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There’s a version of success the world applauds that quietly disconnects people from themselves.
In this episode of The Work of Warriors, Kim sits down with Allie Colleen for an emotionally honest conversation about identity, artistry, pressure, healing, and what it really takes to stay grounded in an industry that often rewards performance over authenticity.
Together, they explore the emotional realities behind music, creativity, self-trust, relationships, and navigating life as a deeply feeling person in a high-pressure world. This conversation is raw, thoughtful, funny at times, and deeply human.
If you’ve ever felt the tension between who the world expects you to be and who you actually are, this episode will resonate.
Topics include:
- the emotional side of the music industry
- identity and self-worth
- creativity and pressure
- relationships and vulnerability
- nervous system patterns and emotional survival
- healing without losing yourself
Follow Allie:
https://www.instagram.com/alliecolleenmusic?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
https://www.instagram.com/alliecolleenmusic?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Follow Kim:
https://www.instagram.com/kimrapach/
If this episode impacted you, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. Your support helps these conversations reach more artists, creators, and high performers who need them.
Creators and Guests
Guest
Allie Colleen
Allie Colleen is a country singer-songwriter known for her emotionally honest lyrics, strong storytelling, and independent spirit. Based in Nashville, she has built a loyal following through songs that blend vulnerability, grit, and authenticity, carving out her own path in the music industry with releases like “Halos and Horns” and “Tattoos.”
What is The Work of Warriors?
Success shouldn't cost you your peace.
Welcome to The Work of Warriors, the mental health podcast for artists, entertainers, creatives, entrepreneurs, and high performers who want to build extraordinary lives without sacrificing themselves in the process.
Hosted by former therapist and nervous system strategist Kim Rapach, this podcast explores the intersection of mental health, nervous system regulation, creativity, leadership, and sustainable success. Through honest conversations with actors, musicians, comedians, producers, executives, entrepreneurs, and other industry leaders, you'll discover what it really takes to thrive both personally and professionally.
Together, we're changing the conversation around mental wellness in the entertainment industry by:
• Normalizing honest conversations about mental health
• Teaching practical tools for nervous system regulation and emotional resilience
• Redefining success to include well-being, healthy boundaries, and authentic leadership
Whether you're navigating burnout, anxiety, creative pressure, trauma, or simply searching for a healthier way to succeed, you'll find practical insights, inspiring stories, and meaningful conversations designed to help you build a life you don't have to recover from.
Because when artists are well, everybody wins.
Thank you for being part of this movement. Together, we're creating a healthier entertainment industry, one brave conversation at a time.
Kimberly Rapach (01:24.942)
We're just gonna jump right in. I am so excited to introduce to you Allie Colleen. She is a Nashville musician. She is beautiful inside and out. I met her when I was there in person and you are going to love her and her story. Welcome Allie.
Kimberly Rapach (02:55.286)
Hey girl!
Allie colleen (02:55.618)
Hi.
Kimberly Rapach (03:00.312)
Hi, Ali Colleen, welcome. I'm good. I'm gonna try to move you to my other side so I don't look like I'm looking off to the left.
Allie colleen (03:02.722)
you
Allie colleen (03:15.543)
never do Riverside. I did Riverside yesterday and the podcast I was on or Tuesday had there was four of us and it didn't give me an option I don't think on the app to move like where I'm at and I was just on his face the whole time and I was just sitting here just looking at myself like there has to be a better way. I'm not as familiar with Riverside.
Kimberly Rapach (03:16.216)
How sure.
Kimberly Rapach (03:35.79)
There has to be. So what I'm seeing right now is me and you side by side, but you look a little blurry. So I'm going to check my internet bandwidth and I'm going to...
Allie colleen (03:50.649)
It always gives you that little thing where it's like it's recording and like higher quality Do you know I'm talking about? like you see once you start recalling it like gives you that little thing where it's like Because my the podcast I wasn't because I'm not blurry on my screen You're not blurry on your screen though. So maybe that is a concern. Then let me know if there's anything on mine
Kimberly Rapach (03:58.41)
Yeah, yeah, but you're really blurry.
Kimberly Rapach (04:07.5)
Okay.
Kimberly Rapach (04:11.406)
Okay, I'm on the wrong internet, so I'm gonna switch to the right one. If I lose you, if you would just patiently hop back on.
Allie colleen (04:22.508)
Yeah, yeah, honestly, not that fun.
Kimberly Rapach (04:25.27)
Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go.
Allie colleen (04:32.952)
you
Kimberly Rapach (04:34.048)
Okay, we're still here.
Allie colleen (04:36.363)
Better?
Probably the same, huh?
Kimberly Rapach (04:40.468)
Yes, it's about the same. I wish I could see you a little clearer because I want to see your beautiful face.
Allie colleen (04:45.655)
Do I, my camera's completely clear and your camera's completely clear on mine. So what do I need to do? Do I need to, I'm not on wifi. I tend to stay off wifi at my house because it's always messed up. And I'm on the Riverside app. So I'm not on a browser. I'm not on Safari or Chrome.
Kimberly Rapach (05:06.218)
Okay, do you have anything else open?
Allie colleen (05:06.519)
Thank
Allie colleen (05:10.869)
Hmm.
Kimberly Rapach (05:11.21)
everything closed on your computer.
Kimberly Rapach (05:19.214)
Okay, maybe it's just competing.
Like where it's showing me it's recording, it looks fine. It's just in real time, it's real blurry. And it, you know, it's fine. I can adjust. It's just clearer is better for more authentic connection.
Kimberly Rapach (05:59.182)
Let me see, my throat just made a funny noise when I swallowed. I lost you. there you are.
Allie colleen (06:14.136)
Thank
Every time I come on this app, it gives me a little flag where it says, recording is actually in higher quality. And I'm like, why is there actually in that sentence? So hopefully it's Yeah, I'm like, what do mean?
Kimberly Rapach (06:17.955)
there you are.
Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (06:34.22)
Because they know what we're looking at sucks, I think.
Don't worry, we know this looks shitty. It'll get better when you play it back.
Allie colleen (06:44.192)
Yeah, and it probably doesn't change at all, but we're just like reassured, so it's fine.
Kimberly Rapach (06:49.65)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the only thing I struggle with is like, if we have like a vulnerable moment and I can't see your eyes. So I'm just gonna trust that if you get quiet, I'm just gonna stay quiet with you if that's okay.
Allie colleen (06:58.336)
yeah.
Allie colleen (07:04.984)
So you still can't see me very well?
Kimberly Rapach (07:08.928)
It's still blurry. Yeah, it's still pretty blurry. And it's kind of like, know, know how you kind of move like it's kind of glitchy a little bit. But we'll make it work.
Allie colleen (07:10.744)
you
Allie colleen (07:17.807)
Let me see if my Wi-Fi is any better. I don't feel like my Wi-Fi ever works better, but we'll see if it gets better.
Kimberly Rapach (07:22.093)
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Allie colleen (07:27.53)
You let me know what you want to do.
Kimberly Rapach (07:31.01)
You're on it now.
Allie colleen (07:32.746)
Yeah, I just turned it on.
I really do think my 5G usually works better. But I don't know, because Dan, when I did a Riverside thing,
Kimberly Rapach (07:42.732)
Whatever you know.
Say that again.
Allie colleen (07:48.33)
Dan, did Riverside on Tuesday and he looked crazy the whole time. And I asked him if he would look like that and he said no. So I don't know. I don't know if it'll end up looking like this or not, but I hate that you can't see me super well, but I can see you super well.
Kimberly Rapach (07:56.01)
Okay, yeah, Riverside has been having some issues.
Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna roll with it. And if you need to over communicate, like if you feel that I'm missing something, just make sure you let me know. And then I think if if maybe just make sure we're not like talking over each other, because I feel like there's maybe like a one second lag.
Allie colleen (08:11.249)
Hahaha!
Allie colleen (08:20.383)
Okay.
Kimberly Rapach (08:22.712)
So just make, you know what I mean? So just, I don't know if you're feeling it, but I'm feeling just a little bit of a hesitation in the technology, not you. Okay.
Allie colleen (08:28.157)
don't feel it, but I believe you. I do feel like you are delayed a little bit responding to me, but I got you. We'll roll with it. Unless there's something you think I can do.
Kimberly Rapach (08:39.734)
Okay, sounds good.
Not that I know of, really. I think it's probably a Riverside thing. wait, wait, wait. Ali Colleen's network connection updated. Nothing you have to do, just letting you know. Okay, well, there's that. So, we're good. You ready to jump in?
Allie colleen (08:45.309)
Okay.
Allie colleen (09:01.31)
Hmm.
Allie colleen (09:06.537)
Yes, ma'am.
Kimberly Rapach (09:11.618)
Hi, Allie, thank you for being here.
Allie colleen (09:15.058)
Hi.
Kimberly Rapach (09:19.458)
How are you?
Allie colleen (09:20.756)
I'm very good. I'm very good. We're having a beautiful day here in Tennessee. It's one of our first ones. So I've been outside with my little feet in the dirt just trying to get some stuff done on my one day that I got here. So it's been a really good day. Sorry I don't look cuter, but it's been a really good day for me.
