Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
 Millennial with a Masters in Education; Passionate yapper, empathetic listener, & always here to validate your irrational thoughts. This podcast is a dedicated safe space where I share the good, the grim, & the WTF in a day of the life of a high school guidance counselor. Also a dedicated safe space for anyone in education or educator who loves what they do, but needs a drink.
Tea on Year 3
===
[00:00:00] me: Okay. Hi. Hello. This is me tuning in showing sign of Life two days post spring break. I am still alive and well. I am kicking, I am hanging by a thread, but we are closer to summer break. Nonetheless. I think we have like eight weeks left, but I'm not counting, I promise I'm not like sharpeeing off days and weeks on my calendar in my office.
Yeah, we're good. But um, we love break. Spring break was cool. We like spring break. We love winter break. We love summer break. We love any type of break because breaks make us better people. And any teacher, anyone in education, anybody that works at a school is going to tell you that breaks are godsend.
And I really, I really pity anybody who doesn't- Yeah, I, I said pity because what was I doing before this gig? Like paid vacation. I mean, listen, we don't get paid the big bucks down here in Florida, but I'll take the wins where I can get them. Paid holidays, hurricane days, uh, a week off in the middle of the year, two weeks off at the end of the year.
I'll take it. I'll take, I'll take the wins where I can get them. I'm not complaining, but I'm back, and 10 days is never long enough. Hell, 14 days is never long enough. Two months is never long enough. I digress. Um, so I wanted to record a little solo episode and dive in a little deeper in my role and how things are going on year three and me being a school guidance counselor.
but if you are new here. This is Counselor Chronicles, a dedicated safe space where I share the good of the grim, the WTF in a day of the life of a high school guidance counselor. And this is also a dedicated safe space for anyone in education or an educator who loves what they do, but desperately needs that drink.
[00:01:54] Beginning of episode
---
[00:02:00] me: So if you are here, welcome. Uh, today I'm gonna be talking about, I guess, just my time at this school. What I'm learning, my lowest moments, my highest moments. I know I've done that in the past with a teacher friend, but I really wanna give you guys the scoop. I want to share with you guys moments that have changed me, moments that have nearly broken me, but have allowed me to grow and evolve.
I am nowhere near perfect. At this job, right? I'm evolving every day in different, many different areas, but I still have a lot to learn. And every year, I promise you, there's something new that nearly breaks me. But when I overcome it and look back, that hindsight is 20/20. That's real. That is the realest thing I've ever heard because perspective is everything and I needed to go through some of these low pits.
To kind of understand my role a little better and to understand how to navigate through this role better than I did yesterday or last year or last month. So that's pretty much what we're here to do. Definitely wanna give you guys some tea because anyone who really knows me knows that there's never a dull moment at this job and ultimately knows that I low key hate everybody at this job.
And I, and I mean, in my department, not at the school, but we'll get there. So. Yeah. Year three, millennial school guidance counselor in 2026. What's that like? What led me here? Why am I here and is this it? Um,
okay, so let's just jump right into it. How the hell did I get here? And who put me behind this desk? I wanna, I'll tell you what, you know what I, I fucked around for seven years. I have no shame in admitting that I fucked around aimlessly with my education, not knowing exactly where I ended up, that I had so much time on my hands.
You know, you're in your twenties, you think you live forever. Anyway, ended up finding a degree that aligned with the credits I already had, and it ended up being sociology. I loved it, was fascinated with it, sadly, found out that you, you really can't land, make, really make a career out of it unless you become an analyst or, I don't know.
It's such a broad degree. Um, so I went back to grad school because I wanted to find something where I could contribute the strengths that I already had. Which are, I wanna say, counseling, mentoring, teaching of some sort, working with the youth. I'd like to think I'm easy to talk to. So I stumbled across school counseling and it fit like a glove.
