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Join Rem and Alvia as they navigate the joys and perils of adulthood as a married millennial DINK couple in the Philippines, while also trying to break the stigma against the DINK lifestyle or being childless by choice. We tackle challenges like facing adult responsibilities, managing finances, growing careers, breaking generational traumas, generating social impact, cultivating relationships, and determining who should be washing the dishes.
DINKWAP stands for Dual-Income No Kids with a Podcast!
Are you a DINK, SINK, or DINK-curious? Join us at DINK Lifestyle Philippines.
I went through that situation.
What did you do?
I was married to a guy.
And all the guys I invited were also guys.
And they were friends?
And those guys were all friends of Brian.
I was the one who gave birth to Brian.
So I couldn't fit in.
And I'd rather.
You're the one who'd rather?
I'm the one who'd rather.
I was at the bar.
You're the one who'd rather?
Or did you get married?
I can't sleep.
I was on my phone, right?
And then, I was about to eat.
I was about to eat because the food was being distributed.
I was about to cry.
I couldn't.
You're good at telling stories.
You're good at finding stories.
I'm good at finding stories because I'm a silent liker.
And now, your likes are showing.
It's gone.
I'm the one who's replying.
"Benta!" I asked Nia, she sent me a screenshot of the video that I liked.
She said, "Why did you like this?"
- "It's not good." - "It's not good." The memes are so bad.
The background is bad.
That's why I'm sending it to you. I don't like it.
It's hard to see.
We can see the true colors.
It's like...
The DINKWAP Show. Dual income. No kids. With a podcast.
hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of the DINKWAP show i am your host rem alvia and our guests cesca and bea we invited you last episode so we told you how you get to know each other through a common hobby sport yes and common humor how important is it to be building your you know your tribe And we're in our age now.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I really want to emphasize that.
That we're in our age.
What about you, babe?
For me, it's very important because when you're an adult, sometimes you feel lonely.
Because like with me, my close friends, like college friends, I've known them for like a while.
A while.
So the person that they know is the person who I was in college.
And then when I'm with them, our jokes are the same.
We just talk the same.
So I feel like my conversation, my college self, it's coming back.
But as an adult, I feel like it's important that you have friends who you can find out who you are now.
You don't know them.
Because people change. We always change through life.
Like, for example, in college, they were surprised.
"Oh my gosh, you're wearing an aerial gun?"
"You're wearing a bulletproof vest?"
"And you used to be quiet at the back." You know what I mean? So I feel like that's the person.
I'm not quiet, but that's just an example.
Just an example.
Okay, just an example.
- She's a victim! - Just an example.
Just an example.
Of course, I'm quiet.
But it's different people.
It's nice that...
- It's different.
- It's different.
As an adult, I think it's important.
Because you feel like...
You're the person.
- Is it because it's a clean slate?
- I think so also.
Because...
No offense to my friends.
When I was a kid,
"Hi, I'm not a kid."
It's the college me.
My person is not like that anymore.
I always tell people that it's good that you're changing as an adult.
Because you're not stuck there anymore.
- Because she's always college.
- So yes, clean slate. I guess.
It's nice also to learn from other people.
- No one knows who you are.
That's a good thing.
- It's good because I'm also like that.
Your stage is different in life.
When you go back to your group of friends, it's like a time capsule.
You go back to that.
Exactly.
That's what I'm talking about.
You're so stubborn even if you're really good at it.
I'm like that.
You're like a cook before you're a cook.
That's right.
What about you, Cesca?
I don't make a lot of friends in school.
But in our lives, we make friends by the people we're always with.
Whoever you're married to.
So when I was in school, I wasn't in a group of big people.
I always have friends who are just the two of us.
We're just the three of us.
Small groups.
So that's how I was.
When I was in adulthood, after I graduated, it was so hard to meet people.
If you're just a few, you're busy.
You won't see them.
So you need another way to meet other people.
And you can't do it if you work from home.
I never worked as an introvert.
- And I don't have any hobbies. - I don't go to work.
- I don't have any hobbies either. - You don't have a job.
It's so hard to find new people.
Without an office.
I need something like that.
Something like that?
I need this community.
Exactly.
Because I don't really have any other way to make friends.
Yeah.
