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We need a new definition of success—one that harmonizes meaning and money.
Imagine diving into your workday with renewed energy, leaving behind the exhaustion or dread of a monotonous grind.
Traditional beliefs about success and the root cause of burnout are the same:
Prove yourself.
Work harder.
Take care of the business, and it will take care of you.
We’re recycling the mindset and practices that keep us stuck. Our souls need a jumpstart into The Age of Humanity.
Tune in for a new way of working that honors our nervous system and the bottom line, using knowledge of the brain, the Bible, and business. We’ll discuss timeless truths that amplify growth, ignite change, and reshape the world of work. No corporate speak or business BS. Let’s get to the heart of a rewarding career and profitable growth.
We speak human about business.
What’s in it for You?
Value, Relevance, and Impact (VRI): No, it's not a new tech gadget—it's your ticket to making your work genuinely matter to you and your company.
Human-Centric Insights: We prioritize people over profits without sacrificing the bottom line. Think less "cog in the machine" and more "humans helping humans."
I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hesson, your thrive guide leading you into the new Age of Humanity. I’ve navigated the highs and lows of business and life, from achieving over $40 million in sales, teaching thousands of people around the world about leadership, trust, execution, and productivity to facing burnout, divorce, raising a couple of great humans (one with ADHD), and navigating the uncertainty of starting a business.
I’m committed to igniting change in the world by jumpstarting business into profitable growth with the timeless truths of our humanity.
Sound crazy? It’s only crazy until it works.
Hit subscribe to never miss an episode, and leave a review to help other listeners discover our show.
Want insight and advice on your real career and business challenges? Connect with me on social media or email me at rebecca@wethrive.live. Your story could spark our next conversation.
[00:00:00] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Welcome back to the Business is Human podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, and we're here to bring you episodes that blend a meaningful work with profitable success here to steward what I call the Age of Humanity.
[00:00:24] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I believe if we transform the way we work, we can transform the way that we live. As always, my friendly request. If you like what you hear, hit subscribe so you don't miss any episode. And leave a review to tell the other humans that they might like it too. Always looking to help you and connect with others.
[00:00:41] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: All right, let's get into it, shall we? Welcome back to the show. I hope your new year is off to a fabulous start. Honestly, I don't know what's going on with me this year, but I dunno, I might be turning into a crutch deal, man, or. Horne is just doing a good work in me and my heart is being convicted in different ways.
[00:01:03] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'm gonna hope that it's that one. The reason I say that is, I don't know, social media is just, um, I've kind of had it, not that it matters, right? So social media is not a requirement of life. It, in fact, what it feels like it's become, to me, is a burden. And so today we're gonna talk about burdens and responsibilities and the connection of those two, me feeling this some kind of way about social media and the topic at hand for today just came to me, quite frankly, before I hit,
[00:01:41] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: oh, I log on. Actually, I, I have stopped Instagram and TikTok completely for a couple weeks 'cause I'm. At the beginning of the year, I always dedicate some time to fasting to draw closer to the Lord and hear from him what he wants from me this year before I start setting any goals and expectations, which is a practice that I love, and it has netted me powerful results.
[00:02:05] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And so the other day I was thinking, well, here I'm fasting to draw closer to the Lord. Then I'm spending my evenings scrolling. Like, how am I hearing from the Lord if I'm just like watching TikToks? Dumb. So I said, okay, just delete them until I think I fast in's the 25th or something of January. I don't even know.
[00:02:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I have found that to be really helpful and it only feels weird for a day or two. And when you pick up your phone, you're like, oh yeah, I don't do that anymore. But I went on to LinkedIn to truly look up something about someone, and I was scrolling through there and I was like. You know that verse, I don't even remember where it's at.
[00:02:46] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Ecclesiastics, maybe, I dunno. Solomon who had everything was rich and famous, but he has those verses where he is like, it's all nothingness. It's none of it matters. And what he is saying is he's, he's rich, he's done it all. He is had it all. He's would've been like entrepreneur of the year if he was around now.
[00:03:05] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And he is saying none of it matters without God, which I. I have always, you know, not always. I am very much what got to be first and foremost in my life. But lately everything feels kinda, I don't know, I just was scrolling through LinkedIn. I was like, everybody's just like shouting and nobody's listening.
[00:03:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Like everybody's got the answer. And I've been there. I've been one of those people posting that stuff. Listen, I'm not shaming or a passing judgment. I'm saying how it feels. For me right now. So I, again, I don't know if I'm turning into a crutch new old man and everything's gonna start feeling that way, or the Lord is doing a kid work on me doing my fast.