I did my master's during the pandemic. What a weird time to be alive. 'cause I never thought I'd be earning a Master's online, but, hey, here we are. So I learned a lot and I can tell you everything I've learned. I'm. I am not gonna say everything, but they prepare you for the exam, but they don't prepare you for like, your job, like, like what you actually encounter on a day to day.
I mean, I can, I can give you an example prime time. Like what does, what does a guidance counselor do? I'll give you an example. Picture this.
We're second day into the semester. I'm up to my eyebrows, up to my cute, my hair follicles, in schedule changes. And I don't just mean schedule changes.
I mean losing three teachers midyear and having to clear out those classrooms and stuff them in already at capacity classrooms, those type of schedule changes. And that's not including the schedule changes of kids who flunked outta their Cambridge or AP courses and need to now go to gen ed.
That doesn't include the amount of phone calls that you're getting about your child's grade for first semester, even though we just got back. It doesn't include your database, your, your whole hub completely crashing on the first day back. That does not include confused parents. I mean, it's safe to say I didn't take a lunch .
What else can I say? Oh, oh. And imagine having to speak at an assembly at the end of the day on top of all that. Yeah, I.
And I don't even get mad at the fact that I just don't take a lunch anymore because I've accepted it. And it's not that I'm not entitled to it. It's not that like they don't let me. I've come to a point where I'd rather just not, I'm so busy throughout my day sometimes that it is nearly impossible for me to like sit down and focus on enjoying a meal.
And I've gotten so used to drinking black coffee. All morning that by the time lunch comes, I'm not even hungry. I don't get hungry till the end of the day when I can actually process and like let my nervous system regulate. That's when my body tells me, oh, you might be, you might need to eat something.
But thank God for water and thank God for coffee, and thank God for little sweet treats from PTA. And thank God for all the snacks that the kids bring you, because that's their way of, that's their token of affection, is bringing you snacks and goods. It's never the good grades. It's.
[00:07:38] learn to unlearn
---
[00:07:38] me: But one thing I will say, if you are in education and you're new or you're in the same boat as me, or, or if you're just learning to unlearn unhealthy habits, don't burn out at work. That's one thing I can say, don't overperform, don't be a yes man. You can literally show up to your job and like you can show up a hundred percent.
And give it your all. Give your job the best of you, like do it to the best of your ability and admin will still find a way to shit on it, reprimand you or have a closed door meeting with you if something that you may just be doing wrong. It's the most maddening thing I think I've experienced at this school because there's a lot of inconsistency.
With this administration, their expectations are just unrealistic and they change from day to day. And what I'm finding is that the constant turnover of leaders in that I'm gonna quote unquote leaders, AKA former frauds at that school. I learned that term from my friend Sarah. 'cause that's just beautiful "former frauds".
Yeah. Um. They just micromanage and critique the way you do your job, no matter how well you do it. Oh, I'm holding too many kids. Okay, well, one week my door's closed too much. We need to be, we need to maintain, um, open and inviting and approachable and attainable, but then I get complaints that I'm harboring kids in my office.
So, which one is it? This is a fight that I've had to go toe to toe with admin about, and it's, it's just gotten so old, so I'll get there. But yeah, moral of the story is don't, don't over perform. And you know what? It is worth leaving early. It is worth signing out. It is worth just calling out and playing hooky and using that extra sick days because I am telling you money comes and goes, but you cannot replace you.
They can replace you, but you cannot replace you. So I want you to lock that in if you don't already, because this is something I'm learning now, and I, I, I don't wanna spend another year like this. So please take note.
[00:10:07] Boundaries
---
[00:10:07] me: And this leads me into a very special segue: Boundaries. Love 'em. Learn 'em, enforce them. Stand by them. Boundaries is something I learned in grad school and it is a mental health tip that I also picked up over the pandemic, and especially with this job. and a growing adult, I forget, like the imposter syndrome really gets to me and I forget, like Victoria, you're a whole ass adult.