Kimberly Rapach (09:36.793)
my gosh, you always look cute. you kidding me?
Allie colleen (09:38.33)
Hahaha
Kimberly Rapach (09:41.782)
A girl in a ball cap is after my own heart.
Allie colleen (09:43.636)
It says golly on it.
Kimberly Rapach (09:47.63)
I love it.
Allie colleen (09:50.356)
That's how I feel today.
Kimberly Rapach (09:54.334)
So we had a fun introduction. I was in Nashville and I was in town with a friend and we had grabbed lunch downtown and we were in one of the local bars and you were singing and I just, of course I hadn't showered and I was in like my yoga pants, but I just had a feeling. Like sometimes I just get a feeling from people and I'm like, you know what, something tells me and I've just learned over time to trust my intuition, something tells me she is passionate about
Allie colleen (09:58.46)
You
Kimberly Rapach (10:24.328)
her life, about mental health, and you know of course I have a podcast so I'm like sometimes I will just walk up and invite people and that's what I did and I'm like just a perfect stranger off the street like by any chance do you have a passion for mental health and you're like turns out I do so and then I was volunteering that night at Porter's Call at their evening of stories which supports artists and mental health
Allie colleen (10:31.022)
No.
Allie colleen (10:46.834)
That was wild. That was wild seeing you at the Night of Stories the same day having talked about it. Again, coming from Midtown as we were, you know, just doing bar stuff. So that was crazy. Felt a little serendipitous. But I mean, I don't know. just I don't know how you can't care enough about.
Kimberly Rapach (10:49.846)
And there you were, walked up and I'm like, Ellie! And I didn't know if you'd recognize me because I had then by showered.
Allie colleen (11:14.546)
not only your mental health, but others, because it's it's kind of the only glue that we have down here. You know what mean? I feel like it's the only thing that keeps us from being primal sometimes.
Kimberly Rapach (11:24.878)
Yeah, well I think we're still even in 2026, we're still struggling with the stigma.
Allie colleen (11:31.311)
Really struggling with the stigma and then... I mean, 2026 has been crazy so far. Nothing that has happened this year to me or my country was on my bingo card, okay? Not a single thing. It's getting a little wild. I feel like it's the time to quit the stigma because stuff's getting a little wild.
Kimberly Rapach (11:55.084)
Yeah, and the stigma tells us that if this is hard, if you have feelings, if you cry, if you feel anxious, if you feel nervous, if you feel sad, if you feel scared, then you must have an issue. And that's just, can we just call that bullshit right now?
Allie colleen (12:11.768)
It's honestly crazy. It's it's it blows my mind. It also blows my mind how much like feelings you know I mean like we don't if we're hungry we eat especially in this country. If you're hungry you eat you know I mean if you're not hungry you eat but if you're hungry you eat and I don't understand why all of the other emotions have such a rapid fire.
you know, kind of emotional response to them, but no physical response. Like if you're sad, it's not okay to cry all of a sudden. Or if it's happy and you're laughing too loud, you want attention. Or if you're scared, you have no reason to be. But if you're hungry, you can eat. And I just don't understand why we don't, why we're not listening to our bodies in a cohesive way that's helpful to us. I have no idea.
Kimberly Rapach (13:01.794)
So much of it is conditioning. It's conditioning.
Allie colleen (13:04.943)
That makes sense.
Kimberly Rapach (13:06.306)
We've been conditioned to believe that emotions are weakness. And I believe it's also rooted in productivity, which goes way, way back. I'm going to take a hard turn for a second, but it's actually rooted in racism. This productivity when, you know, like many, years ago, when it first started, like how do we get the most out of people?
out of human beings, dark skinned human beings, how do we get the most out of them without killing them? And that paired with, you know, so the productivity treating people, you know, especially in this industry, just as productivity machines, as if there are no human limits.
Allie colleen (13:41.42)
Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (13:52.352)
And then also adding the, you know, emotions or weakness. And then you have the social conditioning of if I'm quote unquote weak, which if I'm human, it's not safe, right? Boys get beat up on playgrounds for, you know, being emotional or having emotions. And so there's so much cultural societal conditioning that goes into it that's kept us stuck for so long.
Allie colleen (14:21.173)
It's so frustrating and I feel like it's really frustrating when it comes down to the genders. Not in, not one and more of a way than the other. I mean, the, the, social conditioning among women, I don't understand, how we've allowed it to go on for as long as we have in the way that we have and how we're all genuinely shocked by it. You know, like I, I'll be 30 this year and I've been without a partner for
almost five years and looking at the way that men and women interact in society, I feel like has absolutely blindsided me. And I've been here the whole time. I've been around. I've been here. And that's been crazy for me. But I do have a lot of empathy for just men right now. I have a lot of empathy for their whole world and their whole struggle with the whole identity crisis and all the things. But at end of the day, they've put themselves in a position
Kimberly Rapach (15:04.738)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (15:20.981)
where they're the only ones who can do something about it. Like they made this system that they're so upset about. And I don't know how as an outside person who just loves men, I'm not a man hater at all. I think that they have a really valuable working, you know, thing in whatever this is that we're doing down here, whatever this anthill is that we're all agreeing on kind of thing. I think that they have a really special role and I don't think it's always just provision and what it is, but.
I have a lot of empathy for them. They've got a really tough road right now. And again, they're the only ones who can change it for each other.
Kimberly Rapach (15:57.804)
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said that I have a huge passion for men. grew up with boys. All my cousins were boys. And I just have a heart for men. And I just have a special passion for or compassion for their social conditioning and for the limits that they they are, you know, that are put on them. But like you said, it has to come from from within the system, you know, to change. And, you know, I think that comes from
nervous system regulation, paying attention to your mental health, pushing back against systems that keep you from being free. And whatever that looks, whatever gender you are, whatever your beliefs are, where are you not free? And are you willing and brave enough to push back against that? And you can only do that if you are strong mentally and emotionally.
Allie colleen (16:50.055)
And you can only do it if you have successfully over time, if you have a support group too, because that's so ostracizing. know, choosing what is best for you and speaking up for yourself and also going against, you know, the status quo, like it's so ostracizing. And I feel like women do that better than men do. You know, I feel like women are already kind of not punching bags by any means, but women are already kind of used to, especially from each other.
We're already kind of used to getting bullied. It's like, might as well do something for like self preservation. And boys, I feel like they bully in groups. You know what mean? I feel like it's boys against boys. Whereas like when you're in a group of girls, it's like every single one of you feel sometimes like they're against each other and it's really hard. So there's just so, like you said, there's so much conditioning and there's so much stuff and that's frustrating because
You know?
Allie colleen (17:50.088)
I don't know, you feel wrong. Like you feel wrong to do the right thing. And it's, this is a tough world out there. How is your world personally? My world personally is on fire. My business world is doing okay. Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (18:03.885)
Yeah?
Kimberly Rapach (18:07.288)
What does it mean on fire? Like, are we talking fire like, that's fire? Or like dumpster fire?
Allie colleen (18:09.889)
I don't know.
No, not like the cool lingo, like the fire you and I are scared of, the fire as it was God made, okay? A little spooky, okay? I don't know, I don't know if it's again, the country climate kind of thing going on and everyone has their own political and personal views on top of just the world of existence. I don't know what it is, but I just feel like everyone around me is really on either...
either side of the spectrum, everyone around me is either having a panic attack or they're just in bed. You know I mean? Like, and I don't know how to help anyone around me. I don't feel like a tool these days. I feel like a broken hammer. I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to fill anybody's cup. Mine is broken. Like I'm trying to fix my cup. And I think that's also where it gets so muddy in the world of mental health is it's like, we all.
Kimberly Rapach (18:59.629)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (19:04.698)
I think we all, I look at it, I come from a church perspective and I feel like I kind of look at it the way that I used to look at the church was it was like I was always trying to get clean before I went into that building, you know, which is not what it's meant to be. You're not supposed, you're supposed to go to church to get clean. You're not supposed to clean yourself before you go to church. And I feel like mental health is kind of a little bit of the same battle for me and my family and my friends. It's, we're all trying to hide our own issues so that we can help each other. And I do wonder if it would be better.
if we all just bled on each other for a while or is I just gonna set everything on fire and then nothing's gonna be left? I don't know. But me and and mine are struggling with it right now for sure.
Kimberly Rapach (19:47.562)
I appreciate your honesty so much and it is a very special gift to be able to hold the nuance of what is happening in our individual world and the collective.
Allie colleen (19:49.605)
Mm.
Kimberly Rapach (20:02.95)
And that's where, that's actually where my gifts lie, to be honest. And so I feel like I have the ability to hold the nuance, but the only reason I have the ability to do that is all of the work that I've done.
Allie colleen (20:17.391)
Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (20:17.73)
you know, on my nervous system. And so even in addition to my mental health work, it's even deeper than that. It's not just accepting, say, a diagnosis of PTSD, but getting to the roots of what is happening in my nervous system, what's happening with my emotions that's directly tied to my lived experiences according to my story. And how is that showing up in the collective? And what can I do for
Allie colleen (20:45.508)
.