[00:03:46] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: We're gonna believe in that one. But anyway, I come to you today to talk about burdens and responsibilities. This is a topic that I brought to our Rise and Thrive alum community for our January retreat, which was so much fun. We rented a. House and, oh gosh, I don't know, 12 or so, people stayed all night and 20 came for the day and was just so good for us to be together.
[00:04:16] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And several people ended up with either being sick or sick kids or travel that didn't make it. And they were NIST and we were disappointed that they couldn't make it. But I was thinking. For those that couldn't make it to the retreat. I started to put a video together for them, but I was like, yeah, Mel, what?
[00:04:36] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I bet all the listeners would love that too. So here we are, burdens and responsibilities. I think a really important bit of context for this is based on the new year, first and foremost, which is that from a seasonal perspective. Winter is not the time that we are supposed to be. Um, setting goals and going after it.
[00:05:07] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Winter is a time of rest and digest in reflection, and not just rest and digest, but reflection time, hibernation, winter, especially here in the Midwest. So if you're not feeling like, yeah, we go, me setting all my goals, doing all my things for 2026, if that feels burdensome right now. That would make sense.
[00:05:29] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Relax, because really goal setting is a spring activity, new growth, new things. So give yourself some slack if that's the case. The second bit of context that's important for us with this topic is that work is supposed to be hard. There's a lot of things in our lives that. Will be hard and God never said it wouldn't be hard.
[00:06:01] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: In fact, the minute that Satan entered the scene and created separation from God, Genesis says, you know, we're gonna toil. It's gonna be a little rough sometimes, a lot rough, but God will always be with us. And so. Chasing after comfort and ease might not be the best thing. Now, do we need to rest? Do we need to take breaks?
[00:06:32] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Do we need to have comfort and joy and, and friendships and fun in our lives? Yes, but the difficulty of our jobs isn't because we're not doing it right. It's part of the deal and. I think that's an important bit of context, that if things are hard, that's not because you're doing it wrong. That's just because you know, life, be life and, and we on this physical earth till Jesus comes.
[00:06:59] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's just, that's just why it's going be. So another bit of context is all of our thoughts come from love or fear, and I've talked about that many, many, many episodes and. What happens when we're in a and and love and fear aren't emotions, they're states of being okay. So when you're in a state of love, you feel safe enough to feel connected.
[00:07:28] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: When you are in a state of fear, there's something that feels threatening to you. Whether it's uncertainty or a real threat. Fear is not a bad thing. We were wired up with fear to protect us. When we get that, that funny feeling that something's not right, then it's just like the hair standing up on the back of our neck.
[00:07:49] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's real, that's protection. I was doing a keynote on the east coast one time and I had a lot of time before I, I needed to speak and I was gonna go on a long run and I asked the front desk person, Hey, is there a place close that I can go to where I can get several miles of run in, maybe along some water?
[00:08:04] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Something pretty. Better than you know, the parking lot here at the hotel. And she sent me this little park not too far away, and I pulled in really early in the morning before the park opened and there was this truck sitting off to the side and all the hairs in the back of my neck stood up. And I just had this spidey sense fear.
[00:08:23] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is not where I wanna get outta the car and go run early in the morning. And so I just sat there in my car for a little bit and just pondering that thought and trusting my reaction, my fight flight fear re reaction that we were equipped with. And within a few minutes, the person who was there to work the front gate of the park hold in and, and she walked up to my car and said, Hey, can I help you?
[00:08:49] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Because I was parked there in the parking lot and I said, yeah. I was gonna go for a run, but then I pointed to the truck and I said, I don't like the way that feels. So I just opted not to. I think I'm gonna go back to the hotel. And she goes, yeah, I've never seen that truck before. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable too.
[00:09:04] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'm gonna call somebody. So I'm confident that my spidey sense was of fear was protecting me from that. And so fear, we're not gonna say that fear is a bad thing. We never want to have fear. I want you to listen to the fear. What I'm saying is not everything that we, in business paint as a fear actually is.
[00:09:28] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: A lot of times uncertainty in general becomes something that we fear. And so we, we believe that we need to control everything in order to feel okay, and that is the counterfeit of love and connection when you feel like you have to control it all. You're really living from a nervous system, state of protection, AKA fear.
[00:09:57] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So when we're in a state of. Love and connection. We feel safe enough to expand our energy and we feel open heart, open mind, open hands, just a softer way of moving through the world. Um, I don't like the word soften, um, because being in this state of love and connection takes a lot of big intention, and it's not always easy to stay in that place.
