i am solo the ponian see? because he's undercover, my man i'll rebuke your ignorance i'll rebuke it
Luciano (01:08:02.672)
Wait, is he playing solo?
Matt (01:08:06.253)
He's undercover. It's it's he's clearly undercover. I would just like to point out in twenty twenty four, the mail has been updated and now says, hey, may I moderate your breasts? If yes, however, et cetera.
Chris (01:08:14.771)
Mmm.
Matthew Ward (01:08:18.188)
You
Chris (01:08:21.331)
Right.
Luciano (01:08:21.36)
Yeah, that's fine. I think think Ilya stuck with it. I think Ilya stuck with power boating.
Matthew Ward (01:08:21.582)
And equal turnabout, can motorboat you afterwards. And in the case of Henry Clavel, they can also floss.
Matt (01:08:28.94)
Exactly. Yep.
Chris (01:08:29.61)
Right.
Chris (01:08:33.215)
Wait, what? Two people at the same time. What? It sounded like good goal. floss me?
Luciano (01:08:34.533)
Yeah.
Matt (01:08:35.993)
it's You know, I think we're just going to move on to a new question. Just going to cleanse the palette.
Luciano (01:08:40.368)
Alright.
Matthew Ward (01:08:40.952)
Listen, if you're going to motorboat Henry Cavill, you can also floss while doing it. That's all I'm saying.
Chris (01:08:45.178)
Matt (01:08:45.539)
Cleansing the palette. Cleansing the palette.
Chris (01:08:50.185)
Picking up peppermint.
Matt (01:08:51.363)
That's not cleansing the palate. is something else. Hey.
Chris (01:08:54.175)
That's a somebody else? shit. My virgin ears!
Luciano (01:08:54.336)
hahahaha
Matt (01:09:00.563)
Love the sequels and prequels as...
Luciano (01:09:04.599)
Mm -hmm. This is Warner Brothers, so...
Chris (01:09:04.893)
Warner Brothers.
Matt (01:09:07.307)
This is the B.
Chris (01:09:09.929)
The beat. Just the beat.
Luciano (01:09:10.97)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:09:11.405)
The studio realizes it can't go forward with Victoria Vigigara's story. It's a little dead. So we're gonna go backwards.
Luciano (01:09:14.599)
beaches.
Luciano (01:09:20.878)
right unless it's a unless it was a ghost story
Chris (01:09:26.271)
Ghost Vinci!
Luciano (01:09:28.402)
Wait, I have to find out how Ghostbusters is in Italian. Hold on.
Matt (01:09:30.809)
That would be a better version of the Frozen Empire than what we got. I'd watch that for sure. My question, Will Luciano Googles.
Matthew Ward (01:09:35.641)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:09:43.036)
Chiappa fantasmi!
Matthew Ward (01:09:45.236)
That does it.
Matt (01:09:45.676)
Clearly we need to watch that movie.
Chris (01:09:46.697)
Well, Phantasmia is in there, I like that.
Luciano (01:09:50.052)
Yeah... Anyway!
Matt (01:09:51.139)
What I want, so listen, maybe this is the title of this movie. It's your choice. I want a prequel for Victoria, Vinci Guerra and to make it harder because I'm the studio. I want it to be, to just end at the beginning of this movie.
Chris (01:09:54.281)
Yeah, yes, ooh!
Luciano (01:09:59.909)
Mmm.
Chris (01:10:00.009)
Yes.
Luciano (01:10:09.074)
Wait, before, if we're gonna believe that, this is Warner Brothers. If you're the studio, please sound like the studio.
Matt (01:10:11.693)
Yeah. Yeah. hey. Hey, my guy, I'm sorry. I need you to take this movie here with this chick and I need you to make it before thing ends right when this movie starts. OK, my guy, Mike Boss.
Matthew Ward (01:10:13.048)
Yeah.
Chris (01:10:31.015)
Huh... Huh...
Matt (01:10:32.505)
And then we take the trash out. It's too far. We're too racist.
Luciano (01:10:35.954)
We're in too deep. We're in too deep.
Chris (01:10:36.873)
No, not racist enough. The only way out is down. Proceed. I rebuke your stratagem.
Matt (01:10:38.882)
Ha ha ha.