Kimberly Rapach (20:47.744)
myself to be able to regulate my nervous system so that I can show up and hold that nuance for myself, for my family, and for other people. even in the world of mental health, I love the fact that we, you know, have conversations around it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to talk about your feelings, and I'm the one raising the flag going, I want to go deeper. I want to talk about the roots. I want to talk about
Not only is it not okay to not be okay, what if you actually are okay? What if you're not broken? What if you're not a diagnosis? What if you are, especially museums, especially musicians, because you are working, bringing your God-given gifts into an industry that has unrealistic expectations. What if you're not your diagnosis? What if you don't have, I just put this on my threads, what if you don't have,
you're not struggling with mental health issues, what if your nervous system was never built to be able to hold the pressure of the industry? What if we started talking about nervous system?
Allie colleen (21:58.914)
So if you hit that.
Allie colleen (22:04.194)
I'm listening.
Kimberly Rapach (22:07.331)
no, go ahead.
Allie colleen (22:08.614)
So when you see that wall and you realize that it's there, right? And that wall all of a sudden has object permanence and you understand, okay, like maybe it's not me or the system or anything. again, we're not built for the conditions that we've placed ourselves in.
Allie colleen (22:26.209)
Then what? Then what? What do you do with the system, right? Because you can't step away from it, right? Like for me personally, like I'll never do anything else, I don't think. I've been thinking about it lately, but I don't think I'll ever do anything else. I love music, I love my world. There is nothing healthy about it. There is nothing healthy about my work world and how it, and that I expect. And when I say that, I mean like the broad spectrum of.
what it is that I do. Again, my work world is actually, it's been really great this year so far and I'm really proud of it, but it really hasn't started too much. We're in March, know, our big touring season's still coming up. So what do you do? Do we talk about it? Do we set boundaries? Is it one of those things where someone else's actions are gonna have to change so that mine can be safe? Because I see what you're talking about and it's only been the last couple years when I've started to look at it from the perspective that you're talking about.
But then I just hit a wall of, I can't actually do anything about that. So let's turn this way in the maze and go hit another wall somewhere else, because I don't know what to do about that one.
Kimberly Rapach (23:35.692)
Yeah, so, okay, first of all, think, okay, maybe we're not built for this industry. However, I think it's not like we're not built for it. think it's our nervous systems were not trained for it. And that can be corrected. That can be corrected. so it's, yeah, and so imagine if we built nervous systems.
Allie colleen (23:49.439)
Okay.
Allie colleen (23:54.429)
makes sense.
Kimberly Rapach (24:02.39)
within systems. We built nervous systems within industries.
Right? And the people who are passionate, the people who do care about each other, the people who do care about themselves, come from a place of self-attunement, self-regulation, understanding what they've lived through that's showing up in the collective, how it's causing them harm or keeping them from being free. And we build that from inside out. And it starts with one individual at a time. And so all I'm really suggesting is instead
of saying, instead of settling at, have mental health issues, it's okay to talk about it. I want to empower people to know that they have the ability to increase their capacity to navigate this industry as we also address regulating the industry. And I don't mean legally, I mean, emotionally.
Allie colleen (25:01.734)
Right. No, that makes that makes really beautiful sense. It feels more like a tool than a wall for the first time, you know, for me. So thank you for hearing that. It really does. It feels a little more like a like a little helping, like understanding place to because it is such a privilege. And I think that's also I get so caught up in my industry is it's like it's such a privilege.
Kimberly Rapach (25:10.61)
Allie colleen (25:26.609)
to get to make music for people and it's such a privilege to get to travel and it's such a privilege to have the income that we've been lucky to have to continue to do what we do kind of thing. I was in a co-write yesterday and I came in, I said, hey, my world's on fire, we're gonna create a story today. This isn't mine, this isn't anybody's, this is one of those days where we are figuring out these two characters as we write about them and let's make them up and let's figure it out.
And midway through the write, my co-writer did go, you know, this is just a lot easier when we aren't also writing the narrative. Like, do you relate to this at all? And would you like, you put your life in this for me so we can maybe already have the storyline? And I said, no, man. I said, I'm so, right now, my life is in pieces and that's fine. I look at that like a puzzle, not like a broken vase. You know I mean? Like, I love puzzles. So it's fine. It's fine that it's in pieces and it's cool that I'm recognizing pieces.
that are maybe parts of other puzzles that I've been trying to fit into this one for a long time. So a lot of good stuff, lot of good capable growth going on. But with that said, the one thing that you do as a songwriter that I found all my other friends doing is when something bad happens to us and bad as a perspective. So when something challenging happens to us, right? That's putting us in the season that you are forced to react in one way or the other.
We act like we have these really safe songwriting rooms where we can come in and we can talk about what we're going through. But what we're really doing is we're walking in with a color palette of like all different dark purples and blacks and blues and going, how can we romanticize this? Like I just had my whole world broken by somebody. How can we romanticize that into a three minute song where other people are going to want to kind of exist into it? And we think that we're validating their emotions and we definitely are. But if that's all we're doing, it's never going into that.
that moment of actually listening to yourself and talking about what you're going through and knowing how you're going to react next time when a human being puts you in that place or whatever the position is. So I love my industry, but it is one too that I feel like we pride ourselves on some kind of mental health that I don't think we have. I don't think we have it. think we're making, I think romanticizing things that we should actually be whatever, maybe picking apart or analyzing or fixing or whatever that would be.
Kimberly Rapach (27:51.31)
Sure.
Yeah. And what you're describing is trying to create art from the pain, which is beautiful. And if everyone could do that, we would have a different world. And sometimes it's not enough. And sometimes it's the skipped piece where what's actually true is if you are able to be present in your pain and you're able to regulate your nervous system to be your own biggest advocate and your own biggest cheerleader, you actually have more clarity.
Allie colleen (27:59.097)
No.
Kimberly Rapach (28:23.636)
and you actually have more creativity and it feels like less of a push and pull between how do I bring this thing to life and make it make purpose, right? It's almost like if I can make this mean something and if I can touch somebody else with it, then I'm okay. Like imagine if you were already okay, even in your pain, imagine what you'd be able to create.
Allie colleen (28:24.043)
Thank
Allie colleen (28:42.317)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (28:46.851)
Yeah, I think.
Kimberly Rapach (28:46.882)
Because that's what people need. want to know, are you okay? Because I'm, I'm okay if you're okay. Right.
Allie colleen (28:53.12)
Right. No, you're so right. And it is interesting. then musicians have this weird romanticizing thing of themselves, where if you do that, you're not sparkly anymore. And I'm like, nah, I think we can all be, I think we can have some mental health and co-regulation and all of these things. And you can still be sparkly. You can still be mysterious and like you can write your whatever songs and people are going to care about it. So I'm kind of in this little pool with a lot of my friends of mine here in Nashville where it's like, we all want to get better.
But we're worried if we get better, we're gonna lose our sparkle the same way that like, you know, ADHD kids don't want to be medicated because they lose their pizzazz when really they can just sit still for an hour. So it's a really weird, a weird world that mixes the two of them. And then you mix that with, again, we love them. You mix that with men and you're writing songs in this really emotional space with men who have, I'm not gonna say they've never emotionally regulated. I'm not gonna pick on them and be all biased towards them, but.
It's just a little weird world, but it's such a privilege to make music.
Kimberly Rapach (30:01.004)
Yeah, and if you think about it, the psychological pattern, and I'll even go so far as I'll just be bold and call it an addiction because our egos and our nervous system get addicted to the hit we get, right? And if your existence and your pain,
is addicted to how other people perceive it. And if it makes a difference, even in a beautiful way, that's genuine, if we are not aware of that, our entire existence is attached to our pain, then we're never free. Like, we get addicted to like, well, if I'm free, then I'm not impactful. And it's like, no, it's the opposite. When you're free, you get to free other people.
Allie colleen (30:24.689)
Mm-hmm.
Allie colleen (30:48.405)
That's a really beautiful way to look at it, because that is exactly how it feels. It does feel like, oh, well, if I'm healed, what do I have to give? But I don't think I've been giving misery this whole time. You know what I mean? I do think it's been a very cell block-ish way to think about making music and doing it. And me and so many of my friends do it. And that's also why I go to Porter's Call, and I love Porter's Call so much, because it's just a different brain type, and it's a different.
I can't say I've ever really seeked medical therapy outside of Porter's Call, to be honest with you, I think for that reason. So I might just be biased to the idea of it. it is crazy that everyone who's making your guys' music, for everybody, we're a little bonkers, you know?
Kimberly Rapach (31:39.702)
Yeah, well, we love it. We love our Porter's call. I would I would send someone to Porter's call before I would send someone to a traditional clinical therapist, but they all have the background anyway. But they look at things more holistically, they look at artists as a whole human, and they don't look at their artists from a place of deficiency or lack or disorder.
Allie colleen (31:39.733)
Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Rapach (32:06.626)
but they look at them as human beings with gifts who are bringing their gifts into a toxic industry that we all love the industry. We do. Like I always say, when the world is upside down, it's the artists who save us. And therefore it would behoove us to take care of the artists. And that's what Porter's called us.
