The Reckoning of Becoming

Becoming sounds glamorous. It is not.

It is a breaking point. A line in the sand. A moment where you stop asking what you can handle and start asking who you are becoming.

In this episode, I talk about the tension between proving yourself and choosing yourself. I share what it feels like when growth creates pressure instead of relief. When old patterns fall away. When even simple tasks feel heavy.

This is about the inner child who was ignored. The part of you who learned to push harder instead of feel safer. The moment you decide to protect her instead of betray her.

Becoming is not a glow up. It is a reckoning.

What is My Inner Musings?

My Inner Musings is a space for the thoughts we often keep to ourselves.
I talk out loud about life, relationships, change, and the patterns we notice as we grow.
These are real reflections from a lived life, shared with honesty, humour, and curiosity.
Nothing is polished. Nothing is solved.
Just honest musings, spoken in real time.

 Nobody tells you that with becoming, there's a reckoning, a point of no return, that you're gonna be tested to the best of your ability. Points of choosing what you could handle versus who you're becoming, making choices that'll fit your system that you know would burn yourself out if you did. We've all been through stuff we never wanna do again.
And now the pressure's on, you can feel the momentum. But now you have to choose. Choose whether to prove yourself or choose yourself. And when you choose yourself, things fall apart. Things fall away way everyday. Chores become heavy. You can feel it. You question everything. Am I doing what's right for me?
Or am I trying to fill the needs of that tiny human inside me who wasn't honored all those years ago? Am I going to betray her again by pushing even harder, or am I going to protect her, protect her sanctity, and move at a rhythm that owns her place and her peace like no one else did? There's a yearning.
It's like setting fire to an outdated institution. That no longer serves her, and you're at the gates. She's waiting for you to honor her, and when you do, it's not gonna feel like a wave of relief. It'll feel confusing, even nauseating, but knowing that you were doing right by her, like the many who didn't before you weren't trying to save her.
You are choosing to allow her to trust you, to feel the safety she hasn't felt in this lifetime. The safety of knowing that she matters, she's worthy, she has a voice, and she's finally heard. She leads. She's the main character of the story. You allow her to rise up and step into her power, step into her glory, and that's how the beginning of becoming becomes a reckoning.