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DodoBorne is a comedy Daggerheart actual play podcast where four friends dive into the brand-new tabletop roleplaying game from Darrington Press. Join Kapi, Crank, and Pistachio as they navigate a rich world of mystery, magic, and malfeasance!
Humor, heart, and nonsense guaranteed. Some assembly required.
Last time on Dodoborne, you see Azh directly in front of you. He has the staff. Father Zagan Charles is a elven man with slicked up green hair. Mind asking what was going on out there? What happened to you?
Joseph Diametti:Father, you know, just standard adventuring guild business.
Isaac Allen Burn:I have to know what the bookstore coffee shop combo is called.
Rowan Collins:Morning pages.
Annie Hawthorne:I think I did magic.
Rowan Collins:I think you did magic.
Isaac Allen Burn:I'm the bone master. Yeah. It's like a minor relic. We can talk about it later.
Annie Hawthorne:Who are you?
Isaac Allen Burn:I'm father Charles. Nice to meet you. Well, you see when a trio, a dodo born walked through the hospital.
Joseph Diametti:What the fuck? The fuck did you just say to us?
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, you're Dodo born. How do
Annie Hawthorne:you know that?
Joseph Diametti:No. We're not. No. Don't admit it. We don't I don't know what that means.
Joseph Diametti:Oh. That sounds like a made up word.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see that he smiles at you, Kapi, and says, you know, church stuff. It's classified, I'm afraid. Church stuff classified.
Rowan Collins:Wait. Wait. You know about Dodo born?
Isaac Allen Burn:I've heard.
Rowan Collins:Do have you talked to Percival?
Isaac Allen Burn:Should I know who Percival is?
Rowan Collins:Well, Percival is a gnome that lived outside of our town who, like, guarded the Okay.
Joseph Diametti:Just ask you. What how Are you dodo born?
Isaac Allen Burn:No. No. No. No. I'm with the church.
Isaac Allen Burn:But you see, just to you know, just because, you know, we fought together now. We're cool. Right?
Joseph Diametti:I don't know.
Annie Hawthorne:See? I mean, I think we're pretty cool. Mean, you and I are cool, least. I don't know about Kapi. Kapi's he's, you know, he's really a softie on the inside.
Annie Hawthorne:You just gotta get past that hard exterior shell.
Isaac Allen Burn:I love to hear that. I love to hear that. But, yeah, no. We're tight. You're doing magic.
Isaac Allen Burn:That's really cool.
Rowan Collins:I'm a big fan.
Annie Hawthorne:I wanna be a wizard. Yeah. So that's really
Joseph Diametti:Oh, so we're just gonna tell him everything. Well Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:He wants to be friends. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:We don't hey. You know?
Joseph Diametti:This guy just shows up. You know,
Isaac Allen Burn:talking in a graveyard is, you know, maybe a lot. You know, why don't we go somewhere else? Maybe we could pick up that kid. He looks still unconscious. You look over, the kid's face is just looking the opposite way from where he was slapped as though he just got slapped and they just moved his head over.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. We might just take him to the
Rowan Collins:Oh, yeah.
Joseph Diametti:Can I go help the kid up? Yeah. You go help the
Isaac Allen Burn:kid up.
Joseph Diametti:Hank, can we try another
Rowan Collins:I got it. I got it.
Annie Hawthorne:I'll slap him. Slap him in the other direction with the magic hand.
Isaac Allen Burn:That works out. He wakes up. Okay.
Joseph Diametti:Fuck. Stop hitting me, tries to hold him up. Or Don't touch me, weirdo. Okay. Alright.
Joseph Diametti:What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Why are you touching me? Fucking terrible.
Joseph Diametti:Where did you get that? My god. Kid, listen. I was like you once. What are you doing?
Isaac Allen Burn:No. You weren't. You're blue. I'm not blue.
Joseph Diametti:I know you're not blue.
Isaac Allen Burn:I didn't say we're
Annie Hawthorne:blue. People.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. I can. I can do whatever I want. You can't stop me.
Joseph Diametti:Where did you get that relic, kid?
Isaac Allen Burn:What are talking about? I I found it. You found it?
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. I found it. Where'd you find it? On the street. On the street.
Isaac Allen Burn:On the ground.
Joseph Diametti:And then you were like, I'm gonna go raise some dead people. Well, yeah. Why?
Isaac Allen Burn:Because why not?
Joseph Diametti:Why would you? You're having trouble at home?
Isaac Allen Burn:Fuck. No. Fuck you. No. I'm not.
Isaac Allen Burn:No. Listen. You really think My dad loves me.
Joseph Diametti:Listen. You're not gonna make it like this, kid. It's not how it goes. I make it hell or
Isaac Allen Burn:I want. You don't even know who the fuck I
Joseph Diametti:am. Listen. You might do it real cool. Wow. I smoke cigarettes.
Joseph Diametti:I raise the dead. We're fucking We've all been young once. Okay? You
Isaac Allen Burn:yeah. Because you're so fucking old. You're just an old pervert who's
Joseph Diametti:That's such as kids where I draw the line, mother. I have a robot with a magic hand. You better watch your attitude.
Isaac Allen Burn:What? He just folds his arms and looks away from you.
Joseph Diametti:Listen, kid. Why don't you come with us? We'll get you a bite to eat. And by we, I mean the father because he has money.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see the you see actually that the father is looking into the graveyard at something that caught his attention. And Kapi, as you look at him and you look into the graveyard, Joe, what is it that he is looking at in this graveyard? What is something you weren't expecting that's in this graveyard?
