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Auntie Talk is a bold, funny, unfiltered conversation space where two best friends from different cultures, tackle literally everything from the trenches of real life to the headlines of the moment. It’s where the wisdom of 46 years meets the humor of “we’re still figuring things out.” This is for those who love real talk, culture, relationships, dating and some belly laughs while sipping wine, iced coffee, or a strong cocktail!
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Here we go.
I need a more. .
I'm getting out on my ner.
I'm gonna do that. .
Hey, what's up, everybody?
You know what day it is.
It's time for Auntie Talk.
And I'm Cher.
And I'm Jennifer.
And we are your favorite.
Auntie.
We are. Often imitated.
Never duplicated.
No husbands.
No children.
And no filter.
Let's get into it.
So, fellas, shout out to our 55 and Upf. Fellas that slid right on in and let it be known off of the other topic that can men have an active sex life after 55.
We got eight up.
So many of y'all.
Not really that one to let us, like.
They wanted to let us know.
They have no problems in that area.
Because we had questions.
We did.
And, you know, so shout out to you 55 and up men that say they' ready to go.
They don't have no. Issues in the area.
It was so funny.
I'm so bad.
Bing, bing, bing, bing, me .
Like, what?
Don't be questioning us.
We don't have no issues.
How far did that mean y'all take care of your health?
How far are y'all?
Kudos to our 55 and up that are not having any issues in the bedroom.
We needed to know.
We wanted to make sure we had something to look forward to.
That increased my age then.
It did for the convenience..
Exactly.
So, yeah, they let us know that they don't don't worry about them.
We need to keep keep ourselves keep it tight, keep it right.
There we go. Is what they wanted to make sure we understood.
Shout out to y'all.
Thank y'all for letting us know that.
Tia of the week, though.
If you have been living under a rock, you have not seen the crash.
Oh, man.
On Netflix.
So good.
With McKenzie Sha, whatever her name is.
Sharia, Share.
Whatever..
The devil.
Yes.
Diabolical.
Diabolical.
In Vincent's words.
He is diabolic.
Like, scary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The way she slid in on the end and for the interview.
Yeah.
Did I answer that?
Was I doing too much?
Yes.
Because I don't want to do too much.
I don't want to do too much.
Girl.
Everything with her is so calculated.
Yes.
So.
So if you compare the, okay, so you watch both of them.
If you compare the one on Netflix and then the one on Hulu.
Yes.
So Hulu had the original back in 2024 and it it was under the umbrella of shows of Mean Girls.
So it wasn't necessarily just about the crash.
It was more about Mean Girl who didn't turn out to do stupid, crazy stuff.
And so they really depicted her as who she truly was.
Right.
I feel like Netflix kind of did a good job of like telling a story about the crash and you still felt like she was , I still felt like she was guilty.
I never, at once, at any time thought the girl did it on accident.
Never.
No.
Not, no.
Because even with that Potts, she said she had, if you passed out, how did you stay on it Thank you.
How did you accelerate?
Yeah.
Not come off the gas?
Yeah.
So I didn't feel any type of way about her being innocent.
No.
But they did try to try to kind of tell a story like she was a good girl., a good person , whatever, but Hulu, baby, they laid into her.
They did.
And all the people they interviewed laid into her.
And so I was like, okay, this is this is more accurate of who she really was.
The one thing I did like that Netflix did do, though, was they gave, they put more emphasis on the lives of, of the boys.
Yes.
And I feel like that there was a lot missing in that.
And I do think that, uh, and I felt so bad for that sister because she was just like, I mean, she was just like, and he's more than like cargo in the backse.
Yeah.
Because he was basically for real, like collateral damage.
I feel like.
Well, the way the mom read the letter, oh, man.
It's sentencing.
She's pretty much disregarded .
Oh, what was his name?
Davon.
Davion.
See?
I was going to say Dom.
But I was going to say disregarded Dom because that's all you can think about is Dom.
That's it.
But yeah, she pretty much disappearedregarded Davion the whole time and I felt like, damn, like that was kind of.
It was awful.
And everybody kind of made it seem like it was just about Dom and McKenzie..
But the poor guy in the bag.
Oh, man.
Davon, I feel so bad and I felt bad for his parents.
Yes.
The mom clearly didn't even want to do an interview.
No.
The dad was very, to me, , emotional and such a sweet man.
Such a sweet a And adamant about justice for his child.
Yes.
And I feel like I'm so glad because I don't think that it would have been pursued if it wouldn't have been for I agree.
And then for the mom of Dom .
The reaction of the mom of Dom's mom when they told her.
So if you haven't, they didn't show a lot on Netflix about that or Hulu, but if you go and if you're on Instagram or not under a rock, you see all the, you know, videos of, and when the police notified Don's mom, it was so It was gun wrenching.
Yeah, it was.
It was, it was really hard to watch, but at the end of the day, the conclusion, the interviews, I mean, the, the recordings of her on the phone with her mom from jail.
Because that mom is sick, too.
The mom is sick, too.
Oh, yeah.
They're talking about you.
You're going viral.
In UK and England.
Yeah. And all that.
Kim Kardashian.
Oh, I guess maybe she can come rescue me or whatever and all those things.
Like it was.
It was I was really disgusted.
But do you really, can you, do you know , like how she felt like, okay, what do you think?
Because how do you think she did not die without, I mean, oh, by the grace of God..
Literally. She was wanting, like she was okay to go with a suicide thing, like where she was going to.
Well, it's a lot of that going on, but the thing is , whatever she did, because they said she did run-throughs a couple of times.
Oh, that's true.
So whatever she did, she must have known, because they said the impact was so great on the passenger side.
Right.
So something she did or it was calculatedated, something she knew that if she focused or hid it at a certain angle or did whatever, she probably would not.
I mean, because to me, but when they said she was faceaced that, I don't know.
I don't know.
They wasn't number the Grace guy, but I feel like she knew to make sure the impact was going to be on their side was on their side.
Can you imagine what was going on in that car?
That's the gutried about it as well.
Like, I couldn't even imagine the seconds before that.
Did they not have enough time to knock her out?
Like, knock her in her head?
I don't know.
Like I hit.
Like, jump on.
Well, the flight jerk of the wheel, remember?
Uh-huh.
And they're thinking that it was one of them, Davion or a slight jerk on the wheel to try to like maybe , um, you know..
But I guess when she even started the speeding at first, like, and you saw that what she was doing and y'all are hollering like, whatever, stops, punch her in the face.
Knock her out.
Get her over the head.
Choke her.
I don't care.
Something.
Do something.
I mean, I know they were going fast, but was it not enough time to do something?
Unless they were asleep .
Oh, maybe No, but it once you start speeding?
Once somebody start going 100 miles, I guess not, I guess they were high.
You're right.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
And plus, I, yeah, because if I'm going fast, then we're heading down the highway. Ain't nobody.
Everybody sleep.
Yeah.
And Oh, my God.
So yeah.
It's awful.
