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How can a deeper understanding of mental health help us see our world, and ourselves, differently? Hosted by therapist Kurt White and journalist Mary Wilson, each episode of Unravelling explores a complex mental health topic with insights from both professionals and people with lived experience. Whether you're trying to make sense of the world or just the slice of it inside of your head, Unravelling is here to foster a more compassionate and informed perspective on life.
The content of this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with a qualified health care professional for any health concerns. Take care of yourself out there. Welcome to Unravelling, a podcast that sees the world through the lens of mental health. I'm Curt White, a social worker and psychotherapist.
Speaker 2:And I'm Mary Wilson, journalist.
Speaker 1:Mary: On last episode, Mary, we talked to Vinny DeHealy and E. Merton about this very exciting and emerging world of group therapy using tabletop role playing games.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Dungeons and Dragons and how people can use imagination and storytelling and role playing to actually process real life challenges.
Speaker 1:Yeah. To sort of pick some things about yourself that you might wanna try on or play out with other people, and then just do it.
Speaker 2:So we encourage you to listen to that last episode if you missed it because this episode, we are actually doing it ourselves.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. We're gonna put very different hats on than we normally have and invite all of our listeners into this special journey with us on this two part adventure. And to fill out our adventuring party today, Andrew and Hans, two of our producers, are going to join us in this adventure.
Speaker 2:Alright. Let's get right into it, and we'll hand things over to Vinnian E, our DMs and therapists.
Speaker 3:You have all created characters. So your task was to create a character and also to identify an interpersonal goal for yourself, something that you'd kind of like to work on through your character. So what was that like for you?
Speaker 2:It was like stepping into a foreign world sort of going through the character creation. So many words I was sort of unfamiliar with or what the back story was. Overall, it went well. A little intimidated by all the numbers. I'm like a have a phobia of numbers.
Speaker 2:So there was a lot of numbers. But other than that, it went well. It was fun.
Speaker 4:I I have never played before. I got stuck in the classes for a while. Yeah. I was able to narrow down to like three that I wanted. And there were elements of some that I wanted.
Speaker 4:I wanted to like join classes and, like, make my own class sort of, but I settled on monk.
Speaker 1:And for me, it was a lot of fun. I've gotta say, I've I'm not I don't I never played either. I might have played around with creating a character some years ago. And it was an interesting tension between sort of choosing a character that had maybe qualities and traits that are alike to the ones that I see myself having versus sort of choosing qualities and traits that I might wanna see myself developing. And I thought it was actually sort of the first thing I started with and maybe leaned into a little more and then did the other kind of more around the edges and then some of the more subtle details of the of the character.
Speaker 4:That that was going on in my head too because nor I would have gone to the bard. Know? And then but I I saw the bard and I immediately eliminated it because I was like, okay. That that'd be too obvious.
Speaker 5:Because you're a musician, Andrew. Yeah. You're a recording engineer and musician, and that's felt too close to home.
Speaker 4:A little too close to home.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Yeah. Have been playing role playing games since I was five years old. So I was a kid, making characters was most of what I did. We didn't actually play most of the characters.
Speaker 5:We just made them and loved, like, this idea of creating possibility. And, it's one of the things that I love about role playing games generally is the sense of possibility that you have with them. I love reading a role playing game because it's just you're not reading a plot. You're not reading a story. You're reading a million stories that could be.
Speaker 5:You're reading an infinite number of of moments that could happen, and it's just it's such a fun way to to imagine things. And so I just I did it intuitively, and I just was like, what do I feel? And I I I felt like having a higher power controlling me was definitely the zone I was in. So that's where we land. Perfect.
Speaker 6:We've all been there. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I I think you're all touching on some of the tension that's exactly what we're trying to get at with D and D therapy. Right? Of like, what feels like us that sort of pulls us as our, like, comfort. Right? Like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's that would be me. And then how do we sort of stretch that a little bit? And when we're supporting folks in choosing an interpersonal goal or designing their character to support an interpersonal goal, we are encouraging them to like go like 30 degrees, 60 degrees, 90 degrees, not a 180 degrees. Right? So like if we're trying to be more assertive, for example, we don't need to go straight to, you know, a barbarian who charges in.
Speaker 3:Right? We can shift a little. We can be a very brave monk and have there still be some tension there. So we want it to be something that still retains some some part of you. Right?
Speaker 3:But that is just including some stretch there. So at this point, what we will do is we will have folks introduce themselves, both of their selves.
Speaker 2:My name is Mary, she, her. My character is Muriel, and it's an elf, a very strong, confident elf, who has some humble beginnings when, she was born. She was raised in a small community where there was a famine, and it wiped out many of her friends' family. And so she became a caretaker for a lot of different people. And, one day, she just got fed up and burnt out and decided to leave everyone behind for just a bit and, strike out with this group of adventurers on her own.
Speaker 2:I think you can maybe get what I'm getting at that in my own life, I'm a caretaker, and I have two kids, a new mom, and I am prioritizing other things maybe other than myself a lot of the time. And so I think one of my goals would be to speak up for myself more as this character, being more assertive and, setting boundaries, being able to say no. And we'll see if I'm able to do that.
