#45 From “White Trash” to Award-Winning Leader | My Story of Resilience, Growth & Becoming

Show Notes

A lot of the self limiting beliefs keeping you stuck weren't actually your beliefs. They’re inherited. Absorbed. Repeated so often by other people that eventually they started sounding like truth.

In this episode of Rooted & Relentless, Steph gets brutally honest about the comments, relationships, and experiences that shaped her self-worth for years — from being told she’d always be “white trash” to believing she wasn’t capable of more. But this isn’t a revenge story.

It’s a story about realizing the life you want is actually possible when you stop letting other people’s limitations dictate your future.

Steph shares:

1. The mindset shifts that changed everything
2. How survival mode fueled her growth
3. Why self-limiting beliefs usually aren’t yours to begin with
4. The importance of boundaries and support systems
5. What it looks like to step into the identity of the person you want to become
6. Why clarity is the first step toward creating the life you actually want

This one is raw, emotional, empowering, and probably going to make you want to burn your old belief system to the ground.

Memorable Moments

“A lot of the problems in your business and your life stem from your self-limiting beliefs… but they didn’t start as yours.”

“It was me all along.”

“You can do actually any freaking thing you want.”

“If you set this crazy big terrifying target and never reach it, you’ll still be happier marching toward it than pretending you never wanted it.”

“Don’t let the notions of insecure idiots dictate your life.”

Resources & Links

Access Your Terrifying Vision Experience. Because getting where you want to go starts with knowing where that is: https://www.stephrubio.com/your-terrifying-vision?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Connect on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/virtually_stephrubio?utm_source=chatgpt.com

What is Rooted & Relentless?

Rooted & Relentless is the business strategy podcast for entrepreneurs building service-based businesses designed to grow, adapt, and last. Business strategist Steph Rubio shares practical guidance on a range of topics meant to help you sell, scale, and stabilize.
Think sustainable business growth, revenue strategy, systems, capacity, client experience, and the founder leadership required to turn your skills into a successful, sustainable company.