So it was terrible.
It was terrible.
So if you're under rock , um, she deserves every life sent she gets, she should not ever be released.
She's doing sugar babies.
She's online as a sugar baby from jail, from prison.
These people are crying.
Yeah, she staying on social media.
They stay for prison.
She got her all like making money.
And all she kept talking about was her commentary.
I was just disgusting with her.
She disgustgusting.
Like, but you know what it reminds me of ?
The same thing with Frankie.
I mean, Taylor Paul, whatever her name is.
Mormon Wise.
Like, it's these privileged, young white girls that feel like they can do whatever and act however they want to and there's no repercussion.
Absolutely.
And they just feel like entitled.
Like, how dare y'all sentence me?
How dare you come after me?
Do you see what they're like, they have this , it just disgusts me.
It really irritates me the disregard for light, human life in her.
And even that she was on Instagram, like, like shortly after that, accepting like brand deals and stuff like that from that thing.
I was just like.
And going to parties after the day.
Oh, man.
Halloween.
And doing the corpses.
The corpse, yeah.
She was just disgusting.
Just, But that's what it really reminds me of.
It's like they feel, it's almost like, and we all know it.
We know it to be true.
You kind of get, they thought they were going to get away with it.
Oh, 100.
They feel like they should get away with it.
Like, how dare you come after me and think I need to be in prison or jail?
I don't know.
It disgusts me, but yeah, so if you haven't lived, if you haven't watched that, go watch that because kids, those toxic abusive relationships get out of for men and women, boys and girls .
Get out.
And get out before it gets to that point because Don was actually trying to get out.
Yeah.
Don was trying to get out.
He did a lot of recording.
It's almost like he knew He did what was coming.
So, yeah, it was good.
But yeah, she deserves to write in that prison sale that she's in.
100%.
And y'all stopped giving her that, even though we just gave her a little air time.
But that's because we need to talk about that.
Whatever.
Negative.
Right.
Other tea of the week, though.
Jackson Dart.
Jackson Dart, the quarterback for the New York Giants.
And him going on to introduce Trump.
I sent you the video.
You did?
Yeah, to introduce Trump and the way he was like, go, big blue, blah, blah, blah, blah, disregard for.
And then Boomer Sayin disgusting me with his response.
So Jackson Dart did what he did.
He introduced Trump.
He was like, oh, Trump, blah, blah.
This is my thing.
And I want people to hear us and hear us clearly.
And when I say us, I mean hear black people.
It is not necessarily about, yes, you can have your views and choose what you want to choose.
But all we ask is black people, is love black people like you love black culture.
Man.
And it's okay for you you, Jackson Dart, to stanky leg in the end zone when you score to do every dance you see, the gritty, everything.
And you love black culture.
You love hip hop.
You love everything.
You want to wear your chains.
You're so swagged out, so , so cultured or whatever.
You're so anti- hip hop.
But when it comes to supporting us, if you truly love black people, why is that okay?
He's a racist.
I don't care what anybody says.
Trump is a racist.
So to your teammates who made a comment on Twitter, like, what are we doing, bro?
Like, you know, we're, we're a team.
We're a brotherhood in the locker room, like, support me.
Support my culture.
Don't just love it when it's convenient.
So someone checked him about that?
One of his teammates went on Twitter and was like, what, what are we doing?
Like, what are you doing?
And they ended up having some type of talk in the locker room, Kumbaya, but Buma Syson was like, how dare that the teammate say anything ?
Boomer Syson is a retired NFL player too quarterback.
And I used to love him What is, is he white?
Of course?
Of course.
And so he was like, how dare the other teammate, the black guy, say, what are we doing?
Like, how dare you question this?
You need to be worried about this and worry about that.
And, you know, more focused on, like , basically taking the whole blame, shifting the whole narrative off of Jackson Dark onto the black athlete.
And I just felt like we as we as black people understand where where he was coming from.
Like, that would honestly be like, to me, you going, up, Trump, Trump, Trump, but your best friend black.
Like, you know, in any given moment, like that he is white's supremacy.
Like, so at any given moment, something could happen to me, me, my family, you know, or if, and if people don't believe in it, if they don't feel that type of way , or, you know, don't, whatever, what about the people you love?
If it may not impact your life.
Your everyday life.
But what about the people you love and how it could it impact their lives?
Right.
And so I, that's to me where the teammate was coming from.
That is what he was trying to say.
Like, dude, I get it. , uh, what, you know, that you wanted to go introduce Trump or you were invited to introduce Trump, but, you know, be respectful.
Be momful.
I just felt like it was I felt like it was shitty.
I agree 100% with that because I think that even if you, I guess Awesome.
Hold on, Corey.
Okay.
That's because I moved.
Oh, yeah.
I guess my, my thing is with the whole thing is how does that work with you supporting .
You got to resay that again.
Corey, you got to cut that' because the lights keep coming on.
All right Why are they coming on?
Because I moved.
Oh, like drastically.
Okay.
I guess my question is, like, how do we arrive at the point, like right now?
I guess he still has like a bunch of supporters or whatever, but like, how do we arrive at the point of like still supporting him??
Well, it's funny you said that because, you know, we just had the election, the mid, the election for who's going to run in the primaries in November.
And so Paxton, it was between Paxton and Cornyn and Trump, right before Tuesday. Um endorsed Paxton.
Well, you see he won by a landslot.
So.
Paxton did?
Yeah.
Because Trump endorsed him.
Like Trump said that's who he's supporting.
So he won by a landslide here in Texas, right?
So that, to me, says a lot to a lot of people, it says a lot because they may say they don't support them and they say they don't like the men.
His popular vote is down, but somebody' supporting them.
Somebody's supporting it.
And they don't they want to see whatever ..
Yeah, I know.
So That's interesting to me.
And I also agree with what you said too, about even if it doesn't affect you personally, which, let's be very clear, he's affecting my whole life.
I mean Right.
Even if I'm white or whatever.
I's 100% affecting my whole life.
So I don't want to be very, I want to be very clear about that. .
But let's just say that it wasn't, right?
I 100% agree with you on if it affects your loved ones, then let's figure out like how to support our loved ones, right?
Um, that's that selfless thing that we're talking about.
But he is affecting my whole life.
Like, I mean, so, um, but I, I definitely agree with you.
That's why I always say, what are we doing?
What are we doing?
Because I know that I don't, I'm not as heavy into politics as you are, right?
I would 100%.
I ask a lot of questions.
Right.
It's true.
Our engineer knows that, right?
Like we had a whole thing about it.
I'm very inquisitive.
I also, I want to know all sides.
I want to know all the things.
Right.
But if it did come down to choosing, if I'm not educated about it, I'm going to go with what affects my family and my, my people.
So basically humanity over economics.
Absolutely.
Because it was vice versa when it came time to vote him in the office.s It was more economics.
Yeah. Versus humanity.
Can we look at our economy?
Well, that's clearly. .
That's a whole nother issue, right?