Speaker 3:And Mary, your character is a Paladin. Yes. Yes. An elven Paladin.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I don't know much about that. I just saw that it was someone who was, like, brave and sticking up for the innocent. I'm sure there's much more to it, though.
Speaker 5:Yep. Strong ideals. Okay. Paladin has a a belief in protecting others.
Speaker 6:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So I like the idea of taking that quality and also making sure that it includes yourself. Mhmm. Right? That seems like kind of a perfect stretch for you without losing that really important part of you that does care for others. Thank you, Mary.
Speaker 5:So I'm Hans, hehim, and a pirate ship is an intimidating place to exist. It's a lot of big personalities, a lot of danger and things happening. And when your job is the cook, you're maybe the lowest person on the totem pole, you might have, as Drip does, a bit of a sense of inadequacy. Drip has felt often like he can't measure up to everyone else on the ship. That doesn't feel great, and it means that he can't necessarily see that he's actually really well liked by everybody.
Speaker 5:He he holds an important position. He's contributing in a really positive way. He's just people genuinely like him, but he can't he can't see any of that. All he sees is the stuff that he doesn't do. And then one day he gets allowed to go along, and he immediately falls on his face.
Speaker 5:He falls in the water. He does all of the things he's not supposed to do, and he gets separated from the group. He encounters an otherworldly being. In his feelings of shame and inadequacy, the being offers him a deal that possibly he could have some power and confidence imbued in him by this being. And because he's feeling so shamed and so in his feelings about it, he takes the deal and immediately becomes filled with the power of this being, which he comes to regret almost instantly.
Speaker 5:But a deal's a deal. You know what? He signed on the dotted line. So now he's in it. Drip is a warlock, which means he has this other power.
Speaker 5:His power, his magical power comes from this other being. He's not quite sure what it is. It probably is somewhat malevolent. It means that he's a little ashamed of the power that he has, but the power that he has allows him to contribute in a way that he wants, which is a very complicated dynamic for him. Mhmm.
Speaker 5:I thought that for me, a history of being in situations of letting other people make a lot of decisions or looking to other people to make a lot of decisions for me, and not trusting that I have something to contribute. And so I'm starting in this position of Drip feeling very much that way even though he's got the power within him to do that. He's nervous about it. And I'm hoping that Drip can take an action to be able to, contribute and ideally contribute in a positive way from himself.
Speaker 6:How would we be able to tell or see that you're leaning into that for DRIP?
Speaker 5:I think it's disagreeing. I think it's standing up for something despite pushback.
Speaker 3:It's great. Thank you.
Speaker 5:Also, he's a water Genasi, so he's a like a water being. He always look he looks perpetually wet.
Speaker 3:Oh. Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah. He's just damp, dewy.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's just watery. He's just
Speaker 5:is is funny, but also makes him a little ashamed around all these non sweaty looking, confident looking people.
Speaker 4:I'm Andrew, hehim, and my character is the heat waver. I had trouble coming up with like a cool name, so I just leaned on a character from King of the
Speaker 3:Hill. Yes. When in doubt.
Speaker 4:When in doubt. Yeah. We all have a little bit of build no tree than us,
Speaker 3:I think.
Speaker 4:I look through all these interpersonal qualities and problems and I lean towards someone else's needs and sacrificing my own, just to keep things smooth and moving. And I think historically in my life, that action has bred resentment in my like offline life away from people. I've always had a problem, you know, being assertive and there's always been like a fear of failure that causes me to sometimes, you know, turtle shell in or step back from actually accomplishing something or actually doing something especially on time. Those things that I know about myself at this point and, you know, would like to change about myself, but also being in that that's the way that I am. That was kind of my compass in in creating my character.
Speaker 4:So my character is a monk And I kind of had this idea that the monk was very good at problem solving. I liked the blend of like spirituality and dexterity and intelligence and like the blend of like physical and mental abilities really spoke to me. And my idea of the heat waiver is, you know, the heat waiver lives in seclusion. He's almost like a hermit. But in times of need, his old friends will seek him out and come bring him out of retirement to save the day because he's the only one that can do that.
Speaker 4:They they really need the heat waiver. And and he's happy to oblige, you know, because he loves helping people. In real life, I love doing things for other people, but at the cost of like setting my own needs aside.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And unyielding bravery to march to the front of the line and be the one to lead people and be the first to face danger instead of like hiding behind someone else or something else or being the last to show up or you know, purposefully kind of like doing something to avoid a confrontation.
Speaker 5:Wow.
Speaker 6:How will we know that you're leaning into this new stretched part of yourself?
Speaker 3:What might that look like?
Speaker 4:Leading the charge maybe.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So that's the heat waiver, I
Speaker 3:think. Thank
Speaker 2:you.
Speaker 1:I guess that leaves that leaves me and my character. I'm Kurt. He him pronouns. My character is an alter ego of sorts here, Pun Suk, Pun Suk, which in the Tibetan language means something like good luck. It's actually my my
Speaker 5:With that inflection,
Speaker 3:good luck. Well, it's a
Speaker 1:I think it's a little bit of a joke that my Buddhist teacher, when you take certain vows, like I have a whole personal history in Tibetan Buddhism. I'm white guy, I should say, but my but in that tradition that comes through India through Tibet and was introduced to many in this country through a diaspora of stuff after Chinese invasion. And our teacher, when you take certain refugees, you get actually a new name. That's part of it is your teacher's name and part of it is a name that they choose to give you. And Punsook is my such name.
