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Gav and Dan lend their unique perspective to horror films and the world surrounding them. With Gav's unique perspective as a filmmaker and Dan's peculiar perspectives, The Podcast on Haunted Hill offers a fresh view of horror cinema!
The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.
Please, Elvis, Michael,
be one of us.
I didn't tell you my name. Hang up. I didn't tell them my name.
They're all apart. They're all apartheid.
Come, it is time to keep your
appointment.
Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill,
episode 164. My name
is Gavin Jonathan hall.
Hello, I'm Daniel Martin Bone. We are
very british today.
Hello, everyone. Why are we being so british, Gavin? I don't know. I just went
into that. I sometimes like, do my british like voice.
I don't know why. Well, there is a reason why. There is a topic of
this particular. No, indeed. Maybe my
inner old man from the fifties, british man was
coming out. Yes, indeed. Today.
Ladies, gentlemen, lovely listeners, you know, because you've read it. But we're
doing hammer horror films, which, yes, a big
love of ours got
me into horror, really, I would say, because they were on always on british tv
for outside of Britain, listeners,
how is everybody? Is everybody well, I feel a bit weird
at the moment because I'm in a different setup from normal.
I'm in a makeshift sort of studio, so I've actually got my mic
in a drawer pulled out and it's all a bit weird. So just with
me, you have got a very atmospheric green light in the room.
So you do look like you are in a hammer horror film.
I should imagine in a moment, Peter Cushing will walk in behind you and say,
good God, man, what are you doing in here? Podcast.
What? Podcast. Like a radio show, old boy.
Oh, I see. Hope everybody's alright in the world out there and you're all dandy.
I'm dandy. Dandy and gay. I hope everybody's dandy and
gay. Dandy and gay. We're all dandy and gay.
Daniel, how are you? I'm very well. Very excited.
We are a bit sneaky, bit cheeky, because although this
year we're doing director specials, we've also managed to make this a
bit of a hammer horror, like you just said. So we are doing. This is
officially a Terrance Fisher director. Special, to be fair.
He worked, he did other stuff, but he did a lot of hammer
stuff, so it's easy for us to, you. Know, he was the head boy
for Hammer, really. So, yes, we picked
one each. James Whale for Universal. He was indeed,
yes. And you can compare Hammer to universal almost,
in that universal came in the thirties, forties,
and sort of died off in the fifties. Hammer came along in the
fifties, sixties, and died off in the seventies. But they
still go in and they. Remit, well, it is. And they remade the movie
at home. With Eddie is odd playing. They did indeed. Doctor Jekhorn's sisterhood.
Yeah. Or Ms. Hyde or something like that. Yeah. But yeah.
So they sort of remade the universal horror
movies, but in color with very british
tones. And this is where people like Christopher Lee and Peter
Cushing and all the other stalwarts of the british horror film
come from. And everybody knows the thick, gloopy red hammer horror blood.
And like I've said, we grew up on it. But yes, Terence Fisher, we picked
one of his each. And they both happen to involve the titles
of them anyway, as beasts. So,
Gavin, you chose the hound of the Baskervilles?
Yep, from 1959.
Sherlock Holmes. Our first Sherlock Holmes. I was going to say that when
I started reviewing it, I thought, oh, fuck, this is our first Sherlock Holmes.
I'm a massive Sherlock Holmes fan, especially of Basil
Rathbone. Sherlock, that's my favorite. I've got a box set of his.
And every year, October, November,
come up to Christmas. I don't know why it's cold. I love to chuck on
those black and white, uh, Basil raft band because there's some,
there's some horror ones as well. You get like them after a serial killer,
I think those. Yeah, they're really good. They're quite atmospheric as well.
They're very good. And that one stars, of course, Peter Cushion
and Christopher Lee. Yeah, this, this one, not, uh, this is, uh, Peter Cushion
as Holmes. Yes, yes. And Christopher
Lee as just, uh, just. Um, the manor of the house.
Sir Henry. Sir Henry. But it's a different role
for Christopher Lee, which we'll talk about when we get to it. Very different from
one of these done before. In some ways it's fantastic that they. Could just slip
into the stern of Sherlock Holmes and it just
looked like he is always bing, Sherlock Holmes. But they
could play the other way around as well because they're just so good at their
jobs. So that's your selection. And my
selection was from 1961, a little spanish
film set, a very drunken Oliver Reed.
And that is the curse of the werewolf, the only werewolf
movie hammer ever did. So the two only sort of the
beast dog films they've done.
So we picked them, which is random. But yeah, it is what it
is. So that's what we're covering. I hadn't seen, I've seen the first one once,
I've picked up on vhs once upon a time, and I sold it for a
bit of money because it's worth a bit, but I hadn't seen it since.
So I'm hound and it was on legend. It was on there, so I could
just watch it from there, which is quite good. Streaming. I was gutted the other
night, actually. I started watching the
third. Maybe it's satanic rights of Dracula. It's the third one
with Pete Waterman was in it when he was younger, before mine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. And I got halfway through, but I was so
tired I had to go sleep. I was really enjoying it, actually, because I hadn't
seen it since I got a videotape when I was a teenager. Is it.
We just went there, whatever, and then went back to watch it and
it gone off legion, so I missed it. Taste the blood of.
Is that. Maybe it's that one. Yeah, taste blood. Dracula. I'll tell you now,
actually, because I've got here,
horror of Dracula was the first one.
Dracula has risen from the grave. Is that the one from 68? Okay, yeah,
it could be that one. There's a few. There's a few of them. I think
it got to a point where Christopher Lee was just,
like, turning up, going, ah. Not saying
a word right at the end of the movie, and going. And being like,
fuck this. Well, he, in the documentary I
watched recently, he joked about that. He said,
I didn't feel like I could even be bothered to utter one
word. So I said to the director in
this, Dracula is a mute. The director's
like, cool, we don't care. We've got Christopher Lee here. We'll just carry on.
Because, yeah, they do really tail off a bit. And that's part of the reason
Hammer studios kind of closed its doors for a few years,
because, yeah, they were. And the same with universal, really, you. Know, the same with
Marvel. It's the same thing with them. It's just too
many. And then the Dracula, too many. So people like, well,
obviously with, like, the Halloweens and the Friday thirteenths and those things,
people kind of go towards those because of the serial killer stuff and they want
to see the gorn blood, but these ones are just like, how many Dracula films
can you do? And it just got to a point when times were definitely
changing. When you got into the mid seventies, going into the eighties,
we're turning into a totally different era. Like, synth and
stuff's coming around a computer age and stuff is, you know,
Star wars. Yeah. So they unfortunately.
But now I would love now them to go out
on the hammer Facebook group and literally the other, a person said the
other day, why don't hammer make a film now like
how they used to? And it's, I'd love to see that one myself
if I could. I really enjoyed women in black, I've gotta say. No, women in
black was actually pretty good. And then the resident came out
that wasn't very good. That's lost. Christopher Lee Hammer performance.
Yeah. And there's a new one we spoke. About and in some ways universal
are still making horror movies, but they're nothing. Well,
they've got a new wolf man coming out, haven't they? Yeah. And it does look
like some. I'm gonna wait, I'll tell you. Is it James what's his
name? Isn't it Juan? Is that his name? Yeah. Okay. Is he directing it?
Yeah. Well, wait, it's turning to horror. James Wan's alright,
he's been doing horror a long time, so he does know horror. But at the
same time it looks. Very good from the trailer.
And I'm a big werewolf fan, but as we know, we're both huge werewolf fans.
But there are, for every good
werewolf film there is about 20 terrible werewolf films.
Yeah. And that's just the way it is with that genre. But there we go.
But talking of good films, gav, I've been to the cinema today.
Let's talk about what we've been watching. So I. Last time, ladies and
gentlemen, ghouls, non gendered, lovely, lovely. Other people's or
anyone else you are. And lycanthropes, all of you. Black creature,
black lagoon, everybody. Werewolves, hounds, all sorts. Hounds on
mauls, all sorts. Last time, as you know, if you listen to the episode,
hopefully you did. If it's your first time, welcome. Oh God, here we
go. Welcome. If it's, if it's, if. Okay,
let's do it again. If, if you're coming back,
welcome back. If this is your first time, welcome front. I forgot
it. Next time we're doing it beginning of the episode. And if you chuck,
if you join us now and again, welcome side or
anything you like. Anyway, last time, if you sound like. A daily party to me
going all sides. I've got enough lube here.
Um, just 100 bottles. I need thousands.
Uh, yeah. Anyway, dildo, you got 584. Stop it. My brain
can't do this. It's like a train being derailed every second.
Uh, last time I said to Dan, fuck me. You've got to watch this movie.
Oh, it wouldn't been last time. Maybe it's a couple of times ago when I
got back from fright Fest, actually. No, it probably. It was the last episode.
That's right, yeah. Fucking out time's gone by quick, even though it hasn't
the substance. I said to Dan to watch
this. I watched this film and I was like, fuck me, I'm.
And I was tired. This is the end of the day of watching lots of
films at a festival and I was actually pretty tired and I almost bailed it.
I almost bailed watching this film because, I don't know, I'm pretty tired.
I went to watch it and I was just like, fuck me. I think this.
Maybe it's me and I'm tired, but I think this might be a classic film.
Then I spent about two or three days thinking about this movie
and going, nah, nah,
I'm correct. I think this is a classic horror movie and people need to
watch this now. So persuaded Dan to go watch it.
Dan. Yeah. So it hit cinemas this week as we record.
And a friend of ours, our Jamie Creedy, one of our friends and patrons,
also popped into his cinema to see it yesterday and
messaged me to say, I've got to be honest with you, mate, this might be
a future cult classic similar to what Gav had said. And I thought,
I'll try and make some time. I'll try make some time. So I managed to
pop along today as we record and watch it.
Obviously, I'm not really going to talk about it because this is a brand new
film, but we're definitely going to cover it. But what I'm going to
say is what
I put on Facebook today, which is, this is
definitely the best horror film this year. This might be the
best horror film in about the last 25 years. That is
a huge statement. And Gav agrees with me.
I'd be hard pushed to find something better than this. I need to go back
through the years and then pull out all the best films and then put them
next to it and go, nice.
And this is also the best body horror film, which again, Gav doesn't
like, but he loved this movie since probably since society
or the flight. So we're talking 8586-8788
and there's been. Other, other body horror because I know Sarah likes
them, like Cronenberg's son. There's been some great
body horror films. I don't know because I don't redo body horror
myself, but yeah, this just works for so many levels.
The difference is this isn't a straight up body horror film. The writing is
phenomenal. The performances are sublime, the effects are phenomenal.
Don't want to talk about anything about it because I would
like people to just go see it and experience it.
Because everything you love about horror, this will give to you
mixed into a lovely little blended milkshake from
all of your favorite directors and genres. And,
you know, and if you. I think this will appeal both to our
age group because of what I've just said. You're watching it thinking,
oh, that's a bit like, oh, that's a bit like. But not in a contrived
way. It's very, I mean,
Gav, you said, I'm going to quote you, you said, I do think this is
a masterpiece. Yeah. Now, how often do you say that about a movie that's
just come out? Not really. And lots of us, I think I've seen the once,
because normally you need to watch it a couple of times, then go, oh,
this is a masterpiece. But it's one of those films, I think, with more viewings
and over time you'd be like, wow, this. If this had come out in the
eighties, nineties or whatever, the eighties would have been
quite fine for it, napped for it to come out. It could have easily come
out in the eighties. It would have gone down
as a masterpiece. And I tell you another thing,
which we're all not even mentioning, which is definitely something to mention.
What masterpiece horror masterpiece films do we have which are directed by a woman?
Yes, indeed. None. This is directed by a lady.
Yeah. And it's kind of a woman's film, really. But it
doesn't push that on you when you're watching it. No, it's from a woman's
point of view. Yeah, but it's from a woman's point of view as well.
And it's directed by women, and it stars two women mainly.
And, yeah, it's about beauty, it's about vanity,
it's about corporate greed, it's about life,
choices. It's a classic.
Director Caroline Fagiat, who also directed
revenge. So this is only her second film. I know. And it's like
sometimes say Quentin Tarantino, actually, because that's
a lie. That's a lie. Creating Tantino's
second film was Resois dogs. I don't know if many people know this. And his
first film was a movie which he will never let anyone see because it was
so shit. Yeah. His first official film was.
Yeah. But anyway, for a second film, it makes
you go, what the fuck is she gonna do next?
The other thing about it is it's almost two and a half hours long.
And it really only felt like it was playing for about an hour.
How did that happen? I don't know. It just flows through. The last 20
minutes is bonkers. Absolutely. And it
might seem very high score, but Gav already knows
this. But I came out of that cinema feeling like it might be a nine.
And by the time the credits were rolling at the moment, that's a ten out
of ten film for me. That's why I say it's probably the best horror film
I've seen in about a quarter of a century, Gav, which.
Is eight out of ten for me. Sarah gave April,
it's eight out of ten or nine db. It probably comes out with repeated viewings.
I might give. It might drop to, like a nine, maybe even an eight,
but it's very high up. And I
had a lovely moment when it was over because only one other person came into
the viewing. It's a shame, but at first, in the morning, you're probably
not going to go watch that. No, but the guy, the other guy actually clapped
as the credits rolled. And he turned to me and he said, I think
we've just witnessed modern cult classic. And I said, I agree with
you. We ended up having. We ended up having a ten minute chat where
we talked about all of what our feelings and influences while we tried to process
it. And then he said, well, it was lovely to meet you. My name's Josh.
Did you mention the podcast? Yes, I did. I said I'd give
him a shout out, Joss. Oh, dude. And he
said, well, you go and process it, and I'll go and process
it. And I said, all right, fantastic. I spent a few days processing that movie.
Um, how nice is that, though? Like, it's just
you and one other person. Yeah.
Because of that. Yeah, yeah.
If it had been underworld like and throat 52,
and you went to watch that and it was him, when it credits rolled,
you would have not spoken, and you just both walked out. You might have been.
That was shit. That bit it. You know, if, as we
walked up 26. But this,
this is like people, get off your fucking
asses. Get down to cinema and go watch this film. Yeah, please go support
this. It's not. Movies will come out like this if.
People support this film in some way because it was dropped by universal because they
were worried about reception.
In some ways, that's a good thing. That's what I picked up,
Mubi.
I'm quoting my buddy RJ here. He said he feels it's a good thing that.
That universal didn't, because they might have over marketed it. And although people
aren't really seeing it, that's great, because people don't really know what's going on with
it or what it's about. As much as I'm saying to everybody, go watch it
in cinema, and you should sit on a big screen. I know people have big
screens at home. Speaking of which, Dan, I bought new tv, but I'll get
on to that. But, like, I think in renting
rentals, it's gonna go like. Like wildfires in
people. Have you seen this? Have you seen this? Have you seen this? And I
think rentals will probably pick up its value a bit more. But Sarah said
she went on a Monday night and it was packed. Cinema.
Yeah, I was an 11:00 a.m. today, so. And I was at frightened
fest, which is an epically large cinema with probably
like a thousand of people. I guess people
were laughing, clapping. Like, people stood up at the end, claps.
And this movie got like a ten minute standing ovation.
In France, it got best screenplay cans. You know,
it's insane. It's Demi Moore's best performance of her career, in my
opinion, again. And she's a. She's a damn financial naked.
She's very vulnerable. She's so vulnerable in
it, but she's incredible. And you guys, when you watch this, you just
wait. Yeah. So go.
Anyway, we're sponsored by Mubi, and we're gonna carry on
now the rest of the program. But, yeah, the substance. Highly,
highly, highly recommend it. That's enough of that. Now, I did
watch another film, which is shit. It's on
Netflix. Just hit UK. Netflix. Baghead.
I'd heard it was all right. It's shit.
Yeah. It's not really
a spoiler, but it's basically about a woman who
inherits a bag, a property.
And in the property in the basement, there's a hole in the wall,
and in the hole in the wall is a bag head creature.
And you give the baghead creature a piece
of memorabilia from a lost, deceased person,
it will eat it, and then it will turn into them for two minutes.
And it started off average,
and it stayed average, and then it just got boring. Kind of
makes me feel like recently I didn't watch it all. I started watching the cobbler.
Adam Sandler reminds me of that. He puts
on other people's shoes and he turns into them. The cobbler is better.
Cobbler is better.
I'll be watching a few Adam Sanders in the background. What's this?
I said, this is Happy Gilmore. He's one of
the sequels coming out. Happy Gilmore two. Netflix, but,
yeah, avoid Baghead. Not good.
I watched the matrix the other day. I've got a moving
house in and I've got just not many more. I've packed
all my movies away, but I've got a few in front of dvd players.
I want to watch these before I go because they've been sitting there for fucking,
like two years. I watched these fucking films. One of them was
a matrix. I saw it when it first came out. Yeah,
check that out. And I was like, well, I do like the old AI simulation
things. And now it feels a bit more. It's kind of like they were a
bit of ahead of their game a little bit. They were.
They were, yeah. It's very obviously, it's groundbreaking
cinema because of
the invention of the James Cameron.
Yeah. But also like the. The cameras, bullet time cameras
that were invented specifically for that film. Will Smith turned
that film down. Will Smith, they went to him and they said, we've got this
thing we're gonna do. We're going to put cameras all in a circle around
you and you're going to be neo. And he was like,
go on. And did his laugh and said, I'm not
doing that. It sounds rubbish. Then when he saw it, he was like, what?
Yeah, I'm glad slappy Smith won in it because he just. I just don't
think he was. I think Keanu does it really well. Actually plays it down
quite well. I actually quite enjoyed the film. It's right. It's funny,
though, watching that gung fu stuff with a camera in slow mo now,
you, like, see so much CGI and there's so much AI
stuff nowadays. You can do anything. So it doesn't feel as exciting
anymore, unfortunately. But that's why the second and third one
was so jarring to me. Because the first one was all practical wires
and the second and third one was so much CGI. Just looked like a video
game. So I really only prefer the third one.
Yeah, the first one is the best one. And 1999,
in my opinion, still the best year for a cinema in
probably my lifetime.
Good stuff coming out that year. I don't know. I think.
Isn't 84, like, the best year? Yeah, yeah, they're good.
But 99 was great. Groundbreaking stuff going on in 99
when that long ago. Well, I was
not knowledgeable rather than remembrance.
Imagine being in the seventies watching cinema when it
wasn't CGI. So when you saw a car crash,
it's probably someone almost dying when they actually did it. But, like, every time
you saw something bigger, so say, like, say the
sorcerer and you saw the truck in the thing in the cinema and the
bridge, it would have been so, like,
emotional f. Oh, my God. Because it was. Because you're
like, that's probably not some strings on a bridge or anything.
Once CGI, they didn't even think about that. The computers weren't doing things then.
But imagine that, though, like, the power of cinema at that point where
now it's kind of been lost because we can do anything. Well, the reason I
say that about 1999 is just because it felt like all the films that
came out, really, this is back when I used to read Empire magazine and go
to the cinema probably twice a week. All the films that come out were changing
the face of cinema. So let me just reel off a couple from that year.
Fight Club, the Matrix,
american beauty, the Green Mile, eyes wide shut,
the 6th sense being John Malkovich,
Magnolia Girl, interrupted.
And then you've got, like, south part of the movie, you know, that was a
big one that came out as well. American Pie, the Blair witch project list.
You just said they're all revolutionary. There's a couple of them, all right.
But I watched thingy recent. Not that long ago.
Her eyes wide shut. That was shit. That spent two
and a half years. What I mean is, like, that was Kubrick's last movie,
you know? And then you had, like, the Matrix, which changed action cinema.
Fight Club, which was just like, visually something you'd never seen.
The Blair Witch project, which kind of reinvented horror.
Really. There's a lot, a lot that year, which was just
crazy american pie. I mean, we'd never seen such rude stuff
since. What was it called? Porky's and all those movies.
Hmm. Austin Powers, deep Blue Sea. That classic.
Anyway, it's enough about 1999. I'm out in the woods tomorrow night,
filming finale of a found footage film. Oh,
fantastic. You've segued so perfectly there. Because I've got
some woods to talk about. But you talk about your woods first. Nothing really.
I just could go out and. We're finishing shooting. Amanda, you know this because you're
on the WhatsApp group, so I know you can see the messages just
organized. And feel free to come down tomorrow evening.
Thanks, I'll try. But, yes, quite nice to go and get
that film finished then. I've only got a couple more scenes to shoot. And.
Yeah, I started color grading it the other day and I was like, fuck me,
actually, looks really nice because it's a regular camera. It's nothing fancy.
So hopefully, in next couple of months, we have a new feature film finished.
Which I cannot wait to see.
And then. And then I can start writing the next one, which we've already
got fucking planned already. We've scored guns and things. You've seen
the guns and the ammos. Everything's been bought. Yes, we've got. We got all the
shit. Which. Not a script. I need to start writing it.
Shit. Don't have a script. Yeah.
Now, talking of woods and color grading,
I went back to the woods, back to 2004, because we
recently covered Shyamalan, and I've been meaning to watch it. So I watched the village,
and I love that film. I was gonna watch it again, actually, at some point.
It's on Disney. Plus, all of his films are funny enough.
So, yeah, really loved that. Forgot about the
incredible cast. Corny Weaver, William Hurt. Obviously,
Joachim's in it again. What's his name?
Adrian Brody. And, yeah, the color saturation
on that is fantastic. With the reds and the yellows to make it feel like
it is a period piece. And it
held up really, really well and forgot. It was quite scary at
times as well. But although I know what the creatures are, so that's
one of the two woods films I watched. The other one I watched was a
brand new film, Gav, from 2024 this year.
That is okay in a violent nature of.
I will watch it. I'm not rushing to see it, but we'll
watch it. So I gave it seven out of ten.
That's quite high, which is high. But I
was still a little disappointed with it. I wanted more from it,
because the problem is that we are both
huge Friday the 13th fans, and for years, we have fantasized
about what it would be like to watch jason, you know, behind the
scenes, where does he go? What does he do? What does he eat? Where does
he sleep? But I've never wanted to watch as a feature, maybe for a short
film, for like two minutes long for a skit. Do you
know what I mean? Yeah. What I will say about it is it's
got some of the best, goriest death scenes I've
probably ever seen. Effects artist, first turned director.
There's two in particular. And my wife,
I feel sorry for her. She came in about halfway through and sat down.
There was one death that she witnessed, and she couldn't take her out. I said,
don't look at this bit. Don't look at it. But it's too late. She was
watching the whole thing. She was like, why is he doing it? Why isn't he
stopping? You have to show the substance. And I was like, oh, she would
like that. I was thinking, she really like that?
But yeah, so it's very gory.
