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Super Fan Rachel and First Time Watcher Matt make their way episode by episode through the groundbreaking 1990's Canadian vampire cop television show, Forever Knight.
Let us peel back the layers. Let us strip away the last vestiges of decorum and civility, and reveal our inner selves. Oui, Maisonies, it's amateur knight at The Raven, and tonight, our amateurs will reveal their inner selves by getting naked.
Rachel:Hi. I'm Rachel.
Matt:And I'm Matt.
Rachel:And this is come in 81 kilo.
Matt:A forever night podcast.
Rachel:It's time for another episode. Season 3, episode 7, hearts of darkness. I had no memory of this episode, which, considering the theme of the episode, is very ironic.
Matt:And that goes for both of us.
Rachel:And it's funny because I think I haven't watched this because I was like, it's the multiple personalities episode and didn't rewatch it. And then I watched it. I'm like, I saw a bad episode. There is, I think, one thing that we need to just put on the table before we get started because it's gonna come up, and that is the importance of keeping ourselves in 19 nineties context when we're discussing how Vashon is treating urs. In 1995, 96, he is treating her like a he is being kind.
Rachel:He is being a good dude. He is not acting, antagonistically towards her. He is, yes, he did things that are not great, but we're supposed to see him as, like, the supportive man who's trying to help her through this tough time by just being there for her and giving her time to get better.
Matt:Right.
Rachel:In 2023, he is a raging, misogynistic, infantilizing asshole Absolutely. Who is not listening to her. He is just waiting for his chance to speak. And I think it's really important that we just draw a line right down the middle of that. Of course, it's gonna come up again because I feel like it's an important conversation to have about the way he treats Urs, but it's important to remember we're supposed to be reading him as, like, the the gallant hero.
Matt:Yes. It by nineties sensibilities, he is going above and beyond. Yeah. By not by doing anything.
Rachel:Any anything.
Matt:By taking any action with the intention of improving or supporting Erz's situation, He's going above and beyond.
Rachel:Yeah. And she's just not sure how to appreciate him yet. Oh, we're gonna get there. So we start with LaCroix, and you thought he was podcasting, but, oh, no. He's like, it's time to bear.
Matt:He's the MC.
Rachel:He's like, it's time to bear our inner selves. It's time to really strip our psyches down, and by that, I mean, we're gonna get naked because it's amateur stripper night at the Raven. And I like to think somewhere, Jennette threw up in her mouth a little. It's like that scene in Star Wars when Obi wan feels a great disturbance in the force.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:And he's like, felt like thousands of voices all cried out at once and then were suddenly silenced like that, except she's like, he turned my club into a strip club?
Matt:But not even a classy one?
Rachel:I don't think Jennette would support this at all. I think if Jennette were there, she'd be like, LaCroix. And he'd be like, that's okay. I'm sorry. I won't do okay.
Rachel:I won't. She's like, get get it out. Get the pole out. Take it out yourself. So we see a lady who's apparently our amateur sec what's the PC way of describing that?
Rachel:Our well, she's stripping our amateur person who is stripping, our amateur stripper for the night. Mhmm. And she's dancing clearly for one particular man, and this is quite risque. In fact, Macronarked on it. He was like, wow.
Rachel:This is this is quite risque, because she's
Matt:dancing. Nineties.
Rachel:Yeah. And Yeah. We see, like, her taking off her shirt, and then it's implied she takes off her bra. She turns around. She ends up giving both her bra and her underwear to the guy in the front row.
Rachel:And is watching all of this, and this is kind of the prelude to the fact that is gonna be our one of our central characters for this whole episode. So I feel like we need to get the topic of her hair also out of the way.
Matt:Looks like each curl was individually crafted and then set in epoxy.
Rachel:We have seen her before, and she had her hair is really, really pretty. And in the past, her hair is really, really pretty. But for some reason, she looks like she really spent spent a lot of time curling and spraying the top 2 thirds of her hair, and the rest, she was just like, well, that's fine. I can just leave that straight.
Matt:I'm I'm too tired now to finish.
Rachel:The only thing I can think of is when they put it up in the wig, they curled all that's those pieces. And then rather than, like, brush it out each time, they just left it. That's the only thing I can think of. Because when we see her again, she sometimes she has curly hair, but it's not ever really like this again. So I don't know.
Rachel:But she has PTSD clearly because she's watching this woman and she's flashing back to her own life as a sex worker. And that's kind of our theme is all female vampires must have engaged in sex work while mortal and have daddy issues. Clearly, those are the only types of women that would be drawn to the vampire lifestyle. I know your argument for this was desperate women throughout history have historically turned to sex work, which is not necessarily true. This is a very broad generalization.
Rachel:Yes. Even the women for, like, there's an excellent podcast called called the 5, and it's the untold lives of the women killed by Jack the Ripper. And it's by Hailey Rubenholdt, And it's a really good podcast, but it's all about how we have reduced these women down to they were sex workers, and that's it. And that's actually not even true.
Matt:To the point that it's, like, fetishized.
Rachel:Yeah. So that's just a broad generalization. It's just that that's the pervasive narrative in our culture because bad women engage in sexual activity with multiple partners, and the only type of women that would do that are the ones that are profiting from it. So, ergo, bad women are always sex workers. And this literally not true, but in 1990, apparently, if you were going to be a woman in a vampire cop television show, you had to have started life as a sex worker.
Rachel:And that's Erz's backstory, apparently. She is a and she has daddy issues, which she explicitly says at the end, and it's just horrific. Her dialogue in this whole episode
Matt:Ellen slash Monica. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All the trouble troubled women have daddy issues.
Rachel:Clearly. So I don't know. Urs's dialogue feels like it was written by an incel. Just like, I know what's wrong with women, and I'm gonna have Urs articulate it for me. Because every time she opens her mouth, it's like, oh, big strong man.
Rachel:Actually, there's a couple. There's a couple where she's like, we'll get there. But there are a few times she calls Vashon out on her his bullshit, and it's great. But then we get lines like, I just think I've been looking for my father and I've been looking for someone to tell me I'm a good girl. Just like, I think I'd die.
Rachel:I think I'd die, like, just a little bit.
Matt:From, like, a personal growth perspective, that's a valuable point where if you're able to look back and make an observation and say, this is what I've been doing. Like, I've been looking for my father,
Rachel:and I've been looking for someone to tell me I've been a
Matt:good girl. And you're able to, like, articulate that. That's the first step in chucking it out in the trash where it belongs.
Rachel:She says that too. But, anyway, we're we're gonna unpack her thing as we go along. But Urs is watching and she's getting increasingly uncomfortable watching this woman because she's dancing for this one man in particular. And Vashon shows up, and he's like, if she's an amateur, I'm a vegetarian. Thank you, Vashon.
Rachel:Read the fucking room. Okay? Bruce is on the verge of tears, and he's like, she's really good at this.
Matt:Okay. Here's here's another piece of context that changes this scene a little bit. We find out later that Vashon turned Urs into a vampire.
Rachel:Yes.
Matt:As her sire
Rachel:Yes.
Matt:He should have a strong psychic connection to her
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And an inward window into her mental state in that moment.
Rachel:Enter emotional state.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:Yeah. Oh, yeah. He should.
Matt:But we're probably reading
Rachel:way too much into that. It's his big dick energy. It just gets in the way. Okay. It floods his brain.
Rachel:He can't even it's like, fish can't fly and birds can't swim. He can't understand her emotions. She's a woman. She's hysterical all the time.
Matt:Okay. How about this? How about this? He is aware of her emotional state, but a a man of the 70 days seventies, eighties, nineties, nineties, who's feeling those emotions, like a a sense of displacement, like shock, You cover it up with macho bravado.
Rachel:Yeah. You open with a joke.
Matt:Yes. Yeah. And so maybe he's doing his best to emotionally connect with him.
Rachel:You know what?
Matt:But he just the capacity is not there.
Rachel:You know what? Vashon is a fuck boy who feels like he did a real good thing like a 100 years ago, and he's been coasting at it ever since then.
Matt:Waiting for someone to tell him he's been a good boy?
Rachel:Yes. Yeah. He's trying he's waiting for Urs to be fucking grateful 0 I did a good thing. I don't know why you don't see it as a good thing.
Matt:I have gotten 0 high fives.
Rachel:Is that good thing?
Rachel:0. Just no one. No one has high fives.
Matt:I just want someone to say, bro, and give me a high five. And that has not happened. And I've been waiting for a 100 years. I'm getting a little impatient.
Rachel:Just imagine the most, like
Matt:Let me shake my curly mullet.
Rachel:Just imagine the most oblivious of fuck boys. He's at a brothel. We all know why he's at the brothel. And he takes a shine to one of the ladies, and he's like, oh, she's getting harassed. I can do something about that, and she's gonna be so fucking thankful.
Rachel:So he kills her pimp or whatever. He kills her.
Matt:He intimidates.
Rachel:Well, he intimidates him, and then he kills him.
Matt:When did he kill him? He killed him
Rachel:later. Oh, yeah. He kills him later. And then
Matt:Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Rachel:Of Urs, and Urs is like, what the shit? And he's like, you're welcome. He's like, I get it. You're scared. It's got it in 1.
Rachel:That's later. Then he's like, you know, I can take you away from all of this. And she's like, okay. Please kill me. Please, please kill me.
Rachel:And he's like, what?
Matt:I wish for the release of death. Okay.
Rachel:We're not there. Don't make me skit. Don't make me skit because I feel like I have a treatise about the way he treats her in this episode. And does it make it a bad episode as ever? No.
Rachel:We actually had somebody comment, every once in a while, because we started out hosting with Spotify, Spotify will still generate a poll on Spotify. And somebody filled it in, and they were like, thank you so much for talking nostalgically about things in the nineties even though so much has changed. And, well, like we always say, sometimes we can be funny and nostalgic about it and some things we can't. And this kind of treads that very fine line of things we can and cannot. But I think if we stick to making fun of that Sean, we're all good here.
Matt:Yes.
Rachel:I just think it's important to realize how much times have changed and how much our perception of what he does changes and the fact that we were not supposed to see it this way when it first came out. Yes. We're supposed to see him as a little bit villainous, but we're not supposed to see him as as villainous as we ultimately see him in this episode. And in fact, both
Matt:In 2023 perspective.
Rachel:Yeah. In fact, both of our women in this episode were turned nonconsensually. So they are both the product of, nonconsensual, immortalization, where they were not freed, but, you know, ultimately enslaved to time in a way they never wanted to be. But after Veshan makes his, if she's an amateur, I'm a vegetarian crack, Urs almost starts crying.