Matthew Ward (01:10:42.176)
Ha ha!
Luciano (01:10:43.992)
Matt (01:10:46.123)
Answer the question, please. I love God. Prequel starring Victoria Vinchiguerra. You can start with her maiden last name. I go from there.
Luciano (01:10:47.222)
Okay
Matthew Ward (01:10:49.452)
Okay.
Chris (01:10:53.429)
Take care.
Luciano (01:10:53.682)
So I think.
Chris (01:10:56.213)
For the love of God. What was her maiden? Cool.
Luciano (01:10:57.21)
Yeah, perda guerra. Lose is worse.
Chris (01:11:03.381)
Okay. Algorithms.
Matt (01:11:03.683)
Got him. Great joke. Just killed it.
Luciano (01:11:04.793)
Hahaha!
So I think it starts with her as a child in a place of plenty, a place of... Right, yeah. With like, it's like the actress whose first build is not that actress, right? And she's in a place called Posto Verde.
Matt (01:11:21.165)
Hey, this should go on for way too long, by the way. I've heard just being a child.
Matthew Ward (01:11:25.954)
Okay.
Matt (01:11:31.789)
Right. Yeah.
Luciano (01:11:37.628)
which is the town she was born in. It's a place of plenty. It's rural Italy in the 20s, I guess. Sounds about right? 30s? Yeah. yeah, this is 60s, not 40s. Yeah, so in the 40s. At the end of World War II, when the Italian mafia has taken over the three towns,
Matthew Ward (01:11:44.906)
Okay.
Matt (01:11:46.679)
Yeah, maybe 30s. Maybe 30s. She's kind of young.
Yeah. 40 zoom. Yep. Probably.
Luciano (01:12:06.246)
The.
Chris (01:12:09.909)
I'm so glad he's here. Like he's rooting it in history. boy. I'm learned. I'm getting learned today. I'm getting learned today. Okay.
Luciano (01:12:11.772)
of proletarian
Matt (01:12:17.049)
It's getting real. Learning all these, I really appreciate we're learning all these authentic and salient towns.
Luciano (01:12:18.512)
the cheetah de gas.
Chris (01:12:24.485)
Yeah, I'm here for it. Let the man cook.
Luciano (01:12:25.436)
They're all in the area of Tuscany. What's the first, what's the citadel?
Matthew Ward (01:12:27.255)
Authentic Italian
Matt (01:12:29.913)
Okay, thank you. I was wondering what region they're in.
Chris (01:12:33.845)
cost of
Matt (01:12:35.117)
Hey man, I didn't cut that out. doesn't happen.
Luciano (01:12:36.636)
the La Cittadella. And yeah, so it takes like about half the movie is just her as a child running away from Posto Verde trying to get to La Cittadella because...
Chris (01:12:39.046)
boy.
Chris (01:12:57.653)
cheese.
Luciano (01:12:58.63)
Yes, cheese. There are any out of cheese in posto verde?
Matt (01:13:02.221)
Parmesan, man, that is so hard to come by.
Luciano (01:13:04.41)
Yeah, and it's far from Tuscany too. So you have to go all the way. You have to go on a road trip on the Strada della Furia. Everybody knows it's the highway that goes all the way through Italy.
Chris (01:13:04.629)
home.
Matt (01:13:06.477)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you gotta go all the way. it's a, you gotta travel.
Chris (01:13:14.857)
course.
Matt (01:13:15.063)
A road? Yeah.
Chris (01:13:19.025)
gosh my guy with the the with the directions
Matt (01:13:26.243)
Yeah, that's the one.
Luciano (01:13:28.178)
It's from ancient Rome. And then she meets, this goes on for way too long as you said, Matt, think you're in the studio, I have to respect what you said. And then about an hour and 30 minutes into this movie, the actual actress who plays her, as a young woman appears.
Matt (01:13:31.011)
Yeah, historically accurate.
Chris (01:13:31.049)
We believe you, we believe you. Thank you. You're a gentleman and a scholar.
Matt (01:13:41.891)
Yeah, please.
Luciano (01:13:58.13)
She's disguised as a man because nobody respects women back then. So she, one of the most beautiful men you've ever seen, obviously. And no, no, nobody notices this. And then she's like, she managed to infiltrate herself in the cheese factory in Parma, also known as Città di Gas.