I don't care about the slowness of inner violent nature because I
expect to watch a man trudging along. It's basically
a Friday the 13th movie. And I did say to you, didn't I, off air.
I said, if they'd have just made it like a POV
Jason movie, actually would have given it more sort of
clout. But it's still worth a watch and it's on shudder and it's
on, you know, prime and stuff. So if you've got access to that in a
binary nature, it's definitely good. Just get ready for the gore when it comes.
It is insane and it's insanely practical.
The director has got a second one.
Lined up in his head as the sequel.
Yeah, that surprised me.
Yeah, it's good. It's weird to give a film seven
out of ten, but not really saying that. Yeah, that sounds
weird, but yeah, it's. Because I wanted more. That's where I was going with that.
Because I'm a. Yeah, give it a. Higher score because you
wanted it to have that. I know, I just want,
I just wanted it to be really, really like a tan. But thank God
I saw the substance today. That's the main thing. Now, gav,
you've got something to talk about with John Carpenter.
Can you explain, please? Tom meant I on the
Deadbolt pay group, early age, sending things, saying John Carpenters
opened up an account on that box. And reviewing his films, I was like,
I don't think he is. But now looks users out
there. Oh, I did join up.
I didn't understand it in the slightest and I've not been on
since. I couldn't understand what I do or how I look at anything.
It's really. I just didn't understand it. So I was like,
OMDB, it's so much easier. You just type the name in and look at it.
That's just. I couldn't. I just, I don't know how I look up anything.
I just, I don't know. Fair enough. So I haven't been on since deleted
the app. Sorry. I know I said I was gonna
do it. Yeah. So John Copter came on this thing,
but I know these are, these are not true. This is
not John Copter, but I'm gonna play a game. I've only got four of them,
which were sent to me and we're gonna play game. Is this
John Carpenter or is this not? And Dan's gonna play along. And I actually
already know it's not gonna be dark star. Half score.
Embarrassing. I had not a single clue what I was doing. It's funny
to think I thought a limousine would pick me up and take me off to
my first studio set. After they world saw this movie
that never happened, I almost gave up and moved back home to Kentucky. But I
refused to let the world kick me down. Kinda people tell me they
really like this one, and I tell them they're crazy.
Hopefully your feature debut will be better than this. Won't be
hard. So is it out of five on letterbox?
Yes. So he gives it his own film. I think,
to be fair, Dark Star is one of the weaker and a lot of
people love it, but I don't agree.
He made it a college. I think that that's real. I think that he's.
Because what I love about that there is. Because John Carpenter is a bit
of a grumpy bastard nowadays. What I love about that there is whoever's written
that must be John Carpenter, because it's almost like a little bit of a mini
autobiography. Well, okay, Halloween two.
So that's. Am I right? Was that him? Well, no, I don't think it is
him. We don't know. We will never know. Okay, Halloween two,
one star. They paid me more money than I'd ever
seen to write a sequel to a film that did not need.
I took the check, spent it on beers to get me drunk enough to
plough through this crap. I looked at the final script, which I
like Halloween to myself. I look at the final script, which took a whopping two
days to write, and said, wow, now that's a piece of shit. And it was.
I had faith in Rick Ross and foul,
and he did not deliver. I suppose I expected him to be
a miracle worker and nobody could have made this work. I don't regret
hiring him.
Now, very quick tangent. I said recently that I
prefer, these days, I prefer watching Halloween two to Halloween one
just because I've seen Halloween one to death. And I like to watch the sequel
more than the first one lately. But I don't feel
like that's him saying that. I don't think even he's that grumpy.
I don't think so. I don't think he'd say I bought enough beers to power
through this show. I don't think he'd say that no. Memoirs of Invisible
man, half a score. I fucking hate this part of shit and want every
copy burnt. Tom would like that. I could see.
How do we in four? The return of Michael Myers. Oh,
God. No stars, it seems. I think
this is one of the better sequels. I prefer it to the second one,
that's for sure. Dwight little did a good job I've not seen in a
long time. Is this the one where Myers picks up a rifle and
stabs someone through the stomach instead of shooting it? Now that's funny.
God, I know. Speaking of Michael Myers.
What? Reckon I'm gonna say no, I'm gonna. The first one,
the very first one made me think that could be John Carpenter,
but the others are so grumpy that
I don't think even he's that grumpy, really. I think it's a bit of an
act. He's in real life. He's quite a sweetie.
Yeah. Bit grumpy nowadays, but does like payday. So, um. So I
was work. Where was I working? Oh, I was working in a chemist.
I was doing some stuff and managers there and she's
chatting someone else, saying. And they came in the other day and they're just taking
photographs or stuff. And when I challenged them, said, who are you? What are you
doing? They said they were Mike Myers. And I just like,
Myers, who's a. And I was just listening to this game. What,
what, what was this? Someone just like, having a laugh saying,
I'm Michael Myers. When they said, what's your name? Oh,
Michael Myers or what? It's a bit weird,
but unless it was Mike Myers, the Canadian. Canadian,
yeah. That's that joke in a baby driver,
isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I said, michael Myers masks.
And it's Michael Myers. It's very good.
Yeah. Anyway, well, there we go. Yeah, I guess
the takeaway there is go watch the substance nag.
Pretty much. Listen, Terrence Fisher, before we
take our break and go into our first trailer, we're just gonna have a quick
chat about Terrence Fisher, the director, the man,
the legend. Mc Hammer, as I like to call. Him,
heard us the other day. Mc Hammer was the most feared person in
the rap industry. Indeed. Yeah. Yeah, that's money, though, again.
But that is until P Diddy came along.
Ooh. P. Diddy came along with all his bottles of lube and went,
get the slip out of here, man. Mc Hammer didn't need the lube.
But no, MC Hammer was so well connected because where he's from in oakland,
that was quite a high quantity of gangs there, and he was connected to a
lot of the gangs. He actually brought a lot of the gangs together. He's a
bit like a Robin Hood, but. So although people don't really dig
his rapping because he's not the best rapper, but I
was a big fan of. But because he was a performer, a dancer
rapper, and all of that, people were like, we just love him because he brings
all the gangs together. He had a bit of religion in there because he was
a bit of a gospel rapper as well. And then he got resigned to death
Row Records. Did he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Did he? I like, what? You didn't even mean
to do that. Yeah, no, he got signed to death Row Records right at the
end, and there's, like, pictures of him, snoop two park and
Dre and Sue Knighthood. I also heard
Doctor Dre had a videotape stolen from his house,
from his private collection Once Upon a Time. Yeah. And,
yeah, I was listening earlier, and he's on a rage, and they said, tell us
all about. He says, how to take stolen from our private collection.
And they said, oh, is it like the sort of, like the Pam Lanson
type thing? Says, no way, way worse.
And everyone went kind of laughing, said,
snoop, you're on it. And stoops the fuck. Oh,
God. Never gets shines.
Somewhere out there's a tape someone's gonna one day say, give me some money.
I'm sure they would have done by now.
There's a lot of tapes out there, and I don't know if I really want
to know about.
A lot of my heroes are getting destroyed. Want to see
any. Any music artist really likes naked having sex. It's just
not what I want to see. Let's hear them rap, you know?
Yeah, I want to see you rap. I don't want to see a sack do
that stuff. It's not. It's not what I signed up for.
That's what they probably fought when they signed up for the bad boy records.
This is not what I signed up for. No. Well, I know we're
not gonna get onto it, but very cool. Terrence is waiting in the wings.
I know. Very quickly, Gop Diddy with one of them women.
He. He told her that she would. This is all alleged,
by the way. Yeah. It said she would have an album,
and he had producers work her album, which would never, ever be seen,
and he knew that no one would ever know the album, but it's just to
keep control of her so that that person would know that they were okay.
He's actually doing what. I'll keep doing what it says because this album's being recorded
with the attention never been released. What a cunta.
Yeah, it's power. What a gun. He does. He deserves to
fucking go down. I'm glad he is. I'm glad he's sitting in the cell now
going, I don't like this food. Well, he always called himself
bad boy. And I think he probably was such an ego.
Anyway, let's not do this. Let's talk about Terrence. Terrence Fisher,
talking of hammer that we segued briefly there onto P. Diddy.
But we're back. We're back to Terrence. Terrence Fisher,
born in 1904 and
he died, sadly, in 1980,
but obviously best known for here. He was a director best known
for working in Hammer Studios, which is why we're covering two hammer
horror films today. He's the first person to do gothic
horror in full color. People often say that he's the reason,
you know, the first person to do that. And he's also the first person
to bring in sexual overtones and gallons
of bright red blood. So Hammer
really wasn't really hammer until Terrence brought in cleavage
and thick splashed blood everywhere.
Good man. Yeah, you know, and again, you know,
these universal movies were fantastic in black and
white, but he decided he would remake them all in bright british
color and give them that british spin as. Well and really utilize
staple actor Hammer studios. The amount of people
they go, oh, that's the bartender from the Gorgon or what
the fuck, you know. Yeah. Well, often the Hammer films were
filmed, as we know, back to back, you know, using the same sets and stuff.
So he was 16 when he left school and he
joined the Navy for five years. And then he
decided he wanted to get into the film industry. So in 1933
he joined, you've probably heard of Limegrove Studios as a clapper
boy, just a little clapper boy clapping away. And he then
worked his way up to editor throughout the very early
thirties until he became a director in the mid
to late forties. And Hammer
decided they wanted him for their first hammer
film that they picked him for was the curse of Frankenstein
from 1957. So he'd done quite a few tv
bits and bobs, a lot of editing. He did the adventures of Robin
Hood on tv in the fifties as well in Britain. But yeah, Curse of Frankenstein
was his 1st. 119 57.
You get now anyway, because for necessity and budget,
all reasons, especially indie cinema directors who are editors,
but if you get someone who's worked the way up and if they've worked in
editing and then gone on to direct it. When you're directing,
it helps you to know, okay, we can edit here, we can edit
there. Even if you're not editing, you can discuss that with your editor.
That's been hard to edit the film, but you know, that's gonna cut with that.
That's good couple. That's good couple that. And ultimately save perhaps
a bit of money in time. Yeah, absolutely. And nowadays
directors do it because they can't afford to. I do it myself because I just
love editing more than directing.
I like editing, but, yeah. So it
definitely helps a director and their craft.
So he was hand picked by agreed Tilly,
and he was hand picked by Hammer for this project because he had
such an amazing reputation in the film and tv industry for
reliability and like you just said, saving time,
saving money and getting the job done, but doing a quality work as well.
Quality job as well. And it was a really, really important project because
it was obviously a Frankenstein movie. And they had Christopher
Lee and they had Peter cushion in it.
And is this going to work? Well, it was the most
financially successful hammer project at that point.
So they got him back immediately and said, we need you to do
another one with us. Will you please do Dracula a year later?
So he did Dracula in 1958. It made even more money.
Oh, actually, I started watching that the other night. Fantastic movie.
Yeah. And that made even more money and it got back cushion again.
And Lee, I've seen it many times before. They were getting
more money from their producers then. So to have bigger budgets
and bigger budgets each time.
He then stuck to horror. He decided horror is where I like to work.
The only one time he kind of veered away from it slightly was hand in
the basketballs, which we're going to be talking about on this episode. But that's still
got some spooky horror vibes to it.
It's in horror collection. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
It's the only Sherlock Holmes movie that is. Or only Sherlock Holmes story or
book that is slightly. Although it's revealed to a Scooby
Doo. As a kid, I always loved the hound
and the basket. A big dog on the, on the misty.
Obviously it's revealed that, you know, it's not supernatural,
but the Sherlock Holmes story is kind
of told in that it. Even Holmes questions it during the story.
So. Yeah, Henry the Baskervilles, he then went on to do the mummy again
with Cushing and Lee. He worked so comfortably with them and they already liked
each other. And then he went on to do lots of scenes,
Revenge of Frankenstein, a few movies that moved
away from the sort of the universal, and I use that in quotation monsters
type things. He came back and did a few sequels here and there
and it was starting to wear
a bit thin on him. He had a couple of car crashes where he
had to take quite a long break from
doing any work. I think he had two car crashes in two years.
And by the time he'd recovered from them both, the industry had moved on a
bit and he was. He tried to get back into it.
Yeah, he did come back and do curse of the werewolf in 1961,
and that was then he did Phantom of the Opera in 62,
which was their most expensive film today,
and actually didn't really make much money. I never seen it and I
never realized. Hammered at Phantom of the Opera. Well, he didn't work
for Hammer for two years after that one because it didn't really make much money.
He then went and worked with other studios for a little bit,
and it wasn't until he did night of
the big heat, which you've seen and I've seen. We love that one.
Hammer then said to him, come back and make this film called the devil rides
out. And that's what tempted him back in 1968.
He said, you know, what great. And what a film that
is. What a film that is. And then he
did Frankenstein must be destroyed.
And then he did Frankenstein, the monster from Hell, which was an
absolute financial bomb. And that
was kind of what killed Hammer, really. Hammer. Horror didn't really
recover much after that, and his career didn't really cover much after
that, and six years
later. So he retired a couple years
after that, and then he. Six years later, he died at the
age of 76 in 1980. But the
gist of this, really, is he was sought out by Hammer, who wanted to
change the face of british film and
horror, and he sure as hell
made a damn dent in it with an incredible
career, which we'll briefly run through in a moment. I've already mentioned
a few of his movies, but the guy
is really hammer. He's the guy. He's like. Like you said, he's the James Whale
of Hammer, really, isn't he? Universal?
Yeah, no, he's the James Whale.
Yeah, he really is. So, yeah, we'll run
through his monster movies. I'll give our
quick opinions on them or what we think of them, if there's anything to say,
and then we'll talk about Hound of the basketballs.
So Christopher Frankenstein was his first one,
which is really just Frankenstein you know, it's not a sequel,
but. And that was Christopher Lee, which is a bit weird to see him has
as Frankenstein. It's very different look, they weren't allowed to
use the same makeup effects or tile or sort of style as
the universal Frankenstein. It's an alright film,
obviously. Hand of the Baxter was 59. He also did the mummy in 59,
so he's a busy man as it was back then. You know, these british film
studios were churning them out. As you said, though, Gav. That's because we know
they were using the same stable actors, same studios and
sets, just churning them out. It's very, very. All very efficient,
wasn't it? It was like a nine to five job. The same
year as the mummy and Hannah Damascus. He also did the man who could cheat
death and the strangers of Bombay. So 1234
movies in one year,
three films in 1962. Faces of Doctor Jekyll, the bride of
Dracula and the Sword of Sherwood Forest.
And then in 61, just the one movie, the Curse of the werewolf,
which we're covering.
62, he did Phantom of the Opera, Sherlock Holmes and the deadly necklace.
63, the horror of it all. One of my favorites was
64, the gorgon.
66, one of your childhood stresses.
Prince of darkness. Yep. Dracula, Prince of Darkness, which made you feel
a bit queasy when they cut the throat and had. Turn it off.
Watch it, mum. Also island of Terror that
year, 67, he did not the big heat,
which I'm a really big fan of, but for Hammer, he did Frankenstein, created woman,
the devil rides out. And then
69 was Frankenstein must be destroyed. Then he had those
two accidents, came back and made Frankenstein and the monster from hell,
which I believe starred what's
his name? Darth Vader. Why can't I remember his name?
You know, the guy from Bristol who played Darth Vader hime
as Frankenstein. So that was. That was him. So a hell
of a career. Pretty much all of their main. You know, he's done a werewolf
movies and the Gorgon movies and Frankenstein movies,
Dracula movies. He's done all of them, really. And even a couple
of Sherlock Holmes in there, some Robin Hood.
Fantastic career. And.
Yeah. Thing about these older directors is,
and it'd be the same with James. Well, there's not an awful lot written down
about them because it's not like they had social media or anything
back then. You know, it was just like, this is when I. Yeah,
for him, it was literally did a damn good job.
All right, cool. So let's get into a trailer for
the hound of the Baskervilles. And we'll get chat about
that.
Know then the legend of the Hound of the Baskervilles.
Take heed and beware the moor in those dark hours
when evil is exalted. Else you will surely
meet the Hound of hell. The Hound
of the Baskervilles.
Which way, for heaven's sake? Which way?
The greatest story ever written by one of the world's greatest storytellers.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's classic masterpiece of mystery,
suspense and horror, the Hound of the Baskervilles.
Some revolting sacrificial rite has been performed.
What depths a human being can sink to? What human
being could have done this?
That is precisely what I intend to find out. But how can you
be so certain that somebody took one of the bishop's spiders
and deliberately placed it in Sir Henry's room? That it wasn't in the luggage he
brought from South Africa? Elementary, my dear Watson.
There are no tarantulas in South Africa.
What do you want me to do? Identify any. Anything I may find.
Strange things are to be found on the moor. Like this, for instance.
Swine. You thought it was going to be easy,
didn't you? Didn't you? You won't be the first of
your. Family who thought that. And you won't be the first
to die because of it.
The hound of the Baskervilles from 1959.
I'm not going to bother with that. Pg hour and 27 minutes. When a nobleman.
I see. I am. When a nobleman is threatened by a family curse
on his newly inherited state, Detective Sherlock Holmes.
It's hard to investigate what
goings on will happen in the moors.
Great book. Yeah, it's a good crammer.
The only one that hammer did of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's works.
And it's a good one because like we said earlier, it's a spooky one.
It's set on the moors. It's very sort of hammery,
the setting and the big manor house out in the middle of
nowhere and, you know, a potential curse. Like I said,
it's a bit of a Scooby Doo vibe. Well, because, you know,
we find out that it's not really a curse, it's someone pretending to scare
people. Like are these pesky kids, you know, that kind of whole thing.
But it's good and it's very classy, very nice
and I enjoy it. It's a good rainy,
rainy afternoon film. Yeah, I'll happily put this
film on. I did actually just check out
when I was just getting a trader from YouTube. The actual
whole film is on YouTube, if anyone fancy. It's not gonna be like
some crazy high definition, but I've got a Blu ray copy, which is fantastic.
I watched it on YouTube and it was in very good condition, very good definition.
Yeah. A lot of these films are now because they're so old, you know,
59 now. But yeah, it's only an hour and 27,
so it's not going to eat into your day as well. If you want to
check it out. It comes and it goes and it does the job. Most people
know the story as well. Someone comes up to Holmes
and says, oh, there's a. Someone that's been a fingers
a curse and blah, blah, blah. And Sherlock says, okay, I said,
watson. Watson goes down and Sherlock comes down a little bit later on,
but keeps an eye on things. Yeah, I like that. Yeah.
And there's a escape prisoner, etc. We get into it.
Let's do it. Let's do it then. So I love the fact.
I love. This is the thing with these hammer movies. It starts up by a
bunch of cunts, a real bunch of, oh,
I've got all the money in the world. Private boy cunt types,
really. Just not saying that if you go to school, you're cunt.
But like, these are really like entitled
group in a pub. And the first thing they do is they just throw someone
out window and they're laughing like it's just like the average thing you
see down the right. I see where you're going with that now. I thought you
were talking about the producers, the credits, I think. No, no,
in the movie itself. And we get this group of guys in the pub,
just really horrible. And one guy's just happens
to be a Baskerville, really horrible, entitled I've
got money. Funny. We see this in the news daily. Always entitled
people got money, hero cunts.
And this is what's going on. And he's so horrible,
isn't he, to this. This one, he's horrible to dad. And he's actually
like, got that dad's daughter tied up in.
Locked up in a room upstairs to go and do whatever they want with.
And the dad's coming and says, please, my daughter. And they've thrown him
out. They're just giving you a shit. It's like, what indeed? I mean, it's a
hell of a way to start a Sherlock Holmes story, but it is
what happens. But we get. Just for that, we get the classic
hammer of spooky credits and score and avoid.
That's okay. Let me get the voice over introducing us to, you know,
this is Baskerville Manor and this is. This is the
established Lord Baskerville. And basically,
like gavs just said, they're a bunch of frat boys. They're like a frat fraternity
and they're having drinking games and. Yeah, they. They throw that guy
out the window, this one guy whose daughter was upstairs, and they just
go outside and drag him back in, the filthy pig and roast
him by the fire like their piggy ears. So they sort of put
him by the fire and try and burn him by the fire and he
says, my daughter, like you said. And upstairs there's this busty chick
that they're like, basically betting on. And they're like,
well, I'm not going to bet you money. I'll bet you what I've got
upstairs. And I. You mean the girl? All right, then, great. Let's bet on.
She can be the prize when there's. So they're just doing these horrible
fratz boy games and.
Yeah, it's not. It's just not very nice. Using a woman
as a prize or a human being of any kind is a prize.
But. But Sir
Hugo, who is the. The main basketball.
I do love the classic very quickly, the classic horror colors of the green and
red in their felt jackets. Yeah, it's just. It's just
really nice. Just looking hammer. Have a.
I was gonna say that they've got a color palette, you know,
and it is what it is. It's like reading a comic book come to
life. You know, a comic book from a long time ago as
well. So Sir Hugo goes to fetch
the girl the prize,
and he goes out there and the windows open and he turns and says,
the bitch has got away. So what does he
do, Gav? He does a smithers, doesn't he? Not smithers.
Burns. Send a pack of hounds on them.
Set the hangs on her.
Because the lady who doesn't want to be with. You,
she doesn't want to be gang. Ray locked upstairs. Yeah. Does what?
Being you abuse her father, who's an old man,
just because they. She's managed to get away. You're gonna kill her.
I. Yep. He says, mount up,
let loose the pack on her. By Jove, we're going on a hunt.
And actually the rest of the frat party will sort of back out at this
point. And they realise it's okay. He gets his
comeuppance. We're not going to go with you. And he goes, well, by Jove,
I'll get her if it's the last thing I'll do. And he goes off.
And as he sets off, he goes. Off like he's fox hunting. We get
that classic hammer weather coming then, don't we? Thunder and lightning and
rain. Epic action.
So she's running across the moors, barefoot,
cleavage bouncing around rock area. She comes to,
doesn't, he finds her. He's got
his dogs with her. He stabs her. Do you know why he stabs her?
Because he couldn't rape her. Well, hang on, let's get before
that.
So he loses her, even though the dogs, you know, he can't find.
And the dogs are trying to find her. And then the dogs get
scared because they hear a big.
Very good, Catherine. Very good. They hear a
big howl like that and it's terrifying how,
you know, in any other movie you think it's a werewolf. It's kind of.
If you didn't know this story, you'd probably think it was. I was the other
night standing in the woods
where it got dark with night vision goggles on, just by myself.
Brilliant dogging. No, funny enough,
a person walked past me in the path and it's getting dark, so obviously going
back to the car. And I just stood still and I was like, they can't
see me. Oh, my God. Sinus of the lambs.
