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Just My POV is a raw, real, and refreshing talk show where a millennial aunt and her Gen Z nephew go head-to-head on everything—love, money, culture, gender roles, and the messy parts of growing up in two different worlds.
They don’t always agree.
They don’t hold back.
But they always keep it real.
Each episode dives into the generational gap, the clash of values, and the moments that spark deep reflection—or full-blown arguments.
It’s not about who’s right.
It’s just their point of view.
hey guys you already know the drill it's just my POV and I'm P Cardi and I'm Kelvin so yeah let's dive into the topic of today [Music] i believe that by now we all know what personality is all about right um so when it comes to someone's personality do you think do you think the parents play a major role in making or breaking someone you know it's like your personality is like that distinct character you have that sums you up as a human being you know and um in the course of growing up so many kids have like their parents maybe make them not to do certain things or make them not express themselves in the way they would have loved to express themselves you understand so that makes them look funny in one way or the other or maybe not you know how does that make or maybe not but do you think that like people's parents play a role in determining what one's final personality is going to be like whether your parents affect your growth yes they do because that's why they're your parents they are supposed to bring you up teach you what to do what not to do and what not now if your parents have said to you "Oh don't go to this place." It's probably to save your life so I mean yeah obviously but then in terms of personality um they can influence you know the way that you do things but not your personality because it's your personal decision so there are people who are insecure about certain things right so we're talking about people who are actually insecure and I'm trying to talk about how parents play a major role in making some people insecure some people not as expressive do you understand what I mean parents that cause it that's so weird most of the time most of the time most of the time your parents wouldn't cause you to be insecure it's if you have like In fact why are you even talking about insecurities when you're talking about personality personality yeah people who are I'm talking about people who don't get to express themselves enough as a result of bad parenting ah that's what I'm saying exactly it has to be bad parenting because a good parent is not trying to make you small or make you hide or anything like that a good parent is just trying to show you the path to which you can achieve your goals to be honest so when you like ask the question in such an open way it's kind of confusing but if we're speaking about bad parenting that's really just bad parenting and it really affects children a lot like everyone even all of us as adults we're all going through something and it's not necessarily from bad parenting it is just from our experiences like our traumas do you really really think that your traumas are the reason for your personal character so basically that's how Yeah so it's all related to like character development over the years as you're growing right i feel like certain good and bad experiences you have molds you into being the person you are using myself as an example as an example I don't think there's anything anybody's going to tell me in my ear that can ever break me but I know that there are so many things I can tell you that's going to shatter you into pieces okay so are you trying to say because now back to what we were saying where you were saying that when parents say things to their kids and then it affects them and da da da so is there anything that your parents have said to you that have now made you now make you an introvert or an extrovert introvert no now this particular thing I'm saying is related to a particular person right so I have this friend who spoke to me over the phone and talked about how there are certain things his parents did while he was growing up and these things have made him not free enough to bring up his ideas in like round tables and all of that so okay so now so now I get it so in in a in a home where maybe like parents are more conservative and then you have a kid who has all these ideas and wants to do so many great things now when a parent of such is bringing up a child of such what would happen is the parent is unaware of the ideas that are in that child and is unaware of the possibilities or how to handle it because they themselves haven't lived that sort of life where they can now give you advice oh if this happens this is what you're going to do if this other thing happens so it's not really even in that case we wouldn't even call it bad parenting because the parent is doing the most that they can based on what they can do based on what they know and what they've learned and their own life experiences a person cannot teach you what they don't know themselves i cannot come to you and sell you an idea that I'm completely oblivious of you get so in that case you wouldn't call it bad parenting you would just say that okay maybe such influences have now made that child decide to hold on but a kid never really holds back because kids do whatever they want to do either they do it from at during their teenage years or they do it during their young adult years they argue with you they tell you things that you know is absolute crap but you're just like "Oh my goodness let me just try and manage this child." So to be honest hence the reason I don't feel that any parent has the power to be able to determine a child's character personality they