Matt (01:14:00.066)
Obviously.
Chris (01:14:08.245)
Hey.
Matt (01:14:09.825)
No one's going to notice, right?
Chris (01:14:13.161)
the ladybug effect. Okay.
Matt (01:14:26.103)
Right. Right. Right. Classically. Luciano, just I'm curious in this movie. How do they get Parmesan to any of the other cities?
Luciano (01:14:26.638)
Everybody knows it's what they call it and you need to... Yeah. Mmm.
Chris (01:14:28.011)
Huh. I mean, come on, tell me something I don't know.
Luciano (01:14:41.202)
they go, so they have this transport vehicle. No, and it's like, at first they start trying to transport it normally, like in like wagons and stuff, but they get assaulted by like bandits. Well, the mafia, the Italian mafia assaults them. And so they build this,
Chris (01:14:48.635)
vehicles, okay. They call it the crow.
Chris (01:14:55.999)
Yeah. Mm -hmm. That's right.
Matt (01:15:02.285)
Yeah, obviously. Thank you.
Chris (01:15:05.772)
That's fromage -ian.
Luciano (01:15:10.278)
What would they call it? I guess they would call it a rig, a rig maybe. And well, no, no, that's, you know, the type of vehicle. What they name it is a Atrezzatura di Guerra. That's they name it. Yeah. Just off the top of my head. Just off the top of my head.
Chris (01:15:11.893)
Convoy? Okay, okay, okay.
Matt (01:15:13.941)
Okay, yeah, that's very American of you, but yeah.
Chris (01:15:23.252)
Hey?
Matt (01:15:24.077)
Yeah, it does basically roll off your head like cheese train would, so I see where you're going with it.
Luciano (01:15:29.754)
yeah well no that's the other name that's the other name it's the treno del formaggio yeah but like you know it's it's it's one of those things where like the guy that built it wanted called his own name
Chris (01:15:30.497)
Hey, people all over the world, cheese train.
Matt (01:15:32.707)
Yeah.
Yeah, Nice cheese train. Yeah. It's like it's and it's the it's a cool code name for the company, right? Like to be like, yeah, the cheese train's on the move. Sounds lame.
Luciano (01:15:45.38)
Yeah, of course, of course. And so they take this Atrezzatura di Guerra through the Strade della Furia and they transport not the cheese as you might think it, but the milk and like all of the stuff like separately. And that's where she meets
Chris (01:15:49.768)
Chini stream.
Chris (01:16:06.586)
shit, so they were smuggling.
Chris (01:16:13.013)
Vincenzo.
Luciano (01:16:14.034)
Pretor Alex is his name.
Chris (01:16:15.791)
Ayy,
Luciano (01:16:19.418)
Yeah, for some reason paints the top of his head. It's a weird thing that he does.
Matt (01:16:19.811)
Yep.
Yeah, well, it's like it's just a mimic the cool hair is gonna have in a future date.
Luciano (01:16:26.009)
Right, right, yeah.
Chris (01:16:27.443)
It helps protect against the sun.
Matt (01:16:29.015)
Yeah, there you go.
Luciano (01:16:29.202)
Pretore Alex, Alexandro. And that's where they fall in love. She for some reason knows how to drive that vehicle very well. And they fall in love while they're running away from... What's this fucking... The mentor?
Matt (01:16:33.815)
Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
Chris (01:16:35.581)
Aha.
Matthew Ward (01:16:35.971)
Okay.
Matt (01:16:39.544)
Yes, thank you.
Chris (01:16:39.861)
Cook, bitch, cook.
Chris (01:16:59.541)
Dementor, yes, Dementus.
Luciano (01:16:59.622)
Dementus? Demented, okay. yeah, would just be Dementi, or maybe Impazzito, that's his nickname.
Matt (01:17:08.344)
Thank you. That's perfect. I love that. Hey, let's wrap this one up. I just want to know the title for this movie. I was thinking something like, don't know. Well, like, or just say, yeah, Format Josia. Like, but like, yeah, the man from Uncle Saga. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's good. Cause everybody got to know what is related to the man from Uncle. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. Thank you.
Chris (01:17:09.941)
Hehehe.
