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Yapping about movies, tv shows, reality tv, pop culture moments, and anything else that I can't get off my mind.
Check out my socials @ihavetosaypod on Instagram, Tik Tok, and Threads or @lyssa_posts_ on Instagram and Threads :)
Newest Release, "Stassi Schroeder + Harry Jowsey, wtf was that?!" will be out 9/16/26!
Hello and welcome to the I Have to Say Podcast.
Today, I have to say…Love Island USA Season 8 is almost officially over and I have some final thoughts before letting this season completely go forever, minus the few islanders I enjoy.
I know it’s been a while. I fell behind on recapping the episodes and ended up watching them without keeping any notes. Since then, we’ve had a death in the family, so I haven’t had time to do anything really with the podcast and jumping back in has taken some time, so before the reunion comes and goes I want to put out some final thoughts on the season that I didn’t get to say earlier and just analyze this season of Love Island USA as a whole.
Before we get into it though, first I want to say congratulations to Bryce and Trinity! Since Casa, it was pretty clear they were going to be the winners and my top two made it to the top two and my top four made it to the top four so I was happy with how it all ended.
The finale was magical. They pulled out all the stops and for me, it made up for the lack of dates in the whole series. The budget was clearly spent on this finale episode and it was heartwarming to watch them all reflect on their journeys.
There’s been A LOT of conversations about these islanders and the situations they were in and I have a lot of thoughts, not just about what’s gone down in and out of the villa by the islanders, but also about people’s responses online to what’s happened.
Let’s talk about it!
If you’re over the season or think “it’s too late” to talk about this, then this isn’t for you! This episode is really for people who like to talk about how reality tv is a microcosm of the real world.
So, if that’s you, thank you for joining me. Thank you for being here. And let’s get started.
White & Blonde
I want to start with Kenzie and her shock with no one being attracted to her. On a human level, I understand why that stings and I’m not so much talking about that as I am her disbelief and shock about it.
She’s a blonde, white woman in America, the ideal beauty standard in the U.S., and I feel like that was her first time being rejected because of an attribute, and listening ti her talk about it on Aftersun, I just can’t help but think girl…you’re not going to get the sympathy you think you are, at least from me.
And I know Kenzie can be entertaining and people have come to enjoy her, but that comment gave me the ick and I refuse to get over it or let it go. It’s one of those things that on the outside doesn’t seem bad, to some people not to me, but if you dig deeper it is actually suspect, bordering on ignorant, and…yeah…I just can’t feel any sympathy from that perspective when year after year Black women have the same concerns, and not even just not being someone’s type, but also being stereotyped, looked down on, villainized, typecasted, and disrespected in the process.
Her continuous framing of herself as a victim because she didn’t have options in the beginning was just tone deaf to me… And it was clear Kenzie held onto that until another blonde came in because she clung to Jen the minute she walked in and even brought it up on AfterSun that Jen experienced how hard it was being the only blonde too. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically what she said, which again, a tone-deaf thought to admit on national tv while being the beauty standard in the U.S.
Someone who was self-aware wouldn’t say that out loud. And this is a different show, but I think about Claire on Big Brother, and how she knew better than to question an all-Black alliance (even though if she went with it, she would’ve been right) and how after her elimination she said in an interview that even though she felt blindsided, she was proud of Tiffany standing up for what she believed in.
So when I talk about Kenzie’s comment, that I’m sure was harmless to her, it stayed with me and through talking it out with others, I realized that Kenzie talking about it makes it seem like she’s oppressed and othered as a blonde women and I find it all to be so unmoving, especially as America is backtracking on social rights.
I’m not knocking her for her experience, but I am challenging the way she has talked about it because I think someone who understands the reality in America, not just for people who aren’t blonde, but also for people who aren’t white, wouldn’t talk about it this casually in the way Kenzie has.
My opinion might be one of those things that you either get or you don’t get but it just comes across as ignorant to me and it’s hard for me to ignore it and glaze over it the way others have.
It’s also feeling like Kenzie has been saying blonde when she really means white because until Jen and Jaiden, Kenzie wasn’t just the only blonde woman, but she was also the only fully white woman on the season.
Her ego being bruised is one thing, but her inability to read the room and the fact that she tries to paint herself as a victim, from how I perceive it, you don’t have to see it that way but that’s how I see it…I just can’t with that.
And to make matters worse, in between the time of the finale and the reunion, people online have acted as if Kenzie was bullied and ditched by the Core 4 for one reason or another.
And I don’t know if it’s so much people trying to make Kenzie into a victim or if it’s people trying villainize the Core 4, but it’s not lost on me that weeks after the finale people are trying to turn the white blonde woman into a victim deserving of saving from the scary Black girls.
Which is again, why Kenzie’s comments and her framing irritates me so much.