Speaker 1:I sort of thought, know, I always thought that was funny, sort of good luck, you know, because maybe I've had a hard time in certain ways. My teacher knows that. But sometimes he said having the name, maybe there's a little bit of like, it'll help a little.
Speaker 3:Bring a little, yeah.
Speaker 1:My character is also a monk. I think we probably are aware of each other. We know each other from around town. I may be a little bit more out and about, sort of middle aged monk, a tiefling species, which is sort of like you've to picture some horns and sort of connections to the dark underworld. This is my family of origin.
Speaker 1:In fact, I'm pretty sure I am related to this guy that goes around making deals with people to give them certain powers. And I don't particularly like that. I have a sort of strong alignment toward good and doing good, sometimes a little bit too hell bent on it, pun intended, in a way that I don't necessarily consider all of the consequences. Charge in and say, no, this right, right, is right. We've got to do it.
Speaker 1:So I'm actually looking around because I heard something about that, that my family was up to their no good tricks again. And I am keeping an eye. I want to know what they've been doing. Oh. There's a certain kind of sadness that permeates all of this, a certain kind of like I can align myself in the service of others, but not I don't relax easily.
Speaker 1:There's always a worry, a worry about that darker side of things, about death and dying and things like that. And I think it would be growth for me to relax a little bit, especially maybe to relax into a group. Maybe taking a step back sometimes, maybe not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.
Speaker 6:Yeah. And one way to make that a little more explicit for us might be a meta commentary for you, Gurt, where you could say, I'm feeling the desire to do something to make this better, like, or to Mhmm. Like, change what's happening, and I'm I'm choosing not to. Like, Poon Suk is taking a breath and just kind of letting this horrible conversation unravel. Like, and I'm I'm not gonna try to intervene in this moment, but I feel that urge to, like, help this friend.
Speaker 5:I think that's fascinating, Corey. It it I thought that Drip's dynamic coming into this group and his reason for participating was because he was fleeing, somebody who's a water Genasi, so of the sea. Word you know, his whole life is on the sea. He was running away that's why he's the middle of the woods is he's running away from everything he knows. But, actually, now I feel like it's way more interesting that he has been compelled to come here and find your character.
Speaker 5:Mhmm. And, Mary, if it's okay, I think that Drip is pretty infatuated with with Mariel. Yeah. I think he's pretty infatuated. If that's okay with you Absolutely.
Speaker 5:Because you embody a lot of thing. You're you're he's he's
Speaker 3:His confidence.
Speaker 5:If he was a cartoon character, he would have stars in his eyes when he saw you.
Speaker 3:So Kurt and Andrew, your monk characters, I wondered if there was any potential knowledge of each other interaction.
Speaker 4:I would assume that, yeah, we do all kind of know each other, us monks.
Speaker 1:I would be fine with the idea that I I have gone to HeatWave for some help in this trouble. That I've had this feeling through the sort of spiritual plane that my relatives are up to something and someone is coming. Someone is coming to seek me out. Yeah. And I think I'm gonna need some help for that.
Speaker 4:And I wonder if I would oblige because of my pure soul or because I owe you something.
Speaker 1:Oh. Oh.
Speaker 3:And I'm thinking about how Mariel might have been brought up. We're seeing some connections here.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It almost seems like maybe I was just sort of I'm out traveling trying to find myself, and I just sort of come across this group maybe. And I just think like, oh, this is an adventure. This is what I need for myself to maybe prove myself and find my boundaries. So maybe I just sort of join in.
Speaker 5:I think it's part of why Drip is infatuated with you. She just she just stepped in. She just like
Speaker 3:Just rolls
Speaker 5:up and clutter. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I can just be there. Let's do it. That's wild. Anyone
Speaker 1:who wants to do the right thing is is is fine with me. I'm more than married.
Speaker 3:I wanna
Speaker 5:do the right thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I've also taken up the lute. I'm trying really hard. So I've got a lute. I also have a bottomless cup of coffee, By the way, that is the thing I actually have.
Speaker 1:If anyone needs coffee, it's magically ready
Speaker 3:for it.
Speaker 6:Refilled. So Beautiful.
Speaker 3:Phew. Okay. You're prepared.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 3:That's the sound.
Speaker 4:Yes. That's the sound.
Speaker 2:I knew I was forgetting something. Yeah. Word play. To interrupt everything.
Speaker 6:It's fantastic.
Speaker 3:You all, this group that's formed, like looking into this kind of where this power is coming from, maybe Poonsock's family connections, DRIP is trying to understand more about this power that's happening, and you get a lead. You hear you hear a rumor. There's been a job posting in town. It sounds like this might be connected. Some some people have gone missing, and they're putting a group together to go and look into some of these reports.
Speaker 6:So we'll need one volunteer who would be open to being in character. Each of you are gonna take part in it, but more in a passive role, not as your characters. Anyone feeling pulled to call on the character to join this little interview?
