"Opened Dawes" Podcast Ep 14: It's Not About You!

Show Notes

This is the podcast of  “Opened Dawes” Live, which runs every 1-2 weeks as a live video show on YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn so that we can throw open the doors and welcome you in for a relaxed sharing of information, tips, thoughts, and answering any questions about public speaking and presentation/communication skills you may have.

So, make sure you set the reminders for the shows on Facebook, LinkedIn or YouTube (links below) as they are scheduled online and get involved.  The stream is designed to be interactive, with comments/questions able to be shown and attributed on screen.

This week’s show looks at the benefits of making sure that we think about our audience rather than ourselves when presenting or speaking in public, which impacts elements such as your nerves, content, delivery, interaction, and more.

This show can be watched live (and previous shows recorded) from the following locations:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/OpenDawesTraining/live

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCnwlPiWylgEDLrwemI8ZZjw (or search YouTube for Open Dawes Training and click subscribe to be notified)

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-dawes-9030b724/

Thanks to:
www.opendawestraining.co.uk
www.chrisdawescomms.co.uk
www.opendawestraining.co.uk/connect

What is "Opened Dawes" Podcast?

Open Dawes Training is a public speaking, presentation and communication skills coaching company, with the key motivation of the company being to help people open doors that they may not even know exist yet, with increased confidence, willingness, and skills to present and speak in front of/with others. The podcast is taken from the live weekly "Opened Dawes" Live video show, where founder Chris Dawes dives into the key areas that make the difference with "public speaking", whether that is for those who are too nervous to do it or those who want to "up their game", whether that is for presentations, presence and participation in meetings, delivery of training, sales pitches, demonstrations, or even just communication with others in the best possible way. Chris Dawes: "My key ethos when I formed the business is that we are not, and should not be trying to create the mythical blueprint of the "perfect presenter", but unlocking each person's own personality, growing their confidence, helping them to be in control, organised, and of a quality that will make them become asked to do it more often, and no hesitation in their acceptance to do so. Apparently, public speaking is a soft skill, but it is a soft skill that gives your core skills a voice! Everyone owes it to themselves, and it is priceless to all of us that get to listen to them share their knowledge, experiences, passions, enthusiasm, and opinions. It gets them, their organisation, and their product/service recognised and appreciated, and helps us to grow and become more empowered from what they have to share."

Greetings Welcome to Opened
Dawes Live. It's Episode 14,

there was a delay a gap last
week, I've just been crazy,

crazy busy, so apologies about
that. But Episode 14, is, it's

not about you. My name is Chris
Dawes, the founder of Open Dawes

Training. And obviously, this is
based on public speaking

presentation skills, providing
training, being interviewed,

having those difficult
conversations, being involved in

meetings, whatever it might be.

And it is about making sure that
we keep it the right way around,

it's very easy to get caught up
about, oh my gosh, I'm nervous,

I'm worried about this, I'm
hoping that they like me, I'm

hoping that they understand what
I'm going to say I hope that it

goes well, for me, there's
nothing wrong with it, it's

completely understandable. It's
an immediate natural reaction.

The problem is, is that we will
impact our content, what we

share how we share it, which
means therefore, how it's going

to be received. And even
ironically, how we feel about

it, we will get more nervous, if
we're thinking about ourselves,

we will allow ourselves to
become more nervous, if we

switch it around, and we're
thinking about those that are

hearing us, those that are
receiving our information, we

end up so preoccupied by them.

That we think a lot less about
ourselves, and our nerves and

our concerns, our insecurities,
and all of those kinds of

things. And also, we won't have
as much time to get worried, we

literally would get to the end
of it and go, I forgot to be

nervous. What happened I run out
of time. We really flip it

around. Now there's a wonderful
phrase that I believe in very,

very passionate, and it applies
to all of the things I try to do

even conversations that I have
with people. And this phrases.

Most people won't remember
everything that you say. But

everyone remembers how you made
them feel. Just think about that

for a minute. Not everybody
remembers everything that you

will say the words you use the
information itself, but they

will take away and retain and
regurgitate to others how you

made them feel? Did you make
them feel motivated? Did you

make them feel quite emotional?