It was. I didn't silence the lambs, anyone, because I was testing these
goggles out anyway, and there was a sound
in there and I was like, oh, is that a deer? I don't know,
because I was completely still and it's dark. I've got his, but I could see.
But just whenever you hear a sound out light. So if you're out Moore's
or something and you hear that howl.
Oh, yeah, that's american rail for London. It's that basically they've done
the hound of bascules and the beginning of american ware for London. It's the same
principle. It's just like, shit. That doesn't sound good. And what's great as well
is that the hounds that he's got with him, all. There's probably a hundred of
them, they all run off and whimpered. So the dogs
are scared of whatever this is. Excuse me. And then the horse
gets scared too and doesn't really want to go forward anymore.
And we get a great close up here of the girl hiding behind,
like a pillar of, like a little bridge over a little brook,
right up close to the camera and then blurred in the background. You can just
make out Sir Hugo getting off of his. Just slightly out of
focus, getting off the horse. And he's trying to find her, he grabs
her and he calls her a witch. You damn witch.
You escaped from me. And like you said,
because he can't rape her, he pulls out a curved dagger to stab
her. And the connection of that, though, obviously he couldn't rape
her with his penis, cause trauma with his penis.
So he causes trauma with a knife, which is the same motion.
But before he can quite interest in a horrible way,
well, before he can stab her, another howl, which sort of stops
him in his tracks. This time we also hear some growling as well.
And then, then he. Thank you. And then he turns around
and we. Are doing a radio play. We get the sort of pov of
whatever. This hound is approaching him.
No, dear God, no. And then it kills him. We don't see. Which is exactly
how you should play that. Yeah, it's perfect.
And that is your opening. Really? It says, cunt gets it.
Yep. He does. Yeah, he does indeed.
So this exact story being told
to Sherlock Holmes and Baker in Baker Street.
Doctor Mortimer is here telling a story. To Doctor
Watson and Asheroc Herms. Yeah.
And he says, and that was the curse of Sir Hugo and the Hound from
hell. It's like he's just finished a bedtime story. It's so fun for the
way it's done, though. And when he says, obviously, saying that
Holmes is like, dear God, I don't. Know if you could read that
as a bedtime story. So then the lady who was going to be gang raped
by the men escapes and he sends a pack of hounds. Daddy, is this
a tear apart? It's not real. It's through a book and a
movie. It's not a good bedtime.
Well, he's reading the legend to Holmes and Holmes
stops him in his tracks. And obviously Holmes is the most logical Mandev since Doctor
Spock. He just says,
stop there. This is just a folk story. Why are you.
Why are you telling me this? I'll tell you why. And he says, I'll tell
you why you're telling me this, because something happened on Friday the
13th and the guy's like, how the hell do
you know all of this? And he's like, segue very, very quickly to a film
which got pan and dissed and I really like it
and find it very funny, which is Holmes and Watson.
Don't think I've seen it. Oh, is that the one with Will Ferrell?
Yeah. Sherlock Holmes. Have you seen it? I hated it. I'm so sorry.
Most people hate it. I really, really like
it. I find it fucking hilarious. When he's in the carriageway and watson
is like, okay, let's play a game. And does a game to him.
And he gets right because he's homes. Goes right to the end of the game.
So it's because of that reason he goes, what? And he beats him before they
can even do the game because he's gone ahead, done the whole game sort of
thing. It's just a lot of funny things in it. I really like that movie,
actually. Maybe I'll revisit it. Sometimes. I watch it
fairly. It's kind of like my chips. I don't think people like that.
I like chips. Okay, chips. But I quite. If I sit on Netflix,
like cooking a Sunday roast or something, the kids or something, I've got my headphones
on, I'm cooking like I'm watching folk. And Holmes and Watson put on.
I'm laughing away at it. I find it really funny. Anyway.
Segue. Well, Holmes is figuring
out that something happened on Friday the 13th from a little
sleepy place in Devon. And this doctor Morton was like, how on earth
have you worked this out? And he says, he says, because the paper
you're reading, isn't he? He says, because the paper you're reading, I can
see where it is printed. And I can also tell you about that paper that
they only print that paper on a. Whatever day of the week.
So therefore, the event that you're telling me about happened on a Friday the 13th,
da da da da da. So why don't you cut to the chase and tell
us actually why you're here? No wonder he
wrote into that Holmes was opium.
He had to have something to relieve that mind, otherwise you'd
go crazy. Imagine being like Elon
Musk. He's like, I just want to go to sleep.
So he says, look, just tell us why. Here, give me the facts. And he
says, all right, I'm here because of the death of Sir Charles
Baskerville two weeks ago on the moors.
He says, all right, well, how did he die? He said he died of a
heart failure. But the look of horror
on his face. I just want plain facts, Mortimer. Plain facts.
Yeah, he doesn't want any of this nonsense. He just wants the plain facts.
Yeah, you just want the a to b, not the fucking a to z to
b. He says to him, now, the thing is, this guy was
pretty loaded, and he's got a nephew who's coming in from South Africa.
Christopher Lee called Sir Henry, and he's
going to be inheriting this. It's a million
pounds, isn't it? Everything's worth. And he said,
I'm a bit worried he might be next, so I need you to investigate this,
please. What's happened? I got feeling someone knocked him off.
He says, well, what makes you think that? He says,
because there were strange footprints around his body.
Almost like someone was tiptoeing around and eats
juices. It's not tip turn, it's running.
Running. Same. Same motion, isn't it? Feet. I suppose
it is, yeah. And Holmes then says, well, look,
I want to ask you a question. Do you really believe in dark
forces? And Doctor Mortimer. So this is our little horror
elevation. He's so good at Holmes. He's great, isn't he? Yeah, because he's a
bit. Bit cunty as well. Because Holmes is always a
little bit. No, Holmes is always a little bit. Yeah.
It's not cunt. Yeah, but sometimes it can be. There's one scene in this later,
patronizing. But he only does that because he sometimes when he's a cunt, it's on
purpose. He's doing it. It's a forced cunt. It's not actually him being a cunt.
He's doing it for a reason, to find something else out there. And he
does it in this. Yes. Which you're gonna see. He does it later on.
Very rude. Rudely later. And then I realized why he was doing it.
But he nevertheless, he accepts the case.
I love it. He turns to Watson, he says, this is a two pipe case,
Watson, I need more tobacco, more opium. Yeah, I totally got
that there. Two pipe cases. Yeah, just sit that. There's enough smoke just to
go. That's about 20 minutes to think.
Brilliant, you know. So he, um,
he sends Watson, doesn't he? Says to Watson, you're gonna have to go on your
own in. Oh, actually, no, no, they go to the hotel first.
He says to me, you're not doing anything, are you, Watson?
No, no. Okay, well, why don't you go down there and
I'll join you in a week. Well, actually, before that, they do go to
meet Sir Henry at the hotel, don't they? Oh, okay, sorry.
Yeah, I got it wrong, too. It's fine. They go to. So they go.
There's a quite a classic case of mistaken identity here where they turn up at
Christopher Lee, who plays Sir Henry at his hotel room, and he just,
as soon as he sees them, he goes, good God, what's taking you so long
to get here? I've lost one of my boots. You know, everything's crap about this
hotel. You're supposed to be a manager. He hasn't even said, who are you?
And he doesn't know he's speaking to Holmes and Watson. Anything?
Well, he thinks it's the hotel magic. He's lost a boot. Ah.
Anything goes like that in a, you know, a murder mystery
type thing. If something happens and it's slightly signaled. Slightly. You're like,
yeah, hmm. You've lost a boo.
Okay. And then Doctor Mortimer
arrives and he's like, do you know, these two are. They're not the hotel
owners. Their homes. And Watson, he's like, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so sorry. I might just watch this film once we finish recording again,
because I do quite like this. Just Chuck. It's good, isn't it? It's good.
So they do formal introductions and then they really chat
about who he is. He's come in from Johannesburg, South Africa, that's where he lived.
And he intends to move into this huge mansion on the moors.
They ask him very specific questions and
they're a bit embarrassed. He's like, how much is it worth? Just tell me.
I don't care. I'm. I just need to know. A million pounds.
Great. Now, obviously that's a lot of money, but then it's a lot of money
now. And then he says, and how much? What about you, Doctor Mortimer?
And he's like, well, he left me 14,000 pounds. And he's like,
okay,
it's 40, actually. 40,000, which actually is a
ridiculously huge amount of money. And you're thinking like. Because he says to
Mortimer says, well, I don't need to know how much I got. Well, I do,
because it's important for the case. 40,000, if you must know.
And it's like, whoa. He says, well, I was his best friend after all,
isn't it? And then he says to Sir Henry Christopher Lee,
he says to him, you're the last in line, and I think your life
may be in danger. And Christopher Lee's like, do you know what?
I don't care. I've just inherited a million pounds worth of mansion
on the moors and I am moving on in, baby.
Yeah, it's one of those things, though, when you. If this
was okay. You're by yourself, though. I know you've got Alice and the
kids, but if you were by yourself, if that all
son came up, you could go and live in this big mansion by yourself.
Be kind of. It wasn't Wi fi. We got a member back in the day.
You know, you go out there and just be like, this is a bit shit,
innit? No, I'd love it. Bit peace. Yeah. I don't know.
Imagine the library you've got there. Probably got a library full of books. To be
fair, it wouldn't bother me not being around people too much. I'd love it.
Well, Holmes says, look, here's the deal, Christopher Lee,
I'm too busy right now for the next week,
but I'm going to send my colleague, Doctor Watson.
Colleague here is going to come down. Sexy Watson is going to go with you
on the train. It's not a puff daddy party,
but. Something happens before
that. Before something happens, he says to him, something which you hear in
american warehouse in London, he says to him, but when
you get through to Devon, whatever you do,
never ever go out on the moors on your own
at night. And Sir Henry's like, all right,
why would I? Then something happens,
Gav, what happens to. Tarantula on
Christopher Lee's shoulder? Appear to move and then
like, knocks it off and then dramatically hits the floor
with his cane? Yeah,
well, he batters it to death with his cane,
doesn't he? Which I'm sure Sarah won't be happy about.
No, but we didn't. You didn't actually see it? No.
Two things. Two bits of trivia for you.
We don't often do a lot of trivia, but firstly,
in real life, Christopher Lee's only phobia was spiders and
tarantulas. So he was genuinely quite afraid
because for ages they didn't show him with the spider.
You just saw the close up, which is, I'm assuming it probably wasn't him.
But there is one shot where there is a real tarantula on Christopher Lee's shoulder.
And apparently that look of fear on his face is quite real.
Secondly, Peter Cushing hated,
hated the taste of tobacco. So every
time they called cut on a scene where he'd been smoking a pipe, apparently his
assistant had a glass of cold strawberry milkshake ready for
him to take a big sip off.
Get my milkshake ready, I've got to do a scene with tobacco pipes
ready waiting for him. Fair enough. I mean, if you're Peter Cushion,
you're gonna be drinking strawberry milk aches all the time, aren't you? I would.
So there we go. So, yes, they think that this tarantula
was potentially a assassination attempt or
the curse at work. The curse of the baskerville
is at work. So Watson goes down there and on the way
down, actually told about another
we get into play here in the story, another thing which could be
like a whole thing which could be dangerous. A prisoner has escaped
from prison. Yeah. So Doctor Mortimer,
Sir Henry and Doctor Watson are in a carriage and this is where quite a
rude, he's like a cabbie, the guy that
taking them, and he's quite rude, he sort of says, well you be careful,
you get your bloody throat slit in a minute. Like getting out of a cab
in London and the guy going, oh, you're in a bad neighborhood, you're going to
get your throat cut in a minute. Because they're like, what do you mean?
Last year I actually walked all around, did a ghost watch around Dartmoor
prison in the dark. It's great.
Well, did you get your throat cut by a ghost?
No, thank God. So yeah, this cabbie
says to them, a murderer is on the loose. Watch out,
you might end up getting your throat cut. And Doctor Mortimer's like, you know what,
I give zero fucks. See you later. And he goes off on foot, on his
own. He just goes off on his own. He doesn't care.
The Watson character in all the Sherlock Holmes films,
especially the ones that I like, I can't remember
the guy's name, it plays Watson,
he's really bumbling and,
and just mucks things up and sort of trips over things.
Sorry, it's just, it's always that Watson's always kind
of that character quite like. I love him in the
one with Benedict, Cumberland Cumberbatch, when it's Martin Freeman
playing him because he's like, the reason he's got his limp is because he
was in like Afghanistan. And you know,
he's actually, there's a scene in one of them where someone tries to attack Doctor
Watson, Martin Freeman, and he does like some badass
martial arts, just brief, like military martial arts
on someone. And you're like, yeah, because Doctor Watson is like a badass,
you know. Yeah, I did like that show. Yeah, me too. We really enjoyed
that. Some of it was filmed just down the road for me
too, when I was five, the very first episode,
but there we go. So Henry
is shown around his mansion, his new manor, by Mister
Barrymore, the butler. Mister Barrymore.
Okay, so here you go, this is all the bits you need to see.
These are all the portraits. One of them is missing that will come back into
the plot in just a minute. And this is all the bits and bobs of
blah, blah, blah. Now while this is all going on, poor old Watson sort
of sat there drinking wine and sherry and doctor
Sir Henry says, I do apologize, Doctor Watson, this is probably quite
boring for you, just me hearing the family history being shown around my massive
mansion. And Doctor Watson's like, it's brilliant. I've got loads of cheese to eat,
loads of wine string. I'm just sat here having a great time. You guys crack
on, it's brilliant. And Barrymore says to them,
oh, he then says, I do hear there's a family curse.
Is that just a legend or is it real? And then Mister Barrymore's
wife, smash. He drops some glasses
and gets all nervous and runs off. Oh, my wife's all over the
place at the moment. Oh gav, that could be a clue.
Yeah. So Barrymore says, look, this is, you know, we'll tell you about the body.
We find the body out of the moors and he had a look on his
face of absolute terror, terror and horror. But I'll tell
you something, I'll never forget the howl, the terrible howl
of that creature that I heard that night. So he's sort of really sticking
the story into them there and they're like, interesting, very interesting.
Then we cut to very hammer scene. Now, middle of the night,
Doctor Watson wakes up in his pajamas. He is crying, doesn't he?
Here's a woman sobbing, doesn't he?
Anything's bloody, by Jove.
So he goes out, I love this, he steps out of his room and as
he gets a couple of feet away from his room, he just stops and he
thinks, fuck it, I'll go back to my bed. Then goes back to
his bedroom. What does he hear out the window, Kev?
Another howl. And this time he sees
a tiny, tiny little light flickering on the moors in
the distance. And he thinks, by Jove,
says, by Jove. So there we go. The morning
arrives and we get a very drunk bishop arrived,
vicar turns up. And everybody in the town knows
that this is a drunk vicar that likes a drink.
Soon as he turns up, you're like, give him a drink. He likes to drink.
Yeah, he rocks up at the manor and Sir Henry stood there
like trying to say hello to him, but he's too busy trying to collect a
butterfly in his hat. He's like, oh wow, that's a very good
example of lesser spotted red wing.
And he's like, oh, sorry, I was trying to collect my butterfly.
So he's an entomologist, he's into bugs,
but he's also really into sherry as well, isn't he? So Henry
says, come on in. You know, you probably knew my uncle. I've inherited
this place. Have a glass of sherry with me. And he's like, yeah.
Oh, I love the sherry, that your uncle always had the
best sherry in Devon. And he's just necking this sherry,
then he says, may he rest in peace.
And then Watson comes over and says, hello, I'm Doctor
Watson, I'm here sort of looking into the case.
And he says, well, the reason I'm here is this
is hilarious, this scene. He says, the reason I'm here. Why did I come here?
Oh, yeah, that's why. A jumble sale.
And Sir Henry, who's so posh and from
been living in South Africa for loads of years, goes, a jumble cell.
What on earth's that? Which listeners, if you don't
know, if you're out of America? I last week went to the
village jumble sale. Can you explain to our listeners
who don't know what jumble sale is? Gav, please.
It's generally inside, but the one in
my village they have outside, it rained on, so they had it on tables.
Basically it's loads of shit that people don't want and they're selling it,
so. But you give it and it goes to. All the money goes towards a
fund generally. Most of it's like a garage sale
or a swap meet. Yeah, this is like the local scout group.
Everybody just sets up a table and just sells their shit in one
church. All the one I went to like scout group, so it's. I like
all the money goes to the scout. So they've got the whole stuff. So over
the year people just take stuff to them. So I picked up. I've got a
Chuck Norris dvd for 25 p.
You know it's right. But yeah, it's called a jumble sale because it is
just a jumble of things, really. It's a very british thing.
But like I say, sir Henry. So Henry has no
idea what a jumble sale is. And he says, well, basically, and this is what
the pissed priest says to him, he says, basically, any old
cast offs you've got, perhaps you could donate some of your old silver.
You're not using silver.
Donate your old silver. But of course, Henry's like, yeah,
okay, sure, why not? It's not really
mine, I've just inherited it. What's he doing? And go like,
don't like that. Get rid of that. Do you want these silver candlesticks?
Take them there. Shit. But imagine going to the jumble sale and you're looking through,
rummaging through some dvd's and you find a load of Christopher Lee Silver. And they
are brilliant. What happens? People do throw out stuff.
They don't realize Watson's had enough at this point. He says,
oh, I'm going for a walk. Fuck you, he says, I'm going to the post
office. This is. I've got a. He says, I've got an affair. Some affairs to
take care of at the post office. All right, see you later,
mate. All right. And the bishop
carries on chatting. The last thing he says in the scene is,
now that you've inherited this beautiful manor, you'll be
one of the chief judges at the beautiful mother and baby
contest this summer. It's all a bit weird and
drunk and cd. The vicar, though, Sarah, called him a peahead
because he didn't actually have a neck. It didn't go along here.
It went there to there. Yeah. So you see
that listeners can't see this, so it went from chin down to sort
of bottom of throat. Adam's apple. But there was no, like, l shape,
if that makes sense, where your face comes out. It was just like
a whole head shape. It's like, what? But the funny thing is,
I've called him a peer, but I've written piss head, so you could say he's
a piss head as well. It looked like a pea for a head.
Well, Watson starts exploring the moors
and the countryside, explore the moors and the countryside. And he
almost steps in a bear trap when a man pops out of nowhere.
His name is Stapleton. And he says, watch out.
What? There's a bloody bear trap down there. We're fucking
living in England. What have you got these things for? And he's like, well,
catch animals, isn't it? He actually says, which I
thought was actually quite ahead of his time. He actually says to him, do you
not having a more humane way of doing
this to the animals, that's just damn right cruelty, that is. And I was,
oh, that's quite ahead of its time, really. It is. Yeah. I don't know if
that was in the original book, but well done for including there if
it wasn't. He says, I'm. I'm the neighbor
of the basketball manor. I'm the nearest neighbor. My name's Stapleton.
And he says, I'll give you. I'll come up and meet Sir Henry at some
point. But for now, before I leave,
you give you one bit of advice. Don't step off the tracks.
Watson's like, fucking out,
lads. So Watson sticks to the path. What does he
see? Gav finds a woman, but she. But busty
girl with no shoes over. It in Dane, sitting on
some rocks and stuff. So he said, hello, good morning. Then she
runs away from. So he chases her. My first question, why does he
chase her? Well, first of all, he says, good morning, and she didn't answer him.
Then he says, I've got myself a little bit turned around. Could you
please direct me the way back to the Baskerville manor? And that's when she just
pegs it away from him. So is he chasing because he's lost and needs to
know where he's going? Because that's not a good idea. But at the same time,
it's like, why are you chasing this lady? It's weird.
I think it's because he's more worried. Well, I think it's because he's
more worried about her. I think so. But it's like, hang on,
she probably knows more way around here than you do,
city boy, you know? Yeah. Because he's like, be careful. I've been
told there's quicksand. Surely she knows.
And then he ends up getting stuck in the fucking swamp.
And he falls in and Stapleton and the girl run over and they put
him out. He says, um, this is Cecile, my daughter.
Stop looking at her boobs. He says he doesn't, but you might as well
say that. And he says, uh, you've got to be careful around here.
And you shouldn't be out here either, is Cecile. Because there's that bloody escaped convict
that we keep mentioning in the plot. That's been really hard for, like, if you
say that play, said I like, there's no one around whatsoever.
So, like, if you are a young sort of person, especially a woman,
like, like the farmer's daughter, do you know what I mean? It is
like, must be really hard to be stranded when you just got, like, a mum
and dad and their relationships done. But you're literally this pre Internet, I'm saying,
completely out of nowhere. Must have been so hard. He always, boy, I suppose as
a male, you probably had more chance to leave because you'd be, I'm gonna join
the army or gonna go somewhere. I'm gonna go traveling. She probably could, but for
woman, it was sort of frowned upon. Stay at home. Stay at home. Must be
really hard for them. Just poor girl.
Poor Cecile. Yeah, but find
out. Actually, they're a bunch of crooks, but. We go, well,
they, they're nice to Watson,
though, because he's obviously very wet and muddy and cold and hurt. So they put
him in the back of their cart and they take the
manor. By Jove, thank you. Now, when they get there, his dad,
her dad, Davidon, takes Watson in the manor. And he says, cecil,
you wait outside. Well, no, they go up to the hall.
So Watson says to him, well, do you want to come and
see Sir Henry now? And he says,
good time as Eddie. And that's where he says, you stay here to this daughter.
And they just stay inside the hall. But then Sir Henry
comes along, and he's just like, hello. Yeah,
well, he's not just hello. He's like, hello again.
Sir Henry's a single bloke all of a sudden. Now he's in
fucking bum tit ass nowhere.
And he's just like, look, he's gav. He's just come over from
Johannesburg. He's inherited a million pound mansion. There's many ladies around,
though. There's a lady here with her boobs. Well, this one is so. Yeah,
so he. Straight away, you know, things are stirring in the downstairs department.
Well, she runs off. So he chases her, going again.
What is up with this woman? And this time, chase me. Chase me.
She gives him a big kiss, which. Is mixed
messages, love. Mixed messages. Run away from me. And now you're kissing
me. Most women run away from me after they've
kissed me. Go. They were just running away from me and not kissing
me. Dan, I'd always kiss you.
So Henry then goes to meet Stapleton, and he's very frosty with
him. And that's kind of the end of that scene.
Nighttime. Next scene. Nighttime. This time,
more sobbing. I actually say nighttime. That's my note.
Nighttime. More sobbing. And this time Henry hears it.
Fantastic shadow effects here.
Now, as Henry is snooping around
and you see his big shadow on the wall of a or door. And then
you see another shadow move behind him. And it's Doctor Watson.
And it's just done so well. Nice little bit of shadows.