Allie colleen (32:06.708)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (32:20.339)
.
Allie colleen (32:27.045)
I love, I love Porter's Call. I love all of the things that you don't have to explain to Porter's Call. Like, you know, the lifestyle that the artist lives is so cool and it's so privileged and it's so wonderful. For me, I don't have...
I have a handful of close relationships, I really do. Two of them do travel with me all of the time. So it's really nice to have someone that knows you, know, out on the road kind of thing. But with that said, my two closest people are usually with me on the road, or, and they're not romantic relationships of mine kind of thing. So you go and you play these shows, and you're the main thing that everyone showed up for, you know I mean?
and you're all, anybody wanted to be around that night and people will pay extra money to spend just a little more time with you after or before the show. And it's a very wild world and you're just getting pulled in 17,000 directions for whoever they think that you are. And then you get back on the bus or in the van and you haven't touched your phone for 12 hours and you go check it and you have a little moment before you check it like, how many people have needed me today? And there's never a notification, you know, no one's needed you.
Because the people you're working with are right next to you, so no one's texting you that day. And for me, I don't have any relationships outside of it. So it's like a really... I think that's my battle in the music world, is that ego. You know, is that ego of there's such physical evidence all day that I'm important and that I matter and that I have value and that people are enticed by me and intrigued and compliment me and all the things. And then you go back to your actual world and your bubble pops and it's just...
No one even wondered what I was doing today, you know, or no one even, whatever, and that's not true, but that's what the phone image gives or whatever. And so I think that's a big reason too why I think I went to Porter's Call to try and regulate just the ego of it all.
Kimberly Rapach (34:35.15)
The ego is always trying to keep you safe. And what I hear is just a genuine desire to have authentic relationships outside of your career.
Allie colleen (34:50.168)
Yeah, I feel like that's probably what it is, but then you come home and you're off the road for a little while and any other relationship feels the same way that the stage feels. You know, it feels like it feels like you have to show up as what they think Ali is and what and versus what Ali is kind of thing. So I think that's kind of been my mental gymnastics is figuring out the difference between, you know, the artist Ali Colleen and me kind of thing.
But I don't know that I find this in my friends too. It's like we are, we're really smart people and smart in like a, in a left brain way, you know, not even in a book smart kind of way. So it's like the challenge that this industry provides is absolutely fantastic for me, you know, kind of thing. So I think there's a lot of really good things about it and a lot of really challenging things about it. But I wish more musicians and artists knew.
about Porter's Call and about even Music Cares and like all the things that we have here in Nashville that are trying to are trying to be a part of kind of that mental health regulation wave that artists need. And I think it's so crazy that labels don't come with that as a requirement. know, that labels aren't honestly forced to work with Porter's Call or something like it or have their own version of it. And when I was going to university for music business, they said that there was.
you there was two life classes that you had to take at Belmont to be an artist, to make sure that you understood emotional regulation and all of the things that are gonna be except like expected of you in this industry. And then, you know, I graduated and I went out into the industry and I did it and I didn't see that anywhere. And so I also think it's wild that there are universities talking about how, we've implemented this role within the labels to help you guys with this.
They don't even have artist development anymore, nonetheless therapy for artists, you know, on the road or whatever. So it's kind of a, the town can't agree on it either. know, Nashville can't really agree on the importance of it.
Kimberly Rapach (36:52.416)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I work with two other coaches in Nashville, and we are working on a program to bring into the executive level to bring more all of it. We each do something different, but bringing in a team of people to work with labels and executives who are willing and who...
are advocates for personal development, mental health, mental wellness for their artists. so, yeah, because you're exactly right. It's necessary. But I will tell you, even in my career as when I went to school to be a social worker, it was the same thing. Like everything you just described, was here's the class on
Allie colleen (37:22.796)
Google.
Kimberly Rapach (37:43.406)
compassion fatigue and you have to know how hard this is going to be as a caregiver, as a therapist, as a social worker. But nowhere in my degree was I ever taught anything about nervous system regulation. It was, here's the problem, here's the diagnosis, here's how you treat it, here's the things you do. And it wasn't even my own emotional freedom I didn't have until I worked with a coach and learned how to regulate my nervous system. I'm like.
I could have used this in school in my graduate program and all the clients I've worked with probably would have really benefited from it. So it's all industries, right? Like all industries are, they have their own issues that it just happens to be the entertainment industry and the music industry are really, really the cream of the crop when it comes to the imbalance of wellness and expectation.
Allie colleen (38:12.967)
Right. Yeah.
Allie colleen (38:19.539)
Yeah. Yeah.
Allie colleen (38:24.416)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (38:34.611)
Yes
Allie colleen (38:38.667)
Compassion regulation has to be crazy. That has to be crazy. I don't know if it's really something I've ever really thought about before in the sense of like your side of the table of the line of work kind of thing. had a... I've been with Miss Beth at Porter's Call for a long time and we kind of hit that place where she was like, we're kind of getting that place where we're kind of just chatting. You're kind of just coming in like it's lunchtime. And I'm like, well, yeah, I'm really, I'm feeling good. I really, I feel really good about myself. I like this.
Kimberly Rapach (38:39.81)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (39:06.462)
Maybe we can just be friends and have lunch now. And she goes, no, we gotta like, we just gotta keep moving, you know? And so she then suggested that I go, do you know Miss Debbie Reed at all? I don't know how close these circles are or how wide they are. She's out of Utah, but she does, like, she would do like a four day trauma intensive that you never really come out of. Like you stay with her and you do the four days.
Kimberly Rapach (39:25.07)
don't think so.
Allie colleen (39:34.17)
And you kind of treat it like a nine to five and whatever kind of thing. And so she was going to send me to go do that. And I, when I met Miss Debbie, I never ended up getting to do it. I wasn't able to afford it and we're still kind of working on it. But Miss Debbie, that was my first thing that I asked her when I sat down with her. I said, what is it in you that wants to sit with people for four days?
and take on whatever they know as their largest traumas or whatever and how does that not, how does that make you a tool for your family at the end of that? And her answer was crazy to me. wasn't anything magical or romantic or anything. I thought it would be, she would go, my brain doesn't work like yours does. I don't care. I said, what? She goes, I don't care. She goes, there's nothing that you've gone through that's gonna affect me.
She was, love you as a human being and all these things. And she had a really beautiful answer that was kind, but she just was like, I don't work like that. Like what's happened to you doesn't happen to me. Like I'm fine. And I feel like if I sat with people for four days at a time, whatever had happened to them would bleed onto me. So that's what the other side of the table does from where I'm sitting is absolutely crazy to me.
Kimberly Rapach (40:47.5)
Yeah, well, and it's just being, you know, doing the work that you teach and that you work with with your clients, right? Like I have to be able to know what's mine and what's yours. And I have to be first committed to myself before I'm committed to you. Otherwise I'm showing up with my ego.
Allie colleen (40:54.248)
Mm-hmm.
Allie colleen (41:04.508)
Yeah, that makes sense.
Kimberly Rapach (41:07.906)
Yeah. So we just dove right in. mean, we took, we just took the deep dive right off the end of the pool. I feel like we jumped off a cliff. was beautiful. It was like, you know, beautiful landscape and it was, you know, beautiful waters. But I gave a very brief introduction of you, but I would love if you just told our listeners, like, who is Ali Colleen? Like, who are you? What do you do? What is your, what is your genre? What, tell us about you.
Allie colleen (41:08.37)
Crazy.
Allie colleen (41:19.494)
Ha
Allie colleen (41:29.468)
yeah.
Right, right. You're like, what's the context? Hi, hi everybody. My name's Allie. I've been in Nashville for, this will be my 12th year. I grew up in Oklahoma. I moved here when I was 17 to go to a university here called Belmont University where I got a degree in songwriting, whatever that means. It was rad. Highly recommend, highly recommend. Go to school for four years for no reason. Highly recommend.
Kimberly Rapach (41:40.302)
you
Allie colleen (42:04.534)
But it was a program you had to be accepted into and it was a very small program and it was very cool. So that was kind of my introduction to Nashville. And I graduated in 2018 and I've been putting out music since 2019. And we tour nationally, we go all over this country and we kind of play anywhere people will have us. We play a lot of county fairs, a lot of small venues, a lot of bars. We've been really lucky with two tours in our career. I've had the privilege of going on tour with Lee Bryce.
who has produced probably a handful of my songs. We also have a duet out together. You guys can check out if you're Lee Bryce fans. And then we also made the Jelly Roll tour, which was kind of the coolest thing that I've ever done and the biggest thing that we've ever done. So we have done an arena tour one time and it was with Ernest and Shibuzy and Jelly Roll. And that was the end of 2024. So it's been an entire year since then, which is crazy. And then Miss Kim ran into me in a bar somewhere between now and then.
still doing my little four hour cover sets kind of thing that I do here in Nashville. The glamour side of everything that I do for sure. But I don't know, I've been writing music since I was eight years old and it's all I've ever wanted to do. And I didn't communicate very well as a kid. I don't feel like I communicate super well as an adult, but I've obviously been in training for it and I do it for a living kind of thing. So I figured it out a little more, but I didn't communicate really well when I was younger.