Like, and your boundaries are also to be respected. Just because you're new does not mean you are not a professional. You spent time, money burned eyelashes, blood sweat & tears, all of it all to be here like you earned your seat at the table. So just don't be afraid to speak up. I mean, being direct has gotten me in trouble.
I will say. But you know, there's a way with maintaining boundaries gracefully. I'm learning, learning, emphasis on learning, have not mastered.
[00:11:11] ALWAYS COME WITH RECEIPTS
---
[00:11:11] me: But , yeah, I've been learning to document everything that I find fishy, suss. Um, retaliatory. I'm just that girl. That's something they teach you. The minute you get in that job, record everything.
I mean, not with a voice recorder, but like document it in a notebook, in a, in an email, in a, in a, in a Google Doc. Like just something. Because a paper trail, especially in this line of work I've learned is everything. 'cause it never happened. If it was never on paper, if there's no record of it, good luck trying to prove it.
Prove your case. Um, yeah, I've gotten weird behavior from different people and I know that I keep saying the a word admin, and you guys need to know, admin are just my higher ups. They're just the people above you. 'cause everything is a chain of command. , So yeah, I, I've really learned how to behave and treat them in a special way, in a way where you, not kiss ass, but kind of like.
[00:12:16] Coddling Egos: Rules vs Personal Preference
---
[00:12:16] me: No. Yeah, you're kind of kissing ass. You're kind of being fake because in a way you need to coddle their emotions because if you don't, oh, it will be heard. You will get word and there will be a follow up. I'll get there. So boundaries, um, let's, let's put an example, another unrealistic expectation at this school.
Not closing your door. They don't want our doors closed. Why? I mean, I can understand them close all the time, but tell me a school, tell me a high school you went to where you didn't have to wait outside of your counselor's office where you didn't have to knock at her door and see if she was available to speak or he No.
This office is treated like a DMV. He wants your door open at all times. You need to be approachable, attainable, available to parents, families like you need to drop what you're doing and jump hoops to serve these families because customer service is the goal. I thought I left customer service. I thought I left that role.
Like I thought I paid money to come in, a role to serve, not to kiss ass, and not to jump through hoops like again, I digress, but I had my door closed. Uh, I wanna say like a couple weeks ago leading to break and I had closed it because I wanted a little bit of privacy. I wanted to listen to the news that was playing at my desk and I needed some planning time.
I mean, all teachers get a planning period. And even though I don't have a roster, I'm entitled to that planning period. Am I not an instructional position, right? So I close my door because I'm entitled to that and. Not even two min, not even a minute later, I wanna say like 15 seconds later, I get a tug, not a knock, a tug on my handle.
And I'm thinking it's one of my admins, it's actually the principal. So I'm actively like ignoring this admin because I specifically have beef with him. But then I realize, oh, it's, it's like head honcho, big cheese. So I open the door and I say yes. And he said, are you, do you, do you have a meeting?
Are you on a phone call? Not even like, are you okay? And I said, no, I'm not on any meeting. I didn't think I couldn't close my door. And his reply was, I thought they talked to you about that. And then I said, yeah, well, again, didn't think it was an issue. There's nobody here and you guys have your walkies very loud.
So I wanted to close my door. He proceeded to leave my door open and left. I mean power trip much??. I couldn't believe it. I stormed to his office moments later, but God put an angel, two angels in my way because I was intercepted by a student who was coming to see me. And by force I had to compose myself and be present for her.
And then on my way back. I ran into the union steward who happens to be my girl, love her, Sarah. I have so many Sarahs in my life, and they're all angels, but, um, I, she stopped me. She stopped me and said, stop. I know what you're doing. I know you're upset. I saw your email. This is my job. So what do I do?
Turn around, request a meeting. Now, in this meeting, I request admin. I request everyone, because I've been already talking closed doors with them. I have already been talking behind closed doors with admin for like two weeks now, no three weeks and I was over it. So I said at this point I, I need, I have concerns that need to be addressed.