Matt:Yeah. It hits her pretty hard.
Rachel:And then the well, we find out her name is Monica, so I'll just call her Monica. Monica hops down and is following after the guy, and Urs stops her and is like, don't go with that man. He is going to hurt you. And she's like, whatever, and leaves. And Vashawn is like, woah, woah, woah.
Rachel:Don't go after her. She's a big girl. She can make her own choices. Can she make her own choices, Michelle? Is she allowed to make her own decisions?
Rachel:Wow. That's really progressive of you. Hey. Hey. Don't get fucking involved.
Rachel:It's fine. You you don't, you know, don't use your power to save other women from going through what you went through. That's she's clearly choosing to be with somebody who is abusive to her, so let's just kinda let that go. Hang on. We
Matt:can't we can't interfere.
Rachel:And this is the first of Erz's, clearly, this dialogue was written by a man, lines because she goes, she wants him to hurt her. I just need some air. She leaves. Like, you don't understand, Vashon. She wants him to hurt her.
Rachel:You just don't get it. I gotta go. I mean, I get where they're going. Is that the way I feel like was the best way to phrase this? Not necessarily, but, it's fine.
Rachel:It's fine. And then the lady actually wakes up in an apartment on black satin fuck sheets. They've made a glorious reappearance. Did they
Matt:in Nick's apartment.
Rachel:Is there a a shop where they get these from? I have never been out shopping, and there were just collections. Of these?
Matt:And since we haven't been upstairs in Nick's loft this season, they're like
Rachel:not there.
Matt:They were just on a shelf in storage. Well, they could.
Rachel:They couldn't reuse the cow drapery. We just put that out last episode. So So black satin it is. And she wakes up after some writhing about, and she has bloody lips. And then she crawls up, like, crawls up the couch and peeks over the back.
Rachel:And the dude that she went home with is tied to the weight rack and stabbed through the heart. And then,
Matt:The intro.
Rachel:The intro. Then we come back, and they're at the crime scene. And Tracy is holding up the outfit the woman was wearing because the woman's just wrapped in a blanket. And she's like, so this this is not yours? And she's like Right.
Matt:She woke up in just her underwear and her clothes are at the apartment.
Rachel:Yeah. And this poor woman remembers nothing. She's like, I don't know whose clothes they are. I don't know where my clothes are. I don't know how I got here.
Rachel:I don't know who that guy is. I know nothing. And Tracy's like, okay. That sounds unlikely. And Nick says, well, do you know Eckert, who's the bad guy?
Rachel:Do you know the guy who rented this apartment? Not the bad guy, but the dead guy. Dead guy and bad guy. He's like, she was renting this apartment. Did you know her?
Rachel:And she's like, him? And he's like, oh, can't get my pronouns right today.
Matt:Very nineties of you.
Rachel:Thank you. But he says, did you know Eckert? And she's like, I could no. I don't even know how I got here. I got nothing.
Rachel:And so Nick's like, cool. Cool. And he walks around to go talk to Natalie. Important Natalie's just trying to get her pen working the whole time she's talking. I don't know what this is.
Rachel:I don't know if the pen was an actual was actually not working, and so she's shaking it. She's shaking her pen to try to get to work. Nick is like, so what's the verdict? She goes, hey. I'm taking an informal poll.
Rachel:So if you have a gaping stab wound, a severed, like, aorta, you know, what what's missing here? And he's like, blood. And she goes, bingo. And she, like, tips his head the guy's head. And the guy, of course, has vampire fang marks in his neck.
Matt:Good, Annie?
Natalie:Oh, yeah. I'm taking an informal poll. What would you expect from a gaping knife wound, arterial lacerations, and organ trauma?
Nick:Not to plan.
Natalie:So where is it?
Rachel:And Natalie's like, what do you what do you wanna what do you have to say about that? And Nick's like, oh my god. Why? And she's like, that's your department. I'm just showing you the I did my job.
Rachel:I pointed them out, and so now we know the killer was a vampire. And the thing I like about this episode, the thing I like about the fact that we now have this larger cast who half have knowledge and half don't is, 1, Nick hacks to actually be careful.
Matt:Right.
Rachel:He cannot be as brazen as he was with Skanky because Tracy is on alert for shenanigans. And we get lots of opportunities for Nick to have tongue in cheek comments to Tracy about what he knows she knows, but what she doesn't know that he knows. And we just get so much more fun vampire stuff that isn't like, oh, no. Now I need to chase down the bad guy. Good thing I can fly.
Matt:And I immediately predicted, because Nick sees the bite marks, but then Tracy goes over in a minute. She sees the bite marks. I'm like, oh, yay. We're going to get both Nick and Tracy going to the Raven to talk to Vashon about investigating this apparent vampire murder, but they can't let each other see them at the Raven getting information.
Rachel:Yeah. It's the best. And I'm so glad we get these now because we couldn't have this with our with our setup before. Skanky could find Nick at the Raven every day of the week, and it would have been, you know
Matt:It would have been fine.
Rachel:It would have been fine, but Tracy can't even see him there. So we get this cool, like the tension there is fun. That's always the fun thing in a vampire thing for me is when when you have a character that's having to mask and the kind of situations that they get into when they have to pretend to not be able to do things that they can't do or not be who they are.
Matt:Because there are people around that know about the secret domain but don't know that they're a part of it.
Rachel:Yeah. So we get interrupted. Nick and Natalie get interrupted because Tracy comes over with the clothes, and she's like, size 6. Ugh. I have friends that would kill to wear this.
Rachel:The actress who plays Tracy is at least smaller than a size 6. She's not. This would fit her just fine.
Matt:But she's she's supposed to be the every woman
Rachel:okay.
Matt:For the viewer.
Rachel:I guess. It would have been the nineties if we didn't make a comment about how small she was. Absolutely. No. It wouldn't.
Rachel:She's like, but it fits her like a glove, so it's obviously hers. Nick and Natalie are like, I I don't know. And Tracy goes, come on, guys. Do we really think she came here expecting roses and poetry? And then all 3 of them look up at the wall, and there's, like, a blue velvet painting
Matt:on the wall. Silhouette.
Rachel:They're, like, neon velvet neon on, like, royal blue velvet sex painting that is up on the wall over this guy's weight rack, which means every time he was lifting weights, it was like, oh, yeah. That's the goal. Oh, yeah. He's only been there 8 days, which means he had time to set his whole house up and hang his fuck paintings. He wasted no time.
Matt:Decorating is sometimes a priority.
Rachel:Apparently, when you're trying to set the tone, I guess.
Matt:When you're expecting company.
Rachel:Yeah. Tracy later calls this something out of the Marquis de Sade. Oh, okay, Tracy. It's it's sure. It's like a bachelor dude apartment, I guess.
Rachel:Well, it sucks. So Nick and Natalie turn away, and Tracy has a moment to turn the guy's head and see the fang marks. And she's like, oh, shit. And then we cut to because is out getting fresh air, which apparently means both sleepwalking slash flashbacking while walking through the alleys really slowly to synthesize our electric guitar music.
Matt:Would it be the nineties if we
Rachel:because she cuts to her flashback. And this is actually kinda cute. I think hers is extremely pretty. And she's a pretty actress. And she they definitely give her a chance to not be in whatever awful nineties get up she's in in the present.
Rachel:She gets a banging outfit in the flashback. Mhmm. Because this dress is really pretty. And she gets to sing, and she gives Vashawn a hanky, which this is the question I feel like needs to be answered. So in certain vampire properties, they cannot change at all.
Rachel:Whatever you looked like when you were turned is what you look like now. Now we know that that is not true in the Forever Knight universe because sometimes Nick has a mullet, and sometimes Nick doesn't have a mullet unless they change back every day and every morning Nick wakes up and cuts off his mullet, which I don't see him having the energy to do. And that means that Vashon has chosen to have this hairstyle throughout history.
Matt:100 of years.
Rachel:500 years, this man has looked like a chain smoking nineties mom. I just don't understand. I I watched this shortly after it originally aired, when it first was in syndication. And even then, his haircut was off putting. And I just can't it's like he decided to get bangs right before he went to Lake Titicaca.
Rachel:Maybe he broke up. Like, he broke up with somebody and he went and he was like, I just need bangs. And they're like, man, think about it. This choice might be forever. And he's like, no.
Rachel:I want the bangs. So he got breakup bangs right before he went to Lake Titicaca. He had his massive showdown. He got turned into a vampire, and then he's like, this is who I am now. I have breakup bangs forever, and he just has breakup bangs.
Matt:And he's been getting it. He has a guy. Who's been going every month and getting his bangs trimmed.
Rachel:He's like, trim them. He's like, best shot. We've talked about this. Trim them. I said trim them.
Rachel:Forever means forever. Cut the pangs.
Matt:I ain't no quitter. I
Rachel:just don't understand. I just don't understand. Is this a wig? Is he wearing a wig? I mean, not the character, but is Ben wearing a wig?
Rachel:Because it that's so consistent. I've you know, Nick's hair changes so much throughout the season because because Garrett doesn't go get haircuts apparently when they're filming because well, maybe he sleeps during the day and he's awake all night. He didn't have time to. Because by the end of season 3, he's like season 2 Shaggy again.
Nick:Mhmm. I
Matt:I would say based on how exactly the same Vashon's hair looks in every episode It's gotta be wig.
Rachel:And it's so stiff. It doesn't move. It's like a hair helmet. It's so I just why? Why?
Rachel:This whole season would have aged so much better if he didn't have that haircut. And I just feel like going back and talking to this this, I'm gonna invent a time machine specifically for the purpose of going back and being, like, choose a timeless hairstyle, please, for the love of God. For me, it's like those early 2000 teenage shows where they all have hair that's all the same length, and then it's spiked up all around their heads, like the guy in Sandman. And you when you were watching it when you were little, you're like, oh, they're cool and edgy because they spike their hair like that. And then you look at it now and you're like, wow.
Rachel:That's such it's so unfortunate. It's like Ben Affleck's hairstyle in Daredevil. Okay. I have waxed nostalgic about hairstyles for too long hair, but I just want to know, universe, why? Why?
Rachel:Why? Why? Why? Why does he have this hairstyle even in flashbacks? We don't even get short hair in flashbacks.
Matt:Maybe we could, message Ben Bass and say, hey.