I can't make "bumble friends" You can just bump up and meet friends.
But there are Bumble friends, right?
But it's a bit weird.
But it's weird.
There are.
There are.
But it's weird.
It's weird. You're not supposed to date whoever you're meeting.
But that's what you're doing.
That's why.
Because you're supposed to talk. I tried it before.
And when you ask, "Why are you here?" "Because I don't have friends." Maybe it's just...
Maybe because there was an issue before, the "strava-strava" group.
They were in a group and they were dating.
In Polkats, that won't happen.
It won't happen to us. There are so many camps in the world.
Look at the look.
It's really not there.
I think it's unlikely to find a romantic partner in this community.
If you want to have a girlfriend, don't go to this area.
This is not the place.
This is for friendship.
I think so. I am the only extrovert in the group.
In my college, in UP, you build your own semester.
You choose your subjects.
So my strategy is that I need one friend per class.
So when I'm late or someone is listening, I'll ask them.
User-friendly.
- The other students said,
I think I'm looking for a way to communicate with people, to relate with people.
But not necessarily keep them.
That's my concern.
So we kept the date of our meeting, 2023.
So our GC is still active.
Is it just 2023?
Yes.
It's been a long time.
And GC is very active.
We talk everyday.
It's not like we just remember each other.
"I miss you guys." No.
We just have a Christmas party.
Everyday, all the memes are there.
What do you talk about in the class?
Memes.
Chismes.
We send out reels of people falling down the stairs.
Scustas.
And what happens to us in class.
We're like, "We're in the same class."
I can't tell others because I can't explain.
We're not on TikTok.
We're not on TikTok.
TikTok.
You can have a group chat.
TikTok is funny.
I'm on all the Chismis.
I'm the center of Chismis.
I'm the source of Chismis.
But I feel like, literally, I volunteer for, let's say, beach clean up.
After I have a friend, surely.
But that's me.
- I can't do it. - Me too.
Me too, I can't do it.
I'd rather sit on a table.
For example, this one.
It's on a field trip.
And the one I'm in a section that I'm not in a section.
I'd rather sit with the teacher.
I don't want to be a teacher with you.
Done to join a group.
Because the teacher won't talk to you.
She won't talk to you.
She'll just feed you.
She'll ask you, "Have you eaten?" "Do you want water?" I'll feed you.
Me too.
So you're there.
But when you're in a group, you need to know them.
It was my 30th birthday when I was in high school.
But we only had 3 friends who were active in that group.
She was the celebrant, she turned around, I was there, and the other one was late.
So I didn't talk to her.
Then she got a barricade from college.
So what would you do in that situation?
Would you just sit there?
I would just try to make it look like they're okay.
Like I would joke around.
I would still try. I think I'm that type of interviewer.
She wouldn't try.
So if we're together, I'll be the only one who can save you.
So there are levels of introversion.
You're the only one because you don't have a friend.
I'll try to talk to him because it's survival.
Survival?
I'm the introvert who can survive if I need to.
Because I need to.
- True. - If I need to be an extrovert,
I'll be like, "Here, show yourself."
What about you? What would you do in that situation?
I've already been in that situation.
- What did you do? - I remember getting married as a maid.
And all the guests I invited were just maids.
- Just friends? - And those maids were all friends of the bride.
I was the bride's daughter.
So I couldn't fit in.
And I'd rather...
- You said you'd rather. - I'd rather be a teacher.
Or maybe it's in the bathroom.
It's
You're the one who's doing it in that situation.
That's also true.
You're sleeping.
This is a friend.
Oh, right.
- She's
Can you?
That's what Chinggitan said.
Can you?
Yes, you'll get married. Don't go to the bridesmaids early.
You know the one who walks in the SDA?
I'm not that close.
Then you'll have a group hug.
Yes, you can only have close ones.
The plastic ones.
Yes, right?
You'll be close.
Then the one who laughs.
I'm also following that.
It's not just about the close relationship.
For example, if you're a man,
Just to be clear.
Just to be clear.
Thank you for your parents.
Just to be clear.
If you ask my mom, she'll say it's okay.
So what did I do in that situation?
My friend was in traffic for a long time.
I went to that group of friends.
She's a legit extrovert.
I said, "Hi, you're college friends of Celebrant?"
