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Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center’s podcast dedicated to empowering parents and their kids as they navigate mental health challenges. Through insightful discussions, expert advice, and engaging storytelling, we provide the tools and support needed to foster resilience, self-discovery, and emotional well-being.
Each episode features two segments:
🦸♂️ For Parents – Practical strategies, expert insights, and real conversations to help caregivers support their child’s mental and emotional growth.
🌟 For Kids – Interactive storytelling and discussions centered around unlocking their inner hero, overcoming obstacles, and building confidence.
Together, we break stigmas, encourage open dialogue, and equip families with the knowledge to thrive. Because every hero’s journey starts with a conversation.
#CapesAndConversations #UnlockTheHeroWithin #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingSupport #BuildingFutures
00:00:00
Welcome to Capes and Conversations, the Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast. I'm Adam Kotowski, Clinical Director. And I'm Megan Rose McMullen, MS. This podcast is a conversation about mental health and wellness. You know who I want to talk about today, character-wise? Who? Baymax. Big Hero 6. Big Hero 6, yeah. Baymax. He uses non-verbal, non-violent communication because he's helpful. And so he has to change his demeanor and how he looks and how he acts, tone, body language,
00:00:36
all of that stuff so that he can be the most helpful version and not scare people off when they're in that kind of fight or flight thing. And why do you think that's important today? Well, communication is never what you intend to say. It's the response you hope to get from other people. And a lot of our communication is very redundant. Well, now what that means is we're always communicating. We're always communicating. That's our verbal, what we're saying through our voice, but it's also our voice tone. It's our eye movements.
00:01:08
It's our body language. It's how we carry ourselves. It's how we walk. It's how we do things. We're always communicating. So when you want to communicate effectively with your parents, your classmates, your teammates, your friends, you have to really think about how you're presenting the conversation in your voice tone, in your approach, excited, relaxed, and then you also have to think about what do I want to get as a response from them?
00:01:38
You know, not necessarily what I intend to say, because if I intend to say something, but it offends them in a different way, then I really didn't effectively communicate. Yeah. I think it's important, too, because a lot of times we all have done this where we give our parents attitudes, and we get kind of snotty, or we roll our eyes, or we, like, come up and we look down and we don't make a sound. eye contact or we kind of turn away from them um because we don't want to hear what they say or they it feels like they're going to shame us or punish us or yell at us and so we tend to like.
00:02:12
you know be kind of reactive reactive and oh i don't know about you but as a kid i knew everything like i i knew it all you're so smart i was i was just like i knew more than everybody else right and that that was interesting though because that attitude got me a lot of loneliness you know and i knew i didn't realize at the time i was you know in in grade school i grew taller than most people and i was very athletically gifted so you know i just felt like i was a cool kid so it was my way i was the right way man did it take me some some humbleness to realize you.
00:02:45
know i got to high school that changed because you know it was very academically demanding it was all boys and you know a lot of guys a lot bigger than me put me in my place so you know it uh you will be humbled we'll say so with that being said a lot of our reaction, can trigger other people based on you know if we think we know it all yeah one practice that i have here to show the difference in the meaning of a sentence is the one sentence she gave she said she gave him money right so when you put the emphasis on she said she gave money right she.
00:03:17
said she gave him money right she said she gave him money right she said she gave him money right every time you put an emphasis on a different word it has a different connotation it means something slightly different right because of the tone and where you put the emphasis on and that matters right because it does change what we mean it's important to learn these things because depending on where you're at the expectation is different whether you're in class and you say something to a teacher and you put emphasis on so you're being disrespectful you.
00:03:48
might get signed right or you might might get sent to the principal office if you do it at your home right you might get a different response right you might get your electronics taken away or something like that, so it's like important, we do this because when you say things it's important to know that when you get the reaction back you can learn from it because it's feedback like we said before in a previous podcast it's always you always if there's no succinct failure there's only feedback you get feedback it's what you do with that feedback and you know what when you bring that with effective communication there.
00:04:22
are times that we just don't effectively communicate but we can correct that yeah so, if you get a response from somebody that you did not intend to get ask questions did something not make sense or do you have questions about or what did you hear right you had said that in an earlier podcast yeah you want to ask questions because it shows you care right number one and number two you will get better in your communication once you learn what they hear and say oh i didn't even.