Joseph Diametti:I don't know. We can you can tell me if this is off limits.
Isaac Allen Burn:No. Go for it. Do it. What's up? Tell me.
Joseph Diametti:That spear thing that was in the ground at the tabernacle is in the ground and it's like glowing and radiating Oh. Dark energy. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:Look over and you see a similar thing. It's not exactly the same kind of dark energy. This one's much smaller. You see it's a much smaller scale. It is shunted in front of one of the mausoleums.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see it's just right at the entrance of it. Almost as though the interaction of all these undead either activated it or made it such that you could see it. It's in the same mausoleum that the knight went into, and you see it shunted there just on the side there. Wouldn't have even noticed it, but it's glowing. He's looking at it, and you see it.
Isaac Allen Burn:And you see the father looks over at the kid. He holds up his holy symbol. You see it glows a little bit, and he whispers under his breath, may midnight give you the greatest of dreams? And you see that the kid is about to say something else to you, and slumber hits him, and he falls asleep.
Annie Hawthorne:What did you do that for?
Isaac Allen Burn:Two reasons. First reason, he was getting on my nerves. Second Makes sense. Second reason, we got something going on over there. He points so that all of you can see the smaller version of the spear shunted into the ground
Annie Hawthorne:from the mudslide. I have an idea, and I'll walk over there.
Joseph Diametti:No. No. No. Crank, we have to go. We have to No.
Annie Hawthorne:We should get this out of the ground because it's gonna do
Joseph Diametti:damage. That.
Annie Hawthorne:I know we can't touch it, but that thing says my magic hand can't touch it.
Joseph Diametti:Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:And so I'll walk over to it and I'll try to grab it with the magic hand, has my strength.
Joseph Diametti:Happy he's putting his fingers in his ears.
Isaac Allen Burn:You grab onto with your magic. Go ahead and give me a strength check here. Good choice. Good call.
Annie Hawthorne:10 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burn:10 with fear. You pull on it. A 10 is not enough to get it off. I'm gonna take this here.
Rowan Collins:That's what? What? What?
Isaac Allen Burn:A 10 is not enough what? Why don't
Joseph Diametti:you grab on it and the 10 is not enough to get it off?
Isaac Allen Burn:That's not what
Joseph Diametti:I said. It is exactly what
Isaac Allen Burn:you said. That's okay. Let me try that again then. Oh my god. Be serious, y'all.
Isaac Allen Burn:Why are we Amy.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:Crank, this magical hand wraps around the spear and you feel the magic tethered to you as you pull, trying to force it up out of the ground. The magic almost seems to diminish as it touches this thing.
Annie Hawthorne:My magic?
Isaac Allen Burn:The magic around this hand. Yeah. Almost as though this thing is eating it, almost absorbing it. As you pull it out, it's not quite enough. And on that fear, you feel like there's something going on here.
Isaac Allen Burn:There's some purpose to this thing. But I'm gonna say on that fear, you're not quite sure what this thing's purpose is. And as you're doing that, Pistachio and Cappe, as the two of y'all are standing there watching, you don't notice father Charles has come up next to Crank. He kinda like pushes your arm a little bit, Crank, because if you get your attention, he points at it and says, someone was trying to keep something out of here, most likely just regular people or sometimes specific people. Best way we can get this out is if we can overload it enough with enough magic to sort of short circuit it.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:Now, you have a lot of magic, but do you think you can help me out with this?
Annie Hawthorne:I am gonna abandon my magic hand.
Isaac Allen Burn:It disappears.
Annie Hawthorne:No. I am going to wrap both of my actual hands around this thing.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, okay.
Annie Hawthorne:Different way. Wanna use one of my order born dedications, which the third one is above all, endure. And I want to endure whatever magic that this thing pumps into me, and I want to will that magic and whatever magic I have inside of me back into it. Oh god.
Joseph Diametti:Okay. Oh, no. Alright.
Isaac Allen Burn:However, father Charles is going to assist you. He he sees what you're doing immediately, and you hear him say, uh-oh. Uh-oh. And he holds his holy symbol out towards you.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:And it's almost going to take some of the magical blood that you're about to receive here. I need a strength check from you. This will have advantage because helping.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Can I use an experience called you've got a friend in me since I have him supporting me, and I feel like we're friends?
Isaac Allen Burn:You know, that is internally consistent with Crank. So I'm gonna say, yeah, this guy is your friend.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:So And because you're helping out with friendship. Yeah. A 100%.
Annie Hawthorne:So I'm gonna roll these dice one at a time just for the suspense.
Isaac Allen Burn:Here we go.
Annie Hawthorne:So I'm rolling my fear die, which is a d 12 right now.
Isaac Allen Burn:Here we go.
Annie Hawthorne:That's an 11.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, big roll. I roll.
Annie Hawthorne:My hope die K. Because of my order born dedication as a d 20.
Rowan Collins:Let's go.
Annie Hawthorne:8. That's 19. 19. I'm gonna roll my advantage die. 524.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm using my hope to use my you've got a friend in me plus two. That's 26 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burn:This is incredible.
Annie Hawthorne:Was that strength?
Isaac Allen Burn:That was strength.
Annie Hawthorne:So that would be 29 then. Nice. With fear.
Isaac Allen Burn:So the DC for this was a 25, which you beat. You roll with fear.