Luciano (01:17:19.846)
FOR MAGIOZA
Chris (01:17:22.32)
Luciano (01:17:24.508)
For my Joza and Uncle saga.
Chris (01:17:27.103)
We need a F, okay.
Luciano (01:17:29.477)
Yeah, yeah for my Joe sir
Chris (01:17:32.117)
Okay, good.
Luciano (01:17:34.203)
Of course, yeah, of course.
Chris (01:17:34.674)
Yes.
Matthew Ward (01:17:34.689)
Okay.
Matt (01:17:37.625)
I'm going to yield everybody else's time because that was fun and I'm not sure anybody caught on what we were doing, but that's okay. Hey.
Chris (01:17:37.749)
Tito.
Luciano (01:17:39.056)
Ha ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:17:43.386)
What? No, this is a completely original idea that came up with right now.
Matt (01:17:46.841)
I want to get off this podcast before we get called by any major movie studios and get sued again. That's fine. No, that's Luigi. We all know him. We all love him. He had a huge role to play in this movie.
Luciano (01:17:52.231)
Again. Again.
Chris (01:17:52.671)
Goddamn. But this is where we lay our homework out, but go on.
Chris (01:18:00.521)
Luigi!
Matthew Ward (01:18:03.577)
Okay.
Matt (01:18:06.509)
Just for the audience in case someone missed the movie or like, you know, sometimes you like to listen to it before you watch it. He's the bellhop from the hotel and he's got to bring Napoleon's stuff up to his room. So the other hotel person can bang Napoleon. But that's not important. I want to know what is Luigi's real passion?
Chris (01:18:10.165)
They know who we're talking about. Go on, go on, go on, go Aw.
Chris (01:18:22.943)
Bang. Bang, gift is.
Chris (01:18:28.981)
Apart from peeping Tom, because he saw that coming.
Matt (01:18:31.309)
I mean, that, listen, you tell me, I'm just asking questions, asking questions.
Matthew Ward (01:18:31.552)
Okay.
Chris (01:18:35.923)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you asking all right. You asking the fuck out of them and I cannot rebuke that intention. Luigi, Luigi's, Luigi has had to play the role of observer for much too long and when you watch all kinds and all tiers of folk enter and leave a hotel.
Matthew Ward (01:18:59.744)
Okay.
Luciano (01:19:03.856)
and enter and leave and enter and leave.
Chris (01:19:07.313)
Indeed, it wears on you and you can't help but wonder about the stories of these denizens coming to partake of your tranquil, if not lavish establishment. so I think burning within the fires of someone helped me translate belly or stomach into Italian as one does. He has.
Matthew Ward (01:19:33.184)
Okay.
Matt (01:19:34.681)
Tummy Tom.
Chris (01:19:35.945)
Tommy Tum, see, this is why we make sure that here in the podcast DEI is alive and well. Now he is yearning to become and evolve into his true monarch butterfly state, that of an auteur. He wants to create stories and capture them in film, in film.
Matthew Ward (01:19:42.759)
Thank
Matthew Ward (01:19:48.96)
Okay.
Chris (01:20:00.903)
I yield my time.
Luciano (01:20:00.961)
So you're saying his passion is cinema?
Chris (01:20:04.159)
Correct!
Matt (01:20:04.845)
Yeah, I mean, that was pretty evident from the beginning of Chris's statement,
Luciano (01:20:08.028)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (01:20:08.253)
You know, he wants to tell stories about people and the people who fall in love with those, with the rest of those people and the people who have dreams and don't actualize them. And if you don't, if you don't understand that, we got a problem. But don't you confirm these nuts.
Matt (01:20:21.613)
Yeah. Yeah, the Sierra.
Luciano (01:20:25.53)
No, I'm just confirming.
Matt (01:20:29.047)
Good. Hey, I would love to stop both of you from talking for a bit. Matt, just say anything.
Luciano (01:20:31.92)
That's what he does, incidentally.
Chris (01:20:38.325)
That's what you do with that smooth pause. Everybody back, listen, with that, I don't want y 'all talking anymore, pause.
Luciano (01:20:48.535)
Y 'all need to shut your faces.
Matt (01:20:48.537)
I'm professional. Professional podcaster.