Rachel:Was it a wig? Ben, did you bring your own wig? Was it your mom's? I can't. Alright.
Rachel:Moving on now. Because in the flashback, Urs is singing, and we see this one guy looking at her pretty repeatedly. And when she's done, he actually comes over and, like, grabs her arm, and he's like, hey. What have I told you about talking to other men? And Vashon kind of, He doesn't quite do it yet, I don't think.
Rachel:But, eventually, he's gonna kinda push him away. Protectors, I guess.
Matt:Yeah. It's right when the guy is saying, hey. I don't like it when you look at other men.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:He comes right over.
Rachel:Right. So we come back to the present, and Ellen is in the precinct, and, apparently, she's been taking a lie detector test for 2 hours.
Matt:And has had 3 3 psychological evaluations? Yeah. Guys, she's probably traumatized Yeah. From waking up
Rachel:They're like, maybe
Matt:in a mysterious room with a murdered man and no memories.
Rachel:Maybe if we asked her again but asked her harder, she would know the answer this time. And even Nick is like, wow. She looks tired. And Tracy's like, yeah. They've been at it for 2 hours, but she's passing the lie detector did lie detector test, so maybe they haven't asked her hard enough.
Rachel:I don't know. But she's had time to look Ellen up, and she's like, her mom died when she was 10, and she kinda had a deadbeat dad. He disappeared on her last she heard he died in some bar fight. She's been on the streets, in and out of the foster system and on the streets since she was 12, so she's had kind of a hard life. And, you know, it's just really bad for her.
Rachel:And Nick's like, oh, I I thought you thought she was the murderer. What changed? And Tracy's like, well, I just don't think that now. Make something up, Tracy.
Matt:Right. Nick has had years to refine this either dismissal or ad hoc excuses.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:But Tracy Tracy hasn't practiced that skill set quite well enough
Nick:to brush this off.
Rachel:I just don't think that anymore. And woven throughout this episode is the most Canadian of all red herring subplots.
Matt:Oh, the ex hockey player?
Rachel:Yeah. The ex overly aggressive hockey player whose wife will not press charges because we come out to drama at the precinct. And Reese is like, woah. Woah. Woah.
Rachel:What's happening here, guys? And this guy, whose name is Marnicki, his lawyer is like, his wife dropped the charges. You guys have to let him go. And so Reese comes over, and he gets like a he's like, oh, I know who this guy is. He scored this many points.
Rachel:He beat up this many people. He was known for his fists and not a whole lot else. And so this guy is like, oh, I know. I see you're a fan. Alright.
Rachel:Nice to meet a fan. The last time we saw this guy, he was dead on the top of the CN Tower, so I don't know how
Matt:he left. Moving up in the world.
Rachel:Apparently, he's gotten better, because I'm pretty sure he's the
Matt:The actor.
Rachel:The actor from Baby Baby, the triple x guy, triple y. No. X double y. That's it. I got it, from our 3 hour episode, Baby Baby, where we talked about just the implications of not listening to each other.
Rachel:Hey. This is another episode where the theme is maybe you should listen when other people talk.
Matt:Seems to be a trend.
Rachel:This is and this guy shows up again as an overly aggressive man who dies at the end. What the shit? God, this is baby baby, but without pregnancy. Oh, yes. Instead of Urs asking or instead of the lady asking to be made eternal, Urs asks to die, and she they both get made immortal anyway.
Rachel:So, yeah, this is baby, baby. Tracy's wearing a really pretty outfit. I feel like pointing that out also. Usually, she's in jeans, and now she's actually in some, like, dress pants and this really pretty kind of wine colored top. And Nick has started wearing, like, an all black suit.
Rachel:I'm not mad about it. He's still not wearing ties. I think he's worn a tie once, maybe twice in the whole series. So I start now, I guess. But they come in to talk to Reese, and Reese is like, alright.
Rachel:Break it down. What's going on? And Nick is like, suppressed memory? Not uncommon. Me and Tracy are like, meh.
Rachel:I don't know. She just doesn't remember anything. And Tracy says, if you ask me, Eckert got what he deserved because he nearly killed his wife, and he's a pretty pretty big douche. And he had a sex dead, and he was hot enough. All he had to do was smile at a pretty lady, and he could bring her home with him.
Rachel:And I don't know. I'm kinda not mad he died. And Nick's like, well, yeah. I mean, we still have to investigate that murder.
Matt:Right. And at this point, the, I guess, the signals they're sending are, this guy took Monica home. A vampire showed up, killed him, and then mind wiped Ellen. Yeah. Ellen slash Monica.
Rachel:That's what everybody thinks. That's what Tracy and Nick both think individually without communicating that to each other.
Matt:An aggressive memory wipe.
Rachel:Yeah. And Reese is like, okay. Well, do we think they knew each other? And Nick and Tracy are like, well, she moved here he moved here 8 days ago, but she only moved here a week ago. But that could still be a coincidence that they both moved here from the coast at the same exact time.
Rachel:I mean, it could still be a coincidence. Just the odds of it being a coincidence are not high. And Nick actually points out, look, if she's blocking out a memory, that's a defense mechanism, so it's unlikely that she like, whatever happened, she's protecting herself from it. Yeah. So I think if we go at it from that angle, you know, that's that's how we should approach it, really.
Rachel:Because then he goes to Natalie, and Natalie's actually like, her fingerprints were fucking everywhere. You couldn't frame a Picasso better than you framed her.
Natalie:Your fingerprints are all over, silverware included. You couldn't frame a Picasso any better than this.
Nick:Why would a vampire sat a pillow?
Natalie:You're asking me?
Rachel:And Nick is like, oh, why is the vamp why would the vampire frame her? And Natalie's literally like, fuck if I know. She's like, that is your department. I don't know anything about that.
Matt:I just handle the facts.
Rachel:And he's like, maybe he was protecting her from Eckert, and Natalie goes, well, I think you are wrong about one of those things. And she actually approaches him with some calipers, and she's, like, open wide. And he goes, why? She's, like, just open your fucking mouth. And so he does, and she measures his canines, his distance between his canines, like we could do before we do vampire makeup, just putting that out there.
Rachel:Look how fast that was. It well, how long did that take her? Not that long.
Matt:Right. Just line it up, lock the calipers, and then put some dye on there, and then put it on somebody's neck. And boom, that's where you put the fang makeup.
Rachel:That's where you put the holes. I just can't. Why does nobody take fang makeup seriously? I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna become a makeup artist specifically so I can be the person that you call when you want realistic Bang makeup.
Nick:That's what I'm
Rachel:gonna yes. In my spare time, that's what I'm gonna do. And he's like, what? And she goes, well, yours is, I think, like, 3.2. And the bite, like, the bite mark that I measured was 2.9.
Rachel:And he's like, well, I guess that lets me off the hook. And she's like, yeah, you and almost every other male vampire. And he's like, a woman. It's actually what he says. He goes, a woman.
Rachel:Like, damn it. I'm definitely gonna get outsmarted.
Nick:Damn and double damn. I don't stand a chance. Where's Jeannette when I need her?
Rachel:I know. I can't even ask the people who'll know. And Natalie says, yeah. And she's really cunning. When she's hungry, she kills.
Rachel:I don't know. I don't think that's cunning. I think that's just, like, it do do be what you do do when you're a vampire. I'm hungry. I think I should eat something.
Rachel:She's cunning, I guess, in that she tried to cover this up, but she didn't slash the fang mark. She just stabbed the guy in the chest. Like, oh, I've bitten this man, and he is dead. I have to cover this up. Should I cover the large puncture wounds in his throat?
Rachel:Nay nay. I shall stab him in the heart, and no one will look elsewhere. It is fine. Okay. Whatever.
Rachel:Urz is still roaming around to sad electronic synth music, and it reminded me of the stand. It sounds exactly like the music from the stand when the walking man is walking around. You know what I'm talking about? The walking man, the the devil guy.
Matt:I know the characters. I don't remember the music, just off the top of my head.
Rachel:God. You're dead to me. Bye. You mean you don't remember the white guy who says that brown sound sure do get around?
Matt:Oh, I remember.
Rachel:Gosh.
Matt:Yeah. I just I don't have the music in my head.
Rachel:Oh, that's actually straight from the book, because there's that character that gets famous. He's like a one hit wonder. Yeah. And he goes to see his mom, and she's like, you sound like a black man, like, on the CD. And he goes, that brown sound sure do get around.
Rachel:That's straight from the book. Put that out there. Whew. Sometimes Stephen King ages like fine wine, and sometimes he don't at all. And maybe sometimes we sometime we should do a Stephen King deep dive.
Rachel:Although I've listened to some interviews about him.
Matt:2 years long.
Rachel:God, I know. I've listened to some interviews about him where he's like I think Christine one of his movies is Christine, and he's like or maybe Cujo, and they were like, how did you like that movie? Like, how was working on that movie? And he's like, honestly, I was on so much cocaine. I have no memory of that movie.
Rachel:Stephen King. So Nick goes back to the apartment because he is not free to investigate the way that he wants to investigate, ground, such as the, Raven coaster, which is sticking out from underneath the rug.
Matt:Right. No one He just hates it, and then he goes to the raven, and he just throws it on the counter.
Rachel:Well, they don't wanna solve this murder. They don't wanna find the murderer because the murderer is a vampire.
Matt:Yeah. They don't want to actually track down the actual murderer person because that points back to
Rachel:Yeah. To a vampire, which they don't want done.
Matt:Okay. That's a good point for just why why are they destroying evidence?
Rachel:Yeah. That's why. But he takes okay. So we go to the raven, Tracy, apparently. 1st, we see the raven, and then it's actually Tracy and the raven.
Rachel:And she bumps into the man, which we shall heretofore refer to as booty short beefcake man, because he's been in the raven every single time we've been in the Raven, and he is wearing booty shorts, and he has well developed. He spends time
Matt:He's the spiritual successor to saxophone man.
Rachel:He is the spiritual he believes. Okay? He believes
Matt:With every bulging muscle.
Rachel:Because he is there every opportunity he gets, apparently. Because he bumps into Tracy, and Tracy looks at him like, are you a vampire? Probably not. And she just turns around because Vashon is, like, standing behind the chains lurking about the establishment as you do. And she's like, okay, Vashon.
Rachel:Have you seen this lady? And he'll she holds up the picture. She's like, she went home with a guy from the from the Raven last night, or she went home with a guy last night, and he got killed by a vampire. And Vashon's like, k. What does this have to do with me?
