If You Make It, We Make It, with Blaine Hogan

SUMMARY

In this conversation, Kim Rapach interviews Blaine, an actor and creative director, about his experiences in the entertainment industry and his journey towards healing and recovery. They discuss the importance of creating a supportive and holistic environment for artists, the power of vulnerability and authenticity, and the significance of facing fear and taking risks. Blaine shares his family motto, which emphasizes kindness, courage, embracing failure, and doing things even when afraid. Overall, the conversation highlights the transformative power of self-love, healing, and community support.

KEYWORDS

entertainment industry, healing, recovery, holistic health, vulnerability, authenticity, fear, risk-taking, self-love, community support

TAKEAWAYS

• Creating a supportive and holistic environment is crucial for the well-being of artists in the entertainment industry.
• Vulnerability and authenticity are powerful tools for personal and artistic growth.
• Facing fear and taking risks is essential for personal and professional development.
• Self-love and healing are transformative and can lead to a fulfilling life and career.
• Community support plays a vital role in the journey towards healing and recovery.

TITLES

• The Transformative Power of Self-Love and Healing
• The Power of Vulnerability and Authenticity in Art

SOUND BITES

• "I just feel really, really lucky to have the opportunity to meet so many"
• "He is kind, vulnerable, authentic."
• "I took a photo is what I did, like a real amateur."

CHAPTERS

00:00
Introduction and Background

04:27
Connecting Through Shared Experiences

10:27
The Journey of Healing and Creativity

20:27
The Pressure of Success and the Normalization of Struggles

27:35
The Importance of Self-Care and Embracing Creativity in All Aspects of Life

38:11
The Power of Storytelling and the Impact of Personal Growth

41:11
Family Motto and Embracing Fear

42:30
WOW Outro.MOV

Creators & Guests

Host

Kim Rapach

Creator & Host - The Work of Warriors

Guest

Blaine Hogan

For nearly a decade, Blaine acted professionally (SAG-AFTRA, AEA) on television and in theaters across the country. His passion for acting and deeply heartfelt performances made the move to creating his own work a natural and seamless one. As a writer and director he’s spent the last 10 years creating short films, documentaries, and music videos that range from high concept to homey — from bold and brash to brave and beautiful. He is also the author of Exit the Cave, a tender but fierce story of survival, reckoning, and redemption.

What is The Work of Warriors?

A warrior is defined as one who is in conflict and sacrifices themselves for the
good of others. Sadly, in the entertainment industry, and the world of
entrepreneurship, this perspective is dangerous. To stay alive, amidst our
struggles, we must first fight for ourselves and then fight for the masses. My
name is Kim Rapach and I am an integrative coach on a mission to end celebrity
suicide. My life’s work is to help entrepreneurs and entertainers escape the
darkness that often accompanies high levels of success. What an honor it is to
have crucial conversations around entertainment, entrepreneurship, and mental
health. “The Work of Warriors” is a series of brave conversations with talented
entertainers, and entrepreneurs who are not only using their gifts to make the
world a better place, they are modeling mental wellness in ways that inspire
others. For our purpose of bringing healing to the world, a warrior’s task is to take
great care of themselves, so they may take great care of others. The work of a
warrior, for us, is someone who has radical self-acceptance and uses their gifts to
make a profound impact on the world. If we are going to have a positive impact
on the entertainment industry, we need to do THREE things: 1. Normalize candid
conversations around mental health 2. Redefine success so that it aligns with
mental wellness 3. Engage with each other from a place of self-love, and healthy
boundaries When we fight for ourselves, we heal the world. Therefore, the world
needs more people who are willing to fight for themselves. As warriors on the
front lines, it is our greatest hope that these conversations will inspire high
achievers to care well for themselves and ask for help when they need it.
Together, we are all warriors, redefining mental health as mental wellness, and
healing the world, one warrior at a time. SPECIAL NOTE To all entertainers,
without all of you, we have nothing. Sincerely, thank you for your work, for using
your gifts to heal the world. If you are struggling, please reach out to your local
community resources, or call the National Suicide Hotline, 988.