Chris (01:20:50.805)
It's the professional podcaster daddy tone. It's like I don't
Matt (01:20:54.915)
Hey listen, I just want to ask Matt a question. Matt.
Matt (01:21:02.465)
I forgot the question. Now I do. Luigi, your friend Luigi. There it is. I'm gonna cut that out and now he's gonna know. What's Luigi's real passion?
Chris (01:21:06.441)
Luigi!
Matthew Ward (01:21:09.622)
What's passion? I was transfixed by that story. I think he was just a lovable guy who, you know, just kind of like... He grew up with that desk clerk. Let's call her Mariana, because that's her real name. Because I don't know if she has a name in the movie. She's just desk clerk. So they obviously knew each other for a long time. You you could tell just from the like...
Chris (01:21:09.681)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (01:21:29.045)
Okay. Yeah.
you
Matthew Ward (01:21:39.323)
the gentle yet harsh way that only a true friend would call him to carry the bags. So I like to think that like, he was always like, just loving her from afar, you know, like his passion, she fueled that passion and he's just always waiting for his chance and, you know.
Chris (01:21:40.231)
contact.
Chris (01:21:47.071)
Pick up the fucking bags.
Matt (01:21:49.176)
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (01:21:50.192)
That's how you do it.
Chris (01:21:52.159)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:21:56.134)
Mmm.
Chris (01:21:56.286)
You
Chris (01:22:00.168)
Hello.
Matthew Ward (01:22:05.261)
I feel like in that scene, was he not behind her when they were like first came up? Was he the guy? You think that was Luigi? I don't think we ever got any clarification on the dude that was behind her.
Chris (01:22:09.291)
That's right.
Matt (01:22:15.203)
You know what? It's... yes. Yeah. Yeah. Fact. Vacuumint.
Chris (01:22:16.435)
I think it was him. It was him. It's not argument. It was. You know?
Luciano (01:22:17.116)
For the sake of argument, let's say it's him.
Matthew Ward (01:22:19.355)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:22:23.397)
So, you know, I feel like he just feels like he almost had his chance, you know? And then like so many before, the cavalry arrived in of a beautiful, slightly hairy man. And, you know, he got there and he was like, how can I make this not happen?
Chris (01:22:35.157)
-huh.
Chris (01:22:43.642)
Mm -hmm. There's all them pectorals.
Matthew Ward (01:22:49.935)
You know, how can I make this not like, how do I sabotage this and get myself in there? And,
Chris (01:22:50.589)
Yep. Yep.
Luciano (01:22:56.658)
Is that why his name is Solo?
Chris (01:22:57.023)
Cause Luigi is... As in solo. Solo.
Matthew Ward (01:23:02.222)
As in...
Luciano (01:23:04.538)
Yeah, he is solo and he wants people to be solo. Is that what I'm saying?
Matthew Ward (01:23:08.203)
Anyway, I feel like his passion is like he loved this woman. He wanted to be with her. He wanted her to share his love giving really. I feel like I'm just making him sound like a giant incel, but you know, sort of like in so much.
Chris (01:23:20.637)
Not quite. You're almost there, but not enough to make me concerned.
Luciano (01:23:21.638)
Matthew Ward (01:23:25.859)
So he realizes when she looks at him and she says, well, what else can we do for five minutes? Which by the way, not sexy to any woman. I don't think I've ever said to a woman, like, hey, what can we do in five minutes? And she's like, not that son, no.
Luciano (01:23:26.0)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:23:35.568)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:23:41.471)
You're a tiger. You're a tiger. Now a lemur. A lemur.
Luciano (01:23:41.482)
I can, I can.
Matt (01:23:41.795)
Ha
Matthew Ward (01:23:44.939)
I can think of a lot better things to do.
Luciano (01:23:46.083)
I can berate you for five minutes if you want.
Matthew Ward (01:23:49.593)
And that phrase, by the way, was the one phrase he didn't hear while he was setting the bomb to tragically kill both of them in a lover's embrace. He thought it would take normally like 15, 20 minutes, but no, cattle rolls in five minutes. So basically they had already left the room, it went off and nothing happened and he just, you know.
Luciano (01:24:00.422)
Wow, that took a turn.
Chris (01:24:03.869)
I can't. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:24:16.781)
I guess he just kills himself. I don't know how ever that tragic story ends.
