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Nourishing Her Midlife Rest: Body & Soul is a podcast for Christian women in their 40s and 50s navigating perimenopause, hormone shifts, exhaustion, burnout, and the changing rhythms of midlife.
Hosted by Bethany Thomson, Registered Dietitian, functional nutritionist, and Christian life coach, this podcast blends functional nutrition, hormone health, whole-person wellness, and grace-filled encouragement to support women in body and soul.
Some episodes are practical and educational—covering topics like perimenopause, hormones, fatigue, inflammation, nervous system support, digestion, stress, and nourishment in midlife.
Others are more reflective and restorative, offering gentle conversations about rest, emotional healing, caregiving, faith, identity, and learning to live with greater steadiness and compassion in seasons of overwhelm.
Whether you feel exhausted, disconnected from yourself, stuck in survival mode, or simply weary from carrying too much for too long, there is space for you here.
Together, we’ll explore a gentler path toward nourishment, steadiness, and rest—body and soul.
Learn more at:
www.ingrainedliving.com
025 | Why So Many Women Put Themselves Last: The Hidden Guilt Behind Self-Care
INTRODUCTION
Last time, we talked about hidden depletion.
About overloaded lives and depleted reserves.
And about the reality that many women are carrying far more than they realize.
But here’s the question I can’t stop thinking about:
If many women already know what would help…
why is it still so hard to respond?
Why is it so difficult to follow through on what we already know?
And honestly…
I think the answer runs much deeper than discipline.
WELCOME TO NOURISHING HER MIDLIFE REST
Welcome to Nourishing Her Midlife Rest: Body & Soul.
I’m Bethany Thomson, a Registered Dietitian offering restorative, whole-person functional nutrition care for overwhelmed women in midlife.
This is a space for weary women navigating perimenopause and the sacred middle seasons of life—where flourishing isn’t about trying harder, but about learning to receive grace, wisdom, nourishment, and rest… body and soul.
And if you’ve ever known exactly what you needed…
but struggled to give yourself permission to respond…
this episode is for you.
WHEN KNOWING ISN’T THE PROBLEM
One of the things I’ve noticed over and over again is that many women already know what would help.
They tell me:
“I know I need more sleep.”
“I know I need boundaries.”
“I know I need to slow down.”
“I know I need to get outside more.”
“I know I need to take better care of myself.”
And what fascinates me is that knowledge is often not the problem.
These women are thoughtful.
Insightful.
Self-aware.
Many have read the books.
Listened to the podcasts.
Done the research.
Some wear health trackers.
Some know their lab work inside and out.
Some can tell you exactly how stress affects their body.
And yet…
knowing and responding are not always the same thing.
Because when we talk a little longer, another layer often emerges.
The needs around them are real.
The aging parent is real.
The struggling adult child is real.
The ministry opportunity is real.
The friend who is hurting is real.
The business is real.
The marriage is real.
The responsibilities are real.
And often these women aren’t choosing between something bad and something good.
They’re choosing between one good thing and another good thing.
And that’s much harder.
THE HIDDEN GUILT THAT KEEPS WOMEN STUCK
And honestly…
I think this is where many women get stuck.
Because the issue isn’t that they don’t know what they need.
The issue is that responding to those needs often feels selfish.
Not because they’re selfish women.
Quite the opposite.
Many of the women I serve are incredibly generous.
Thoughtful.
Responsible.
Dependable.
They care deeply about people.
They see needs.
And once they see a need, it’s very difficult to unsee it.
So when an aging parent needs help…
when an adult child is struggling…
when a church needs volunteers…
when a friend is hurting…
many women feel a tremendous pull to respond.
Because the need is real.
And I think that’s important to acknowledge.
And sometimes women describe this in ways that are incredibly revealing.
It’s not always that caring for themselves feels selfish.
Sometimes it feels like they’re taking something away from someone else.
Almost like they’re stealing time.
Stealing attention.