Because in my mind, my friend has a birthday.
And this is his barricade.
So, maybe it's true, right?
Maybe.
So, I said, "I'm his high school friend."
And then I went out for dinner with them.
- That's it. - But they're cool too.
That's the power of extroverts, guys.
- That's so cool. - The ones you're talking about now.
- The ones who accept extroverts. - I'm getting goosebumps.
Me too.
You know, earlier when he asked me,
he said, "What are you going to do there?" - He cried. - I'm like this.
So, Vega is out of necessity.
I'm out of necessity.
It's really awkward because
I don't know what to do. I don't have money. It's really awkward because I'm out of necessity. I'm out of necessity. I'm out of necessity They're in the same group, but I'm on the other side and I don't have a friend.
- I'm just... - Maybe I'm in a bar.
- I'm just there. - If that's the case, I'm okay.
- Me too. - I can handle it.
- Don't notice me here. - Me too.
I'll just call and tell them, "Happy birthday."
- Face the one. - I know this.
When I'm outside, even if I'm alone, someone talks to me.
- They smell you. - They're so good.
- How? - I'm talking to them.
Yes.
They ask directions?
Yes.
Or what's my in order?
It's not always like, "What's your in order?" It's like you're in a different country because they're like that.
What's your favorite number of your electric fan?
It's not always like that because sometimes,
the guy will talk to you.
It's not like that.
Like interested.
Like curious.
They just want to talk to you.
Maybe they smell your ex.
They said that if you answer my question...
Because it's like smiling.
It's like smelling like a people pleaser.
It's so hard to find a skill set that will be close to a group of people that you don't know.
But because...
I think it's in another wedding.
Oh, you don't know each other.
Who is that?
I'm not a super extrovert stranger.
Because there are people like that.
They can really get close to anyone without any connection.
I really can't do that.
But this one has a common friend.
So even if I get close to them, we can still talk.
It's like that.
But if I'm just sitting on the other table, there's a group.
It's so AD.
It's so normal.
It's so normal.
I can't even look at the camera.
Hi guys.
It's like a ball pit is being tinted.
It's like the first day, right?
It's like they're coming from outing.
It's like a pencil.
It's like a nice position.
Because the backpackers look like they have a balloon.
And then someone approached them.
- With a megaphone. - With a megaphone.
What did she ask?
She asked, "Excuse me, excuse me, can I pray over you?" And then we all...
What are we doing? We're just passing by.
- Because you're from outing. You're tired. - You're tired.
- You're going to pray. - You're asking me what I feel in my pants.
- What are you going to do? - I need a prayer.
What if I hit you with a wet swimsuit?
Why do you think I need your prayers?
Maybe he's good at tension but the timing and the bed are bad.
And it's already night.
Wait, I have a story. I just remembered.
Because there, at the Poresa Station.
Wow!
Here in Poresa Station?
Yes, in Poresa Station.
There are Koreans standing there.
Always.
- And then, they always ask you questions. - Always?
Like, first, you eat and then you have a conversation.
- In English? - No, in English.
- It's like in English. - I'm getting challenged.
And then they ask you questions.
So for me, I didn't listen to them at first.
Then they asked me, "Do you know that God is a woman?"
- Oh my God! That's also in UP! - Yes.
- Huh? - That's also in UP.
God the Mother.
They shouldn't call it Father.
Then?
I'm curious because that claim is interesting.
Ariana Grande?
Ariana Grande, you're a woman!
But have you heard of God the Mother?
She's like that.
There's one in UP.
They're explaining that there's a maternal who's like God's seen, who cares for all people,
That's when the human race succeeded.
It's a different version.
It's a different version.
And then, I was offered a snack.
We went to a bar.
Oh my God!
You went to a bar?
No.
I don't have a car.
I didn't have anything to do that day.
You look like a kid for Jollibee.
No, I really went to Jollibee.
It just followed.
Okay.
I was in the bus and I was in the Seriously.
And then I was like, "Can we talk to you?"
That's how they started.
And then I was like, "Okay." Okay.
You're so tired.
I was so angry.
We sat next to each other.
And they said, That's their intro.
"Did you know that there is a God the Mother?" I was like, "What the hell?" Okay.
I was curious.