Rachel:And she's like, maybe the vampire was would you think maybe the vampire could have been protecting Ellen? Because he killed him, but then he stabbed him as if he was trying to cover up what happened, and Vashon's like, probably not. Although, from what we find out later, yeah, it probably was the vampire alter ego trying to protect the other 2.
Matt:But when you only have a third of a brain to work with
Rachel:Well, like Vashon
Matt:you make no. Like, who, Jacqueline.
Rachel:Yeah. Jacqueline. Like Vashon Vashon is basically like, I wouldn't go out of my way to protect anybody, so I don't think anybody else would either. That's my guess.
Matt:And it's just to make a note, anything he's doing to protect Tracy isn't going out of his way because he's under threat of violence from Nick Yes. If anything happens to her.
Rachel:Yeah. So Yes.
Matt:Any familiarity, any any positive emotion that Vashawn is projecting at Yeah. Tracy is under suspicion of him just CYA.
Rachel:She's a cute little child, just like Urs was a cute little child, and he's temporarily adopted her, but doesn't honestly give a shit what happens to her. It's cute. It's cute as long as it's convenient, and then he's done, which Nick is very aware of. I love how Nick is completely aware of how much of a fuck boy Vashon is because he was Vashon, and he's like, I fucking see you. I know exactly who you are.
Matt:Takes one to know one.
Rachel:Takes one to know one. I'm a reformed fuck boy. You are still deep in fuck boy land, and I cannot show you the way out because you must lead yourself, but I can moderate your behavior in the meantime. It's basically what he can do. And Tracy's like, well, if a vampire did kill the guy while she was there, could this woman be in danger?
Rachel:And Vashawn is just like, I don't fucking know. It's like, I don't know. I, a, don't know and, b, don't give a shit. And Tracy gives him her bullshit face. They're like
Matt:There's as much variability between vampires between individual vampires in the group of vampires as there are between 2 individual humans in the whole group of humans.
Rachel:Correct.
Matt:You don't just say, oh, look, a vampire. I can make these ten statements about this vampire's personality and how they act.
Rachel:Yeah. And Vashon, our true student of the vampire psyche, somehow has nothing to help Tracy with in this moment. And the the coolest part about this is Tracy gives him her bullshit face, and then she turns around to leave just as Nick is walking in. So he has to, like, dart behind a pillar and go around the pillar to avoid Tracy.
Nick:Called it. Called
Rachel:it. And then he walks over. So first, he walks over, and Vashon has moved from where he was sitting to over by the bar, and Lacroix is at the bar. And he must have been talking to Vashon because Vashon and Lacroix are there, and they did have a moment last episode where they wax nostalgic about when they were sexual predators without any remorse or any fear of, retribution. And so now since they're breast best bros, they are hanging out at the bar.
Rachel:And so Nick walks over, and I have to imagine this is like when you have a friend group and 2 members of the group start dating and then they break up and they all still wanna hang out with you, but every time they all sort of end up together, you can't manage to just get one without the other. It's super fucking awkward, and they have the most awkward conversations, and it's just painful to be around them. That's how it feels. Because Vashana's just standing there, like, oh, God, I hope this doesn't come to, like, fist fight blows because I'm gonna have to move. Because they are just, like, first, Nick walks over and he's got the coaster, and he just holds the coaster up.
Nick:And LaClaus's liners.
Matt:So passive aggressive.
Rachel:That's what I'm fucking talking about. It's like they broke up, but they're still in each other's orbit. So every time they get back together, they have to have these cutting jibes at each other, and they are totally Nick, not so much, but Lacroix is, like, trying to make Vashon complicit in this joke that he's playing on Nick because he's like, oh, Nick. You brought your own coaster. How thoughtful.
Rachel:I wish most of my customers were as environmentally conscious as you.
LaCroix:Nicholas, how thoughtful of you to bring your own coaster. If only all of my clients were as environmentally conscious, I found it at a murder scene. Really?
Rachel:And Sean's just like, don't look at me when you say that. I don't know.
Matt:I am not participating in this.
Rachel:I am not in this. I am not a part of this.
Matt:Competition, whatever the fuck this is.
Rachel:And Nick Nick, eyes on the quad. Like, eyes on the prize. Vachon does not exist. Honestly, I really think Nick would rather Vachon does not exist the vast majority of the time.
Matt:So he's just, like general.
Rachel:He's just focused on Lacroix. He's like, listen. I found this at a murder scene. And Lacroix is like, I'm sorry. He's like, you know what?
Rachel:Most of the time, I think your job is really fucking boring. But when you say stuff like murder scene, I think maybe I could be a cop. He's basically like, oh, murder. Tell me more. But, unfortunately, a hot lady walks by, and Lacroix's like, got business to attend to.
Rachel:See you later, gentlemen. And he just walks off after
Matt:this conversation. Myself out of this conversation.
Rachel:Oh my fucking god. But it does give Nick the opportunity to turn to Vashon, which Vashon has to be like, please continue to believe I don't exist. It's better when you think I don't exist. Because he turns to him, and he's like, Vashawn, did you know Eckert? And Vashawn's like, no.
Rachel:This is like, okay.
Matt:So this is Vashon's like, I don't want to answer any of your questions.
Rachel:I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna answer these questions. He's like, yeah. Sure. Whatever.
Rachel:And he's like
Matt:I regret leaving my ruined church this morning.
Rachel:Well, he actually holds out a picture, and he's like, do you recognize him? And Vashon's like, no. He's like, okay. So that's a yes. Alright.
Rachel:Where did you see him? And he's like, he was at the Raven.
Matt:God. He's been here all week.
Rachel:He left with this lady. I think her name was Monica. I don't know. I don't know anything more about it. He's like, okay, well, Eckhart was killed by a vampire, a female.
Rachel:And Vashon's like, oh, is that okay? Yeah, sure. Yep. And he's like, cool. Did Urs see Eker?
Rachel:And Vashawn's like, I don't know. I don't know that. He's the worst liar because Nick is immediately like, okay.
Matt:Okay. That's a yes.
Rachel:So you think Urs that you believers could be in on this, and Vashon's, like, fuck. Goddamn it. He's like, I don't know. And he's Nick says, which it makes more sense later when you find out that Vashon is Erzah's sire because he tells him, listen. If she's responsible for this, you're responsible for this, and I will hold you responsible for this.
Rachel:Because if you didn't teach her what she needed to know to keep her shit out of her shit, that's on you, my friend. It ain't on her.
Matt:To keep her shit out of my shit?
Rachel:Yeah. That's on you. I got literally, look. Just behold the raven full of vampires. I hold you personally responsible for the behavior of every single one of them because I hate you.
Matt:I will punish you anytime anything bad happens.
Rachel:So then Beshan is like, well, she has been really out of it for, like, a week or so. She's kind of like she was when we first met. And he, like, looks off to the side to go into his flashback, and Nick has to be like, I know that face. I'm just gonna let him have this moment because
Nick:he goes through his flashback.
Rachel:And it's of him cock blocking her
Matt:Suiter.
Rachel:Suiter, her aggressive John or whatever. And he actually picks him up and puts him down in this chair, and he's like, you don't touch her ever again, savvy. And the guy's like, cool. Yeah. Cool.
Rachel:Got it. Yep. And so when he turns back, Screed is talking to Urs, and he smacks Screed in the face with the club. He just goes, well, poof, and smacks him in the face. And Screed's like, a message received, and he just walks off.
Rachel:Him and
Matt:Hold on. I will say this about Screed. Screed can read the room.
Rachel:Screed can read the fucking room. Yeah. He can. He's like, cool. Cool.
Rachel:Got it. And him and mystery third man, did you see he was behind Scree? They walk off. And Vashon's like, sup, baby? And Urs is like, you didn't have to do that.
Rachel:He just does that because he cares about me, and he just does that because he cares about me. Her dialogue was written by a man, And we come back to the present, and Nick is like, would she be trying to protect Monica? Like, why is she involved in this Monica situation? And does Sean literally goes, protect her from her fate, maybe? I don't know.
Nick:And she sees herself in Monica. Wants to protect her from what?
LaCroix:Her fate, maybe? I don't know.
Rachel:He literally goes, I don't know. You can't put the pieces together, Vashon? You can't take 5 fucking minutes out of fuck boy life and be like, that shot or ers was working in a brothel, and she was being abused by one particular man. Monica was at what amounts to a modern day brothel, and she was being abused by one particular man. These two situations have nothing to do with each other.
Rachel:I can't imagine Urs's motivation
Nick:in this scenario.
Matt:Connection or motivation for Urs to get involved.
Rachel:I have thought about this not at all, and I have come up with no ideas. I've got nothing. Okay? Can I go home and play my electric guitar again? I gotta brush out my bangs.
Rachel:It's the bangs. Okay? You can't have a complete thought when your bangs are that uniform.
Matt:They're tickling. They tickle your forehead. It's really distracting.
Rachel:He is such a bro. It is so he's supposed to feel, like, cavalier and, like, wild and free and nonchalant, but he took ers under his wing, and he sought to protect her. And that makes him such a cool dude, and they have such a cool brother sister relationship and blah blah blah blah. That's what we're supposed to be getting. So just keep that in mind.
Rachel:Just keep that in mind. But he does continue on, and he's like, well, if it was her, and I'm not saying that it was, it would be a mistake because Urs doesn't know her own strength. She's such a sweet, innocent little child. She doesn't know how to control her own abilities. She's a woman.
Rachel:She can't be expected to know how to drive her vampire powers.
Matt:As a follow-up to our previous statement Sure. About Vashon's deductive abilities, I would say it is encouraging, impressive
Rachel:Sure.
Matt:That he's able to say, if she did it, I'm not saying she did it, I can hold a hypothetical situation in mind and make statements about it.
Rachel:You know the the meme of the woman with the calculations where it's like
Matt:her face
LaCroix:and there's just
Matt:a Numbers all over.
Rachel:Nick's like, do you think Urs would do it? And he's like
Nick:Processing. Processing. 110% brainpower utilized.
Matt:I don't know.
Rachel:He's trying to remember, and it's literally just the scene from, Spongebob where it's the carton of milk that tips over.
Matt:Yeah. In Patrick's thought
Nick:bubble. Yeah.
Rachel:That thought bubble appears above Vashon's head. It's just a good carton of milk that tips over and spills, and he's like, I don't know. She doesn't know her own strength. I don't know. I got nothing.