Kimberly Rapach (43:03.116)
Hahaha!
you
Allie colleen (43:30.176)
and I had really big feelings and I had a lifestyle that no one else had and I just had a lot of really big emotions around my childhood kind of thing and I found that if I would sing about it people would listen to me and when I would talk about it I was just some kid just jibber jabbing about whatever they didn't even know what I was talking about I probably didn't know what I was talking about but that's why I fell in love with songwriting because you get to sit there and you get to think about no one but yourself for however long you write this song
And then you sing this song and some stranger looks at you and goes, did you write that about me? I'm like, no, you've literally never crossed my mind. No, I didn't write that about you. And I found this really cool way to connect really young with people that I had no common ground with. And I just fell in love with music in that way. And that's honestly the only reason I'm still doing it because I don't feel like I...
I feel like I've gotten a decent toolbox over the years, but I feel like I'm so far from being able to actually mentally support or help people or reflect in my own life that I am healthy in any kind of way. So outside of just that absolute desire for connection, I think is what keeps me in this industry and doing music. I feel like a lot of people want to be famous or lot of people like being on stage.
And I find it odd that I am still the center of the entire night and I feel like I can't connect with anybody in the audience. Which is not true. I have some of the coolest after show stories ever with people and it's been such a blessing. But that's kind of how I ended up in this big spaghetti plate of what is Nashville and music and everything.
Kimberly Rapach (45:17.6)
It's so beautiful. just watched the documentary called Stands with Eminem and watching his, you know, just
Allie colleen (45:23.768)
I've heard really good things about it. I love him, but I haven't watched any of it.
Kimberly Rapach (45:30.284)
Yeah, it was really good. And he talked about, you know, just how odd it is to have all these people there to see you. And, you know, I think as as fans and as, you know, consumers of art, that doesn't it doesn't strike us. just we look at artists like, well, that's just what you do. Of course, we're here, you know, and the loyalty and I mean, his fans, it's a wild community. But
Allie colleen (45:48.341)
Thank
Kimberly Rapach (45:55.404)
Yeah, just that feeling of like, you're here to hear me, like, you know, I do some speaking and even with that, it's like, why? Right before like, what, do want to hear what I have to say? Like, what and so having an arena full or, know, a festival or a crowd of people like it's in shorts, it's amazing. And I love that you said your desire for connection. Yeah.
Allie colleen (46:05.907)
Nah, it's wild.
Allie colleen (46:19.553)
Yeah, I do. I have.
Kimberly Rapach (46:22.39)
And I think that's what I felt from you.
Allie colleen (46:26.208)
Felt a little connection, a little tequila. Hell yeah. That's where I tried to settle. well I had tequila. I did. yeah, I did. I always do.
Kimberly Rapach (46:31.266)
I didn't have anything. was, I was, I was like, you may have had tequila, but I was stone cold sober. If I had had tequila, I probably wouldn't have not have. I probably wouldn't have even approached you had I had tequila. Cause I've been like, I don't even know if I'm speaking clearly.
Allie colleen (46:44.99)
Hahaha
Interesting. If I've approached somebody, I've probably had tequila. I'm the total opposite. If I'm talking to you, I've probably had something.
Kimberly Rapach (47:02.254)
That's funny, yeah. What was I going to ask you? you. Yeah.
Allie colleen (47:04.031)
I'm a really big fan.
Allie colleen (47:09.503)
And he has been really verbal his entire artist career of being that guy who like doesn't want to be famous. You know what I mean? Like he the whole time like all of his songs are about can I just have my cake and eat it too? Like can I just not can I not rap and be literally the rap god and the greatest one that's ever been and you guys not care about me? And I'm like that's how I feel! I don't feel like giving him obviously but I relate to that.
Kimberly Rapach (47:28.622)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I was going to ask you what your wins have been in the industry and you mentioned, you know, you tour with Lee Bryce and then the Jelly Roll tour and so fun and I've seen some of those performances online. It's so fun. I've listened to your music and you have had a lot of wins and it's so exciting. Before I move on, are there any other wins?
Allie colleen (47:49.855)
.
Kimberly Rapach (48:01.61)
outside of like the public perception of what someone would think like, cool, you got to meet that person. people are people, right? And I know that, you know, it's more of the art and it's the excitement. Are there any other wins in the industry that you would share that maybe wouldn't necessarily be a win for somebody else or someone who's not a musician or an artist?
Allie colleen (48:12.114)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (48:24.774)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (48:28.165)
Of the two things that I want to, or the two tours that I've been on were such a big win for me because the Libre-Eyes and the Jelly Roll thing are definitely the biggest things I've done in my career on a commercial level and I think everyone would agree, like yeah, her arena tour was the biggest thing she's done. But it was the biggest thing that I've done for Ally in my opinion because I was chosen for those roles. So in this industry, usually if you're supporting a tour or something, you're both
you're both on the same label, right? Like the same money is being made for the same people if these two people are on stage together. Or, you know, this is our next up and coming that we have a plan for. The audience isn't going to know them, but if we put them on these opening stages, they're going to they're going to start like there's usually a plan behind it. And both the Lee tour and the Jelly tour was just one of those really small moments where both of those artists in their own time had heard something of mine and thought.
This is an artist that deserves a stage. So those were really big wins for me because nobody asked those artists to have me on tour with them. Those artists chose me and it meant so much because like in Nashville, there's probably 150,000 songs a day that are released. Now there's probably 175,000 because there's at least 25,000 AI songs a day being released right now. So there's so much music going on.
Kimberly Rapach (49:48.308)
boy, yeah.
Allie colleen (49:50.455)
And know, Jelly Roll didn't have to tune in to the one radio show I was on the one morning I was on it to hear Halos and Horns to say, give her 20 cities. And I know that he argued with his camp about it, because I know his camp was like, hey, this girl's not going to sell a single ticket for us on this arena tour. Because that's what I would do if I was in their place. If I was trying to make money off of a tour, I would know and understand that this very talented
you know, young girl that has 50,000 followers is not gonna sell any tickets in these arenas that matter. And Jelly didn't care about that. And so to be chosen by people that I am a fan of was a really, really big win for me outside of some industry kind of thinking, hey, this is how we can, you know, make some money off Allie or make her big or something. It was just two artists who had worked their butts off to have the career that they had decided to give me a stage. Blows my mind. So those are really big wins.
Kimberly Rapach (50:44.652)
That's incredible. That's so beautiful.
Allie colleen (50:47.428)
They're huge wins and they scare me because you can't replicate them. You know, I can't go, okay, how do I make Ashley McBride fall in love with me and bring me on tour? Like you can't just make that happen. So as much as I love them, I'm a little bummed that there wasn't a recipe, you know? But with that said, I love, I grew up a very privileged.
White girl in Oklahoma with a very successful family. know, representation wasn't really something that was shy in my life growing up that I related to or understood. I didn't understand that. But when I moved to Nashville, I loved tattoos. I loved them since I was a little, little kid. I love the representation of the story. love even just the stupid archaic of like someone sat through pain to look like that. I love all of it. I think it's all cool. I think it's romantic. I think it's cool. So.
Well, I moved here and I got my first sleeve when I was 18, just right out of the box. Just got my first sleeve, just absolutely loved it. And nobody in country music looked like me anymore. And there was not a single female who was being represented, who these companies were picking up that looked like me. And I thought, what have I done? Like, how am I going to be represented in this town? And then Ashley McBride popped off commercially, you know, kind of thing. So seeing Ashley be on stage.
in her 30s covered in tattoos was really changing for my career and I fell absolutely in love with that. And I tell that story to say on the jelly tour, when you go out as an independent artist, you're just trying to make any money that you can. I lost a lot of money on that tour. And just trying to make any money that I can because we had crazy expenses for the first time out of nowhere. And so every night, me and Bev, my manager, we would sell our merch together. We would set up our own table and it worked really well as
well as it didn't work because people would have to stand in a second merch line. You know what I mean? So anyway, we sold our own merch and I kept my eyeliner in my back pocket and every single little girl, even little boys, but there wasn't a lot of them that wanted it. But every single girl anywhere from in their 20s to probably four or five years old, they would come through and I have a little horseshoe face tat that I drew on for two years, just trying to hit this goal. I wanted to hit a million streams and that was the only way I was gonna get my face tat.
Allie colleen (53:04.021)
and I was lucky enough to hit that right before the tour so I for the first time had a real little horseshoe-faced hat and they all loved it. Every single girl that came through my line left that line with a little eyeliner horseshoe-faced hat and it was the first time that I just saw little girls that looked like me.
that were just running around that could be anything they wanted to be. And they were seeing a young girl also going up there and doing whatever she wanted to do. Like again, something I've wanted to do since I was eight. I was younger than most of these girls when I wrote my first song. And so that was the biggest win I think I've ever had. And it goes back to my show ends with this song called Wildflower. And over the years, there was one little girl in...
