Jessie's World | Goodbye Hello - how to clean out negativity and welcome new blessings!

This transformative episode will help you identify blessing blockers in your life, determine what to do with them, and make room for new blessings, opportunities, and abundant experiences in your life. Have fun and enjoy. DM me on Instagram @JessicaVibez to share your transformation testimonial as I know this episode WILL change your life for the better. Love and light from your host Jessica Lambert.

Show Notes

Jessie’s World Podcast – Episode 24

Goodbye Hello – The Art of Letting Go

“Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it. (on the wall of a bedroom at a recovery house for alcoholics and drug addicts)” ― David Foster Wallace,

Happy New Year – and welcome to Jessie’s World podcast where we dig deep, keep it real, and heal so that we can enjoy unhindered upwardly mobile lives together. It’s 2023 and I am into my second year of podcasting, with episode 24 I bring new energy.

I am no longer dipping my toe into healing – I am diving in, and I invite you to come along.

I am Jessica Lambert or as known on Instagram, @JessicaVibez and I am your host.

I have deliberately released this episode later into the January as I know everyone was buzzing from the holidays, and started the new year with resolutions in a bungle, and how lovely.

However, now the dust from the holidays has settled and reality has once again come knocking on our doors, let’s have a difficult but honest chat about your resolutions for change this year…and what you REALLY will need to do go achieve SUCCESS.

Oh yes honey, we diving in to 2023 with a passion, they don’t call me The Self Success Strategist for nothing, my super power is helping Kings and Queens everywhere straighten their crowns and you are no exception…are you ready to work?

First, you know we are going to centre ourselves. When working on internal stuff, we must take a moment to connect from within.

A blessed and reliable way to achieve this internal connection is breath work and gratitude, and I never ever get tired of giving thanks – yesssss I give God thanks and praise every day and no matter how many time I say thank you I can always find another reason to thank and praise God again.

And Breathe…well you already know, if we have breathe we have life and so that is the very first thing we can give thanks for, deep breath in, deep breath out, and yes, let’s give thanks.

Going into a fresh new minute, hour, day, month, year WHAT are you thankful for.

Gratitude energy is so powerful.

I have ended many of my conversations with Love and Light this year, because that is what I want to spread and gift the world always.

What type of energy are you wanting to spread?

Let’s do a fun challenge today during our breathing exercise.

As you continue to breathe in, hold for four, out, hold for four.

I want you to list 10 things you are grateful for.

10 things that give you joy in this moment, that gave you joy this past year, that you have the opportunity to enjoy coming up.

They can be easy and obvious things that you regularly give thanks for, or more challenging experiences that you have been able to see light within.

For example

I am super grateful every single day of my life for:

My relationship with God and the tremendous role he has always played in my life. Growing up without a father, and losing my grandfather only six months or so after he rescued me from foster care when I was only four, somehow brought me closer to God. Even before that, God was in Foster care with me and though it was a very difficult time where I was alone and at risk constantly, I felt God’s protection and light in my life. This protection and light follows me to this day, and I know that I am the stone the earthly builder refused but that’s okay, because all I feel from God is his warm and loving embrace.

I am thankful every day that God blessed me with my son. The ability to have such a kind loving intelligent truly unique and remarkable individual as my son and my best friend is more gift than I could ever ask for and I forever feel like I won the child lottery I am so grateful and so very blessed.

I give thanks for my health, I have learned how precious health is and how deliberate you have to be when nurturing your mind body and soul. Take nothing for granted.

I am grateful for fresh air, clean water, and warm safe beautiful home.

I am thankful for my grandfather, though he passed away when I was young, his remarkable impact on my life left a legacy that is ever present in my heart and I always feel connected to him. Be there for the children in your world, it’s everything.

Which brings me to my God Children, nieces, nephews, and little cousins – the young people in my life, also those I take as little brothers and sisters, my fam I am super grateful for these special bonds they make life fuller, happier, and more exciting.

I am thankful for opportunity, we always have the opportunity to improve your day, your life, your career, your mindset – just opportunity alone is amazing.

I am grateful for creativity, how awesome that God gifted us with imagination and the ability to manifest and create inventions, music, works of art, products, and services that the day before were not on earth – what an amazing life he’s given us.

I am thankful for healing.

And as I hit over 3000 on my Instagram (follow me @JessicaVibez) I am grateful new friends and new relationships with likeminded upwardly mobile enterprising compassionate purposeful people who I click with and who really do add a depth and joy to my life. 2023 I definitely welcome new friends and business relationships.

I don’t know if I said 10…but I think I got close or even went over. Send me a DM on IG tell me the 10 things you are grateful for or comment on the gratitude challenge post I will make after I release this episode I can’t wait to hear you share.

So… now my friends, we have done the feel good things, we have remembered how awesome life is…time to talk about 2023 and DELIBERATELY set our INTENTION on what it will be yessssss let’s work.

So, new year, new goals, new vibes, new SPACE…

What do I mean?

Yes before we set our intention which is essentially shopping for the finest things we want in our life. We first must CLEAN OUT OUR CLOSET.

Yes, time to make ROOM for all the new awesome things we are about to invite into our life.

But, before we can do that – we need to chat.

This episode is dedicated to my sister Jeanette, she requested this topic specifically, I love you Jeanette, this is for you babe may you have a lovely year filled with real ones, gelato, Karaoke, cucumber and taziki and I hope to hug and laugh with you soon. I love you always my sister from another MR.

“You say goodbye I say hello” the Beetles.

Now, I am not sure the meaning of the song – feel free to write me and let me know.

But I do know that while cleaning out your proverbial closet sounds easy enough, it is something people really really struggle with, and because people struggle with this they actually delay doing it, sometimes never do it, and because their closet is packed full with people places things mindsets that no longer serve them and that are countering what the truly desire in life they end up living in the PAST and never being able to achieve the heights they designer.