can they can influence how you handle things or how you do things because of maybe like routine and religion and childhood you know but not like your character your character is yours yeah I kind of agree with you on that i feel like no matter how horrible a parent is I mean as somebody who is a human being with like a working brain like I'm not even saying it to be shady or anything like as a human being with a working brain you're going to experience all of these things it's also a phase right so you're supposed to pick the sense from it and leave the rest out of it and then you grow into who you're going to be i feel like even if your parents are the craziest set of human beings on earth of course trauma can hit both ways right but you should be able to find your ground and I don't think that also influences your personality if you're an outgoing person if you're a loud person if you're introverted if you're any of these things I feel like is you is not because you want to be that person i'm a fine balance of an introvert and an extrovert right i have my time and I don't think any life experience made me to be like this exactly so that was why you asked that question i'm like no that doesn't parents don't influence your character it doesn't yeah if you born crispy king your kids always do whatever they want your duty as a parent is just show them the right path teach them right from wrong you know give them teach them how to at least have a conscience and then the rest you just leave down for good in my own opinion but then this now takes me to the next question which was what I wanted to ask do you think that trauma or your childhood traumas are responsible for your mental state or do you just lack accountability it has nothing to do with your emotions i'm responsible for it has no my mental state i'm responsible for it so so I don't like accountability as a matter of fact everything everybody did or anybody has done to me I feel like as a human being you should be you should be in control of who you are you know I channel my mind to where it's supposed to be which is peace serenity enjoyment for real so so personally I just think that a lot of people misunderstand um what these childhood traumas are and and how it affects you now I'm not trying to say that childhood traumas are not a bad thing they are usually very chaotic it's like it's a trauma you know it's a traumatic experience so it definitely is something that has thrown you off but the way that a lot of people see it is more around oh this situation really made me now have this bad thing about me but personally I know that there's something negative that you pick out of it but there's always a lesson and that lesson is actually what helps you to continue with life going forward so when you have these childhood traumas it teaches you to be able to recognize a pattern that you know you are not going to deal with or that leads to disaster so then these traumas actually teach you and guide you it's like giving you some sort of shield armor bullets it's just putting you together to go through the journey of life rather than seeing it as something that is so negative and is so bad you can look on the bright side because everything that happens with you comes with a lesson everything and if you are unable to pick out the lesson when it happens the first time trust me it's going to happen again and again and again until you learn your lesson so the idea is to pick out a pick up the learning from the situation or the experience and then move forward so it's kind of like a guideline i know that it's you know at the time when it's happening it feels like oh death what am I going to do but it really isn't half as bad and in terms of like your mental state I also think that your past traumas give you a balance here's for instance you know growing up your parents always tell you oh be good be generous give people always be helpful but then there are some people that you go and help and you get yourself inside into kind of problem that you can never come out of or that you never recover from now these traumas are the things that now help you to know that people out there they don't really get you nice for mind you get me it's like you always have to wake up and have like these armors and I think that these are your traumas personally I figured out that these days a lot of people like to dwell in their traumas they love to give an excuse as to why that's why I said lack of something is going to be this way or that way forgetting that crazy things are going to happen to everybody like if you're going to sit there and tell me that it's because of someone was acting this way or that way or it's because someone raped you so now you are a rapist or that is very stupid because as I would always repeat this thing as a human being you should be able to control everything that is happening to you these things like she said earlier they're supposed to be like lessons for you if you go through a bad experience you're supposed to pick out certain things that you did that made you to land in that situation and you know come up with a plan so that doesn't happen again because it will happen again and again so while we were speaking on the topic about you know traumas and childhood traumas how it affects your mental state I was also going to like finally speak about healing because the thing about healing is it's such a journey that and it's a personal one that it's not identical with someone else's so my journey is different from yours and your healing you know process is different now before you even get to the healing you need to be accountable for everything that happened to you and why it happened and why it happened to you there's something about life like nothing just comes to you and just