[00:10:26] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Soft is probably not the right word, but when we're in this state, we feel like I'm safe enough to grow and connect. When we're in a fear-based state, we feel like we have to control everything to feel safe. So we have this belief that we are, our sense of safety is conditional. When I take care of all the situations that are coming at me, then I'll be okay.
[00:10:50] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: When I get caught up, then I'll be okay. When I get to this place, I'll be okay. When anything outside of yourself is required for you to feel okay, you're not in a state of love and connection, you're in a state of protection and fear. And so when you're in a state of love and connection, you, your, your body and your cells can shift into this state of repair and you get.
[00:11:16] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Intuition and empathy, and you see lots of options and your creativity is, is online and your problem solving is online. That's the good stuff. When we're in a state of protection and fear, blood flow prioritizes survival, not creativity and connection. And so your brain and your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger or mistakes or rejection or loss.
[00:11:45] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: It's like bad things are around me, so I have to protect myself. And eventually your cellular system says, Hey, we can't keep this up, because the protective state of fear is meant to be short term, not a long-term state of being. It's meant to be like, I pulled into the parking lot. I feel weird about that truck.
[00:12:05] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'm gonna go. Then get back to a place of love and connection. We're not meant to live there all day, all week, all month, all season, all year for decades. So, so that's the part that I get concerned about. The thoughts that run through your head when you're in a state of love are, I've got enough. There's lots of things happening.
[00:12:27] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: There's still situations, there's still stuff coming at me. There's still work to do, but I can respond instead of react. I know that, uh, the Lord loves me. He's with me. I know that I've got a team. I know that I've got a good family. I am supported. I can rest and still be okay. There's lots of solutions. I just need to find the next best decision.
[00:12:51] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: When you're in a state of protection and fear, your thoughts sound like, uh, I gotta prove myself. What if I mess this up? I can't slow down. I'm behind. This could all fall apart. Those thoughts are protective thoughts, and many of them, most of them, maybe all of them are not actually true. So fear is the nervous system asking, are we safe, are we okay?
[00:13:20] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And love is what becomes available. When the answer is yes, we are okay. And so sometimes. We try to think our way out of protection and fear, but that's not the way it works. We need to regulate ourselves there. We need rest. We need breath work, we need movement. We need perspective. That's why willpower and positive thinking and just have faith doesn't really work when someone's in a state of dysregulation, especially if somebody's in a chronic state of dysregulation like I used to be.
[00:14:01] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Fear narrows, love expands. Fear protects. Love connects. So why does this matter? Well, as a career professional, somebody that's a high performer, likely, if you're listening to this podcast, I want you not to end up in burnout from chronic dysregulation and protection, feeling like you need to control it all in order to feel okay.
[00:14:24] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So high achievers often live in this protective fear state without even realizing it. It is protection and fear that gets dressed up and it looks like responsibility or ambition or work ethic. In fact, you probably have gotten praised for it. I know I was, and it kept me stuck for a long, long time feeling like it was all on me.
[00:14:51] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And if I didn't take care of my job and everybody else's job, then I was gonna be the one that was gonna suffer for it. That's why we're having this conversation today. So the, the body doesn't care what we call it, whether we call it responsibility, ambition, work ethic. What it knows is from a cellular perspective that it feels like constant activation, and I gotta be diligent because I know, know what's coming at me.
[00:15:19] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Next. I want us to move through a state of. Regulation where we can always have all the stuff going on. You always got projects, you always got challenges, you always got stuff. But you come at it from a place where you are regulated, clear, grounded, and far more powerful to address the challenges that that we have.
[00:15:42] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So before we ask ourselves, okay, what, what's the action plan? What should I do? We wanna ask ourself what state? Am I in? Am I in a state of love and connection? Am I feeling grounded and like I've, I've got this, or am I in a state of protection? Because the energy that flows from each of those states is very different so that there's this state of I'm either in love or fear and protection versus the situation that you're in.
[00:16:14] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: You're always gonna have situations coming at you. You're always gonna have challenges. You're always gonna have projects. But state, whether it's love or fear is the place that you're operating from, not the situation that we're in. And this is all just groundwork that I'm setting before we get to burdens and responsibilities.
[00:16:35] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So when you're in a calm and grounded state, open, expanded love connection, you've got greater perspective about that. You can actually listen without just your own thoughts spinning in the background. You have more flexibility. You are responsive versus reactive. But when you're in that protective overwhelm state, everything feels urgent.
[00:17:02] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Little things feel huge. You're defensive, maybe withdrawn, and we typically jump to conclusions. I know I've been there. Was there this morning, had to apologize for it. So there's, even knowing these things doesn't make you, uh, doesn't mean you're never gonna face these situations. I want you to have the right perspective.