Rowan Collins:Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burn:This thing comes out of the ground. A pulse of magic burns through your body here. Mhmm. Because you succeeded, you are not gonna take full damage of this. You're gonna take 21 magic damage.
Isaac Allen Burn:Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:Severe. And crank,
Isaac Allen Burn:as magic pumps into you, what memory of Adrian bubbles up to the surface? I'll let you decide the nature of it, but on this fear, I'm gonna say a memory comes back to you. Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:So Crank grabs onto the spear and pulls it out, and the wave of magic that comes out just makes every awareness that Crank has of what's happening around him fade. And this memory comes back in such a vivid way that it feels like it's happening again. So this memory is the first time that Crank ever realized the true power of magic, and it happened pretty soon after he came online to go be the guardian for Adrian. And, like, I feel like up until this point, he's just been hitting stuff and doing a really good job of protecting him. And I think that at this particular situation, they walked into an ambush.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, okay.
Annie Hawthorne:And they had multiple adversaries around, and he's, like, holding his own trying to fight them off, but he's slowly and steadily losing ground. And I think that all of a sudden, like, from behind him, this wave of magic similar to what just happened just, like, pulses out from where Adriana is standing. And, like, all of the adversaries that Crank has been trying to fight off just, like, kind of disintegrate into dust. Powerful magic. And, like, the armor that they're wearing is, like, bright and silver, and it's just floating like glitter in the air around Crank.
Annie Hawthorne:And Crank is just standing there kind of, like, in his mind right now in the present. This moment kind of freezes, And it's almost as if he is floating through stardust. And he's just in awe of like what just happened.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. You're standing there as these glittering bits of what at one point where people are just floating in the air. You hear Adrian sigh really heavily, walks up next to you. It's a real shame it had to be done, but, you know, those are choices you make when you wield magic.
Annie Hawthorne:What was that?
Isaac Allen Burn:It's just a it's a little something I concocted myself, actually.
Annie Hawthorne:That's amazing. It's so beautiful. Is this what magic does?
Isaac Allen Burn:Can. Magic can be the road to great change.
Annie Hawthorne:Could I learn to do this?
Isaac Allen Burn:He smiles big at you and says, I was not worried about Crank. I bet you will. Crank, you okay, buddy? So he's looking at you. Crank, you alright?
Isaac Allen Burn:Where'd you go, buddy? What? And you kinda snap out of it, and instead of Adrian, you see father Charles there kinda holding your shoulder saying, where'd you go, big guy?
Annie Hawthorne:I don't really know where I went. I I I just a memory, think.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, yeah. You must have been a vivid memory. Okay. He pulls out another purple handkerchief and kinda reaches up for the spear.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm, like, holding the spear. Do I feel anything from the spear?
Isaac Allen Burn:You feel like this spear has been fully expended and a similar sensation to where after you run, like, a five k where all of your muscles are just sort of weak, like your hands. You have no strength in your hands because they're
Joseph Diametti:just weak. Yeah. Okay. No
Annie Hawthorne:idea what you're talking about. Oh my Anyway. Alright.
Isaac Allen Burn:You don't work out really. You do some squats. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:I need to do that more.
Isaac Allen Burn:You know when you kickbox?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:I know. And your your thighs are like Yeah. Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:Got you. I got you.
Isaac Allen Burn:There we go. That's our connection point. Yeah. He reaches up and just kinda takes it. There are no sparks from the purple handkerchief.
Isaac Allen Burn:He pulls out what looks like a separate purple bag and just kinda, like, shoves it in there. Whatever is in the bag, it's much bigger on the inside than the outside. He just kinda slides it in there. And he says, well, that you know, your methods are unorthodox, Craig, but I gotta give it to you that did that did work. You okay?
Isaac Allen Burn:You alright?
Annie Hawthorne:And, like, a spark flies out of my eye. Oh, sorry about that.
Isaac Allen Burn:You know? There. And he kinda holds up his holy symbol. And the other ally move that he has, he is going to expend one stress because he can do that, and he's going to heal you for two HP.
Rowan Collins:Nice. Well, Craig, I'm so that was so scary. Craig, that thing hurts really bad. Are you okay?
Annie Hawthorne:Craig's just kind of in a daze, I think. He's like, yeah. Yeah. I'm fine, Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:What? Pistachio is almost like trying to climb up to, like like, see in your eyes, like, crank, crank. Like, I need you are you like, oh gosh. That was so painful last time. Okay.
Joseph Diametti:Alright. Father, thank you for the help. Yeah. It seems like you got a lot out of this or whatever you were looking for. Crank, Pistachio, I hate to remind you, but the only way we get paid is if we beat Callie and Ingleborg to the adventure guests.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, can't you looks up at the sky.
Rowan Collins:You know that's not gonna happen. Right? It's dark now.
Joseph Diametti:We don't know that. We they could've they could've they could've gotten trapped. They could've died if we're lucky. Right? Well, there's a we don't know.
Joseph Diametti:So I just think that maybe we should.
Rowan Collins:Oh, right.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. I mean, I was thinking about getting some coffee. There's this really cool place in the entertainment district called Morning Pages.
Rowan Collins:Love that place.
Isaac Allen Burn:We smash cut to the Morning Pages. And y'all, I have something I wanna tell y'all. Hey. It's me, your GM Isaac Allen Burns. I have some exciting news for all of you.
Isaac Allen Burn:If you recall a couple episodes ago, I asked you all, hey. Let's describe Algenabai. Right?