Speaker 4:Shall step forward. Waver. You're already leading
Speaker 3:us. Our work is done.
Speaker 4:Oh, it feels so good. Okay.
Speaker 6:That sounds good. Heat waiver, you are the one who's obviously always looking into town and checking the local listings for jobs on the job board. If there's monsters, if there's concerns from the villagers, you're just always mindful of how can you how can you be of help? And you see this ad on the list of Craig, which is the local job board of a an interview that's being done for a job to look for some of these missing folks that have been outside the skirts of town. The interview is set at nighttime.
Speaker 6:It's kind of an eerie, dilapidated part of the village. Broken walls kind of align this building as you make your way in. You kind of shift through a bit of cobwebs and come to this old door that you open up. And in it, you see what seems to be kind of an interview that you would see at a a job. There's a long table in front of you.
Speaker 6:Bit strange though, instead of people, you just see a bunch of different larvae, like, sitting where the chairs of that interview would be alongside a kind of insectoid, like humanoid being that's has kind of like yellow pincers and antenna as he kind of is rubbing his, like, mandibles together. It just goes, welcome. Welcome. Come in, please. I'm Craig.
Speaker 5:So nice to meet you. The eponymous Craig.
Speaker 4:Craig the mantis.
Speaker 3:Craig himself.
Speaker 6:Thanks so much for coming and, you know, checking our listing. Please take a seat.
Speaker 4:I prefer to stand.
Speaker 1:Okay. You are a halfling, I think. Right? So that's
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 4:He's a The chair would have to be really small. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6:So it wasn't really built for you in mind. That's that's totally fair. So we have just a few questions that we wanna ask for today. And as you can see, my here, they have the ability to telepathically talk to you. Say hi, brood.
Speaker 6:What we're going to do today is just ask you a few questions. It's more of an HR thing. We just have to make sure that we have the right kind of background for you. So we're each gonna ask you a question. We just want to give a chance to see, like, how you are on your feet for a job such as this.
Speaker 6:So, Larva, and kind of turns to the rest of you, go ahead and ask your questions. So each of you will ask a question. It can be any question you want, casual or serious. But the goal of this is to ask the heat waver, Andrew, like, something about his character that he hasn't explained yet or given details about so that we can practice making something up on the fly, on the spot.
Speaker 2:I'll begin with a question for the heat waiver. How do you take your coffee in the morning if you do indulge in such a beverage?
Speaker 4:This is the heat waiver speaking and not Andrew.
Speaker 3:Yes. Heat waiver. Yes.
Speaker 4:Andrew takes his coffee black and cold every morning. I'd like to go off kilter from that a little bit. The heat waiver stopped drinking caffeine seventy five years ago.
Speaker 6:No. I like that you were, you know, kind of highlighting it as, like, the difference between Andrew and the heat waiver. I wonder, as you're talking back to the slug that is Mary right now, like, could you speak in the first person to kind of own like like as if you're in character speaking to this, like being in front of you.
Speaker 4:Okay. Yes.
Speaker 6:Unless the heat waver refers to themselves in their first I was yeah.
Speaker 4:Could a big one.
Speaker 3:That's a
Speaker 5:pretty I good don't don't know.
Speaker 4:I think it'll help me get into the character a little more if it's first person. That's a that's a good call. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much for the offer.
Speaker 4:You know, I stopped drinking caffeine about seventy five years ago. Do you have any warm tinctures of herb by chance? Effervescence?
Speaker 6:Oh, we can look into getting that for you.
Speaker 4:Why, thank you.
Speaker 6:And he kind of turns to the bug next to him and goes, Can you skiddle off? Next question, please.
Speaker 1:What is the last book that you've read?
Speaker 4:Maybe that book that, Kurt, you recommended last time we talked, Lincoln and the Bardo was the last book The little one. I read.
Speaker 5:I love that George George Saunders is canonically in our world now. That's fantastic. Hey. That makes me so happy. It's it's canon.
Speaker 5:He's just he's he's in Boulder State?
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's just George Saunders. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 3:Excuse me, mister Heatwaver. Sir, if I could just ask a question. Like, the littlest larva in the corner, as you can see it kind of pulsing, kind of vibrating excitedly as you hear this telepathic message in your mind. I was just wondering if if you don't mind, if you can remember, just what is the happiest memory of your childhood? When
Speaker 4:I was a young monk, very young, I was wandering through the woods and I felt lonely. I hadn't seen my family or anyone in days. I came upon a clearing with a bubbling spring of the freshest water you could possibly imagine, cold, and I was so thirsty. And there was a beam of light cascading over this bubbling running clean water. And I cupped my hands and dipped them in and brought a sip of water to my mouth and the refreshing cooling sensation as I was filled with nourishment and life and the possibility that this life would go on after days of despair alone in the woods.
Speaker 4:And as I sipped and looked up from the water, there was a deer sitting there very peacefully and we just sat in that moment together for a couple of hours and it was very nice and happy and hopeful.
Speaker 3:You feel like a sort of a a shiver of appreciation
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:From the larva as you share that.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Oh, nice. Yes. I feel that. And
Speaker 6:if you see drool coming from Craig's mouth, Sorry. My my tear glands were in my mouth. That was beautiful.