[00:17:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So when you do jump into one of these states of being, you could stop yourself and say, hold on, I need some regulation before I respond to that. So I wanna help you notice where fear and protection is unnecessarily. Driving your life so you can identify what are those things that you can release so that you gain greater capacity to engage with the things that are your responsibility from a place of love rather than fear.
[00:17:56] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So again, fear isn't bad, it's just information. It has a place in our lives to protect us and guide us. But too often in business, we think that everything is. Fear and protection or too much. So I want you to think about all of the things that you're carrying right now that feel heavy. Things from work, family, money, health, general, expectations about life, a decision you're struggling to make.
[00:18:28] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Just take a moment and just think about some of those things that just feel heavy. Just give you a minute to do that. Pretend like I'm playing Jeopardy music in the background. You can sing it for yourself,
[00:18:48] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: all right? You've probably got at least one, and you can always come back and do this with the others later. So a burden is something that is heavy, that you feel like you're carrying on your own. It's all on you. A responsibility. Is something that you are meant to tend to, but like everything in our lives, you're meant to tend to it probably with others.
[00:19:21] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: You have a piece of it, but you're not responsible for all of it. Let me give you a couple of examples. I have an example that's parenting, and I have an example that is leadership because I picked the two that are just like the biggest responsibility. Things that we carry that are heavy, because I thought if we can give the examples around these, then it'll be easier to apply to so many other things.
[00:19:47] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So parenting burden versus responsibility. A burden of parenting is if you feel like you are responsible for how your child turns out. There are so many factors. It feels like a constant worry where you have to control every aspect of their lives because it's all on you. And that your worth rises and falls based on their choices.
[00:20:14] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So fear and protection of yourself drives your parenting. Now let's compare that to responsibility. Your responsibility as a parent is how you show up for your child to provide love and guidance and boundaries, and help and nutrition. To model what regulation looks like, to model the values that you care about as a family, but also to understand that there are a lot of outcomes that you can't control because when we burden ourselves with believing that everything is up to us.
[00:21:00] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: We're not really in a connective relationship. We're we're, we're controlling everything for our kids so you can influence deeply with responsibility without the worry, fear, and ownership to control everything. When you're in a burdensome state, feeling like it's all on you and you have to control everything, your body feels it, you feel tight.
[00:21:27] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Anxious, exhausted all the time and responsibility. You can carry all of the weightiness of responsibility of parenting and still be grounded and present and a steady force for them. But the energy you bring into your parenting will be different when you feel the protective burden versus the responsibility.
[00:21:54] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Let's keep going. Here's a leadership example. The burden in leadership is I'm responsible for everyone's performance and their results burden is I over function and micromanage and stay on high alert because of this, and all of the outcomes for them feel really personal to me, and pressure and fear drive my leadership versus responsibility, which is.
[00:22:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'm responsible for how I lead, how I show up, how I set vision and clarity and expectations and boundaries, and I create safety and I give resources and accountability. And I allow, allow them my team to have ownership and autonomy and agency over their choices because I've created the conditions for them to succeed.
[00:22:51] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: When I do that as a leader, we can succeed together, but there are times that people don't rise to that level of expectation. Do that. But if you feel like your identity and your responsibility is based on their performance, that's a burden. So I want you to reframe it to, I lead the environment. I don't own or become the outcome as my identity.
[00:23:16] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So if you're moving through your leadership role, constantly tense and reactive versus steady, clear, knowing your responsibility energetically, you're gonna show up differently. Burdens are other people's emotions, how they feel about the work. Burdens or outcomes that you can't guarantee because there's too many other circumstances involved that are not within your circle of influence.
[00:23:47] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: A burden is trying to be everything to everyone proving your worth and believing that you always have to hold it all together, versus responsibilities which are showing up reliably, regularly, consistently making the next. Best decision, having honest conversations, addressing issues, addressing things quickly, clearly managing resources, money, time, with order wisely, caring for your health yourself, and leading with integrity.
[00:24:27] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So when we are feeling the sense of burden, we're putting that protective, I'm in charge of it all. Fearful energy into it. And so what I am encouraging you to do is sit down and, and when you can make a list of all those things that feel heavy, and then based on these descriptions, ask yourself which of these are burdens and which are responsibilities.
[00:24:57] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And what I did with the group for the retreat is once they had listed their burdens. I had 'em do it on a separate piece of paper, and then we just folded them up and put 'em in a big old box in the middle of the room, which you can also do in your office or your room. And then I prayed over them because releasing a burden doesn't mean you stop caring.
