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Greetings, Carl here.
This podcast is super simple, it's me wandering through the world noticing things about how to align my use of capital (time and money) with what is actually important to me.
-Carl
Greetings. This is Carl, and, of course, you're listening to behavior up radio. I wanted to share a quick experience that a friend of mine had in having a conversation with his spouse of just double checking the number right now. I wanna say 15 years. Yeah.
Carl:15 years. Spouse of 15 years. So my friend's a financial planner. Really, really good one. Has a great relationship with his wife.
Carl:They talk all the time. And they went out on a date recently, and they had listened to my 50 Fires podcast. If you haven't listened to it, I think you would enjoy it. This is not a I mean, it's not a pitch. I'm just telling you.
Carl:50 fires. You can find it anywhere podcasts are played. And it's a podcast about money and meaning. And my goal there is just to have really meaningful conversations, like the kind you would have sitting around a fire or in a cozy coffee shop with a friend about what money really means to us. And one of the questions I've I often ask, in fact, I often start with it, is what's your earliest memory of money?
Carl:And it's been, like, unbelievable, the stories that I've heard. In fact, I did an episode with my wife, and we've been married 25 years. And what I learned from that question and the follow-up questions was crazy to me, like, that I didn't know. I learned stuff I didn't know from my best friend, 25 years. That's wild.
Carl:And that question has been so impactful for so many of the conversations at 50 fires. So my friend decides to have this conversation. He's out on a date with his wife of 15 years, and he asks, what's your earliest memory of money? He said the result was, and this is the quote, unbelievable. It led to an hour long conversation about money, not tactical money, which I think is really important.
Carl:We're not talking about budgeting and spreadsheets and apps and calculators here. Not tactical money, but much broader. It led to stories about her childhood that I didn't know. You know, I had some sense of where they were socioeconomically, but I I I really had no idea of the extent of it. And he shares this really touching story that his wife shared, which was just just remarkable around the way his wife learned what her socioeconomic class was.
Carl:It's what another one of my favorite questions is after, you know, what's your earliest memory of money? Another one of my favorite questions is what socioeconomic class were you in in junior high? Because, you know, junior high is that time where we all have so much angst about our school experience. What socioeconomic class were you in? What I'm sort of getting out is, like, were you one of the rich kids or one of the poor kids or kind of in the middle?
Carl:And again, story's just amazing. And one of the conversate part of the conversation my friend had with his wife, again, like really thoughtful financial planner, married for 15 years. They talk all of the time. I know them really well. And so this kind of comes as a surprise, and it's not a surprise at all because it just happened to me with 25 years.
Carl:One of the part of the conversation was around how his wife found out what socioeconomic class she was in. And he he finished this note he sent me with. It was an an amazing conversation. Yeah. It was an amazing conversation.
Carl:It meant to attend us to ask these questions even to someone who I arguably know better than anyone else in the world is how he finished his note to me. And I would echo that. Like, I I believe my wife knows me better than anyone. I believe I know her. I, yeah, I'm positive.
Carl:I know her better than anyone in the world. And I learned stuff I didn't know in my conversation with her that we did, you know, as a podcast episode. So here, the reason I wanted to record this was just try this. It's so simple I was gonna say easy it's not necessarily easy but it's so simple The next time you're on a walk or on a road trip with your spouse or partner or child In fact, I'm recording this on the day, just a couple of hours before I'm going to record my interview with my oldest daughter for the 50 fires podcast, which will come out in a couple of weeks. So spouse, partner, child, parent, friend.
Carl:Start with whoever you think you're closest to and just ask. Hey. And you can you can you can use me as an excuse if you want. Hey. I was listening to this podcast, 50 fires, and Carl always ask this question.
Carl:Or you could just simply say, hey, I was thinking just sort of casually enter it. Hey, I was thinking about this the other day, and I don't know that I've ever asked you. What what's your earliest memory of money? You know, here's another way to start. Hey.
Carl:I was thinking about my earliest experience with money, and I realized I'd never asked you. What's your earliest memory of money and then just listen you can ask I call them go deeper transition questions like oh that's really interesting tell me more or what do you make of that now? Well that's an amazing story. What what do you make of that now? Or wow, thanks for sharing that with with the benefit of 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years of hindsight.
Carl:What do you make of that experience now? And then it doesn't have to just to relieve any pressure you might feel. It doesn't have to go any deeper if you can just say at the end of it like gosh wow that's really fascinating thanks so much for sharing you know what do you think of the weather like you can just move on if you want but what will inevitably happen I find is it it opens all sorts of opportunities for discussion especially if you're just comfortable saying it you know and and what else did you learn a w e ah I'd learned that from Michael Bunge Steiner. And what else? Oh, tell me more.
Carl:Try that. You know what would be amazing? Is if you did that, send me the story. Feel free to just record a audio note and email it to me or type it out. Whatever's easiest for you.
Carl:Just email it to hello at behavior gap dot com. I would love to hear your story. Just like my friend sent me his. And in the very same way, just so you know, in the very same way, you have no idea who that friend was. Right?
Carl:I didn't share any. I I even skipped the details about what the experience was that she had with her friends that taught her what socioeconomic class was. They even skipped those details, let alone names or locations. I and if you don't want me to share any part of it, just say, please don't share this. Your your your secret's safe with me, but I'd love to hear those stories.
Carl:Hello@behaviourgap.com. Cheers, my friends.