YOU MUST SHAKE THE BRICKS OFF YOUR WINGS or you my friends, will NOT fly!!!

BUT HOW?

The Breakdown

“Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it. (on the wall of a bedroom at a recovery house for alcoholics and drug addicts)” ― David Foster Wallace.

I think I could have wrote the book on how to hold on to people long after the expiration date of your relationship. I could package and market sour milk to the lactose intolerant.

I remember the first time I heard that Davide Foster Wallace quote – It was printed in a Melody Beatie book that I purchased at an Alanon convention.

See, I come from a family where Alcoholism was a major issue. It’s why my mother did not raise me, and why I grew up seeing much more than I ever should have. Maybe it’s why it took the better part of a year for anyone to come and actually save me from what I experienced as a very abusive foster care system.

Having my father walk out of my life as a baby, my mom as a young child, my grandfather die shortly after saving me, and never having a stable home until my grandma made the decision that she would put her all into me (thank you Grandma, and thank you God) I learned young that EVERYTHING is precious and nothing is promised. I learned to hug everything I love so tight that I just may squeeze the life out of it.

I learned that I would rather horde and smother relationships that letting them breath and dance and laugh and live.

I saw that quote, “everything I ever let go of has claw marks on it” that David Foster Wallace wrote on the bedroom wall of a recovery house for Alcoholics and Addicts and I just cried.

I cried and cried and cried deep sobs from an unheald place I had effectively avoided before.

I may have been 17 years old. I wasn’t a mom yet. I was probably forced, I mean strongly encouraged by my mother who was now in recovery and had re entered my life at age 14 after a 10 year hiatus, to attend Alanon and learn skills to hear the immense pain neglect abuse and suffering I experienced at such a young age… and to heal my still painful abandonment wounds.

Geesh, I didn’t realize then what a long journey healing would be.

It quite literally is a life-time of work. I have always prided myself on being a life-long learner, and as I have evolved, and also through the miracle of this podcast Jessie’s World where I learn and grow with my listeners and IG followers regularly, I have realized I am very much a life-long healer too and I embrace it, I give thanks for it, because I am committed to a life of ever being present, mindful, and committed to becoming my best self. As set back is a setback, temporary. If I have life, I wake up and try again, you better believe it.

So, happy new year, we have some very exciting things coming my friends, in the near future I will announce some things I have been working on to help improve all our lives, I am so excited to uplift each other and to walk in brother and sisterhood on our life-long healing journey YESSSS.

My self-help journey really began when my mom came back into my life at age 14… by 17 the lightbulb turned on. The romantic relationship in my life with my soon to be son’s father (my son was shortly conceived after I encountered this profound David Foster Wallace quote) was the only man I pledged myself to. My first boyfriend, I decided I liked him when I was 11…he quiet literally had me at hello. Once I decided I was determined to have the fairytale romance with him I thought my grandparents had with each other. So, I didn’t give up on him. As he flitted about enjoying his notoriety as a junior high and high school basketball celebrity I stayed devout. By 14 I was officially his girlfriend, and by 18 I was carrying his child. We were young, and on retrospect it was completely insane of me to hold on to him so tight. Other women, breakups, rudeness, him moving away… nothing discouraged me from having that fairytale home and family. Yep at 14 I was sure I found the one. INSANE.

Now, of course, after years of healing and work I realize I just could not let go.

Every time we broke up I felt like my mother was leaving me on the steps of foster care all over again.

I would experience extreme anxiety. I could not breathe. And while I am sure I did love him and that’s why I was his girlfriend, it was my abandonment issues, my inability to say goodbye that kept me there long after the relationship had expired.

The good news is out of that relationship came the best gift God could give me, my son. I am ever grateful and I know that divine purpose is real.

After I had my son, surprisingly I was able to let go. I had discovered Alanon, had been impacted by this legendary quote, had seen that I truly did put claw marks on all I loved, and was willing to start releasing the death grip on all things precious to me – THANK GOD FOR GROWTH.

Since then, I have been learning to say goodbye and let go so that I could make way for better experiences in my life… but that does not mean that it has been easy.

I dedicated this episode to my sister Jeanette because we talk about this deep stuff, we get each other, and she agrees letting go of those we love so we can grow and heal is tremendously difficult. But I talk about this with others too. It’s a theme that comes up a lot, and so I knew, as we ushered in a new year that this was how I needed to help people begin…by letting go.

You say goodbye, I say hello. Hello to a new year. Hello to new opportunities. Hello to new places, people, things. To better ways of life. To miracles and blessings from God.

God has been waiting to pour blessings into your life. To filleth your cup with nice, fresh, clean alkaline water… but first you must empty the sugar laden artificial beverage that poses as a good time and slowly kills you from your cup honey…. Oh we getting real today, yessss.

Type 2 Diabetes is an issue of the cells being able to take in the insulin, it’s jam packed, it can’t take in anymore, so the new insulin has no where to go. To walk it back and heal yourself you must stop flooding your body with insulin. This means intermittent fasting, this means no artificial sugar or sweeteners, this means no processed food. I am not a doctor, this is my thoughts that I think – you check your own facts k. But, my point is …it is the same with lifestyle honey.

You can not rep your block in the hood soooooo hard that you block the mansion God is trying to give you.

You can not hold on to that dysfunctional relationship where you are undervalued and mistreated so hard that God can’t bring love and light joy appreciation and abundance into your life.

You must say goodbye to say hello – there is no other way my friends.

What are you willing to give up to get what you want? What you deserve?

Do no block your abundance by squeezing the life out of what you already know is NOT for you.