The Treatment of Black Women (And People)
Because if we wanna talk about people who have truly been treated unfairly, it’s the Black women on the show; and because we have a colorist problem, whether people consciously know they’re colorist or not, the darker-skinned Black women get the shortest of the sticks year after year. This year, it was Aniya primarily.
Even before the season started, people were coming for her cast picture and picking apart her appearance. To be real, those pictures didn’t do any of them justice, but I also wasn’t on here talking poorly about them and picking apart their pictures because that’s wild. Being attractive is a prerequisite of being on Love Island, so obviously they were all going to look good.
People’s treatment of Aniya escalated to people calling her colorist, racist, and anti-Black with no actual rhyme or reason for why people thought this about her besides projection. People tore her down to try to uplift KC, and though I haven’t seen the pictures myself, I know people have edited her face onto racially motivated pictures and I actually did see ones comparing KC to freedom fighters and it all just got out of pocket and went way too far.
It wasn’t even just Aniya that experienced horrible treatment from the Love Island fanbase. Trinity and Titi also have been talked about poorly to varying degrees. Titi was shown to look more masculine and I’ve seen a few pictures where she’s turned into a gorilla in a dress and that shit is not funny.
Trinity has been called mean and aggressive when she stands up for her friends.
Let me be very clear though because I know how people love to twist things, I’m not saying that we, as Black women, are above critiques, but I do peep how hypercritical people are of us and how people’s criticisms and behaviors towards Black women become more racially charged and flat out disrespectful when they don’t like the person (or if that person is better off, as quiet as it's kept). And look, one day we need to talk about the "crabs in a barrel" mentality and people wanting to humble Aniya just because she's living a blessed life, but I'll just sip my tea today and say that Black women truly are not given the same grace as other people and we’ve seen that play out this season.
Aniya’s called insecure and annoying as if she’s the only person the entire season who expressed insecurity in any way.
People think Trinity is doing too much as if people haven’t been applauded before for yelling and standing up for their friends on reality tv across generations.
Titi is turned into an ape for not backing down in a conversation and defending her couple.
And after Aniya and Trinity yelled, people were questioning if Carl and Bryce would still like them as if people don’t sometimes yell or act out of character. The show is over and people still question Bryce’s and Carl’s intentions as if they can’t like Black women and I hate it.
I know we’ve been scammed by people before on Love Island but I think people are trying to sniff out the scammers and it’s counterproductive to the entire situation. Let things be what they are and play out how they do and if you get got you get got. It’s not your money they’re winning and you can stop supporting anyone at any time. I get the feelings of betrayal but it does toe a line of being parasocial because you’re not in their relationship and you don’t know any of these people.
But anyway, back to my point, I’ve talked about how hard it is to engage in reality tv as a Black woman on a different podcast episode, and that still stands and will until we truly change as a country.
Like, for me, I wanna say how I feel about Titi and KC, but that has to be pushed aside for later because now we have to address people being racist and disrespectful and address those who have double standards on how they think Black women should act compared to their non-Black counterparts.
And while I don’t think KC and Titii’s placement on the show (not getting 5th place) has anything to do with them being Black as Titi suggested on Aftersun, I do think some people’s treatment of them post-show IS because people are racist.
Titi and KC’s comments at some point were off on Instagram. At some point in Tierra’s comment section on Tik Tok, on her old videos, people were posting the pictures that were intended to emasculate KC and show her as masculine. I just saw one saying she needs anger management which is extra as hell. On Tik Tok, people are also leaving KC hate comments on his old videos making fun of him in similar ways.
Sincere’s family called Aniya “Shrek” and there was a moment where her comments were flooded with people calling her Shrek and leaving disrespectful emojis.
And listen, I feel how I feel about KC and his actions and behaviors on the show, but you will NEVER see me in his comment section or dms or any of that leaving hate comments and I think it’s very weird behavior and I’m not fucking with it.
I really wish for a world where Black women (and Black people in general) can get on any reality tv show and not be super hyperaware of how they’re perceived or have their intentions misread or have to worry about the racism and hate they’ll receive that people pretend is about what they saw on tv when it’s really about their hatred.
The KC of it All
That being said, I do want to talk about the KC of it all…a little bit about what happened on the show, but mainly I want to talk about certain reactions that people have had in defense of KC because I find it to be a symptom of larger societal issues.
I remember when the first episode of Love Island USA came out this season and there was no one behind KC’s door. On this podcast I said that he took it really well, and that I definitely would’ve been hurt, but I didn’t mean I would be so hurt that I carried that throughout the season.
And it’s kinda in line with the Kenzie thing about not feeling attractive or wanted because Zach told her he didn’t like blondes, the only difference was that we didn’t know that KC was still holding onto the door situation until post casa. I remember thinking and the general reaction being that KC actually took it really well and whether it’s because those scenes didn’t make it to air or if it’s because he didn’t express his feelings until casa…I guess we will never know.