00:04:54
think of that how i presented it and i think too um when we are communicating, and, We use a tone of voice that we didn't mean. Sometimes I'll notice that I got louder than I meant to. And I'm like, oh, that was louder than I meant to. Or I'll notice, like, I'm like, I'll say something, like, snotty. And I'll be like, oh, I didn't mean it snotty. It just came out snotty. And I, like, stop in the middle of a conversation. I do a T, and I say it right then and there. I'm like, I'm sorry. Or if I start to see that someone is getting defensive because they're starting,
00:05:25
you can see it in their body language. Or they get, like, their face kind of gets screwed up or, like, whatever, and you think that they're getting angry. Yeah. Right? I think that right then you can take a timeout and pause and say, oh, wait a second. Is something coming out wrong? Right. Because, like, right now it looks like you're getting a little defensive, and I'm not sure, like, that was not my intention. So, like, before we get too far down the line, Right. maybe we can figure out where the misunderstanding,
00:05:56
Absolutely. I mean, I'm a see it, say it person, and I think in therapy you have to. have to be. If you see something, you would recognize it. You look sad. You look very frustrated right now. The reason you do that is because number one, I want to acknowledge your emotions, but number two, let's address it. Let's not sit there and sugarcoat it or let's not sit there and block it. No, let's address it because that's why we're here. That's what really effective therapy and effective communication is in therapy. Let's talk about it. And the first step is to identify because you need a framework to talk about it. So maybe.
00:06:29
there's something happening inside of you. You're not really sure, but if you can label it, you can then know what it is. And we talked about this earlier is, um, when you have, like, if you're getting angry and you notice that your breath is really short and quick and like very, like shallow, do the opposite to change your brain, your body and your brain into something else. Cause when you're hyperventilating, you're getting frustrated and you're doing this slow, quick breaths, your body's thinking I'm angry. I'm in fight or flight. Correct. So then you need to go.
00:07:00
long, slow breaths to say, oh, I'm in relaxation mode first so that my brain can think. Because if you're in fight or flight, everything gets constricted and you're not going to be able to think properly because that part of your brain shuts off. I have an analogy for this. So if you, if your, this is your brain, right? And this is your brainstem. This is your amygdala. This is your other part of your brain. Medial prefrontal cortex. Yes. Thank you. We call it the MPC. Now you know me.
00:07:34
So anyway, when we get into fight or flight, we'll call this part of your brain, the ego part of your brain. This part of your brain is the wolf part of your brain. And so when you get into fight or flight, the ego flies off because it's scared. It needs to fly off. So then the wolf brain is now engaged and the wolf brain is always ready to tap. Ready. Okay. In order to have a wise mind, the emotional mind versus the mental mind, You need to have the eagle come back, land, and they need to work together.
00:08:04
They need to work together, yeah. Because the eagle has perspectives from high above that the wolf does not. Correct. And so if the wolf is fighting by itself, it's always going to be on a defense. It's always in fight or flight. But if it comes back down and you have the wise mind, you have to have them working together. Mm-hmm. Right? And so you are, as a human being, you're always going to have emotions. Yes. You're always going to have reactions, and that's going to always be there. Yep. Right? Absolutely. But with the eagle mind, which is what we're talking about, having effective communication, you need that perspective so that those two can work together.
00:08:37
Mm-hmm. Yes. I mean, that is an absolutely wonderful analogy. And one thing, as you were talking about that, that I studied is when trauma comes in, when we have trauma and tragedy take place, what happens is both the eagle and the wolf take like a little leave of absence, and we don't really know that because they're a big part of. Our brain. But when there's trauma, it's repeated trauma, or something happens repeatedly, they go on vacation a little bit. And then subconsciously, things get stored that you don't even know. And then guess what, you become a teenager, you become adult. And where's this coming from? Well, while you these two are on vacation, which was two very important part of your brain. Things were just subconsciously recorded.
00:09:22
So you put in the backpack, and this is why, you know, the stigma behind therapy makes should be a therapy makes you stronger, because you're going to now work on those subconscious recordings. And we're going to bring them out so that guess what, you can effectively deal with those. And then you can move forward. And then guess what, the eagle and the wolf become much stronger, and they work together going for the rest of your life. So, no, great point. I just want to throw that tidbit in there, because it's important.