And we can say that we're trying to save our country by going to war.
We're trying to do all the things or whatever, but this is not, this is not how this was mapped out, right?
Right.
This is not what that's happening.
But, so I agree with that.
I think that, and I also don't think that you should , I disagree with him, what they say, being at the cookout.
Right.
And then you go over there and then you do that.
When, when it comes to anything, now, another topic to discuss is the people of color who do support him, though.
You know what I?
Because there is, there is a lot of of individuals that are like that..
And that's somewhat confusing to me as well.
Right.
But either, anywho, 100% agree with, that's just my thing.
All of that.
That's my thing.
Ply said it best.
A lot of people said it best as far when it comes to just..
The double standard?
Yeah.
And again, love us, us, love us as much as you love the culture.
I mean, a lot of y'all want to love the dances, the music, the, you know, the culture, the clothes, the everything, but you're just us as a people.
Right.
You know, like truly love us and truly support us.
And if you did, if you stoodood with us, you would stand against racism.
And racism on all levels, so many levels, you would stand against a pedophile.
I mean, if you for anything else, not for nothing.
He's ped pedophile.
So, I mean, like, stand against that.
I mean, it's just , I don't know.
That kind of stuff bothers me.
So when I saw it, I was like, because I now, all right, because I'm a football fan, right?
I ain't gonna lie.
I was like, oh, I like Jackson Dart before with Cam Scatteraboo and their whole little thing or whatever.
I like the vibe, you know, their whole little thing, you know, the quarterback run.
I thought they were gonna be dope.
And I'm a cowboy fan, but I still , that, though.
I was like, yeah, no. Perfect example of what we talk about is that you'll be in our face and then, oh, it's another video I wanted to see.
I'm seeing in the other video where that it was a white guy, I think it was in Tennessee and he was like in his car going off on somebody , road rage and he was saying racial slurs. And somebody across from him was holding the camera like in another car.
And when he realized they were recording, after he said all those racial slurs, he leaned his seat back in the car like, oh, shit, like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On camera.
That's the thing.
You in our face and around us, you love us, but behind the scenes, where you think ain't nobody looking , you calling the N word, you're doing the same thing.
So those are are the types of things that...
And my question with that, and I've always talked to you about this, too, you know how I feel about that.
I know.
Because why can you not just say, you're a bitch?
You do say.
I said that all the time.
And in my mind, I'm like,, why do we have to, why, why?
Why does it have to have the adjective?
Why?
Your was always like, why does that be, you black bitch?
Just be a bitch.
You white bitch.
Just be a bitch..
Like, why do you have to have the description for us to go with you?
Why?
Why?
I Answer that for me, please.
Because I want to know that to me.
And because that's a big thing for me..
Just if I'm a bitch, just be it, just be a bitch.
That's it.
And if you are, just be a bitch.
That's it.
But not that black bitch.
Why?
Or when they really get mad and, oh, you know the one, you ghetto bitch.
Oh, my God.
Why are we ghetto now?
Because of black.
You ghetto.
So when you're mad, you ghetto bitch.
And ghetto is not even a term for black people.
Google the word g ghetto.
And so why that is that is even.
That's their term.
That's derogatory.
It's their term.
That's what they go to.
You know, you were , you were on the phone when they girl did, you ghetto, black.
Why?
First of all. A bitch.
Just call me a bitch.
That's it.
Maybe I am that day.
That day.
And I was being one because you were one first.
Exactly.
So I'm you started, I'm going to finish you.
And that god damn's. What I did.
Things like that drive me in sense.
Jennifer has been, you have said that forever.
Years.
Because I've been guilty of that.
And I talked to you about that.
Why do you have to use, why do we have to have additional adjectives?
Just holler holler word?
That's it.
Yeah.
I have.
I have.
And you've gotten a lot better about that.
I five.
Yes.
I try. .
But I'm racist to everybody.
You are, No, I don't discriminate.
You do.
But I still When black people are doing black people's shit, I sent you that video with that lady.
That, it was hilarious.
Oh my God.
Oh, when white people doing white people.
Whatever.
Yes.
I say what I got to say.ppacist.
I am absolutely.
Absolutely.
But Because when you're doing stupid shoes, just doing stupid shit.
And it irritates me. Stupidupidity irritates me.
There's levels of racism.
It's levels, yeah.
And I love people hurt anyone.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
And I tru love people, but when they're just doing stupid shit, I'm just like, you know, you're doing stupid shit.
For sure.
So, but yeah, so that is my thing.
I just had to get on that.
You know, I was thoroughly disgusted by it.
Yeah.
So no longer Jackson Dart fan, no longer.
And I'm pretty sure , I, yeah, I'm pretty sure the other one is like that too on his team.
So I am no longer back to the Cowboys, even though everybody could be like, where about Jer junk?
You's racist?
Oh, God, yeah.
Oh, man, really?
Yeah, well, yeah.
I wish I would have never known that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even though I wasn't like the.
Because Jerry didn't like when Colin Kaepernick did Neil and did all this stuff.
He had it, yeah.
So, you know, it is what it is.
But that was one thing because at least Jerry, after stanking leg and doing all that little extra stuff acting like he's so hip.
He's very, very white.
Yeah.
So, anyhow, um see this till the week.
Anyways, let's get into it.
Our topic for today.
So, gentlemen, this is for you all, okay?
Because we always , the stigma around happy wife, happy life, we've got to deaden it.
And everybody, that's that's thatppopular opinion that people are going to not agree with us on.
But today, we don't give a damn.
We have talked to every time.
We have talked to so many men.
And just recently, we had like this, I had this really in-depth Jennifer wasn't there, but I came back and told her about it.
And it was so funny because somebody else had the exact same conversation with her.
And so it's like when we started talking about it, but men struggling right now in marriages and relationships where they feel like they are not seen, they feel like they are simply ATMs.
Yes.
They feel like they are just there to provide and ensure that their money is made, the bills are paid , but they do not feel that genuine love and appreciation.
They feel like the kids treat them like ATM.
The wife treats them like an ATM.
The conversation that I had and was a really close, dear friend person that I've known forever .
Um, literally was just talking about, um, the hurt that he feels.
Um, and feeling like a shell of himself in his, in the marriage that he was in for 20 plus years and just feeling like, um, you know, he had no voice.
Feeling like his happiness did not matter.
Right.
As long as he provided and that wife had everything she wanted and needed and the kids had everything they wanted and needed, he felt like , you know, what's the point of me being here?
And that's a common theme of men feeling like they don't deserve happiness.
Yes.
That's that's a plug.
I just needed to say that.
Yeah.
And I don't think that's fair.
So I think it kind of goes to what we've been taught or what, I mean, I'm, everybody may not have been taught there, but I know I've always heard that for a long time.
Happy wife, happy life.
And I just feel like, again, we say, with times things have changed, I feel like it's somebody everybody in the relationship being happy.
Both parties need to be happy.
You can be whole people that come together and become one.
Absolutely.
Right?