But he didn’t take it as well as we thought and the rejection he felt, though valid because it is his feelings and you can’t control that, I think led him to feeling like a victim in the situation when in reality, it didn’t have to be a situation where anyone was a victim.
All KC had to do was be honest and firm, regardless of Aniya’s reactions and feelings, and he was not. Before you argue with me, actually sit down and rewatch the show now that the internet isn’t talking about it. KC waffled between “yes, I want to explore” and “No. You’re my top choice” or whatever he had said. He would reassure Aniya and then tell her he wanted to be open, only to then act like she had nothing to worry about, which is confusing. People think she was looking for reassurance, and maybe she was, but I would also say she was looking for clarity.
Regardless, the situation continued to escalate up until after movie night. What happened happened and I don’t want to get too deep into the nitty gritty of it all. You can find my opinions on threads if you’re curious, but the takes online have still stayed with me, even after all of this time.
It sparked conversations on what people consider disrespectful and could really be a case study on people’s tolerance of disrespect, because clearly some people will tolerate higher levels of disrespect than me. I don’t know if it’s because they find KC attractive, if it’s their feelings towards Aniya, or what but it high-key scares me that the behavior has been defended by both men and women. Some of those people have to be lying, ‘cause there is no way someone laughs while you’re crying, switches up on you the way KC did to Aniya, and then you find out that behind your back the person you’re interested in says he doesn’t give a fuck (when talking about you potentially connecting with someone else) and you after hearing alla that, you would just take it on the chin.
Honestly, that’s when I realized KC defenders were not serious people.
And look, a week after the reunion, I’m done with this season, you know, minus a few of the islanders I enjoy and will be supporting. Like, I’m clocking out on this, it’s just interesting to me that KC apologized for his behavior and showed and expressed that he was embarrassed watching the things he did and said and people online were acting like he did nothing wrong, even when he admitted he did.
People insist on coddling KC instead of letting him take accountability for the things he did and said, which mind you, he felt the need to do after watching himself back, and it showed me we have a real issue with coddling men, and not just with his behavior but also with how he handled the rejection the first day. Anyone would be hurt, but letting it fester into resentment and carrying it with you WEEKS and experiences later is a different situation. Jen and Trinity were right. It wasn’t even about Aniya, KC felt a way because the other women in the villa were not checking for him like that and I’m sure that’s why he acted how he did in casa when he had multiple options.
Post-show, people were worried about KC and telling him to skip the reunion because they felt like Andy and Ariana would be tough on him or something, which is also known as coddling him. The reunion would be great practice for him since he wants to be an actor and be in the entertainment industry. It’s a skill to be careful with the things that you say, to take real accountability and apologize for what you did wrong, and turn all that around when you’re put on the spot, so the people telling him to skip it are doing him a disservice.
People insist the studio is against him and that he got a villain edit, but I will keep saying 1) having a quote unquote “villain” is a standard. Every show, every story (including realty tv) has a villain or an antagonist.
And 2) The clear, top-spot, number 1 villain of the season, whether planned from the beginning or not, was Sincere and everyone’s silence at movie night initially after seeing Sincere’s actions should’ve made that clear. He was a menace the entire show. KC’s actions just happened to lead him into an unfavorable edit, but people liked him in the beginning. He was a favorite.
People will fairly ask, “what about KC’s feelings.” As I said earlier, his feelings are valid. I’m never going to be someone who invalidates anyone’s feelings and a part of me does understand how he was feeling to an extent, but I don’t think he handled any of it well and I don’t think that the things he did or said were suddenly okay just because of how he was feeling, especially when we talk about the grandma comment and him talking about what he feels he should’ve gotten. I don’t like how he’s talked about Aniya or the women on the show and nothing will make that okay to me.
I won’t go as far to say that he’s redpilled, as other people have, but there’s a reason why people are saying that, and it’s not even just towards KC.
I feel like people overcorrect the dismissal of men’s feelings in a way that leads them right back into perpetuating ideals of the patriarchy including rape culture. Sure KC may not have felt wanted or appreciated, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to speak about women the way he did. Sure, not being picked on night one was hurtful, but making it his origin story behind why he acted the way he did is not justifiable. Sure, he wishes Aniya would’ve been more physical, but it doesn’t mean that calling her a grandma was okay or that he was justified in his feelings of entitlement about what he felt like he should’ve gotten from her or any of the other women, as he said in the confessional.
Speaking more generally, holding onto the hurt that rejection causes is an issue, and we’re even seeing that right now with some of the conversations surrounding the new Spiderman movie, which I won’t spoil here, but it comes down to how people think they’re justified in being mean, rude, disrespectful or whatever you want to call it just because they were rejected. Like why is your kindness and your kindness towards women contingent on what that woman is willing to do for you?