Kim Rapach (00:01.174)
Hi Blaine.

Blaine (00:02.619)
Hi, Kim!

Kim Rapach (00:04.418)
Thanks for being here. Welcome to the work of warriors.

Blaine (00:07.395)
It's my pleasure. Um, I must begin with an apology, um, because you called me. A long time ago and you were like, I have this idea. I want to do this podcast and you, I think we're kind of like picking my brain a little bit. Like, do you think this is a good idea? Um, and then you invited me to be your very first guest. And I was like, yes, absolutely. And.

I think now this is your second season, is that what you said? That's right. So, um, way to go.

Kim Rapach (00:40.036)
It is. It is.

Kim Rapach (00:45.595)
Thank you for your support. I appreciate it.

Blaine (00:46.915)
Yep. And I'm so happy to finally be doing this. So it's amazing. Sure.

Kim Rapach (00:53.826)
Well, I trust the timing and I appreciate your support. And I did call you and ask you if it was a good idea. You know, I remember the call, you know, I wanna just provide a space for artists to just be, to be human beings, to be people, to not have to produce or perform. And I'm really, really passionate about just making a contribution to bringing mental wellness to the entertainment industry and ultimately eradicating celebrity suicide. And so,

Just having you in my back pocket was a gift to be able to bounce that off of you. And I trust the timing. And also, you know what? That was more, I mean, that was, gosh, a year ago. More of a season where I can't do this by myself. Will you help me? And again, trusting the timing. I had to figure it out and here we are and it's going really well. And yeah, we're in season two and I've met.

Blaine (01:39.441)
Mm-hmm.

Blaine (01:48.495)
Well, that was my plan all along to offer lots of help and then yank the rug out from under you and be like, do it yourself and then, um, not return text messages or phone calls in timely manner. Um, but it was all part of my master plan. And.

Kim Rapach (02:06.386)
Well, I've already told our listeners you're a creative genius. So clearly you are a mental health genius too, right?

Blaine (02:11.503)
When did you tell them that? I must have missed that part of the introduction. That's very generous of you.

Kim Rapach (02:18.289)
I'm sorry.

Yeah, no, it's exciting. I've met a lot of really great people, a lot of creative people, people who've, you know, they've had their share of adversity and loss and seasons of darkness, if you will, and who have risen to bring hope and tell the rest of us you're not alone. And it's wonderful to meet all these people, but it's also fun when I get to sit in the room, quote unquote room with someone that I know.

And so I'm just, I'm so excited that you're here. And I'm, whether we were doing this podcast or not, you know, I'd be excited just to sit and have coffee with you.

Blaine (02:58.727)
Same.

Kim Rapach (03:00.166)
So we go back, I was thinking about it almost 10 years.

Blaine (03:01.299)
It's a gift.

Blaine (03:08.935)
That's probably true, yeah.

Kim Rapach (03:10.946)
So we were part of the same church and my son was acting and I had sent you his resume and he ended up in a big Christmas production and it was so fun. And we've just stayed in touch ever since and our friends with some of the same people have had some similar experiences with life and the church. And I think one of our biggest connections though, Blaine, is our stories.

Blaine (03:13.35)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (03:39.562)
You and I have a lot of experience with, you know, trauma in childhood and doing very similar work within ourselves, the same type of work, story work, trauma work, therapy, and, you know, trying to build a life that's very different from where we came from, right? I just, I think that's the strongest connection that I feel to you.

Blaine (04:01.351)
Yep.

Blaine (04:06.024)
Hmm.

Kim Rapach (04:06.102)
Like today, you know, this morning, honestly, the day was starting out a little rough. And as I was looking at my schedule, I was like, even if like, there's just certain people in your life that you don't have to talk to all the time. And you don't even really have to say a lot about what's going on, but you know. That they're doing life in a similar way. They get life, you know, the same way they're taking intentional steps every day to protect their mental health. And it just, it felt like such a gift today. And like I said,

Even as I say that right now, I just trust the timing. So, right.