Rowan Collins:Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burn:From what y'all said, I have created an environment for Algenabai, the provincial capital of Algenabai. Now this has some features. This has some passive features. I'm not gonna tell you what they do, but I am gonna tell you the names of these passive features. And as we're playing, as we're going through, just keep those in the back of your mind.
Isaac Allen Burn:Interact with them however you would like. But here's what they are. First of all, the morning pages, cobblestone streets and mission tile roofs. I haven't seen that since the war. The market district, talk of the town.
Isaac Allen Burn:So just keep those in mind. Just keep those in mind. If something happens where they will come up, I'll happily let you know. But me, your GM, Isaac Calumbers, that's how I'm gonna decide to communicate to y'all what environment is due. However, you currently find yourselves at the Morning Pages.
Isaac Allen Burn:This is an eclectic bookshop slash coffee shop that was described by Rowan earlier. And Rowan, since we're inside of it, go ahead, expound on this place. Tell me about the Morning Pages.
Rowan Collins:So the Morning Pages is a little bit labyrinthian. So there you go on in and there's a coffee barista stand. And then to your left and to your right, there is almost like a maze of books that kinda goes around it. It goes upstairs where you can kinda, like, have some sitting tables and then comes back down and not through the other side. So they have plenty of books from non fiction books to, like, whatever local writers are doing there.
Rowan Collins:But for the most part, they're selling, like, coffee and pastries and then the experience of going through a labyrinth of books and getting stuck there and probably buying at least 12 of them.
Isaac Allen Burn:Like any bookstore. Yes. But, yeah, y'all walk in and
Joseph Diametti:As Kapi walks in Yeah. He's gonna look to Pistachio. Oh. You think they have fritters here?
Rowan Collins:And Pistachio will look over to the two bartenders that are definitely there. One barista who is like a fairy with like shocking blue hair, almost like a violet blue, and is kind of almost a Luna Moff y girl. And the other one
Isaac Allen Burn:Is Miles, who sits there with a big smile on his face as you walk in. Miles. If Miles. It's not my favorite customers, welcome in.
Joseph Diametti:Holy god. So what are you doing here?
Isaac Allen Burn:I could ask you the same thing.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I think the bar burned down. I think that's why he's here.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:Unfortunate it was real unfortunate. I if you're taking it down.
Joseph Diametti:Frank, can I just can we just be excited for two seconds?
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. I'm I'm coming in. I'm trying something new. I'm trying coffee now.
Rowan Collins:Hey, Miles. It's good to see you. Do you remember Quackers?
Isaac Allen Burn:I sure don't. But, hey, nice
Joseph Diametti:to meet you, Quackers. Hey, Miles. We're gonna do Oh, yeah? Four coffees. Okay.
Rowan Collins:I want mine mostly milk, please.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm gonna lean on the bar, like, with one elbow and be like, Miles, you know, I I need a hookup. And, like, you you got the good stuff for me. Have you stocked that here yet?
Isaac Allen Burn:Crank, I've been working here two days. And you know what I did on my first day?
Annie Hawthorne:What did you do?
Isaac Allen Burn:I went and got some premium oil. Just for you, man.
Annie Hawthorne:Yes. You are the
Isaac Allen Burn:I'm gonna ring up an extra black coffee and we both know what it is and he winks at
Rowan Collins:you. Nice.
Isaac Allen Burn:That's right. I treat my customers right.
Rowan Collins:We love you, Miles.
Joseph Diametti:Way to go, Miles.
Rowan Collins:Yay, Miles.
Isaac Allen Burn:Hey. Way to go, all of you. Way to go, all of you. You whole milk okay with that?
Rowan Collins:Yes. That's totally okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:Sounds good. He gets four coffees. The father orders a a Duplo, and the kid orders nothing because he's still asleep. And he kid. Kid's here too.
Isaac Allen Burn:You're all seated at a little table, kinda nursing back the coffee, and the father is just making small talk with you. You find out he's he's originally from Jastain. You know, he's been a wandering priest for a while. I don't really give you too much specifics, but kinda size heavily. Oh, this is not how I thought my night was gonna go.
Isaac Allen Burn:What about y'all?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I thought I would get some sleep, to be honest.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. One night.
Rowan Collins:I get a little weird past 10PM. So Oh, really
Annie Hawthorne:past 10PM.
Rowan Collins:It's very past 10PM. I almost wonder if we've looped back around and now I'm normal again. What do you think, quackers?
Isaac Allen Burn:Quack.
Rowan Collins:I agree. I'm normal. Perfectly sane. Completely sane. Oh.
Rowan Collins:And they, like, start looking around at the books because they have positioned us in a specific spot that is, like, right next to the animal books because that's their favorite section. Nice. And they're like like almost like twitching as if like almost like waiting for the opportune time to like get up and start looking at the books.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see the father's about to say something and you feel like your moment is here?
Rowan Collins:No. Okay. Just hold that thought. Okay. And they, like, like, run over and start, like, looking at the books at for dodo stuff.
Joseph Diametti:Chappy has his, you know, elbows on the table, holding his head up, like, he's almost hungover. And he's just like, we're never getting paid.
Annie Hawthorne:I think I'm not kidding. Crank is just like, he's never seen a bookstore before. He's only ever seen libraries. So he's like, oh, this is a library. So he's gonna, like, go find the magic section and just start taking books and stacking them in his arms and carry them back to the table and just plop them down on
Joseph Diametti:the table. Oh. We gotta buy those, bud.
Annie Hawthorne:What do you mean?
