Something Shiny: ADHD!

Ever needed extra time, extra support, or a different way of doing something and immediately thought, “Wait… is this cheating?”

Yeah. That feeling is way more common than you think.

This week, David and Isabelle are back on stage at the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for the second part of their live conversation with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance. Jesse has been part of this community for years as a mentor, leader, and now the person helping guide the organization forward. The Leadership Summit is where Neurodiversity Alliance mentors and student leaders from across the country gather for training, storytelling, and connection. It’s a room full of neurodivergent students learning how to talk about their brains with confidence—and how to help younger kids do the same.

In this part of the live conversation, Safia Mohammed, a Brooklyn-based nursing student and Neurodiversity Alliance Student Ambassador who’s been part of the community for several years, joins the conversation. She shares her story about something a lot of neurodivergent people wrestle with: the uncomfortable feeling that needing support somehow means you're doing something wrong.
Safia talks about her experience first received an IEP (Individualized Education Program) in elementary school. At the time, it felt confusing. She was being pulled out of class for extra help and didn’t really understand why. And like a lot of neurodivergent kids, she started wondering something was wrong with her. David and Isabelle unpack why moments like that are so common in the neurodivergent experience, from the stigma around accommodations to the deeply ingrained belief that success only counts if it’s hard.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for help because you didn’t want to feel like you were getting an advantage, this conversation might shift how you think about support and what it’s actually there to do.

Here's what's coming your way:
  • Safia’s story of receiving an IEP and why it felt confusing when she was younger
  • The moment that changed how she understood accommodations
  • Why so many neurodivergent people feel shame around getting support
  • How stigma around accommodations keeps people from advocating for what they need
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Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:

IEP (Individualized Education Program): A formal education plan used in U.S. schools to provide accommodations and support for students with learning differences or disabilities. These supports can include extra time on tests, alternative learning environments, or additional instructional support designed to help students demonstrate what they actually know.

Accommodations: Adjustments made in school or work environments that allow people with learning differences or disabilities to access the same opportunities as others. Examples include extended time on exams, quieter testing environments, or different ways of presenting information.

Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included.

OI: A term used by members of the Neurodiversity Alliance community to refer to the organization’s annual leadership summit where mentors and student leaders gather for training and connection.

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💬 Have you ever had a moment where getting support changed how you saw your abilities? Tell us your story in the comments on Spotify.

🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

What is Something Shiny: ADHD!?

How many times have you tried to understand ADHD...and were left feeling more misunderstood? We get it and we're here to help you build a shiny new relationship with ADHD. We are two therapists (David Kessler & Isabelle Richards) who not only work with people with ADHD, but we also have ADHD ourselves and have been where you are. Every other week on Something Shiny, you'll hear (real) vulnerable conversations, truth bombs from the world of psychology, and have WHOA moments that leave you feeling seen, understood, and...dare we say...knowing you are something shiny, just as you are.

Something Shiny: ADHD
Why Getting Help With ADHD Can Feel So Complicated
Drop Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2026

*this episode transcription was auto-generated and might contain errors

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ISABELLE RICHARDS: [00:00:00] Hello. I'm Isabelle. She, her, hers,

DAVID KESSLER: and I'm David. He, him, his,

ISABELLE RICHARDS: and we're two therapists with A DHD, who sit down to have some chats about A DHD. We can promise we'll stay on topic or be professional or even remotely mature, but we can promise that you'll end up looking at you or your loved one's, beautiful neurodivergent brain in a shiny new way.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: This is not a therapy session. This is something shiny.

DAVID KESSLER: I love it. Can this just be the intro of you saying that and me freaking out about how amazing it is?

ISABELLE RICHARDS: So without further ado, welcome to something shiny.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: All right, so before we get started, I wanna pause and set the scene, David and I recording this episode live in front of the participants, leaders and members of the Neurodiversity Alliance Summit in Denver. [00:01:00] They're doing amazing work where they organize students to help be near peer mentors to younger students with similar learning differences, teaching them how they can tell their stories, advocate for their needs, and get the supports that they deserve.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: It's just a brilliant organization. So we're on stage. There's hundreds of people in the audience and with about, I wanna say like less. Less than 10 minutes to go. There was a traffic kerfuffle and our original guest couldn't make it, and we needed someone to fill, fill a spot. And so Jesse Sanchez, who is the president of the Neurodiversity Alliance, who we spoke to in the last episode, amazing conversation.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Please go and listen. Um, he and others kind of went like, Hey, Safi is the person to talk to. And I'm not joking when I say. We have never said hi. We didn't get a chance to talk. You are hearing us interact for the first real time on a [00:02:00] stage recording a live podcast. So, oh my gosh. Is Safi not just amazing just for that?