I always thought it took great courage to let go of those you love… but after being forced to say goodbye so many times in my life to friends, jobs, neighborhoods, boyfriends, I learned it’s such a blessing – such a cleansing experience. If it’s over, it’s over and I promise you God has already ordered better and it will come to your front door…wait for it!

All you have to do is let it gooooo…. Like a ballon…. Bye!

Of course, there are relationships worth mending, fighting for, and caring about.

But you do not want to have a death grip on soda when God has Champaign knocking at your front door… let it go.

So, how do you know what should stay in your life and what should go?

Okay, if something is causing you pain, discomfort, harm, blocking your blessings, bringing your negative energy on a regular, salting up your mood, hindering your progress in life FAMMMM it may be time to LET GO… or at least add it to your short list of may be on your way out of my life people places and things.

So, go within.

Reflect.

Who, what, when, where, how, and why your shortlist.

Look at everything.

How people make you feel – valued or unvalued? Loved or unloved? Hidden or celebrated? Taken for granted or unappreciated?

Are you protected or put at risk?

These are markers that make you know what you need to do.

If you go home everyday and there is mold in your place – something I have experienced and it can have life threatening consequences … MOVE even if it means higher rent… MOVE. If you own the place, remediate it. If your neighborhood isn’t safe… make an exist strategy.

NOTHING is more important than your inner peace and environmental safety…nothing Peace of mind is everything and safety and health allow you to dream and manifest a better tomorrow CHANGE WHAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE NOW!

If you are in a relationship romantically, with a friend, at work, or in your family that does not value you, that hurts you, attacks you, abuses you, targets you, or just has you stuck in an old box that you outgrew a long time ago – it may need to go on the short list.

Be careful of people who take pleasure in pigeonholing you to feed some archaic narrative of a person you stopped being long ago, they my be uncomfortable with your growth because a lack of their own growth, and may be unconsciously OR CONCIOUSLY attempting to ‘keep you in your place’ a place that keeps them comfortable not evolving.

As you walk with me here at Jessie’s World and we evolve together, people will see changes in you, and if they too are not evolving, you will see people remove themselves from your life. Darkness does not like to go to close to light or it disappears… let them go. Don’t attempt to hold them, you shine brighter when darkness is gone. Be the example, if they catch on they may just work on turning up the shine on their own light and then like Rihanna said “we shine together” but that may not happen and it’s out of your hands. Your job is to heal you. Develop you. And let go of anything that harms or hinders your development.

Okay… we have done a lot of work already.

We know – it’s a new year.

We will set some intentions for a very fabously year and life;

First we must make room for our coming blessings by letting go.

If this stage is hard, lean on God. Let go and let God.

I am sure you don’t think you know better than God right…

So, give it to GOD and you are free to focus on exactly what YOUR JOB IS…which is developing YOU!

If this part has been hard, don’t worry it will get easier.

You will get so healthy that in the future when you see red flags you will distance yourself much faster and it will be much easier to let go.

Remember to trust yourself. Part of not being able to let go is not being able to hear your intuition, and even if you do hear it, not trusting yourself enough to listen to and act on it.

For people who have had difficult childhoods, often we blame ourselves. We had to when we were young. It’s the only way you can eat dinner with the same person who just harmed you. It’s the only way you can survive. Now, we are adults, we do not need to have dinner with someone who harmed us to survive, in fact, the best opportunity for us to survive is to NOT have dinner with them, and to let them go.

The rules are different now. And as we set our intention for the new minute, hour, day, month, year…. We will also shift our goals from survival to THRIVING… because we deserve the VERY BEST.

Say it with me.

I DESERVE THE VERY BEST!!!!

Also, a note on vibez.

I literally go by Jessica Vibez so obviously vibez are very important to me.

It’s our sixth sense and should be keenly developed.

I read energy. I work off of vibes. You can say anything you want to me, I am moving off of energy. Is it authentic. Do I believe you. Can I trust you. If your energy is constantly drained or pulled down by someone it’s not a fit – keep it moving. If it’s someone you have trouble detaching from like a parent an employer etc then love them from afar, take a healthy distance, or take periodic breaths to re-energize and pay attention to self-care after being around these energy vampires. Some people do no know they are draining you, we have all done it to some degree to others, so maybe being honest about it with them may help. Tell them you feel low energy after chatting and see if you can’t shift it together. But if they are not game, and the relationship matters, then make sure you put mechanisms in to care for you in the process.

So we now have a short list… what next.

I like to consider it like a bank system.

If someone has added (in the past) or adds a lot of value to your life they have made several deposits and thus have a positive balance in the bank of YOU…soooo if there are some small or even one major issue you may be able to use some of that banked good will to work through it and come out on the other end strong… isn’t it a wonderful life.

But, if someone just der pon the scene and is already trying to frequently make many withdrawals from your bank of good will…honey those flags are not red they are on fire RUNNNNN.

I had a family member come into my life and take and take and take and I gave graciously. I said no a couple times and watched them turn more ignorant than I ever seen anyone be ever to me. I said no no honey, you have not deposited enough into my beautiful bank of good will to be going on wild like this child, let me show you the exit and do not return thanks!

However, I have also had people who have loved and nurtured me and who I have loved and been there for too and then we fall out over a misunderstanding or maybe they are flat out wrong, or maybe they just don’t put work into the relationship like I do, but I remember all their deposits. I am a grateful person and I value those who value me. So maybe they need some deposits. I am game. Maybe life isn’t easy for them. Everyone makes mistakes. I got you booboo put up your feet and let me fan you…hold up I’ma grab some grapes too. Yessss people who deposit into your bank of good will deserve to be cut some slack if they can’t make a deposit or even if they took a big withdrawal…but the question is HOW BIG???

DEAL BREAKERS

To-Do lists keep people on track, and deal breaker lists helps ensure you don’t allow your wounded child to drive the adult bus in your life.