Blaine (04:39.395)
Totally. Yeah. Well, and I do have to say, a very big connection point for me personally, is that when I was still living in Chicago, and you had a private therapy practice, you said, Hey, I have this extra office space. Is this a place maybe that you would want to use? And maybe there's some collaboration opportunities there?

Um, and, uh, I really did at that time need a place to go because I had left the church, um, my job there and was looking to kind of figure out a new way of, um, creating outside of that space. And I was working on this very, very beginnings of a book and I started writing my book. Um,

in that office on that desk that was an old wooden desk that I think you had salvaged from an elementary school art teacher. Is that right? Yep. And so you'd filled that with all kinds of art supplies and stuff and you were using it and you'd use it for art therapy when you had kids I think often.

Kim Rapach (05:48.226)
That's correct.

Kim Rapach (05:59.056)
Yeah. And I was doing art therapy online workshops.

Blaine (06:01.875)
That's right. And so the first sentences of my book were typed on that desk. And I just remember how grateful I was that I had this space to go to, but that it had been curated in such a sweet way for my own personality that I was like, oh, this could not be a better place to be able to disappear into and go and work on this book. So.

Thank you for that time, which feels so long ago.

Kim Rapach (06:32.65)
Yeah. Oh my gosh. Such an honor. It does. It does. Yeah. Can you say a little bit about your book? It's so powerful.

Blaine (06:42.347)
Um, thank you. Uh, yes, the book is called exit the cave, embracing a life of courage, creativity, and radical imagination. And it's essentially my story of, um, how I, uh, survive trauma and addiction. Um, and the way in which I did that was by understanding a new definition of. Creativity and, um,

So it kind of chronicles my life from being an actor to almost losing my life to sex addiction to experiencing a tremendous amount of success as an actor simultaneously beginning to fall apart at the seams and needing to make a very dramatic change really to kind of save my life, which took me to a seminary in Seattle.

under the tutelage of a guy named Dan Allender, and it's really where I did my story work for the first time, and really began to understand how my past was helping me to imagine a future and forcing me to live kind of stuck in a present that I couldn't figure out how to get out of. And it really just tells the story of that journey from...

acting to, you know, of course when your acting career is about to take off, the most logical thing to do is to go to seminary for two years and then never return to acting again but instead work at a megachurch for 10 years as their creative director where that offers you the opportunity to go to a DIY film school, which is what I did.

And then, you know, as so often is the case with white evangelical mega churches that are celebrity driven, it fell apart. And I went into commercial directing and, you know, I've kind of found myself now into, you know, doing mostly that. But the book is, you know, that's sort of a travel log. But at its heart, it's me trying to tell my story in a way.

Blaine (09:07.283)
that might help others who have struggled with abuse, addiction, our artists or creatives and are needing someone to go, how did you do it or how did you stay alive? And I'm not sure I answer that question very well, except that I was one of the lucky ones that has been able to stay alive. And I was...

just trying to tell my story in the hopes that it would give people hope or help people feel the freedom to tell their own story, which I think is the way out. And it's the way to sing alive truly as a creative person.

Kim Rapach (09:55.542)
Yeah, absolutely. And when you were, when your acting career was taken off, when you were, you know, achieving that level of success, and then even, even in the church, you achieved success in that environment, right? You were very successful, you were very appreciated, well known, adored. How connected in those spaces, especially in the beginning, maybe at the church, but you know, with your acting career, how connected to your story? Were you

Like the success is happening. Would you say you were running from it? You were attuned to it?

Blaine (10:32.215)
Um, I think I was not aware of how deeply my past was affecting my present. I don't think I realized entirely how much, um, my abuse, which was, um, sexual abuse, um, at the hands of two older boys when I was growing up around the age of 10, um, the fact that my dad was an alcoholic and a sex addict.

and my mom had lots of health issues. Growing up in that system, I don't think I realized in those moments when I was acting and acting out how those things were connected. And I think that's why what happened happened. So as I was achieving success and going back and forth to New York and auditioning for Broadway producers

getting my side card on a TV show and working at the best theaters in Chicago and some would say the world, I was experiencing a level of anxiety and panic attacks that I'd never experienced before the kind of ones that were taking me to the hospital because I was convinced I was dying. And if some of your audience knows the book, The Body Keeps the Score.