Joseph Diametti:They're not free here.
Rowan Collins:Why not? Pistachio is walking back with, like, a couple of different animal books and, lops them down.
Joseph Diametti:Pistachio, we have to buy those here.
Rowan Collins:I know that. I have a tab.
Joseph Diametti:You have a tab?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I have a tab.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, can I put these on your tab?
Rowan Collins:You can put those on my tab.
Joseph Diametti:How high is our tab?
Rowan Collins:It's quite high.
Isaac Allen Burn:Roll a d 100.
Annie Hawthorne:How many books did I manage to grab? That's the question.
Isaac Allen Burn:Roll a d 12.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, no. Oh, no. Four. Only four this week.
Isaac Allen Burn:They're like big books, though.
Rowan Collins:Okay. 94. 94
Joseph Diametti:gold. This is gonna be what sticks us in this town is we're gonna be in a book.
Isaac Allen Burn:We're gonna owe a book mafia. Like, that's at least that's at least 10 handfuls of gold right there.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. So me, Wally, and Hazel all have our book total. So together, we all have 94, and I've definitely put a few on those. But, like, I come here to read. I come here to read everything.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. Hazel Hazel's your sister. Right?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Hazel's my identical twin sister.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. She's doing a lot identical.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:Wait. Hang on. Are you sure?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. We look exactly the same.
Isaac Allen Burn:Okay. Yeah. No. He looks at you, Kapi, for a second?
Joseph Diametti:Kapi just shakes his head no.
Isaac Allen Burn:He looks back at the statue and says, yeah. Hazel's really great. Hazel's been doing a lot of helping out of the cathedral.
Rowan Collins:Oh, oh, that's awesome. I
Isaac Allen Burn:She's got real potential.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. That's great. I I've been wondering where she's been at since I haven't seen her at home at all. That's great. She's always wanted to be like a doctor, so I'm glad she's doing I'm glad she's doing okay.
Rowan Collins:And you see Pistachio, like, dampens a little bit and then just, like, flips open their book and just starts to ignore and go a little quiet.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, okay. Oops. Didn't know that was a nerve. Kapi, what do you think of this guy? What do you think of father Charles?
Joseph Diametti:Kapi's just staring at him the whole time because Kapi doesn't care about books. And he's looking at him with, like, squinted eyes. Like he's trying to figure out what the angle is here. Like this guy shows up in a cemetery.
Isaac Allen Burn:I see you looking at me, Kathy. I feel like you wanna ask me something.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. What's the deal?
Isaac Allen Burn:What do
Joseph Diametti:mean? You're following us around. You know that we're dodo born.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. I'll say following you around. Let's be clear. I don't think I'm following you. I think we just happen to be at the same place at the same time.
Isaac Allen Burn:Right?
Joseph Diametti:Okay. That's your story. I don't even really know. Maybe Listen. Maybe you could buy a little bit of faith here, father, and expand a little bit about what dodo born means.
Joseph Diametti:Because here's what I know about being dodo born. A gnome told us that we are dodo born and that we're married by fate.
Rowan Collins:Oh, yeah. We're married by fate.
Joseph Diametti:Pistachio, read your book. Okay. That means next to nothing to me. So maybe you could expand on what that's supposed to mean to us three.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see that he looks really quizzical when you start talking about a gnome? He says, okay. You know what? You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right.
Isaac Allen Burn:Why don't we can trade information. That was mostly what this was with some intel gathering between the two of us. Good way to trade information in an empty empty coffee shop at 5AM in the morning. Yeah. So, you know, if you're gonna if you're gonna hold the truth from somebody, Kapi, you should do it to someone who doesn't have all the information and doesn't know that you're dodo borns.
Isaac Allen Burn:See, the priest that was stationed in Bracken Road, Father Graham, you probably met him a few times. He reported having a a feeling of a spike in spiritual energy just a couple of days before the Apple Festival. Right? And then everything happened. And then he said that he saw three individuals going into the woods feeling pretty shortly after another intense spike of spiritual energy and then those same three people come running out with one of them fully unconscious and beat to shit and then a fawn who's super fucked up.
Isaac Allen Burn:And that really raised a couple of red flags. So, you know, I've came in again, just a wandering priest, just trying to make sure everyone stays safe. And it just seems like something happened there beyond what perhaps public perception is. And it's my job to, you know, keep people safe. So really, if I'm just being honest, just putting all my cards on the table for you, Cathy, I really just wanna know what happened.
Joseph Diametti:What are you thinking?
Rowan Collins:Think Pistachio pulls up a picture of another dodo and goes, look, they have really pretty pictures.
Joseph Diametti:What do you think, Crank?
Annie Hawthorne:Like, I think that this conversation is captivating. And, like, I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going on because you're being very distrustful, and I feel like we can trust this guy.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:And, like, maybe I have a book open, but I'm just like
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Looking back and forth. I think Pistachio is doing the thing where, like, you know, a kid is, like, has a book, but, like, there's clearly a very, like, stressful thing going on. So they're kind of like
Joseph Diametti:Mom and dad are fighting.
Rowan Collins:Mom and dad are fighting. So they're, like, they're, like, trying to stay out of it, but it's, like, they can't really stay out of it.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. I'm gonna use my Slyborn community ability where I have advantage on roles to negotiate with criminals, detect lies, or find a safe place to hide. And this is going to be detecting a lie.