It’s one thing to forgive someone who has deposited lots of good will into your life. It’s another to put yourself in harms way.

You must have a short but very non-negotiable list of deal breakers that allows you to know exactly when someone needs to bypass the shortlist and be ushered by security straight to the exit from your life… do not pass go!

My short list in a relationship for example is… yes men listen up:

Non negotiables include:

DO NOT HIT ME – no honey, no form of physical violence will ever be okay with me. My heart glows so bright and I am so authentic and pure intentioned it would quite literally be like kicking a bunny rabbit and I am not here for it – SECURITY!!!

Next…

DO NOT CHEAT ON ME – the moment your P enters another V you have now encountered the magical vortex where you immediately teleport right the hell out of my life. Yes if hitting his the worst thing you can do… cheating is the worst of the worst because if you choose the wrong person to cheat with we can BOTH die… noooo sir if fidelity is not your thing let me know up front and I can decide myself if I can rock with you or not and if I do at least I know how to properly protect myself and if I don’t we can be great friends…something we will likely NOT be if you cheat!

Others include do not break the law, we grown, and there is absolutely NOTHING cute about legal problems – best believe.

Do not lie – again we are grown and adults have earned the right to speak their truth and live their truth I can either rock wit it or not, don’t try to rob me of my choices and I will return the courtesy – thanks.

When it comes to family and friends you may have other types of boundaries such as:

· See my growth and honor it, don’t try and hold me in an old box that I worked hard to outgrow

· Speak to me with respect – I can’t stand someone who goes off over nothing and swears it’s tough to take disrespect, there are a limited number of times I can really look past it without wondering if you need to be shortlisted, real talk

· Be authentic – this include not being competitive because if I love you and you love me why do I need to steal your shine or visa vera how about mutual upliftment

· Be on each other’s team – I have been on many a teams where I put my heart and soul into it and then when I need some elbow grease to manifest my dreams I am left with an mostly empty room of a couple loyal folks and some crickets and me. That’s wack! I am not one to ask for much so if I do…please try and have my back like I got yours – thanks.

Now that you have crafted your short list, and your list of nonnegotiable boundaries, it becomes math. The beauty about math is numbers do not lie, and they are not nostalgic or emotional.

Shortlist – Non Negotiable boundary offenders = your shorter list.

Shorter list + good will deposited will take someone off short list and onto WATCH list – just give that relationship extra effort, care, concern maybe have an honest conversation and try to elevate it to a frequency that vibes on the level you have grown to.

If they have been withdrawing with no notable deposits, it’s time to show them to the same door the non-negotiable boundary offenders just exited through.

NOW my friends, do the same with places, and things (yes this is for people, places, and things that are hindering you – they all need to go through this process, we really cleaning out the closes like Em up in this podcast okay) and you will be left with LOT of clean fresh happy healthy space for GOD’s BLESSINGS!!!

Which brings us to our final part of today’s podcast…

Setting our intentions:

1. Fly with me – welcome to my private get Air Vibez where I will transport you to this coming new year’s eve… as you give thanks for the amazing year you had what are some of the things you want to give thanks for… write them down

2. Now tell me WHY…

If you are giving thanks for health… why was that on your list? Were you facing health issues? What tangible steps did you take to bring you to resolution where you are free from the issue an enjoying a totally healthy life?

If you are giving thanks for a million dollars…why was that on your list? Are you struggling financially, or do you have a business baby that you want to raise to maturity this year? What steps did you take to manifest?

Writing the reason why will keep you motivated throughout the year, even during tough or hectic times where it’s easy to drop the ball. I have ADHD and need strategic ways to keep myself focused on my goals… knowing my why definitely helps.

Get deep with your why. What is at the root of it? Open your heart and be authentic. This authentic connection to what you are manifesting will bring it so much closer to you and really help attract it into your life. It shifts your WHAT from an airy fairy nice to have to a real burning desire and necessity in your life. Now THAT is setting an intention!

Now that you feel very close to what you want… take it a step further and visualize yourself achieving it. Feel yourself moving into that new home – does it have a pool. Put on a bathing suit, visualize yourself swimming in the pool, do the arm movements. You can not go too far to feel the feeling, to be there already. Tony Robins trainer Peter Sage speaks about manifesting his first luxury vehicle… he said that when he purchased it later that year he was asked if he was excited and he replied, no I have been driving it all year you are just now seeing it. Every time he got in his hooptie he visualized himself entering his luxury vehicle, he felt the wind in his hair, he saw people’s look of admiration of his very cool top line vehicle, all while traveling the hooptie express. That’s what it takes. Put yourself in that moment, feel your total health, your abundance, your joy, all the emotions… feel it all… make it real on an energetic level… and it’s like ordering a pizza, it will soon be at your door.

Having experienced the true feeling of having it…do you indeed still want it? Sometimes we think we want something but really its’ an old dream we outgrew, or our family wants it, or we think we SHOULD want it… make sure that when you set your intentions you are actually inviting the life you want into your world and not some other catastrophe. Be careful, be authentic, be intentional.

Now that you are clear on your intentions, have thought about it, have felt it, have decided it is what you want…. Commit!

COMMIT TO YOUR INTENTION. Accept nothing but YES… and be prepared to do whatever it takes to manifest!

I also suffer from anxiety … so the next step … knowing HOW really helps prevent overwhelm which prevents procrastination which puts me on the fast private Air Vize jet to success.

You have the What, Why, Commitment, and How… now it’s time to infuse intentional daily practices and behaviors that will help keep you on track, focused, and safely flying Air Vibez all the way to your luxury designation.

Weather it be phone reminders, to do list, hiring help, building new relationships, joining clubs, finding a workout buddy, or other actions, depending on what it is you want to manifest time to get tactical tangible and infuse a daily does of forward moving actions into your life.