I can be happy here in my everyday life as a single person and I can meet this man and he be happy as a single person.
Then we come together and we become one and we get married and we love each other and all that good stuff.
But I also cannot be the reason for that drains him.
I don't want to drain him.
I don't want him to feel like he's just there to provide for me.
And it's just about his money or it's just about his safety or whatever.
I want him to feel like he's happy with me.
Am I'm making you happy?
That's important to me.
I know me and you, we come from the era of Destiny's Child.
Yes.
Let me cater to you. Baby.
Baby, that was, you know, that's what we.
And we were excited.
We were excited, baby. 't wait to take care of my men..
Cater to you.
That That was like, you know, I cook your dinner.
Is that so much?
And dance on you?
Yes.
Anything you want, I want to cater to.
That was what we, that's that's all I knew.
Right?
So that's how I feel like , you know, I want to operate in my relationship and I have operated in my relationship.
Now, have I always been perfect?
No, I do know that there have been times where I've been in relationships where I feel like I emasculated the man that I was with.
That's because I lost respect.
And not saying it's his fault, but when I lose respect, I do know that my mouth can be, you know, and I used to be.
I've I've grown past that, right?
But That's why they say respect for a man even comes before love.
Absolutely.
The man.
And I believe that..
100%.
And you know what?
In addition to the respect, appreciation.
Oh, man, appreciation.
A man wants to feel appreciated.
And tired.
Yeah.
And desireired.
I think that's what people miss more.
I think that, yeah, I think women are catching on to, let me respect them.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me appreciate them.
Okay.
Women, ladies, they want to be desired.
Yeah.
And that's another reason why I can't be with someone I'm not attracted to.
Yeah.
Because I want, I want to desire you.
Absolutely.
But, um, so yeah, I just kind of want to talk about that.
What you've heard it from a different perspective because you you've heard another friend of our.
I mean, literally y'all, we are not making this up..
We have so many friends that are in these situations that are either married, divorcedorced, recently divorced, going through divorces, going through separations, whatever, and they are screaming out for help.
So what are you hearing?
Because I know you, you get an earful.
So what are you hearing from your perspective?
The same things.
I want to say, though, that instead of happy wife, happy life, that it needs to be changed, that other saying, happy spouse, happy house.
For sure..
Because I think that it does go both ways.
But definitely hearing the exact same thing.
And it's like, it's, it's definitely , common.
And I think that upon starting this, we are creating a safe space.
So shout out to the people who actually feel like we are the safe space and that we don't put John blast and feeling like that you feel like you can vent because, you know, there's a couple of people that actually feel super comfortable talking to us.
And I think that that's that's good because men also need an outlet And it doesn't and talk to the boys, sometimes it's just not the same.
They need that soft space where they're able to be vulnerable and express things without it being where they got to be, you know, rah, r, rah, you know, with their guys or whatever.
And without the guys telling them , well, fuck her, go find somebody that kind of stuff..
It can't be like that.
No, 100%.
Unfortunately, sometimes that's what the homeboys do.
Yes.
And, I mean, I just recently had to tell one of them, like, um, do you know that you do deserve to be happy?
Yes.
You do know that, right?
Yeah.
Like, it's not all about just you making other people.
And I told him, I was like, for years, that's all you've ever done is you've made these people happy.
These people happy.
You' kids happy, your wife happy, you're family happy.
You're, you know, you have attempted to do that and you have told me over the years that your happiness does not matter.
Like, you're not here to be happy.
You're here to do this.
You're here.
And, you know, people turning into the Bible or they turning into other things, right?
That, that, um, that they feel like is important.
But it's not the men deserve to be happy as well.
Same way we want..
I want my guy to walk in and be like, oh, you look so good today.
Like, you look so cute today.
Well, that's the same thing that I can't wait to do to my guy.
Like, I can't wait to say, that beard is looking so sexy.
Looking good, baby.
Oh, you got that haircutcut.
You hair .
You know, like if they bald, your hair shining.
What I don't know.
Absolutely..
Or have you lost a little bit of that dad b??
Well, no, I like that dad.
I do too.
No, they't they want to gone.
But, they, you know, they deserve to be complimented.
They deserve to be desired the same way that you want them to desire you.
And I feel like physical touch is top three, right?
Oh, yeah.
In physical touch encompasses so many things.
Yeah Intimacy, touch.
I mean, as I'm in the kitchen cooking, you walking by, touching, everything.
Those things are so important.
So we have to do the same thing for our our men as well.
They don't want to just be looked at.
Like they're just bringing home a paycheck.
They want to be.
And everybody got their hand out.
Yes.
And they paying for this, that, everything.
And that Nobody's saying thank you.
No.
It's expected.
Yes.
I mean, and then , then, let's take it a step further.
The ones that do decide to leave, you or him, whatever.
And y'all's relationshide to leave.
And then why are we weaponizing the children?
Oh, my gosh.
That's a whole nother time.
It's me.
Like, I'm so , it disgusts me the way that people weaponize the children.
And it's so sad.
It's so sad.
Because if you have a good man that wants, that is a great father, never mind the fact that y'all don't work out.
Right.
Never mind the fact fact that he may not want to be with you.
You don't want to be with him .
That's grown people businesses.
My grandmom used to say.
The grown that's grown people business.
Okay?
Let the grown people business stay the grown.
That's.
We were raised that way.
Yes.
When grown folks talking, you get out the room.
You leave.
So that's how we were raised.
So grown people business, me and your dad, me and your mom, whatever, we are no longer together , we're separating.
Whatever happened to make it to come to that point is not the children's business.
So when you separate and you go, you're separate ways, then don't taint how the children view their father.
Yeah.
That, and I can speak from experience because my mom and my dad, my biological dad were divorced.
So I'm speaking from experience.
My mom never once said anything bad about my dad.
She always would say, well, you'll learn on your own.
Yes.
You'll learn on your own.
And we went over there on our given every other weekend, holidays, whatever .
At 14, I call myself running away.
I'm going to stay with my daddy because I'm going to stay.
And hey, that didn't work out.
Shout out to my cousin Joawanna.
You know why that didn't work out.
But that just didn't work out.
But my mom just was like, you'll learn on your own.
Yeah.
And as I got older and nothing, I never, I'm not going to even talk bad about my daddy because rest in peace, my daddy passed in 2024.
Rest in peace.
But I learned on my own what my mom was talking about.
She didn't have to tell me anything.
As you should have.
As I should have.
And that's the way more relationships, more separations, more things should be.
Absolutely.
Stop putting it in.
And I can speak from this too, because I have a family member of my own close to me that.
I ain't going to even say, but um his ex-wife, like the kids started blocking, started blocking them.
And you know, and it's like, and it bothered me because that's like, he's a great dad.
Like, he's always been a great dad.
He's always, so why do you say things that make the kids not like their dad anymore?
Do you know what you're doing to the fucking?
Right.
Yeah.
You're creating a space for them to have unhealthy relationships in the future.