Speaker 4:That's good.
Speaker 5:The door behind Craig slams open, and the littlest larvae comes back in. Telekinetically, there's a floating in front of it is a cup of tea on a saucer. Mhmm. Pretty big. Having trouble holding it up.
Speaker 5:And so it's rattling, and all the tea is spilling out as he, like, carries it with his brain into the room, and he shouts, excuse me. Excuse me. I know who you think about in the dark just before you sleep, but but I don't know why. What would you say to them if you could talk to them right now? And then the cup gets to you, and it's just empty.
Speaker 4:It's just nothing in it. Rolled all over the floor. Oh, I don't I I don't believe you. Oh. How could you possibly know?
Speaker 4:Who are you?
Speaker 6:Okay. Would you like to make an intimidation role, Andrew? This would be
Speaker 4:That oh, sure. Let's do it. Yes. I would like to challenge how the hell this larva knows how to
Speaker 6:This do
Speaker 3:whole larva
Speaker 6:thinks he knows so much.
Speaker 5:First roll.
Speaker 4:There's a lot of numbers happening here right now.
Speaker 6:What's the final number Oh, at the
Speaker 4:one plus one equals two.
Speaker 3:Was that easy? Rolled a one?
Speaker 4:Oh, we rolled
Speaker 5:a one.
Speaker 3:Natural one. No. For our first roll.
Speaker 5:First roll is a critical failure.
Speaker 3:So this is very important part of D and D mechanics. Right? So a 20, if you roll a natural 20 or a nat 20, that's an automatic success. It goes fantastically.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:In contrast, rolling a one is a critical failure, which means what you were trying to do did not happen at all.
Speaker 4:And the heat waiver is I am desperately afraid of failure.
Speaker 3:Nice. Stepped to this tiny larvae.
Speaker 5:And it didn't work out too well.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow.
Speaker 6:I wonder how how you imagine this going since you're not at all able to intimidate the larvae?
Speaker 4:I don't like that question. How do you how do you know that much about me? And I don't like this interview very much. And I turn around to leave and I walk into a closed door and fall on the floor.
Speaker 6:Oh. I I apologize. That is some of our larva can be quite intrusive. That's one of the interns who still needs to get better at holding cops.
Speaker 5:As he disappears into the room, goes, I'm doing my best.
Speaker 3:We all are. All are.
Speaker 6:We know that many people have lost certain folks as of late. There's been lots of disappearances and, missing people nearby, and there is a tavern on the outskirts of the town that we have known has previously been abandoned, but there seems to be some musings that there's some connection to the missing villagers there. So if you could investigate this tavern, that would be ideal, by next morning's light, and kind of hands you a little paper, helps you up off the floor with this mandible.
Speaker 4:How much does it pay?
Speaker 6:We are a modest brood. We can offer you some of our spoils and riches. We make some lovely tea when it's not spelt.
Speaker 3:I tried.
Speaker 6:What do what do you wish for? Maybe is a better question.
Speaker 4:I'll do it if I am successful that you imbue me with your psychokinetic powers of knowledge of this little tiny larva?
Speaker 6:Why don't you do a persuasion check?
Speaker 4:Oh, I rolled a five.
Speaker 3:Oh, they're really stretching you here, Andrew. Yeah. You're a failure.
Speaker 6:He says, you know, I I think that there's one way that you could gain our powers quite easily. And he goes over and picks up the very sweet little larvae and says, like, just put them in your tea the next time that you would like to drink and sit them up and should be able to absorb some of their powers.
Speaker 3:I love swimming. Okay.
Speaker 4:I agree.
Speaker 6:Great. So if you choose to consume the little baby larva, then we're going to say that your character has the ability to message. So you can psychically send and receive messages to anybody in the party.
Speaker 4:Great.
Speaker 6:Typically, we would have you leave, and then we would do this with the remaining members of the group. But I'd like to ask just to process a bit, like, how did that feel for you, Andrew? Like, how was that experience?
Speaker 4:I like the curveballs thrown in. I love I love a curveball.
Speaker 6:Love love the curveballs. Thought you did wonderful when it came to, like, describing the the glade and the beam of light on the cold water with the tears. Like
Speaker 3:That's rassed.
Speaker 6:So I know.
Speaker 3:So the heat waiver is hired, and we'll go back to the group. At the appropriate time, you will make your way following the directions on the scroll you were given by Craig. And as you approach, you'll notice a tavern. Old looks abandoned, sort of dilapidated. There's a broken, faded sign sort of swinging in the breeze that reads the first stage tavern.
Speaker 3:There's no clear entry beyond this old front tavern door. And as you enter, it opens into a warm, rustic space. There's four tables that are sort of spread apart from one another. To the right, you notice a monk sort of suspiciously eyeing the party. To your left is an empty table with four seats around it.
Speaker 3:Next to the monk, there's a wizard with several mage hands, these sort of phantom hands that the wizard is magically controlling, are sorting through papers and holding a pipe and a bourbon as a sort of muttering and contemplating. And across from the empty table are two people, a dragonborn and a drow. They're finely dressed and and seem to be, like, deep in conversation, maybe maybe bickering a little bit. On the far end of the tavern across from the door is a bar. There's a dwarven man sitting at the the bar and a barkeep, dark skinned man with an eye patch and a distinctive hat.