Pretty soon you will be sending me a post card from I can’t believe I am actually here thank you Jessica Vibez villa and I can’t wait to receive it. Save me a fruity drink.

These steps sound simple enough but if methodically followed they will put you ahead of the game as so many people do not even take these simple steps.

Good luck, and happy new minute, new hour, new day, new month, new year.

It does not matter when you are listening, and it does not have to be a new year, anytime is a good time to clean house and invite the good vibez in.

Love and light, I am your host Jessica Lambert follow me on Instagram and Jessica Vibez and I look forward to meeting you at the next episode of Jessies World. Please remember to hit that subscribe button, like, follow and share it goes a long way and helps me share my passionate and positive message of healing, of love, and of light.

Remember, you deserve the best… so make room for it in your life because trust me, God wants to give it to you! Love and light always I hope you enjoyed this episode. I know it was packed with great actionable info that will transform your life so run it back as many times as you need – you are more than worth the effort!

I’m Jessica Vibez with a Z saying happy 2023!

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What is Jessie's World?

Welcome to Jessie's World - a weekly variety show that takes us through Jessie's Wheel of Life including Community, Fun, Health & Wellness, Entrepreneurship, Relationships, and Personal Development. Each segment brings a different flavor, making it interesting and engaging. The host Jessica Lambert aka @jessicavibez keeps it conversational and weaves humor though light and heavier topics. Special guests come from all walks of life and may surprise you. The ultimate goal of the show is to entertain, inspire, uplift, and assist us all (host included) in becoming our best selves. You get new, entertainment, wellness, and inspiration all in one great show.

Segments Include:
Tessy Time (Community) - real talks about current societal issues.
Mrs. Write (Fun) - a freestyle on-air comical writing segment where computer generated prompts are turned into master poems, songs, and short stories right on the spot.
Big Boss Vibez (Career Health) - let's talk all things entrepreneurship and bring our businesses to new heights
Today's Topic (and sometimes - Guest) - This segment covers a variety of topics that are aimed at peeking curiosity, inspiring, motivating, supporting, and most of all assisting listeners in becoming their best selves.
Gods N Goddesses (Health and Wellness) - travel inwards to center yourself. Let's focus on the personal care and wellness items that will help ensure you maximize your quality of life. A peer learning and sharing segment we grow together.
Love, Fam, N Family (Relationships) - let's share stories of human impact and the importance of leading with love.
Quote of the day.
Affirmation
Outro.

Listener interaction is encouraged. If you have show suggestions or would like to be a guest on our show you can send your request on Instagram @jessicavibez or @jessiesworldxo you may also visit www.platinumrouge.com/jessies-world

Jessie’s World Podcast – Episode 24
Goodbye Hello – The Art of Letting Go
“Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it. (on the wall of a bedroom at a recovery house for alcoholics and drug addicts)” ― David Foster Wallace,
Happy New Year – and welcome to Jessie’s World podcast where we dig deep, keep it real, and heal so that we can enjoy unhindered upwardly mobile lives together. It’s 2023 and I am into my second year of podcasting, with episode 24 I bring new energy.
I am no longer dipping my toe into healing – I am diving in, and I invite you to come along.
I am Jessica Lambert or as known on Instagram, @JessicaVibez and I am your host.
I have deliberately released this episode later into the January as I know everyone was buzzing from the holidays, and started the new year with resolutions in a bungle, and how lovely.
However, now the dust from the holidays has settled and reality has once again come knocking on our doors, let’s have a difficult but honest chat about your resolutions for change this year…and what you REALLY will need to do go achieve SUCCESS.
Oh yes honey, we diving in to 2023 with a passion, they don’t call me The Self Success Strategist for nothing, my super power is helping Kings and Queens everywhere straighten their crowns and you are no exception…are you ready to work?
First, you know we are going to centre ourselves. When working on internal stuff, we must take a moment to connect from within.
A blessed and reliable way to achieve this internal connection is breath work and gratitude, and I never ever get tired of giving thanks – yesssss I give God thanks and praise every day and no matter how many time I say thank you I can always find another reason to thank and praise God again.
And Breathe…well you already know, if we have breathe we have life and so that is the very first thing we can give thanks for, deep breath in, deep breath out, and yes, let’s give thanks.
Going into a fresh new minute, hour, day, month, year WHAT are you thankful for.
Gratitude energy is so powerful.
I have ended many of my conversations with Love and Light this year, because that is what I want to spread and gift the world always.
What type of energy are you wanting to spread?
Let’s do a fun challenge today during our breathing exercise.
As you continue to breathe in, hold for four, out, hold for four.
I want you to list 10 things you are grateful for.
10 things that give you joy in this moment, that gave you joy this past year, that you have the opportunity to enjoy coming up.
They can be easy and obvious things that you regularly give thanks for, or more challenging experiences that you have been able to see light within.
For example
I am super grateful every single day of my life for:
My relationship with God and the tremendous role he has always played in my life. Growing up without a father, and losing my grandfather only six months or so after he rescued me from foster care when I was only four, somehow brought me closer to God. Even before that, God was in Foster care with me and though it was a very difficult time where I was alone and at risk constantly, I felt God’s protection and light in my life. This protection and light follows me to this day, and I know that I am the stone the earthly builder refused but that’s okay, because all I feel from God is his warm and loving embrace.
I am thankful every day that God blessed me with my son. The ability to have such a kind loving intelligent truly unique and remarkable individual as my son and my best friend is more gift than I could ever ask for and I forever feel like I won the child lottery I am so grateful and so very blessed.
I give thanks for my health, I have learned how precious health is and how deliberate you have to be when nurturing your mind body and soul. Take nothing for granted.
I am grateful for fresh air, clean water, and warm safe beautiful home.
I am thankful for my grandfather, though he passed away when I was young, his remarkable impact on my life left a legacy that is ever present in my heart and I always feel connected to him. Be there for the children in your world, it’s everything.
Which brings me to my God Children, nieces, nephews, and little cousins – the young people in my life, also those I take as little brothers and sisters, my fam I am super grateful for these special bonds they make life fuller, happier, and more exciting.
I am thankful for opportunity, we always have the opportunity to improve your day, your life, your career, your mindset – just opportunity alone is amazing.
I am grateful for creativity, how awesome that God gifted us with imagination and the ability to manifest and create inventions, music, works of art, products, and services that the day before were not on earth – what an amazing life he’s given us.
I am thankful for healing.
And as I hit over 3000 on my Instagram (follow me @JessicaVibez) I am grateful new friends and new relationships with likeminded upwardly mobile enterprising compassionate purposeful people who I click with and who really do add a depth and joy to my life. 2023 I definitely welcome new friends and business relationships.
I don’t know if I said 10…but I think I got close or even went over. Send me a DM on IG tell me the 10 things you are grateful for or comment on the gratitude challenge post I will make after I release this episode I can’t wait to hear you share.