00:09:53
The kids know, you know, that's why we're here at Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center. That's why we're here. We want to work with you on that. I have an example of this. When we communicate, so if you were to give a speech in front of class, I might feel terrified, right? I'm scared. I'm nervous. My voice is shaking. I'm holding my paper. My knees are gone, whatever. And then I don't like doing it. So I decide I don't like doing it. But just like Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez or anybody, when they originally did it, they would feel that same energy too.
00:10:26
But the more you get used to it and the more you do it, so the more you learn how to communicate or sing on stage or be in front of people and talk and communicate your feelings, it's going to feel shaky at first. But then you're going to get used to it and your body's going to get, oh, wait a second. I'm not needing to fight for my life here. I'm only on stage and I'm talking. That's why debates or speech people, the more they practice it, the more they get that down, the more that they're nervous. The more their system calms down, the more they'd be able to do it. So whether you're communicating.
00:15:16
sit and talk to people and I'd get them to talk about themselves. And after 10, 15, 20 minutes, hey, man, I love talking to you. Do you have a card? Sure. My name is Adam Kotowski. This is what I do. Yeah, I really want to talk to you more. Of course, because it's about you. Right. But my point being is, I didn't realize that when I started, it was so tough for me to actually have a conversation with somebody. But I wanted to master it. Because I knew in life, the only way I was going to be successful is if I could effectively communicate. And it took bravery, it took courage, and it took confidence. And.
00:16:56
It's learned. So like you start learning it from a toddler. continuing on. So if you're not practicing talking to people, if you're not your only engagement is social media or you're only like saying a couple words that are like slang words now or hip words or whatever, like you're not going to be able to communicate as effectively as you get into different situations, whether it's work or sports or whatever, right? Or college. You need to have those things because you need to be practicing. And you can do that here. Always. We'd love to. I.
00:17:59
Not many people know this, but Ed Sheeran, Ed Sheeran had a severe stutter when he was a kid, and one of the ways he transformed it was he was rapping to Eminem songs. Now, why? Eminem says a lot of inappropriate things, yes, but the speed at which Eminem raps is very, very, very fast, faster than most humanly possible. So, Ed Sheeran's belief was, if I could rap at his speed, I can transform my stutter, so then I could talk normal, and I think we'd agree that Ed Sheeran's got some pretty good music, right?
00:18:34
So, that's why he always, he collaborates with Eminem on some music, because he credits Eminem teaching him how to overcome his stutter. So, remember, it takes courage, it takes bravery, and you can always build up more effectively on anything you do. You can always build up more effectively on anything you do in life through effort and practice. Right. If you have a problem, there is a solution. You just haven't found it yet. So, you need to, like, work through certain... So if you have a stutter and you're like, oh, maybe what can I do differently? It's think outside the box.
00:19:05
If you're not communicating well or if you're not doing something like at the standard you want, you just have to keep practicing, going back to that 10,000-hour rule. Absolutely. Right? And so the other example I had of this is Matilda. Okay. Matilda is a prime example where she held in everything. She never said anything. She always was quiet. She kept to herself. She kept her voice in. But as soon as she started, like, thinking and starting to speak, right, she got magic.
00:19:35
Right. And that was her thing, right? So when she started to feel herself and she started to be within herself, like, that's when she started to have that power. And I think that goes back to all the things that we talk about with the here within, right, is that you have specific gifts to bring to this world. You do. And the more that you practice, the more that you come in and you sort through them and you discover what's really going on inside. And you find meaning and purpose. You can then transform the world. Yep. And you, you alone, and I look at the camera as I say this, you are the only one that can deliver your gifts.
00:20:09
No one else. They're your gifts and yours alone, and you are the only one that can deliver those. So please remember that. If something is blocking you, if something's giving you a fear, if something's causing you anxiousness, come to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center. We want to help you with that because we need your gifts. Yes. The world needs your gifts, and you are the only one that can manifest them. Absolutely. So until next time. Until next time. Thank you for listening to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast, Capes and Conversation. If you or someone you know is challenged, struggling, or needs someone to talk to, you matter, you are important,
00:20:44
and please reach out to us via our website or social media, which can be found in our show notes. And if you have a topic of conversation about a favorite character's heroic journey, please let us know, as we would love to talk about it on our show. Until next time, unlock the hero within. Your adventure awaits with us.