Because if you know women and if you see the relationship, the stat statistics show if a daughter has a healthy relationship with her father, she is going to in turn have a healthy relationship with her partner.
Yes.
It's just, it's just, it's just numbers.
It's just stat.
It's just what it is.
It's reality, it's facts.
All those things.
So why would you create that for them?
So then they're going to turn around and have an unhealthy relationship with their future spouse or future person?
Exactly.
And to me, they're so bitter.
It's like y'all are so bitter.
Just let it go.
If it didn't work out, just let it go.
And this is the question too.
This is the question.
I want people to go into the comics and answer this question because this is another question.
Do you feel like when, do you feel like just because you held somebody down, just because you rode for them as you, as they became who they became or as they accomplished whatever, dream, whatever goal, that they owe you to stay with you?
Do you feel like they're obligated?
Again, I'm going to speak from experience.
It's been plenty of nigga out of hell down.
Plenty.
Plenty out of hell down .
But when the time was up, I packed my shit and I got out of there.
You owe me nothing.
You don't owe me nothing.
I don't owe you nothing.
You don't owe me nothing.
I was told when one of them went to prison and I stood by his side for them three years, I was supposed to do that.
You eating what you were supposed to do.
No, I wasn't supposed to do it.
But I did it.
But when he came out and it didn't work out, you don't owe me nothing.
We're still I'm cool with everybody to this day.
Why is it that people and we hear it a lot more from certain women that the man owes them something?
No, that's just, hey, that was y's season.
That was y's season.
That was your choice.
Nobody told you you had to be in that.
No.
So why do you feel like they owe you?
And there's two choices that you have.
You, in the meantime, especially if you have someone that is providing and taking care of the household, if you are not doing your own d diligence to make sure that you were okay if things ever ended, take that with what you will, however you want to spend that, that is on you.
That is a you problem.
That is not a hem problem..
But if you have a man, and this is speaking from a woman who, that's all I know how to do is go hustle and just try to get it and try to figure it out.
So if you're not taking care of yourself in that relationship with a man who provides and takes care of everything , you're bad, right.
You're bad.
You didn' spend that time getting yourself together, getting your money up, or doing certain things to make sure you were equipped.
Yes.
To be able to just in case.
And I' not saying, we're, you know, expecting, you know, divorce or expecting anything to happen, but you, you, you, well, even if they're not , what if they get sick?
Absolutely.
It don't even have to be them just leaving.
What if their health?
Yes.
Are you capable?
Are you able?
Are you equipped?
Have you prepared yourself?
What have you done to ensure you can step into that role?
Maybe not as well as they have, maybe not to the extent that the husband has.
But what are you doing as a woman to ensure that, yeah.
Like, so I and I also don't believe with, I don't, and you know my views on this, I feel like , and this is probably speaking from a place of always having to do it on your own.
Right.
Right.
But, I don't think that the man should take care of the woman.
I think the man should take care of the children.
What do you mean?
Like when a woman, if if there is.
Oh, when they separate.
Okay..
I don't think that it is the that man's duty to continue to carry you as that, he takes care of the child in whatever capacity, whatever that looks like, you take care of the child and or I'm also a firm believer in 50-50 custody.
Oh, that's the next thing.
That needs to, what are we doing?
Yeah. 50-50 custody, so we don't have to worry about all that.
You get them one week on, one week.
I mean, I get it.
People are say, oh, that's not stability .
But, I mean, I, hey, I've seen it done.
I've seen some phenomenal co-parenting.
I think co-parenting that goes so well is the most healthy st.
Because guess what they get to see?
Two parents in happy situations, whether that parent went on and got married and that parent got married or whether that parent's single, they see two happy parents.
Absolutely.
However that looks, they see happy.
They see two parents at the stable or whatever .
And then they come together at the games, they sitting together and they high- five and then I love it when I see those that have remarried and then both couples are there and they're all supporting and it's got, it's got dad, mom, bonus mom, bonus dad.
I mean, like the whole crew, the families.
I mean, to me, that's so dope.
Yes.
That's so healthy.
Yes.
Healthy co-parenting.
What happened to it?
Like what?
And for all the people that are going to come for us for not having, they going toy.
Yeah.
So for all of those people that are going to come for us for this , our background is you have no idea how many years we've worked with so many children and so many things.
We get the side of your kids that you don't get.
Absolutely.
We get the truth.
We get the facts.
We get everything on our side.
So we are, we can speak to this for all of the ones who are going to come come for us.
Because they are.
For sure..
We see them when they get to school.
Absolutely.
When they get to school, how they act, how they act out.
Yeah.
Because they've seen y'all fighting, arguing, cussing, everything at home.
Yep.
And, and y'all think it's, oh, I'm going to stay in the house.
I got to be in the house.
I can't have a broken home. Got to be in the house going to be in half house .
And all they see is fighting, cussing, misery, miserable.
What do you think that is teaching your child?
What do you think they do when they get to school?
Yeah.
What do you think?
Do you think those little boys are cussing fighting older girls?
Because they see their daddy cussing, fighting, and hitting on their mama?
We see it.
Do you not think that little girls are not in there fighting for their life?
Because that's what they see at home.
Absolutely.
Cussing people out. Because it's like, y'all, what you do at home , they is a mirror.
This is what they do at the school.
This is how how they grow and live.
Absolutely.
Exactly what they see is what they become.
They're like sponges.
Yes.
They soak it up.
And they talk to us very candly and very openly and very.
Like, so that, that's, it's just, it's just promoting ongoing.
You're right.
And people will say that.
People, people are going to like, y'all don't have no kids.
You don't know what you're talking about.
First of all, I'm a product of a divorce.
So, I mean, I know.
I'm a product and I think I'm doing great.
And I'm a product of a househ Forever.
So we can talk about that too.
To talk about that too.
Yeah. What I mean?
So we're, I mean, so what?
Just because we don't actually have the children, we've seen it.
We're the ones on the outside looking in and we see the impact we see that y'all unhealthy relationships do and have on these children.
We see how they act.
We see how they grow up and we see what they grow up doing.
And then there's the stigma that I know a lot of black men live with is that a black man tearing up another home, a black man leaving a home, a black man creating another broken home.
Hey, black man, it's okay.
Healthy co-parenting.
Stop.
Don't live with that stigma.
It's okay for you all to sit down as true adults and say, you know what?
This is not working.
This is not working.
How can we raise these kids?
How can we be grateful for these kids?
How can we do the 50-50 custody?
So, yeah, we may not be in the same home , but guess what?
I'm here.
They come to Daddy's house.
It's a great home here. Going to Mama's has a great home here.
We're healthy, co- parenting.
And we're raising healthy, beautiful children.
My cousin, Joanna, raised two phenomenal daughters with no help either. Of the fathers.
True, beautiful, I mean, spiritual, love the Lord.
Love the Lord, great kids, college.
One's an entrepreneur now.
One's head at Jackson.
State to play volleyball.
Like, come on, y'all.