That line of thinking actually escalates to real life harm against women and not even just harm against women (but literally everyone else too).
So, just to be extra clear, what strikes me the most about KC and what happened on the show is less the things he did and more so the people jumping through the hoops to defend and downplay his behavior because they don’t even realize the harmful rhetoric they perpetuate in their defense of him.
And instead of just saying, I (still) like KC, there’s people tearing down Aniya, using whataboutism to take the heat off of him, or just flat out denying he did anything wrong even though he admitted himself that he did…I will forever say that KC's fanbase did more harm to KC's reputation than KC himself did.
Whataboutism
For a quick second though, I actually wanna talk about all the whataboutism going on this season because it’s led people to either 1) bringing up irrelevant things that have happened, 2) making false equivalences, and 3) acting like certain people are martyrs and victims when they are not.
The big thing I’ve seen is what about Sincere? What about Zach? And it just aids in the revisionist history of everything because people forget KC actually was a fan favorite in the beginning.
On my algorithm, people flip flopped with Sincere. Like one minute everyone was not liking him and the next people thought maybe he wasn’t that bad. But my point is that he was talked about extensively whether it was his metaphors or being called out for being a liar or his treatment of Melanie. He was called out damn near every day early on. And maybe it’s just my algorithm because everyone’s algorithm is different, but someone missing the conversation didn’t mean it wasn’t going on.
Same thing with Zach. Halfway in no one on my algorithm was a fan of Zach and I think people were actually overly critical of him in a way, because while he was undeniably messy and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was racist or ignorant about race relation, I don’t think what he did on the show was that out of the norm for a reality tv star. He made terrible jokes that I didn’t find funny and I’m not a fan of his, but if Kayda doesn’t have any problem with it, why am I getting upset on her behalf?
It’s not like he lied to her about anything or spoke poorly about her.
It’s possible to have all of these conversations about any islander on the show without bringing up what someone else did or didn’t do and without mentioning what you think isn’t being talked about enough…like if it’s a pressing issue to you, you can just talk about it on your own page without being like, “WhY iSn’T aNyOnE tAlKiNg AbOuT tHiS.”
I can’t tell you how many times I made a post about an islander and someone in the comments brought up either a completely different situation or a completely different islander in defense of whoever they felt like I was criticizing or even in an attempt to tear down the person I was talking about and it’s one of my pet peeves.
Trying to continue a conversation is one thing, but bringing up a conversation you want to have that isn’t directly connected to anything I said is annoying to me and that happened a lot this season.
Double Standards
One thing I do want to say about Zach though is that he (and the other men in the villa) kept insisting that there was a double standard, especially during movie night. Online, this idea of there being double standards has come up a lot too and I want to talk about it because in some ways I think it’s being misapplied and other times I think it’s used as a blanket analysis that doesn’t do anyone any good in reality just because it is too simplistic of response.
People compare KC and Corbin’s conversations to the women’s conversations in casa, talking about how the men in the villa are more immature and they’re boys, compared to men in casa. I think there are similarities, but I don’t think it’s fair to say they were equally disrespectful and equally malicious and I think there's a history behind why conversationally, women remind themselves and other women why they're the prize and we can get into it in a blog post one day if you want to.
During movie night, the casa girls and the villa men were arguing that if Aniya’s scenes were shown before KC’s, KC would’ve gotten less heat because Aniya did the same thing. They argued that there were double standards at play and that the women did the same exact thing as the men, which was exploring during casa, but the problem was never about exploring, it was the way the men went about it. We only know what made the edit, I can only go based off of what we saw, and to me, I didn’t think any of the women had real issues with the men exploring. All of them were seeking clarity because all of the ones I’m thinking of at least were receiving mixed signals and reassurance that wasn’t actually shown in the men’s actions.
The double standards Zach keeps talking about isn’t accurate because at the time at least, he didn’t understand what the women were really upset about, which was the way the men were going about things.
People also argue there’s a double standard between Kenzie and Sincere. People think the women were too strict with Kenzie, while being too lax with Sincere. They see it as Kenzie being slut shamed while Sincere was let off the hook, and a part of me can see this, but the other part of me doesn’t think Sincere was really let off the hook. I think they were both confronted and that Sincere’s charms make it so that it’s hard for people to stay mad at him, while Kenzie didn’t really seem to understand where the other women were coming from. I also think that people have downplayed what Kenzie has done to make their point, when Kenzie was in fact a menace and a hypocrite throughout the season. She expected the men to be obsessed with her and not interested in anyone else, while exploring. She was pressed with Melanie for the Corbin situation, then kissed Corbin behind her back. And she kissed everyone that she could.
Yeah, she didn’t straight up lie like Sincere did, and Dylan’s reaction was a little much, considering how long they’d known each other, but by Kenzie and Caleb’s own omission, Kenzie did lead Caleb on (and in my opinion, other people on).