And I need everyone to hear them, and I'm gonna put them in writing. And sure enough, I, I jotted down every, I wrote that email so thorough. And I always make sure my emails are thorough because they are, they are public record to the district. So if anything should go left, I got myself. Hence. Why I say document.
So anyway, um, we met, that meeting was spicy, emotional, we got nowhere. But I did clarify to him and stood my ground that your expectations are just that they're preferences, they're not rules. And thankfully the union had my back and whatever. So. When I say their expectations are unrealistic and they micromanage, that is also what I mean.
And sometimes you get a leader who really wants to lead, and sometimes you get a leader that is all about their image, their ego, and the way they like shit done. And it's just like a, I don't know. He's a special, he's a special type of guy. Um, let's move on. Yeah. Don't be a yes man. Speaking up when you feel like your boundaries are not being met.
[00:17:20] Rocking the Boat
---
[00:17:20] me: Yeah. I'm gonna let you know every time when you're wrong or when you're overstepping. I am that girl. Um, and I think I learned that from my mom. A closed mouth does not get fed. They say Don't rock the boat. I say, sink that bitch. My boss has told me time and time again,
Don't rock the boat. You don't want those problems. It's just the can of worms. I mean, if that's something you want to, you know, deal with, it's an uphill battle. He will always try to talk me out of a confrontation because he's non-confrontational. But I am, I am your worst nightmare because that's something I wanna talk about, especially if I find something to be shady.
And I've had my words with my own, like my own boss from my department. We've had our words. Um, we work very well together. He's, he's the one that hired me, so I respect him and. At the end of the day, he does try to help me. So I'm nice to him and I never have any bad blood. And he's like the only dude in the office who never wants any smoke with any of these bitches, including myself.
[00:18:24] Emotional Men in 'Power'
---
[00:18:24] me: So I leave him out the drama, I leave him out the chat on purpose. Um, , this is gonna leave me with another segue. I love this. I'm just, I'm just on a roll dealing with emotional men. Oh man. Emotional men. I don't think I've met so many. Not even when I was bartending, did I meet this many emotional men or like men in power.
Men in power just don't have a good, don't have a good range of emotion or don't have control of their emotion. I don't think they have. I don't know if it's a cultural thing or maybe they just like, they're. Developmental growth, stunted. But again, Florida will hire just about anyone. So learning that some men unravel when they are challenged.
Yes, time and time again. Um, if you ask why too many times, because their way makes no sense. Uh, if you ask them why. Something that's been done over and over again that clearly has no success, cannot be changed. Okay. How about like ever challenging them and standing down on your boundary? Hey, can you, can you jump into this BTA, which is a behavioral threat assessment for anyone?
Anyone who doesn't know? No, I actually have. An IEP meeting. Okay? But you can, you don't have to sit in on that. You can get someone else to sit in on that. I need you for this. BTA. Okay. But I also had a prior engagement that I had already RSVPd to and am expected to go as a valuable stakeholder. Yeah. No, but, but I'm asking you to be a team player here.
Oh, all of a sudden I'm not a team player. Okay. Okay. I see what that's about. Not me, like adhering to my original engagement. So this is where I say I'm learning corporate language where I have to gracefully redirect you and say, maybe you're not understanding. I fucking said no.
Like, how else do I make that make sense? My guy, I mean, I've ruffled a few feathers, I'm not gonna lie. And I say that with pride, but that's only because, how is it that I am doing your job for you? Or how is it that you are in a higher position than me and you're like the blind leading the blind? How?
How am I doing your job for you? I can't tell you how many times I've had to step in or take over a meeting or translate for someone who already speaks Spanish, like, just do your job. I've had a, I've had an admin literally leave me mid meeting where he summoned me. It was a parent and and student disciplinary meeting, and he summoned me to facilitate it, and he left me mid meeting because he had to jump on another meeting.