Did you make them feel
enlightened, empowered,

supported part of the team, you
know, any host of things. And if

you think about it, that
sentence, that phrase rings true

for all of the different areas
that we work with people on a

presentation. If I am thinking,
right, okay, I've now got to

write my content. I've got
information I need to share with

people, I'm not just going to go
dump information and regurgitate

that information, I'm actually
going to make sure that my

content takes the people that
are listening to me on a

journey. I want them to feel
things as a result of what I'm

sharing with them. So it will
impact the content itself. It

will content impact sorry that
the inflections of that content,

the delivery of that content, it
will affect how engaged I tried

to make her engaging, sorry, I
tried to make that content with

people. So instead of just going
blurb is all about me blowing

up, there's the information. If
I even, you know, put it in

context with them, you know, if
you take if I was given a

presentation about a product or
service, and I literally went my

product does this my product
does that my service enables

this. They're they're going
well done. But if I switch it

around and make it all about the
people that are there listening,

thinking, right, what what is
their business, their

organization, their problems,
their objectives, which is why

invariably, wherever possible,
if if it's if it's a one to one,

and I'm then going to present a
product or service. The opening

period is all about them all
about their business all about

their issues, their objectives,
that their requirements, because

that is then how I'm going to
enable when I'm then delivering

it. I will also be watching,
listening, taking on board as

much as I possibly can, that I
can suddenly see someone nod

smile, nudge their colleague,
clearly, that's important for

that. I'm not interested in just
rushing through my content and

just blurbing it out there. I'm
trying to see I'm trying to

acknowledge how is this
impacting my audience? What

reactions Am I getting from
them? Do I then suddenly engage?

I can, I can see that that
struck a nerve with yourself.

Where is that? How does that
resonate with you? Where have

you felt that and that they can
then bring it forward, and I can

then make it relevant, that
hopefully will get others

engaged. And so I'm able to make
that content, the core is there.

But you then go backwards or
forwards, remember, I always say

in terms of the delivery of a
presentation is you try to make

it feel like a conversation, you
know, even now, I'm not stood

here going, right, and this is
what you need to be the case.

And if you do know, I'm hoping
that you can feel it is that I'm

having a conversation with you.

And that will be determined in
the way that I'm delivering my

content, it will then the fact
that I'm looking and listening

at my audience, it's not about
me, it's about them, right, I

can now see that they're having
an effect, they haven't quite

understood it. And so it will
impact the content, the

structure, the inflections, the
interaction. And that then

suddenly sits not just for a
presentation, but if I'm

providing training, you know,
you're always analyzing Who am I

providing the training for? Is
there information I can get

beforehand, am I needing to be a
bit more sort of acknowledging

what you know, what is
happening, you know, taking on

their comments, their feedback,
and, and allowing it to impact

on my content, and my
interactions and the like,

because I want to make sure that
this audience, it could be

different levels of knowledge of
experience, or experiences. It

could be, you know, the way that
they are, are, you know, soaking

in the information I'm sharing
is something that they haven't

quite got, okay, I'm not going
to suddenly make them feel

awkward, but we're going to make
it so that we're all coming

together, you know, it, the
minute you're flipping around,

it's all about them. 100% It's
not about me desperately trying

to get this information out
there, get to the end of this

presentation and, and go and
have a coffee and let my heart

rate slow. No, it's about them.

It's not about my product, how
brilliant my product is, it's

about what it can do for them.

That phrase I said at the
beginning, most people won't

remember everything that you
say. But everyone remembers how

you made them feel. That can be
very, you know, you might go

well, that's great. If I've got
a very emotional message that

I'm about to share. Now, it
applies across the board, your

product, your service, your
training material, your

information you're about to
share in that meeting, if you

can make them suddenly go, Wow,
okay, that makes sense, that

actually makes sense of those
other bits. And if I can take

that and put, we've got the
answers all of a sudden, and

you've just suddenly made them
feel you recur. Happy,

satisfied, whatever, you know,
you are making them feel certain

things and that's what they're
going to take away. You know,

I've always said never lose to
an if you lose a competitive

situation to an inferior product
or service, because their

message was better. And yet it
happens so so often. Because in

that inferior product or
service, they've gone and made

the audience feel. I get it, you
get us that answers that problem

that enables us to achieve this
in the future. It's not

difficult. I get it. And they
get the person that's delivering

it. And suddenly that's the
route they go, you have just

gone bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk
brilliant product brilliant

product.