People also talk about Aniya yelling in KC’s face and say that would be considered abusive or a red flag if she was a man, and for me, that’s when the conversation becomes unserious because statistically there is a reason why a man doing that is considered to be potentially dangerous. There’s a reason why people, not even just women, would choose the bear over the man. So it’s one thing to say you don’t like that she did that or you don’t think she should’ve done that. She maturely apologized and recognized that wasn’t who she wanted to be and she wished she handled it differently. But to act like KC was actually in real danger or that he had reason to believe he was in real danger is disingenuous.
I feel like in general, we shouldn’t act like men’s and women’s situations are created equally. We do not live in a utopia and the individual and societal consequences for certain things are not the same. The way men talk about women when they think no one is listening actually bleeds into how they talk TO and treat women. It influences how they view women in general and because we live in a patriarchal and misogynistic society, there are real life consequences to men’s treatment of women (to their face or behind their back) past hurt feelings. The way women talk about men is not comparable in that way in general.
The Policing of Women’s Emotional Reactions
Something else that really pissed me off this season is the way people on the show and off the show police people having emotional reactions.
Not wanting to make someone cry is not a valid excuse for anything. To me, it gives “I don’t want to deal with an emotional person” (in this case an emotional woman), and I don’t like that we’re stigmatizing crying again. It’s actually ironic when we’re supposed to be in a time where people care about other’s mental health, but whatever.
I’ve stood by this fact all season, but Sincere was a menace since early days. Like when Kayda came in, it was clear the shit Sincere was going to be on all season, but people were so focused on policing and criticizing Melanie that they missed what Melanie was upset about in the first place.
It’s also easy to be tricked by production editing, because I suspect Melanie’s “give me 10” line was looped.
And even if it wasn’t, Melanie walking away during the argument with Bea and asking for ten is literally her trying to take a step back to regulate her emotions, so people genuinely acting like she was unstable just because she was having a moment is so confusing to me. That’s what emotional regulation looks like in practice.
People saw a woman with an imperfect outburst and automatically assumed the worst about her while wanting people to extend grace for certain men on the show who had a more disrespectful reaction and I just can’t get behind it.
Even with Aniya crying at one point, people called her manipulative and I’m like, so people can’t cry when they’re upset anymore? People aren’t allowed to cry in a stressful environment?
I hate the way people make it seem like women are manipulative for expressing emotions and I hate that women, especially Black women, are expected to take everything on the chin.
Why are women, especially Black women, not allowed to break down on tv without being called manipulative? Why are women, especially Black women, not allowed to argue and fight with people without being labelled aggressive?
I hate how easily this show brings out people’s internalized misogyny and implicit biases because I feel like for years now it happens every season.
I also hate how the men in the villa and the audience constantly made it seem like the worst thing that could and did happen was women being upset. The vibe was really giving “I don’t want to deal with women’s emotions” and “women are so sensitive” and I just find it all to be pretty dismissive.
People are allowed to feel how they feel and people will react how they react. In this environment, the worst that would happen is that you hurt someone’s feelings and they’re upset with you and don’t want to talk to you. And I can get how that feels like the worst thing ever in that environment, but I think lying about your true feelings does everyone even more harm in the long run than upsetting someone in the moment.
Being Blunt
I also want to talk about how people think to be honest you have to be blunt because this came up a lot this season in different situations.
I might’ve talked about this already in an earlier episode but it really is my pet peeve that people reward bluntness and not sensitivity. I actually would argue that being sensitive is more a sign of emotional maturity because you allow yourself to tap into your feelings and the feelings of others instead of being closed off to them.
I also feel like when people reward bluntness, it’s when that bluntness is delivered in a way that is hurtful and people use their bluntness to dismiss how it makes other people feel.
You can be honest without being rude. People think Bea was being mature and communicating healthily in the argument with Melanie just because she was holding her accountable and because she was being blunt instead of beating around the bush, but I believe they both escalated the conversation and I don’t even think it was a conversation had in good faith because it wasn’t a one on one conversation.
Whether or not you think or other people think you’re justified or in the right, you can’t shove your opinion or feelings down someone’s throat in the way Bea did and people are allowed to not receive what you said just because of how you said, whether that be your word choice or your tone.
You can communicate effectively while still being mindful of the other person in the conversation and while still being direct and honoring your own feelings and emotions. It doesn’t have to be an either-or situation.
Applying Sociological Theories
This season, like last season, reminded me that people who hold certain beliefs hold them in theory and aren’t able to apply their beliefs to real life situations.
I don’t know what it is about Love Island that brings out conservatism and misogyny but as much as I enjoy the conversations around the show, which is why I engage with it, it is also scary to see what other people’s opinions are.