You can do it.
Abs. You can do it.
And do I think that these young boys and girls need a man, need their father?
For sure?
Absolutely.
100%.
Stop putting them out of their lives with your bitterness.
Yeah.
Stop doing that because they do need a man.
When boys get to a certain age, they need to go be around a man.
So they stop walking around here, acting like their mama.
Yeah, absolutely.
So kicking the,ing the man out of the, you know, out of the situation , kicking the man out of the, um, you know, the parenting is, it's toxic.
No.umber one.
Yeah.
And it is you're standing.rimental.
There we go.
That's the word.
It's detrimental.
It is truly detrimental to, you know, creating strong men , strong men.
And if you don't have a man in your life, if the man is not around, he's locked up, dead, whatever, get mentors.
Get some strong mentors in your life, you know, uncles, uh, brothers or whatever.
I don't know, grandfathers.
But get strong men in your lives to help .
You, if you don't have a village.
Oh, man, it's my thing.
If you don't have a village to help you with your kids, that it's time to self-reflect..
Because what bridges have you burnt to where they do not, nobody wants to help you.
Right.
What bridges have you burned where you cannot find help?
Right.
So, I mean, that's just, that, this, that's my.
And how much have you learned just with your bonus dad as far as what is required in a healthy relationship?
Like, how much have you learned even just over the last 10 years of things that you see that you're like, oh , this is actually healthy.
Yeah.
Like, this is good.
So what I will say, just to speak on that, because I have had two bonus dads, right?
My first bonus dad, was with my mom, they were married 17 years, I think 17 years.
And he was great to me.
He was, you know, my sister, maybe not so much, but he was great to me .
So, um, I do, I do, I did and do have a healthy relationship with him.
And then my bonus dad now, who's been my bonus dad for 26 years, my mom has been married to him for 26 years.
When I say Papa is the, Papa has taught me so much.
Papa taught me how to love myself, how to, you know, what a man is supposed to do and be as an adult woman, me to see that, yeah, my first moment his dad was like if I was young, I was a child, you know, right?
So I saw him be my coach in sports and do all of those types of things.
And so he was great.
And then my bonus dad, like, I mean, he's helped me grow spiritually.
He has poured into me, my sister, my mom, I mean, he's just, he is truly a man.
And so I think bonus parents can be such a blessing.
Yes.
And I think so many people discredit or not understand the importance or the significance that a bonus parent can play in somebody's life.
I mean, he's been, he's been my rock.
Yeah.
He's literally being our rock.
And so I don't, I just think that people sleep on that.
Yeah, they do.
You could really go get in a hell.
And he's not perfect.
He's perfectly imperfect.
My daddy's not perfect. .
But he's perfectly.
He perfect.
He's her daddy.
He loves me.
And he loves me.
You know, and have I experienced daddy issues at some point in my life?
I do do.
And I have, and I still do in one area and I realize this.
You know, I've told you this.
I realized that the daddy issue that I had was me always getting in a relationship with being in a man and trying to prove myself, feeling like I have to prove myself worthy.
And just as I've grown and gotten older and with my bonest dad speaking life into me, and then another really good friend, a relationship speaking life into me, letting me know that I don't have to do any of that.
I just have to exist.
And I don't mean exist and be nothing and do nothing.
No, but just exist and be me.
And I don't have to prove anything.
I can just be Cher.
And that person is going to love me.
My person is going to love me for just being Cher.
Absolutely.
And I don't have to.
So I think that was the daddy issue because I was always proving myself and thinking that I had to prove myself to my dad. Because, you know, he would always do certain things or whatever.
And I was just like, but as I grow up I growing up older and then, you know, just my bonus dad and the right people, speaking life with me. And again, shout out to my dad before he passed.
He had really grown a lot.
Absolutely.
100%.
He grew in his faith.
Yeah.
And he did begin to treat me.
Abs. 100%.
And value you as he, as he did as an.
Absolutely.
He absolutelygin to value me.
He had to grow up.
He did.
And he and he had to grow his relationship with the Lord.
And once he did and he changed, I mean, before he died, he was, I mean, he was my daddy loved me.
Yeah.
He did love her.
He.
And one thing he loved us and he was proud of his He was.
And so, um, yeah, but it was just for so long, I always was feeling like I had to prove myself.
Yeah.
But, um, so, yeah, I think, yeah, it can be healthy.
And I want other people to see that, that I'm a product of that.
And I still have a great relationship with, um, I had one with my dad.
I had one with my first bonus dad.
Of course, my bonus dad now.
Now, Papa is still there in in our lives and through with my mom.
So, and I still have a healthy relationship.
And my mom is never, though she didn't have the best experience leaving that marriage, she's never tainted. Feel.
She's phenomenal with those things.m you.
My mom, I'm like, no, I mean, you, hey, do you have your relationship?
I'm glad they love you.
I'm glad they love my baby.
Exactly.
Nancy love my baby.
But she was always that when you talk about someone who moves selflessly.
Yeah.
In all of those years and everything and then just knowing even just things that she went through on her own, right?
And never imposed that on you guys and never did that.
That to me is she needs to write a book.
She does.
Oh, how to leave a marriage.
On How to leave a marriage.
And keep the kids.
Everybody. Kids, copesthetic, everything in a good space or whatever.
Co character.
I' always admired her for that because there's things that I didn't even find out until years later because I'm like, oh, there's she's just full of such grace in, in these like moments or whatever.
And so that's when I think about the epitome of leaving a relationship and making sure that your kids are still in a healthy space, she sacrificed so much.
That is a sacrifice.
She did.
She sacrificed years of her life.
Yep.
She also sacrificed just just different things or whatever.
But that to me is, is exactly how it should be done.
Right.
I agree.
And, I've always admired that.
And so I've learned a lot about that even just speaking to other people like, oh, it can be done.
It can be done.
It can be done.
And it can be done in a healthy way.
Peaceful.
In a spiritual way, in a peaceful way, in a graceful way..
It can be done in all those things.
All of that, right?
And your kids will still be fine.
And your kids will be fine.
Absolutely.
100%.
Yeah.
Kids will still be fine.
Yeah.
You know.
Because there was a lot of years where, um, and I know Joanna can speak to this too, because she, she comes from kind of the same background as I do.
Well, the same background as I do.
And, um, uh, where we were a little concerned , right, about things that you felt like were normal.
Oh, yeah.
And things that, so that's why I say getting into a healthy situation can grow you as a woman and make you healthy in a relationship.
Whereas if you stay in certain situations, the things that you think are normal , and I'm like, Shared, that's not normal.
It's not normal.
I would tell you that all the time.
I was like, that's not normal.
Let's revisit this and let's talk about this.
And not saying that my home, I mean, my daddy is perfect to me. Clear.
Yes.
But let me be clear.
I know that that's not perfect for everyone, but things had to be said to you that those things were just not normal.
Not normal.
Yeah.
Those things were just not normal.
Yeah.
You know?
And I had to learn it.