Stealing energy that rightfully belongs to another person.
As if every minute spent caring for themselves is somehow a minute taken from someone who needs them more.
And if that’s how caring for yourself feels…
of course it’s hard to respond to what you need.
Because it doesn’t feel like you’re choosing between two good things.
It feels like you’re taking something from someone else in order to give it to yourself.
But here’s what I’ve come to believe:
The challenge isn’t that the need isn’t real.
The challenge is that your capacity is real too.
And somewhere along the way, many women learned to treat those two realities very differently.
The needs around them feel important.
Urgent.
Valid.
Worth responding to.
But their own needs?
Those get pushed down the list.
Moved to later.
Delayed until a more convenient season.
And if I’m honest…
I see this in myself too.
I’m not standing outside this conversation observing it.
I’m inside it.
I understand the pull.
I understand the desire to help.
I understand the temptation to keep showing up, keep carrying, keep pushing through.
Because these are not bad things.
They’re often beautiful things.
Things rooted in love.
Things rooted in responsibility.
Things rooted in care.
Which is exactly why this conversation can feel so complicated.
WHY MANY WOMEN KEEP WAITING FOR PERMISSION
And I think there’s another layer here.
Many women are waiting for a future season.
A season when life finally settles down.
A season when things finally calm down.
A season when there is finally enough time.
And what breaks my heart a little is how many women tell me:
“I thought it would be different by now.”
But life keeps changing shape.
The shape of the load changes.
But the carrying continues.
And eventually many women realize something they never expected:
Life may never fully calm down.
There may never be a moment when everything is finished.
There may never be a day when all the responsibilities disappear.
And if we’re waiting for that day before we begin caring for ourselves…
we may be waiting forever.
Because I think many of us are waiting for something outside ourselves to tell us we’re done.
We’re waiting for the house to be clean.
The inbox to be empty.
The project to be finished.
The crisis to be over.
We’re waiting for someone to say:
“You’ve done enough.”
“You can rest now.”
“You can stop.”
But life never gives us that permission slip.
The work of loving people is never really finished.
And if we’re waiting for life to tell us we’re done…
we may never respond to what our bodies have been trying to tell us.
FROM SELF-CARE TO STEWARDSHIP: A DIFFERENT FRAMEWORK
And honestly…
I think this is where we need a different framework.
Because if we’re not careful, even the conversation about caring for ourselves can start to feel like another item on the list.
Another thing we’re supposed to do well.
Another responsibility to manage.
And I don’t think that’s what we’re really talking about here.
We’re not talking about adding another task.
We’re talking about learning to respond wisely to what is already true.
Because stewardship asks a different question.
Not:
“How do I do more?”
But:
“What has God entrusted to me in this season?”
And one of the things He has entrusted to you is you.
The woman caring for everyone else is part of what God has entrusted to you too.
Stewardship isn’t selfishness.
Selfishness says:
“I matter more than everyone else.”
Stewardship says:
“I matter too.”
Not more than everyone else.
Not instead of everyone else.
But too.
And stewardship isn’t about withdrawing from the people we love.
It’s about learning to care for ourselves honestly within the life we’ve been given.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE CONTINUE TO IGNORE OUR OWN NEEDS
Because here’s what I’ve begun to notice.
Many women don’t struggle because they don’t recognize the signals.
They recognize them.
They know they’re tired.
They know they’re overwhelmed.
They know they’re carrying too much.
They know they’re running on fumes.
The challenge is what happens next.
Because often they believe something else is more important.
Someone else’s need.
Someone else’s crisis.
Someone else’s expectation.
And over time, they become very skilled at overriding what their body is trying to tell them.
Until eventually the signals get louder.
Not because the body is betraying them.
But because the body has been telling the truth for a very long time.
WHAT ELIJAH’S STORY TEACHES US ABOUT EXHAUSTION AND GOD’S CARE
And this is where I find myself thinking about Elijah.