What was happening was my body had held all of this trauma and pain, and it was trying to use the coping mechanisms of addiction to numb that pain until the coping mechanisms no longer worked. The high that I was trying to get from my acting out was not sufficient enough to quell the anxiety within. And, uh, the body just, my body's just.

wouldn't let me go and thank God for that. And it was only then when I found myself outside of myself, when my body just was screaming at me, that then I started to very minimally connect the dots. And it was that led me to, you know, what essentially was a two-year recovery program, trying to understand my story. And

Blaine (12:59.399)
How did I get to where I was? And so, yeah, that's kind of how I would describe how connected I was. So my body was, my body knew, my body was super connected, but I had not put the pieces together exactly.

Kim Rapach (13:09.164)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (13:16.958)
Yeah. And again, I'm so grateful for how you communicated that. I mean, in the book, but also here, because I just think it's so common. And I want these conversations to happen. Because I think part of where we lose people is we're thinking what's wrong with me. I can't get high enough. I can't win a big enough award. I can't perform on a big enough stage. What is wrong with me?

Blaine (13:44.455)
Yep. Yeah. Especially because it is like, you're the hustle is real and you have to keep grinding and you can have it's a numbers game and you have to be in the right place at the right time. And it's like the alchemy of how to make it work is so mysterious. And and yet the goals can feel so defined in like if I just get this.

If I just get that show, if I just sell this script, if I just get discovered. And I think what was the gift for me was that even though it was like a moderate level of success, like it wasn't stardom, it wasn't big dollars, it wasn't, you know, it was just like, I had done what 98% of people who have a SAG card,

were not able to do in any given year, which was make a living just doing acting. But it was enough of a taste of it to know that like that, and also the other things I was trying to do to get high wasn't working anymore. And I look back at those experiences now, and I'm so very grateful because I was able to realize and get a picture of

how the mountaintop wasn't going to cover it and there was no mountaintop I could achieve that would ever make it go away. And so then you're faced with, well, I guess I just got to figure out then what's going on. But it's our daughter right now, she's 12 and she's in a musical. She's in Susical the musical. And she's a really great performer and has a really lovely voice.

Kim Rapach (15:35.158)
I loved it.

Blaine (15:42.047)
And the way that they do it is they have two casts, a red cast and a blue cast. And there was an additional show added and they were trying to figure out, well, who's gonna perform? And so they decided that the middle school director decided she was going to create a purple cast and it was going to be on merit and it was gonna be on all these things. And so there's been a lot of stress over who's gonna get chosen to be in the purple cast.

character or the, you know, well, ultimately she didn't get the, she wasn't chosen for the Purple cast and there's a billion different reasons why. And she's just been feeling this anxiety and pressure and we went away on a little vacation so she wasn't at rehearsal. And so she'd been dreading going back and we just were talking about how normal all of this is. Like,

the anxiety, even though it's, you know it's the thing you love more than anything, but the anxiety that you feel before you do the thing is almost debilitating. Or trying to understand that you don't get that part, that means as now a director on the other side of the table, I'm now able to go, oh my gosh, the reasons why I don't cast someone are

so many that have nothing to do with their talent. And in fact, now I'm getting into the habit, especially in callbacks, to explain that to every performer. Even if it's 30 seconds, I say, the alchemy of how we'll make this decision is so bizarre. And I want you to know that however this lands, it has nothing to do with your talent and who you are as a human and as an artist.

Um, and realizing like, man, I wish I would have had that gift to know that from a director standpoint, someone told me that to remind me that that's true. To not hold the power to myself and feel like I'm going all over the place. Um,

Kim Rapach (17:45.428)
Yeah.

Kim Rapach (17:49.398)
No, no, I'm grateful. I just want to say thank you for doing that. You know, as a mother of an actor, there was one instance where Mac had was really close to getting a role in a very popular teen show, if you will. And last minute, almost to LA, last minute, nevermind, they changed everything. They don't want to see you anymore. We're trying to explain this to a 10-year-old, right?