Isaac Allen Burn:I'll say go for it. And the thing I think, Crank, Yule, Clock, that he's talking about, more than likely, the spike in spiritual energy that he's talking about a couple days before the Apple Festival, you think you know what that was. That was most likely your altercation underneath the town hall when you first grabbed the staff.
Joseph Diametti:Mhmm. This is instinct?
Isaac Allen Burn:Sure is. Go for it, big guy.
Rowan Collins:Nice.
Joseph Diametti:Let's go. That is 23 plus six.
Rowan Collins:Oh, 29.
Joseph Diametti:Nice. 29. With hope.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yay. 29. Okay. That's like gold medal on this look. So I'll give you I'll give you pretty much all of it Kapi would pick up on here.
Isaac Allen Burn:Kapi recognizes when people aren't telling the full story, and Kapi also recognizes when people aren't saying something. And I think you pick up on both. Clearly, this guy has called himself a wandering priest enough that you think that he's definitely something more. The other thing that I think you pick up on is that the line of questioning, you know the answer he's looking for is regarding that relic and likely who has it now. Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burn:That seems to be the information he's trying to pick up on. Additionally, this guy can clearly hold his own, but I think the main thing that you do pick up on is that he truly does not mean any harm to y'all. Like, clearly, is not standing against you, and he's not trying to hurt y'all. This is him trying to gather information, and he's also clearly sizing y'all up because someone in his station likely wants to know who he can depend on and who can be allies. And I think that based on what he has seen and heard, he's still a little on the fence.
Joseph Diametti:Okay, father. So let's say some magic did happen.
Annie Hawthorne:And we're not saying it did.
Joseph Diametti:Not saying it did. Let's say we know what it was.
Annie Hawthorne:Not saying we do.
Joseph Diametti:Not saying we do.
Isaac Allen Burn:And let's say,
Joseph Diametti:we know who has it now.
Annie Hawthorne:Not saying we do.
Joseph Diametti:Not saying we do.
Rowan Collins:I'll say we do.
Joseph Diametti:Okay. Statue of Just don't book. What do you intend to do with that information?
Isaac Allen Burn:So I work for the church, though I'm a little different than most of the priests that you've dealt with so far. I'm in a different branch of it, we can say. There are magical items in the world. We just dealt with two of them. Those are minor relics.
Isaac Allen Burn:They contain magic, some from the gods, some from crazed experimentation, some from incredible acts of nature. Nevertheless, they all sort of represent a threat to people, the general public. Most people that come into contact with these things, whether it be simply the nature of mortals, whether it be the power of them themselves, they wind up like our new friend here who's passed down in a corner behind the table. It goes to their heads. They hurt themselves and they hurt others.
Isaac Allen Burn:Most of them, however, are pretty weak and small like we saw here. This relic that we just picked up from this kid was stolen from the church a couple days ago. There are relics, however, that are much more powerful. Divine relics, we call them. They contain some posture, the unmitigated power of the gods themselves.
Isaac Allen Burn:Wars have been fought over them. Wars have been ended by them. People have lost a lot because of them. They represent the still existent and real impact that the power of the gods still has. Gods are in the circles above.
Isaac Allen Burn:They're not here anymore. Those relics, however, are. Part of my job is to keep tabs on such things, retrieve them if I can. But network is very dangerous. Sometimes uprooting it from where it is can have dire consequences.
Isaac Allen Burn:What we saw in Bracken Road is a fraction of what it can cause. Now, there's a lot of information out there of what happened. A lot of eyewitnesses with a lot of different stories. But if I am correct and a divine relic was at the heart of this, And I need to make sure that wherever it is now, that it is either not in someone's hands who's gonna hurt it or it's somewhere safe that no one can get to it.
Rowan Collins:I think Pistachio closes their book and looks over at Kapi as if to ask permission.
Joseph Diametti:Kapi would tell because he's seen how terrible this magic can be. And I think Kapi would internalize that and almost actively want it destroyed.
Rowan Collins:And then, like, Pistachio just tells him everything about Percival and about learning about the staff, about Scarlet's great great grandfather and his head getting smashed like a pumpkin, and about Ash and his assault on Bracken Road and how just angry they were. And then how about they rushed in and then Kapi nearly died and how they feel so guilty, so so guilty, and that they just don't know what to do.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see that he kind of strokes his chin for a second as though in deep thought and contemplation, kinda nods a little bit and he looks at you three and says, I really appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me these things. This is incredibly helpful. There's good news and bad news here. Okay.
Joseph Diametti:What's the good news?
Rowan Collins:Actually, can we start with the bad news? I'd rather end on a high note. And they, like, kinda hug on to hack quackers and then flip the page.
Isaac Allen Burn:What? You know, the bad news is that we don't know where that relic is now. That is tough. The good news though is that based on who has it for now, I have a feeling it'll turn up some point soon. So work's still to be done, I guess.
Rowan Collins:You know, Ash?
Isaac Allen Burn:I'll say this. I know you're adventurers. So me saying, oh, they're they're too dangerous. Stay away from them. Oh, just, you know, keep your heads down and keep it I know how this works.
Isaac Allen Burn:I've done this before. You're not gonna listen. You're gonna go head first into whatever and that's totally fine. That's you. Edge is a part of a very dangerous organization that is at odds with my organization.
Isaac Allen Burn:For various reasons, that's really all I can tell you. But if you meet if you see him or anyone associated with him, get away. He is choosing his words very carefully. You can tell. Though his smile is easy and he seems very relaxed.