So does everything does this
does the other well done. It

doesn't necessarily give them
everything and it's not

something they go into take
away. Hello Nigel. Good to see

you make it you just always
think about how they're going to

receive it. I do exactly the
same when I'm when I'm

Motorsports commentating. I'm
always trying to think right,

okay, round the circuit, on the
TV, wherever it might be. I've

got youngsters that don't fully
get it and maybe have The

attention span of a goldfish.

I've got youngsters that are now
sort of becoming anoraks and

knowing all about it, and they
will be glued to it all day.

I've then got teens, I've got
adults, I've got those that know

everything. I've got those
mechanically minded, I've got

those history buffs of it
boffins. I've got those that are

just enjoying themselves a day
with their friends and family

and, you know, loving the site.

You need to sort of be able to
engage with those people. And

it's all about going right. How
do they feel? Do they feel part

of this day? Do they feel
suitably informed, but when I'm

informing I try to make sure I'm
not patronizing anybody. I said,

Tell you what, it's a real tight
rope that you're trying to sort

of make out that, okay. Look, I
know, you know, the inside out

of that car. But there are other
people here that don't, but I'm

not going to slam in your face,
I'm just going to say delivery

in a way that encompasses those
but acknowledges those that No,

it's just the for instance, that
I always tried to do even with

Motorsports compensated with my
training delivery with my

presentations, I contract to
other organizations as their,

that their sales team about to
start a new contract next week,

actually, for a company I'm very
excited to be working with. And

it is that I will be able to do
their sales presentations for

them. And I absolutely adore it.

But it will not be that of
course, I've got to know all

about the products and the
services. But the presentation

isn't all about the product.

Frankly, that product or that
service could be called

something completely different.

It might not even have a name, I
don't care. Because all I'm

interested in is my audience,
right? What do they do? How do

they do it? Why do they do it
that way? What problems are they

encountering? What objectives
are they trying to achieve?

stepping forward? Okay, let me
step back. Let me think about

this, right? I have understood
that this is the situation, this

is what you do, etc, etc. point
one, they've gone. He's

listened. He's understood, he's
shown interest in our

organization. I like it, we're
off to a good start. Okay, so

you need to overcome this
problem. Now, if we can put

something in that does x, y, and
Zed that will enable to make

sure that doesn't happen
anymore? We agreed on that.

Absolutely. Right. So I've even
they're gone. Not interested

about just regurgitating an
answer. I want them to

understand and to accept. And
they've gone. Yep, got it. That

would be utopia, surely. And
when is that even possible? Yes,

it is. Let's have a look at
this. If I then suddenly show

them whatever it is, I have
again, I don't even need to give

it a name because it could be
called Chris Dawes for like air,

it could be called pimple. Viola
care. It's not important. It is

showing them right, here you go,
look. So the moment this is what

happens. And we suddenly do
this, provide this, put that in

this in place. And you will see
that the outcome is why not x.

And so you are going to get rid
of this problem. Also, by the

way, it's going to enable you to
do that. Wow. Hang on a minute.

This is it. This is utopia.

utopia exists. they've listened.

They've got it, do it. That Tell
me tell me what it is? How am I

going to get this done? And that
is thinking about the audience.

Okay, so I'm on this training
course, because I've been told

to come on this training course.