ISABELLE RICHARDS: I think so, but on top of it, she's also a brilliant student who is studying nursing and who has been a part of the Neurodiversity Alliance for several years, and her story is so. Relatable. So with a lot of hearty gratitude to Safi for stepping in and like nailing it honestly. Here is this episode.

DAVID KESSLER: So, have you ever been on a podcast before?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I'm sorry. I'm nervous. Every podcast,

DAVID KESSLER: oh my god. Okay,

DAVID KESSLER: you got this girl.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Welcome.

DAVID KESSLER: You

DAVID KESSLER: got

DAVID KESSLER: it. You are. This is where like, I think a DHD stuff. I'm, I'm gonna talk about you for a second and give you a minute if that's okay.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Go ahead.

DAVID KESSLER: No one knows what you did to get on the stage and what happened to you before you got on the stage, and I'd like to give a little bit of, like, honor to that, if that's okay.

DAVID KESSLER: We, we were gonna have someone else come up here. And there was some major time delays that were kind of [00:03:00] coming in and literally somebody grabbed you and said, have you wanna be on a podcast? And you said, what? And then they ran up to me. They're like, this is okay.

DAVID KESSLER: Also, I just have to say that like. Safi is so rad.

DAVID KESSLER: This is so like her. She's always so down to help and tell her story. It's true because we use her as a speaking ambassador all the time.

DAVID KESSLER: Safi is literally going, I've never been on a podcast before. This is

DAVID KESSLER: so rad.

DAVID KESSLER: Have you met me before? Safi?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I remember seeing you at the last oi, but I don't think I've like spoken to you.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: This

DAVID KESSLER: is like the, like the, the most we've had, right?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: And so like to get on stage in front of hundreds of people, and that's what other people can't see. To talk about yourself without knowing the kind of questions we're gonna ask. That is courage.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: You are modeling things

ISABELLE RICHARDS: for people.

DAVID KESSLER: Yeah. And I'm like, I'm so humbled that you're here and, and, and maybe I could like maybe throw something at you and you could say like, I don't want to answer that.

DAVID KESSLER: If you want, you could like do whatever you want. But what, what have you [00:04:00] gotten from the Neurodivergent Alliance or being a part of Eye to Eye or any faction of like LD experiencing or neurodivergent experiencing, like, what's happened from your exposure to this stuff?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: That's such a good question.

DAVID KESSLER: Oh, thank you.

DAVID KESSLER: I'll take that to the pay. Sure.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So being part of the, um, ND Alliance has really changed my life because I, when I was in elementary school, I was given an IEP and so like, you know, like I would be taken out of the classroom almost like every week, and it would just be me and then like maybe like a kindergartner.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So it's just like me, the kindergartner and like the, um. I think it was like occupational therapy, I'm pretty sure. And so like everyone would like look at me when I'm leaving the classroom and then when I come, when I would come back, they're like, so what'd you do? I was like, oh, I played board games. And so like everyone, so everyone's looking at me.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: They're like, so you left the, you left your classwork to go play board games. So I'm like, yeah, that's basically what it is. And so, but like [00:05:00] I was so young to realize it's like to like see how my brain is and how I think. And so one time like. I was doing an exam and so I was the last person to finish.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Everyone was able to leave, go to lunch, and I was like the last person just sitting down I'm, and like, I kid you not, I was probably like on the second page of my exam and so my teacher, she was like, Safi, can I talk to you? And I'm like. Oh my goodness. Like, you know, when the teacher tells you they wanna talk to you, it's, it's most likely never good.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So, so I was like, sure. And so she took the paper and she was like, I wanna, uh, I wanna meet with your parents. And so I'm like, oh God, you're gonna call mom and dad.