But their reasoning was, God is the reflection of humans.
So if there's a mother, there's also God the mother.
That's how they are.
I was like, "What? I have a class." - Just for religious reasons.
- For religious reasons.
- She just wants to leave.
- I'm just kidding.
- I feel like this episode will be a basher.
- It's just like that.
- No, it's just weird for me.
So it's like bye-bye.
It's okay to pray over.
It's okay.
Don't just have a bit of wet clothes.
And then, it's appropriate.
Just timing.
I'm not...
It's like the right thing.
I'm just a pencil.
Yeah, it's the...
We're praying over.
Maybe it's the church.
You're praying over.
I saw your episode.
That's why I want to praise you.
That's why I want to say, establishing your safe space and your tribe.
Because imagine, you're very vulnerable.
It's your first time doing sports in your life.
And it's not just aerial sports, it's sports.
So it has to be an environment where you can be vulnerable.
I'm not sure if you can judge it. I tried cycling before.
- Did you get judged? - No.
When I arrived, my classmates were screaming.
- They were being pressured. - Right?
- You were dying. They were screaming. - They were getting up.
- That's it. - That's what they do.
- They're like... - Sorry.
And then they scream.
That's
I felt like I was getting wet.
They're going to release the rates.
Fighting for my life here.
I was like, "Oh, it's not over yet?
There's more?" There's an exciting part.
So, I liked that studio.
And I kept on coming.
Not just because it's a walking distance from where I live.
But it's the environment that's okay even if you can't do it.
Even if you can't do it.
And if you have a good classmate,
it's like, "Wow!"
It's not like, "That's a certain athlete." There's no such thing as a bunch of people.
It was like that in the past because he was pretty.
There was no such thing.
We were all like that.
We came there on different stages, whether that's in life or in our lifestyle and in sports.
But when you're there, you're a beginner.
I also proved that even those who do jjimmy, who work on their thighs, they can't do the pull.
It's different.
It's really different.
It's like all of you are humble.
It's very humbling.
You feel like you're strong.
You use functional muscles.
What do you feel?
It's good when you watch a video.
You feel like you're a graceful graceful.
I feel like I've been dating for a long time.
True.
But sometimes, your feet are like this.
This.
But when you're looking for friends, what are they?
Are you more deliberate?
I think.
I think.
Like I said earlier, - we're not friends anymore. - What did say?
Like in a room full of people.
Wow, that's your choice.
Quotable quotes.
Chinky Tan.
For example, we have a lot of people in our room.
Why did I choose you?
To be friends.
Because we got into a joke.
We got into a joke.
I got caught.
You got caught.
I got caught.
I want more of that.
Your IG is really good.
Like story.
Heart story.
But you're good at finding stories.
I'm good at finding stories because I'm a silent liker.
And now, your likes are showing up.
It's gone.
I'm the one who replies.
Sell it.
I was joking with Nia. She sent me a screenshot of my likes.
She said, "Why did you like this?"
What?
The cute mules.
- You're the one
You'll feel like you're in a hobby for a long time.
You might be a hobby-hopping.
And you put all of that in your friends.
It's really tiring.
That's me.
That's the example.
What else? Other hobbies are expensive.
It's really expensive.
Actually, even this is expensive.
But if you like it, it's worth it.
It's like you're going to do something.
You can do something.
Because there are hobbies that you can't do, like pilates.
- It's too expensive. - We haven't tried it.
- We don't even have a market. - We're not in the income market yet.
We don't have an income market yet.
We don't have it.
- We can do it. - We might have a joke.
You can do it but you can't do it once a week.
- It's pilates. They say pilates makes you thin.
Because it's expensive, right?
So you won't have to pay.
You won't be able to eat.
So you can go to Pilates to pay for it.
That's true.
I'm not going to go.
I'm not going to go.
You're telling me that I'm so good at selling things.
I'm not going to stop.
That's true. It's not forced.
Yes, that's true.
Well, it's true. I think it's true.
Pilates players can confirm it.
Yes, they can confirm it.
You're not in the You can't really do anything about
- Torture, right? - Torture.
- But it's not really torture. - It's a bit.
- It's a bit. - It's a bit like that.
Because there's tension and they're adjusting it.
- Adjusting it? - Yes.