Van Wert, Ohio, like the middle of nowhere, Ohio, who knew all of my stuff. And it was the first time I'd ever showed up to a show where someone knew my stuff. And she, we always end the song with, or end the set with Wildflower. And she ran up to the stage at the end of the thing and I just gave her my microphone and she just sang, Wildflower. It's like the last word of the whole thing. And that has become my biggest career win on the planet is now little girls come to my shows to get face tats and sing the last word of my song.
There's nobody cooler than me out there. Like, what a world. Big wins. Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (54:24.186)
my god. I have head to toe goosebumps and I will tell you anybody who knows me knows when I have goosebumps it's just like my nervous system screaming true true true yes yes yes. That is the most beautiful win. Sorry to all the previous guests but that is the most beautiful win. Those are the most beautiful wins I've ever heard. I just I love you even more.
Allie colleen (54:31.732)
Hahaha
Allie colleen (54:38.981)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (54:42.931)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Allie colleen (54:51.654)
It's such a, it's so special. It's so cool knowing that you're making a little girl feel or hoping that you're making a little girl feel the way that Ashley McBride makes me feel. Like that's crazy. And it could be anything. Like she could want to be an astronaut or a teacher or she could want to be a stripper for all I care. She now wants to be the best one there's ever been. And I'm like, hell yeah, let's go. Like go do your thing. And I just, I love children.
Kimberly Rapach (55:03.968)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (55:19.858)
I don't understand them. think they have sticky hands. They gross me out. I don't want to have them. But I'll tell you what, when I think about kids and just like the whole world that's in front of them and you know, how, the effect that they can have on this culture and all these things, just, I want there to be, I think it makes me emotional because I always tried so hard to change little Ali. I always thought that she could be better, that she could look different. And I see these little kids and I'm like,
I think we might have a bunch of little allies out there and I'm really, really proud of it. I'm really proud of them and how their brains work and how they don't communicate the best, but they do. And I just, I think that's been my biggest win in music is being able to connect with kids who get to be unstoppable.
Kimberly Rapach (56:12.942)
I love that so much, Allie. Like you're literally, you know, there's the saying like you are the one you've been waiting for. Like that's you. Like you've become the one you were always waiting for. And first you do that for yourself and then you do it for other people. So beautiful.
Allie colleen (56:20.154)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (56:28.818)
Yeah, it's a privilege. It's very cool and it's very special.
And so those are those are my wins so far. I'll have other ones too, which will be crazy.
Kimberly Rapach (56:36.322)
Yeah, I love your.
Kimberly Rapach (56:42.332)
yeah, I can't wait till you're on stage with Ashley. That'll be cool. It's coming. That's okay. It's coming. She seems like a safe person to be able to cry with.
Allie colleen (56:46.674)
I cry the whole time.
Allie colleen (56:54.78)
She really does dude, she just seems like the bee's knees. We've had a couple encounters, her and I, and she's just always been so kind and so Ashley. I've never wondered who I'm talking to when I'm around her. She just seems to be Ashley and I just, I'm such a fan.
Kimberly Rapach (57:14.882)
Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. My next question is, and whether you want to talk about growing up with a successful family or the beginning of the industry to where you are now, whatever you want to share, what have been your losses in the industry that someone else could relate to or maybe benefit from knowing that you made it through it?
Allie colleen (57:38.606)
Yeah.
I think my losses are...
Just the noise that comes with being a really confident female but also just performer. People, especially me, a lot of people think that I am absolutely indestructible, which I think is kind of cool. I have a representation for being really tough and not caring about.
you what people think and all of these things, which to a point is true when I can get myself out of the body, right? When I look at myself as Allie and little Allie and current Allie and all of those things, like I really do think she's the bee's knees. think she's one of the coolest people that I know and I really love her and I trust her and I'm proud of her. But when I'm caught up and I'm in the meat sack, you know I mean? And it's me in here. People really feel the need to tell you all the time how you could be better at being you.
And I think there were so many years that I let people tell me how to be me, thinking that I was all of a sudden gonna be something that was more worthy or more liked or just a better version of me. For a while I kinda thought I was forging something by dealing with all of this fire and all the way that people talk to me. And so I think there's been a couple years that I would count as losses when it came to listening.
Allie colleen (59:02.958)
to my audience and social media and comments and stuff like that on who and what I was supposed to be. But that also has turned into a huge win when you can flip that mindset. You know I mean? And you realize that no, people came here for exactly what I am now, not to put in, you know, a handy bucket of what could be different. So I think a lot of it is just, I think a big loss is how much I let Ali.
suffer at the opinion of other people for a long time who were just genuinely wrong and they didn't mean ill so I would just always encourage anyone old or young to just not Worry about that because the comments on social media these days are absolutely crazy And I just think you know kind of in the same vein as that just not Not believing in yourself, you know, I this this community in this country in this industry doesn't do a very good job
understanding that young women know exactly what they want and who they are and how they want to be represented. And so I think when I moved to Nashville as a young artist, there was a lot of older, usually male men who were in producing roles and booking roles and all these kind of roles who had seen all of this talent come through town. They weren't wrong. And they had made a list of what works really well. But the list that they had were personality traits. You know what mean? They weren't
hey, if you could move around on stage a little more, you'd be better. Or hey, know, maybe work better on moving your microphone on your loud notes. And like, they weren't critiques and helpful. They were just personality traits that they had seen be successful in other women that they wanted you to be kind of thing. And so I think there's just a lot of losses on Young Alley on coming into a business like this and a town like this and being told who I was because at the end of the day, I don't know that a lot of people are familiar with being a product themselves.
But when it comes to this business, I'm the same exact thing as a bottle of lotion or a candle or a trinket. You know what I mean? Like I'm working for shelf placement and I'm paying for shelf placement and I'm trying to be the best product that I can be to get the shelf placement that I deserve. And I think there was just a lot of losses in, you know, trying to shape that product to be commercial. What it really isn't, it's actually a perfect product for so many people and certain types of people.
Allie colleen (01:01:27.209)
Not all people, know, just like all products work. So there were losses in that, even then I think as, as you know, I've worked through it, you can kind of see some wins in them, but they all center around the same thing. You know, just don't let people tell you who and what you are in this industry. It's just, it will never serve you and it will just, it'll age you a little bit, honestly, and it'll kind of take away from you. But I've been really lucky in this industry to set boundaries early with fans and
and do that kind of stuff. So I've been really lucky to not have too many really tough things. And as a child goes, I had the privilege and the misfortune of growing up with really, really successful parents in my industry, nonetheless any industry. And I've always been, I've always been something to somebody. I've always been a daughter my entire life.
of somebody, you know what mean? There's always been things around Ali's name that weren't as important as Ali, right? So Ali so-and-so's daughter or the daughter of so-and-so Ali. Like it was always, when you look at it grammatically, Ali is the adjective of my name and it's not my name and it's very, very harmful. It's very harmful for a young girl to not be anything but something to somebody. I would say it's been very harmful for a young boy, but I had all sisters growing up.
Kimberly Rapach (01:02:31.616)
Hmm. Yeah.
Allie colleen (01:02:52.102)
I have a brother now that has transitioned, but growing up we were all little baby girls. And it was very, very effective on us and who we were and who we thought we were and who we thought we could become by our first years of life being nothing but an adjective to somebody else. And that was really, really hard, but.
I mean, again, because it was how I was born, Allie wouldn't be Allie without any of those things. And I was very lucky to have three parents that didn't think we were just daughters, you know what mean, who encouraged us to be everything else and to go and to be things and also didn't let us fall into daughter routes. Like none of our professions, me or my siblings are because of our parents. Nothing that we have is because of our parents. And we know that and we worked really hard for it. My siblings and I have all had jobs since we were 14.
We've worked our butts off and we're very shameful of the privilege that we have. But with that said, we were very lucky to have parents that got us out of being daughters, that pushed us to be Taylor and Ali in August, you know, and what we are. So really grateful for the parents that I have. I have a little bit of a yucky taste towards, you know, the industry in which I was brought into and how I was, but I don't know that Ali would have done music if she didn't have such an obvious...
know, representation of this is possible. And not only is it possible, but like I had the example that changed culture. You know, I didn't just have a dad who was good at what he did or that would just happen to be an artist. I had a dad that changed country music. I had a dad that changed culture. I had kind of the biggest of the biggest. And that was just as big of a blessing as it was really, really hard for us.
Allie colleen (01:04:44.4)
Thank you for asking.
Kimberly Rapach (01:04:47.222)
Yeah, and I love that your parents, so it sounds like it was the outside forces in society, who's like, you're so-and-so's daughter. But your parents were like, no, you're Allie. Like, we know who we are, we can't help the public view, but like, behind the scenes at home in our safe space, you are Allie, and you can do whatever the eff you wanna do. Woo, there's a Goosebumps again.
Allie colleen (01:04:53.574)
Yes.
Allie colleen (01:05:11.364)
My parents came from nothing. Yeah, truth, truth, truth. My parents came from nothing and they worked their tails off to have the careers that they have, all three of them. And I don't think that my parents have a clue what it was like for us either. And that's how much it wasn't coming from them. You know what mean? I think it would be a shock to my parents that how much we endured and how much, you know, what would have.