Blaine (18:11.687)
Yep. Right.

Kim Rapach (18:15.582)
And then you see the show, we saw the episode and this kid was in a completely different profile. But it gave us language for it really doesn't have anything to do with that. And if you love it, keep doing it. But I'm grateful that you as a director are doing that. And it's in alignment with that idea. You know, if I go back a little bit where we were talking about where people struggle, you know, I think sometimes we're running from our story, wondering what's wrong with us.

Blaine (18:25.715)
Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Kim Rapach (18:44.554)
And if we can normalize the conversation that you are a human being living in a huge living in a human world with a human experience. And if you also have significant trauma, it's you're going to fall right into that hustle and grind busy and not having to look back.

Blaine (19:01.415)
Yeah, that's right.

Blaine (19:06.035)
Totally, and I think the thing I would want to say about the normalization of it is particularly for someone who would see themselves as a creative person or as an artist, your superpower is your sensitivity to like your antennas are up to be like, ooh, what's that feeling? Or how do I articulate this idea? And it will only magnify some of those things that make you continue to feel like you're an outsider.

and you're alone and you're not normal and you're wondering what's wrong with me. And it's, you know, the gift, or if I had one to give, it would be a reminder to say that's the most, I'm so, it's probably the worst thing that an artist could hear. It's like, that's the most normal thing. I'm sorry, it's so normal, it's boring.

Kim Rapach (20:00.992)
It's so weird.

Blaine (20:01.947)
and to embrace that you're just like the rest of us who are bizarre and weird theater kids who had issues with our families and all of it. Like that's just so normal. It's just so normal.

Kim Rapach (20:16.435)
Bye.

Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the, I would love to hear you say just a little bit more, you know, if someone maybe is struggling and you know, what's wrong with me, and they were sitting across from you. And they were wondering, like, what's the point? What would you say? What would you say to them?

Blaine (20:39.911)
Um, say more when you say, what's the point?

Kim Rapach (20:42.946)
Like, what's the point? Why keep going, whether it be in the career, or like you said, thank God you're still here. Not everybody's still here. We lose so many artists to mental health, to addiction, to suicide. And I think it has so much to do with that wrestle of having this inner brilliance, having this creativity, but also having this story that I don't.

Blaine (20:46.951)
Hmm.

Blaine (20:50.875)
Yes. Yep.

Kim Rapach (21:12.15)
particularly want to look at and not knowing like you said, not knowing that they were even connected. Just trying to numb the pain of that and if someone was maybe in that space and looked at you and said, what's wrong with me? Why can't I figure this out?

What would you say?

Blaine (21:32.067)
I think the answer that is often given, and it's incredibly valid, is we need you. We need you. Where I think that in some ways that falls short is when you're trying to decide whether or not you should stay.

you don't have a lot of self-confidence. So hearing that you're needed, I think sometimes feels like pressure. And I think it sometimes feels like, no, who needs me? And I think a different answer that I have been thinking about recently is you need you. Like your gift to the world

is hidden in your story. And the pain that you're feeling right now is like the beginning of the hero's journey to start stepping into unlocking the thing that you're truly to become. That's where I'm kinda like, it's the most boring thing ever, because what's a good story? It's a character who wants something and overcomes an obstacle to get it. So like,

You are the story. And on the other side of that work is your best work, which is your life.

and the residual output of that. And so then you can play it out and go like, well, then we need that, we need that story. We need you to do that work so that we can get, you know, get the benefit of you having done that work. But again, I think sometimes that feels like an added pressure.

Blaine (23:39.691)
that someone who's debating whether or not they should stay here is probably unnecessarily harsh. And so I think that's what I would say is like you, your greatest gift to yourself and the world is on the other side of the pain that you're feeling and the pain is the beginning of the process.

And so lean into it. Um, and let's find a safe place for you to do that.