Okay. I know a lot of people who do Pilates.
- Actually, there are a lot. - Comment down below.
Comment down below.
- Comment down below. - They're not really commenting.
They're not commenting differently.
They're not really commenting our target market.
*laughs*
It's a fight!
Maybe we'll get to know them.
Whatever.
We thought of a concept.
We're not going to start.
They're not going to fight.
They're not going to fight.
They're going to fight.
I thought of a sports that has a community.
I saw it lately. The running clubs.
They have a lot of them now.
They're meeting up at 7am.
Wow! Keep up, guys.
What time do you wake up?
Comment down below!
I love you!
Comment section!
Comment section!
You wake up at 5AM!
5AM!
What's the topic?
What's the topic?
There's a comment on Pilates
and another one on 4AM.
I'm not from there. I want to be with my friend.
For example, there are groups of friends who we try to play Pilates together but if you don't play together, no one will do it.
I didn't.
I was waiting for you.
I wanted to try it but no one was there.
I'll just try. Even if it's just me.
I'll just try.
It's like my friend, "Let's do yoga." And then she'll just continue. "I'll just do it." I won't continue.
That's the personal agreement.
I also got married to an extrovert.
That's why I'm always pushing her.
She's the enemy.
You registered me.
-Ex-registered. -Yeah, that's how it is.
It's like he's dying of thirst and he still can't buy water.
-Yeah. -That's how it is.
-You don't want to... That's too much.
-Actually, there are episodes like that.
When I was young, it was like that too.
For example, I would buy beer from my father in the corner.
-In the past, you could ask your child to buy beer.
-That's right. -Disclaimer.
-This is a disclaimer. -This is a disclaimer, guys.
I'm carrying a bag and I'm walking on the streets.
And I'll just stand in front of the store and wait for them to call me.
Oh!
If that's me, I'll be like, "Peso! Pa'abili!"
No, I'm not like that.
So I'm a bit long sometimes.
You know the 5 pesos thing.
I'm really like that.
So I relate to that.
To Nia.
Nia also mentioned that in the episode.
That's why.
I'm going to repeat it.
The words are so funny.
I was told that when I was doing my masters, I was driving an Ortiga and a QC to school.
I was driving an Antipolo.
I offered my classmates that maybe someone wants to do carpool.
From Ortiga to QC and then QC to Antipolo.
I was like, "No, the car will be under the car, right?" "Even if it's just me, maybe someone needs a ride." And they were saying that our carpool friends were like, "What should I do so that I won't get an OP?" How?
I said, "I don't like the feeling of getting an OP."
Maybe not everyone doesn't like that feeling.
So I tried to...
For example, let's say Nia. She doesn't speak.
So I tried to involve her.
Or if there's a long airtime, it's like, "Oh, but you!" - Yeah. - Yeah.
- You're like a host. - Yeah.
- That's when it's like... - Yeah.
- But if I'm not in the mood, it's just a tabla. - Yeah.
- It's just a tabla. - Tabla tabla.
But I just feel like...
Nobody wants to be OP.
- It's like... - You're so good.
Like, who are they? All your friends?
Winnie the Alvear and every friend.
- Yeah, they're just my friends. - Oh, okay.
But it's Masters.
People are so weird.
How did you guys have a barricade in Masters?
You guys are different.
I'm not.
You're so good.
You're really good.
So you need a workshop in your life.
Comment "Tang"
Comment "Chinky Tan" Comment "Workshop"
If you want to be trained.
Extravert 101.
Comment "Chinky Tan"
- She's really good at talking.
You know, when you meet someone in a mall, you're not close but you know them.
"I'll go to the other side because I'm too lazy to talk to them."
- So there's that. - I'm hiding too.
- So you have moments like that. - I have too.
Or maybe you're with an introvert.
- You can't do that. - Wow, we can do that.
Well, you know, actually, this is a legit question.
What do you say after saying, "Hi, what are you doing here?" We'll finish it nicely.
Okay, for the next episode.
For the next episode.
So yeah, I'm glad you got some comments here.
If you want, you can comment section.
For the views and engagement of the post.
Suddenly, it's 4am.
So thank you again for listening or watching another episode of the DINKWAP Show.
And we will see you on the next one.
Bye!
you