jumps and appears in your front there are a series of events and a series of things that you might have done that that caused that thing now a lot of us lack accountability for our actions that caused the problem because there's always an action that you orchestrated by yourself even if someone did you bad you let it you let it you c you did some things that caused that action to happen to you always now a lot of us don't account for that action we only account for the reaction of the person or whatever the person has done so first of all if you're on your journey to healing you first need to be accountable for your mistakes right so accept it know it and then lead yourself into healing okay I'm going to accept that I up i'm going to accept that oh I did something so bad i was mean or I was greedy or I was stupid or I was naive or I pretended or I lied you need to you know get to that place and then you can now heal now what is the hardest part of your own healing process um I think the hardest part of my healing process is forgetting that such a thing happened because I feel like I have a way of when I'm by myself I can never lie to myself right so if I need to have a conversation with someone beside me I might not be as transparent as possible but I love to tell myself the truth i hit myself with it very hard that I even exaggerate the matter sometimes so I have a way of accepting that okay probably I was wrong or whatever whatever but the only thing there is that forgetting that such a thing ever happened is really difficult because it keeps replaying in your head it keeps replaying in your head and if for instance what led to the traumatic incident was me being open and free is even most painful because I wouldn't forget that i wouldn't forget that such a thing happened and then I would always regret that I did this thing i gave room for this thing to happen so it's usually the regret and not being able to forget it once I forget which almost never happens but you know once I've accepted the gong gong gong as in it has balanced in my spirit that you know this thing happened but the rest is history so personally I don't think that forgetting an incident or a trauma helps you heal it doesn't and you would not heal from it as long as you try to forget it because trying to forget it will not happen it it can't be forgotten so what it what will happen is you would have to find a way to accept that it happened and you didn't you don't forget it is there it happened and it happened for a reason you know why it happened you were aware while it was happening it just because the turnout wasn't exactly what you thought it would turn out to be so you now get to experience another part but forgetting it doesn't help you heal at all as a matter of fact you keep holding on to the idea of oh maybe I shouldn't have let me just so that in the next time the thing is the lesson you haven't even learned from it you're trying to throw it away let me throw it away let me throw it away but it can never go it will always still be there you have to come to terms with it you have to come to terms with your mistake acknowledging it and living with the idea that oh I really did up and I have to still love myself still with that and is not at the expense of the other person often times when we're trying to say "Oh I love myself." is usually at the expense of someone else but you should be able to have enough love for other people as well as yourself you should be able to grow that kind of love where and that kind of state of mind where you you don't hate yourself regardless of your mistakes and you are aware of these mistakes now one of the things that I that I find very helpful is when I'm able to say to myself that oh this thing really did happen i'm aware that it happened but given the same situation with what I knew then I probably would make the same mistake so now let me pick my learning from here and know that going forward now with what I know I would never make such a mistake again but I think it's is good i love to suffer suffer in what way like heartbreaking things these things I I like when they happen to me so is it fair to say that because when you were narrating you were saying that you are so hard on yourself that you even put extra so is is it fair to say that sometimes you orchestrate the things to make you suffer no and when I said when I say I can even exaggerate the issue is like if maybe if maybe I just let someone step on my foot i can say I can tell myself that I can maybe translate it to myself like it was more than just a step on the leg that's what I'm saying this thing that this person did you did it well you have suffered me do you understand it's like it's like no matter what the situation is I always like to I like when I suffer something because things I suffer even if I have to go through that same episode again it's not going to be the same way you cannot get to me in one particular way more than twice so a lot of things have happened to me and these things have happened so so frequently and so without even caring it doesn't even ask for your permission these crazy things just happen and I've learned to understand that don't you think that there's something you should change if things keep happening in a way that you don't want it to um okay so there are certain things you can change and there are certain things you cannot change for things that are changeable of course it's very it's very normal or sane for you to look into yourself and try to make adjustments for that right but for things you cannot change I'm particular about things you cannot change for things you cannot change when you keep having issues surrounding this same thing you need to program your mind for the worst at every time like I'm always on my defense