Kim Rapach (24:19.666)
I love that. Thank you. I got chills when you were talking because I agree. We need you feels like pressure and I can, you know, speak to that personally as someone who my gift is to take care of people. And in my darkest days, it's like, I can't take care of one more person can't even take care of myself. And so thank you for saying that it's, it's not a pressure of you have to take care of the rest of us. And, you know, the whole idea in my definition of a warrior.

is someone who takes care of themselves first so that they can have a greater impact. However that may be, not necessarily in your career, it might be in your family, changing generational trauma, how you, you know, the impact you have when you go to the coffee shop, it all matters.

Blaine (25:07.815)
Yeah, and I think that that's one of the things, I think that's what truly saved my life is because I had figured out the artistic output of art and creativity pretty well, but it wasn't changing my life. And then when I started to apply some of those principles to my actual life, I realized

Blaine (25:37.571)
And so those coffee shop conversations, like that is art. That is creativity. Those new ways of being in the world. That's literally art. And I think that as I have embraced that more, one, it makes the losses feel much more manageable because the fails are still horrifically hard and many and great.

I'm pitching on things, I'm writing treatments, I'm sending scripts, I'm cold email calling, all of the things that you need to do to try and continue to make it as a creative professional. But when I realized that's not my only output for creativity, it changes the impact that those career things have because I get to do that in every conversation with my wife.

I get to imagine a different future for my family and my daughters. I get to do that in walking out the door. I get to do that in how I'll spend my time. And I feel like the holistic view of creativity that I feel like is probably what I'm trying to say in the book. And I don't know if I do a good job of that, but it is what I'm trying to say with my life. It's like the...

portfolio is massive and it's in lots of different facets. I mean, we're all multi-hyphenate artists if you begin to look at it that way. And that the creativity is so much more robust if you are willing to enter into some of those stories and pain points to listen.

Kim Rapach (27:28.566)
Well, the book changed my life. I loved it from, I mean, you're also very funny. So the way you tell some really hard stories is very creative. So I'm like, yeah, yeah. But it just, it touched me. And again, I resonate so much with your story. But I was wondering for people who have read or will read your book, can you just give a brief?

Blaine (27:38.826)
Okay, I'm glad that makes you laugh.

Kim Rapach (27:55.81)
summary of where you are today because where you are today, as we were talking before we got on the call, like, it just even from this side of the world, it feels so meant to be and it feels so true because I believe that when we are taking radically good care of ourselves in our personal lives, that's when the rest of the world opens up not that everything works out perfectly and there is an adversity or challenge. I'm not saying that. But it just starts to feel true and right.

Blaine (28:20.348)
Yeah.

Blaine (28:23.703)
Yeah, so it's pretty helpful to pick up the travelogue a little bit. So I thought I was taking a two-year hiatus, excuse me, I thought I was taking a two-year hiatus by going to this school. And that turned into a forever hiatus from acting. And then I mentioned how I found myself at a megachurch and then the megachurch fell apart. But.

The benefit of the creative work was I kind of put myself through a DIY film school and pretty new like, oh, I want to write and direct. This is really what I want to do. I think this is my core. And when the church fell apart, it fell apart in such a massive way that 12 families, the people that we thought, you know,

even if we were going to work at the church or even be like members of the church, these were our people for the next 30 years. 12 different families all left the state within about a year's time because the explosion and fallout of what had happened at the church was so profound. And so for about a year, Margaret and my wife and our girls, we were like, what do we do? Do we uproot? Do we reroute? It was this kind of binary question.

Um, and, uh, I think what we began to feel is that we, we were needing to go on an adventure where we were going to, uh, I think, I think what the, and this is, I think true in, in any big explosion that happens in your life, the, the pain is trying to tell you something. And what it told us was that maybe we had been following a script that we hadn't written.

something that had been laid out for us and we thought this was the path. But because the explosion was so great and it obliterated the path, at first you go like, well, where the fuck is the path? Like, what do we do now? And then you start to realize like, well, maybe that wasn't the path we were supposed to be on anyway, because it's no longer there. So you might as well imagine something different.