Steph Rubio: I want to talk about something today that I think it's going to be inspirational, but I also don't know how to talk about it without like giving the wrong impression. So, I mean, that's why I have this podcast. Instead of trying to find the right words, I'm just going to explain everything. ⁓ Basically, I just kind of want to draw a line to like letting the haters feel you, which sounds so lame because Well, that's a wrap on this episode of Rooted and Relentless. If it made you laugh, nod alone, or grab that cute little notebook of yours and scribble something down, hit me with the SSR, subscribe, share, and review. As in, leave a review. Thanks for hanging. Bye. Hey, I'm Steph Rubio, your go-to for no-nonsense chit chat on growing a business and life that you actually love. Around here, we're rooted in who we are, even if we're still learning to love her, getting clear on where we want to go, and we're relentless in our pursuit to get there. I don't do anything that I do to like slap my haters in the face and it sounds so lame to say haters. So please don't turn the episode off right now. Lean in to listen to what I'm saying because there's going to be an important lesson here. just struggle with like how to talk about it. So it's just, I've, I've accomplished a lot lately. A lot of things that like make me bone deep, proud, honored, feel a little crazy, pinch me, is this happening? ⁓ We get into the nitty gritty of growth in life and in business, money, identity, boundaries, healing, leadership, parenting, partners, and all the messy bits in between. If you're ready to grow on your own terms, laugh a lot, possibly cry a little, maybe laugh until we cry if we're lucky, then hit subscribe and let's get into it. This is Rooted and Relentless, Like I won my first award in business for being a leader and that means so much to me. When I talked about winning this award recently, it's a Power Table 100 award. I've been honored for being a leader in the industry, which is just like, oh, it's going to make me cry here and I don't want to do that. I told people when I found out I won this award that I wasn't even going to apply. I didn't even think that award was something I wanted or needed. Like I don't care. Grab your notepad and hold on to your tits. This one's for you. about the accolades and the rewards and stuff like that. I do what I do because I freaking love it because I know that the knowledge I give people helps them change their businesses and their lives. know that knowledge is power because that knowledge can be used to grow a successful business to make the money someone wants to live the life they want. And they can do that again for another business and again for another business. And I'm so freaking proud of that. I love it. I love educating people. love taking the knowledge I've gained and giving it to other people so that they can use it. Like, I love it. And that's why I do it. I don't do it to get an award. But when I won this, when I found that out, I realized it did mean a lot to me, more than I realized. So I'm so happy. Three people nominated me. I still don't know who it was. I'm so proud that they took the time to do so. I'm so proud to know that what I'm doing is so impactful to other people. They took the time to do that. Let me just do the weird thing and tell you about a couple things recently that I've accomplished, but then I'll tell you the good shit. Okay? I'll tell you about all the times people have told me that I wasn't going to be anything. In fact, I was told I would be white trash forever. That's what makes this so sweet. These things kind of trickle up and I let that make me even more proud. And this is the part I have struggled to articulate is because it's not like Like that one, that white trash was a high school boyfriend. It is not like now I'm a 36 year old female and I'm like, I'm doing this to show that motherfucker. I don't think about him or that until the weight, like the tsunami crashes over me with how much I've actually done and accomplished. And I talk about it frequently that I've done and accomplished so much because of that survival mode, because of the way I grew up, because of stuff like that, because of how far I've come and run from that to get to where I am. that that was why it was to make money to give my kids a better life to give me a better life and I gained so much knowledge in doing so that's what I can now use to help other people that was the why right and it was because of people like that running from that proving them wrong is just like a sweet cherry on top but it's not like I ever was like I'm gonna do this I'm gonna start this business to prove them wrong you know what I mean I've been on this journey of me for a long time but it still matters so I won my first award. I've also been featured in my first magazine. They approached me and asked, a couple of months ago and I was approached by a big name magazine and offered a Times Square billboard and a cover of their magazine I ended up passing on the opportunity because the investment didn't make sense in the grand scheme of where I can spend money. What they asked for and the amount is better spent for me right now on resources elsewhere, And so I didn't go through with it. It just didn't make sense to me, but I'm still so freaking honored to be considered. And when they actually told me like, it'll be on a part of this campaign after this big name on the cover, I was like, I don't know who that is. I'm going to have to go. I have to go research it because I don't let myself get starstruck. I don't let myself look at people who've been in this space way longer than me and all of their accolades and want to be like them. I don't want to be like anybody. I want to be like me and I want to do have the impact that I'm dreaming of. And I want to take the knowledge I have and not copy pasting it from other people and trying to mimic what they're doing. And so I take pride in that too. I know that there's a strategic layer to that. Like if this person, this big name were to bring in so many eyes and I was on the cover after them, like I get it. I'm always going to filter I need to do, something I need to spend resources on ⁓ through my priorities and what makes sense for me and my where I'm trying to go right now. I'm still so freaking proud to have been approached by them though. Like they approached me, which means what they saw on my social media, my website, my ecosystem, what I'm doing, they valued enough to offer me a chance to be in front of their readers. And I do not take that lightly. I also went from last year only being on one Instagram and not speaking at all to speaking on my first stage to becoming a paid speaker. And I look at all of this first because I was like, ⁓ my God, it's just like, put me on one of those spinning doors, you know, like in the hotels or the restaurants or whatever where like there's a rotating door, like put me in there and spit me out and put me in there and spit me out and put me in there and spit me out. When I look at this stuff and I'm like, ⁓ my God, like that's a lot. And just, just like six months. When did I speak on stage for the first time? September, September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May. So we'll say eight months, right? And just eight months, all of this happened. Now it didn't just happen in eight months. There's a build to this. There's a consistency on social media. There's a leading a community. is putting your thought leadership out there proudly on your podcast and speaking opportunities. So people really know who you are, what you stand for, what your superpowers are that lead up to that. But those accolades have only been in eight months. And when I sit here and think about it, I just laugh at one, sometimes it's like an outer body experience. I don't feel like that person, but I'm learning. that I am her, right? I'm learning. I'm actually working with an embodiment coach and taking this all in instead of just being like, yeah, cool. That's not why I do it. Bye. ⁓ thank you for that. I'll put it on the shelf, you know, true. need to really live in this moment and understand it was me. But the funny part is like back to some of those things I've been told. So you understand I wasn't always this way. The confidence you see, the boldness you see how I proudly share, ⁓ in the way that I share that you see wasn't always this