Kimberly Rapach (01:05:16.34)
Yep.
Allie colleen (01:05:37.285)
what would happen because of who our parents were for other people. I remember my first spelling test, man, my first spelling test ever. You know, I spelt the words right. The kid next to me did not spell the words right. I was so stoked. I was so excited. I'd never gotten 100 on something before. You know what mean? I was so stoked. And I remember just celebrating with my classmates. I couldn't have been in first or second grade. And I remember celebrating with them. And three of them were like, you only got that because of who your dad is.
And part of me thought, bro, you spilt beans wrong. What are you talking about? But then the other part of me thought, you're probably right. Like, you're probably right. Like, I probably did, because like, are the chances that I would just do something right? Like, that was unheard of for me. And that was everything. If I made a soccer team, it was because of my parents. If I got a grade, it was because of my parents. If I could sing, it was because of my parents.
That's one that one's always bothered me because I have practiced since I was eight years old. I've sang at least 12 hours a week and I have worked my vocal the same way that a marathon runner would work their body. Like I have made my vocal what it is. I wasn't born being able to sing like this. I wasn't born being able to write songs like this. I wasn't born being able to perform like this. You know, like it's a craft that I've that I've really, really tried out and I did it by myself. I did it by myself.
in a barn on a little stage that my dad built me so I could go and practice by myself and not piss my siblings off all day long, because he decided to give us one room. So, you I did it by myself and I did a lot of it alone. You know, little Ali learned to perform by herself because she didn't want to go and emulate her dad and she didn't want to be told that she was just doing things because that's who so-and-so did it kind of thing. you know, I learned all of it on my own and to be told over and over again, oh, well, of course you're going to be a singer, like.
Kimberly Rapach (01:07:09.966)
you
Allie colleen (01:07:30.435)
Look at who her dad is. And I think the biggest one that kills me, and I still think about this girl all the time, at fifth grade you could like sing in choir or I went to a Baptist elementary school so we had chapel every Thursday. And sometimes they would just let students showcase talents at chapel and we could do a worship song by ourselves or something. And that's all I wanted to do. And I did it one day and I did so good and everybody was so stoked and no one in my class really knew that I sang yet. It was something that I kind of kept to myself because again,
Every time I brought it up, someone would bring up my parents, so we didn't talk about it a lot. And I was in the car line to get picked up that day, and I was with my friend. from what I remember, she was a really good singer, just as good as I was. And we were talking in the car pickup line, and she said, you sang today, that's so fun. When are you gonna sing next? And I said, I'm gonna sing for my whole life. I'm gonna sing forever. And I'm gonna have a job singing one day, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna sing, I'm not gonna do anything else. And she...
thought that that was the craziest idea ever and she was so excited. She was, can do that. I said, yeah. And again, that's why I'm so proud and excited to have had a parent who did this as a career because I don't think I would have had the mindset. I think I would have had the same mindset that she had where it was like, what do you mean? Like I've heard about firefighters and astronauts and dinosaurs, but I haven't heard about singers. Like, what do you mean? And I was like, no, I'm just going to sing. And her mom came in and she picked her up and she goes, you know, just taking her out. And she goes, mom.
Ali sang in chapel today and she goes, that's cool. And she goes, yeah, she's going to be a singer like forever. And I want to be a singer like forever. And her mom looks at her and she goes, Ali has famous parents. She's going to be a singer. You're not going to be a singer. And they left. And that girl and I grew up together. We talked about it a couple of other times, but you could tell, like from that day on, she never.
felt the way that she felt about it when her and I talked about it. Like she didn't light up anymore and she didn't think that she could be a singer. I think she's a nurse now and a fantastic nurse, but there's always parts of me that's like even an adult, you know, even an adult will look at a child and tell them that they can't or can do something because of the people around them. And I think that's also why I've been so hell-bent on being a singer.
Allie colleen (01:09:48.063)
since I was a kid was because I did share it to adults and I did have adults tell me that there was only one way that that was ever gonna happen. And people are so tough on me now as an adult. People are so tough on me for not taking any help from my family at all. And they always tell me that I could probably be farther along if I did and all of these things. And they're so tough on me, but they don't understand. I'm still trying to prove to fifth grade Allie that she can be a singer.
And I've never been anything other than a singer. Like what am I talking about? Like I am a singer. Someone mailed me a cardboard cutout of myself yesterday. I don't even know who it was. They sent me two of them. I have two huge cardboard cutouts of myself that are Instagram pictures. They weren't even from an event. Someone just found them and blew them up and mailed them to me at my house, which is creepy. But I am a singer. I'm a fantastic singer. So it's...
So dumb. I just anybody out there, if anyone's ever told you something you can't be, go be it today because you can be it. It's it's it's crazy. And if you got little babies out there, I'm I don't. So I can't critique your parenting. But if you got little babies out there, there's not a single thing that they can't do. I don't care what they look like. I don't care what your bank looks like. I don't care what country you come from. There's just not a single thing that they can't do.
And so now I just care about little babies doing whatever the hell they want to do.
Kimberly Rapach (01:11:24.384)
Is it too soon to say I love you?
Allie colleen (01:11:28.111)
Not if you mean it.
Kimberly Rapach (01:11:31.241)
god do I mean it.
Allie colleen (01:11:33.744)
I love you. I love your platform. Oh, oh, I have narcolepsy. We'd all be asleep at the same time. Nothing would get done. Imagine.
Kimberly Rapach (01:11:34.942)
The world needs more people like you, Allie. Thank you.
Kimberly Rapach (01:11:45.55)
I love your journey.
Allie colleen (01:11:54.023)
Thank you.
Kimberly Rapach (01:11:54.978)
Now I love your journey and I love your willingness to share your experience. I love how you are fighting for yourself.
and how you're fighting for fifth grade alley. And, you know, that's, that's everything like what you just described and what you're doing is essentially what I do as a coach, as a nervous system strategist, taking those early learned experiences are lived experiences, understanding how is that showing up in the world today when I'm in my thirties or my fifties or my seventies, and how do I go back and untether and meet little fifth grades, my
Allie colleen (01:12:28.797)
Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (01:12:33.944)
little fifth grade self and be the person that she needed at that time. Even though you had wonderful parents, there were a lot of other influences that, you we live in a, you know, a world, especially if you're in a public world, but to be able to then carry forward and go for forever, I am committed to this. And as you know, it just sounds to me like you're integrating that level of work.
Allie colleen (01:12:39.624)
Mm-hmm.
Allie colleen (01:12:47.64)
Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (01:12:59.446)
on behalf of yourself and that's literally what the world needs to be doing. Like I'm not blowing smoke. Like that's literally what we need to do. We need to understand how those early experiences have shaped us and how they start to come out sideways, like believing social media. Of course you were believing social media because you were trained at eight years old to not trust yourself. And so, but you've been doing that work and it is so obvious. It's funny when you said I don't communicate
Allie colleen (01:13:13.594)
Thank
Allie colleen (01:13:21.678)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kimberly Rapach (01:13:29.2)
because I'm like, wait, what? But it's obvious you've been doing the work and you've been just healing those layers of your nervous system that were conditioned so early. And that's what makes you show up so beautifully and makes you an even more incredible artist.
And it's just, it's beautiful. love it. I love your journey. And I just want to say one more thing. The, like you being you and you telling people to be themselves, literally, I think it's Brene Brown that says it, but like the world requires you to be authentically you. Like it requires that of us and anybody telling you to be different. Just remember they are not free. They're not free. If you need to tell somebody else what to wear, how to eat,
how to what to drive, where to live, how to talk, like you are not free and I'm not interested in your opinion.
Allie colleen (01:14:21.905)
you
Allie colleen (01:14:26.092)
It took me a long time to learn that it took me a long time to learn that people who are critiquing outwardly critique inwardly I always thought for the longest time that they obviously had it figured out They would have to want to talk to me like that. You better have it figured out That's crazy and it took me a really long time to learn that people were trying to the holes and other people that they had in themselves That was really encouraging and it also took away the the bite of it you know now when someone tells me to lose weight or
to look away or to sing a certain way. It's just, have, some days I still get mad and some days I'll still put a big old F you out there. But most days it's like, this person's a little miserable. That stinks. I'm not. Have a good day. You know, I love these pants. Have a good one. Enjoy yourselves, whatever. So that has been such a tool. And then like, like you said, understanding that how we feel
Kimberly Rapach (01:15:09.454)
True.
Allie colleen (01:15:23.032)
Because of not always but I would I would be bold to say that a lot of the ways, you know that we feel as adults We weren't born feeling that way, you know, and I think when we get that confused and you think okay I was born with so like for me like I'm you know I have I'm on the autism spectrum and then I have really bad depression and I have all these things and it's like you think that if you want to change that stuff you're fighting biology and you're not
You're fighting a conditioning that happened to you when you were really young at a space where you weren't protected enough by your own brain to say, get that thought out of here, that was not helpful. You know what I mean? Like you were just whispered to as a child in some way or another, whether it was through stimulant or through speech or whatever. And like you don't have like you're not fighting biology. You know what I mean? You're just fighting a feeling or an expectation or you know, whatever. That was such a big tool for me to learn.