Speaker 3:And as you walk in, he shouts out
Speaker 6:Last call. Put your final orders in so we can shut this place down once and for all.
Speaker 3:So what do you do?
Speaker 4:I feel like Drip is, needing a drink pretty badly.
Speaker 6:Drying out.
Speaker 5:Drip is a drink, Christy. Yeah. I think I think drip is not the first one through the door, though. I'm imagining Mario maybe too.
Speaker 1:Me too. Okay. That was my thought. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright. Yeah. So I'm heading right in, walking up to the bar and saying, come on, friends. We better hurry if we want to wet our whistles.
Speaker 6:The barkeep just looks at you and waits for you to speak first, Mario.
Speaker 3:And, Mary, can I have you roll a perception? So roll that d 20 and then add.
Speaker 2:Okay. Rolled at eleven. So a fourteen. Okay.
Speaker 3:So, Mario, you will notice that there is a menu on the bar.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see there is an elixir for energy. Will take that for myself. And does anyone else like to order the same?
Speaker 6:Name. Names are important. I I don't I don't serve anybody without a name.
Speaker 3:Oh. So
Speaker 2:very sorry. Mariel. Great
Speaker 6:to meet you, Mariel. Eddie. You as well. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1:Good to have Punzhuk, I'll I'll have one of those energy elixirs also. There's a it says monster, but there's not a real monster, I think.
Speaker 6:Right? It can't be giving away our recipes. They're
Speaker 1:quite secretive. He
Speaker 6:he he waver? What
Speaker 5:can I get you?
Speaker 4:I'm the heat waver, and I would love an elixir as well. I think I'm gonna save this little larva to dip in some warm water for later when I really need it.
Speaker 5:I'll I'll take I'll take whatever whatever whatever group's having is perfect.
Speaker 4:Whatever Mariel's having?
Speaker 5:No. No. I mean, that's actually that's what I wanted.
Speaker 6:Mhmm. I'm I'm sorry. Name? Like, were were you trying to borrow something?
Speaker 5:I'm I'm drip.
Speaker 6:You are dripping on my door quite profusely, but what was your name?
Speaker 5:That is my that's my name. Oh. Oh. It's drip.
Speaker 6:Alright. That's that's fitting.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That's funny. That's funny.
Speaker 3:Never heard that one before. I'm gonna have everyone in the party roll me a perception.
Speaker 1:Nat twenty.
Speaker 5:Oh, boy.
Speaker 3:Nat 20. Oh my gosh. We've already had a nat one and a nat 20. First, like, four rolls.
Speaker 2:I rolled a 17, and then I add the three. Woah.
Speaker 3:We call it dirty 20. Dirty 20.
Speaker 4:Dirty I rolled a 14.
Speaker 3:Hey, much better.
Speaker 4:Much better than before.
Speaker 3:Okay. Moving in the right direction.
Speaker 4:I'll take it.
Speaker 5:I'm a 17.
Speaker 3:Wow. Alright. This party is really keen eye right now. Everyone is really in some vigilance here. Boonsook, you are going to specifically notice, at the bottom of this menu, a sort of fine print.
Speaker 3:There seems to be sort of almost like a catchphrase. And it says, grief moves in six steps. First, you walk it, then you stomach it, then you grasp it, then you swallow it, then you speak it, and at last, you see it. Are you me? So, Putsuk, you noticed this.
Speaker 3:What do you do with this information?
Speaker 1:I think that's SIMRAD, isn't it? I think it is. It might be. And here's psychoanalyst joke. Don't worry
Speaker 3:about it.
Speaker 1:Well, I wanna I'd point it out to others that make sure I say, I feel like this is this is a this is a little cryptic and important, I think.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That that seems important.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Never thought about it like that before.
Speaker 3:And so Eddie pours your elixirs.
Speaker 5:Are we fizzy, smoking? What's like, what are we looking at here?
Speaker 2:I feel like it's purple.
Speaker 5:Purple. Purple.
Speaker 3:It is absolutely purple.
Speaker 5:Yep. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yep. It's kinda like a zesty citrus kind of feel despite being purple. But yeah, it puts a little a little pep in your step. Okay. You're each going to have a plus one to initiative Yes.
Speaker 3:For this extra energy you have from your elixir. So there are various folks around you. So you are here to investigate some missing people.
Speaker 6:And seemingly when you opened up the tavern that looks abandoned
Speaker 3:Abandoned.
Speaker 6:There seems
Speaker 1:to be
Speaker 6:a lot more life and a lot more, like, aliveness than you would have imagined, like walking in.
Speaker 5:Leaning into heat waiver, which I'm sorry. Heat waiver is an awkward experience. Yeah. Weirdly close. Sorry.
Speaker 5:I thought you said this was abandoned. I didn't expect to get drinks or there would be people. Do we go to the right are we in the wrong place?
Speaker 4:The right places present themselves when you most need them.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Sure. No. I was thinking that too. Yeah.