way because like that high school boyfriend I said when we broke up for like you know the little first love thing for like the sixth time or something he told me I would never go to college I would always be white trailer trash you know the way I grew up and it's just funny to me I talked about this a couple years ago because my first brand photos like my first professional ones ⁓ were in my house ⁓ after I got them back and I realized I did this whole thing that represents me and I'm so proud of them I played like the creative direction on a lot of those and I planned my suit kind of exuding the man ⁓ stuff like that and just these different power moves and things that are representative of me and my values. And we decided to do it in my home. ⁓ after I got the photos back, it just settled in my bones. And I thought about that scenario for the first time, you know, being told I'd be white trash forever. ⁓ I was just like, wow, I just got my college degree in 2024. Yes, at the ripe old age of 34, but I got it. ⁓ ⁓ live in an all brick home ⁓ a nice pool in the back, The things don't mean anything to me. I want to clear. They don't mean I care about the things, but ⁓ they are a symbol that ⁓ I have actually been capable of any freaking thing wanted all along. It was I put in the work. I got the knowledge. I put myself in rooms. I made the money and I made this possible Then fast forward though, I had another relationship where there was some psychological abuse ⁓ Obviously one was too, but I feel like lot of boyfriends in high school suck. ⁓ So ⁓ fast forward past high school and I in not great relationship. Once again, there's a theme here and it's because ⁓ I was not psychologically safe ever. I had my own mental health issues. Don't worry. We worked through that. But I was told something similar again, ⁓ that I was the issue that relationships wouldn't last. know, didn't have successful relationships in my own life. And so it wasn't modeled for me and I was the issue and that ⁓ I would never amount to anything. And I was actually at one point, like my kid ⁓ would be divorced one day just like I was because, you I wasn't a set example and I was creating all the same cycles and all of this. But I just want to point out that I am moving into, this is 10 years that like 10 years we got engaged. Next year will be 10 years that we've been together. So we're doing okay on a successful relationship. And we're actually happy. That's the thing. Cause hopefully being through one divorce already will prove that like, it's just a piece paper to me. If we can't choose love and respect, I ain't doing it. I learned that very early on with my ex-husband and I'm not doing it. So for me, I have these accolades and these accomplishments, but I'm also saving for retirement. We also have a couple of investment accounts where we're saving for other things like a nice big trip to Europe for two weeks next year for my husband retiring from the military, the National Guard after 20 years for our 10 year anniversary. We're just going to loop it into one. And so all of these things I was told I would never have anything. It's not just things that I have. It's actual accolades and accomplishments proving prude. keep. like you can see, can't see because my mic is in the way. I have my little ward back here, I need to clean it because it's got my fingertips all over it. I have a beautiful glass award here with my name on it. I have a successful business, I kept jobs for years before I left them because I can have steady income because I am steady, because I am stable. I communicate with my kids, I have an embodiment coach, I've gone to therapy, I'm self-aware, I take ownership. and don't let the things that happen to me bleed all over other people. And that's something I'm so very proud of. I talk about self-limiting beliefs. Like actually a lot of the problems in your business and your life stem from you and your self-limiting beliefs. lot of the problems in your business and your life stem from you and your self-limiting beliefs. But I always say they didn't start as your self-limiting beliefs. They started as someone else's and posed on you and then you absorbed them. That's what happened to me. That's why I spent so long just being okay with the bare minimum, just being okay to be at home with my kids instead of working a sales job, just being okay making a steady paycheck, even if I was still miserable in certain areas because I absorbed these other beliefs. Well, those chains have been broken and I've proven through accolades and awards. But I always say they didn't start as your self-limiting beliefs. They started as someone else's and posed on you and then you absorbed them. That's what happened to me. That's why I spent so long just being okay with the bare minimum, just being okay to be at home with my kids instead of working a sales job, just being okay making a steady paycheck, even if I was still miserable in certain areas because I absorbed these other beliefs. Well, those chains have been broken and I've proven through accolades and awards. that it was me all along. So if there's any message I want you to take away, it's fuck those people. Let it fuel you, but not in an obsessive kind of way that they're the reason you're doing this. You're the reason you're doing this. And you can do actually any freaking thing you want. But it starts with getting crazy clear on what that even is, giving yourself permission to go crazy about what that even is and designing it and saying it out loud, letting yourself own it and believe it. Because once you do, that it was me all along. So if there's any message I want you to take away, it's fuck those people. Let it fuel you, but not in an obsessive kind of way that they're the reason you're doing this. You're the reason you're doing this. And you can do actually any freaking thing you want. But it starts with getting crazy clear on what that even is, giving yourself permission to go crazy about what that even is and designing it and saying it out loud, letting yourself own it and believe it. Because once you do, then you can lay a path to start making it happen. You can step into that. You can own that. And then you start showing up like that. Then you start acting like that. Then you're taking actions to make that reachable and attainable. And you will. And it will be because of you then you can lay a path to start making it happen. You can step into that. You can own that. And then you start showing up like that. Then you start acting like that. Then you're taking actions to make that reachable and attainable. And you will. And it will be because of you and what you wanted. And you won't let the notions of insecure idiots dictate anything. And your support system is absolutely a part of this. So it's just been, well, I keep saying me, it was me. ⁓ It's also this ecosystem the support system around me. The support system you is vital. ⁓ And if people are sucking that life out of you, you got to rid of them. You either have to stop that, stop that, communicate with them, know your boundaries, absolutely knows, and change that in this becoming of yourself. So. If you haven't done that yet, if you haven't stopped and given yourself permission to go crazy deep on what it is you want out of life and in business, I have an exercise for that. It's called your terrifying vision experience because I went through this. I would think things, they would bubble up in my head that I would want or love, and then I would just crush it back down. Yeah, not for us. We're grateful for what we have, all good, but that's not what we're doing here. If you set this crazy big terrifying target, and you never reach it and you still march towards it, you'll be happier than pretending and ignoring like you don't want it. But the chances that you'll make it happen are even greater. So I'll drop that in the show notes. It's a guided experience, but it will prompt you to go really deep in all of these areas. And then you'll have this unique designed vision of your future that is actually from you. And I would love to know what comes out of it if you feel so bold to share with me. Okay, let this fuel you, let the haters hate, as Taylor Swift would have said way long time ago, haters gonna hate, hate, hate. And don't let it stop you, don't let it deter you, don't let people get in the way of your life, because it is your one life here on this earth.