Very hammer, very classic. Absolutely love it. They enter
this room that the sobbing is coming from. And they can see that there's a
light on the moor again. And it looks like someone's been
signaling at the house from the moors. Who could it be?
Let's go out to the moors together. They didn't
listen. What was told to them. Watson's like, how many times do
I. Are you like a child? A disobedient child that just keeps doing it.
So they get a Watson's got his pistol, and they run out onto the moors
together in the middle of the night. So proud of me.
They find a candle like a lantern that
was signaling back to the house. So they know there was somebody out there.
And then they. They chase and they hear
a howl again. But then Christopher
Lee, Sir Henry, clutches his chest,
and he sort of falls over a bit. And it's like, my heart.
What does Watson do? Pulls out his hip flask. Ego? Have some of that.
If you're having a heart attack, drink some of my whiskey. That'll help
you out. It's such old school like
ideas, isn't it? Okay, good man. Have some of this.
And he's like, thank you. Thank you. They head back.
How's the whiskey to go, David? If you have an
art attack, have a whiskey. But they do see, like, what? A woman's in labor.
Give her some booze because it slows down your heart rate. And it.
You know, I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe there is. I mean, Doctor Watson.
He's a doctor, like, you know, maybe.
I don't know what he's a doctor of, is. He's like Doctor Dre. I don't
know. And as they head back to
the manor. So the heart problem is through the bloodline.
Basketballs. Is that hereditary thing? It is indeed.
And that's known by somebody, isn't it? Because that's how the
original was killed and that's how they're trying to kill this one. So the
moors are fucking fantastic, by the way. The colors and the fog, they just
look so good. Now, I've got a question for you.
So the final part of this scene, as they head back to the moors,
to the mansion, they see somebody stood on top of the hill,
watching them. Like the outline of silhouette of someone.
Now, when you did the very, very, very first
trailer for the shadow of death all those years back,
did you have this in mind? No.
Because, you know the bit. I mean, where there's someone. Exactly. The bit where
I just panned out really far from John holding the head.
Yeah. That's what it reminded me of. Really far out. No,
I just thought it looked good. Never made it even into the actual film.
That was just a trailer put together. Just. That was
before I even got involved. That's where I shot a different camera as a whole.
That was. Someone gave me a camcorder, and I watched Grindhouse on the same
day. And I was given a camcorder when I can make a horror movie.
And that started deadbolt films.
So they get back. Goes back to the moors
again. Like, how many times, Watson? Every time. First of
all, they put Henry to bed. I. They took him in. You had
a heart attack. Have a good sleep. Drink booze, just sleep it off.
So that's what I do. Elijah thinks sometimes that I'm a mean dad
because if all over cut himself, right, you'll be right.
I can't believe you're saying I'll be all right. You don't get like,
I'm trying to toughen him up, so. But you'll be right about it. Go on
with it, crack on, come on, you'll be fine. And I have to do that
sometimes he thinks I'm a right mean bug, but you
know, you have a heart attack just getting bed, you'd be fine. That's, that's been
a bit meaner. Well, he says, doctor Mortimer, you stay
here and look after him, all right? And he said, well, I've got things to
do, it's the middle of the night. He's like, yeah, but he's had a fucking
heart attack on the moors. Look after him. Yeah, you got
40 grand? He says, he says what?
I'm probably not going to get back to sleep tonight, so I might as well.
What, nothing else to do now. And then doctor, such a twat.
And then doctor Watson says, I'm gonna go back to the moors to see what
was going on out there. At no point does Doctor Watson go,
oh, I've had much sleep, I'm tired, I'm not gonna. No, he's a trooper.
That's right. Yeah, he's been in the army, so. Right, come on, we've got mission.
And we get one of my favorite scenes here with the
lighting, the fog. Yeah, it's fantastic, isn't it?
And this is where we hear, what are you doing out here alone?
And he finds Sherlock Holmes. And he's saying, why have you left him there?
So before he can answer and say, like, you know,
Holmes, what you doing here? Before he could sort of say that, question him,
he has to answer, oh, he's right. Doctor Mormon's there.
It's fine, it's okay. It's like, right, okay. He says, what are you doing
here then? And he says, well, I arrived here 4
hours after you. And he said, so you've been in Devon for a week.
Little tiki bug at home. I didn't see that.
It might be in the extras.
Okay. So he says, when did you arrive? And he said,
4 hours after you said, so you've been endeavored a whole week?
Yeah. He said, I've just been watching from the sidelines, making sure everything's
going right for a week. He said,
I could, I caught an. Interrogated that convict.
Yeah, well, bored, sitting on the
moors. So there was a convict actually escaped. So I actually caught him
and questioned him, like, okay. I find out
all about him. And then they heard bloke,
you know. They hear a howl and they run off and they hear a man
scream. And they find what they think is Sir Henry's
body face down. Movie flies, doesn't it?
It does. It really does. Yeah. Yeah. They find. So they.
So they think, oh, no, he's dead. Christopher Lee's dead. Doctor Watson blames himself.
We can't do anything at the moment. It's too dark. Let's go back to the
manor. This is just appalling. I'm so sorry.
Let me, show me your room, says Holmes. I don't know why. He's very interested
in going to Watson's room. Take me to your room immediately. Watson,
is this a p. Diddy pie? I don't know, but he
says, all right. And on the way there, he says, hang on a minute.
There's a candle in that room. And they go in the room
and they find Christopher Lee not asleep in bed resting after
a heart attack. He pops up and goes, who the bloody hell are you?
Oh, it's you. You two. What are you doing here? Didn't you almost have a
heart attack earlier? Shouldn't you be resting, like, literally 2 hours ago? What are
you doing? He's like, well, I was. I thought I'd come
in here and. You know, no home. Holmes, what says to the butler,
put that candle out. It serves no purpose. And the butler's
a bit hesitant. And he's correct. It does serve
no purpose in the day to day schemes of things.
But we know. Well, later on, we find out in the butler knows there's
a reason why that light's there. But Holmes knows that. Holmes knows exactly
what he knows. He knows what's playing that with the butler put out, no reason.
He wants to know what his reactions could be. This is that statement. This is
that classic Jessica Fletcher Colombo where
they've already worked out within two minutes of arriving.
But for us, the audience, we get to now, let them, let people
trip themselves up and reveal things. You know, I just love,
I love the detectives that do it like that. Like Columbo is my favorite,
because I love the way he knows throughout the whole hour of that hour,
you know, 90 minutes of that program you're watching, but he's just waiting for the
person to give it all away themself, you. Know, I can't wait till I
can unbox my dvd's at my new place and I can get my Columbo set
out again and start cracking on. It's so good.
So they go back in the morning. They said, there's no point in going back
tonight. We won't be able to see anything. You know, it's all very logical.
So they go back in the morning when it's light and they find out that
it was actually the convict that was dressed in Henry's clothing. Where did
he get these clothes from? We don't know. We'll find that out later.
And he says, well, where the hell is doctor? Mortimer asked
him to stay here and look after. He said, oh. We ended up arguing
and he left. And I've written my notes here at
this point, Mortimer. Because Mortimer's a dick, isn't he? Well, at this
point I suspected it was Mortimer. Yeah, I agree.
It does. It does. He is definitely a colorful fish. He's put across
as he is a colorful fish. A little red herring there and a
little blue tuner. But they all decide
to go to bed. They're all poo. And as he walks up the stairs,
Holmes also says, hmm, there's a missing portrait here.
Interesting. He saw, he's building.
He's got everything in his head. It's like a machine. He's putting the case together.
So morning time, they find a bloody
trail along the moors and they find the body. Yeah, this was a bit of
an odd one. Body's been mutilated in a ritualistic.
It's been cut up for a sacrifice, they say, like,
okay, so where does this come from? Well, yeah,
so this is the convict. New horror has come into this thing
all of a sudden. And it's been done with a dagger,
the curved dagger with the Baskerville crest. So this is the curved dagger that was
seen in the opening scenes. But just the fact that there's been a sacrifice.
It's been like, that's a bit like quite darker.
It's all of a sudden throwing that in there like, okay. They said, what human
could have done this? Holmes then questions
the butler Barrymore and his wife. And he tricks them into
admitting their real names because he says, he says,
now then, Mister Barrymore, chat, chat, chat. And then he says,
and how about you, Misses Selden? He doesn't call her misses Barrymore.
He says, miss. And she says, yes, I know,
hang on. What do you call me that. Because they're in front and conversation,
conversation, the conversation is already rolling, questioning going
on. And it just throws it in there. But without any hesitation, it's very
cleverly done. And she has given the game away.
And she reveals the convict that's now dead was
her brother, Selden. And he was wearing the
jumble sale clothes. Yes. So she gave.
She gave him old clothes, which they.
Would have been Sir Henry's oldenhouse clothes, though, because. So how many? Zane just got
there. Yeah, but it must have been. But the priest said to
him, give me your silver and you give me your clothes to me.
So he did. But it couldn't be his clothes, though. So I'm saying, though,
he's only just got there. And they say, oh, then again, it could have been
some of his old clothes turned up, and now he's a millionaire. He might have
just bought a whole new wardrobe. So. Yeah, okay. Um. But,
yeah, so the signal. So this
is what going back to the candle in the room that you mentioned, they were
signaling to him when it was safe for him to come down and get some
food and some clothing, he was signaling back to them, basically.
The prisoner escaped, and it was the. The butler's
wife's brother. And she just felt bad.
It's been like, well, he's escaped from prison. Why is he in
prison? But then again, we don't know the reason. But let's take a
guess that he's probably a naughty person,
obviously put in the wrong for wrong reasons or corruption or something that.
But let's take a guess. He's annoyed person. And you can't really feel sorry for
him, to be honest with you. No, but that
is a great. That that plot line subplot
is a great red herring threaded in there.
And ends now, halfway through the film ends, and we know that
that's nothing to do with the rest of it. That story's now sort of gone,
but. Because. And he's dead as well. She said, he's like, I'm afraid he's dead
out there. You know? And it's quite
sad in a way, I guess, but before the sister's
loss. But I don't care for the prisoner so much,
if that makes sense. But I do care for that. She's, like, trying to look
after him now he's dead, and it feels like he was out on the moors
pretty much almost the same as being in prison. She can't actually see him anymore.
He's in prison, being out in the moors still like a distant and all of
a sudden gone. Now. It wouldn't have been such a shocking
thing for lymph. Seen her brother every day all of a sudden, because he's been
in prison stuff, but he still felt quite sorry for, in a way, with a.
With a lesser director that and
perhaps a more modern film. Yeah, yeah.
But it wouldn't have worked. But this worked so well because everyone's so committed to
their acting and, you know, everything in this.
So Holmes now goes to visit the bishop, who he
knows is an entomologist, because he suspects he might have something
to do with that tarantula that was there back in London. Yeah, he asked him
about spiders and stuff. P head vicar. So he goes
there and he says he's hammered again, staring for a telescope.
Wait, yeah, because he's having problems with his telescope.
Yeah. This is, this. This is just ridiculous, though. I love it.
I love it. He can't see properly, first of all.
Then smashes a window with a telescope. Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
He can't move it because it's a bit stiffen. Holmes looks at it and goes,
hmm, have you got some graphite grease? Gives him this, like,
graphite grease stuff. And he goes, hmm, puts it around it and
then the hinge works like that. Isn't. That isn't great detective work?
I could have done that one. Basically, you need a bit of lube on
your hinge there. And that move fine. And because it
takes me back to. My p 2d times, but basically
because it happens, he goes to move it like he's used to move in it,
where it's all old and stiff, hits it just slightly and smashes a window.
Oh. Oh, this is good now. Yes, you're so clever. He says,
I do wish misses Jones wouldn't keep closing those windows.
That's all he says. He smashed the window with his telescope, but he's too pissed
to care about it. It's not. It's not like some intelligent
crazy thing that she'll. Only Sherlock Holmes could do as well.
Which really frustrated me in a little way because it was literally like, you just
got some grease on your hinge. That's it.
Well, Holmes again, it's not a hinge. Sorry. It's a rotating.
Whatever it's called. Holmes again, tricks him. And it's not hard because
he's quite drunk, into revealing that he had one of his spiders stolen.
And he says, but he was very poisonous spider,
so hopefully it's not roaming around London. And he says,
no, it's not roaming around London because I destroyed it with my staff.
He killed it, he squished it. And he's like,
okay. He's like, well, I'll see you later. And he just sort of leaves.
Leaves the drunk bishop alone. And then
Sir Henry is wandering around and he goes to visit his
neighbour, Stapleton. Knocks on
the door, obviously. So he goes
to see that, basically, he goes to open up, opens the
door. The daughter's there. She opens the door, obviously. He goes in.
We can wait for dad. And then they start kissing.
Well, before that. Okay. She says, come in.
Would you like some cider? He's like,
yes, I would. So they have a little bit of cider.
I was gonna say something else. Does she want something inside her?
I thought you might. Well, he says, my father's
not here. He's gone to invite
you here for dinner, actually, funnily enough.
So when you see him later, she also reveals,
by the way, I'm half Spanish.
It's like, oh, yeah? Yeah. And she says,
and I'm very lonely. Yeah.
She's saying, basically, saying, basically, I don't want to be here if
a woman. Says to you, I'm half spanish and I'm very lonely,
Bob's your uncle. And Lee
wants some. So they kissed. And.
And then the dad turns up. Awkward. Well, just before that,
the dad turns up, just as she says to him, will you meet me
tonight? Yeah, yeah. And then they let rains. And then
the dad's there. So imagine that. Imagine coming home and
then your new neighbor's just coming next door. You come home and he's snogging your.
Daughter, and your daughter's just whispering to him, come in. Come and
meet me. Hello. Well,
he keeps his composure. He says, sit down. Let's have a cider together. Doesn't even
mention it once. He says, let's have a cider together. But we
do know that these guys later on, spoiler, are crooks.
So that's why he doesn't mention it, because it's a part of the plan.
It is. And so happy when he sees that. But it's just
bit really. It's really odd, though, getting your daughter, sell your daughter
out sexually just so you can get your society off, you know?
Now, Holmes has deduced that this tarantula from earlier was
meant to try and induce the heart attack, which it never did because
he killed it before it could scare him. But they do discuss the case a
bit. They meet up with Doctor Mortimer and he seems
very tense. And Holmes is quite accusatory.
He asks him about an old tin mine and he
says to him, you must stay away from the tin mine. And Holmes. Okay,
he's being a bit defensive there. Mortimer he
says, I think you should come with us. Come with us to the tin mine.
And he shows him, he says, I found this,
this curved dagger, automatically, out. Of nowhere, frozen knife into a table.
I found this. All right, Holmes, what's going on?
Jesus Christ, why did you make it so dramatic?
Why didn't you just say, I found this. Rather than possibly
stabbing the poor fella. He says to him, how old do you think is?
He goes, I couldn't possibly say. A couple of hundred years old. He goes on,
how old's the blood on it? I don't know.
The evidence is gone now, probably. He says, well, I found it
at the crime scene. So they head to the mine,
he drags him there, and watson says, our way up here. But this
is the point where we have Holmes's classic deer stalker hat.
He does indeed, yes, his dear stalker. Magnifying glass,
those classic homes. So Watson
doesn't go down in the tin mine, and listeners, if you ever. Go to
Baker street looking for Holmes residence, it doesn't exist.
Oh, by the way, the reason they've gone to the tin mine is because holmes
looked at a map of Devon and realized that
this tin mine could be something to do with the case. It could
be to do like with tunnels and escaping around on the
mortgage. So he wants to see if there is a dog or a wolf or
something. It could be living in there. So he heads to
the tin mine. Watson waits up top. So it's Stapleton, the neighbour,
Doctor Mortimer and Sherlock Holmes, and they
talk about how it's too dangerous down there, but they go anyway.
And Holmes goes off to explore. He finds an Indiana Jones
Minecart. The other two wait further back,
then they hear a howl of. And I think
they push this Minecart, Gav, don't you?
Because this Minecart comes flying at Sherlock Holmes and causes a huge
landslide. Yeah. Oh, no.
We cut to them sort of climbing out, going, well, we've tried for,
for ages, we can't find him down there. If he's down there, he's dead.
There's no way he's alive. No, absolutely not. They turn around
and he sat in. The cart going, smoking a pipe. What taking you
so long? Okay, right, I'd be like this, right?
Holmes, if you've been out in your fine, why didn't you
fucking tell us your dickhead been sitting there trying to hunt?
Fucking pull you out. You're sitting here in a fucking pipe.
Even says, Watson says, how did you get out? And he says, listen, I've hurt
my leg. I'm very cold and I'm very hungry. Why don't you get me back
for ten minutes? It's like, ten minutes. We've still been digging for you,
you dickhead. So they take him back. That's the
only thing in here which Holmes annoyed me. Don't be such a dick.
That's a dick move. Just to prove how fucking clever
you are. He explains. He explains that he found a really
big bone down there, like a big beef bone that you'd feed
a dog. And then he says,
pass me my tobacco, Watson. He said, it's not here. And he said,
don't be ridiculous, man. It's in the top right drawer. It's not here. And he
said, what? Where's the dagger? And the dagger has also been stolen,
so someone's been in his room and stolen the evidence.
Ooh. So Sir Henry tells Sherlock Holmes,
guys, you probably don't want to come, but I've been invited to. You're not
coming. Really? You don't have to come at all. He's invited for a meal next
door to the neighbors on purpose,
turns into cunt and says, well, I don't like your peasant friends and you shouldn't
be going. Yeah, he's really roots,
him. He says, have fun with your peasants. He says,
how dare you? I won't have you speak of a woman like that. Purpose.
He could have just said, mankle hurts. I'm not gonna go faster. Anyway, I'll have
you know I kissed this busty wench twice in the last day.
I'm hoping for some slippery, slippery, sloppy stuff around
my genital area later. Oh, good day
to you. When he runs off. But it's all. It's all done on purpose to
make him leave without them because Watson calls him
out on it and went home. He's just like, look, I'd had to be a
cunt to make him run off. Yeah. So we
cut to Sir Henry and Cecile kissing on the boars.
Watson is, you know,
it's like Batman and Robin. Watson's with Holmes all the time.
Always there. He's always there. Probably lives in the same house,
but in a different room. You know, they share a bed, like Bert and Ernie.
They're always together. And Bill
and Ted. There's many, many months we could put together. They're always together.
Gavin Dan basis? I was going to say us, actually,
but Raj reliving the same house or thing,
but, like, he still doesn't. He still doesn't know when Holmes
is put in a ruse. Like, he's been a cunt on purpose
because Watson's a bit of a diffie when it comes down to it,
but you need Watson because Watson's actually the heavy, which, you know,
think about. But Watson is the one that can actually do some martial arts
and stuff and has a gun. He's the one. So,
like, if he's a doctor. Yeah. Yeah. So an old
school computer game. You could choose your characters and you can have two of you
playing and going along the screen. And that's great because you've got that one because
he's got the gun, but the other one, he's got the real intelligence, like it
would be the magician or the mad, you know,
wizard. So, yeah, amazing. Well, we see
Sir Henry. So Christopher Lee and Busty Cecile are
kissing on the moors. A little shot of that there.
And this is where things are starting to come together now because
Holmes reveals that the missing portrait that we've mentioned a couple of times,
it was actually a portrait of Stapleton the neighbor.
And the reason it was taken down is because it reveals he's got a
webbed hands.
Weird. And that actually Stapleton the neighbor is next
in line. So if he kills Sir Henry, me. And Dan Aykroyd
have the same webbed feet.
Oh, how, what do you, you have them on weekends and he has them on
weekdays.
He's got web toes in the exact same
place where I have rip toes on both feet. And he thinks that science
do if his his one of his things supernatural. I was like,
am I special too? He's a bit mad and he dumb.
Yeah. But if ever I meet him, I'll fucking
pull them, take my shoes and socks off and just going, look, hey.
He'Ll be like.
I don't know. Anyone else has got web feet. Both. Do you think he's actually
received a blowjob from a ghost in real life? No. Maybe. It doesn't
help me swim any fast, I don't think. What, getting a blowjob from a ghost?
No, web feet. All right,
so yes, it's a bit of a weird, convoluted,
but it works. Basically, the portrait was taken down because it
showed that Stapleton's next in line. So the whole thing is that Stapleton and his
daughter hate the Baskervilles and they want
to kill Sir Henry by frightening him to death because they know that they've all
got bad hearts in that side of the family honeymoon.
I suppose it does, yeah. It does frighten you to death.
I know that one of you is a werewolf. I love haunted honeymoon.
I've not seen it since we recovered it. Such a good film.
So, yes, that's why Cecile was seducing him to
his death, essentially. I mean, her dad's probably
said, give him a really good shag, he might drop dead from that.
He's got a bad heart. If that doesn't work, we'll get the hind of the
basketballs onto him. Either way, we're going to kill him.
You get laid and we both get rich. That's a bit horrible thing
to say about your kid. It is, but money's money at the
end of the day. No, it's not. No, it's not.
So Holmes and Watson wait at the ruins on the moor. This is where we
get your favorite green lighting coming in, though.
Holmes and Watson go down into a certain area of a cave and
in the rock formation bit, and there's kind of a doorway and they go into
it and there's a. There's been a purposely lit
green light basically put in there, which is. Looks gorgeous, but means
nothing. No natural lighting would be there whatsoever. Because generally when you
like a scene, even you have a. Your key, which is
your main, and then you got Phil's, which is wherever.
Normally, most time you have a light in a scene,
you kind of go, let's put realism in here. Where could that be
coming from? And trying to do like that? Unless you're Dario Argento
or Terence Fisher doing this shot here. And you just
like. There's just green light in here. Terrence said he
wants green. What? Look what Terry wants. Something he
gets. All right, but go and get the green bulbs. The thing is,
though, I don't care. It doesn't make me go,
well, I'm not watching this film again. Because that light isn't natural.
No, because you know what you're getting with a hammer film, don't you? You know
you're gonna get. And I. But it still wouldn't put me off,
even if it was slightly off. Like tomorrow. Tomorrow night,
I can't say the finale of the film, but there's gonna be, you know,
cuz you. There's messages. We're gonna have a big thing like this. And it could
be lit behind it on doing hand signals to Dan. And there's no reason why
that would be. There's literally no reason. I've said to them,
can it be red? And there's no reason. In the woods you gave a big
fucking structure of a red light. But it's a style choice. I'm doing
it because why the fuck not? So, yeah,
well, in this basking, in this green light, Holmes and
Watson wait at the ruins and Cecile and Sir Henry Shelley
up and kiss a bit more. She then reveals her plan to him.
And she was the girl at the beginning of the film who
ran away, who was trying. They almost raped her. And she
actually is a Baskerville two. Her mother was related to them.