So… now my friends, we have done the feel good things, we have remembered how awesome life is…time to talk about 2023 and DELIBERATELY set our INTENTION on what it will be yessssss let’s work.
So, new year, new goals, new vibes, new SPACE…
What do I mean?
Yes before we set our intention which is essentially shopping for the finest things we want in our life. We first must CLEAN OUT OUR CLOSET.
Yes, time to make ROOM for all the new awesome things we are about to invite into our life.
But, before we can do that – we need to chat.
This episode is dedicated to my sister Jeanette, she requested this topic specifically, I love you Jeanette, this is for you babe may you have a lovely year filled with real ones, gelato, Karaoke, cucumber and taziki and I hope to hug and laugh with you soon. I love you always my sister from another MR.
“You say goodbye I say hello” the Beetles.
Now, I am not sure the meaning of the song – feel free to write me and let me know.
But I do know that while cleaning out your proverbial closet sounds easy enough, it is something people really really struggle with, and because people struggle with this they actually delay doing it, sometimes never do it, and because their closet is packed full with people places things mindsets that no longer serve them and that are countering what the truly desire in life they end up living in the PAST and never being able to achieve the heights they designer.
YOU MUST SHAKE THE BRICKS OFF YOUR WINGS or you my friends, will NOT fly!!!
BUT HOW?
The Breakdown
“Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it. (on the wall of a bedroom at a recovery house for alcoholics and drug addicts)” ― David Foster Wallace.
I think I could have wrote the book on how to hold on to people long after the expiration date of your relationship. I could package and market sour milk to the lactose intolerant.
I remember the first time I heard that Davide Foster Wallace quote – It was printed in a Melody Beatie book that I purchased at an Alanon convention.
See, I come from a family where Alcoholism was a major issue. It’s why my mother did not raise me, and why I grew up seeing much more than I ever should have. Maybe it’s why it took the better part of a year for anyone to come and actually save me from what I experienced as a very abusive foster care system.
Having my father walk out of my life as a baby, my mom as a young child, my grandfather die shortly after saving me, and never having a stable home until my grandma made the decision that she would put her all into me (thank you Grandma, and thank you God) I learned young that EVERYTHING is precious and nothing is promised. I learned to hug everything I love so tight that I just may squeeze the life out of it.
I learned that I would rather horde and smother relationships that letting them breath and dance and laugh and live.
I saw that quote, “everything I ever let go of has claw marks on it” that David Foster Wallace wrote on the bedroom wall of a recovery house for Alcoholics and Addicts and I just cried.
I cried and cried and cried deep sobs from an unheald place I had effectively avoided before.
I may have been 17 years old. I wasn’t a mom yet. I was probably forced, I mean strongly encouraged by my mother who was now in recovery and had re entered my life at age 14 after a 10 year hiatus, to attend Alanon and learn skills to hear the immense pain neglect abuse and suffering I experienced at such a young age… and to heal my still painful abandonment wounds.
Geesh, I didn’t realize then what a long journey healing would be.
It quite literally is a life-time of work. I have always prided myself on being a life-long learner, and as I have evolved, and also through the miracle of this podcast Jessie’s World where I learn and grow with my listeners and IG followers regularly, I have realized I am very much a life-long healer too and I embrace it, I give thanks for it, because I am committed to a life of ever being present, mindful, and committed to becoming my best self. As set back is a setback, temporary. If I have life, I wake up and try again, you better believe it.
So, happy new year, we have some very exciting things coming my friends, in the near future I will announce some things I have been working on to help improve all our lives, I am so excited to uplift each other and to walk in brother and sisterhood on our life-long healing journey YESSSS.
My self-help journey really began when my mom came back into my life at age 14… by 17 the lightbulb turned on. The romantic relationship in my life with my soon to be son’s father (my son was shortly conceived after I encountered this profound David Foster Wallace quote) was the only man I pledged myself to. My first boyfriend, I decided I liked him when I was 11…he quiet literally had me at hello. Once I decided I was determined to have the fairytale romance with him I thought my grandparents had with each other. So, I didn’t give up on him. As he flitted about enjoying his notoriety as a junior high and high school basketball celebrity I stayed devout. By 14 I was officially his girlfriend, and by 18 I was carrying his child. We were young, and on retrospect it was completely insane of me to hold on to him so tight. Other women, breakups, rudeness, him moving away… nothing discouraged me from having that fairytale home and family. Yep at 14 I was sure I found the one. INSANE.
Now, of course, after years of healing and work I realize I just could not let go.
Every time we broke up I felt like my mother was leaving me on the steps of foster care all over again.
I would experience extreme anxiety. I could not breathe. And while I am sure I did love him and that’s why I was his girlfriend, it was my abandonment issues, my inability to say goodbye that kept me there long after the relationship had expired.
The good news is out of that relationship came the best gift God could give me, my son. I am ever grateful and I know that divine purpose is real.
After I had my son, surprisingly I was able to let go. I had discovered Alanon, had been impacted by this legendary quote, had seen that I truly did put claw marks on all I loved, and was willing to start releasing the death grip on all things precious to me – THANK GOD FOR GROWTH.
Since then, I have been learning to say goodbye and let go so that I could make way for better experiences in my life… but that does not mean that it has been easy.
I dedicated this episode to my sister Jeanette because we talk about this deep stuff, we get each other, and she agrees letting go of those we love so we can grow and heal is tremendously difficult. But I talk about this with others too. It’s a theme that comes up a lot, and so I knew, as we ushered in a new year that this was how I needed to help people begin…by letting go.