I hate to be this person, but I truly think being in a literacy crisis is really apart of the reason that people can’t connect the dots as to why the reactions of people watching a reality tv show matter. People don’t realize how they contradict the sociological theories they believe in with the things they say during their casual discussion of a reality tv show.
The number of conversations about Bryce’s and Zach’s sexuality is so wild to me and it made me realize how we got to where we are today in the U.S. Because I thought it was rule number 1 or at least an unspoken rule to keep your thoughts about people’s sexualities in your head, in journals, and in group chats, not online where anyone and everyone can see them.
People’s sexualities don’t matter if you’re not dating or fucking them, so I’m like oh! I guess we aren’t as progressive as we thought we were! I guess we still want to treat sexuality like it’s a big deal!
The cherry on top for me was the erasure of bisexuality too, with people assuming Bryce and Zach are gay or that Bea is a lesbian, and bi-erasure is one of my litmus tests. Like if you think someone is interested in the same sex and jump from straight to gay, my eye twitches and I don't care if that’s not practical. I hate bi-erasure and I know that gay is an umbrella term to a lot of people, but I can say with full confidence a lot of people were not using it that way.
I don’t know how you can claim to be an ally or care about gay rights and then discuss people’s sexualities publicly on social media for the world and even for them to see. Because then you’re creating an environment where people either feel like they have to come out when they weren’t planning to or when no one in their life knows their preferences. Or you’re in general making a big deal out of something that genuinely doesn’t matter. Or you’re making people feel misunderstood because they don’t check the box of what a “straight” person would do. Or you’re perpetuating ideals of traditional gender presentation and toxic masculinity.
People don’t have to announce their sexuality and people don’t have to explain why they’re comfortable with certain things just because it makes you uncomfortable. If everyone involved is able to and can consent and if it’s harmless, it’s really none of your concern.
People online say that they care about mental health, but then straight up bully and harass strangers online based on edits. They say they care about mental health but can’t recognize when someone is trying to emotionally regulate. They say they care about mental health but then call people manipulative for crying.They say they care about gay rights and then make fun of people because they think they’re gay.
Literacy Crisis
Another thing that really just…bothered me this season was people making fun of Jen and Sincere mispronouncing words. Like yeah, it’s hehe haha funny, but if someone is using the word in the correct context, as Jen did with “compromise” and Sincere did with “epitome,” then it means they know the word and just don’t know how to pronounce it and mispronouncing words does not mean we are in a literacy crisis and it doesn’t even mean that people can’t think critically .
I’ve said this already, but people not understanding the words they were using just because they mispronounced them is more indicative of a literacy crisis than anyone mispronouncing words.
How can we say we want people to read more and to challenge themselves (both of which strengthens vocabulary and can assist with comprehension skills) and then we make fun of people who mispronounce words?
What really showed a lack of critical thinking skills this season was the audience and a certain fanbase trying to act like Bryce flat out lied about what another islander said just because he paraphrased and made an inference.
And I’m not going to get into it, because I did on threads and it turned into a mess, but I just feel like not agreeing with what Bryce said or not thinking that’s what KC intended is one thing, but acting like Bryce completely pulled it all out of his ass and completely lied is another thing.
The Experiment
One thing that makes this show so interesting to me is that each year the social norms established inside of the villa change a little bit depending on who is inside of the villa. And every year, the audience, myself included, weighs in on what we think is right or wrong or could’ve been handled differently. We have our own unspoken set of rules and expectations for the season and the behavior in the villa and it’s interesting to see what the general public reaction is to certain things and people and to see how that changes from season to season. Like we really are part of the experiment.
In the villa this year, it felt like people were kissing outside of challenges all the time. People were kissing after and during conversations and people were kissing every morning for breakfast. Kenzie literally said she felt like a kiss was a handshake in there. And they’re adults who can do and express themselves as they want. Don’t take this as me slut shaming them because I’m not.
As a viewer though, we all have our own ideas of what we consider couples moving too fast, couples moving too slow, and what the rules of the couples should be. The show is inherently sexual and raunchy because the challenges are and I do think we should probably talk about how this show leans into certain kinks on purpose, but today is not the day.
So for me, because they’re doing the most every challenge, I think it’s nice when we see people building real connections outside of sex and physical qualities. And I, key word I, find it more romantic when the people in the villa withhold their kisses outside of challenges for people they’re genuinely interested in.
This year, some of the islanders kept saying they were exploring to excuse why they were kissing, making out, and cuddling with people that weren’t their couples (people they claimed they were genuinely interested in) and it just made things unnecessarily messy. I’m sure producers loved that and it created drama for us but it created so much miscommunication inside the villa that got exhausting to watch after a while. There were people who didn’t feel like they didn’t do anything wrong because they were there to explore, but to me, you can explore without exploring other people’s bodies and I find it disrespectful to claim that you like someone and you could see them outside of the villa and then kiss someone else an hour or two later outside of challenges, just because you have free will. That’s me, that doesn’t have to be you.