Because I thought Allie was born a type of way and there are things about her I don't like and I need to change them and I have to change Allie. It's like, no, I think I just need to understand Allie and then we can maybe just let this go. And that was really, really helpful for me. So I'm glad that you said that in the way that you did because I think that so many people think that they have to fight their own biology when really you're just fighting something that some unregulated person one day said to you. That's not, you can do that. That's doable.
very doable.
Allie colleen (01:16:56.8)
I love you too.
Kimberly Rapach (01:16:57.038)
Yeah, and when you live in a world or work in an industry where it's still unregulated people, still dysregulated people telling you to be different, right? It's more of the same. when you learn those early conditionings and you are committed to self-love, radical self-acceptance,
then those comments eventually start to literally be slippery and just roll right off of you. It's because you have so much freaking clarity. You have so much clarity and you're like, that's so not mine. Like, mine. don't even receive it.
Allie colleen (01:17:26.421)
Yeah.
Allie colleen (01:17:33.224)
Yeah, and it is weird. is.
It's strange to at one point have thought that that was just truth, you know? And I think it's, I think that's the biggest thing for me was it was like, just because someone thinks this about you, like if someone thinks you're too heavy, nothing about that equates to you being too heavy or too small or too strong or too tattooed or too loud, you know? It was just a thought that somebody had and they did unfortunately decide to share it, but whatever.
It's really empowering to get to that place. And for anyone too who gets to that place and then some days you still forget. You know, I really pride myself on being really tough and indestructible and having come all this way that like your opinion is not gonna hurt my feelings. Some Tuesdays your opinion really, really, really hurts my feelings. Some days your opinion keeps me in bed for two days straight. You know?
And so for anyone out there who goes in between that yin and yang, that's also okay. You know? It's also okay to remember that sometimes people are assholes. And like some things you don't have to regulate around. Some things you can be mad. You know, if someone's coming into your space and telling you who you are, it also is appropriate sometimes to be mad. It's not appropriate to be hateful or physical, I don't think, in my personal life, but it is okay, you know, to be frustrated sometimes and to not be hard all of the time.
I feel like when I have days where the comments get to me and the social media gets to me, I feel like I've backslid into some kind of old thinking that I used to have. But at the end of the day, I'm just a person who got punched one too many times reading my DMs at 10.30 in the morning on a Tuesday. Don't do that.
Kimberly Rapach (01:19:21.634)
You know, at the beginning of this conversation, Ali, you were talking about the industry and, you know, feeling like, okay, if I come up to that wall, I don't know what to do about it. Like, what do I do? And I just want to tell you, Ali Colleen, you are doing it.
the way that you are doing life, the way you are evolving, the way you are taking care of yourself, the way you're open to learning and see, I could just hear the way you hear different perspectives. Like this is it. It's just not dressed up very glamorously, but you're doing it. Like you're literally doing it.
Allie colleen (01:19:37.688)
well.
Allie colleen (01:19:49.137)
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. That's really, really nice to hear and really reassuring to hear because I think most days we just feel crazy. You know, we just always feel so crazy and then you have to wonder what week of your cycle you're on and if how you feel is even how you feel. I just feel crazy a lot. So thank you for that.
Kimberly Rapach (01:20:14.36)
Yeah, well, I don't use the word crazy, so I use the word dysregulated. Maybe you get dysregulated, but you're not crazy. And we get dysregulated. You're going to get one.
Allie colleen (01:20:19.121)
OOF
Allie colleen (01:20:22.575)
get dysregulated as a tramp stamp.
Just like a really cute, like a really cute font bag there. Just, she dysregulated. I want that so bad.
Kimberly Rapach (01:20:36.29)
Ironically dysregulated
Allie colleen (01:20:40.665)
You know my favorite tattoo is a bandaid on my knee.
I have a tattoo of a bandaid on my knee, because you can't hurt her. She's fine. I've already been hurt. That's my bandaid. And that's my little dysregulated. I don't know what knee it's on. Yeah. I have a little bandaid. That's my dysregulated tattoo. But I still think it'd be cool to tramp stamp.
Kimberly Rapach (01:20:46.188)
Really?
Kimberly Rapach (01:21:01.324)
That's cool.
Kimberly Rapach (01:21:05.154)
That is so cool. I love it. I love it. So I also got to meet Bev. Bev was a guest on the podcast. It hasn't aired yet. But I got to meet Bev. She's amazing. I love her. So thank you for introducing me. Yeah, yeah.
Allie colleen (01:21:13.103)
Okay.
Allie colleen (01:21:29.295)
knew that! I wanna watch Bev's podcast.
Kimberly Rapach (01:21:34.67)
I'm gonna put both of your episodes out back to back. It's gonna take a minute, but I'm gonna put hers out and then yours. But yeah, she doesn't do a lot. And so was so honored that she came on as a guest. And it really meant a lot and I'm excited. She's a really cool person. Thank you for introducing me to her. And she told me a little bit about what you have coming up, but do you want people to know what you have coming up?
Allie colleen (01:22:01.037)
Yeah, we don't have like dates or anything specific on any of the new stuff that's coming out. So how many dates to give you guys? But we have four, we four new songs in the docket. It's ready to go. So we've got new music coming out all year kind of thing. This isn't really something for anyone to go to or celebrate with me. But if we feel like celebrating me sometime today, I got my dream little gig this year. I have been trying to, I really wanted to go to the military growing up. I just felt like service was something that
It was something that we should all do. And I'm really glad as an adult that that looked a lot different in my life. I have a brain disorder where they really wouldn't let me do anything other than like an office job. And I thought, I'm bigger than that. I can do more than that for our country. So I never went, but I've been trying to get on a base camp tour ever since I started doing music. It's where you get to go to these base camps and you get to perform for men and women who just haven't been home in a long time and just give them a party. So I get to celebrate our country's 250th.
year of freedom in Cuba, which seems like a dicey place right now, but we're not gonna worry about it. And I get to go play for 12 days in Cuba for men and women of our service military and celebrate the 4th of July with them. So I'm very proud of that and I'm very excited. So if you know anybody who's stationed in Guantanamo Bay, let them know that we're bringing a party. So I'm really excited about that.
But yeah, you can follow along with us anywhere. Ali Colleen Music Instagram, AliColleenMusic.com. We have a tour tab that's always updated where we travel and where we're coming and all of that stuff. And we'll have the dates for the new music up there when we know. So just follow along with me you guys if you don't mind and I would really appreciate it. But otherwise just thank you for the time that you have given to listen to both me and Kim and thank you for following this platform.
Kimberly Rapach (01:24:01.142)
You
And she out.
Come back, Ellie.
Kimberly Rapach (01:25:19.406)
you
Allie colleen (01:25:26.631)
no!
Kimberly Rapach (01:25:31.052)
I was like, and she's out. It was like mic drop.
Allie colleen (01:25:31.814)
I know, I have no idea what happened. My phone just freaked out. It just kept saying low storage. And I thought, I don't know why my storage matters. I don't know.
Kimberly Rapach (01:25:44.958)
That's funny. I was like, and that's it. That's it, folks.
Allie colleen (01:25:47.654)
And that's a wrap, that's her quickin' it out.
Kimberly Rapach (01:25:53.262)
That's awesome. Well, I I think that was a great ending. All I wanted to say was congratulations on the military tour in Cuba. That's amazing. I'm so happy I'm celebrating with you. Where can people, for people going to Nashville, where can they see you play?
Allie colleen (01:26:01.913)
Ugh.
Allie colleen (01:26:05.168)
Thank you! I'm so excited.
Allie colleen (01:26:13.697)
Yeah, so I play once a week usually on Tuesdays downtown, but with our travel schedule as we're getting closer to summer, that's always going to be different. So check out the tour tab online on aliquilinemusic.com. have any of my dates are up and posted. And then if you come into town and you don't know what's going on, you can always message me on Instagram. I probably won't see it if you message me on Facebook or anything like that, but I'll see it if you guys message me on Instagram and I'll let you know where I'm at.
Kimberly Rapach (01:26:41.61)
Awesome, awesome. And then, are you gonna be at Porter's Call? The evening of stories in, it's probably August or September, I just got the email. I didn't even look at the date, I just emailed back and said, let me volunteer.
Allie colleen (01:26:53.917)
I haven't listed a date either. Beth, I haven't been in in a minute and Beth actually texted me yesterday, checking it on me, and I wanted to ask her if there's any way that I can get involved in anything like that. But I would love to. If we're not on the road, I'll be there for sure, because I really enjoyed last year. I thought it was very cool. And I would like to go back. I would like to see it again.
Kimberly Rapach (01:27:15.192)
Yeah, it's a beautiful event. And then I just hope I get to see you in person the next time I'm in Nashville.
Allie colleen (01:27:19.874)
I I know, I hope that you find me when you come into town. Let me know and then I would like to, hopefully we can make one of the things work. But let me know when you're coming into Nashville. I might be playing in a bar somewhere. Yes, that's the word.