DAVID KESSLER: I just grabbed my mic, like close my curls that the mom and dad is a okay. Sorry.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So I'm like, so why'd you, why do you need to call them? Like, you can talk to me?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: And so they're like, no. Like, I wanna have a meeting with you and your parents. And so I'm like, okay, so mom and dad, like, you know, they took off of work and then [00:06:00] they met with my teacher. Wait, I, I don't know if I mentioned this was like in first grade or second grade. I forgot to mention that. I'm sorry.

DAVID KESSLER: Oh, so

SAFIA MOHAMMED: you're little? Yeah. I'm like, they're bringing mom

DAVID KESSLER: and dad in. You're little.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah. I'm tiny.

DAVID KESSLER: Oh, extra.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Oh my gosh. Sorry. That's more pearl clutching my whole body. Just 10 up. Okay. Sorry.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So like, so. It's like in an empty classroom. The teacher, my parents and I, so I'm like staring at my teacher. I'm like, so is this like, in my head I'm like, is this parent-teacher conferences?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Because like, that's like a long time away. That's like a long time away. And so my, my teacher was like, so I noticed that Safi is having some trouble keeping up with the class, and so I'm like. I'm glad you realized that because I realized it too. So like, you know, my teacher was like going over my grades and I'm gonna be honest with you, in elementary school, I wasn't getting like the best grades at all.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: And so they gave me the IUP and so like my parents really weren't familiar what it was like. Uh, like what it was like for a child to have a learning difference, because I have an older [00:07:00] sister and, you know, she, she didn't have a learning difference, so it was like a complete turnaround. And so like, you know, my parents were thankfully very supportive and they were like, like making sure I was accommodated to, for me to be successful in school.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So then I was given the same test. Like the same test. And so they're like, you're gonna redo it, but now you have accommodations. And so I'm, once again, I'm young, I'm small, I'm like, I don't know what accommodations is. So like, I'm put into an empty classroom. So it's just like me and the teacher alone and the, the clock on the wall.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So I'm just like, okay, this is really nerve wracking. Like the teacher's just looking at me. I don't like, like I don't like this at all. But I realized normally like it would, like, the test would be like 30 minutes, but I was given a full hour. And so I'm just like, oh my God, wait, this is really good. And thankfully I finished the test and like I got a 95 on it.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So it was amazing. [00:08:00]

DAVID KESSLER: Amazing.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: And so like, I was like, I was really proud of myself 'cause like I finally, like, I put in the work and like I was given the accommodations and everything I needed. And so I was just really excited and I would, I, like, I was like, once again, I was small, so like I realized that like when I was receiving accommodations it was like extra help for me, for me to be great.

DAVID KESSLER: I love that story around accommodations because it's, it's this difference maker. It's like, it's a level, it's a level playing field. And I used to, I don't know about you, but like. There, was there ever a point in your ti in time for you where you, you thought accommodations were cheating? Does that make sense to anyone?

DAVID KESSLER: Yes. Okay. Thank you. Someone said yes,

ISABELLE RICHARDS: yes, yes. We see lot. Okay. Just for listeners, a sea of nods, a sea of nods,

DAVID KESSLER: and like at first grade, like of course you would, it's like, oh, this just feels better. Like it, it wouldn't feel like someone was like cheating or you were doing anything wrong, right. It. There's this moment [00:09:00] though where now I'm like, I'm like an older person and I'm consuming research and I'm looking at like LD stuff and I gotta say something and I want, did you know that they've tested extended time and they gave extended time to neurotypical people and neurodivergent people and did you know extended time did not help neurotypical people

SAFIA MOHAMMED: really?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I never knew that

DAVID KESSLER: extended time helped them double think like double second guess themselves. They thought that they held a day they wouldn't have to study as much. Whereas like the anxiety or the way that we have to process takes more time. We're not second or third guessing ourselves. We need that extra time as the accommodation, as a level playing field.

DAVID KESSLER: And so when you're like, so I'm gonna fast forward for a second. First grade, this experience, what was it like coming here and like meeting with other ND people when you look back at your life? Did it? Did it like give it a different flavor?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So when I first attended my first oi, it was definitely a game changer.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I realized that I'm not alone. There's a whole bunch of endy [00:10:00] people, like no matter what your age is like, and I, and I think that's really cool. I can, I like, I've connected with so many people, no matter, like this is my third oi. So like I've connected with so many people and I think it's so great. My first oi I was.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So nervous because I was sent an email. I was like, and they were like, oh, hey, I forgot who sent it. I'm sorry, but like, I forgot who sent it. And so they were like, Hey, so we would love for you to come to our oi. Um, you know, it's like

DAVID KESSLER: also for the audience, the, the OI was the acronym we used to use for our national summit.