Hello? This is your job. This is like your role. You get paid the big bucks. What am, what am I to do here? Like you just here read a paper and you go, no, like this parent has so many questions, was already pissed off as it is, and I gotta be the guy that, I gotta be the bad guy. I don't think so. This ain't even my fucking role.
Discipline. That's all them. At all times. You have to be the one to deliver the news or communicate to the parent. You're just the middleman, you're the messenger, and sometimes you are the pillow they cry on. Sometimes you are their therapist because they are not heard by administration. So you have to sit there and listen to them, like, oh, be so for real.
Yeah. Setting boundaries. Sometimes that just takes redirecting and rephrasing the question. Are you saying that this task takes priority over such and such? Like I, I, I need, I need to hear it from you. I need this to be a close ended question so I can get a yes or no because are you really telling me this right now?
Oh my God. Um, all right. Stand your ground, but maintain grace. That is something, like I said, I'm learning to do. I can't even, I'm not even gonna touch that because no, sometimes my look just says it all and I think they know now. I think by year three they're like, yeah, maybe I'll ask her later or I can put it in an email for sure.
[00:22:50] Misery Loves Company: observe don't absorb
---
[00:22:50] me: Also, oh, speaking of emails, please, please learn from me if there's anything that I need to get better at. Do not impulsively reply. If you're anything like me that. Absorbs tone, emotion, energies. Take a moment, walk away, step away. Go to the bathroom and then come back. Look at the email. I promise you it's going to, uh, resonate a little differently.
It might sound a little differently. Or maybe just pick up the phone and like touch base with the teacher because sometimes that conversation's gonna get you further than that email. And sometimes these teachers do not have like corporate etiquette or email etiquette, like they don't know how to talk to you in person or in writing.
And sometimes you, you just like. You let out whatever's in the chamber, and more often than not, that's gonna get you, that's gonna get you a follow up. Because if you hurt their feelings, they run to admin, and then admin's like, Hey, heard you talk to a such and such, how did that go? What was that like? And it's like, I don't need to have a rep.
But at the same time, working with smug teachers. Is probably one of the hardest tasks I think I've, I've encountered because you're trying to work with colleagues who are not your age, are from different generations, and literally don't respect you or are just miserable and wanna take you down with them.
Misery loves company. Don't do it. Kill 'em with kindness. You don't have to do shit. You don't have to coddle their ego. But like sometimes I just like to be kind because it's like, Hey, I fucking see you, but if I see you're gonna get, be smug and tell me how to do my job, you are gonna get a different response.
I've had to tell a reading teacher who has come guns a blazing in my office on any given day saying, what are we doing about this kid in reading? What are we doing about this kid? And blah, blah, blah. And it's like, what are we doing? No bitch, what are you doing that kid's in your class. Where's your classroom management style?
Like, did we not, are we not professionals? And also like, what do you mean what are we doing? I'm not gonna tell you how to teach reading. So how about you don't tell me how to do guidance? And I told her that. And that girl was fucking gagged. I have not seen her since. So again, I'm learning grace, but I'm also like, sometimes you just gotta put a bit in her place.
'cause who the fuck do I look like your granddaughter?
Right. And while I can say that like two years ago, one year ago, I definitely was worse. I have gotten better. I definitely watch what I say. I think before I say it because I know, I know the cause and effect. I've been there, I've been snitched on, I've been, I've had statements written against me just because I'm so direct.
So find a healthy balance. Keep calm, but take no shit. You know what I'm, you know where I'm going. Well, this leads me into my next segue. I'm doing great here. You are outta high school, but do you really ever leave high school? Now, I know I work in a high school, but I didn't really think that I'd feel.
[00:26:05] A Divided Front
---
[00:26:05] me: Like I'm in a high school, and I mean that like department wise, I envy how most departments can just get along together, can sit with one another, can congregate. They have comradery. My department is such a divided front. That's exactly what it is. And ironically, we used to be really close, uh, because when you go in somewhere new, the goal is to establish, you know, a team comradery, rapport, et cetera, et cetera.