She slaps Lee and says, you're not the first Baskerville
who wanted it. Yeah.
Oh, great. I'll get sloppy seconds from my relatives,
am I? We get another howl of,
oh, the. Appearance of the hound.
And it's so well done still. It looks terrifying.
It's a big dog with a really weird face. It's got
a big mask on it. Yeah. And it attacks Sir Henry.
Yeah. Apparently the dog was quite vicious that
they used. And there was a boy, a little
boy on set watching them do this.
And they said, don't worry, you know, we've got the dog really well trained.
And the dog really went for Christopher Lee.
And at the last minute, it turned and its owner
saw the dog turn and look at the boy, and he knew the look in
his dog's eyes. And they. He grabbed the dog and
stopped it. And they said, why is that boy on set? Because it was dark
as well. Shouldn't have been there. Yeah, it looks like fucking the dog. Was like,
I'm gonna eat that, boyden. Yeah, but, yes.
So imagine if that happened. You're not even have this movie.
Jesus Christ. Well, Watson shoots
Stapleton dead, and Holmes
shoots the dog. Cecil runs off.
This is really crafted, well done. The editing is
fantastic. And that actually, because I've even got here, it's edited
really well and looks good. That goes back to then,
Terrence Fisher being an editor. It does, because normally.
But at this point in a film, it gets a bit muddy, doesn't it?
And we're sort of zooming through it. But this is actually done very well.
Especially here, though. Geography could easily go out of place. You can get confused because
it's all grey, rocks with some fog. Someone shooting a dog. Somebody else
is shooting a man.
It plays fine. Yeah, it works very nicely. Cecil runs
off. They said, don't worry about her. I find her later.
Look, let me show you the hound, Sir Henry. And he's like, I don't think
I want to see it then. I think you do. And he takes the mask
off. What he said is that it's actually a dog that had been kept in
the tiny. Sad, really, because it's not dog's fault.
It's been starved there. And basically they let it out at night to scare
Sir Henry with a mask on. And they gave him the missing boot
from London ascent. Yes. So it would try and track him
down. They find Cecile stuck
in the swamp. You dick it and she dies.
Yep. And. Amazing last
line from, from Sherlock Holmes. He says the curse has
claimed its last victim.
Yeah. And then, well, the end is
Holmes and Watson back in their house and they get a parcel
from, from Christopher Lee. They're like, what has he sent
you? He sent us the missing portrait of the webbed hand
as a thank you along with a check for,
you know, my time. And then he says the last word of this film.
Muffin. That's the last word Watson
says, muffin.
I did not expect the last word of this hammer horror film to be muffin,
but it is and that's it. And what a fantastic,
classy, brilliant Sherlock Holmes
hammer horror, british whodunit, a couple
of great red herrings. Very stylistic.
As british as they come. Did you like it? I loved it. Oh, yeah.
I chose it, so. Yeah, you did. I've only got a
few hammer movies on Blu ray. Got plague of zombies,
Dracula, Prince of Darkness. And I've got this because they're quite hard
to. They're quite a little expensive and quite hard. I wish I came up but
like sort it out and do like, just like, I've got the dvd box
set, but I wish they'd do like a Blu ray special thing.
I don't know why they haven't done it. They would make a fucking killing.
I've got to stand it. I've got a little dvd box
that's got like six in it. There's that one and then there's the.
Obviously the big square one which you can open up. Yeah, I haven't got that
one. Yeah, because I remember, like, I spoke about this before we did the
hammer thing. HMV one. I went in HMV one time and they had
a crate of these hammer ones there, all for 20
pound or 15. God. And there's a crate and
they were just like trying to. Because they were going for like 70 when they
first came out. And I went in there and it's like 19.99. I was like,
take my money. Take my money, man. Yeah.
Because, um, I've got the gorgon, I've got plague of zombies.
But, yeah, like you said, but blu. Ray, it's really hard
and they're quite expensive, the Blu rays. And to buy them separately I
wish they just do like a collection, much. Like arrow or somebody.
Somebody like that could come along. I don't understand
why it's not done. So if I ever get a chance to speak to someone
from hammer, I will bring it up. Get your shit
together. But listen, if you've not seen this and or you're
a fan of Sherlock Holmes or hammer or all of the above, you're going to
really love this. If you've seen it, go put it
on. You know, put a blanket of yourself. Yeah. Sunday afternoon viewing,
fucking perfect. It's getting colder. It's perfect time to watch
it. It's wonderful, wonderful stuff. Well, talking of wonderful
stuff, look who's just walked in the room.
Billy Murray. Oh, here he is. He heard us
talking about Dan Aykroyd's web's feet and he's got all excited.
He's got his glass of sherry just like the drunken bishop. Yep.
And he's saying he wants to be very british. What does that mean, though?
I don't know. No, no, we're not going dogging, Bill. That isn't
a british pastime. Look, just take us into
world of the strange for good sake.
Hi, welcome back to the world of a strange world.
By jove, it's the word of the strange. What's it word
of the strange. Thank you, Billy. Billy Murray. Stories about Hammersh.
No, it's hammers about stories.
What? No, I've got something very british
to talk about. But before I get into
that, I've got two real life stories that came to me in the
last week. One of them is about this very house I'm
in. I might spook myself out telling you this. Oh, that's great.
Now, my son Jack is currently potty
training and he is having a bit of an anxious time.
Blessing he's not sleeping great.
And yeah, we were in the living room on
the weekend, just me and him, because my wife took my daughter out.
So do some one to one time, get that potty training.
Good to do that. And me and him had a really good
weekend. We watched some great films together and played some great
games and it's so. Lovely films you're watching now.
Princess Bride, labyrinth, the same sort of stuff, really.
But he, you know, he's got the attention span now to sit and watch them
with me and he asks for them. But anyway, we were in our living room
and he looked at that door and went, oh, who's that? I went,
what? And he said, someone peeped around the door at me, daddy. Oh,
God, I said, what? No. And he went, I think it's
mummy. I can hear someone out there. I said, there's no one home, Jack.
Mummy's not home. And he ran into the dining room going, hello,
Mummy, Daddy. Who was it peeping at? Me.
And I said, there's no one peeping at you, Jack. And I was thinking,
okay, this is getting a bit creepy now. And then later on, we were in
the dining room and my daughter was home at this point, so it's me and
both my children. And he said,
oh, that monster's back. And I said, what? And he
went, I just seen him in the kitchen this time, peeping at me around the
corner. And I went, right, you're gonna have to show me because I freaked
out, but obviously need to be a brave dad and say,
look, I've got to show you. There's nothing in the kitchen you can't say again.
Oh, don't, I'm scared. So I went in the kitchen. I said, where is
it? He said, it went back under the sink, under the, covered under the sink.
So I opened the cupboards and said, look, it's just saucepans under it. There's nothing.
He went, oh, I did see it. I don't know where it's gone, though.
And then later on, Alice said to him, what did it look like? And he
said, I had a gray face like a zombie or something.
And she said, what did it want? He said it wanted to come in and
get me. Well, maybe that's his imagination.
It might be, but either way, that's. What you got
to do. Set up camera. I don't want to.
Very quickly I went into, I don't know if I told you this. I was,
it's really funny, I might have said this, I don't remember. I was
with Sarah and went into like a charity shop in her town and
ended up just bought, buying a couple of horror movies. And then the cashiers started
chatting to me and it was the manager and she, she started saying about,
downstairs is haunted. And I was like, oh, what, the basement? Yeah.
And afterwards she's like, do you want to come look? Yeah.
So she took us down to the basement and she's like,
no, it's pretty hard down there. Shit moves, stuff always going on. And I
was like, really? I was like, I've got a camera back at Sarah. I could
bring it back in now and leave it here. Can I do it? So,
no, no, no. And she wouldn't let me. I was like,
please just leave a. Camera for like an hour. Go shopping,
come back and just take it, please. But no.
If you can do that overnight. Yeah. I actually said
to her, I'd happily stay overnight if you want, or even. Just leave the camera.
But they can't do it because she's just mad. She can't just let a random
person stay in the basement. What she could tell the head office, well,
he's looking for. He's a ghostbuster. He's a ghost hunter.
Well, the other thing that came to my attention, which is another real life story,
a lady that I work with, good friend of mine, I've worked with her for
over ten years, Emma. Shout out to you,
Emma. She's got a friend
whose daughter has
a doll, and this
doll has been with. I think
the daughter must be about five, six. She's had this doll
for about two or three years. And they take
this doll everywhere. This daughter she takes when
they go on holiday, she takes the doll, and she brings a little suitcase with
clothes in it for the doll.
And I've been sent pictures of this girl, you know,
with the doll, just pictures that are on social media. And she
takes. She thinks it's her real sister,
to the point that my friend Emma's daughter's
been invited to a party for,
a birthday party for the doll that
she's saying to her daughter, you're not going to that party. And then there
was an argument the other day between the children because her
daughter said, it's not your sister. It's a piece of plastic.
Even as a five year old, she was like, it's a piece of plastic.
And this girl's like, it's my real sister. And the doll
is really creepy, and I think there's something
supernatural and sinister about it. And it turns out that the same
time she got given the doll was around the same time her grandma died.
Okay, so it's like.
That'S right, the grand soul's gone into the doll. Soul in
the doll. Gotta pay the toll
to get into this boy's soul.
I forgot. Actually, it made me think about. Actually, I did get to watch another
movie. I know we're not doing the intro very, very quickly. I went to cinema,
Sarah, and we watched the
new movie with that british guy.
Hmm. He's in a house in the country in Cornwall
and writes some people down. To them, do you mean?
Yeah, it's a remake from, like, just two years ago or something. The scottish
guy, James McAvoy. That's it. There we go.
That's pretty good. Pretty decent. Just, I've heard it's very good. Yeah, it's not bad.
He's decent. He's a good actor. James McBoy is a huge horror fan
and is frustrated beyond belief that horror never gets
any recognition. Is he? Yeah, he's really the
interview for speak new evil. He was doing some public publicity stuff and he
was like, I never understand why a genre that can
talk about so many layers and politics and social
and this, that and the other doesn't get enough recognition. Yeah. And can also be
funny. And this, that and the other. Why doesn't it get the recognition? Yeah.
Same reason oscars, they're just like, nah, it's whatever. Because he's been in,
like, all the Shyamalan stuff, you know, he's done quite a lot.
Give him a ring if he wants. To do some horror change.
Come do some found footage. Me in the woods. He'd be
like, all right, can I be Professor X again? Yes.
Anyway, listen, the main bit, for word of the strange,
we're being british. We're doing hammer, we're doing Terrence Fisher stuff.
So let's talk about. And these might not be
weird to me and you, because we are british, Gav, but to anyone outside
of Britain, these are some very strange british
customs. Oh, because they won't be strange to us at all.
It might be the odd one, possibly. Yeah.
But when I go through these, imagine I being a
foreigner. Yeah. And wondering, what the hell are they doing?
So let's start with dancing around the maypole. Oh,
yeah. I love it. It's just wicked. It's wicker man all
over. I love going to summer fete. And they're
doing maypole dancing. Yeah. So it's very english.
So to the untrained eye, it might look like just a bunch of
school children. Yeah. Explain what?
In different directions? But they've all got a ribbon each. And the ribbon that
they're tied to a big pole in the middle. Yeah. And they all round and
they weave. In and out each other to make, like, a pattern of the pole.
And it's all very sort of pagan and oldie.
Englishy. Yeah. And it's still got,
like. It's so still because it's
such an old school thing. But it's so common, really, in England that
everybody knows about it. And if you went down to a village fate,
you wouldn't batter an eyelid if you saw it. You'd be like, oh,
nice. You wouldn't think that's weird. You'd be like, oh,
yes, maple. So it's been done since the medieval
times to celebrate May Day. And, like, honestly, you don't
think it's. A weird thing if you. The original tradition
was that the prettiest girl in the village was. Was the May
queen. Gav, you're the May queen. I turned pretty.
And all the other bright young things of
the village put on their best sacks. So all the other children wear
sacks apart from the May queen. And they.
They do dances and jigs and they blow different instruments. Accordions, pipes.
Someone plays a fiddle, they wind their ribbons round and round
and round and round. A very big phallic pole, basically. And so they all end
up kissing each other. So it's a very strange tradition.
When they're all tied up, they all kiss each other, then they lie to a
big funeral sort of pyre,
and then they pretend to sacrifice the May queen
to the pagan God.
Apparently. The rumor is they thought back in the medieval days, they actually did
sacrifice the virgin, but they don't really
have that confirmed. But, yeah. Very strange tradition
that we still do in villages regularly.
Yeah, yeah. Ready to stuff.
Next time I'm out and I see it. We're coming up to
the winter now, so we went so much. Now, next time I say it,
I'll take a photo or film it a little bit and put on the.
I mean, we went to a village fate here,
and I saw it this year. And last time I was a village fate in
your village, we watched it as well. So I've definitely
used to do it at school. We used to do it, you know, I quite
enjoyed it. The next.
Next one is called Jack in the green. Heard of this one?
No. So basically,
it's like watching loads
of Hedges walk down the road. Yeah.
And again, takes place in a Maybank holiday. I would.
I would go, what the fuck is that? It's to do with Morris
dancing as well. But that is another activity which we'll talk about in a moment.
But basically you've got these green faced bogeys,
as they're called, but they're actually like these big people dressed as bushes,
and they all sort of walk around and
pretend to get killed on people's roofs of their buildings.
And it's just a very weird May day.
No, I've never heard of this or seen it, to be honest with you.
They don't do it in very many villages anymore, but it's called Jack in
the green and it really only happens in a couple of villages in Sussex
these days. It reminds me of a canary wolf
in San Francisco. There's a guy down there, Bushman.
And he was just literally have a bush.
Total bush. Like, you'd think it's a bush. Then he'd go like that. And then
he'd try and get money out of it. You. If you jump.
Brilliant. Yeah. Give me some money.
Yeah. There we go. Well, here we go, gav. Let's say you're a foreigner.
Hey, my american friend, would you like to come and watch the
cheese rolling? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So, cheese rolling tradition. It's attracted
around up to 15,000 people travel to Gloucestershire,
which is quite near me. It's such a weird thing.
And basically you roll your.
You've got a big wheel of cheese and you roll it down
the steepest hill in Gloucestershire. It's so steep, it's almost vertical.
It's crazy. People who are using an excuse for getting a massive lump
of cheese, which they'd never even eat. An excuse for them just to be
crazy. What do they do? Dan? The cheese can gather speeds
of 70 miles an hour because this hill, so steep. You gotta
think, a massive fucking bit of cheese rolling down
a hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rolling down a hill. The winner
who gets to it is the. Is the winner of the
cheese. You have to chase it. But everybody. But you have
to roll. Every year there's broken legs,
broken bones. It's insane. Watch on YouTube.
You've got to be shirtless as well. So only men generally take part
in it, although they probably change the rules in some way. I think. Last I've
seen it, I haven't seen shirtless. I've seen just all sorts doing it.
Yeah. But, yeah, if you. If you manage
to get to the bottom, then you win the cheese, which. You'D never be able
to eat all that cheese anyway. And it's just insane. Watch it. It looks
like loads of test patient dummies.
No one's ever died down a hill. No one's ever died. But there
have been multiple concussions, broken bones, legs, arms, etcetera,
because that hill is incredibly steep. And when
you're. You know, when you're running downhill that steep,
you cannot stop. And once you start tripping and falling.
Bouncing and rolling all over. Yeah. Watch on YouTube, people. It's weird. So that's
cheese rolling, baby. Cheese rolling is
the next one. Tar barrels. Tar barrel racing. I don't
know. Okay, so this takes place in Devon,
and it takes place on Guy Fawkes night, which is. Remember.
Remember the 5 November.
So flaming tar barrels. This already sounds
dangerous, doesn't it, in Devon. So 17 massive
old wood and iron barrels are filled up with tar and set
on fire and then carried, usually at great
speed, on the shoulders of the biggest, strongest men in the village
on fire mine gang. I've never heard of this also. And they have
to carry them around the town. And about 10,000 years turn up.
People turn up every year to watch this.
And you want to try and get as close as you can to the barrel.
Apparently, that's what you're trying to do. But don't get
the tar on you, because apparently, if the tar gets on you when it's burning,
it's going to take your flesh off. There's not really
a set route, there's not really a race, there's not really a winner.
No one really understands what they do. They just have 17
very strong men running around the village with boiling
tar in barrels on their backs. Seems really stupid.
Thankfully, it's just one village that does it now.
That's the reason it's stupid. Well, if you think that's
stupid, let's move on to the next activity.
Wife. Wife carrying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah came down. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
Sarah came down to the village fate. I had, I'm moving out
of this village in a couple of weeks. But Sarah came down,
we had the village. It happened to be she came down on David village fate,
and we went down there and had a program of all the stuff for the
day. And one of them was carry a wife race.
So you put your wife on your back and you race
against other men easily. That's what you
do. Sarah said to me, and I was like, no, we're not doing that.
It started with the viking invasion of 793
AD. So basically, you're being a Viking stealing
a woman. Yes. Because when
they used to rape and pillage, that's what they would do. They would jokingly
get drunk and then pick up a woman and race each other with a woman
that they were going to take off to do whatever with. But it evolved and
evolved and evolved over the years to now it's just like you only do it
with your wife. But the pictures, if you. If you
google it, there's so many different ways to hold your wife.
There's one picture of a guy and he's not holding his wife, like a reverse
69. So her face is
in his butt, she's upside down, her face is in his butt, and he's holding
her thighs and he's running so fast with her.
I'd hate that. If you fall, your head's hitting the floor if you're the lady.
But yeah, I'm glad you've heard of that one. I'm glad you've witnessed it.
Yeah, I've seen it, yeah. And most of my local folks
I ever go to always have wife. I was about to say wife swapping wife.
Run it racing. Your wife must weigh at least 50 kg
is the rules. And you must know where. A helmet.
And you must complete all the obstacles.
You must complete all the obstacles. There's no obstacles, just a race.
And you get 100 pounds if you win. This is in some
villages, not the standard rules.
In Finland, you get a pound of sausage if you win.
It'd be worth it for the pound of sausage. But the man who completes the
course with the heaviest wife, he gets a prize
as well. So even if he's like the last one,
if his wife's the heaviest, he's like, where's my prize? Well done. Your wife's the
fattest, Mick. Well done. And the losers in
Finland, the losers receive a tin of dog food that they must eat
in front of everyone. That's weird.
Yeah. There we go. Not just England then, for those.
Oh, yeah. That one extends out, doesn't it? Morris dancing. Let's get
it done. Let's talk about Morris. Danson and the maple
are just hand in hand. If you see that,
you're going to see the other. Yeah. And the history
of Morris dancing, the history of it is
very confusing and not fully known historically.
They think it comes from Spain,
but it's moved very strongly to the UK, to Britain
in the 15th century. They're not fully sure,
but it's usually men that take part. Sometimes women.
They dress in white trousers, braces or breeches tops
with red braces on and they have bells all
over them and they do very strange hopping and they have
swords, handkerchiefs and sticks which they bang and clutter together.
There is some tradition, but it's a bit like being in a secret society.
You only really get to learn the dance moves once you're like,
so far into it. I've never known a Morris
dancer. Have you ever known a Morris dancer? Well, I've not known one.
I've seen them many times, but I don't think who's
gonna say to me when in conversation, oh, by the way, I'm a Morris dancer.
Oh. So I don't know. They might do on
the side. It's not really very often, I should guess.
We can start at Mars dancers. Oliver Cromwell actually
banned it for a while. Back in the. Back in the day?
I don't know. And in Wales,
they've stopped doing this now. But in Wales, when they do their Morris dancers,
they put blackface on. But they don't
do that anymore. You'll be pleased to know.
Okay. And then
again, to us, this is very normal, but let's.
Let's talk about pancake flipping.
Yeah. I mean, it's normal for us. Shrove Tuesday, pancake day.
Let's get some pancakes and we flip them. Very normal.
I grew up as kids doing that. What's, what's, what's pancake day? What does it
do with Jesus? What was it? So, um, Shrove Tuesday.
Yeah. Religious roots. Um,
historic pancakes. So they were historically served up because
it was a way to use up what was left in your cupboards before
you fasted for Lent. So traditionally,
you'd, like, use up all the crap that's in your cupboards and make pancakes because
you weren't going to be eating for a few days, you know, because of lent.
Reminds me of a friend who had no money one time. He was really hungry.
He looked in his cupboards and all he had was some corn flakes and some
pastry. So he made a corn flake. Cornish paste pasty.
That sounds awful. That's so dry.
Was there anything in there that was wet? I don't think that was it a
cornflakes. It's just like, what are you doing? I'm making a cornflake pasty, because I've
got nothing else. Like, that's so dry. That's so
dry. That's a bad state of affairs if you've got nothing in the cupboard to
eat and you're hungry and that's it. I mean, I was like that once.
My dad used to be a milkman. This is a very british tale.
And milkman didn't just deliver milk, they would deliver biscuits
and dairy, other dairy products. But my dad said,
oh, john, you love broken biscuits, don't you? Because in the
UK we get a big box of broken biscuits,
basically. Even though the briskets are all fucked up, they still
sell them in a box called broken biscuits. It's like halves of this.
You never know what you're going to get. There's loads of broken biscuits crumbly together.
My dad gave me a kilogram of broken biscuits for,
like, you know. And I had at that point, and my
parents didn't know this, I was so poor, I didn't have any food.
So for about two weeks, I lived off this
kilogram of broken biscuits. Wow. I was eating.
I would pick out like five or six bits for my breakfast.
Then I do the same for my. I take them to work and
eat them secretly, so no one knew. On my lunch break. Why didn't
you have any money for biscuits? I had no money for a good month
or so. I was really poor and I was living off
these broken biscuits. My housemate, after about two weeks, my housemate
realized what was going on. She was like, are you all right? Have you
just been eating these biscuits for the last couple of weeks? I was like,
yeah, yeah. I'm sick of
fucking chocolate biscuits. Fucking. Oh,
but it wasn't a cornflake. Cornish pasty. That's awful.
Anyway, so, yeah, pancake flipping. So we
flip pancakes because it's to do with Lent and Shrove Tuesday,
but it's just really in the UK that we do that.
It's a very strange thing because obviously. Pancakes go like IHOP
in America. Yeah. So, you know,
just a very strange thing.
And the last one on the list is the Whittlesea
Straw Bear Festival.
Not the wicker man, the straw bear.
Okay. In Whittlesea, which is in Cambridgeshire.
So the tight is. Sarah's told me about it before she heard about it.