Exploring in general was a big deal this season with a lot of islanders not really branching out. Part of that I think is that there truly weren’t many options, but I also think people would have been less tied down in their mind if the villa this season didn’t associate exploring with kissing and cuddling and everything outside of challenges. It did feel like more people were generally more possessive this season, maybe it’s a recency bias, but I think that could’ve been avoided if people kept it cute and were more intentional with their kisses. They’re young and the environment is what it is, so I don’t fault them for it, but it will be interesting to see what the norms are around exploring next season and how the audience meshes with it.
Because some people felt like Kenzie was playing the game how she was supposed to while the islanders felt like she wasn’t. And based on the norms established in the villa, Kenzie wasn’t because she was exploring too much in their eyes. I personally feel like Kenzie was doing a bit much, but she also wasn’t wrong for not locking it down and being flexible because that’s equally as important to me. It was the same with Gabe. Gabe had to adjust with his circumstance and he got to know Jen, but he did do a little much with Jen considering he had just cried over Bea, but I digress.
Everyone has different opinions about what the show is about and what they want to see and how the people act. Some people watch for the relationships and the relationship drama, some watch for the sociological experiment or the game of it all, and some people watch for the friendships and the people who they’ve come to enjoy and I think all of it is valid.
I don’t have time to list all of the conversations that happened this season, but the show can really be used as a case study of human behavior from every angle, whether it be the islanders or the audience.
Audience Call In
While we are a part of the experiment, I do think people get extreme in their reactions and conversations surrounding the show and the islanders of the show.
And look, I’m not perfect. Sometimes, my comments may toe the line of being too much, but I do think my comments usually stay in line with people’s actions and reactions on the show. I don’t usually and I try not to cross the boundary of getting personal or acting like I know people who I clearly don’t know, and I think more people need to remember that above anything else, that this is a tv show and there are real people on the screen. They’re not sims who have to listen to your whims. They have feelings and they can see the things you’re saying.
They also have a different experience than us with the show because they were on it. They don’t know everything that happened and everything that was said, but neither do we. We also don’t know what the islanders know or don’t know because we don’t see every conversation they have on the show. We also see things edited to fit certain storylines and narratives, so we may never get a full picture of everything that happened in the villa.
Expecting islanders to be on your side of your fan wars or to share the same opinions as you is pointless. Wanting them to publicly address things that may have even been addressed privately is pointless. I’ve seen so many people expect Trinity to hate on Zach because of things that Zach has said, as if Zach isn’t her boyfriend’s best friend in the villa and her best friend in the villa’s boyfriend.
People expected Melanie to cut it off with Sincere after watching it back or leaving the villa just because they don’t like him when her own family didn’t even change her mind about him.
Like, I fear people have grossly overestimated their roles in these islanders’ lives and it is scary just how parasocial people get. And it’s weird, because people genuinely forget these islanders are human because of their obsession and they expect perfection from them.
Carl has been called out multiple times for either not acting how certain members of the audience want him to act and saying something that I said in a previous episode, which is that Corbin and KC were engaging in locker room talk. And I get how there’s a negative connotation with “locker room talk” and how that rubs people the wrong way, but I also think people expect every person they watch on tv who they like to be perfect and to say and do things exactly as they imagine them in their head.
People are so stuck in theoreticals, like I said earlier, and so stuck in their echo chambers and they’re obsessed with virtue signaling. In reality, people don’t always say or do the perfect thing. People are not perfect and I think this is part of why people have been so quiet post villa, because if someone says something people don’t like, they get a ridiculous amount of hate. And I’m not talking about people just disagreeing with them or critiquing them, I mean people flood their comments and dms and look up their family members.
I’ve talked about my frustrations with fandoms before during a previous episode, because it’s truly so exhausting to witness people overanalyze every little thing and make the smallest things the biggest topics of conversations (and again, not just on their own personal page). Because genuinely, why are people upset that Carl left a compliment on KC’s post? It’s really not that big of a deal, and even if it happened to be to Aniya, none of us are Aniya! None of us should care at all actually.
Audiences are also hypocrites, because they accuse everyone on tv of bullying except themselves as if they aren’t harassing people or talking shit (not just criticizing but legit shit talking and wishing harm) on the contestants.
And actually, I don’t think some people know what bullying is fr, because everyone on the show is bullying their faves, but they don’t find their own behavior to be considered bullying? They don’t factor in the circumstances as a whole on the show or even question how the situation came to be in the first place.
Which leads me to my BIGGEST pet peeve of this show. I think it happens on every reality tv show to an extent, but Love Island always has the most extreme cases of armchair therapy, the diagnosing of strangers, and misapplying therapy speak and sociological theories than any show I’ve ever seen.