Isaac Allen Burn:You can tell that he's very thoughtful of what he's saying. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. There are things going on behind the scenes, vaster and more terrible than you can imagine. And you're only three people right now. I would, for now, focus on yourselves and focus on those around you.
Isaac Allen Burn:I'm just I'm giving you a normal warning that I've given before, Prioritize staying safe. Don't get too involved in these things if you can help it. And he reaches into a pocket and he pulls out a familiar kinda looking gem, a lot smaller than the one that you have currently, Crank. It's sort of gray with the nine pointed star, the symbol of the Ennead on it. And he hands it to you and says, if you run into one of these relics again or if you see any of those people again, smash this.
Isaac Allen Burn:I'll be there in a jiffy.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:Be there as soon as I can.
Rowan Collins:Thank you.
Isaac Allen Burn:If you hear any information, feel free to come to the cathedral. That's where I'm sort of staying right now.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see the father is kinda looking outside and says, well, I better start getting back to the cathedral. This has been very enlightening. Really, again, thank you so much. I hope to see you around.
Rowan Collins:It was nice nice to meet you, father Charles.
Isaac Allen Burn:Good to meet all of you as well. Good to see you're doing better, Kapi. Seeing a little trust goes a long way.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. Thanks, father.
Isaac Allen Burn:Got you. And he stands up and says, you know, glad I could pay for coffee for all y'all. Enjoy the breakfast. The only payment that I will have in return, though, is that you gotta deal with this kid. And he snaps his fingers, and he begins to walk out just as the kid, like, wakes up and is like, what the fuck?
Isaac Allen Burn:Where am I fucking hiding?
Rowan Collins:What did do to me? Did
Joseph Diametti:you touch me?
Rowan Collins:No. We just we we brought you some coffee. He And then you can leave now. Goodbye.
Isaac Allen Burn:You're gonna, like, take me home or something?
Rowan Collins:I mean, I don't know where where
Annie Hawthorne:you live? Do you want us to know where you live?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I thought you asking
Annie Hawthorne:us to follow you home.
Isaac Allen Burn:You don't know who my dad is?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. We don't You
Isaac Allen Burn:don't even know who I am, do you?
Rowan Collins:No. We don't know who you are, and I don't really care at this moment. So, like, have your coffee, have a great one, and you can you can
Joseph Diametti:your dad.
Isaac Allen Burn:You don't know who my dad is? My dad? My dad's Edmund Zaston, the brother of the
Joseph Diametti:Viscount. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burn:At least the dead Viscount. My uncle died.
Rowan Collins:Oh, that sucks.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. Now my fucking older
Annie Hawthorne:deserved it.
Joseph Diametti:No. No. No. Craig.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Your uncle was kind of a dick.
Isaac Allen Burn:Right. My uncle
Joseph Diametti:was cool.
Isaac Allen Burn:My uncle let me smoke.
Rowan Collins:Well, it was so great meeting you. What did you say your name was? You didn't. I don't think so.
Isaac Allen Burn:My name is Antony Zestan.
Rowan Collins:Okay, Antony, aka Boner. What? That's not
Isaac Allen Burn:a fucking name.
Rowan Collins:You said you were named a Boner. You said you were the boner. You said it, not me.
Joseph Diametti:Let's just walk the kid home.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Where do you live?
Isaac Allen Burn:I live in the manors.
Rowan Collins:Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:It's the bridge they wrote because my dad's
Annie Hawthorne:fucking I'm gonna I'm like, gesture with my hand and bring out my magic hand and just grab this guy kid, like, by the back of his shirt and lift him up and start carrying him.
Isaac Allen Burn:Hey. Put me down. He's, like, kicking his legs.
Joseph Diametti:Put me down.
Annie Hawthorne:Taking you home. You asked us to take you home.
Isaac Allen Burn:That's just Yeah. But I wanna I wanna I I could walk. I don't usually carry me like I'm a baby or some shit.
Annie Hawthorne:Craig, that's not
Rowan Collins:how you carry me. Hurt. So as a doc doctor in training, I would recommend you take a little bit of a rest.
Joseph Diametti:Guys, put the kid down.
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. Put me down. I can walk on my own.
Annie Hawthorne:Fine. I put him down. I just drop him from, like, you know, like, three feet up.
Rowan Collins:Quake.
Isaac Allen Burn:He hits the ground and says, oh, my ankle bug. I dropped
Joseph Diametti:my ankle. Come on. Alright.
Rowan Collins:And I think I think Pistachio Marcus Dress to turn into a a chocobo dodo, essentially, and just, like, go under him and, like, pick him up and pull out a little riding chocobo and just, like, walk him.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, it's like my horses.
Rowan Collins:If you kick me, I swear to god.
Isaac Allen Burn:You think he thinks about it and then mush, steed. They points in front of him like this.
Rowan Collins:He didn't kick me.
Isaac Allen Burn:He didn't kick you. So You just pointed.
Rowan Collins:You're just gonna, like, slowly continue forward.
Isaac Allen Burn:You walk forward, and after about maybe twenty minutes of walking, you go through the streets of Al Geneba, you pass the various districts, and eventually you find yourself in the manors. It's this you can imagine the countryside in a period drama. Right? Just large swaths of land, some people living on it, some people working on it, but big palatial manors that kinda dot the countryside. And as you stroll up, it kinda directs you to the second largest one, the largest one, of course, being owned by the Balthazars, but this is the Zethons.