[00:25:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: In fact. You are a caring, responsible individual. That's why you listen to podcasts like these, that's why you became a leader. And so releasing the burdens doesn't mean you stop caring. It means you stop carrying the protective energy that's not serving you well. And so I, I prayed over them. I said, God, we acknowledge that many of these burdens were never ours to control.
[00:25:53] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: We release what we've been holding outta fear. Pressure or responsibility that isn't ours. We trust you with what we cannot fix, manage, or guarantee. And as we release these, we ask for clarity, peace, and love. Where responsibility remains. Now that we've created some capacity to focus, bless these responsibilities.
[00:26:20] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So one of the most powerful things you can do with your burdens is give them to the Lord, give 'em to God. He got way more power and authority to deal with them than you do. And when you give them to him, you create so much more capacity for you to handle your responsibilities with greater care and love.
[00:26:42] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I started doing this years ago. I had a lot of heavy, big things in my life that I couldn't control. 'cause I tried and they were destroying me, trying to control them. And so I started picturing what I called a burden box. And I would go on walks or I would sit in my prayer time in the morning. And those things that were just too heavy, they were just too big.
[00:27:11] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I couldn't, I couldn't. I would picture myself putting them in this wooden box, and sometimes I would actually write them out and fold them up and picture myself handing them to Jesus like he was sitting right beside me and I would say, Hey, I don't know what to do with these, but I trust that you do. And so.
[00:27:36] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I know that you know every circumstance about every person that's involved in this situation, things that I could never, ever know, and so I'm gonna trust that you're gonna take care of these. But if there's anything that is mine that I'm supposed to deal with, conversations I'm supposed to have, things I'm supposed to do, let me know and I will handle them.
[00:27:59] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'll take care of them. But if not, I'm gonna trust that you got this. That practice served me, it still serves me. I still do that as a practice so well, and over the last year or so, I've been thinking about it as a, as a business practice, because at the time these were personal things that were huge for me, big burdens.
[00:28:25] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And now I'm realizing that. We have a lot of these in our work situation, and so that's why I came up with this Burdens versus Responsibilities activity for the retreat, for my rise and thrive folks, because I wanted, and I want you and them and me to move through this year of 2026 firmly standing tall in our responsibility, but not carrying the burdens that weigh us down.
[00:28:58] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So once you have your list of responsibilities, you've released your burdens, then you can just continue to check in with yourself on keeping them in the responsibility column and not putting them in the burden column by saying, I know that I'm gonna take the next right step. I'm gonna do my part and stay grounded.
[00:29:21] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I can move at a sustainable pace and handle this. Rest helps me show up better. It's a big one. Instead of, I have to get this right, this is all on me. I can't slow down. If I stop, everything falls apart. We're gonna leave that burdensome energy in the burden box. So a couple of statements, mantras, declarations that you can use as you work through this is, I can carry responsibility without carrying fear.
[00:29:55] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I lead from love, not fear, attend what's mine, and trust God with the rest. This matters, but it doesn't own me. Calm is my superpower. I respond, not react. My worth is securing God. I influence without controlling. I am guided. I'm never alone. Love leads. God provides. Those are just a few suggestions. Feel free to come up with any of your own, and I am sending you all of the love and great responsibility for the rest of your year.
[00:30:38] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And if you look at your responsibility list and you start creating statements that come from this place of love, I think you'll find that the toilsome hard work feels better. It feels better to serve from a place of love than it does from fear. I know that from my experience. I know it from the clients that I work with, and I want that for you too.
[00:31:03] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: All right, y'all. Hey, if you are in the Indianapolis area, or you wanna travel in on March 12th is our annual stand Tell in your story event. It's at Indiana with ballroom. Go to my website and there's a link called Stand Tall, and you learn a lot more about it. If you're looking for a place to bring some team, clients, prospects and have amazing conversations, hmm, this is the place to do it.
[00:31:29] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Message me. I'm happy to give you more information about it. Indianapolis folks, people here in in my local area. You know the drill, there was 350 of you there last year, and I think we're probably gonna have 500 this year. I just have that in my spirit, so get in the room, it's gonna be great. And if you are looking at your responsibilities in your year thinking you might need someone to come and speak about some of these Business is Human topics, or coach you, I've got capacity, so gimme a shout.
[00:32:01] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: All right, y'all. Love you. Minutes back. I'm not coming down. I never locked on the ground. I'm not coming down. Thanks for being here. You can follow us on Instagram. Business is Human or TikTok. Rebecca Fleetwood Hession. It's a great way to share some of the clips with your colleagues and friends. All right, make it a great day.
[00:32:23] Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Love you mean it.