Rachel:And we cut back to the precinct, and the Homer Necky thing is still going on, and now the press are there. And you can just kinda hear him in the background because Nick walks in, and he's like, what's going on out there? And Reese is like, Hal Marnicki. You know, his wife dropped the charges and blah blah blah. Stuff is happening.
Rachel:That's what's important. And Tracy comes in, and she's like, I'm already cap, and she's got this giant bag.
Matt:Yeah. Like a sport bag.
Rachel:Like a sport bag, and Nick is like, what's going on here? And Reese is like, well, she was thinking that maybe if we took Ellen home and actually let her rest and recuperate, she would move through this whole shock and awe thing.
Matt:I'm really surprised Nick didn't go come in with, why doesn't she just stay at my place?
Rachel:You are so right. Why didn't he?
Matt:Why did we break the pattern? I don't know. Every other time, we've had to protect a witness.
Rachel:Yeah. But now Tracy might figure it out. If Tracy opens his her ref his refrigerator, and it's nothing but bottles of blood
Matt:That's what changed. Okay.
Rachel:She's gonna be like, Nick
Matt:Actual scrutiny? Yeah. You know, you shouldn't keep red wine in the fridge.
Rachel:Don't even quote skanky at me right now. I need a minute. But she has this giant overnight back,
Matt:and she's swiping inside.
Rachel:I know. She's like, well, I'm gonna go to her house and spend some time couple days. You know? Maybe maybe she'll relax and things will kinda jog loose, and we can get some more information. And Nick is like, cool.
Rachel:Sounds like a plan. Let's all go. Tracy goes Sorry.
Matt:You weren't invited.
Rachel:Tracy's like, oh, you don't have to go. And he goes, yes. I do. And he just looks over at Reese, and Reese looks at Tracy and just nods like, yeah. Yeah.
Rachel:He does. I love the hold he has over Reese. Every other captain is either mildly indifferent, mildly annoyed, or mildly checked out of the whole situation.
Matt:It's I think it's tenure.
Rachel:Is he tenured now?
Matt:Well, Aiden.
Rachel:He quit. Reese pushed back even the smallest amount. Nick was like, I fucking quit. And he, like, threw his wallet down. And then took a bomb for the man, which apparently happened, but didn't happen because we never repaired that shit, but it's perfectly fine.
Matt:Nick called in the vampire repair. Correct?
Rachel:Well, Reese pulled in the super no. Nick pulled the super special 1 2 punch on Reese. Reese pushed back mildly. Like, he asked him to do his fucking job and or just go on vacation. He was like, go come and go on vacation.
Rachel:And Nick was like, I quit. And he quit. And he's like
Matt:He legit quit. And he's
Rachel:a fucking closer. He closes cases. He makes Reese look good, and he quit.
Nick:And then
Matt:In the immediate wake of his, like, instant resignation.
Rachel:Yeah. He came back and took a bomb for the man. He can do whatever he wants to do. He's like, I'm going with you. He looks at Reese, and Reese is like, he's going with you.
Rachel:I cannot say no to this man.
Matt:These are not the droids you're looking for.
Rachel:Meanwhile, Ellen is sitting in the bullpen, as Tracy calls it, and she's watching the whole Marniecki reunion with his wife, looking sort of sad, and Tracy goes to get her. And Nick's like, cool. I'm just gonna make a quick phone call, which he just picks up the phone and goes, I need your help, and then hangs the phone up again. Yeah. I wouldn't want to talk on the phone with that, Sean.
Rachel:You know? You just hear his, like, crispy hair rustling against the receiver both sides. But they drive in Nick's caddy, of course. And
Matt:Of course. Of
Rachel:course. So they're getting out, and Nick senses a vampire, which, of course, it's ers. And he looks around, and Tracy's like, what's up? And he's like, oh, nothing, nothing. So they go in to pour Ellen's apartment, and she's like, does anybody want anything?
Rachel:Coffee? And Nick's like, no. Eat. He says, no. No.
Rachel:Thank you. And Tracy's like, sure. I'll have coffee. And she goes, instant? And Tracy's like, that's fine.
Rachel:And then they walk into the kitchen, and they're having kind of a conversation. Oh, you came here without a secure job offer. Oh, you have some money saved up. You'll you're kind of a secretary. You're looking for a job with a law firm.
Matt:Basically, getting some kind of alibi or context for Yeah.
Rachel:For Ellen.
Matt:What what what are you doing here? But Nick goes straight for the underwear drawer.
Rachel:Well, he's looking around. He's like, you follow her to the kitchen. I'll just make sure there's nobody hiding anywhere.
Matt:He walks into her bedroom. The first thing he looks at is the wardrobe. He moves some hanging clothes to the side and then goes straight to a box of lingerie at the bottom. Yeah.
Rachel:He finds her lingerie stash, and he's like, oh.
Matt:And then and then he pulls it out and tucks it in his coat.
Rachel:Well, I yeah. He needs a gift for Natalie for the next time he forgets her birthday.
Matt:Heck.
Rachel:Well, he goes in the kitchen, and she's like, are you sure you won't have any coffee? And he's like, no. Thanks. And she goes, chips? And she just pulls this bowl full of chips.
Rachel:Immediately, I was like, are those not stale? Because when she eats 1, it doesn't sound stale. But
Matt:So when I was putting the hanging rod in the kids' closets, I opened their daughter's closet if there's a bowl full of potato chips.
Rachel:Of course, there was.
Matt:I think it's been, like, a month
Rachel:Parents of the year.
Matt:Since she had potato chips in her room.
Rachel:Yeah. It doesn't matter. They're it's fine. They're just potato
Matt:chips. Out of the closet at least.
Rachel:It's fine. But Nick is like, thanks, but no thanks, actually. I'm gonna get going. And so as he's leaving, he unzips Tracy's bag because he hasn't rummaged through enough women's clothing. He just needs to go check this one too.
Rachel:And, of course, there's crosses and steaks and garlic in Tracy's bag, and he's like he, like, backs up.
Matt:And now he can't close it.
Rachel:Yeah. Must not be able to close it because Tracy comes back. Later, she notices that her bag is open.
Matt:Now she's sis.
Rachel:But he comes, he walks out, and Vashawn is sitting on the stairs outside of the apartment, and he's like, I want you to keep an eye on Tracy and protect her. And Vashon's like, Tracy's a big girl. She can take care of herself. I had plans, dad, and you didn't even ask. Fuck.
Rachel:And he's like, against one of us? Can Tracy protect herself against one of us? And Vashon's like, fine. Fine. But Nick is like, I will be back as soon as I can.
Rachel:See if you can sit sit still for 15 fucking minutes, Vashon, and protect someone other than yourself. Okay.
Matt:Stay here. Stay. Keep Tracy safe. Stay here. Stay.
Matt:Keep Tracy safe.
Rachel:Look at me. Look at me. Look me in that.
Matt:You have one job, Vashon.
Rachel:Okay. What did I just say? I'll stay here and protect Tracy. Okay. Do you understand what you just said?
Rachel:Yeah. Yes. God. So he leaves. And he goes to see Natalie.
Rachel:And Natalie's like, well, for sure, this is Ellen's lingerie because not only did you find it in her apartment, but it has her hair on it, which hair matching is okay. It's fine. And Nick is like, but, you know, you've met Ellen. She just doesn't seem like the type. And Natalie goes, grandparents get caught with mail order porn these days.
Rachel:You just can't know anybody.
Matt:You can just never tell, especially with the quiet ones.
Rachel:And she's like, what if you do make a connection? What if you do connect Eckert and Ella and Ellen? What does that prove? Because the murderer's a vampire. So even if you bring those 2 together, what what what
Natalie:what? Even if you can connect, Ellen and Eckhart, Ellen didn't kill him. That was a vampire as your partner knows only too well.
Nick:Oh, her closet was full of this stuff. But Ellen, I mean, you saw her. She just isn't the type.
Rachel:I don't know. Grandparents get busted for mail order porn these days. You just don't know. And Nick is like, I don't know. There's just gotta be something.
Rachel:And this is when Natalie is like, what if she has multiple personalities? This is like, bloop. Let me armchair diagnose, this poor woman. Because she's like, what if it was Ellen, but Ellen wasn't Ellen? What if it's Patricia?
Rachel:Like, what if it was Monica? This whole time, what if Monica and Ellen are the same person? And literally Ellen doesn't remember because even though she was physically there, she wasn't mentally there?
Matt:Right. Because
Rachel:And what if one of these multiple personalities is a vampire, which I wanna point out Matt called this at, like, 25 minutes. He was, like, she has multiple personalities, and one of them is a vampire.
Matt:It was right after Natalie said, what if she has multiple personalities? And click, click, click in my head, Oh, multiple personalities, and, like, the human personalities believe they're human so much, it, you know, squeezes the vampire out. Yeah. And Rachel's like, pause it. Okay.
Matt:We're 24 minutes in. Okay. We made it that far.
Rachel:You called it. I think that's one of the reasons I don't like this episode is because it muddies the waters. Because one of my least favorite vampire tropes is like, have you tried just not being a vampire? Have you tried just looking in the mirror every morning and telling yourself, I'm not a vampire today? And then you can go about your life as immortal.
Rachel:You just have to the mind is a powerful thing. Great, Natalie. Thanks. Should we shatter Nick's psyche into multiple parts so that 2 of them won't be a vampire? He'll have And
Matt:and then we have the purely vampire one just pop out at random times and cause problems?
Rachel:Yeah. And then Nick can come back, be in a place he's never been before with a with a dead body and be like, shit. I did it again. What would you call them? Nick, Steve, and Keith?
Rachel:Sorry. So Tracy and Ellen are at the apartment. We cut back to them after he's talking with, with Natalie, and they kinda put it all together. They we come back to the apartment, and Tracy's like, so, Ellen, your dad left you? Let's talk about that.
Matt:Tracy, have you ever considered becoming a counselor or a therapist?
Rachel:So tell me what was it like when your dad abandoned you at 12? And Ellen, of course, is like, what? And Tracy's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. What did you think that question was gonna do?
Rachel:How did you think she was gonna be like, ah, you know, everybody asks me about that. Sure. I'll talk about it. It's no problem.
Matt:And and also the here's an like, a personal question. Oh, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Now I'm going to go immediately silent and nonverbally signal you that I'm expecting an answer. Yeah.
Rachel:I'm just gonna stare at you, but don't take this from me pressuring you. It's fine.
Matt:Sending pressure your way.
