With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
The Podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I saw this when I come.
And be one of us.
Hello, and welcome to the Podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 169, nothing sexual joke content going on with those numbers.
Moving past them, my name is Gav.
Who are you?
I'm Dan.
Intrepid hosts like Indiana Jones with a big ball rolling behind him.
And as he runs along, that's like me and Dan, as our mouths roll along with words with a big ball coming out of our mouths.
I thought then you were trying to say that you were Indiana Jones and I was just a big ball rolling behind you.
Oh, no, no, we're both Indiana Jones with a big ball rolling behind us together.
Everybody, we're all together in this listening right now, aren't we?
I hope everyone's all right and Happy New Year to the world.
Happy New Year to all of our listeners and supporters.
It's the year, it is the year 2025.
Mankind has nothing's changed, guys.
No, not really.
Not a lot has gone on, really.
Well, some stuff has.
There's been a few natural disasters and things and what not.
We'll talk about that in a minute.
I've got a theory about that.
So, yeah, it's episode 169.
It's our first episode of the year.
And I think as was the case last year, as we kick off our 11th year of podcasting, which is mental, it is a...
I've still got that little musical thing we did for that somewhere.
It doesn't matter.
We do it live every time.
Yeah.
Don't worry about it.
No one wants to record it and we want it live.
Not that we're live, but you know what I mean.
And it is our lovely friend Rachel's choices today.
She selected a couple of beauties for us.
She said she wanted to do things which are accessible for people.
Currently in the region of over here in Europe on Netflix, the films are on.
That's a really weird way of saying all that.
They are.
Yoda just said.
Let me just translate what Yoda said.
In the UK, both films we're reviewing this episode are currently on there on Netflix.
You did that brilliantly there.
Yes, that's very thoughtful of Rachel.
The movies are.
Netflix movies you can watch.
It's on UK, I think.
Kingdom of United.
The two films she selected are both from the O20.
Yoda, George Pornhub.
What selection do they have?
Selection they have.
Selection they have, yes.
Anal double.
Double anal.
Anal double.
Always the two there are.
Swamp ladies.
There is another skyrocket.
SPEAKER_5: Slippery slump.
So the two movies are both from 2022 that Rachel has selected.
One of them is a German film called Old People.
Old People.
SPEAKER_5: Brilliant.
Oh, thanks, Gav, as the Germans would say, Old People.
And then the other movie.
So I've not seen either of these.
And I think, Gav, you've definitely seen one of them, which is the other movie, which is the one that everyone's talking about, which is Talk to Me.
Talk to Me.
Talk to Me.
Talk to Me.
Computing.
I was first.
Yeah.
So they're both on Netflix now.
Talk to Me very recently here.
Old People is on there.
I think it's a Netflix exclusive, but it's a German movie.
Occasionally, Netflix do chuck on some European and other foreign international horror films and other movies, and they're pretty damn good, some of them.
So it's cool.
It was cool to check both of these out.
We'll get into those in a moment when we get to that part of it.
But Gav, as it is our first episode of the year, I better explain something to our listeners who are new, because you haven't said it yet, actually.
So welcome to our new listeners.
If you're new, welcome back.
If you're a returning listener, welcome front.
And if you're just popping in now and again, welcome around.
Oh, hello.
Reach around.
Yeah, we used to do a segment a while back called Time Team, where I've got my time machine, which are built painstakingly built by hand.
And Gav and I would don our suits and go back in time every episode.
Or look for our helmets.
We would.
And we'd go back in time to a year, mainly to talk about the horror movies that were out that year, but also to have a quick look at what was going on in the world.
And the news and nature and science.
But mainly to take a look at what was going on in horror.
We started that, I think we started that in probably like the 30s.
So we went back to the 1930s and we eventually caught back up with the year 2023.
However, the year 2024 is now finished.
So later on in this episode, we won't be getting Bill Murray this episode, but we will be getting us going into our time machine and going back to the year 2024.
Just last year.
Just have a look at what went on.
It's good.
Come always come back to us.
And Bill always needs a break after the Christmas.
He gets a bit on it.
You know what it's like on a New Year's party.
Yeah.
Those pictures when you're sitting on the photocopier.
It was a white Christmas for him, but it was also a white New Year.
That's all I'll say.
I'm not talking cocaine.
I'm talking semen.
It was all white.
Sorry, Bill.
So yeah, Time Team is coming up as well.
It's going to be a fun, fun packed episode.
What is he doing?
Just constantly jacking off.
Just constantly jizzing everywhere.
Just everywhere.
It's like a disease.
It's like the end.
You know, the end of the first Ghostbusters movie.
That wasn't that wasn't Marshmallow.
It's not real, is it?
The dude that couldn't stop orgasming.
And then he was at his dad's funeral.
Orgasming.
What are you talking about?
There's something.
My brain thinks something's there.
Where there's a dude that couldn't stop orgasming.
And then he had to go to his dad's funeral and his dad's going, Oh, my God, is that like some black mirror type shit?
I don't know.