After one of the most dramatic moments of his ministry, Elijah found himself exhausted, overwhelmed, afraid, and discouraged.
And what strikes me is how God responded.
The Lord didn’t begin with correction.
He didn’t begin with a lecture.
He didn’t tell Elijah to push harder.
Instead, He tended to him.
Rest.
Food.
Water.
More rest.
And only then did the conversation continue.
There is something incredibly tender about that.
Because I think many women assume God responds to their exhaustion the same way they respond to their exhaustion.
With pressure.
With frustration.
With expectations.
But that’s not what we see here.
We see a God who recognizes that the journey is too much for Elijah in his current condition.
And instead of shaming him for being human, He provides what he needs.
I wonder how many of us need to hear that.
Not because we don’t know the story.
But because we struggle to receive the care being offered.
And while most of us aren’t going to have an angel appear with bread and water under a broom tree…
I wonder if sometimes God’s care comes in quieter ways.
Through the fatigue we’ve been overriding.
Through the body signals we’ve been dismissing.
Through the growing awareness that something needs to change.
Through the wisdom that says:
“This pace is no longer sustainable.”
Through the invitation to respond to the needs we’ve been postponing.
I think one of the things I love most about Elijah’s story is that God didn’t shame his need.
He tended to it.
And perhaps part of stewardship is learning to do the same.
Not because we’re weak.
Not because we’re selfish.
But because we’re human.
What if God is not disappointed by your need?
What if He is already moving toward it with compassion?
Perhaps this is where the invitation of the Good Shepherd feels different.
Not:
“Come to me once you’ve finished everything.”
But:
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened.”
Not after the work is done.
Not after you’ve earned rest.
While you’re carrying.
While you’re weary.
While life remains unfinished.
Because maybe stewardship isn’t waiting until everything is done before caring for yourself.
Maybe stewardship is learning to receive care while life is still unfinished.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR THE WOMAN WHO ALWAYS COMES LAST
As we close today, I’d love for you to sit with just a few questions.
Where do I already know what I need, but struggle to give myself permission to respond?
What feels selfish about responding to that need right now?
What might change if I viewed that need through the lens of stewardship instead?
FINDING SUPPORT IN THIS SEASON OF MIDLIFE
If this conversation resonates deeply with you…
if you’re realizing that you’ve been carrying more than you recognized…
or if you’re beginning to wonder what your body may have been trying to communicate for a very long time…
you don’t have to sort through that alone.
This is the kind of work I walk through with women every day.
Together we begin gently listening beneath the surface—to the exhaustion, the symptoms, the stress load, the nourishment patterns, and the realities of this season of life.
Not with more pressure.
Not with another overwhelming protocol.
But with thoughtful support, practical nutrition guidance, and compassionate whole-person care.
If you’re ready for that next step, I invite you to begin with a Welcome Hour.
It’s a dedicated space to slow down, share your story, and gain clarity about what caring for yourself might look like in this season.
You can learn more at ingrainedliving.com/welcome-hour.
And if this episode encouraged you today, would you consider following the podcast or sharing it with a friend?
Because my guess is you’re not the only woman in your circle carrying more than she realizes.
And sometimes a gentle conversation is exactly where restoration begins.
COMING NEXT WEEK: THE INVISIBLE LOAD WOMEN CARRY
And next time…
I want to explore something that sits underneath so much of what we’ve talked about today.
The invisible load.
The things we’ve carried for so long that we no longer recognize them as weight.
Because sometimes we don’t fully understand our capacity until we understand what we’ve been carrying.
FINAL BLESSING
Until next time, dear one…
The needs around you may be real.
The responsibilities may be real.
The people you love may genuinely need you.
But your need for care is real too.
May you remember that caring for yourself is not abandoning the people you love.
It is part of stewarding the life and body God has entrusted to you.
May you find freedom from the belief that everything must be finished before you can rest.
And may you learn, little by little, to receive care while life remains beautifully unfinished.
Grace and peace,
Bethany