Rachel:And so she does. She's like, yeah. My I came home from school one day, and there was just a letter on the table with the number for social services signed love, dad. And Tracy's like, that's fucked up. And Ellen's like, are you close with your dad?
Rachel:And Tracy says yes, which it's another Myra situation. I don't think we ever meet her dad or hear hear directly from him or anything. And Tracy's like, I get that I'm lucky. Did it hurt when your dad left you like that? Tracy.
Matt:Tracy, read the room.
Rachel:I know. And so Ellen is like, yeah. I wanted to die. She's like, oh, you mean metaphorically? She was like, no, I mean, literally, I wanted to die.
Rachel:And then we go to the flashback because Urs is outside listening to this, and she hears what Ellen says, and it pushes her back into her own flashback, which I want this to be longer because literally she picks up like a carpet bag, and then this guy shows up with a knife. And she's like, wait. I have never denied you. And then Vashon's like, not on my watch. And he, like, pulls him back and kills him and then lets him fall to the side.
Rachel:And Urs is like, oh, no.
Matt:Behold, fair lady. I have avenged thee.
Nick:I have avenged thee.
Rachel:He kills her in front of he built Vashon kills the bad guy, I guess, the aggressive man in front of Urs, and then he's like, did that turn you on a little bit? So I guess that's
Matt:not definitely sending I'm turned on vibes.
Rachel:Yeah. I'm being a real good person right now. This is so hot. Oh, god. I should try this more often.
Rachel:I don't know. It sounds like a lot of work, which means that Vashon has a real history of just exposing himself vampirically to people. Because he
Matt:didn't exchange it. Anybody else that does 0 to
Nick:Yeah. But at least
Rachel:Nick never killed anybody in front of Eshan with his teeth or in front of Skanky with his teeth and then was, like, was that cool or what? Did you see what
Nick:I just did there?
Rachel:God, come on. And she's like, oh, I've heard of a group of 3 men who've been in the vicinity, and they say that they live to kill. And Vashon's like, I don't live to kill. I kill to live.
Matt:Like, that actually means something.
Rachel:Okay. Thanks, Vashon. And Urs is like, oh, you're a vampire. Oh, okay. And Vashon goes, let me take you away from all of this.
Rachel:And Urs says, I have tried to leave before, but I just keep coming back. And Vashon says, why do you think that is? To which Urs replies, I come back because I make them happy. She goes, I don't exactly know, but I make them happy. What the shit?
Rachel:Who wrote this dialogue? I can't with that line. I can't with that line. Okay. We get it.
Rachel:Erz is an aggressive people pleaser. Fine. Yes. Women get caught. Women, men, human beings get caught in cycles of aggression and love bombing and toxicity and abuse.
Rachel:And you feel like you wanna leave, but then you get in a cycle of love bombing and you get drawn back in. And this is a known phenomenon. We just watched a whole movie called Thirst that was all about periods of reprieve and periods of heightened emotional stress and how those two things create independence, and I think that's what we're trying to go for, but just the fact that they articulate it with, I don't know, I just make them happy, makes me wanna just scream. It's so, it just reduces the whole lot. It reduces ers down to this,
Nick:I don't know. I just think I can make people smile. So I think that's why I'm gonna stay.
Rachel:Are are you fucking serious right now? You look at
Matt:what we have some strong feelings about this.
Rachel:Look at what we had with this character. Okay? You have Earth, who is an emotionally complex could be could have been an emotionally complex counterpoint to Nick. Nick doesn't wanna kill people because it makes him feel bad. Urs doesn't wanna kill people because she begged to die, and Vashon thought his dick knew better, and so he made her immortal instead.
Rachel:And so she even says, I don't treat death as lightly as you do, Vashon. So we could have had this really cool morality counterpoint to
Matt:Like, actually introspective character?
Rachel:Oh, yeah. An actual vampire character who was like, I didn't wanna be this. Did Nick wanna be what he became? He kinda got seduced. He was at sort of a low point and that he had just bought in the crusades.
Rachel:He had a lot of stuff going on. Urs knew what Vashon was, and she said, please kill me. Just go ahead and kill me, and then I will be free. Kill me, please. And Vashon is like, no.
Rachel:Okay. Which we're not quite there. She just asks him to kill. She asks Vashon to kill her in this flashback, but then we cut. We don't continue on with the flashback.
Rachel:But I just feel like this is such a wasted opportunity for us to have an actual depth for this character, because I honestly don't think we go back to Urs in any meaningful way. And it just makes me sad because we have Nick whose reasons for wanting to be human are valid. He doesn't wanna kill people anymore. His Catholic guilt has been weighing on him for 800 years. And then you have this woman who was used and taken advantage of and manipulated her entire life, and she felt like she had this one thing that she could finally choose for herself.
Rachel:She could choose to die the way she wanted to die. This apparently kind stranger could end her life quickly, and she could just be done with it. And it was the one choice she felt like she had made for herself, and he fucking takes it away from her. And he not only takes it away from her, he spectacularly takes it away from her because now, she can't die except violently.
Matt:So earlier, you contrasted this to baby baby, where in the flashback, the woman tell asks Nick to give her eternity.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And Nick misunderstands. She's asking to make her pregnant. Yeah. And he thinks, oh, she's I asked her if she knew what I was, and she said yes. And she knows what she's asking for.
Matt:She said yes. Okay. As far as Nick is concerned, she's asking him kind of indirectly using floral French language
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:To make her a vampire.
Rachel:Correct.
Matt:Nick misunderstands. Yep. He didn't do his due diligence on clarifying the context in which she was asking for what she was asking for. Like, follow-up questions like, okay. Tell me the story of what you want to happen after
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:After Where do you see this film? Thing
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:That you want me to do. And as soon as she me says something about, as soon as I have the baby, Nick's gonna know, oh, I'm misunderstanding something.
Rachel:Gotcha. Yeah. But
Matt:it it is regrettable that he didn't do his due diligence on that. Yeah. But you can make a fair argument that Nick thought Nick had Nick did what he thought she was asking
Rachel:him to do.
Matt:Yes. In in good faith.
Rachel:In good faith. Yes.
Matt:In this situation with Vashon and Urs, Vashon knows Full well. She wants to die.
Rachel:Hell, yeah.
Matt:She just wants this whole thing to end. Done. He agrees. Okay. He's like, no.
Matt:No. No. Okay. I'll do it. And then he does it, but he actually turns her into a vampire.
Rachel:Yes.
Matt:And, morally, that is way worse than what
Nick:he did.
Rachel:Because it's nonconsensual. Yeah. It's just another man making a decision for her life because he thinks
Matt:About her body.
Rachel:Yes. Yes. It is.
Matt:A transformative process happening in her body that
Rachel:she
Matt:has control and
Rachel:didn't ask for.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:Yes. And can do nothing about. And now she can only die violently. She doesn't even have the, I will eventually grow old, and this will all be done. Now she's just gonna die.
Rachel:Either she has to end it horse herself or she has to die violently. There's no other way now. Yeah. So we move on, and we go back to Ellen, and Ellen is talking to Tracy, and she's like, haven't you ever wanted to die? And Tracy's like, no.
Rachel:And then we go back to Natalie because Natalie and Nick are continuing to diagnose what's going on here. And so Natalie is like, what if one of the altars is a vampire? And Nick's like, that can't be. I would have sensed it. And Natalie's like, yeah, but are you sure?
Rachel:Where's Tracy right now? And Nick's like, oh, she's with Ellen. And Natalie says, is she with Ellen, or is she with Monica? And then we cut to Tracy, and Tracy's kinda looking around the apartment while Ellen is changing behind her screen. And she actually picks up a she picks up a newspaper, which is conveniently located right where she's changing her clothes.
Rachel:And across the top, it says Marnecke released. And, apparently, this this is the moment Monica's like, not on my watch, because she puts down what she's gonna put on, and she pulls out, some, like, faux leather lingerie stuff out of her stash.
Matt:Some, like, BDSM.
Rachel:Some ass kicking clothes Yeah. Is what she puts on. And meanwhile, there's Sean who cannot follow basic instructions. Stay here and watch Tracy. Okay.
Rachel:God. I'll stay and watch Tracy. Urs, is that you?
Nick:And so he goes outside. He walks outside.
Rachel:So he walks outside, and he's like, oh, Urs. Hey. And she's like, hi, Vashon. Are you here keeping an eye on Tracy? I was just, you know, stalking this woman because I identify with her, and he's like, why would you identify with her?
Rachel:That's so weird. Did you kill Eckert?
Nick:Bruce, what are you doing here? That man in the club, you killed him, didn't you? No. Why would you think that? Because of what he represented to you.
Urs:I don't treat death as lightly as you do, have you?
Rachel:And I'm like, wow. So much for Vashon's faith in Urs. Because as soon as he's alone with her, he's like, did you kill that guy? And she's like, what? No.
Rachel:I don't treat death like you treat death. Javier is what she calls him. Let me come back to the flashback of her begging for death. She's like, please, please, please, just let it end. I'm ready.
Rachel:I'm good. You do it. You seem nice. This feels like a really good moment. Let's just make this happen.
Rachel:And Veshan's like, no. Okay. And he bites her. And let me come back to the present, and Tracy, is talking to Monica. Monica comes out from behind it, and somehow she has both changed into her ass kicking clothes and fluffed her hair up into
Matt:her ass kicking hairstyle? We know that her personality her her changes between her multiple personalities produce physiological changes in her body. Yeah. Why not hair volume?
Rachel:Sure. Her hair actually stands up higher when she turns into Monica. That makes sense. And Tracy just rolls with it. She's like, okay.
Rachel:Who am I talking to now? She's like, my name is Monica, and she's like, hello, Monica. Nice to meet you. And so Monica's like, yeah. Ellen's not here right now, and she doesn't wanna talk to you.
Rachel:And she's trapped, and I'm the one who frees her. Like, I'm the one who can do this kind of stuff for her. And then we come back because Urs has been talking still. She's like, Monica is in the same cycle that I was in, and I just want to help her. Remember, like, I asked you to help me and you fucked it up royally.
Rachel:And she goes back to her flashback of her waking up as a vampire, and she's like, what is this? And Vashawn's like, oh, what you've asked for?
Matt:Vashawn's like, here, I made this for you. I'm pretty sure. You're welcome.
Rachel:Holds his hand up for a high five. She just leaves him hanging. He says, this is what you asked for, an end and a beginning. And she's
Matt:like, no. No. No. No. No.