Pretty sure. Well, she's in Cambridge. Well,
Cambridge here. Yeah. So the town Straw Bear
festival, which is held in January of every year,
somebody gets in a five stone metal and straw
costume and then walks through the town
streets accompanied by loads of dancers,
Morris dancers and a few other people dressed up.
Basically a folk horror movie. It's a 200 year old tradition.
It was banned in 1909 because it's associating with begging,
which is weird. And then came back in 1980.
It came back weird.
And in 1999, the Germans loved
it so much that they've started doing it in some of their towns and incorporating
lots of bavarian beer in the mix as well.
They don't set the bear on fire, though, sadly, at the end.
Oh, yeah, it's not Midsummer. No, the wicker
man. But there we go. There are some
very strange. If you didn't. If you
weren't from Britain, you know, if we said, you know, if I had some
american friends come around or someone from, I don't know, Russia, and I said,
oh, it's. I can't tonight. It's pancakes. And they'd say,
sorry. Oh, I'm flipping pancakes tonight.
What does that mean? What are you talking about? What do you
do this weekend? I did some Morris dancing. Excuse me. What is
that? Trying to explain it to people,
but every country's got there. I wear white. And I put a
load of bells on my knees. Crank, clang,
clang. And I hit my stick with another man. And he hits his stick against
mine. It's weird, isn't it?
It doesn't even look like they're doing it in times or anything.
Anyway, Bill, do you wanna flip
your pancakes and get us out of here? Bang your stick, Bill. Bang your stick.
That's all the time we've got for. This week on world is strange.
Next week though, give me Ira. Hairless pets.
Weird.
The curse of the werewolf that was.
Laid on a baby who grew into a man possessed
by a monster.
To this spanish town. The night brought drinking and dancing,
music and girls. And the moon,
the full moon that. Turned an innocent man into
a savage beast. The curse of the werewolf,
a man. Possessed by a desperate need for love. Who found
in Christina all the passionate sincerity of youth.
Christina, do you love me?
Will you marry me? Christina, you say you love me. Will you marry me?
Yes, if I will.
Help me. Get away. Get away. Help.
Get away.
The curse of the werewolf from
1961.
That was Oliver Reed running out of booze.
This one itself is only 1 hour and 33 minutes.
Nice. Short and snappy, these little ones. In 18th century
Spain, an adopted boy becomes
a werewolf and terrorizes the inhabitants of his town.
Short and sweet. Now this
is the only
hammer werewolf film. But also, do you know why this
is so significant Gav, in the world of horror?
No, I was gonna say only a movie. Oliver is done horror movie.
It's not cuz he's done others. No, it's not. It is the
only. The first color werewolf movie.
Oh, splendid. So it's first time we'd seen a Wolfmande
in color. And it's
quite terrifying because Oliver Reed is quite a big bulky guy.
And we can talk about Oliver Reed in a moment and how strange he is
behind the camera. Was. Sorry. Loved his booze,
loved his ladies a little bit too much. Well, we're talking about the
day died. What happened the day he died?
You keep going and awkwardly just. Oh God,
I. Oh God. Because he died making gladiator,
didn't he? Yeah. And they had to CGI's face onto a body
double to finish off that movie.
But yes, the interesting thing about this film as well is
it doesn't feel as hammer as
some of the others. And the reason for that is it is in Spain.
And that's because Hammer had the opportunity to
use some sets that had been built for a spanish
movie about the Inquisition. But the
movie was abandoned. And these sets were going to just
get torn down and be a waste. So Hammer said, well, we'll use these and
we'll. We'll do something with them. And they have this werewolf movie
that they just turned into a spanish werewolf movie
for no reason. Okay. So, yeah, they managed
to get hold of these sets and do something with them, and they've obviously got
Oliver Reed involved as well. And it wasn't as big
back then. And it's, again, another classy
affair. You know, we got some different. We got royalty,
we got priests, we got busty wenches again,
and Oliver Reed thrown in the mix. And what's interesting
again is Oliver Reed doesn't even show up till about 45
minutes into this. So it's quite
a lot of backstory on the werewolf boy. And it's an interesting
curse, because it's not your typical werewolf curse.
He's not bitten by a wolf. It's because he
was born on Christmas day. Weirdly, he's cursed.
And he's got the old hairy palms,
Gavin. The old hairy, hairy pom poms. Yes.
Um, did you find out about Oliver Reed? Yeah, I just needed the actual.
I know. What about it? I just needed the actual facts. Okay. Can you tell
us what happened on his final days? Yeah, well, Oliver Reed was a person,
liked having a drink. Like, it's. It's a
weird thing. So I now don't drink as Dan doesn't.
So I. And I don't go out. Like,
you should listen. You should be with the Lord. I don't go doing that to
people and stuff like that. But I do look at alcohol in a different light
nowadays and see how bad it is and more of almost
like a drug and like something which is just quite bad, actually.
Um, Oliver Reed loved
alcohol. If there wasn't alcohol in the world, I don't know, it was just like,
literally, he absolutely loved it. It's now colic, but he
loved it. Day died. It basically was shooting gladiator.
I've still never seen that movie. And it shot in my town. Incredible film.
Yeah. Not my sort of thing, really.
And basically, we had a break for filming
gladiator, and they were in Malta at the time, so I don't live
in Malta. Some of the gladiators filmed in my town. And he
challenged the Royal Navy frigate HMS Cumberland,
which is in the pub. He challenged them all to a drinking competition.
So this is one guy changing the navy to a drinking competition,
essentially.
But he's quite old at the time as well. Oh, this hasn't got the actual
how much he drank. That's so annoying.
He drank. He drank like a crazy, crazy amount.
Oh, so frustrating. And he
was only 61, which isn't really that old, really.
But he looked older from drinking. Same age as demi Moore when she made the
substance. Wow. There's a difference nowadays to that.
And he died in a heart attack from
drinking with them. I'm gutted.
The figures are just crazy. Bloody hell.
I'll see if I can do it. That's like the time that Andre
the giant got challenged to a drinking competition,
and he ended up drinking something like 120 pints.
And he passed out in the pub, and no one could move
him, so they had to leave him asleep in the pub until the next day.
And he woke up and they were like, yeah, we couldn't move you, Andre.
You know, you weigh, like, half a ton and you're eight foot
tall. So we left you here. But apparently, while he was asleep, he let out
a gigantic fart that, like, rattled all the
tables. Not the same sort of
read, you know, but still. Oliver Reed. Yeah, he loved to drink.
And if you want to go and get stuck into some
interviews about, you know, of him turning up on talk
shows in the seventies and eighties, hammered. Making a
bit of a fool of himself, quite frankly. And it's at the time, he was
seen as quite manly. Oliver Reed, you know, he loves to drink,
but it's not really
that great behavior when you realize that he was probably not great
to his. To women around him.
Yeah, I don't. I don't really know that so much.
I still can't. I still can't get how much he drank. But the
bar owner says he still has the tab because no one paid
it. Oh, dear. Ridley Scott didn't want to fork out
for that one then. Oh, no, no. In the pub, drinking himself to
death was. No. Look out.
Um, one last fact before we get stuck into the curse of the
werewolf. My grandma had a cat
called Oliver, and my grandma's surname
was Reid. Oh, really? That's spelled about r
e I d. So different spelling,
but Oliver Reed. And when I was about ten and I started
hearing and knowing about actors and stuff, I suddenly realized that my grandma
had a cat called Oliver Reed, which I thought was very funny,
but there we go. Should we get stuck
into some spanish werewolves? Definitely. I am still just
trying to get the amount of drink. I've seen it before. I can't. I can't
find it. Was it more booze than Dennis
Hopper drink in a day on the set of easy rider because he drank a
lot on the set of easy rider. It was.
It was a ridiculous amount. He drank Dennis. Look, the figures
before, but Dennis Hopper. Was, like, drinking a couple of bottles of rum
a day on his own. Yeah. On the set
of easy rider, man. I can't think who it was.
There's an actor, very classic known
actor in a role which we'd all know in the movie, who would, like,
drink, like, in the morning. He'd drink, like, a whole bottle of whiskey,
whatever, and it'd be as soon as it says, like, roll, do the
lines perfectly. Absolutely. Every time. And it was like waking up drinking that.
And it's just like. That's insane. Yeah,
well, that was what Matthew Perry's life was like
when he was at his worst. Obviously, I've read his biography, and it's
tragic what happened to him, but, yeah, he would.
He would. Couldn't cope without at least one bottle of vodka before he'd
left the house. That's a lot of booze to put away.
And then he then take the pills to balance
things out. That's just destroying your liver and then.
The ketamine and everything else. Yeah. And he was absolutely ruined
destroying your liver. Absolutely. That's. That's what's gonna take you down. Well, that's why his.
His bowels imploded and. Yeah, you know, he. He didn't die from
it, but he almost did, and then he did die from it.
Wow. But anyway, hey, Oliver Reed,
he's a werewolf. Oh,
if you don't know, whatever aid legend I'm sure you do, if you don't
always know, you do know about him and know of him, but you've
never seen anything. You can easily go on YouTube and find Oliver Reed drinking,
and there's just videos of him, just as one of them is leather jacket
for massive big grey handlebar moustache. Just walk around
going, knock on the live show. It's just like,
fucking hell. If you think, Chris, Nicolas Cage
doing backflips, throwing money at people is bad,
Oliver Reed is, like, drunk, not coped.
Imagine if you were an interviewer on a
show like that, and you've got three guests tonight, gav, on your show. One of
them, they say, is Oliver Reeds. That one's you flagged up.
You've got. Oliver Reed is a top one. But you've also got a new actress
called Grace Jones.
Do you remember that interview where she slapped Michael Parkinson
and was, like, trying to wrestle him and fight him because she was so drunk?
Wow. You've also got this new actor called Nicolas Cage.
He's coming on as well. And then we'll have Oliver Reed at the end.
Much of your show that night. Yeah, people would like to see it.
Because those three are some of the funniest interviews I've seen. But not funny,
funny, weird. Well, anyway, this is the first
ever colour werewolf film, as I've said, and we open up with some
crying werewolf eyes. Oh,
sad, sad wolf man. Oh, I've got hairy paw.
I got hairy palm. Sad. Very,
very, very. Hammer score over the credits
playing it's. In Spain and it's a public holiday.
Yes. 200 years ago. It says, in Spain,
I've got, again, posh. Another posh cunt mocking the chef.
Yeah, well, a beggar arrives, first of all.
They sort of. This is weird. Yeah. Goes to the gates.
This. This beggar just come to. Goes this big place. And who owns the door?
Well, he says, why are all the bells ringing? Oh, yeah. And the guy
says, don't you know it's public holidays? Can't you read? And he
says, well, no, I can't. I love it. He says,
no, I can't. I'm a fucking beggar. Which is
a very stereotypical homeless person, really, back in the day,
because, like, we wouldn't think of homeless personnel. Could not read.
So then he goes to a pub and this is where he's
told, yes, it's a public holiday. The reason for
that is our king is marrying and
all of our money, all of our taxpayer money is going on his wedding.
And if you want to know, happens to us anyway. He says,
what are you doing here? He says, well, I'm. I'm begging.
Can you give me something? And he's. They all laugh no, you idiot.
We haven't got any money or any food because it's all gone to that bloody
wedding up the hill. He says, why don't you march your beggar ass up that
hill and knock on the door and beg them for something? And he goes,
all right, I will. And he does.
And he goes, banging on the door. Imagine you're in the middle of your wedding,
you're a kingdom, this village in Spain, and a beggar knocks, ruins your
wedding. Got any money? Got any food?
Shouldn't ruin a reading, though, really. But anyway, today, you twine,
the person. That opens the door says, like, not today. You should get out of
it is Q from the old James Bond films. Roger Morrison,
Sean Connery films. Yes. Oh,
my God, it's Q. I love Q. He's in it a little bit as well.
And he says, like, not. You should get out of here. He's trying to be
a little bit. He's trying to be nice. Yeah. Slightly civil, but this other
good. He's not. He's not a dickhead, but obviously the fucking posh twat.
No, send him in. He could be our entertainment.
Yeah. Well, we realized because just before the beggar knocks
on the door. Did he? Oh, just before the queen,
they knock on the door that he says to his queen, says, what's that?
He says, it's goose. My. Yeah, we've cooked it for you. And she goes,
I don't like it. So he throws it on the floor. Another woman doesn't
want to be getting married to this guy who's just getting no choice.
And he makes the guys pick the.
Goose off the floor, a little bit of a wing or whatever, just throws
it and makes. But the guy, the homeless guys.
Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. And they take the piss out
of him. They say. They really take the piss out of him, and they're
laughing at him. And they say, the wife says, don't mock him. She says,
don't tease him. He's a man, not an animal. And she says, oh,
her husband says, do you want him as a pet, my dear? Is that what
you want? How much? How much to be a pet for my wife? And he's
like, um. He goes, one peseta, ten pesetas. And it's
like, ten pesitas, my lord. Yes, I'll be a pet for your wife.
It's like the poor. Oh, it's horrible.
The woman first, obviously doesn't want this. Like, no.
And. But then he's about to, like,
like, do whatever to him. And she's like, no, no, no.
Tries to save him, but say, I'll give a drink if he's my guest.
You know, feed. No, feed him if he's. So they make him drink, but he.
Says, no, he need foreign food. And he's a drink. And makes him drink and
drink. And this is a massive, massive glass of wine. I want
to keep saying we said P. Diddy so many times this episode because we talked
about. I don't want to say it, but this is exactly what he's
been doing, is forcing. So it's someone
of power. I won't say the name anymore. Someone of powers. Got money,
people around him, egging him on because they gonna. Because otherwise they're getting thrown
out the circle, using people and making.
Forcing them to take in. You know, take stuff in, which is
gonna make them do crazy things for their
entertainment. It's exactly the same. Yeah, because they
make him now, because he's now drunk. They say to him, right now,
you're drunk because he gets hammered instantly because he hasn't eaten
for days. And they give him gallons of wine. They say, right, I want you
to sing and dance for us. I can't dance, sir.
And they make him do this really embarrassing dance.
I feel really sorry for him, actually. And they're
all food, and he's looking around at them like. And then he says.
He falls over and they say, why don't you come and get some food like
a dog that you are? So he crawls over like a dog and starts barking
because he hasn't eaten for days. And she's obviously
very upset about this. And he just stands up and says, well, I'm taking my
queen off to bed now. We've got business to attend to. Wink, wink.
Have a good night, says the beggar.
What did you say? I said, have a good night, my lord.
I'll make sure you have a good night. Lock him in the dungeon.
And he's forgotten about. And they literally forget
about him for years. Yeah. See you
later. And he's in his prison. It's really weird, though.
So I'm just gonna put this out straight away. This person is not
a werewolf. No, he's not werewolf. No, he's just a
homeless person. Somehow he can
spawn werewolves. Well,
the reason that the curse of the werewolf comes about is because the child is
born on Christmas Day. So in spanish
tradition, you're born on Christmas Day,
but on Christmas Day, if you're born on Jesus's birthday in
Spain, it's really bad. Like, you're going to be cursed. You're going to have a
deformity. So that's the reason. Yeah, that's the reason. So anyone that's
born on Christmas day in Spain is where. Yeah.
That good. Every year we've got another couple of werewolves running around,
for fuck sake. We got werewolves here. So weird.
It is weird. But spanish werewolves for you. So this fella's
put in prison and forgot about. So it goes all hairy and skinny.
And it does have a. The jailer kind
of brings in food a little bit and has a daughter that's quite.
Oh, my God. They're kind of. She's a mute daughter,
but they feel okay. They're kind of like,
not all right people. They've kind of feed this guy because.
Well, they cut too many years later where the jailer has died and then.
The daughter still feels bad, so carries on feeding him.
Oh, my God. She is nice.
She's nice to him. But then she goes super hot.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which makes it. But she is super
hot. She might be one of the hottest hammer horror girls.
Oh, Jesus Christ. I watched this with my beloved dearest,
so maybe I wasn't looking. The funny thing is in the posters for
this back in the day and still now, one of the posters is Oliver
Reed as the wolf man, holding this servant, this girl in
his arms, but that's his mother,
like, so that would never have happened because she dies giving birth to him.
So anyway, very strange. But anyway,
yeah, so she grows up to be this hot girl who
brings him, still brings in the food because her job, I guess, she inherits her
job as the jailer and making sure that he's still fed.
And we also understand that the queen died,
leaving the king to be an old, horrible recluse with a bit of a horrible
face. And the jailer's daughter goes upstairs
to him at some point and he says, what's your name?
And he basically tries to rape her. And she bites him.
And he says, right, throw her in the dungeon to teach her some
manners. Yeah. And she gets thrown in with the beggar.
He takes one look at her cleavage. I'm looking
at a picture of her now. It's great, isn't it?
Yeah, she's right. Come on.
She's right. So, very tastefully,
the beggar grabs her and then we cut away.
And we just see her lying on the floor. And she
sort of wakes up with a few cuts and bruises on her. And we know,
sadly, she's been raped by this beggar, by the guy that.
She was being looked after from her. So. Yeah. And we mentioned she
still knew. She still has no voice, so she could not have called out or
screamed out for help. Not that I'd have done anything. And this,
this does something in her brain now. She's had enough.
She. They let her out. Oh, I hope you've learned some manners now.
And they said, you've got to go up and see the king. He wants to
see you. And obviously he wants to have his way with her as well.
She gets up there and the first thing she does is pull out this really
sharp object that she's been hiding behind me on her back.
She stabs him to death multiple times. The king is dead.
I'm. And she runs off.
She collapses in a forest. She lives in the forest for
a few months like an animal. Oh, glad he was stabbed to death
as well because they go up to his place and at this point it says,
like, he's got turned into recluse and nobody likes him anymore.
His wife died of stress. Yeah, well, I love the
way that she pulls out this thing. He's like, no. And he stabs. She stabs
him. And then she just keeps stabbing him. Yeah, it's good. But yeah,
she. So she lives like an animal in this forest for a few months and
then eventually she collapses and she's found in a lake in
the river by a man.
And he pulls her out of the river and
takes her home and nurses her back to health
with his wife. And the man that finds her is narrating the
story. It is. And we find out
she's pregnant. Yeah. She says, oh, well, she's lucky to be alive and even
lucky that her baby's still alive. And he looks at like, by Jove,
what? Even though this is Spain, they wouldn't say, by Jove,
she said, yeah, she's pregnant. Quite controversial,
you know, pregnancy via rape is a very, very obviously
a horrific, horrible thing. And another controversial
thing as well. And another part of the curse, I should imagine, you know,
so, you know, much like Freddy Krueger, etcetera. Yeah,
I guess. Part of the law. So it's
Alfredo that rescued the, the girl,
the servant girl and his wife.
What is up with his pipe? What is all that decoration on his pipe?
I haven't really noticed it. Big grey pipe with all this crazy decoration
on it. It's massive. And he paints with his big pipe, stick out his mouth.
It's really. It's normal. It comes out then atop it. Almost looks like it's
a load of buildings on it or something. It's really weird. Is it
a crack pipe? It's just obviously a tobacco pipe, but it's just weird as fuck.
Yeah, I've seen some crazy pipes in my time. This is weird, though. It's just.
I don't understand what's going on there. Well,
they decide to look after this girl, Alfredo and his wife,
and she's mute. So they're sort of saying, tell us. Tell us what happened
to you, girl. And she's like,
she can. How much awful. Back in the day, if you immute yet
you couldn't read or write, that would be so
frustrating that you couldn't communicate. How did you tell anyone anything?
Yeah, only the people you've grown up with, like your parents, and then they die.
Then it's kind of like, uh, you know.
Well, Theresa says to her husband,
Alfredo. Oh, God, I think I'm. That this
woman's gonna give birth. I hope it's not gonna
be on Christmas day. And he's like, what do you mean? She says, oh,
do you not know the curse, this old spanish tradition, if he's born on
Christmas day, he's like, isn't that like a good thing? Like Jesus?
Exactly like you just said, cal. And she says, no, it's terrible.
Let's hope this baby's either a bit early or a bit late. Well,
let's just imagine Jesus that turns into a werewolf on full moons.
Imagine they put on the crucifix. I would watch werewolf
Jesus. Well, maybe that's why they tried to put him on the crucifix because
they knew he was going to turn at full moon and
that's why there was some silver involved. I turn water into blood.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm trying to think of other
things to do with werewolves and Jesus, but it doesn't work. It's more chance that
he was a vampire. Yeah. Anyway, this girl, a few days
later, she goes into labor and what?
They're down says, oh, is that the noise of the baby coming out,
is it? There you go. Hang on it. So it would be,
oh, well, there. Is a funny little howl
that happens, isn't there? Like an animal howl just before the baby is
born, before the cry of the baby,
they go out and they see her and the
baby's are. The baby's so beautiful. And then they
show the baby to her mum, to its mum and then she looks at
it and then just goes dead and
she bled out and died sadly. Segway.
I bought a new tv, I've got. To say what's that got
to do with bleeding out and dying? Hasn't. But I got a JV big JVC
TV. Okay, I did what? JBC. Same as me.
Yeah, I was gonna say that I got a rocky one. Did you get a
rocky one? No, I got fire. I got rocky one because
I was like Rocky Roku rock.
You know it's Roku. Do you not know what a Roku is?
Roku is a device like a chromecast.
Rock you Roku.
Anyway, I got that one because there's loads of different channels on there.
There's loads on your Jivik tv.
Fuck off. There's loads of horror channels on. I can't help but I can't
talk properly. It's a problem I have and
I'm still a podcast host for ten years, which makes no sense.
And it's got loads of different horror channels which got loads of, like, old school
horror movies. Quite a lot, actually. I was quite surprised by, oh, that's good.
But I did what you did. So I was in the shop, right?
And I'm with Elijah. I had to Elijah come help me buy tv.
I even cleared my car out because I just had those. I was
like, I'm sure they come in huge boxes. So I cleared my car totally
out so I could put a massive box macarthur. It wasn't that big at all,
but I persuaded. I don't want to come watch tv. I said, it used to
be fun looking at tvs. Come on. Dragged him out.
And we're there. Look at them. And the tv's so big. 4000 pound
tv. They're so big. And then I saw one. I was like, oh, it's kind
of smallish, but it's 42 inches, which isn't really small.
But I. With everything else, it looks really small. I got it home,
but it's too big for my tv stand. So I've got a plank of wood.
It's on, sticking out. It's ridiculous. That's what
we did. I did exactly what you did.
We got the 43 inch. Oh, maybe I've got 43 inch.
Yeah. Yeah. Probably is probably the same tv. Yeah,
we. We looked at it in the shop compared, compared to
the ones next to it that are like 80 inches. I was like,
well, that one. That one's probably about the same as our one. We got home.