Blaine (30:41.923)
And that was not, I say that flippantly, it was gut wrenchingly difficult to begin to even imagine something different. Um, but one of the best piece of advice, pieces of advice we got was from my best friend, um, Jared, who actually talked about quite a bit in the book. Um, he said, well, so why don't you just go try places on? I was like, well, how do you do that? Like just sell your house and put all of your stuff in storage and go.

um, do, uh, rentals, like our kids need school and, you know, we need to, um, uh, we need to, that's not, no one does that. Um, well then COVID happened and COVID in all of its, like, exploding continually, the, the industry that we were in, like, how do you shoot? How do you do jobs? You know, I was once, once

All of our girls were in remote school and I was doing directing Nike commercials from our bedroom closet. All of a sudden we were like, oh, well, maybe we can go try these places on because everything had been made available to us. And so that's exactly what we did. We went to L.A. for a little bit and we were like, OK, we kind of get a sense for what that is. Then we went to Nashville because it's a

a creative hub and we thought that was going to maybe be a good fit. And it was lovely because my brother and his family were there, but it wasn't exactly who we were. And we knew Atlanta and New York were kind of the other two on the list. And I had done a lot of work in Atlanta and we came to Atlanta and we never left. And now it feels like this is really where we're supposed to be. And I'll say very specifically, we live just south of the city.

little town called Fayetteville, in about maybe 10, 12 years ago, Pinewood Studios, which is a UK very famous studio, where Star Wars, Harry Potter, all these places, all these movies were shot. They wanted to create a U.S. entity, and so they did that. And then they were like, well, we don't want to grow. There were lots of different reasons. And anyway, the name changed and got a new owner.

Blaine (33:06.519)
And now it's called Trillith Studios, and it's the largest single film lot in North America. Everything from Disney and Marvel is being shot here. And that's where we live. We literally live in a little town that is across the street from the studios. And so I go on a run and I see the next Marvel film slingshotting a car that's on fire or

I run into Harrison Ford at the pizza shop or Shia LaBeouf and John Voight are running lines outside the bakery or Francis Ford Coppola is shooting what will likely be his last film on the backlot which is My Neighborhood and I just walk on set for four hours until they realize that I shouldn't be there. And

Kim Rapach (34:00.041)
If anybody could blend in, I mean, you've got a few skills. You've got a few tricks up your sleeve.

Blaine (34:03.915)
I did my, I'll tell you what my, um, uh, my, my one gaffe and I, I know not to do this, um, Adam Driver is starring in it's called Megalopolis it's Francis Forte Coppola's Swan song. Um, and I, my best friend Jared, his wife is obsessed with Adam Driver and he was walking off set and I, I took a photo is what I did, like a real amateur.

And the photo is of Adam Driver and his security person looking right at me, which the photo I quickly deleted and was kicked off set. That's what happened there. But, you know, we are, the town of Trilith is meant to be kind of like, you know, you think of

Kim Rapach (34:45.657)
Cute.

Kim Rapach (34:48.997)
Oh my goodness.

Blaine (34:59.627)
old-timey, you know, the Ford company. They would build a factory and then they build housing for their employees across the street. And that's kind of what is happening here as Atlanta is becoming, you know, kind of the new Hollywood and a really official hub for big, big feature films, TV, and as well. And now we're sort of like in the heart of it, but what is different about it is that it,

cares deeply about the health, holistic health, of the creative person. It is, you know, and a very tangible example of this is a sort of all addiction invitation group is held in the pool house, like we have, there's a little community pool. In the pool house, that's a hundred,

Kim Rapach (35:37.279)
I love that so much.

Blaine (35:57.939)
feet from my front door. Um, and we've got lots of people that we're, you know, we're handing out pamphlets at the studios, um, trying to say, Hey, you don't have to, you don't have to, um, lose your life to find it. Um, it, you could, you could just pop over at, at lunch and we have it timed so that we can start the meeting.

And then if someone is only on their 30 minute lunch break, because they're on a studio show, that they can pop over, do the meeting, and then be able to return back to the show that they're on. And so, in 2018, when I do a quick little backup, when everything exploded and we thought the world was over and nothing, the path has been obliterated.