Matt (01:24:18.681)
So I just, just so I isolate this. Luigi's true passion is death by suicide.
Chris (01:24:19.445)
Making cons.
stalker.
Matthew Ward (01:24:27.509)
Yes. Or bomb making. Bomb making could be a two.
Matt (01:24:30.787)
bomb making. He died doing what he loved, making and distributing bombs.
Chris (01:24:32.405)
Stalking.
Matthew Ward (01:24:34.355)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:24:35.121)
Yeah.
Chris (01:24:37.621)
I blow you up, I blow you up, I blow you up, you don't love me, blow you, blow you, blow you up, you die explosion boom.
Matthew Ward (01:24:37.749)
It's not working.
Luciano (01:24:44.928)
You don't blow me, I blow you. You don't blow me, I blow you.
Matthew Ward (01:24:45.313)
That's a great, that's the song. Yeah.
Chris (01:24:49.205)
That's right. It's on rig tone already.
Matt (01:24:50.051)
My favorite song in the movie. All right, I'm yelling everyone's time, that's enough. We've nailed the question. Let's do what we always do here at the end of the podcast. Let's give ourselves a ranking for this movie. We have reviewed another classic facts movie. I haven't said that in a long time because why would I? But you listened. Facts, fantasy, action, comics. Sometimes we led slide to comedy.
Chris (01:25:19.216)
Yeah.
Matt (01:25:19.353)
Thriller and science fiction where does this one fit nobody knows but the important thing here is I want a ranking from s to f for this movie starting with
Chris (01:25:21.973)
you
Matt (01:25:33.113)
Luciano.
Luciano (01:25:34.266)
All right. I said it a couple of times while we were talking about it. I really actually enjoyed this movie. It's not like a super great masterpiece, but it is fun, it's well acted. It's, you know, the story is fun. It's not too complicated and it doesn't have to be. I am, so I had never heard of Army Hammer before we started talking about this movie. And I am supremely bummed that he turned out to be the garbage human being that he is.
Chris (01:25:42.1)
Actually.
Luciano (01:26:03.632)
because he is a very good, really good actor and unfortunate, it's unfortunate that he's like basically canceled forever, would say, rightly so, but unfortunate for the art, let's say, because I really enjoyed his craft. Yeah, like Harry Cavill is also a pretty good actor, he has good comedic timing and I think he outdid Harry Cavill in the sense.
Chris (01:26:18.901)
Craft.
Chris (01:26:23.23)
Yep.
Luciano (01:26:28.93)
Not much to complain about really, just honest. Like I said, I don't just didn't find the chemistry between Alicia Vikander and him and Armie Hammer all there. Like I thought it was sort of forced a little bit. But overall, it's a fun movie. I might actually watch it again. Not I wouldn't go after it, but I would watch it again. Statistically cool. I'm going to say a solid B for me.
Matt (01:26:55.768)
Wow. Other match. Can you top that?
Matthew Ward (01:26:57.512)
Yes.
Luciano (01:26:59.73)
Is there competition now?
Matthew Ward (01:27:01.465)
I like good villain. I think that's what made this movie. I love the villains. I thought that was my favorite part. And I mean, when we were talking about it, we were just reminded of it. I loved the filming of it. I loved the way it was done. I actually felt like just the the aesthetic of it was really decent and not just like the camera cuts and stuff like that, but just like I said, it literally looked like you could be seeing.
Chris (01:27:02.163)
Once you pop, you can't stop the top. Till you drop.
Luciano (01:27:09.266)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:27:30.707)
you know, like a Giorgio Armani ad for like some sort of fragrance. Like I half expected her when she was like about to date rape, having a cavil where she just like closes eyes and she's like, you know, Gucci. I don't know. It just cuts away.
Luciano (01:27:44.878)
Uncle. Uncle by Armani.
Matt (01:27:45.357)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:27:49.301)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:27:49.387)
know, Armani. But yeah, I just I like that. love this. I love a sexy villain that like is also like fucking competent. And with that, so I think she kind of stole the whole bloody thing in that regard. So, yeah, I like that. I liked I like that. I like I like Henry Cavill. I mean, this also kind of is funny because a while back we were talking about James Bond and just for some weird six degrees of separation.