You say goodbye, I say hello. Hello to a new year. Hello to new opportunities. Hello to new places, people, things. To better ways of life. To miracles and blessings from God.
God has been waiting to pour blessings into your life. To filleth your cup with nice, fresh, clean alkaline water… but first you must empty the sugar laden artificial beverage that poses as a good time and slowly kills you from your cup honey…. Oh we getting real today, yessss.
Type 2 Diabetes is an issue of the cells being able to take in the insulin, it’s jam packed, it can’t take in anymore, so the new insulin has no where to go. To walk it back and heal yourself you must stop flooding your body with insulin. This means intermittent fasting, this means no artificial sugar or sweeteners, this means no processed food. I am not a doctor, this is my thoughts that I think – you check your own facts k. But, my point is …it is the same with lifestyle honey.
You can not rep your block in the hood soooooo hard that you block the mansion God is trying to give you.
You can not hold on to that dysfunctional relationship where you are undervalued and mistreated so hard that God can’t bring love and light joy appreciation and abundance into your life.
You must say goodbye to say hello – there is no other way my friends.
What are you willing to give up to get what you want? What you deserve?
Do no block your abundance by squeezing the life out of what you already know is NOT for you.
I always thought it took great courage to let go of those you love… but after being forced to say goodbye so many times in my life to friends, jobs, neighborhoods, boyfriends, I learned it’s such a blessing – such a cleansing experience. If it’s over, it’s over and I promise you God has already ordered better and it will come to your front door…wait for it!
All you have to do is let it gooooo…. Like a ballon…. Bye!
Of course, there are relationships worth mending, fighting for, and caring about.
But you do not want to have a death grip on soda when God has Champaign knocking at your front door… let it go.
So, how do you know what should stay in your life and what should go?
Okay, if something is causing you pain, discomfort, harm, blocking your blessings, bringing your negative energy on a regular, salting up your mood, hindering your progress in life FAMMMM it may be time to LET GO… or at least add it to your short list of may be on your way out of my life people places and things.
So, go within.
Reflect.
Who, what, when, where, how, and why your shortlist.
Look at everything.
How people make you feel – valued or unvalued? Loved or unloved? Hidden or celebrated? Taken for granted or unappreciated?
Are you protected or put at risk?
These are markers that make you know what you need to do.
If you go home everyday and there is mold in your place – something I have experienced and it can have life threatening consequences … MOVE even if it means higher rent… MOVE. If you own the place, remediate it. If your neighborhood isn’t safe… make an exist strategy.
NOTHING is more important than your inner peace and environmental safety…nothing Peace of mind is everything and safety and health allow you to dream and manifest a better tomorrow CHANGE WHAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE NOW!
If you are in a relationship romantically, with a friend, at work, or in your family that does not value you, that hurts you, attacks you, abuses you, targets you, or just has you stuck in an old box that you outgrew a long time ago – it may need to go on the short list.
Be careful of people who take pleasure in pigeonholing you to feed some archaic narrative of a person you stopped being long ago, they my be uncomfortable with your growth because a lack of their own growth, and may be unconsciously OR CONCIOUSLY attempting to ‘keep you in your place’ a place that keeps them comfortable not evolving.
As you walk with me here at Jessie’s World and we evolve together, people will see changes in you, and if they too are not evolving, you will see people remove themselves from your life. Darkness does not like to go to close to light or it disappears… let them go. Don’t attempt to hold them, you shine brighter when darkness is gone. Be the example, if they catch on they may just work on turning up the shine on their own light and then like Rihanna said “we shine together” but that may not happen and it’s out of your hands. Your job is to heal you. Develop you. And let go of anything that harms or hinders your development.
Okay… we have done a lot of work already.
We know – it’s a new year.
We will set some intentions for a very fabously year and life;
First we must make room for our coming blessings by letting go.
If this stage is hard, lean on God. Let go and let God.
I am sure you don’t think you know better than God right…
So, give it to GOD and you are free to focus on exactly what YOUR JOB IS…which is developing YOU!
If this part has been hard, don’t worry it will get easier.
You will get so healthy that in the future when you see red flags you will distance yourself much faster and it will be much easier to let go.
Remember to trust yourself. Part of not being able to let go is not being able to hear your intuition, and even if you do hear it, not trusting yourself enough to listen to and act on it.
For people who have had difficult childhoods, often we blame ourselves. We had to when we were young. It’s the only way you can eat dinner with the same person who just harmed you. It’s the only way you can survive. Now, we are adults, we do not need to have dinner with someone who harmed us to survive, in fact, the best opportunity for us to survive is to NOT have dinner with them, and to let them go.
The rules are different now. And as we set our intention for the new minute, hour, day, month, year…. We will also shift our goals from survival to THRIVING… because we deserve the VERY BEST.
Say it with me.
I DESERVE THE VERY BEST!!!!
Also, a note on vibez.
I literally go by Jessica Vibez so obviously vibez are very important to me.
It’s our sixth sense and should be keenly developed.