And we did for a while, we was really close, but personalities really come into play. And then you start seeing people. For their true colors and they, start to reveal different layers of themselves and you just really realize you're not there to make friends.
I don't even care. But don't go to work to make friends. I'm learning that quickly because you could be close with someone, but the minute that shit's done, that shit's done on and there is no more trust. There's not even like civility. I don't even get looked at, like a painting gets looked at more than I do.
And I, I've never experienced something like this where grown ass women with children, children in college, children in high school can just like actively hate me. And I say hate because the disdain is palpable. Like when you don't care about someone, you treat them like you don't care about them, but it's the way you actively go out of your way to make me feel less than beneath, ignored, shunned, I could go on and on.
And I think that's only happened because I like. Set a boundary sometime last year when my girls got in an altercation, I felt I got too comfortable with my department.
They knew a little too much. I was upset with admin in the way they handle things. So I, what I do is revert and I become an introvert, and I just stick to myself until I feel I'm ready to come out. And a lot of people take that personally because they think it's directed towards them. And I think that's what happened with half of my department.
And I think the other one just thinks I'm an anti-Semite. Because I'm, because I don't like, I, I'm not like pro genocide. Yeah. That story is for another day. But yeah, since then I don't get looked at. We can do like group tasks and we will not talk to each other. It's very eerie.
Um, but I will say, friends or foes, gossip spreads quicker than COVID.
[00:28:42] Do we ever really leave Highschool?
---
[00:28:42] me: Yeah, quicker than a cough. You will know when someone's spouse dies, Teacher's business, who they're fucking, when they're cheating on someone, which teachers being a perv and a creep , uh, when they've been talked to by admin, if they're getting fired, if they are quitting. if there's fraud, If there's a union situation going on, yeah, I'll get word of everything. I get it all. I get it all in my office and I don't ask for it, it just comes to me. like I'm telling you, you could fart and it'll, it'll get to the principal.
I don't even know, but I, I get word of like scandals shit that I feel like, should I even be hearing this? But listen, I can't help what gets brought to me. Um, and also like girls are mean, even in their fifties, they're just mean. And I don't mean to me 'cause like, fuck, I'm, I'm meaner and like, do I even like you bitch?
Yeah, high school is never over,
Okay. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna circle back to admin and coddling their egos because let me just tell you, people still tell on you, and, you can be all Kiki. And you can establish like tight rapport and think you're like close with your admin. The minute something gets taken outta context or they get offended or they feel, you know, you approached it a certain way, yeah, they'll talk about it. You'll get a follow up. I mean, I'll give you an example.
I thought I was really cool with this one AP and we had established like hella rapport and we would Kiki about everything under the sun. Like we took nothing personal or so I thought. And one day I said something to him that I really thought he would've brought to my attention face to face, but didn't.
Went and wrote it and put it on paper. The minute you put it on paper, you're an op. The minute you put it on paper, you're coming for me. So like what? Why are people so weird? Why aren't we adults? Can't you just address me? I would've appreciated it and respected you more, but I guess you're my higher up.
So who am I to question you? Yeah, so people still tell on you.
[00:30:56] My WHY
---
[00:30:56] me: So there's that. I've been ranting about all of the shitty stuff that I haven't even touched The best stuff, which are the students. And I, and I do mean that because I don't even know where I'd be if it weren't for my Velcro babies.
And I don't even know if that's like an unhealthy thing to say out loud, but like, yeah man, when you spend the majority of your life in a school, some of these kids who really see you for who you are as a person and everything you are like putting in effort to do, it Feels good. And I feel like it, it goes both ways because I do see these students, I do meet them where they're at, and I do treat them with integrity, respect, and you know, empathy and compassion.