Yeah, sure, I get what is going
to be beneficial. But you know,

let's go. Now,
how many of you been on training

courses because you've been put
on it. You know, your, your

employers have put you on it or
whatever. And you get in and all

the trainer does is just goes
right? Ready. blurb, take notes,

take notes, look at my slides,
listen to what I'm saying, bang,

bang, bang, bang, bang. That's
not them being bad. They're just

forgetting that. They're
nervous. They've got information

they need to share. But they've
forgotten that it's about my

audience, right? First things
first, right? Look, this is why

we're here. This is what this
training is about. This is how

it's going to help you this is
what it's going to do in the

future. This is the
possibilities. And this is how

I'm going to work with you
during the course of today to

help empower you with this
information with these skills.

And it is going to enable you to
have this, this and this,

whether it's this employer, or
whether it's in your personal

life or in the future, all of it
is going to empower you. Okay,

which is more interesting and
useful than I realized. And

they're now paying attention.

They're ready to listen. And
then everything thereafter for

the day is about empowering,
Enriching and enlarging their

knowledge, all of those things.

If I'm in a meeting, and I've
got information that now needs

to be shared in that meeting,
that's going to have an impact.

On the direction on, on
decisions on what has already

happened, whatever it might be.

I don't just suddenly trying to
go well, here you go. blurb,

there's the information. Okay,
well done. But determining go.

You mentioned that, in terms of
the accounts, the work that

we've done so far, it has cost
that, but it's not yet returned.

It's not returned that as was
intended, is that correct? Yes,

it is. What What I would like to
share is that where I've been

looking at everything is that if
you consider x, y, and Zed is

what we've done so far, and
you're absolutely right, it has

cost us this, we forecast it's
going to return that at the

moment, as I say, absolutely
right. It has not done that. But

what I would like to point out
is that if you look at these

inquiries, that these feedback
forms that these, whatever it

might be, what we're now seeing
is that we are now taking them

on that upward slant of the
graph. And by my reckoning, if

you look at how long it's taken
to get from there to there, I

believe that given this period
of time, we're going to have

them up here. And the the
figures that were forecast, it's

going to be later, but they're
going to be there. And if we

look at this, I genuinely feel
that he's actually gonna exceed

the figures that we've got
there. We just need that little

bit of patience. But hopefully
this paints the picture. I'm

making this up as I go. But you
compare that where I've

acknowledged the work they've
done, I've not challenged them.

I've acknowledged their right.

I've not got defensive because
right, so I haven't delivered

those figures yet. bababa. No.

Acknowledged you're absolutely
right. Let me take you and this

remembering that this is
information that they don't see,

they don't necessarily know how
to interpret. I've still not

condescended them, I've shown
them I've interpreted, I've

taken them on a journey. I've
made them feel positive about

it. I've enlightened them. We
work in as a team, we're going

to take it not just to where you
thought it would be now, but

even further, but just with that
degree of patience. Okay, I get

it. I completely get it. I could
have just gone. Well, I know we

haven't sat in reached those
figures yet. But look, we've got

the inquiries here. You need to
give us the time. It's not going

to have the same effect, is it?

I'm thinking of me, I'm thinking
that I'm feeling challenged. I'm

feeling under pressure, I feel
disappointed with the way that

they've said it. No, turn it
around. It's about whoever it

is. That is listening to the
information I'm sharing. What do

you want them to learn? What do
you want them to hear? What do

you want them to feel to say to
do next? You know, they are the

things when you are creating
whatever content you're going to

share? What do I want them to
feel? What do I want them to say

next? What do I want them to go
and do after I finished speaking

with them? What do I want them
to learn? What

do I want them to actually hear
from me, not just boom, that's

why we work a lot even on the
start. And the end of of a

presentation, for example, is
that you open it you get the

context, right? You get them on
the page with you, then you give

them the information. And then
you give a big close to enable

them to go and say to do to feel
certain things at the end of it.

It's all absolutely important.

It's not about I want them to
like me, I want it to go well

look, with all due respect. It's
not important. As I said, the

key phrase, most people won't
remember everything that you

say. But everyone remembers how
you made them feel. Take that

phrase and use it in everything
you do. And I would encourage

you wherever possible, try to do
that. Even in conversations. You

know, I work with people where
it's not about presenting or

anything like that. It's that
they are in, say management

roles or something and they've
got to have difficult

conversations. And I get it,
they're horrible. They're not as

up inside. But how do I get
control of that emotion? How do

I have those conversations?