Matt:I I wanted just an end. No beginning. Just just Yeah. Boom. Done.
Urs:What is this?
Nick:What do you ask for?
Matt:An end. A beginning.
Rachel:So in the flashback, she's just looking at herself like, oh, shit. And then we come back and Urs is like, I asked you for an ending. I didn't want to bear for an eternity what I couldn't bear for another minute, And this was not about me. This is the only line she gets that I feel like maybe the actress just ad libbed to this whole part because there's no way who wrote the rest for dialogue wrote this line. Because she goes, this was not about me.
Rachel:This was about your desires. This was about you and what you wanted. And because you made this decision about my body, I am now trapped with the consequences for all of eternity.
Urs:I asked you to kill me, not to bring me across, not to bear for eternity what I couldn't bear for another second. I asked for death, and you gave me forever.
Rachel:Forever.
Nick:How could I kill you?
Urs:I know, but I'm the product of your desires. This is what you wanted. You didn't save me any more than I can save Ellen. And her only way of escaping is to become somebody else, and I can't do that.
Rachel:Did you get what I just said, Vashon? And he's like, the calculations.
Nick:It's pretty unfair to his face.
Rachel:And then we go back in, and Monica's getting ready to leave. And Tracy's like, no. No. You can't go. You gotta stay here.
Rachel:And she's like, no. I think I'm gonna go take it. I'm gonna go visit Marnecki. And then Tracy tries to stop her, and she actually vams out. We get the green eyes and the fangs, and she throws Tracy into the screen, and Tracy gets knocked out.
Rachel:And Vashon runs in after he hears the kerfuffle, and Urs actually flies off after Monica. And then this is when Nick shows up just in time to see that Tracy's hurt, and Vashawn is running in from wherever he had fucked off to. And he's like, you had one job.
Nick:1. It's been 20 minutes.
Rachel:I have been gone 25 minutes. You couldn't sit on the stairs that long. Sebastian's like, well, my friend was outside. He goes, I didn't expect this any more than you did, Nick. I'm pretty sure Nick did expect this because that's why he called you and asked you to sit outside.
Rachel:I think that is the very definition of of expecting this to happen, Vashon. And Vashon's like, well, you I don't know. Like, you didn't tell me it was this serious. God. And then Tracy, like, he's like, go, just get out.
Rachel:Just go. And so when Tracy wakes up, Vashawn is not in the room. And she tells Nick that, Monica went to Marnecke because he's like, did she say where she went? Did she say anything? And she's like, woah.
Rachel:She said that she went home with Eckhart, but she didn't kill him, although I find that hard to believe. But she did say she was going to go visit Marnacki. And so Nick is like, cool. Stay here. Stay Will someone fucking listen to me?
Rachel:Stay in this room. I'm calling for help, and he goes out, and Vashon's just sitting on the stairs, and he's, like, you watch her until they come. Do I need to write that down? And Vashon is like, no, I can do it.
Nick:It's fine.
Rachel:And he's like, where did she go? And he's like, I don't know, but she left to go wherever Tracy said she was going, but I think she flew. And Nick is like, I can't with you right now. And so we cut to hot tub sex. I just wanna mention
Matt:mechanically.
Rachel:Oh, yeah. Hot tub foreplay. I was gonna say, I wanna mention, mechanically, hot tub sex, no go. Don't kiss us. Anyway, he's like, oh, this makes all the hockey term hockey term hockey terms worth it.
Rachel:Body checks is one of the ones
Matt:Sport euphemism. Sports
Rachel:sport words. Sport words. He does say body checking, and he's like, speaking of body checking. So she stands up, and then he fucking licks her. This is the 3rd, 3rd aggressive lick we've had this season.
Rachel:I don't know what is happening.
Matt:So I said, Marnecke, more like Marlicky.
Rachel:He, like, licks from her belly button up. What the shit? But then, of course, Monica shows up, which this isn't actually Monica. We find that. This is Jacqueline because she's the vampire personality.
Rachel:And she walks in, and he's like, how did you get up here? And she goes, I flew. And he's like, whatever. Hey, hot babe, go call 911. Go call the police.
Rachel:So she gets up to call the police, and Monica starts on doing her top, and he's like, actually, maybe cancel the police. All 3 of us can just play, and she's like, oh, yeah. Sure. And then he comes over and he, like, makes out with her chest for a little bit, and then there's a lot of slurping and sucking noises and oh, yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah, which you don't hear as much until you're trying to catch, quotes and you have your headphones on.
Rachel:And all
Nick:you can hear is, like,
Rachel:so much. In fact, I was making notes. I didn't even look up. I just looked up when the slurping stopped, but she's like, I'm Jacqueline, and he's like, whatever. And he just keeps making out with him.
Rachel:And then she vamps out and kills him, bites him. And this is when Urs shows up, and she's like, Monica, Jacqueline, I guess. Jacqueline is like, oh, you don't approve, but you dance for the approval of men just like this every night. The man is back in the helm of the writing, I think. Yeah.
Rachel:We don't know why Urs dances. Urs could dance because she likes it. She may like to feel wanted. That's perfectly fine. She's not necessarily dancing because her daddy left her.
Rachel:Okay? Okay. Thanks. We're gonna put that out there. So the Monica Ellen Jacqueline character is, she takes this opportunity to really break down their history.
Rachel:She's like, first, I was just Ellen, and she was a born victim, just like you, Urs, actually, you know, a victim. And then she needed somebody who could, you know, stand up for her, and so that's when Monica appeared. And then Monica's indiscretions led her to a vampire who turned her, and then that's when I showed up. So Ellen is the pain, Monica is the anger, and I am the revenge. And Urs is like, yeah, but you're only making more pain and anger for them.
Rachel:You're lying to them when you say that you're helping them out. It's not true. And it must make kind of a dent because Jacqueline disappears and Ellen reappears. And in the meantime, Nick has flown in, and he's kind of been letting Urs take the helm. The only person who treats Urs in an even remotely respectful manner in this entire episode is Nick.
Rachel:Because she's confronting hers, and he lets her.
Nick:He's like
Matt:He stays back.
Rachel:He's like, she got this. He only comes out when he thinks that the vampires disappeared, and it's Ellen because Ellen is the person he's actually working with on his case. So he comes out as soon as it involves him again. And he's like, Ellen, is that you? And she's like, did I kill that guy?
Rachel:I killed that guy, didn't I? And Ella Nick says, no. You didn't. You know? Just a part of you did.
Rachel:That wasn't you, and so she's like, this has to stop. So she runs and jumps off the building. She's like
Matt:Straight out the window.
Rachel:Yeah. Down the side of the apartment building, and he goes, I could have saved her. And Urs says nothing could have saved her except death. She's lucky. I could
Nick:have saved her.
Rachel:Nothing could have saved her.
Urs:She was like me. Nothing could have saved her except death. She's lucky.
Rachel:She got to die. And Nick does not he's not like, oh, come on, Urs. You've got so much to live for. He just gives her a hug. If you're wondering, this is an appropriate response.
Rachel:I'm not going to invalidate your feelings, Erz. I'm just gonna support you in this moment.
Matt:Right. And he doesn't even do the stereo typical thing of confusing I just want somebody to listen with, I want somebody to offer solutions.
Rachel:Yeah. He gives her soup. She's not asking for medicine. She's asking for soup, and Vashon is giving neither soup nor medicine. I don't know what he's giving.
Rachel:No fucks. That's what he's saying. And so Nick is like, bring it on in. Let's get that hug. So he gives Urs a hug, and it's really sweet.
Rachel:And then we come back, and Urs is talking to Vashon about her daddy issues. She's like, you know, Monica and I had a lot in common because, you know, my dad left when I was young. And for, really, for most of my life, I forgot all about him. And I didn't even realize that I've been continuously looking for his approval for the last 100 years. And I just feel like at this moment, Nick should quietly slip Janette's phone number to hers and be like, I have someone I think that you should go hang out with for a while.
Rachel:Like, you need to ditch fuck boy. He turned you nonconsensually, and then you've just been hanging around with him for a 100 years. He hasn't let you go so that you can work out your issues and grow and confront what's happening. He's just let you he's just I I don't know. I I feel like probably hanging out with the guy that did you so dirty is probably not the solution.
Matt:Probably the
Rachel:opposite of the problem. The problem? I don't know. But Beshan is, like, okay. Well, are you, like, better now?
Rachel:Because she says, you know what? I never realized it before, but now I do. And but I don't know if just knowing it is gonna be enough. It's not hers. You need long you need you need therapy.
Rachel:Like, you need to go talk to somebody about this and unpack those issues so you can move forward into eternity with a better outlook on life. You need the vampire psychologist from I forget what episode we suggest if the vampire psychologist were, like, there's a guy who just hears all of the monster's troubles, and then in the morning, he wakes up with no memory of his entire evening. Just a No.
Matt:Just at the end of the workday, and there's a stack of cash in front of him.
Rachel:Yeah. Yeah. That's what he needs. Erz needs to go see the vampire psychologist guy. There is no shame in seeking help when you are not strong enough to help yourself.
Matt:In fact, do it.
Rachel:In fact, do it.
Matt:It's like you go to the ER when you have a broken bone.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:You go to the doctor to get treatment for things.
Rachel:Yeah. It's no different. Yeah. It's no different. And Vashawn is like, yeah.
Rachel:I don't know. I don't know. Will it help? I don't know. I don't have problems.
Rachel:I'm completely mentally fine. And then he says, and this is really important. He goes, I haven't had the chance to say I'm sorry. He does not actually apologize.
Matt:Yes. And I I
Rachel:You know, follow that up with I'm sorry. He's just like
Matt:I risked on this while we were watching it.
Rachel:He's just like, well, you know, I haven't gotten around to saying I'm sorry.
Matt:I'm not saying I'm sorry now.
Nick:I'm also
Rachel:not saying it now, but I haven't had time in the past either.
Matt:I just wanted to acknowledge that I still haven't gotten around to doing it.
Rachel:Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. And she's like, it's okay. Like, I don't really want you to say you're sorry because I know you're not gonna mean it.
Matt:It would just be performative.
Rachel:He says, do you still wanna die? And she goes, well, I understand more about myself now than I did yesterday, but has it changed my mind? And then she just goes and then walks off. And then Vashawn turns, and there's a lady in a mask standing directly behind them. Like, she's been standing there staring at Vashon the entire time.
Rachel:And I'm like, am I supposed to know who this person is? Is she supposed to be metaphorical?