And a kid, when they get that, they give that back. And no world would they ever dream of disrespecting you, overstepping or throwing you under the bus. I won't speak for every kid, but. Yeah, and which is why I got into this job in the first place because I wanted to make kids feel seen. I wanted kids to to feel heard, because more often than not, their problems are swept under the rug, or they're being told to be more resilient or they're being dismissed because their mental health is quote unquote "not real."
And. A generational thing and it's, and their problems aren't real problems. And I'm just, it's really unfortunate. And sometimes you have kids who really are not meant to go through the traditional school route, but yet here they are. And then we get mad at them because they're not, they're not learning or grasping or doing or participating.
Like I'm finding that. At least from what I'm seeing, kids are not being met where they're at. And that is not completely the school's fault. It's not completely the school's fault, but if I can be any type of relief in a kid's day, or a change agent, or a resource or a helping hand, that's what I'm there to do.
And if I could do that at least once a day, I can walk away feeling like I did something. Like, "okay, I'm glad I went today". Even if it was just a one part of my day. There are days where I feel like, what was the point of me going? It was such a shitty day. Like I was not needed. But that's very rare and I'd have to have like a shit day for that.
Um, um, love the kids. I don't want kids because I feel like this is a job that's kind of a hack because it's like I can fulfill that nurturing, like thirst that I have. It's quenched when I'm at work 'cause I feel like I'm actively working with the youth. I'm actively mentoring, I'm actively pouring life into you.
And when kids come and find me and build rapport and are willing to put the work in. It makes it worth it. And time flies. So when you see them grow and you see them like shed out of old skin and outgrow different habits and just kind of evolve as a human, like, I know that's gotta be a super proud moment as a parent.
I can't even imagine, but like I get it - kind of. So that's like the sweetest part of my job.
I also don't get me, don't get me wrong, I love a kid in crisis. Not like that way, but I love being able to swoop in and be your safe space. Talk to me in a way that makes sense. Let it out in any way that is helpful to you. Any way that comes natural to you. I don't take judgment. I don't care if you cuss.
I don't care how you express yourself. I'm not offended. You don't bother me. You don't take up space. You don't take up my time. I am here for you. My job is based on you and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. So when I say I have passion, I do have passion. I've gone toe to toe with the principal because I don't think some of the things that they do make sense.
And when I feel like they're not meeting a kid where they're at, or I feel like a kid is being overlooked, um. And their weaknesses and you know, their needs are overlooked. Their individual unique needs are being overlooked because of a zero tolerance policy that's being implemented.
[00:35:47] Pushing the envelope: be the change
---
[00:35:47] me: Like that does not make sense, and that's when I try to advocate and ask questions and push why, why, why? Until I get like. I really get a response that's like, stop. But at least they know I care. You know, I can't change the system, but I can be a change agent in the system. And I've met a handful of those people at that school.
There's not a lot of them, but there are a handful and they're just earth angels and they're meant to be there. Not forever, but. I am glad I'm there with them during this time because, as you know, I am using this podcast to collaborate with different educators, um, from different departments at my job who have more experience than me and who can shed light and, and perspective and offer me insight and just help me understand it in a way that like I maybe not be seeing it and their tips and their advice and their knowledge.
Has changed me completely. So, um, I'm excited to interview ESE soon. That'll be exciting 'cause that's, that's a whole other umbrella to touch.
[00:36:57] Questions I often ask myself
---
[00:36:57] me: Now, do I feel energized by my work or am I constantly drained and counting the hours until it's over? Both. Both. I am fired up when I'm, when I'm in it, when I'm really in my role and I'm doing the work and I'm helping a kid in crisis and I'm making you go from, I wanna off myself to thank you so much.
When I see your world completely not completely change, when I get you from a one to a five or a one to a four, on a scale of one to 10. If you come into my office at a one and you leave anywhere higher on that scale, I've done my job. If I can help you get through your day, I've done my job.