Luciano (01:27:51.207)
Yeah.
Chris (01:27:58.421)
Brilliant.
Luciano (01:27:59.985)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:28:19.11)
The next movie that he was in with Guy Ritchie is the Ministry of Gentlemanly, Ungentlemanly Warfare. And that guy he's playing is actually the care, is actually the real guy who James Bond was based on. So it was like a whole weird sort of thing. So I love Henry Cavill. I like that. I actually didn't, as much as I was saying, like, Armie Hammer's like a solid actor. And I do think he is because again, if you're gonna be that kind of a monster and can pretend to be a human being.
Chris (01:28:19.253)
Do it.
Luciano (01:28:24.167)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:28:31.068)
that is based on, yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:28:31.293)
Ian Fleming? that guy.
Luciano (01:28:46.802)
Acting chops.
Matthew Ward (01:28:47.066)
And then on top of that, pretend to be someone else convincingly. I mean, layers to this guy's dimension. But that being said, I didn't particularly love him in this movie. thought he was like a weird, he was a good straight man, but I don't think he was, I could have took or leave him kind of thing. I didn't think he was necessarily making the movie for me. So I again, kind of like good, kind of bad, kind of okay. So I would put it in a B too.
Chris (01:28:54.875)
Mmm, mocha.
Matthew Ward (01:29:14.514)
But damn, I want to watch a movie with that villain ass man. I would watch a prequel with that.
Luciano (01:29:23.15)
I just made one for you, so you're worth it.
Matthew Ward (01:29:24.891)
Yeah.
Matt (01:29:25.131)
If you if you want to watch a different movie entirely and put her picture on the screen, it would be fine. You'll make a movie. Don't worry about it.
Matthew Ward (01:29:32.295)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:29:32.344)
Hahaha!
Just think of her, just think of Victoria Vinciguerra.
Matthew Ward (01:29:36.433)
was better, it was better than the one I came up with. I was just going to basically read the plot to Matilda and just chambered her name to Victoria.
Matt (01:29:43.949)
Listen, well.
Chris (01:29:45.215)
Hmmmm
Luciano (01:29:46.06)
That would have been funny too.
Matt (01:29:49.579)
It wouldn't be funny, but we don't stand for that here. We won't let you do it for Matilda. We won't let you do it for, I don't know, other problem child. And we definitely won't let you do it for Furiosa at Mad Max Saga. Never. Never.
Matthew Ward (01:29:52.175)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:29:52.86)
Alright.
Chris (01:29:57.311)
Problem child, problem child.
Matthew Ward (01:29:58.542)
It would star Danny DeVito though.
Luciano (01:30:03.25)
For Furiosa, yeah, no. Never, we would never do that.
Chris (01:30:10.079)
We rebuke that intent.
Matthew Ward (01:30:11.525)
You
Luciano (01:30:13.124)
Your rating, No, he didn't give a rating yet.
Matt (01:30:13.341)
Alright, Chris. Chris. no, he did. He said a B. Yeah. Chris, are you prepared?
Chris (01:30:13.939)
BYU!
Matthew Ward (01:30:16.688)
I know I did. B.
Chris (01:30:17.272)
yeah, you gotta do it.
Luciano (01:30:18.564)
Okay, I didn't hear it, sorry.
Chris (01:30:21.321)
Yes, sir. Yeah, I was just looking at my notes actually. I would say. So I've seen this movie like three and a half times. And I.
Luciano (01:30:33.98)
for reasons that will remain unmentioned.
Chris (01:30:41.683)
Yeah, so I've seen this movie three times and I've enjoyed it each time. Especially the, and like, miss, I wish I could watch it again for the first time because it walks a really, really exciting line between too much action and not enough espionage, but it still does, it still walks that line. It feels proportional, but at the same time, now it's got comedy.
And like fantastic casting. Like Dumbledore Jr. was the last person that I expected to be in this in this, you know, in this film. And I was absolutely delighted to see Jared Harris and like David Beckham stretching his wings, trying to diversify his portfolio, changing the film over. So sorry, boss. Like, come on. So anyways, the core cast aside and
All the other things I mentioned music was on was fucking on point. And just everything was gripping in in the right way. This is Guy Ritchie at his best, which is sad because the movie was never option. Silence is my fucking time. You had yours. This movie was optioned for a sequel, and I would have absolutely loved what they would have tried to continue to do. So should you see this movie? 100 percent yes. And.
that my my rating was going to be actually no let me think about this if I'm saying what I'm saying this is an a for me there you go yeah yeah
Matt (01:32:17.226)
my god. A lot. yeah.