right which is not how it's supposed to be but I've come to terms with myself that it's my reality so I need to be on my defense that doesn't mean that I would just walk up to someone and be acting crazy but then I'm ready for your crazy right but so if if you say that there's some things that you can't change which I absolutely agree that there are some things but do you feel like these things are based on the outside or within it's usually the outside it's usually the outside it's not anything inside i think you can kind of tweak that don't you think exactly you're supposed to be able to change that but you know where you're like "Oh that there's just some things on the outside." So no there also some things on the inside you can't change though but like no you can there are particular things you actually can change like your character yeah your character you can't necessarily change your character when I say your character your character disposition it's from the inside to the outside but you know that you can have a better manners versus if you didn't realize so those are the things I'm saying about change yeah you can change your manners it's not going to be easy but over time you will get comfortable you can teach yourself to be doing right to be much more less defensive you can so those things are within also so you know because it kind of feels like you're trying to say is outside the world that's causing everything but you need to that's back to take my I think my major problem in life which is not a problem because as I would keep repeating that now now I'm like I'm like I my heart is not even strong i wasn't even born to have a strong heart but like I've just gotten so immune to things people say and things people do like I automatically don't expect you to be sane like meeting someone for the first time i don't expect you to be sane i don't expect you to be to have manners i don't expect you to be respectful i don't expect you to be anything zero expectations you know what i expect everything wrong you see for real I expect everything wrong and it makes me very ready for you so I mean it goes to show that I think from everything I go through I really do learn these things so you you have a lot of healing to do in my opinion i learned these things you do have a lot of healing because in what aspect there's nothing for me to heal from you that really means there's nothing for me to heal from that even currently no no no currently where I am currently where I am because I'm someone who is very about my mental health there's nothing for me to heal from currently about it you can only heal from what affects you don't worry no you can only heal from what affects you if if you've not identified something as problem enough like somebody could actually be burning my house and then I don't even know that my house is on fire I honestly can't care less you know I can't care until I realize that this house they burn because then you now identify that as a problem that you now need to heal from there's nothing I'm healing from don't worry that's unless maybe something new happens unless maybe something new happens so you cannot you cannot live continuously with the idea that everyone that stands in front of you is coming to say something crazy so you have to always be you can't that needs healing so that's what I mean when I say that you really do need to but you might choose to argue with that and later you would find out that you're saying it like that is even healthy for even saying it and I'm like you still have some healing good i understand what you're saying in the particular thing you're saying uh is making a lot of sense but you're saying it like um like I randomly meet people and then someone says hi and I'm like which one be hi i don't know if you understand what I mean you said something it's not that type like I'm ready what I'm trying to say but you need to do something like I'm looking at you like it's like I have my bullets fully loaded in my gun you said that and you just need to move somebody you don't expect the person I don't expect anything good from from them that's what I'm saying having such an expectation needs healing is what I'm saying you shouldn't even have any like I personally generally I don't have any expectation okay so guess what on this show I just realized that there's something I should heal from any posit you do have some healing which is what you just said no it's what you just said that's what I'm saying you really do have some I even still have some healing to do for my own self but that's because everyone is on this journey of how to live better how to have a happier life and in the process of having to have a happier life you need some healing so that you can let go of certain things i don't feel I don't expect any form of negativity or positivity from a new person i don't even expect anything at all i don't expect any I just expect respect and that's all cuz I will give you that and I would expect to get it that's that's the bottom line well I hope you guys have been able to pick a thing or two dealing with traumas and I sure and I'm sure that you guys could already feel the energy in here it is unique to you as an individual no two persons have the same healing process but one thing is for sure in your process of healing you need to first be accountable and then accept the situation and the secret is not in trying to forget it's trying to leave with the idea that this thing happened this trauma is also part of you you know how they always say like your scars aren't meant to be erased because they are not meant to be forgotten they kind of shape you into the person that you are and the person that you become in the future so until next week it has been amazing on Just my POV [Music]