DAVID KESSLER: Because we used to, we called the organizing. We was the Organizing Organizing Institute. Institute, Institute. And now

DAVID KESSLER: it is the National Summit.

DAVID KESSLER: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Keep going.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Okay, now I know that. I'm sorry. No, that's fine. Okay. So, um, so they were like, can you come to the National Summit? And I was like, sure.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Listen, I've never been to Colorado. I, like, I, I'm just like, you know what, it's, it is for a plane ride. Let's see what happens. And everything like that.

DAVID KESSLER: Amazing.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: And so I land and I, and so [00:11:00] I'm, I'm seeing all these people and so I'm like. Like it takes, like, it doesn't really take a lot for me to like meet new people.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I'm just like, I would just woke up to you and be like, Hey, what's your name? Like, what's up? Not like that, but like more, like more, more nicer. And so I remember I met my best friend Kayla over there. Yes.

DAVID KESSLER: Like in, in the, in the, in the summit. In one of the summits? Yeah. Oh, what?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: Oh, cool.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: Was she also a, a New Yorker, like you?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: She lives in Jersey.

DAVID KESSLER: Oh, okay.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah. So she was like, so she actually

DAVID KESSLER: kind of

SAFIA MOHAMMED: brought her, she was like pretty close. Oh, okay. Yeah. And so like, I remember like, once again, I forgot who the person was, but they were like, I want you to meet Kayla. So I'm like, okay, new person, new friend, let's go. And so I met Kayla and like her and I immediately clicked.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Immediately, like we, we were just inseparable. Inseparable from that day. Like I, I was texting her earlier today, I'm like. Like, I [00:12:00] wish that she was here today, but you know, she's doing great opportunities for her college. But like I was telling her like I missed her and everything like that. But I feel like when I was, when I was hearing about Kayla's story, I'm like, wow.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So there's like people who was like learning differences and it's not just like, oh, you have extra time on exams. It's like, it is like a whole. Spectrum and I think it's really cool. And I'm always so down to learn about new learning differences. And I'm always like open to hear everyone's stories. 'cause it, it's, it's, everything's different.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: It's never, you never hear the same story and I think that's so fantastic.

DAVID KESSLER: You're saying you have found value and worth in learning differences from the exposure of these conferences?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Yeah. Oh yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: I That doesn't, I just wanna say that doesn't happen anywhere else in the world. Like period.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Yeah, for real.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Like I've been to a lot of conferences. Most of, I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to jump in, jump in, but most of the time it's not that, most of the time it's like, oh, okay, we're almost done.

DAVID KESSLER: There's this, like what you're getting at is [00:13:00] like what it feels like when the world is accommodating you.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: When you don't have to like push through or mask to get your needs met, it's like, that's what this kind of feels like.

DAVID KESSLER: And you meet friends and you're like, we have more in common than you've ever realized because like, we've had such interesting experiences together.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Mm-hmm. Wait, can I share like a really quick story?

DAVID KESSLER: Yes. You could interrupt and say whatever you want.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Okay. So like, I still don't forgive my professor for this at all, but I, I like reported him.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: What's

DAVID KESSLER: the professor's name?

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Yes. So we'll include it in the show notes

SAFIA MOHAMMED: too. So I'm not gonna put him on blast. Um, as much as I want, so I'm not gonna do it. But, um, so it was for my statistic class 'cause it was one of my, uh, prerequisites for my, I'm, oh, by the way, I'm majoring in nursing, so I'm gonna be your future nurse first.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Amazing.

