False Hope of Guaranteed Outcomes

This piece explores the common human tendency to seek guaranteed outcomes before taking action, stemming from childhood anxieties about uncertainty. It argues that true confidence comes from trusting one's ability to adapt to any situation, rather than waiting for external circumstances to be perfect.

Show Notes

When I was a young boy, I was worried about the uncertainty of things going on around me. We would go to the store, and I would be intensely focused on making sure my mom never left my sight. I would think, if I lost her, I might never get back home. I would worry that I would not be able to find food or a place to sleep. My sister would be running around, hiding, laughing, and playing like no care in the world, and I would be evaluating all possible threats and looking for ways to escape if that became necessary.

As I got older, I started to realize that even adults had little control over the outcomes in life. They may plan their trip, but ultimately happenstance, luck, fate, or just an accident would intervene, and all carefully made plans would be dashed to pieces. I saw this happen enough to where I concluded that no outcome could ever be guaranteed, and there was no safety net capable of holding up what life had to dump on you when it wanted to.

I have started to recognize this guaranteed outcome type of thinking. People often believe: "I will feel better when I know everything is going to work out." So they wait, and worry, and hedge, and hold onto what they have until they know for sure what the outcome is going to be. The folly in this belief system is that we have very little control on what life will provide, and so all the worry is pointless. A good plan is wise, a clear direction is also smart, but failing to even start because you do not know how it is going to end? That is silly.

Yet we do it all the time. There is a better way to think: I will be okay because I trust my ability to respond to whatever happens. Whereas the first way depends entirely on external circumstances being resolved before you can proceed, the latter puts the control with you, and this builds internal resolve. You don't need to convince yourself that everything will turn out well. You need to develop confidence that you can navigate outcomes that are less than ideal.

I do not remember exactly when I made the shift in my thinking, but it was sometime in my late teens and early twenties. I started believing that no matter what life threw at me, I could adapt. This thinking allowed me to free myself from over-analysis all the time and from failed starts because I wanted things to be perfect, meaning the outcome was guaranteed. I now understand that was a false hope, and as the years have gone on, I have built more resolve to take on risk, accept the uncertain, and charge ahead knowing that I can succeed, no matter what life throws at me.

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This is day 329 the false. Hope of guaranteed outcomes.
When I was a young boy, I was worried about the uncertainty of things going on around me.
We would go to the store and I would be intensely focused on making sure my mom never left my sight I would think if I lost her I might never get back home. I would worry that I would not be able to find food or a place to sleep.
My sister would be running around hiding laughing and playing like no care in the world and I would be evaluating all the possible threats and looking for ways to escape if that became necessary.
Because I got older I started to realize that even adults had little control over the over the outcome in their lives.
They may plan their trip, but ultimately happenstance luck fate or even just an accident would intervene and all carefully made plans would be dashed to pieces.
I saw this happen enough to where I concluded that no outcome could ever be guaranteed and there was no safety net capable of holding up. What life had to dump on you when it wanted to
I've started to recognize this guaranteed outcome type of thinking people often believe I will feel better when I know everything is going to work out and so they wait and worry and hedge and hold on to what they have until they know for sure. What outcome the outcome is going to be.
The Folly in this belief system is that we have very little control of what life will provide and so all the worry is just pointless.
A good plan is wise a clear direction is also smart but failing to even start because you do not know how it's going to end. That's just silly.
Yeah, we do it all the time.
There's a better way to think.
I will be okay because I trust my ability to respond to whatever happens.
Whereas the first way depends entirely on external circumstances being resolved before you can proceed the latter puts the control with you and this builds internal resolve.
You don't need to convince yourself that everything will turn out. Well, you need to develop confidence that you can navigate outcomes that are less than ideal.
I do not remember exactly when I made the shift and this thinking but it was some time in my late teens and early 20s.
I started believing that no matter what life threw at me I could adapt.
This thinking allowed me to free myself from over analysis all the time and from failed starts because I wanted things to be just perfect. Meaning the outcome was guaranteed.
Hi Now understand that this was false. Hope.
And as the years have gone on I built more resolved to take on risk, except the uncertain and change ahead and charge ahead already knowing that I can succeed no matter what life throws at me.