Speaker 5:But is this the place we need then? Anyways, I was just I it was just a thought I had. It's yeah.
Speaker 4:Can I
Speaker 5:It's nice in here?
Speaker 4:It is nice in here. My perception has led me to kind of slightly overhear this dwarf, like, drunkenly muttering under his breath. I'd like to check out the dwarf.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So this this dwarf, just a large dwarven man, he's he's wearing sort of sumptuous silks. And you see him clutching his stomach and rocking back and forth. You know, as you turn your attention to him, you hear him say
Speaker 6:Wait. Wait a wait a second. Wait a second. Provolone, mozzarella, a mantis gave me string cheese brie, pepper jack, and then sparrows that I should eat the sharp cheddar, scooter, asiago was rambling coy when he said I should eat the goat cheese because I'm the goat. What is this?
Speaker 6:Wait a second.
Speaker 3:So he's just rocking back and forth and and then just sort of muttering to himself.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm gonna ask that, hey, what did you just say mantis? Because I was just in a room with a big old mantis and a bunch of larvae.
Speaker 6:Mantis. Anne just gave me the string cheese, the brie, and the pepper jack. Should I have eaten that? Was there something wrong? Something tastes wrong.
Speaker 4:Did you eat something? Did they give you something to eat?
Speaker 6:It's the pepper jack. It's it's probably the Gouda. I shouldn't have eaten the Asiago. This something was horribly wrong. Some they said they something was happening with the cheese.
Speaker 4:That amount of cheese will block anyone out.
Speaker 1:That's right. I
Speaker 3:won't I won't make you roll a medicine check for that. You know that to be a fact.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yeah. Wonder I wonder if I could do maybe a a history check or something. Something about the cheese in the area, mantis related, something like
Speaker 6:that. Wonderful.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Roll it for me.
Speaker 1:Plus five to history.
Speaker 3:So, yeah,
Speaker 1:14 can.
Speaker 3:So 14. So for a 14, what I can give you is that you have heard stories, almost like legend of a magical demiplane, like a different sort of plane of existence where there are avatars of beings. And you noticed he said mantis and ram. And those are two of the avatars you've heard of this place. They're powerful beings, and there's some sort of contest.
Speaker 3:You don't exactly remember all of the details. A lot of it is sort of lost to time, but there's some sort of contest that happens with these avatars.
Speaker 1:I say to the I say to him, good man, that you seem to be in some trouble. Like, could you do you need help of any sort?
Speaker 6:Can't trust anyone. Can't trust any anyone. Someone poisoned the cheese. It must have been the cheese.
Speaker 1:Poisoned the cheese.
Speaker 6:The pepper jack. Mhmm. No. No. No.
Speaker 6:The provolone. It's probably Sparrow. He's the one. No. It was Ram.
Speaker 3:So he is, yeah, he is clutching his stomach. He is feeling quite sick.
Speaker 2:Farky, do you have anything back there to help our our friend here? He's in immense pain, something to counteract this poison it seems like he was given.
Speaker 6:Oh, what? Rorick? You want to help him with his stomach problem?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 6:Well, I can try and get you something, but I don't know that I have anything that's going to take away his ails completely. But here's some ale to try. Thank
Speaker 2:you. Rorick, take a drink and see if this helps. And please, if you can rack your brain, if you know why you might have been targeted here, we have another investigation going on. Maybe this is linked.
Speaker 3:Mariel, as you are sort of leaning in, I am gonna have you roll a medicine check for me. So that's under your skills again.
Speaker 2:Okay. I'm plus one medicine.
Speaker 3:Sort of checking out, you're noticing he's in pain. Okay. Trying to help him out with the sail.
Speaker 2:15 plus one. 16.
Speaker 3:Excellent. 16. So as you lean in and you're offering him this beer, he's he's sort of hunched over holding his stomach. And when you lean in, you notice that he is clutching at nothing. There is nothing there.
Speaker 3:Just goes straight through. He's holding it as if there is.
Speaker 4:You're saying he has no stomach?
Speaker 3:He has no stomach. No stomach. Yeah. There's nothing there.
Speaker 1:That'll get you.
Speaker 5:Cheese. Yeah. We're in all the cheese
Speaker 3:because Yeah.
Speaker 6:Too much cheese. Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm realizing now that you don't have a stomach.
Speaker 3:So as you say that, he looks down and notices that his stomach is missing. He pulls his hands back, and they're covered with this sort of black ooze. And as he sort of shouts in in horror, he seems to rot, decompose in real time, and become a sort of undead version of himself
Speaker 4:Uh-oh.
Speaker 3:And lunges toward you. Woah. Roll initiative. Yeah. Roll initiative.
Speaker 3:Oh
Speaker 1:my god.
Speaker 3:What that means, right 20. Is you are gonna roll a d 20, and then you are going to add your initiative bonus.
Speaker 2:Okay. I got a 20 when I rolled.
Speaker 3:Woah. Yeah. Yeah. You're
Speaker 5:ready for that.
Speaker 2:I know. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. You were right there.
Speaker 1:Is that 10 plus one eleven?
Speaker 5:And remember, we have plus one because of the the energy. Oh,
Speaker 1:yeah. Yeah. 12.