Not everyone is a people pleaser. I actually don’t think anyone this season is a people pleaser. It’s hard for me to believe a people pleaser would go on a show like this and leave their current situation behind for weeks to months at a time.
Some people just have trouble speaking up. Some people are cowards and don’t want to take risks. Some people are flat out selfish and don’t want to make decisions. Not everything you see that hurts others is considered abuse. Sometimes it’s mean. Sometimes you may think it’s uncalled for. Sometimes it is disrespectful or careless or selfish. It doesn’t make the behavior abusive.
Which circles us back to the idea that the islanders have to be perfect all the time. The islanders will have human reactions which include being mean, it can include being disrespectful, and it can include being selfish. What happens after the harm is caused matters too in some situations and in pretty much all the situations that happened on the show.
There was an entire conversation about Kayda coercing Zach into being physical and it was treated with such black and white thinking that it again makes me wonder just how much progress we’ve made as a society because being stuck in the black and white when the grey exists shows a lack of nuance and is just evidence people don’t critically engage with what they’re watching, because as I say all the time, we’re watching edits of people’s moments. We don’t know them and in some cases we don’t know the entire situation. And also, we're witnessing two people having a conversation and talking things through and I don't know if you know this, but people are allowed to change their mind about things in the moment. Some audience members have jumped into extremes and then put the conversation down as if the things that happened before and after that moment aren't evidence of people's comfort levels about certain things.
We cannot diagnose these people and I think it’s really dangerous and does more harm in the long run to do so. I think it does more harm in the long run to call certain things abuse because while abuse is very real, not everything is abuse and it just makes it harder to identify when abuse is occurring in people’s real lives. The same goes with diagnosis.
You can’t use one season of an edited show to ethically determine if someone is abusive or a people pleaser or a narcissist or even manipulative in my opinion, even if you end up being right later. On shows like these (designed to bring out heightened emotions and outbursts) a bad moment is a bad moment. When it’s a pattern, that’s when it’s an issue, but you can’t determine that off one season of a show that’s highly edited.
It’s one thing to let people’s actions lead to bigger conversations and use it as a jumping off point, but anything past that I think is going too far.
So I really hope next season and as their individual fandoms grow, we can relax, release control over these people, and stop being in attack and defensive mode.
Favorite Parts of the Season
So, before officially saying goodbye to this season, I want to thank the Core 4 for keeping me interested enough to actually finish, because I didn’t finish last season. I want to thank Core 4 for showing us real friendships where women try to talk sense into each other but are there for each other even when the others don’t listen. Women who are there for each other when one cries and who make each other laugh. And women who rarely, if ever, tore other women down, at least from what we saw.
Aniya, Trinity, Melanie, and Kayda gave us a real sisterhood this season and I’m excited to see where they all go from here.
To end this [episode] let me tell you my top ten moments of the season.
Special mention: Kenzie angrily hitting the splits because that was hilarious.
Number 10: The karaoke challenge. It was a really fun challenge and I’d love to see more challenges like that.
Number 9: All of Sincere’s metaphors because say what you want, he was pulling them out real quick and they all made sense in the context. The ice cream and the fish one still live rent free in my head.
Number 8: When the women laughed about Gabe and Sincere kissing the bombshells because it was not a funny situation but they all managed to laugh about it and it was just a cute gossiping session.
Number 7: When Trinity said it was daylight saving time, because girl…what??
Number 6: When Melanie consoled Aniya when she was sobbing because Aniya needed to hear it and I’m sorry, sometimes you need someone yelling sense into you.
Number 5: Titi and Trinity going at it. I’m sorry if that makes me toxic. That was a peak reality tv argument, argue with someone else about it.
Number 4: Carniya’s finale date. It was so magical.
Number 3: When Trinity said, “Still I rise, I guess,” because it’s genuinely funny. Please be honest about it. And that’s also tied with Trinity nodding in Bryce’s face when he talked about wanting to explore Kayda. And then he asked how she felt about it and Trinity goes, “I’m not fucking with it.” It was iconic, like the delivery. The face. Like, yeah she ate that.
Number 2: When Melanie went back and forth kissing Sincere and Corbin. It was a challenge and I think this season could’ve been even better if people actually let go during the challenges. No one will ever make me hate this moment or Melanie.
And Number 1: When Bryce was talking about Trinity during casa and expressed how it takes courage to stand on what you want because at that moment, I really believed in them and I knew they were going to win. It’s honestly underrated to me and it was so heartwarming that he recognized it being a huge risk and he decided to take it anyway. I thought it was really a special moment.
So yeah. I really did love this season and this cast no matter how opinionated I am and I truly wish them all well. Thank you to everyone involved, including all of the islanders, because you really made this season what it was, whether I’m a fan or not, I can admit that.
Let’s see how the reunion goes.
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Okay. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for being here. Bye bye.