Matt:Is this the crescent moon mask?
Rachel:No. It's just a white mask, like a complete full face white mask. And we don't know who this person is at all. And so I think it's supposed to be like, is she just wearing a mask? Is she not okay, but she's just wearing a mask?
Rachel:But, honestly, this person is so close. They were listening to the whole conversation.
Matt:Awkward.
Rachel:So it's weird that we don't know who that is. I don't know. But then we come back, and Nick is in his long ass shirt. What why are shirts so long? It's like mid thigh.
Rachel:It is so it's like a mini dress. The shirt is so long and so flowy. And he goes to sit down. He sits down at the piano, and Natalie is looking at this case file. She's like, oh, she's done a bunch of fucked up shit, and it all got dismissed.
Rachel:And that's probably why it didn't show up as her having any kind of a record. And, it's really weird. Maybe, you know, maybe she's killed a lot of people and we just don't know. And Nick is like, yeah. It was so sad.
Rachel:She's like, yeah. Yeah. Terrible. But, hey, have we thought about the implications of what this means for you? And he's like, right now, Natalie.
Rachel:Right now? And Natalie's like, oh, right now. Right now. She goes, she was able to convince herself so strongly that she wasn't a vampire, that she, like, wasn't a vampire sometimes. And Nick is like, yeah.
Rachel:What does this mean for me? And she's like, nothing. I just want you to think about how powerful the mind is in, you know, forming who you are and your expression in reality. So basically, she's like, Nick, maybe you just need to try harder to forget you're a vampire. That will work.
Rachel:Totally. And then we cut to the end, and that's it.
Matt:Nope. There's one more scene.
Rachel:Is
Matt:there? At the morgue.
Rachel:Oh, you're right. And her feet twitchin'.
Matt:And her foot twitches. Only part of her died that day.
Rachel:What if only Jacqueline's left or Monica and Jacqueline? So they really just created, like, an Uber monster? I don't know.
Matt:Jacklanika.
Rachel:It kinda it just made me wish.
Matt:It's it's literally my job.
Rachel:It made me miss Jeanette so bad. I was just like, I want can you remember the episode? Was it, a mark no. It wasn't can't run, can't hide. It's the one where there was the sex worker who was killing other sex workers because she wanted to increase her standing.
Rachel:Like, she wanted to become, like, a pimp herself.
Matt:There can be only 1.
Rachel:Oh, and that was the one where Jeanette was like, we're all ladies of the night. Of course, we're all, like, together on this. And every time Nick tried to butt in, she was like, butt the fuck out. You're you don't know what you're talking about. Get your dick out of here.
Rachel:It's not wanted, and it's not needed, and it doesn't make you smarter in this situation. And I just feel like Janette showing up and staring Vashawn in the face and being like, so you haven't had time to say you're sorry. You got a moment right now. Let's fucking hear it. It just feels like Jeanette would not have stood for a single minute of this dynamic.
Rachel:She would have been, like, oh, so he turned you into a vampire against your will, and you've just been hanging out with him for a 100 years? Would you like to hang out with me? I have a feeling I could teach you a couple of things. Because as we all know, Jeanette's philosophy is the best revenge is revenge.
Matt:Yeah. That's a good line.
Rachel:Yeah. I just feel like Jeanette being the champion for all, disenfranchised female vampires who are from time periods when women were perceived and were forced to act very differently than they are now and that Janette just has this school where everybody goes to modernize their behavior, like, become liberated women. Yeah. I just want that to be Jeanette's future. Like, I just want her to be like, ladies, there is absolutely no reason why these men need to rule vampire, like, vampire mythology and vampire lore and vampire stories.
Rachel:Why have we let these ancient emotionally stunted douchebags run this genre for so many years when we are way, way, way, way, way more interesting. It's time to get it back. That's what I want. That's you know what? That's that's how you know what?
Rachel:That's where I think Jeanette went. I'm just gonna leave that. That's what in my mind
Matt:That's your head canon.
Rachel:That's my head canon. And maybe Urs just needs to go there, and she needs to Jeanette has a bunch of vampire therapists on staff who can help you unpack past trauma. That's what she needs. I get where they're going. I get where they're going.
Rachel:They were trying to give the female character emotional depth by giving her daddy issues. And I just it's fine. It's okay. It's it is what it is. It is what it is.
Rachel:Do I think we would do this better now? Honestly, not always. Not always. At least Veshan wasn't like, have you tried laudanum in the seaside? Have we been to the sea at night lately?
Matt:30% of the time, it works 50% of the time.
Rachel:It's perfectly fine. We'll just oh, you can't drink laudanum because you're a vampire? Shit. Oh, Curari? Wasn't that the one?
Rachel:Yeah. From the that's what he's from. He's not from the baby baby episode. He's the cowboy. Yeah.
Rachel:I got it now. He's the cowboy. So, yeah, maybe they just give her some curate and let her sit by the seaside for a while. That ought to work. I don't know.
Rachel:I don't know. I don't know about this episode. I think I said my piece already. I don't wanna
Matt:I don't wanna let you know.
Rachel:I've said several pieces several times, and then I reiterate it. I just feel like it's important to point out that this was such a missed opportunity. This is not a bad episode. I like this episode. I actually like Nick a lot in this episode because he gets to do a lot of vampire shit that isn't just, I'm gonna catch the bad guy.
Rachel:It's like sensing vampires. He gets to kind of jive with other vampires. Lacroix gets a sassy ass line.
Nick:Sassy ass Lacroix.
Rachel:He's like, oh, great. Brought your own oh oh, you came to visit me because you could have a coaster. That's really cute. Did you Yeah.
Nick:Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel:Did you paint that yourself? Good job. You know? He just got a really I just and we had a lot of really good moments, and we are not supposed to be see Vashawn as toxic in this. He just reads toxic in 2023, and I don't know.
Rachel:I feel like we need a Vashon redemption episode because he had 2 in a row that just aged so poorly. I just I I don't wanna dislike Vashon as much as I do in this moment, and I just I know he's gonna get better. I I hope he's gonna get better. I don't remember him as this bad. I don't.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:So something tells me he's gotta get better or he's gotta go away long enough. I forget how bad he is. He pops back up. I don't know which. I don't know, but I guess we'll just leave it there for this episode.
Rachel:I can't believe we're already on season 3, episode 7.
Matt:Was this episode 7?
Rachel:Yeah. We're 3 away from being, like, halfway done. There's only, like, 21 or 22 episodes in season 3. No. Then we'll have to start back over season 1 episode 1.
Rachel:Look. You're kidding me. I do think it'd be fun to go back and rewatch dark knight and talk about it nostalgically. You having watched the entire series, we're gonna do it.
Matt:You don't have a choice. Sound too bad.
Rachel:You know what? I'm gonna be in this moment, and I'm not gonna let you make your own choices. Okay? That's what I'm gonna do.
Matt:You're gonna violate my autonomy?
Rachel:Yeah. You're gonna be like, okay. Let's never watch forever night again. I'm like, okay, honey. And then the credits come up and it's bada bada.
Rachel:I said I didn't want forever night. I know, but this is what you really asked for. I heard what you said between the lines.
Nick:What is this?
Rachel:You were afraid to fully express what you actually wanted, so I'm giving you what I think you wanted.
Matt:What I know you wanted.
Rachel:What I know you wanted, but couldn't say because you're such a good boy. There's a thing in book talk right now. Like, good girl is like a thing. Like, oh, good girl, you're mine. Good girl are, like, these phrases, these tropey phrases that women look for.
Rachel:And, honestly, if you ever not ironically said good girl to me, do you know the amount of rage I would have? I'm sorry. What? Am I a dog? Am I a child?
Rachel:What the fuck? Good girl? Get
Matt:oh, no. In the queue.
Rachel:Good girl. Yeah. If you wanna have a a week in the in the not on the couch, yeah, that'd be a really good way to I just don't I don't I don't know. I don't like to be infantilized even remotely, and I feel like that's what he does to her. He's like, you don't know what you want, but I know what you want, so it's cool.
Rachel:You said you wanted to die, but, like, how dead? How dead are we talking? Because you won't have a heartbeat anymore, but you'll still get to walk around. What do you think? And you get to hang out with Screed for a 100 years?
Rachel:Because he's my buddy. Screed, does he even get a line? I think he just smiles at her, and then he gets hit in the face with a glove, and then he never comes back.
Matt:There's one scene where we see him when Vashon gets up to put the other guy in his place. We see Screed sitting down next to where Vashon was sitting.
Rachel:Yeah. That's when he hits him in the face with a glove.
Nick:With the glove?
Rachel:Yeah. After when Erz
Matt:They're both sitting in chairs. Yeah. Vashon stands up, and we see Screed sitting down. Yeah. But then later, Screed is standing up
Rachel:Next to ers. Yeah. Yeah. And that's when he smacks him in the face. Yeah.
Rachel:Those are Yeah.
Matt:The two times we see.
Rachel:Wonder why we included that random third character if we're never really gonna talk to him. I don't know. And I've made a couple mentions about how I don't understand screed, and somebody was like, I don't know how you can't understand screed. Or maybe I'm they made a comment about understanding screed. This is an auditory processing issue.
Rachel:He talks too fast, and he doesn't talk in a manner that I can easily predict, and I don't have subtitles for any of our versions. So it's not Screed. It's me. The problem isn't Screed. The problem is me.
Rachel:I require subtitles unless I already know what people are gonna say. The rest of the dialogue, I could probably just say the whole episode, but, Screed, I can't. I can't. And so
Matt:I can pick up most of the words he's saying. Yeah. But I'm not, I guess, familiar enough with the, like, Cockney rhyming slang
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:Thing to actually parse
Rachel:What he's saying.
Matt:Actually Yeah.
Rachel:I get the gist. Meaning is. I can get the gist. I mean, I know the gist of what he's saying, so it's fine. But, yeah, it's not him.
Rachel:It's me. It's not a criticism on the actor or the voice or the slang or anything like that. I he's a cool character. I think he's great. I personally don't understand what he's saying because I don't have subtitles to help me out.
Rachel:So, you know, that's not a criticism on the show, except I wish that the DVD versions they put out would have subtitles and or I could purchase the 3rd season on anything other than Apple TV. I'm just gonna leave it there because Because we were gonna leave it already. And then we picked it back up. And now we're putting it back down again.
Matt:Another ending.
Rachel:Another an end. A beginning. Until next time, friends.
Nick:Bye. Bye.