DAVID KESSLER: You're gonna be, you're gonna be like the summit nurse, like with, with Kelvin.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I would love that. Yeah. I would love that so much. So, um, you know, I was, I missed a Texas class and math was like, was never my strong suit at all. Because, you know, they, oops. So like, [00:14:00] so like, they have like, you know, they added like letters and with numbers and everything.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So I'm just like, what are we doing? And so it was there, it was like our midterm. And so he w So he called me to his office. I'm like, oh gosh, here we go again. And so he said, Safi, like I noticed that there's a dip in your grade. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, I'm doing my homework, I'm doing your quizzes, everything, but it's just the exams that's just really terrible.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: And so I was like, listen, I have a com. I I have learning accommodations. I, um, you know, receive extra time on tests and everything. And so he was like, okay, yeah, I know that. I know that, but you should actually receive, you should try finding the help you need.

DAVID KESSLER: What? What,

SAFIA MOHAMMED: yeah. So like, it was just a moment of silence.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: So I'm just, I'm, I'm looking at my professor, so I'm like, like I, I don't know what to do. 'cause I'm just like, I've never heard, um, a professor or a teacher tell me that, ever. So I'm like, in my head, I'm like, [00:15:00] what? Like, what do you mean by that? Like, I, yes, I'm receiving the help I need, I'm getting, um, extra time on exams and so.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Like from that day on, like I was just so angry with him, but I, like, I pushed through, so I was like, you know what, let me just take his final and just call it a day. But I just feel like no student should have to be put in a situation where there's, um, teacher or professor has tells them they have to find the help that they need.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Like it is their job to help you. And the fact that you have a teacher or a professor telling you something that's gonna, that's bringing you down. It's unacceptable.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I'm, I can't, I'm gesticulating wildly. This is Infu. Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, you said it so beautifully. It's, it's that, it's like, well, how about we flip and reverse that very statement.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: That is the resource. The resource is another human being going, Hey, how can I be of help? How can I become a resource for you? How can [00:16:00] I meet you at least halfway, if not more than halfway. Mm-hmm. I'm so sorry that that

DAVID KESSLER: happened. I almost like to, to like piggyback on that. It's almost like if I was like a near period mentor with you in the room, at that moment, I would've been, I almost wanna say like to the teacher, like, how about you need to figure out how.

DAVID KESSLER: What help you need to learn how to teach me effectively.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: It's is. I love the fact that the three of us, like you say that and the three of us are like ready to fight

DAVID KESSLER: because the other thing that I wanna comment is we see this often in society that people get scapegoated for needing more attention, and I don't think it's fair, especially when you know what you need.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Yeah. Like literally you're saying what you need. How about you believe me?

DAVID KESSLER: Mm-hmm.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Or believe us. Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: So, so we open up the space time portal.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Mm-hmm.

DAVID KESSLER: I'm gonna push you in, but in a nice way. Like you want to go in and like I'm helping you. It's not like an angry push.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: You got consensual.

DAVID KESSLER: It's consensual form and you're flying through space [00:17:00] and time. We'll, we'll put you like, this is interesting 'cause first grade we'll put you like Yeah.

DAVID KESSLER: 9, 9 10. Like right around fourth, fifth grade. You could talk to yourself in fourth or fifth grade. You only have 30 seconds, but you can, like everything you've learned right now into life, what would you go back and tell yourself?

SAFIA MOHAMMED: Be the person you wanna be by advocating for yourself. Hmm.

DAVID KESSLER: Use your voice

SAFIA MOHAMMED: because when I was, when I, when I was little, like, I would never talk, I would never speak up.

SAFIA MOHAMMED: I would never, ever speak up. But like I realized, you know, be like being part of what the and the Alliance had has always told me, advocacy is so important. Speak up for yourself because when you don't speak up for yourself, there will be no change.

DAVID KESSLER: Amazing. Mm, amazing. Oh, you just did great, by the way. Did

DAVID KESSLER: so good.

DAVID KESSLER: That was

DAVID KESSLER: amazing.

DAVID KESSLER: Thank you so much for listening. If you ever have that thought where you think, Hey, I have nothing, stop.

DAVID KESSLER: Remember, you're [00:18:00] so something's shiny.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: That's right. Just as you are. If you like what you heard and you want to hear more free episodes of this podcast, please subscribe, rate and review anywhere you listen to podcasts or on Instagram as something shiny podcast, and if you're looking for more information, useful links, definitions, visuals, everything we can think of and more is on our website at.

ISABELLE RICHARDS: Something shiny podcast.com and it's all free. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you in two weeks.