Our one at home was probably 36. Yeah, yeah. So when I got it back,
I was realized, no, it's because the ones next to it were giant. Yeah,
that's exactly what I did. It literally just fits.
Mine is too big for my stand. So I've got buy new stand. I was
like, for fuck's sake. By the way, very quickly go into the advanced
settings on your JVC in the picture mode and
go to color tone because they've got it on cold as preset.
And turn it off. It makes everything like green or blue.
And as soon as you turn it off, you know, oh, that pops a bit
more. Okay, thank you. All right.
Anyway, go back to the movie. Film. Sorry.
Thank you. If you need any more advice on Givix or rock use,
then fuck off. Gov will help you. So,
yes, the baby. The baby is basically then
adopted by Teresa and Alfredo because they're kind,
really lovely people. Yeah. They take this woman in the crazy pipe man and his
wife took the woman in, she gave birth, died. They thought,
let's take the child on ourselves because they didn't have a child, kind of works.
Let's get it baptized. Oh, shit.
So whilst it's being baptized, lightning starts smashing
down. The rain comes, and as soon as he puts the baby near the holy
water, the holy water starts bubbling up, and they will
look at each other like, is this
a curse of some kind? Now, I'm wondering
if the people who developed omen, the first
omen film, watched this. I went,
basically, this is the omen film we're making, because a lot of things
in this movie is like the omen with the child of Satan,
obviously, and things happening very, very similar to this film.
It's true. Well,
let's cut to a farmer finds
a goat with his throat ripped out. He shouts to his buddy
Pepe. Why, Pepe? Why the hell do I pay you to
look after our animals when you're just letting wolves
come around, rip out people's throats? Well,
I don't know. I'll have to go out and have a look for this wolf.
I haven't seen anything around here. Well, do your bloody job, Pepe,
for God's sake. And Teresa,
he goes back and says, oh, bloody goat at his throat ripped out. And Teresa
says to this farmer, oh, that's funny. A kitten was
found with its throat ripped out earlier today, and it was.
It was little Leon, because they've called him Leon the little boy,
or grew up to be Oliver Reed. Little Leon's kitten is what.
He really loved, that kitten. Well, I hope he doesn't see it, because he hates
the sight of blood. Does he? But does he?
He says, well, yeah, I took him out hunting, and he almost
got sick when I took him out. Yeah. So he really doesn't like the sight
of blood. Interesting,
interesting, interesting.
They find Leon and they say, oh, it's time for your dinner.
No, I'm not hungry, thanks. What? Yeah, I'm not hungry.
I feel like I'm really full up. Is that because you've just eaten a goat
and a kitten when you were off being a little werewolf,
Leon? Is that so? He's about ten years old at this point.
He looks a bit like a little Pugsley Adams type character.
He looks very much like a young Oliver Reed. He does.
They've done a good. Yeah.
And Pepe gets told, you know, go and hunt and kill this
wolf. You've got 24 hours, basically, to trap this shark
down. I mean, to track this wolf down. It's not a shark. Get him.
I take him down. All right, I'll get
this wolf in 24 hours. Bloody hell. Anyway, full moon that night,
and Pepe has his gun and he hears a
howl and he thinks, there's something over there. I'll shoot.
I'll shoot it. And he shoots. And he shoots. Poor little Leon
who's out running around. What are you doing out here?
So at home, Alfreda and Theresa,
his uncle and auntie, or adoptive parents, they tend to his wounds
and they go, what could have happened? Oh, what's this pulled out of his leg?
A big round shot from the shotgun. And the guy's like,
you know, I saw a wolf and I shot. I saw
a wolf and I shot at a wolf. Yeah. And they're like,
yeah, whatever, mate. And he's like, no, I did, I did. Yeah, I.
And there's a few more dead animals as well from that night, which we
know now. Leon is probably killed, but they. They haven't figured that
out yet. But Alfredo
and Teresa do, they do look at his windows and think, how the hell did
he get out of his room? The only way out, I guess, was through the
window. But because we would have heard him come down the
stairs, how did he get out and jump out the window? So they
asked him, what happened? Where did you go last night? And he says, great bit
of acting here from child actor. You don't get it very often.
He says, I really can't remember anything. I just have this dream and I have
a bad dream every night where I go
and I put my face in the blood and I drink it and it
tastes so sweet, so sticky and sweet. And I
just think the poor boy, like, it really sells
it to me that he's having these horrible nightmares about drinking, tasting blood.
And Alfredo says, right, show me the palms of your hands.
And he flips them over. Gav, I got hairy palms and it's not from
masturbating. Why was that always
a thing at school? Have no idea. Well,
you get hairy palms if you keep doing that. Surely you wouldn't because you'd wear
them down. That's what I always thought. And I tried enough times
and I still didn't get any hairy palms. I've got not one hair.
No, not. You're a massive wanker as well.
Chronic, chronic mass. Imagine if someone
has once killed themselves from masturbating. The boy
did. Once I read a story about a boy that did it. Like, he was
doing it like twelve times a day. And he
died of, like, fluid loss or
something like that. He's so dried out,
like a little prune. Can I get one
more wake before the end of the day.
Worn it down to a little nubbin. Now Teresa
is very distressed because not only is her boy having these nightmares and he
escaped his room, but he's also got hairy palms. So she thinks he's a
massive wanker. Alfredo says,
I'm gonna go and talk to this priest about dark
forces and evil and stuff like that because they know about that kind of thing.
It's omens. It's the first omen movie.
Yeah, dollars just like. Yeah,
basically gonna make remake this movie, but it's just could be not a werewolf,
but the Antichrist. And he says to the priest, do you think he
could be cursed? My wife says, mentioned this curse and this is the first
time we hear the word werewolf because the priest says
there is such a thing as a werewolf, which is where a man's.
And there's a man's soul in the body of
an animal. Yeah. Happy. I love this.
To stop the werewolf. Happiness and love.
Love is the key. Love is the cure. Love, love generally
is the key for life. I'll let everybody know this right now. If you ever
looking for anything in the world, love is the key, honestly. And it's not just
my love for my wife or whatever, it's the love of just love,
you know, love and existence. Love is all you need. Love is all.
Unfortunately, it's a cheesy and cliche as a Beatles singing that.
It is, it is, it's true. It is at the end of day love.
Yeah, it's, you know, I love dinner anyway.
I love the fact that this werewolf, what you do for this one, I love
the fact that they're just throwing it right. Basically there's no. This is the first
colorful werewolf movie. We're just going to throw loads of shit. This basically, you turn
into a werewolf if you just born on Christmas day in Spain.
Merry Christmas Bridge is gonna fucking do whatever you want this.
And just to stop the werewolf from coming out all your
life, you're absolutely fine. If you've got someone that loves you and you love them
for the rest of your whole life, you won't be aware of.
So basically your mom and dad love you, but also try and find a wife
or someone that will love you as well. Because at a certain point he does
get into it. I'm jumping ahead, but at certain point he grows up and he
leaves, leaves the home. Now I was like, okay, so he hasn't got
love here. Has he got a love meter? And it's slowly going down.
But as soon as he meets someone, it's going to top back up and it'll
be all right. Well, his mate Jose certainly takes him off to find love
at the brothel later on, don't he? Well, exactly. Love in
any form, I suppose. But yes, he says, the priest says
if he finds true love, his soul might be saved from the werewolf
curse.
Someone's right now. So I'm gonna have true love. So what's the werewolf?
So how's it true love stops it, dear. You've true love,
so what about silver bullets? Yeah, they work as well. True love
for this one, true love. In this, in our film, it's gonna be true love.
Silver bullets and burning, those are the three ways to kill a werewolf.
But true love is the top one. It's a hard one. So he's got love,
but if his. And if his wife was to pass away and
his mum and dad were not there or whatever, and he'd have love,
you know, if he had a child, though, then that love
would still possibly be there. Yeah, because that child will love him.
Well, we cut to some pissed blokes in the
local tavern talking about, there's a man saying
blood was drained from the animals by the
light of a full moon. And they're like, what you talking about,
Pete? And he says he finishes
with this after ranting for ages. And they ask him what he's talking about.
He just says, that which we shall not speak
of, and then walks off. Fucking hell. You spent ten minutes
on a rant about something, killing animals and sucking the blood. When we
asked you what it was, you just said, it's that we shall not speak of.
I don't speak very much. I don't talk huge mounts. If you're with me quite
often, I'll be quite quiet. Often podcasts and that'd be a shit podcast,
but generally I like to stay quiet and not speak
and stuff, but I hate it when someone just dribbles on
and talks to me about saying I don't need to know about, and I'm what
this? As I'm listening to, I'm like, I don't need to know this and I
can't stop you, and you're just gonna keep talking to me. I hate that.
Stop talking, you. My brain's having to remember this and it's
not important. So basically, stop talking.
Now, Alfredo has put some bars on
Leon's windows to keep.
He says, this should keep your nightmares away, son. In other
words, keep you locked in. If you try and escape the windows and
for some reason, we see Pepe, who suspects more than he's
letting on. He has melted down his wife's crucifix. He thinks
that love better not, you know, just in case love meter goes down.
He thinks, I better make a silver bullet. Bullets. Because I've
seen a few other movies. Cross across, which was blessed by the
bishop. Yeah. His wife goes, where the fuck's my crucifix? And he goes,
I don't even try and hide a bullet case. I made it
into a bullet, all right,
but hang on. That was blessed by the archbishop. And he's like,
it's even more holy then, isn't it? I don't care if it was David Hasselhoff's.
I make a silver bullet out of it. Have you seen my
Hasselhoff crucifix, Gav? I've melted it down.
That's my David Hasselhoff crucifix. He used that
on the 7th Night Rider.
So, yeah, he's got a silver bullet and
he. He loads it into his gun. And he sees a dog
or a wolf. He's not sure. He shoots at it.
It's only one bullet. I wouldn't be fucking nearly willy with it.
Now. Lay on. Because it's full moon. You might. You get home.
I said, did you use that fucking bullet? Well, I shot it at something
tonight. You wasted my. Wow. Thanks for that
silver crucifix. I only had one of those. Yeah.
Now Leon is wolfing out a little
bit. A little Leon, he's up at the bars trying to get out with big
fangs. Is there any comedy, eighties comedy, horror movies called wolfing out?
Wolfing out? There should be. It's just
a werewolf driving around in. The cadillac trying to get into college.
It's like team wolf three wolfing out. Yeah,
but different. Tacky. Yeah.
Good. I'm glad you said that. Zim Wolf isn't tacky. I don't
know. I'm not a massive fan of it. It's a bit cheesy,
but it's not kind of tacky. It's fine. It does
its own thing. One of my favorite werewolf movies of all time.
Now they put him back to bed and they calm him
down. You know, put your fangs away, Leon. Glide back down.
Stop rubbing your hairy palms. Actually, I'll have to let larger watch Team Wolf.
He might find that funny. Yeah, I think you'd like that. Yeah, it's great for
puberty as well. Like helping you to understand these
changes your body goes through. He's this morning.
Excuse me. I was gonna do his home, Ed. I was gonna do.
I went and got some mushrooms and we could do this online thing where dissecting
a mushroom. And you're going into it looking at all how a mushroom works and
it wouldn't do it with me because I'll make it rubbish.
Because you're. Because you're annoying. Oh,
okay. Tells me recently all the time how annoying I am.
It's turning into a teenager and I don't care, you know?
Oh, dear. I've been called all sorts from my lovely
young daughter Daisy when she turned into a teenager. Oh,
dear. I've got all that to come. Oh, yeah, you've got it twice at once,
though. Now it turns out that Pepe,
all he did was he killed the farmer's dog with that silver bullet. So you're
right, his wife is going to be pissed off with him.
And the farmer is also annoyed because he's lost his dog.
Yeah, a bloody sheepdog. Anyway, many years later,
cut to many. Years later, Pepe's wife's still annoyed of him.
Yeah. She hasn't forgot, but Oliver Reed is
on the scene now. Leon has now grown into a fully blossomed Oliver
Reed. And before we did that,
when we had the boy, there's a shot of him at the bars
like that. Did you mention it? Yeah.
I must been this daydreaming, but his
teeth, the way he looks. Looks a little bit like the kid in Salem's law
hanging. Yeah. Really did, didn't he? He really did. I thought that.
I didn't say that. But, yeah, you're right, he did. We got sidetracked by talk
of Team Wolf. That's what it was. Okay. Yeah. So Oliver is now a
grown, strapping. Lad and he's leaving.
He's doing that thing which kids can't. Do anymore, leave home,
because the voiceover says. And by then he'd grown up and
cured him of his terrible secret. And then he says,
I'm off to make my own way in the world now, father or Alfredo.
I'm probably going to try and get a job at the vineyard. And they're like,
okay, goodbye, son. Take care. Bye bye. Or spoken in this
Oliver read, obviously, he hasn't started drinking and he
walks. What? He's off to get a job at a vineyard? Fucking hell.
He walks through the countryside. We get the jolly music playing.
Very unhammer music, this jolly score that comes in.
Yeah, I think. I think this movie in hold is a bit of an
oddity for hammers, actually. Yeah. Especially with Oliver Reed. Well, it's almost
like an accident. They basically got the set and they're like, fuck it. Let's do
it. Who can we get to make sure it works? Terry Fisher. Get him there.
Yeah. The guy he gets a job with is
the neighbor from Hound of Baskerville.
Oh, is it? Is that the same guy? Oh, wow.
What? Jose, the guy that he works with. The vineyard,
gives him a job. The one? Yes, the guy that gives him the job.
That's right. Stapleton. Is he. Wow. Okay.
Well, we get another moment, which I'm sure you're going to get annoyed by,
because Oliver Reed turns up at this vineyard, and a carriage
with a posh twat in it goes past and
splashes him with mud. And they go,
ahahaha. And that's
the girl that he's gonna hook up with later on in there, so he'll get
his own back. And then the vineyard owner comes out. He says,
you look very strong. Are you ready to work? And he's
like, yes, I'm strong and I want to work. That's your job interview
done. Come on in. Then. Some good script writing just there.
And he says to him, I've written this down, Gav. He says to him,
okay, this is where you work. You work from 07:00 a.m. till 10:00
p.m. every day with a 30 minutes lunch break.
Fucking hell.
Seven till ten every day. That's a long day.
Yeah. And probably gets paid shit all. That's 13.
That's 15 hours a day. Yeah, probably for nothing. Next to nothing.
And then he meets his colleague Jose, who's pissed because he works in
a vineyard. That's probably what you're going to end. Up, because he says
to him, what do I do? Then he goes, basically, put the
red wine in these bottles, white wine in these bottles.
Anything else I need to know? The labels go on the outside, and the wine
goes on the inside.
And he's like, I'm going to like this. Yeah.
And then he fills him in on the locals, and he tells him,
that woman, that hottie that you saw earlier,
Christina, she's marrying that guy. She doesn't love him.
Another woman who doesn't love the man she's marrying, Gav. Yeah.
Traits. And he's like, oh, she's really
hot. And he's like, yeah, she is really hot, but she's getting married to that
twilight, so I wouldn't worry about it. Well, she comes over and. And says,
excuse me. And Leon's like, hello.
She's like, are you the man, that we splashed with mud earlier. I'm really sorry.
I wanted to apologize for my stupid fiance doing that. It's very mean
of him. And he's looking at her like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ding.
He's looking at her like Christopher Lee looks at that woman in the behind
of the basketballs. And it's.
We look, as an audience, learn that Christina is very,
very unhappily engaged. She doesn't want to be with this guy and
she likes the look of Oliver Reed, too. So, um,
Cork, there we go.
Um, Jose says, well, don't worry, don't stop thinking about her,
Oliverie, because I've made some porn. Look at this porn I've
made out of. I've cut out some paper chains
of women and I'm going to hold it up to the light and I'm going
to move it around a little bit. And it's like primitive porn that they look
at. I can't believe that I've got no notes
for the primitive porn. I remember it, though, very well.
That's why I'm surprised. I must have been so surprised by. I just didn't take
notes. I must said, sarah, what the fuck? And I love the fact she's like.
It's like one step back further. Then in that Friday
the 13th movie, when he finds the victorian porn films. On, it is basically
almost like this. Making our own porn. It's crazy.
Anyway, he says to him, don't be sad. You know what tomorrow is?
It's Saturday, it's payday. We're going to go out, we'll go
dancing, there's going to be music, there's going to be women. And Leon's,
like, kind of pressuring into going out. Don't really if I
want to, really. Anyway, we find out that Leon and Christina start
having an affair and he
says, well, let's run away together and get married. She says,
I can't, you know, I'm marrying someone else and
I just know where I can escape from this life. Oh, it's all very sad.
So he gets depressed and he goes back and he goes, all right, then Jose,
take me to the brothel. I'm really depressed.
Jose says, yeah, party time.
Come on, then. So Oliver Reed and Jose head to the brothel
and it is indeed party time. It's full of girls dancing,
they're drunk, everyone's having a great time.
Jose's got a girl on each side of him, but another
girl sees Leon and say, oh, I like the look of. Her name's Vera.
There is a full moon. And the full moon kicks in.
He starts sweating. Why now?
Is his love meter gone down? Might have done, because he's not
with his Alfredo. There's been other four moons have happened.
I love the way you've got this love meter built into the plot
now. Oh, yeah. It's like a video game. Full moon
is a thing still. But if love meter goes down formally.
So it's because he's moved out. Yeah. And yes, love me,
it's going down. And a sex worker won't
run off with. No, the hot girl Christina won't run away with him
and get married. So even though she's giving him kisses.
And the sex worker isn't real love,
so the full moon is starting to affect him because his love meter has gone
down. So he starts sweating and she says, are you all
right? You okay? And he doesn't really answer. And he
says, she says, I think you should come out with me and get some air.
So he stumbles outside and she says,
it's quite a saucy little minx now. She says she's terrible. She says,
you're not well, maybe you should lie down in my room. Yeah.
And then she says she sex pests him. Then she says,
we could slip up the back way. She literally says
we could slip up the back way so no one will see.
Yeah, slip up the back way. I bet you could. When they
put that in the script, when Terrence Fisher said, just say that
line, they were loving that. They've got that past the BBFC.
BBCFC or whatever it's called. BBFC. Thank you.
Slip up the back way. Anyway, Jose, meanwhile, is smashed
with two girls downstairs there. He's got one on each side of him. And they'll
go, where's your buddy? You said, we're gonna have a bit of an orgy.
And he's like, I don't know where he is. He's upstairs with Vera.
Brewer's droop is not getting it up.
I mean, he's got two girls. He better try.
So Leon lies on Vera's bed, I've got a friend. And every time,
almost every time he got drunk, when he pulled,
he was always so wasted, pretty much every time. And he's put.
He pulled quite often. And you'd be kind of jealous, like, how do you
do that? But always get back. Then he'd fingers.
No, he couldn't get up. Every time.
That must be so bad. It's the word. I've definitely
had it happen, but not every time, lady.
I don't have the issue. Christ.
So she's on the bed and she's pretty much sex pestered him.
Yes. Well, he's spaced out, isn't he?
Staring off into the space. Yeah. And then almost
the full moon comes on a bit more from the clouds and then he sort
of starts to kiss her. Yeah. He gets really animalistic.
He flips her over and kisses her and he. And he's got a really
weird look in his eyes. And she goes, ow. And he's
drawn a bit of blood on her throat.
And she runs over and she says,
if you want that kind of thing, you've come to the wrong place, mister.
Well, you're the one that fucking coheres. Cohered him into.
I think she means drawing blood, Gavin. And all
of a sudden a werewolf hand grabs her by the neck. Yeah.
And then we get blood everywhere.
This is quite full on for a hammer film. The amount of blood. Actually.
Now, this film got an absolute bollock
in by the ratings because when they presented the film
initially, they told them there was too much sex and too much
violence. So they said, you're going to need to cut down one or the
other. So they toned down a little bit of the sex.
And that was a. They toned
down a little bit of the rape scene. That's why you don't see it at
the beginning. And they toned down some of the girls stuff here.
But they, in doing that, the BBFC
let them leave in all this blood because it's a
lot of blood in this scene. And I know it's gloopy, bright red hammer
blood, but it's still a lot of blood going everywhere. Anyway, Jose says
to his two girls, I'll go and find Oliver and we'll get
our orgy going. Let's go find him. So he goes knocking on
the door and he goes in and he sees Vera dead.
And then by shadow, we see the shadow of someone strangling Jose.
Poor old Jose.
We do. We do come.
Go on. What we're gonna say we do. We see an old
drunk then. Is that what you're gonna talk about, the old drunk?
Well, no, I was gonna say about my next notes, about the guy who's
still moaning about his dog's being killed 13 years ago.
Yeah, he's rambling about a silver bullet 13 years ago. That was his
dog being killed by a silver bullet. Yeah. I'll never forgive that bloody guy
13 years ago. My bloody dog. So that wife probably never forgiven him
either. And then as he's stumbling on, she's been thrown out the
bar. It's like, go home, Harry. You've had too much to drink. No one wants
to hear about your fucking dog. So basically, without it
kind of being telegraphs or so to speak,
we have now got to where american rail for
London, where the. We've seen the werewolf change and he's gone
out on town. That's where we're at now. It just doesn't.
Sure show us this. We don't. It's a very gentle
uphill to this. It's not all sudden a massive, like, miracle for London.
It's a very mid. Well going
into the third act, I guess, really. No, it's probably midpoint.
It's that bit where it's just like, fuck me. And that's where it's like,
oh, my God. We don't have that with this. But we now are in that
territory where there's a werewolf out there. Because a common complaint with this
film is, firstly, Oliver Reed doesn't shut up for 45 minutes,
which is exactly at the halfway point. And secondly, you don't really see much of
the werewolf, but I don't think that's a bad thing. The world looks good,
though. This fight have it very much this night where he's ma.
He's basically on a rampage. His massacre is his first proper night as
an adult werewolf. He's killed that Vera, the sex worker, he's killed
his house mate, Jose, and now
he's killing this drunk guy in the street. Well, you see, I tell you what,
you see the wolf shadows on a roof, which is really nice when he.
Jumps off the roof. And it's great onto that guy. Some really cool stuff going
on. Yeah. Really athletic, you know, jump. And I
wouldn't be surprised if it was Oliver Reed doing some of that. Yeah, I expect
so. He jumps onto him and he kills him as well. And Alfredo
wakes up Leon later on. So he's made his way home, all the
way back to his uncle and aunties, not at
the vineyard. His animalistic nature made him go all the way back home.
And he wakes him up and he says, leon, leon, where are you? Where are
you clothes? You bent the barna you got out of your room.