Well, point one I would always
say is don't make it about you.

Even if they're the ones that
are in trouble. Make it about

them. What have they done? What
have they done wrong? What can

they do about it? Why should
they all of that rather than me

feeling I feel let down? I've
been abused? I've been this?

I've been that is that? No, no.

Think about your audience at all
times. So how can you make them

feel? Think about it when you're
writing it when you are

structuring it when you're
delivering it when you are

having that interaction. It's
the same as there's times by the

way, we Talk about interaction
but there can be times I've had

certain environments where you
just know if I allow and I say

allow as in allow it to flow and
brief interaction with certain

audiences, there are key
characters here that are going

to make this go in a bad
direction that are going to make

the rest of the audience feel
uncomfortable. And now think

about that. I might frustrate
one person but I'm leaving the

other 100 or the other 99 or
whatever, enjoying it, have you

ever been in a presentation
where someone's just their

interactions really quite
awkward. And the phrase I use is

I want to turn inside out well
as the presenter, we need to

make sure we're in control of
that just sort of like you know,

stop that because it could be
all too easy to go great. I've

got someone that I can bounce
off of I can interact with, are

you sure that that is is really
beneficial to the rest of your

audience? So as the phrase goes,
it's not about you. In my

training I use a phrase just
because it makes me chuckle

simple, easy to easy to laugh is
stop being narcissistic and I

say that because it sounds like
such a blunt horrible thing to

say and sure you know it's it is
but it's even like it's not

about you as the title for this
one was about grabbing your

attention it's not as brutal as
it sounds and in actual fact

it's to your is to our advantage
to just flip it around. Don't

get nervous by thinking about
I'm worried about this. I want

this I want that it's like no no
flip it around, allow it to be

about them. And you won't even
have time to be nervous about

your presentation. I think
that's all I've really got to

say on this one. I hope that was
useful whether you watch live

whether you are watching the TV
version of this back, whether

you're listening to the podcast
Don't forget you can go on all

of the podcast outlets and and
search for Opened Dawes Live or

open doors podcast sorry, or
just search for Open Dawes

Training, and you should find it
and all of the episodes this

will be up. If not today, then
probably tomorrow, and you'll be

able to listen to it throw your
headphones in and go off

wandering. The 14th episode will
be up there imminently, and so

therefore plenty to listen back
to. But if you have any

questions, comments, thoughts,
anything like that, to do with

any of the episodes that you
listen to or watch, please don't

hesitate drop us a line either
as messages on social media, or

drop me a line to Chris at open
doors,

that's da w e s training Chris
at Open Dawes training.co.uk

drop me an email anytime. If
there's any subject areas that

you think would be really useful
for yourself or for your

organization, for me to just go
into a little bit of detail.

This isn't designed to be the
detailed training of course, but

it is where we can just delve
into certain subjects a little

bit more and, and hopefully it's
very beneficial to you all sorts

of other things available on our
website, various downloads that

are there designed to help blog
posts, and tip posts, all those

kinds of things. Open Dawes
training.co.uk and if you

actually put forward slash
Connect, it will then also show

you all sorts of ways that you
can get in touch. If you wanted

a 30 day free 30 minute
consultation via video

conference to have a chat about
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your requirements, anything like
that at all, even if there's

just like one little thing you
feel we may be able to help you

with drop me a line, we can set
it up, it's not a problem. If

you go to the contact page. On
our website, you'll actually

have the ability to schedule in
a day and time to have that

conversation with myself. And of
course it goes without saying if

you want training for yourself
or for your organization, you

know, we limit our groups to a
maximum of 10 people at any one

time so that it's interactive
for a day day and a half

whatever it might be, or one to
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monthly video calls as well
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membership group. All of that is

available jump on the website.

But for now it's not about you.

I hope that's been helpful. I
hope it made sense. Think about

how you want them to feel most
people won't remember everything

you say, but everyone remembers
how you made them feel. For

myself crystals have a very good
rest of the weekend into the

weekend as well. But for now
from Opened Dawes Live G's for

now.