Luciano (01:32:17.867)
All right.
Luciano (01:32:21.508)
I'll allow it. Yeah, I'll allow you to have your opinion.
Chris (01:32:22.709)
You'll allow it. I'll allow you to have agency. Thank you. shit! no.
Matt (01:32:27.085)
You're welcome. I got him. I do really enjoy this movie. I don't know why, but several times when I was watching this movie, I was just like sitting there and kind of like a little like smirk or smile on my face for like a little longer than it probably should. Because I've seen the movie before, but it's just like, it was just like, you know, it's nostalgia. It probably was a nostalgia that was doing it, but like it's just like.
Matthew Ward (01:32:45.772)
Okay.
Chris (01:32:53.408)
Boosh.
Matt (01:32:55.029)
Sometimes it's been the summer's been on fire in your city for like months on end and you just get to a spot where it's like It's cool at night. You can cozy up in your house Have a warm drink or you know glass of whiskey depending where I had it and just settled in and you know Know you're having a cozy time doing nothing and that's what this movie was for me. It was just I had a great time It was cozy. It was fun. would I would put it right there in that B range of I'd watch this movie again
Chris (01:33:09.013)
There you go, there you go.
Luciano (01:33:16.551)
Mm
Matt (01:33:23.961)
I have no issues with the movie other than, you know, it's not awesome. So there's that, but otherwise be, yeah. You know what I mean though? Like the story was kind of blah. Yeah. That's what I meant. you're welcome. We have finished this podcast on the man from uncle on a good note. We're going to next week, we're going to go to a bad note, I think.
Luciano (01:33:31.594)
You
Luciano (01:33:34.929)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:33:35.338)
Yeah, it was just there was a
Luciano (01:33:39.248)
All right. All right.
Chris (01:33:40.458)
That's interesting.
Chris (01:33:48.319)
Good note.
Chris (01:33:53.713)
The bad note.
Matthew Ward (01:33:54.537)
Is it a Zack Snyder movie?
Matt (01:33:54.763)
I don't know. No, we're not. If you want to watch the extended cuts, say hi to your mother for me.
Luciano (01:33:58.963)
It's a Mark Wohlberg movie.
Matthew Ward (01:34:01.952)
you
Chris (01:34:03.177)
Say hi to your mother for me.
Matt (01:34:09.817)
And talk about them on your own time. That's your home personal business. No, we're going to watch the 2024 vehicle union. The union. The union. It stars Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry and went directly to. Netflix.
Luciano (01:34:10.796)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:34:15.285)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:34:21.808)
Yes, the Union, yes.
Chris (01:34:24.074)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:34:31.225)
Garbage?
Chris (01:34:33.717)
And, wub wub wub wub.
Luciano (01:34:34.018)
Might as well.
Matt (01:34:34.035)
It went directly somewhere.
Matthew Ward (01:34:36.008)
You
Matt (01:34:37.911)
The text is red. Netflix? I don't know. It wants to drag me to Netflix. I think it's a Netflix production. So we're going to watch this and it's a vehicle for someone who will name it later.
Luciano (01:34:40.518)
I think it's Netflix, yeah.
Chris (01:34:44.618)
Yeah.
Chris (01:34:49.493)
Roast it.
Luciano (01:34:50.29)
Tony was the vehicle for 2024. That's what you said.
Matt (01:34:52.505)
Maybe.
Chris (01:34:53.262)
vehicle that got you from point A to point B.
Matt (01:34:55.929)
Well, no, we're moving on to the end of the podcast. We're watching the Union 2024. Someone is the vehicle for it. I don't know.
Matthew Ward (01:35:08.925)
David.
Matt (01:35:09.049)
See you next time.
Chris (01:35:09.712)
See you next time.
Luciano (01:35:10.348)
Na na na na na na
Happy Strelok!
Chris (01:35:13.781)
Uncle Rudy!