Well, or my head.
If you know, guys, please send us a postcard to the usual address.
Or is it real?
Is that if that's real fucking hell?
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Well, let's get into episode 169.
It's not 69, it's 169.
It's really annoying because Elijah is 10 and he doesn't obviously know 69.
What, you know, the connotations of numbers.
But he was like, 69, dude, because of Bill and Ted.
Yeah.
Well, I always did as a younger.
And then he adapts it whenever it's 69, 69, look, 69, 69.
And it's like, oh, just no.
He hasn't recently for a little while.
Yeah, don't tell him about that for a little bit longer.
I'm not going to tell him that.
He's got to figure that shit out for himself.
Yeah, I used to do that, though, because of Bill and Ted.
I think when, you know, until I was about 30, I understood what it actually meant.
Somebody at school told me and said, oh, it's a rude joke in Bill and Ted.
My parents won't understand that.
Obviously they did.
Jesus Christ.
Of course they did.
Yeah.
Anyway, it's hilarious in the 80s where our parents probably just didn't really care.
And you'll be sitting in front of the TV and they'll just be watching it as well.
And then saying just complete naked woman full on nudity will just come on the screen and go off again.
And they won't even...
Whatever.
I was watching a quiz show with my in-laws over Christmas.
And one of the questions on there was about the Hawk Tour girl, which I'm sure everybody is familiar with.
Oh, God.
Have you not seen the GIF, the meme, the TikTok?
It's literally everywhere.
The girl that's like, Hawk Tour, you got a Hawk Tour on that thing?
No, I've never seen.
You're probably the only person in the known galaxy.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
But the girl now has her own podcast off the back of being interviewed in the street on TikTok.
And somebody said, what's one thing you got to do to keep the relationship alive?
And she goes, you got a Hawk Tour on that thing.
Yeah, I've got it.
And she's now got her own podcast.
But anyway, just because of that.
Yeah.
So one of the questions in this thing I was watching with my in-laws was, what was this girl famous for doing?
And everyone on the show was talking about it for about three minutes.
And it was so uncomfortable Saturday with my 75 year old in-laws.
Oh, my God.
I can't laugh at any of this stuff.
And I can't acknowledge that I know what they're talking about.
So I'm just going to bury myself behind this cushion like I used to when I was 10 years old.
And the sex scene in Ghost came on when I was watching it with my parents.
And I just don't pretend I'm not here.
Come to my happy place.
But there we go.
Happy New Year.
I've never heard of that though.
Any resolutions, Gav?
No, I've been gymming it quite a bit, but that's not a resolution because it's quite funny.
In January, I was going to the gym.
I joined it in December, so I was already going.
And then come January, you notice more people and you're like, oh, you're the New Year's people.
Like, I'm going to get fit.
And like, I'll see how long you keep seeing you for until you don't see any more.
But I've been going to the gym quite a bit, really enjoying that, actually.
Getting buff.
I want to pick up, like, I want to pick up big tree logs, like commando in the woods.
That's the game.
That's the game.
That's the aim and the game.
And I will be there feeding dear ice creams with you.
Oh, I'll sit on your lap and I'll put an ice cream in your nose.
SPEAKER_5: Look, Bambi wants some ice cream.
Oh, when he has that push in his face, it's fucking amazing.
I love it.
SPEAKER_5: Who doesn't?
No, no resolutions, really.
I'm just going to...
Well, I'm just pushing deadbolt.
I'm fucking...
I'm going for it with deadbolt.
It's like, let's fucking do it.
Let's fucking go.
So I think we're pushing it pretty hard.
That's...
It's not resolution, really.
It's just doing that.
But no, I don't do resolutions so much.
Have you got anything?
No, not really.
No, I don't really do it.
I used to a little bit, but then it's like...
It's nice to have a start and date.
I've done the things I want to do, really.
Trying to do something is good.
Yeah, like if you were to do something, it's good.
But the thing is, though, it's like the gym.
I was thinking about gym.
I had a gym membership when I was probably mid 20s and couldn't really be bothered to go.
I was going along and sitting in the spa and having a swim.
Do you know what I mean?
A jacuzzi.
But this time I'm really going for it.
And it's quite nice.
I think it's like everything, drugs or alcohol or cigarettes.
You got to want it.
Yeah, it's got to be the right time.
And you've got to go, yeah, I don't want that.
I want to go to the gym and spend a couple of hours.
I wouldn't have the time at the moment to do that.
I used to go to the gym every lunch break.
It's quite hard.
I've realized more I've been doing it, more I've been wanting to go, more I've been realizing, where do I, when do I do it?
Where do I, it's quite hard, actually.
Yeah, and I've been going for longer and longer and going, oh, I need to be doing it all casually and not pushing it really hard, doing it properly and having rest between reps and stuff, it says.
And yeah, so yeah, I need longer time.
But yes, that's it, really.
I hope everybody out there, listeners, I hope you're all doing well and have like a good, good tidings coming your way and everything you're going to do is positive.
If you've got any new year's resolution.
Indeed.