Yeah.
And you did.
And I did.
And so, but you know what?
It also made me who I am.
And so yeah.
And I, yeah, but you are a prime example , long story short.
Yeah.
You are a prime example of getting out of a certain situation, a selfless mother who never made it about her.
She was not bitter about any decision that she made.
She did not try to just gut punch people or get out or withhold children or weaponize children, weaponize money or anything like that. Any of those things.
And so you are a prime example.
And that's another reason why we can speak on that.
Absolutely.
So, yeah, we don't have to have actually been married to understand that.
We do understand.
It was not easy decisions each time for my mom to leave.
She did what was best for her and what was best for her for the children.
And you never knew until you knew.
We never knew.
And that is to be commended.
That's.
That's what I said.
Yes.
We never, never never knew until you knew.
Until it was the day we were moving till we were moving.
Shout out.
We never knew she was divorcing.
We had no clue because you had wrong people business.
That's right.
And you had kids what was going on behind the scenes.
When she said, the X, Y, and Z been going on, we were like, what?
What?
I mean, never knew.
So it takes mature adults and a mature, not bitter woman to sit down and say, you know what?
I fell short.
I fell short.
And when we're not perfect.
So that's why this conversation is being had because I feel like to me, and this is my opinion, I feel like it's my more so the women that that weaponize the children or that exhibit the bitter behavior when it comes to when a man is trying to say, hey, I'm not happy.
And it's like holding them hostage or the comist of or the comments of, you know, no, I've been here since you before you had, you know, you, so you ain't going nowhere.
Like I' capitalize on the other side.
Right.
You know, like holding people hostage.
Like , bye.
And I' Bye for go.
And I don't know, I can say this because I haven't.
I don't want to stay somewhere where somebody doesn't really want me.
Oh, I've been left before?
Yeah.
Oh, did he try to come back?
Yeah, but I've been left before.
Yeah.
And he don't And I don't want to be in that state.
And I'm not.vinced to trying to be being kept when I don't when don't nobody want to keep me.
No.
So if you felt like you wanted, you found something else or you ready to go.
And we had been open on this conversation.
He felt like he, you know, I want to go here and do X, Y, and Z. We sat down.
We had a conversation.
I said, how long I got to get out.
And in six days, I picked my shit and left.
Three weeks later, he called, said, can I come back?
No, no.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
I'm gone.
That's a different story for a different day.
It's a different thing.
But the point is, is that why we got to fight that?
If somebody don't want you, what is this?
That?
Oh, .
Sorry, y.
What is that?
Okay, yeah.
Anyways, if somebody told us spiders?
If somebody don't want you, they just don't want you.
And men and women.
Oh, that goes both ways.
Men, if a woman don't want you, let it go and move on.
Get out and move on. Your own happiness as..
Like, because just like that person is unhappy, you, then, then why would you want to stay in that situation anyway?
Like, why would you want to be there?
Like, are the business of keeping them trying to be kept.
No.
So, no, you not at all.
If you don't want me and I don't want you, let's go find somewhere and get and go be happy.
Okay.
So that that is , at the end of the day, that is what we, we really want to talk about there for a long time because, it's really, but then after they're having that conversation and it's to the point where so many men and you, and it's getting really prominent in the black community as well as suicide.
A lot of murder suicides you're seeing , but it's, I think it it seems from a lot of just people are unhappy.
They are.
They are unhappy.
And I think life is just too short.
It's so short.
It's too short, but people are really unhappy and having those types of really hard conversations.
I commend anybody .
I commend anybody.
Let me just say that.
Men or, man or woman.
But I, even more so sometimes because, because it's more, more common for a woman to express herself, right?
Yeah.
But I really commend any man who takes the time to express himself.
Absolutely.
And actually say , I'm not happy.
This is what I've been feeling.
And, and just, hey, I got to figure it out.
Yeah.
So any man that does that to me, that's very, that's vulnerability.
Oh, man.
And that's him saying, you know, hey, I got to figure this out because I'm about to lose it.
Yeah.
And I, I'd rather them do that than lose it.
Yeah.
And so if a man comes to you and expresses himself in that way, .
Don't get defensive.
Don't get defensive.
Don Don't have a rebuttal.
Don't have a reply.
Don't argue.
Just listen to him because if he feels, like you said, if he feels okay enough, because that takes so much for a man.
Yeah.
Like it just, it just takes so much.
So if he's trusting that space, that means number one, he might actually want to work on it.
Yep.
Number two, just allow him that space to express himself because men do not do that and allow it to be a safe space.
Don'll argue.
Don't say, well, I've been doing this da-a.
I've sacrificed.
No.
No.
Just hear him.
Let him .
And if you want that marriage, women fix it.
Yeah.
Hear what they're saying and fix it.
Absolutely.
You want them to fix it.
Hear what they're saying and fix it.
And we should change the narrative that, that, that, that, the saying that says, marriage, marriage benefits men, divorce, benefits women.
I think that's what' saying, right?thing like that.
Yeah.
It should be marriage benefits both.
Yes.
Right?
It should be, it should be, and divorce should just be a split.
That's it.
You know what I mean?
And everybody go to their separate way.
Yeah.
Go on.
It shouldn't be like that.
Let's let's figure it out.
And we're having this conversation too because it's not only have we spoken to a lot of people, but a lot of times when we talk about this , a lot of men have messaged us.
Yeah.
And feel like this is a safe space to where they can anonymously express themselves because anybody know anything about the aunties, especially these two aunties right here, you can tell us anything between these two aunties right here..
But um, and it's been that way.
But they've been reaching out when they see an episode and they see a clip or hear something that we say that resonates or, they hear a speaking and they hear that there's other men going through what they're going through, feeling like they're unseen, feeling like, you know, they just, they don't have a voice anymore.
And we, y' ladies, y'all know, some of us are really masculine.
I choose, no, I'm not that.
I don't do the masculine role in there.
But some of us do take that role and we take it too far.
Yeah.
And the man loses his voice.
Like he feels like he can't say anything.
It's It's just heartwrenching.
It's heart-wrenching to me.
And it's heart-wrenching to me when a man does leave and leaves for the betterment of his, to be the best, to go be the best version of himself.
And then the kids don't talk to them.
And the kids treat him differently.
He's always been, these men have.
So the men we're talking about, I know the men for sure, that I'm speaking of and I know them, they are phenomenal fathers.
Yeah.
But they feel like all once the situation is dead, some of them even in the situation.
But once it's over, all they have become is an ATM to the kids because the kids are teen mom all day and the men are just like, and they they have to become okay with not telling their side of the story.
Yeah.
The men have had to become okay with not telling their side of the story because the moms get the get the right to speak on how things have transpired.
And they get the short end of the stick.
And I feel like, it's not fair , but moms, let's do a better job of keeping these fathers in the lives of the children.
And not necessarily, even though you may feel a way and things may have transpired a certain way, the narrative can still be different between the children Abs when it comes to you talking to the children.