A year and a half later, COVID begins and our entire industry is thrown into, you know, utter turmoil. We couldn't have imagined this place even existed. And now, you know, five years later, here we are and it could not be more perfect. It is sort of like...

a miracle on display for us and for our family. To be able to continue to do the creative work that we want to do in a very, very specific niche, but also to be a place where our family can thrive is quite a gift. And, you know, I'll go back even further to 2005, which is almost 20 years now, when my internal explosion occurred.

Um, I mean, I get chills just saying that because I, I didn't, I didn't know if I was going to make it. And, um, here I am. And.

Kim Rapach (38:02.854)
Yeah, and I mean, I'm so glad you're here. And that's why we keep going. Right? Because you cannot possibly imagine what's on the other side of that pain. If you love yourself enough to get the care to do the work, the inner work to heal, you just you can't even imagine what's waiting on the other side.

Blaine (38:06.387)
Yeah, it is an

Blaine (38:21.499)
Well, and I think the word also is that we love you. And we really, I know I'm gonna, you know, art is hypocrisy, so we do need you. And one of the things we say in our recovery group is, if you make it, we make it. And I think about that a lot.

Kim Rapach (38:37.655)
Yeah.

Blaine (38:49.591)
You know, even just I look around and go, oh, that person's making it, or just making a different choice in an ever so slight way, gives me courage to be like, I can make it. And it is communal. And so I think about that a lot. And I guess that's maybe what I would want to end with is just saying that, like, if you make it, we make it.

Kim Rapach (39:15.474)
Yeah, that's right in alignment with when artists are well, everybody wins. Yeah. So one quick question before you go, you have art in your town. That is your family motto. Will you share that with us before you go?

Blaine (39:21.63)
That's right.

Blaine (39:32.399)
Yes, yeah. Yes, there, when the book released, I convinced the town and the person who was in charge of public art to commission an artist to create a mural of our family motto, which appears in the last chapter of the book, Exit the Cave. And it's very simple and it's what we say to our daughters every single day. Be kind.

Have courage. Fail. Ask for help. And the most important, we'll say, Hogan's, and then everyone says, do it afraid. And that's probably the most important one to us because I think we, I recognize that every time I go on set, I'm still scared. When I was acting, every time before I went on stage, I was so terrified. I was like, why do I do this?

Kim Rapach (40:14.958)
Hmm

Blaine (40:32.051)
And then I would step on and step into it and I would be like, oh, this is what I was made to do. And I think too often we tell people to be fearless, to have no fear. But I'm not sure that is a human experience. Certainly sometimes we feel more brave than we feel afraid. But I think more often we feel more afraid than we feel courageous.

And what we say to our girls is you can be scared, but you are also brave. And so the work is not to eradicate the fear, the work is to feel the fear and keep going. So do it afraid.

Kim Rapach (41:13.702)
Yeah, I love that.

Kim Rapach (41:18.174)
I love that. And I don't want to minimize, you know, your kiddos experiences. It's going to be hard to be human no matter who you are. And I don't want to minimize that, but also to know your story of you growing up and know their experience and how different that is and how hard you and Margaret have worked to end generational trauma. Like it literally changes the world. I'm so honored. Like I'm on tear up and so honored to know you. And I'm grateful you're here.

Blaine (41:43.799)
Oh, thank you. Thank you for being such a huge part of my story and why I am still here. So thank you.

Kim Rapach (41:52.354)
Thank you.

We'll chat soon.

Blaine (41:56.585)
Alright Kim, I love you.

Kim Rapach (41:58.238)
I love you too. Thanks, Blaine. Oh, and I didn't even say, but I'll put it in the show notes. You have a website and a book and people should be following you because you, you're just a really amazing human. So I'll put that in the notes.

Blaine (42:00.679)
You're welcome. Thank you.

Blaine (42:11.027)
Thanks. It was a pleasure. See you in Atlanta.

Kim Rapach (42:14.402)
Thanks. Yeah, soon.

Blaine (42:18.087)
Yeah.