I read energy. I work off of vibes. You can say anything you want to me, I am moving off of energy. Is it authentic. Do I believe you. Can I trust you. If your energy is constantly drained or pulled down by someone it’s not a fit – keep it moving. If it’s someone you have trouble detaching from like a parent an employer etc then love them from afar, take a healthy distance, or take periodic breaths to re-energize and pay attention to self-care after being around these energy vampires. Some people do no know they are draining you, we have all done it to some degree to others, so maybe being honest about it with them may help. Tell them you feel low energy after chatting and see if you can’t shift it together. But if they are not game, and the relationship matters, then make sure you put mechanisms in to care for you in the process.
So we now have a short list… what next.
I like to consider it like a bank system.
If someone has added (in the past) or adds a lot of value to your life they have made several deposits and thus have a positive balance in the bank of YOU…soooo if there are some small or even one major issue you may be able to use some of that banked good will to work through it and come out on the other end strong… isn’t it a wonderful life.
But, if someone just der pon the scene and is already trying to frequently make many withdrawals from your bank of good will…honey those flags are not red they are on fire RUNNNNN.
I had a family member come into my life and take and take and take and I gave graciously. I said no a couple times and watched them turn more ignorant than I ever seen anyone be ever to me. I said no no honey, you have not deposited enough into my beautiful bank of good will to be going on wild like this child, let me show you the exit and do not return thanks!
However, I have also had people who have loved and nurtured me and who I have loved and been there for too and then we fall out over a misunderstanding or maybe they are flat out wrong, or maybe they just don’t put work into the relationship like I do, but I remember all their deposits. I am a grateful person and I value those who value me. So maybe they need some deposits. I am game. Maybe life isn’t easy for them. Everyone makes mistakes. I got you booboo put up your feet and let me fan you…hold up I’ma grab some grapes too. Yessss people who deposit into your bank of good will deserve to be cut some slack if they can’t make a deposit or even if they took a big withdrawal…but the question is HOW BIG???
DEAL BREAKERS
To-Do lists keep people on track, and deal breaker lists helps ensure you don’t allow your wounded child to drive the adult bus in your life.
It’s one thing to forgive someone who has deposited lots of good will into your life. It’s another to put yourself in harms way.
You must have a short but very non-negotiable list of deal breakers that allows you to know exactly when someone needs to bypass the shortlist and be ushered by security straight to the exit from your life… do not pass go!
My short list in a relationship for example is… yes men listen up:
Non negotiables include:
DO NOT HIT ME – no honey, no form of physical violence will ever be okay with me. My heart glows so bright and I am so authentic and pure intentioned it would quite literally be like kicking a bunny rabbit and I am not here for it – SECURITY!!!
Next…
DO NOT CHEAT ON ME – the moment your P enters another V you have now encountered the magical vortex where you immediately teleport right the hell out of my life. Yes if hitting his the worst thing you can do… cheating is the worst of the worst because if you choose the wrong person to cheat with we can BOTH die… noooo sir if fidelity is not your thing let me know up front and I can decide myself if I can rock with you or not and if I do at least I know how to properly protect myself and if I don’t we can be great friends…something we will likely NOT be if you cheat!
Others include do not break the law, we grown, and there is absolutely NOTHING cute about legal problems – best believe.
Do not lie – again we are grown and adults have earned the right to speak their truth and live their truth I can either rock wit it or not, don’t try to rob me of my choices and I will return the courtesy – thanks.
When it comes to family and friends you may have other types of boundaries such as:
• See my growth and honor it, don’t try and hold me in an old box that I worked hard to outgrow
• Speak to me with respect – I can’t stand someone who goes off over nothing and swears it’s tough to take disrespect, there are a limited number of times I can really look past it without wondering if you need to be shortlisted, real talk
• Be authentic – this include not being competitive because if I love you and you love me why do I need to steal your shine or visa vera how about mutual upliftment
• Be on each other’s team – I have been on many a teams where I put my heart and soul into it and then when I need some elbow grease to manifest my dreams I am left with an mostly empty room of a couple loyal folks and some crickets and me. That’s wack! I am not one to ask for much so if I do…please try and have my back like I got yours – thanks.
Now that you have crafted your short list, and your list of nonnegotiable boundaries, it becomes math. The beauty about math is numbers do not lie, and they are not nostalgic or emotional.
Shortlist – Non Negotiable boundary offenders = your shorter list.
Shorter list + good will deposited will take someone off short list and onto WATCH list – just give that relationship extra effort, care, concern maybe have an honest conversation and try to elevate it to a frequency that vibes on the level you have grown to.
If they have been withdrawing with no notable deposits, it’s time to show them to the same door the non-negotiable boundary offenders just exited through.
NOW my friends, do the same with places, and things (yes this is for people, places, and things that are hindering you – they all need to go through this process, we really cleaning out the closes like Em up in this podcast okay) and you will be left with LOT of clean fresh happy healthy space for GOD’s BLESSINGS!!!
Which brings us to our final part of today’s podcast…
Setting our intentions:
1. Fly with me – welcome to my private get Air Vibez where I will transport you to this coming new year’s eve… as you give thanks for the amazing year you had what are some of the things you want to give thanks for… write them down
2. Now tell me WHY…
If you are giving thanks for health… why was that on your list? Were you facing health issues? What tangible steps did you take to bring you to resolution where you are free from the issue an enjoying a totally healthy life?
If you are giving thanks for a million dollars…why was that on your list? Are you struggling financially, or do you have a business baby that you want to raise to maturity this year? What steps did you take to manifest?