Isaac Allen Burn:They are not directly in line for the Viscounty, But sure enough, Edmund Zestan was the brother of the late Viscount. As you roll up, you hear the kid just kinda making conversation. And he's like, yeah. My dad's supposed to have, like, guests over or some shit. I don't understand.
Isaac Allen Burn:But I had more better things to do. I was gonna I was gonna raise an army. I was gonna raise a whole army. I was gonna take over Justane again.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah?
Isaac Allen Burn:Yeah. I was gonna do that.
Joseph Diametti:What were you gonna do with that army?
Isaac Allen Burn:I was gonna I was gonna take them over the mountains, we were gonna we were gonna kill all the Justane people.
Joseph Diametti:And then
Isaac Allen Burn:we were gonna make our country again.
Joseph Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burn:And my dad would be proud of me.
Joseph Diametti:How old are you, Anthony? What?
Isaac Allen Burn:How old are you? 15.
Joseph Diametti:15?
Isaac Allen Burn:He's actually 13. Yeah. I'm 15 years old. Okay. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burn:I'm old enough to raise an army.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. I didn't say you weren't.
Isaac Allen Burn:Okay. Yeah. No. Yeah. You get it.
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. That it's pretty cool that you did that.
Isaac Allen Burn:You got a light? Because that cigarette? I don't.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I have a light.
Isaac Allen Burn:Okay.
Annie Hawthorne:And I'm just gonna, like, step back a little bit. And I'm gonna, like, hold out my hand. And I'm just gonna will a flame to come out of my hand. Are
Isaac Allen Burn:you casting something?
Annie Hawthorne:I'm casting wild flame.
Rowan Collins:Nice. God.
Annie Hawthorne:I mean,
Rowan Collins:just a twerk. I don't know
Annie Hawthorne:what it's gonna do. I've never had magic before. I've never done this before.
Rowan Collins:Crank immediately gets fireball and just catches me on fire.
Annie Hawthorne:So, like, I I don't know how strong this is gonna be. Who knows? I just feel like I can probably make fire because I can do magic now. So I'm gonna hold my hand out. I'm gonna, like, will magic make a spell cast roll against up to three adversaries within melee range?
Annie Hawthorne:Targets you succeed against take two d six magic damage and must mark a stress as flames erupt from your hand.
Rowan Collins:I feel like I got caught in
Joseph Diametti:the rain.
Rowan Collins:It's on my back. Or You
Joseph Diametti:know what you're doing, buddy?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I'm I'm just gonna try to get the sky light. I can do magic now. Remember? Yeah. So what what's my spell cast for this?
Isaac Allen Burn:That's a great question.
Annie Hawthorne:Is it knowledge? I mean We're gonna say knowledge.
Isaac Allen Burn:That makes the most sense to me.
Annie Hawthorne:Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Annie Hawthorne:I don't have any hopes I can't use my experience.
Joseph Diametti:Alright. Anthony, I'm gonna need you just to hold that cigarette as high as you can above your head.
Isaac Allen Burn:You like
Annie Hawthorne:That's an eight fear.
Rowan Collins:I feel like I'm gonna smell like barbecue chicken. Wait.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see, the same way that a kid in class who's raising his hand for, like, being present but doesn't care, he just kinda holds it up, like, with just an elbow bent. He has a little shoulder at all, so it's right next to his face. And he rolled an eight with fear to to do mean, we know what happens. We know what happens. This kid takes a fireball right to the face.
Isaac Allen Burn:It burns and he's like, ah, freak. Ah, fuck.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, that was a lot stronger than I thought it would be.
Joseph Diametti:The little stubble he has is gone. There's no eyebrows. No eyebrows.
Isaac Allen Burn:He's like rolling on the ground.
Rowan Collins:Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Rowan Collins:Watch the dodo.
Annie Hawthorne:Sorry. I I didn't know that would happen.
Joseph Diametti:You burned my face. It kinda takes off the jackets, like, putting them out with it. Come on, man. But ah.
Isaac Allen Burn:Oh, well.
Annie Hawthorne:Gee, I told you I could do it.
Isaac Allen Burn:Thanks for fanning me off with your old jacket. That's really nice.
Annie Hawthorne:I can make magic now.
Joseph Diametti:Pistachio? Ow. Fuck. You
Isaac Allen Burn:alright? Do I have a scar? Does it look cool?
Joseph Diametti:Yeah. You look really cool, man. Oh, hell yeah.
Rowan Collins:Oh gosh. I why do I smell delicious, guys?
Isaac Allen Burn:You yeah. This guy gets back on the Toto. And just as you come into view, you look up and see this palatial manner, and you remember him saying that there were guests over this morning. They're meeting for brunch.
Joseph Diametti:Oh, fuck. And as No.
Isaac Allen Burn:You see the sun cresting. Someone's there early for breakfast. And sure enough
Joseph Diametti:I feel like I figured it out.
Isaac Allen Burn:You look over, and you see a carriage in front of it. You recognize the Apple people's carriage in front of this house, and that's where we'll end this session of Dodo Board. Tune in next time when we find out what happens. Uh-oh. Gonna see Garland.
Isaac Allen Burn:Uh-oh.
Annie Hawthorne:Is this the kid they're trying to marry her off to? Guess
Isaac Allen Burn:you have to find out. Oh, shit.
Rowan Collins:Oh Oh my my god. God.
Isaac Allen Burn:And that's all for Dodoborne this week, gang. Squawk on three two one. Squawk. Hey. It's podcast.
Isaac Allen Burn:Hey. It's podcast.