Absolutely.
The narrative with you and the ex husband or the husband, the boyfriend, whatever, the baby daddy, it can be what it is between you two.
But when it comes to the children , do the best you can to keep their mindset of their father or mother or whoever in a positive life.
Yeah.
So that co-parenting can be done well and it can be a healthy split, a healthy situation , because, hey, we want to see our men strong and healthy too.
Absolutely.
We want to see them happy too.
They're simple.
Respect, appreciation, and they want to be desired.
That part.
That's it.
It's simple..
And if they're not, and if they're just not happy, if they're just not in love with you and they're just, they're just ready to go, Set them me free.
Please.
And same for you, ladies.
Absolutely.
Set yourselves free.
So, anything else you want to add to that?
No, I think we.
We need to have a man.
We're going to have this talk with a, we need a man that wants to come on the show.
Gentlemen, hit us in the comments .
You know, let us know what you think or if you have anything you want to add to it.
Yeah.
Because, yeah, I was going to read because I was speak your truth.
Please do.
Because they all, I mean, they feel y'all feel this way.
So it is what it is.
I was going to read, but I can't find it.
I was going to read the actual message that one of the gentlemen sent us after seeing one of the episodes.
Let's see..
You spoke verbatim about his marriage without him even having to share.
So he had never spoken to us about his situation.
Never.
But because we were talking about another gentleman's situation, it resonated with him .
But he said, you spoke verbatim about his marriage without sharing it and with you and Jen.
I know God approves a marriage, but it's hard to refute this segment and verbatim about his current situation.
So, yeah, you know, hey, this may be your sign.
I don't know.
We're just out here to help because you're not the only one going through it.
And we're not encouraging separation.
We're encouraging healthy relationships for you. Your significant other, and for your children.
So let's make that very clear.
Oh, yes, please.
Please, please.
We are not promoting separation.
We are not promoting divorce.
We are promoting healthy relationships.
Healthy relationship.
That's what we were.
Whatever that looks like.
Whatever.
Because everybody's's idea of healthy is different.
Absolutely.
Healthy relationships.
That means mentally, emotionally, physically, healthy, and the one thing we are promoting and we stand by is it's not just happy wife, happy life.
That's what I was going to say.
And you deserve to deserve to be happy as well.
So work together to see what that looks like in your home and in your marriage.
So they don't find your happy.
Find your happy.
But do not neglect that the fact that the man needs to be happy as well.
So that's the auntie's advice today.
Auntie talk.
We do have Oh, I have a question for you.
So, okay, is that a rapid fire question?
This was a question that was asked to me, actually, this past weekend as a single woman, and this is from a newly divorced man, trying to find his way.
Do you ever get lonely?
Whew.
That is a great question.
So my response to that is going to be, is kind of twofold.
So, um, one, no. , I do not.
I am very, I'm definitely an extroverted introvert anyway.
So like, I, I don't mind being by myself.
Now, on the flip side, do I yearn for a significant other in a relationship in not wanting to be alone in that way?
Absolutely.
100%.
So I think that it it's, I'm I think that's the answer.
I think, no, I'm not lonely and I don't navigate dataating or being with someone because I'm lonely or because I'm sad, right?
Because of that. , I yearn for that, though.
I liked it.
Yeah.
I agree.
For a relationship, for, I do not want to grow old alone, but not because I'm afraid of being lonely just because I want to choose a relationship.
I want to choose a companion.
I want to choose , I want to choose not to be by myself.
Right.
If that makes sense.
And not be just like, settling or whatever.
Absolutely.
So my answer to that is, no, you're right.
I don't get lonely.
I am very, you know, in touch with myself.
Just I can be by, I went to lunch by myself today.
I me at a restaurant.
And me time is important.
Imp important.
I would sit at a restaurant, at a bar.
I would go eat by myself.
I'll go do anything by myself. Only thing I haven't really done yet by myself is travel, but I'm really not really interested in that, especially in this day and age..
I do like to have somebody with me because it's just safety-wiseise or whatever, but just in general going about my day.
So, no, I don't get lonely, but I, like you said, I do yearn for relationship.
I do yearn for love and physical touch.
Love, yes.
And intimacy and that companion that, you know, can hold me , you know, the things that I can't get from my friends.
Yes.
You know, I do yearn for that type of relationship, but I'm not, I don't get lonely.
And I think to that gentleman and to anybody else out here that's going through this phase of becoming a newly single person , um, man or woman, find your peace, find your happiness within yourself and you won't experience that lonely.
Don't stop trying to chase down or chase that, that , somebody to feel that space or feel the voice.
Stop doing that. And do the inner work, get really close to God, really build your relationship.
And I know that sounds so cliche.
But I found my, my most peace in my life after my last relationship where I really just, because I'm I'm that person used to go from relationship to relationship relationship .
And after the last relationship, I was like, no, I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm I'm over it.
I have spent time for myself.
I've gotten to know Cher.
I know exactly what Cher wants, what she needs.
I know how Cher likes to feel and what makes me happy.
You know, I know when I'm feeling danced.
I just know, and I have that inner peace.
Absolutely.
And I feel like if you gain that within yourself, you will attract that in your partner.
So just focus on spending some time with you .
Stop worrying and stop thinking about being lonely.
Stop thinking about another person and take this time to say, you know what?
This is the time in my life.
Well, I don't have to take care of anybody else.
I ain't have to do that in like forever forever, 20 something or whatever.
Let me take some time to just focus on doing what makes me happy.
Absolutely.
When you do that to that gentleman and to anybody else that's going through, you, this, I don't know what that is. That?
Don't know.
It likes you.
Anyways, yeah.
So when you do that, I promise you the lonely word.
No.
Well, you'll forget about that.
You'll forget about bored.
You want me bored.
You want to be lonely.
I'll that about the door, because you'll be happy within yourself.
And you'll feel whole.
You'll feel, yeah, and you will attract .
You will attract that from somebody else.
Yes.
Yeah.
So Abs. I don't know what the Linette is, but getting on my nerves.
Y'all.m sorry.
But, um That's a great question.
That's a very great question.
I thought so too, because I was like, no, no, I'm not.
I don't.
But I do yearn.
I do want that.
So, yeah.
Anyway, so our auntie affirmation for today is a good man is more than an ATM and a good woman is more than survival mode. ?
Like that.
Oh, this one.
No.
It's the middle.
Oh, thismember that guy said, it's eight dead or something like that.
The gays that came up with this.
So yeah.
So, again, I repeat that a good man is more than an ATM and a good woman is more than survival mode.
If you don't know what that means, ask us in the comments.
Okay.
Lock it.
Anyways, it's been Auntie Talk.
Hollolla us later.
Follow us on Scrbe on YouTube.
We're on all podcast platforms, social media platforms, whatever you want.
And don't forget to ask the auntie. Send us a message.
We'll keep you anonymous.
We won't tell anybody who you are.
Sh.
Yep.
Anyways, it's been.
Holler y'all later. .