How have you done this? And he says, I don't know,
I can't remember. And they say, all right, we're going to tell you the truth
now. You're a werewolf, mate, plain and
simple. I'm really sorry. You're a werewolf. And he's like,
no, no, I don't remember anything about last night. And then he
says, all I remember is blood all over my hands. And they
say to him, look, Leon, we have got some good news. Love is
the only cure. They tell him the whole thing, you're a
werewolf, but love is the only cure. They're like,
okay. And then the priest says, look, I want to get him into a monastery.
He keeps saying this all the way through. I reckon if I can get him
in with the money, he'll be alright. I'm actually
wrong. I was saying his gentle, uphill here, werewolf territory. Now we're not,
because it does stop. He's not well for anymore. We actually do have a point
where there is a build up leading up to it, because it's,
there's a moon coming up again and he's like, going to be, leave me in
jail. So we actually do have a tension riser
here. I'm wrong from what I said earlier. But it's
still like a burst out of nowhere. But you're right, it does stop for.
A little bit, I guess. Yeah, we had that showing us
it stops. But then we're building up to another werewolf attack, which we
know is going to happen because we now know there is a werewolf.
Well, a great little piece here, you know,
as any person who woke up cannot remember
what's happened and then is told they're a werewolf. Love is a cure.
And we're probably going to try to lock you in a monastery. He can't take
it and he just runs off and he collapses in the countryside and
he sort of walks along a little bit and then two cops find him.
Hello. Hello, hello. They say, I want to talk to you about your whereabouts last
night. We understand that your boss is the owner
of this vineyard and your housemate's missing. And he's
like, I don't remember it. I was very drunk and I ended up back at
my parents. And then his boss appears and says,
oi. You went to that bloody brothel
with Jose. I'm disgusted by your actions.
Get out of my sight. Make sure you were ready tomorrow. So he
sort of, he's all spaced out, he's very forgetful.
Nighttime comes, full moon. Oh, shit.
His, well, his girlfriend stays with him at first, doesn't she?
Yeah. Christina comes in passively, aggressively, asks her to marry him.
He does that in a minute. He first says to her, like, get away,
get away. And she says no. And then he falls down the stairs and
she stays with him and he doesn't transform because love is
the cure. As we've said, the love me is topped up. Yep. And this
is where he says to her, he grabs her and he says, christina,
let's run away and get married. It's like, jesus Christ,
all right? She says, yes, of course.
But then he's saying, tell the mayor I need to be executed and burnt alive.
Hang on, hang on, that's in a minute
then. So that's before he's arrested,
when he asks her to marry him, because then some men arrive and arrest him
on suspicion of murder. We found your bloody clothes at the scene.
You're coming to jail. That's that. And then he realizes,
ah, okay, if I can't run away and be with Christina, I'm going to
turn into this werewolf again. I'm going to kill people. So while he's in
jail, he says to the jailer, can you go and get my dad, my,
well, my adopted father, Alfredo? And he
says, why? And he says, please, just do it, just do it.
And then Christina is caught by her father trying to elope.
He says, where are you going? She's like, I'm running away with my
fiance, you know, Oliver Reed? And he's like,
ha, he's in jail for murder.
She says, well, I want to go and see him. He said, well, I won't
let you. Then her fiance that she was supposed to marry
comes in as well. And he says, what do you mean you're marrying someone else,
you're supposed to be married. She says, give me your carriage, I'm going to go
and see him in jail. No, I'm not letting
you go. She runs off and she steals his carriage and heads off to see
Leon. Now Leon begs, as you said,
please kill me, get me hung, get me burnt.
Why is all suddenly said that saying basically, let's get married. On my way.
Actually decided, I've decided I can get. But you don't need to love me
is what you need. Yeah, but he doesn't think he's gonna see Christina again.
He's in jail. It's all do have an all very civilized werewolf
goings on in this film. It's all quite a. Yeah,
his uncle and the bishop turn up and they say, look, all right,
we'll talk to the mayor about getting you burnt alive.
It's also civilized, just discuss this discussion because
as you're werewolf, we could find out, we could probably. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. We could probably get you burned, no problem.
So they go to meet the mayor, the mayor of this town. He said,
hello, hello. Look, my nephew is in jail,
just to let you know he's cursed. He's a werewolf. If we can just get
him burnt alive rather than stand trial, he's like,
okay, well, let's go and have take a look at him. Then the priest pipes
up, I could always take him to my monastery.
Stop saying that. You're not having your way with him, with the monks in the
monastery. So the mayor goes over and he goes, right, show me your hands,
show me your teeth. So there's no palms there, no, teeth. Aren't shop. You're not
a werewolf. Let me ask, is he a werewolf? No,
she's. No, he's not a werewolf then, is he? There he is, Sherlock Holmes
on the case. He says, right, I'm going home
for my tea. He'll have to stand trial and that's the end of
that. I'm not going to burn him to death. See you later. Yeah.
And then Oliver Reed says, look, I know someone with a silver bullet,
Pepe. Go and get it, dad, and use it on me.
Yeah, he's a bit distraught, obviously.
Christina is told about the curse. His cellmates, Michael Ripper.
Classic, classic. Hammer person.
Yeah. Background guy. Well, in loads of films. He's the
one I love in the plague of zombies. He's in the pub and he's.
Hello, hello. What's this? He always plays like when everyone's leaves
the pub and he's alone by himself in the pub. What's going on now?
He's in, yes, he's in this cellmate with Michael Ripper. And the
full moon is shown. And you think this cellmate?
Yes. We cut briefly to his dad finding Pepe and saying,
I need the silver bullet now. And Pepe's like, oh,
boy, here we go. Not again. Leon changes.
Yeah, transformation, it's good. I love those
old school sort of. Yeah, it's universal. Yeah, it's just.
Yeah, yeah. And Christina goes to visit Leon's
adopted parents and she
finds out all about the curse and all this, that and the other. And,
you know, love is the cure. Keep getting told the prisoner
is killed by Laon and Leon
rips the door off, kills the jailer as well. So he's on
a rampage now and the whole village see him and
they see him climbing around on all the rooftops. Really good makeup.
Looks all really good. Yeah. And I love a bipedal werewolf
as well. And he's running around. He's a wolf man, really. Like, he's not
a werewolf is heavy. Frankenstein. We've got the town folk
after him. Yeah. With their pitchforks and torches and
I. Don'T know how he's just jumped out and got on the roof and all
of a sudden, out of nowhere is a group of people. How do they know?
How have they formed so quickly? Oh, that's what they
do back in these villages. Are they ready?
Like, it's going to be saying, come everybody, let's go. It's like the neighborhood watch.
As soon as they. There's a monster on the loose. Everybody get your pitchforks.
Which type of monster is it? A vampire? Frankenstein. I watched movie again
recently, which I actually really quite like and actually thought about possibly cover it.
View the watch. With Ben
Stiller. Yeah, yeah. It's quite good blood in there, actually.
Yeah, it's quite good. Yeah. I thought maybe we could cover that. We could
do that one with, um, attack the block or something. Yeah,
I don't really attack block, but I would. I would do it to review it.
So. Yeah, I will add it to the list.
Yeah. He climbs, he scales a wall. They set.
Set a few buildings on fire. He manages to get to a bell
tower. And the sounds of the bell is very quasimodo
now. Hunchback of Notre Dame, because the,
the bell tower is hurting his ears and he's trapped. He's howling.
There's a bit where it's like he's doing Ernie parkour.
Yeah, yeah. He's like bouncing around. He's very Tom Cruiser
like. And Christina sees him and she
is horrified. She's like, that's the guy I was going to run away with.
And he's a grotesque werewolf. Oh, no.
So he's down to Alfredo, and it's his poor adopted dad.
His uncle climbs up with a silver bullet in the rifle.
And he looks at him and it's not his. He knows it's not him.
It's just a werewolf. One of the crowd members looks like Willy Wonka. He's got
a top hat. And it's exactly like I'm
describing a really heartfelt moment. You're like, and Willy Wonka was in the crowd.
He had a really big hack. Sorry, carry on. No, no, no, it's fine.
I love a big hat. And he shoot, yeah, he shoots him
in the chest. He shoots Oliver Reed in the chest. Sad, almost get
up there and he. All of a sudden, these bells start ringing out and he's
just. It's like Quasimodo, like I say,
frankenstein. Monster, you kind of feel sorry for the
thing, the monster, when, when it's not totally the
monster's fault because he. Swings the bell at his dad,
almost like saying, please do this.
I want to be dead. Yeah. Like provoking him.
It's quite sad actually. And the saddest bit for me is after
he shot him in the chest and he doesn't turn back. This is rare for
a werewolf film. He doesn't turn back into it. His dad
covers it, takes his cloak off and covers it over his son's face
with teary eyes and he's like, I've just had
to kill my adopted son. So that you know, they find well. Think about
how the son came to him. Yeah, I was going to say they found this
woman in the river. She died. She was mute
anyway. She could never even
tell them that she was. And it's not always these tears
aren't sadness for himself, his tears are sadness for the kid
who turned. It was born from this. He didn't know what
the rape etc. But, but mum died
and we tried our best and just. He was a good
kid and then grew up and yeah it's quite a sad ending really.
And it's a fairly good performance all of, under all the
makeup. Um, it's a very different werewolf film.
It's really different. And it's, it's not, it's not really a monster
film. It is more of a curse film really. Yeah.
Um, I wonder um, you know,
I wonder what other people think of this film. Say people who
are non england growing up with hammer and stuff to watch this
film now and think what Jamie, what do
you think of this film? You've been werewolf fan, what do
you think of this film? She's a huge werewolf fan so
it's. Just interested you know. Yeah, it's um, it's like
you said, it's definitely an oddity. Um,
and partly because it's a Hammersoni
werewolf film, partly because it's the first color werewolf film, but, but second,
but thirdly because it's, it's quite a classy toward
a force of acting really. And story just
happens to have a wolf in throne in
the mix like a werewolf. It's very strange but I do really like it
and it's a staple of, you know, werewolf films in my opinion.
Yeah, I really like it. And it's a
thumbs up as was the other one earlier. Yeah, we did an argument, both thumbs
up. It's a second time watch this movie. But always different when
you review it for the podcast.
I thought it's really good. Yeah, it's really good.
I've got not a lot to say on it really. It's just great really.
It's a fairly good stuff. I'm not gonna watch it loads. If it was on,
I might watch it, but I'm not gonna watch it. I've seen
it now. I reviewed it. I remember I own it,
so I'm happy to, like. I kind of own a lot of
werewolf films. Some of them quite shit, because I love werewolf films,
but that's not really. There we go. I got it on videotape at a
car boot sale for 25 pence. I watched it and went,
all right. And sold on ebay for 25 pound.
Bloody hell, that was. Yeah, that was probably 20
years ago. Anyway, um,
yeah, these sets, by the way, were shot at Bray, so it wasn't filmed in
Spain. Bray Studios in Berkshire. But they were.
The film that was going to be made was called the rape of Sabina.
And then the BBFC objected to the script, which contained lots of
rape, so they shut down the production of that film.
And then Hammer were like, oh, that's cool. Well,
let's change it. Yeah, but actually it's not
a huge change because they were going to set
the film in Paris and then they just changed the film to Spain.
English werewolf in Paris. Oh,
Oliver Reed getting drunk in Paris. That'd be
brilliant. But there we go. Yeah, great movie. Both great movies.
I guess the last, I picked red wine out my nose in Paris.
Oh, wonderful. Never done that before, ever. I was like,
why is red wine coming out my nose? Well, I was about to
say, Terence Fisher, thank you. We salute you.
Thank you for all your fantastic horror films with hammer especially.
And we hope you've never puked red wine out of your nose. Terry. Old Terry
Fish. Yeah. Somewhere, I think there's actually video of me
doing it. Oh, my God. Get it on the facebook page.
I don't know where it is now. It's probably gone. Long gone, but yeah.
God, I'm so glad social media wasn't around.
There is a few things of me around still, but nothing too bad.
There's me, there's skateboarding videos where there's bits where there's like
one bit where I'm doing a line of paracetamol.
Oh. As I, like a 15 year old kid,
there's a skateboarding. It's a video. And I was watching again. Okay,
I don't remember that, but all. Right, there's video footage somewhere of me
out there dancing to the entire full length,
like, six minute extended version of Jump by
Van Halen on my own in the living room. Wow.
There's also video footage of me at a wedding
dancing with the bride's garter on my leg with
an. It's one of my ex girlfriend's cousins. So when she looks
at that video, she'll remember me 20 years later because
I'm the drunk guy with the garter on my leg.
Great. Anyway,
let's take a break and come back to the outro.
We're back. We are back. Well.
You see DC album back in black.
In black. We're not, though. I'm in white and you're in
green. I'm in green. I've got a black t shirt on that says Dario
Argento on it, though. It does. But I'm also wearing Bermuda
shorts. I thought it was nothing. No,
that was Terrence Fisher. That was another director's special. That was also a
sneaky hammer horror double bill for us to get us in the mood for Halloween.
Spooky times. So that was episode 164. So I'm
two things. John Carpenter, breaking news. Breaking news. John Carpenter's
now tweeted a message saying, what's a letterboxed?
So that answers that one. So it's not him.
And the other thing is, I'm actually djing a
Halloween party this year down at the cobbit. Are you
gonna be dressed up? I potentially might be making
a Freddy Krueger music video soon with someone in
a Freddie. Music Freddy music Freddy Krueger costume. And if I
still got the costume, I'm gonna wear that. But I wear glasses and it's a
cunt. When you wear glasses to do costumes, you can't do masks or anything.
But if I wear the hat. No, I can't read a hat. You. I have
my headphones on, but I could wear this drivey jumper.
People don't know where you are. That's all. That's what I'll go for. That'd be
it. Yeah. Well, Halloween is coming,
so our next couple of episodes will be leading to October.
So let's talk about those. So our next episode will be
episode 165, which is another patron pick.
And that'll be Holly. And she's.
Yeah, I. Irish comedy horrors. The boys from county
hell from 2020, about an irish folk horror vampire
thing. Great. Can't wait. It's based on a real story,
and there's a lot to dig into on that one, if you've gotten the pun.
And extraordinary from 2019.
Yeah. Which is another irish comedy, as I must say. So that's
going to lead us up then, to our Halloween special,
episode 166. And I am moving House.
So we're gonna try our best to sort this out and get, obviously, a Halloween
episode out when we can. Yes. We're hoping both of
them will drop. I can. Yes.
But. 166 our Halloween special will be,
as always, the next in the franchise.
A nightmare on Elm street part five, the dream child and
Halloween five, the revenge of Michael Myers, both from 1989.
So tail end of the eighties with those two.
Interesting. Remy Harlan did par five.
I cannot remember him
talking about the movie the nightmare one. He did. And like,
how he tried to really change it and put a lot more.
And so I was like, oh, that'd be quite interesting. Watch. It might even be
part five.
Actually. Maybe it's. I don't know.
But we'll talk about them. It's Freddy Krueger. And it's Michael
Myers. Now we talk. Okay, so that's Halloween.
And then, gav, you're gonna be excited for episode 167
because we're covering.
Yeah. The exorcist two, the heretic.
I've never seen it. Exactly. And the exorcist three.
Oh, very good film. So we're going to be covering exorcist
two and three after our Halloween episode. So lots to look
forward to. Some irish comedy horror,
Freddy and Michael, and then some exorcist sequels.
Excellent stuff. Have you found Rennie
Holland? I think it was three or four. He did.
Uh. I'm getting to it. He's getting to it,
everyone. He's getting to it. Come on, Gabriel.
Waiting. We're waiting. We're excited.
Yes. Because he did other things, you see. I'm sorry, I was sure. Just clicked
director, but in prison. Oh, no. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, it was the last one,
right? But there we go. So that's what coming
up. And don't forget substance.
Go watch the substance, everyone, please. I'll remind
you again at the end. Right, Gav? I'm going to do some housekeeping and then
we can say our goodbyes. We are
the podcast on Haunted Hill. Thank you, everybody, for listening to episode
164. As we have been for the last almost eleven
years now in a couple of months, believe it or not,
we have all of always been a proud member of Legion podcast network. And we
also fall under the Deadbolt media umbrella.
You can find out more about Legion if you go and visit legionpodcasts.com,
find out more about us and all of our the other shows on our network.
We're available on podcast, on podcast,
on Facebook, the podcast on Haunted Hill. We have our own page.
Join it. It's brilliant. Especially in the month of October,
which is coming up wherever everybody starts posting about their
30 31 days that they're going to be doing.
And Legion have their own Facebook page as well. And we have
an email address which is the podcast on haunted hilloutlook.com.
you can email us, ask us questions there directly. Wherever you're listening to us
now is where you can always listen to us. We're on Spotify, YouTube, Podnife,
Podbean, the Apple app, podcast addicts, and many, many other places.
We're on Instagram. The podcast on Haunted Hill Insta and
Deadbolt is our production company, Deadbolt Media and Deadbolt
films. If you go to deadboltfilms.com, we also have a YouTube
channel and an Instagram which is just Deadbolt films, where you
can find out more about all of our short films, comic books,
features, and the other podcasts that Gav does.
Podcast the high Strangeness podcast.
The podcast on high strangeness. Yes, we're saying just
speaking spookiness and all things weird.
And we are on Patreon. So if you'd
like to become a patron, you can do so to support us.
You have to do it very quickly. The episode we just put out was
really fascinating to record. I don't know if you heard it talking about incels.
I haven't listened to it yet. It's really fascinating conversation, actually.
Oh, I'm normally on it, but I think I was busy today.
It's quite a long one, but we really just started talking about that whole side
of things. It was really interesting. I'll give it a little colors,
give it a listen tomorrow. Yes, we're on Patreon.
If you'd like to become a patron, you can do so for as little as
a pound or a dollar a month. You will get a free
t shirt in one of three colors sent to you. You'll get to
become a patron who has your patron pick. So every three episodes,
one of our patrons picks the two films we review tells us
why they love them, why they want us to review them. You also get named
at the end of each episode, which I'll do in just a second, and you
get exclusive bonus content as well as access to all
of our back catalogue through Patreon. Every freaky Friday, we drop
one of our old episodes exclusively to our patrons.
So thank you to our patrons who are Dante.
In fact, let me do, sorry, let me do these in my hammer horror voice.
Yes. So thank you to all of our patrons,
starting with, of course, Dante,
Don Coldier, Matthew Godley,
Jamie Jenkins, Kevin S.
Fife. I said that as britishly as I could.
Sarah K. Rachel,
RJ Macready, and of course,
Lex Boo. Thank you all to our patrons.
Thank you so much. By Jove.
Yes. That's the housekeeping. I just want to say,
as it's going to be October in less than a week,
just 31 days, guys.
You don't have to watch something every day. You can just watch one film,
but as long as you partake in halloweeny, spooky stuff,
whether you play a video game, listen to the thriller soundtrack,
you. Should do a series. So you watch. Doesn't matter what you do. Yeah,
it doesn't matter. Ghostbusters episodes, like the cartoon
or something. Oh, yeah. That'd be amazing. Well, I'm. I was gonna say
I'm doing. Yeah, you quite cool. I think I've got 38
universal monster films or nothing. Horror films. So I'll be
watching those. And I've. Because they're only about an hour, an hour and five minutes
each. A lot of those, I've realized I'll have a bit more spare time.
So I'm also going to watch every single episode of the Simpsons,
tree House of Horror, which I'm really excited to do because I've never done that.
So. Although I'll be doing more than 31, but I'm not going to put
them. On many of those episodes. You've not seen the Simpsons at the treehouse
ones? I've only seen one or two of them. There's 34 of them.
That's. Honestly, that's so cool because there's so many
movies, they, you know, homage.
Yeah, I can't wait. Like, I know what you did last summer,
and it's basically Ned Flanders as a werewolf did his midnight walks.
Don't they also have, like, where some of them are like this.
Shorter stories into one episode? Yeah. So it's generally like
three or four stories free episodes or so. But you get
loads of films. You'd be like, oh, this is a shining. Oh, this is conjuring
or whatever. Well, I probably won't post those up because they're only
20 minutes each, but I'll certainly post up my universals.
And you're gonna just watch favorites, aren't you? Yeah, I think so. It's very hard
when I put. I'm a weird person.
I've come to terms with this over the years. It's fine. And I'm
quite odd and strange. And if I put a
pressure on myself and I put labels and things and stuff, it becomes,
like, almost too much for me. It's a weird thing. So I'm
trying to this year just flow of it. So I figured I'll just kind of
go, I'm gonna watch that. I'm gonna watch that and let's get kind of go
like films. I might do new stuff as well. I don't know. I'll just be
watching movies. I wish I could do like you do,
but I don't know why I can't do that. But it's a lot of work
because I. I actually have sat down over a few
nights and written up a spreadsheet.
Sadly, what I'm watching and where I'm
going to be able to get these films from, whether I can stream them.
I'm on a lot of found footage. Facebook groups and someone on there put
up a whole very pretty up very nicely their
31 days of found footage. Yeah. Because I now know where I
can watch my horror movies, my universal movies. Because where
can you see? I've got a. I've got the classics on
the Blu ray boxer, which is very cheap to pick up, by the way,
people. Well, I'd say about 50% of them are on prime to
rent or stream.
There's a couple of them on YouTube. I've got
probably about ten of them on dvd.
And there's a fantastic website called
internetarchive.org and you'll
find a lot of very, very old films
and music and commercials and adverts on there
and some of these that are no longer what
you call it. You know, like when the Night of the Living Dead doesn't have.
No one owns the rights to it. What you call it, public domain.
Yeah. So a lot of older films are on there now.
So Internet archive is where. Where a lot of
the more obscure ones are available,
like House of Horrors, House of Dracula,
some of the Abbott and Costello, because I've got all the Abbott and Costello's
at the end of that run. There's like three Abbott and Costello
movies to watch as well. Yeah, they're good as well.
And then I'm ending with. I'll tell you now, I'm ending with
Van Helsing from 2004, because that is officially universal
horror film. Not Van Halen. Not Van Halen. Jump.
No jump.
So that's what I'm doing. And you're doing favourites. And it's coming up, guys.
It's really coming up. So on our Facebook page,
you're going to see a lot of activity throughout the month of October. And it's
such an exciting time. I'm really looking forward to it.
Yeah. But until then, bye,
jove. It's time for us to say good night.
Good night, all. Good night from Terence Fisher.
Thanks for listening. And good night from the creature who
lives on the moors. Indeed. Watch out for those dogs
on the. Morsh wearing masks on the morse.
Good night from tarantulas on Christopher Lee's shoulder. It's a good night from towns Fisher.
And it's a good night from Oliver Reed,
who is challenging a bar full of Navy
man seamen. Oh, my God. I'll leave you there.
Yeah. See me challenges. Good night, everybody.
Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back
again real soon.
Oh, no tears, please.
It's a.