If I can put a smile on your face, if I can get you to just see the glass half full instead of half empty, I've done my job. And then there are days where it's like, man, get the fuck outta here. I mean, like any day it's seven and a half hours. You're at school, you're in front of a computer, you're just back to back.
You're just seeing people. And sometimes your customer service light just like flickers and just fades and you just don't, I don't have it in me. Sometimes I leave early. Because that's all I have left. Bye. That's all that's in me. That's all I got.
Do I know if this is where I wanna be or, or am I hoping that something better shows up?
I don't know. This is where I wanna be right now. Not this school. I mean, no, I'm gonna stop saying that because this school's, it's such a bitter sweet feeling. This is my first school, so I naturally have an attachment. I'm comfortable now. And I'm kind of like getting comfortable with my niche and I'm like evolving.
So I do, I do love the school for that. You know, this is, this is my stepping stone. So I'm grateful, right? But I wanna say that there's gotta be something more because I don't know that I can work in a system like this, at least the way the education system is going.
I don't know that I can, I don't know how long this continues. Especially in Florida, but I'm working on this podcast. I, I wanna work on mentoring youth. Maybe post high school, maybe, maybe young women. I don't know. I, I'm always, I'm always in my creative bag. I'm always thinking, how can I extend the help outside of school?
I know that I'm in the right role. I'm just seeing how I can evolve this niche if I guess right now comfortable. That's another thing. I am comfortable. Sometimes I'm like, I want to experience a different school because I feel like I've learned what not to do at this school instead of what to do. 'cause I'm telling you, the school may, it's not real. The way they function, there is no structure and I'm sure that's like one of many South Florida high schools. Um, yeah. So I feel like if I'm comfortable here, will I stay another year? I think I will because I want to, I wanna see at least a cohort graduate. I want to be with these Velcro babies until they leave the nest.
But I can't say I, I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'll end up in a different state, a different district. I definitely need to make more money. So Florida's not it forever. I'm saying that right now. But I, I don't know where I'll end up and, Am I learning skills that are gonna be valuable in like three to five years?
I mean, we talk about loans being paid off, but it's like, okay, what if this doesn't work out? What then what, I mean, I have, I do have communication and customer service skills. I've worked in customer service like all my life. I've been a bartender, I've been a server, I've now worked in a school. I am literate. I'm bilingual. Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure I'll land on my feet, but I love what I do. I'm just, I'm hoping that education gets better. I'm hoping that our leaders do more for us. That's really what it comes down to, and that we get more staff, we get more compensation, um, more appreciation beyond a pizza party.
Yeah, there's, there's, there's definitely a lot. Now, am I growing or just repeating the same experience over and over? To be continued. No, no, no. I'm growing, but I am, I feel like it's still the same bullshit I'm revisiting, but I am like, as we've talked about, outgrowing bad habits, learning from mistakes and heated moments, learning to control, be slower to anger.
Because I, I'm a pistol. I'm a hothead, but I'm definitely learning to speak with grace because I can, my, my, my tongue is sharp and can cut, and I've seen the effects of it, and I, I'm not always proud of it. Sometimes it's warranted, but sometimes I gotta dial it back. So some of those experiences I'm definitely growing in.
[00:42:04] Outro
---
[00:42:04] me: Um, so yeah, I think for now this is all I have. I feel like I've covered a lot. I'll be back. I'll definitely spill more tea, you know, as the episodes continue. I'm super glad that I got through this. This was the most cringest task I think I've had to do. I have delayed and procrastinated and put this off because I just hate hearing myself yap, but this was cathartic. Cathartic as fuck. And I'm, I'm gonna do this at least once a month, if not once a week. 'cause I do love co-hosting and I love interviewing people, but this is good. So if you're still here, thank you for listening. Thank you for tuning in and I can't wait to take you guys along the ride.
Continue to grow, continue to share what I have in store. Um, thanks. Thanks friends. Love you
guys. Bye.