Speaker 5:Drips a 10.
Speaker 4:Okay. 15 plus two. I rolled a 17.
Speaker 3:Excellent. Mariel, you are going first.
Speaker 2:I think I'd like to counterattack with my sword. Woah. Because I want to focus on my self preservation and take this undead creature out immediately.
Speaker 3:Heck. Yeah.
Speaker 6:And I'm gonna grant a little inspiration for you, Mariel. So if you want to roll an additional roll, if you roll low in the future, you can choose when and how.
Speaker 3:Okay. So you get a reroll. Yep.
Speaker 2:Alright. I'm
Speaker 3:gonna redo. Rolling your attack. So 15? A 15 is going to hit. And so now you will roll your damage.
Speaker 3:Eight. Oh. Max damage.
Speaker 5:Wow.
Speaker 3:Tell me, Mariel, tell me about sort of what this looks like.
Speaker 2:Confidently grab my long sword and raise it up, and I just swiftly go straight for the head.
Speaker 3:You hit this undead cheese monger. And as you do so, he disintegrates. You, all four of you, see a burst of bright light. And as your vision returns, you are walking into a tavern. You are walking back into the tavern.
Speaker 3:You see monk to your right, a wizard, a man holding his stomach at the bar, and the barkeep says
Speaker 6:Last call. Put your final orders in so we can shut this place down once and for all.
Speaker 3:What do you do?
Speaker 6:All of you remember everything.
Speaker 5:That that's my question. Yeah. Do we have a we have a memory.
Speaker 6:So You remember.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:You just did this, and this looks just like when you last brought when you first walked in.
Speaker 4:Oh, man.
Speaker 1:I think I'm I'm a little overwhelmed by the evil of it. And I think I shout loudly, there's something demonic going on here. And I walk up to the to the dwarf and immediately cast sacred flame.
Speaker 5:Incredible. Alright.
Speaker 3:Alright. Hero of four. So he is not he's, like, so focused on his stomachache. He has not seen you coming at all.
Speaker 1:And that's great.
Speaker 3:It's a long game.
Speaker 1:Oh, just a one. Yeah. Alright.
Speaker 5:Supposed to
Speaker 4:be reaped a lot.
Speaker 1:My intentions were good.
Speaker 3:You know?
Speaker 4:You were
Speaker 3:just a little ahead of yourself. Right? You know, you're thinking like, oh, this this is that thing I was trying to do. I was trying to just kinda step back a little bit and I got ahead of myself again. So as you are are shooting this this sacred flame, you end up just sort of like singeing the the menu Mhmm.
Speaker 3:That is lying at the on the top of the bar. And the Rorik, the dwarf, doesn't seem to notice, but Eddie does. Eddie does. Mhmm.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Yeah. Bartender. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Name?
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 6:I I prefer people's names before they start ruining my tavern so I can, you know, forward you the bill later.
Speaker 1:What is going on in this tavern? There's something something not right about this place.
Speaker 6:Right now, we have a very rude person that isn't giving me their name before they start fussing about the place.
Speaker 1:Do you know that man has no stomach?
Speaker 6:What?
Speaker 1:I think he's had some bad cheese.
Speaker 6:And he does eat quite a lot of cheese.
Speaker 3:Rorik is gonna hear you say this. Right? He's got no stomach. And Rorik's gonna look look down at his stomach and notice this black ooze covering his fingers. And you're going to watch as he transforms in real time and seems to decompose rapidly and attack you.
Speaker 3:How do you respond?
Speaker 1:I think I'm gonna just try to jump out of the way. I think my I I have a little bit of I'm a little bit rattled by having lost my cool earlier, and I and I think I'm not quick to wanna fight at the moment. I just sort of wanna jump out of the way if I can.
Speaker 3:Perfect. So you're gonna roll a dodge. Right? You're gonna try to dodge this attack.
Speaker 1:Eight.
Speaker 3:You do you successfully dodge? He he's a little clumsy as undead can sometimes be.
Speaker 4:Can I can the heat waver roll a slight of hand and somehow get this like larva in like, get some water from behind the bar without the bar keep seeing it and put the larva in and drink it so I can start like maybe tuning into other people's minds to see what the hell is going on here?
Speaker 3:Eddie is relatively distracted. So you are trying to like sneak behind the bar? Is that what
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. I feel I see that Eddie is distracted by this fight that might be breaking out in the bar and I'm trying to sneak back there. Actually, do I still have the elixir? I could do it in the elixir.
Speaker 3:No. Nope.
Speaker 5:That No. That was the old memory.
Speaker 4:That was the old memory.
Speaker 6:Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yes. So
Speaker 3:The tavern is as you walked in before.
Speaker 6:Mhmm. I just need Can
Speaker 5:I ask really quick? Do we feel the effects of that elixir still?
Speaker 3:Yes. Yes. You still have a plus one to your initiative.
Speaker 5:So it still happened. We just okay. Yes. Please continue. Great question.
Speaker 5:That fascinating piece of data.
Speaker 3:Great question. Yep. First, I'm gonna have you do a stealth.
Speaker 4:Great.
Speaker 3:And that's just to kinda get behind the bar.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And then sleight of hand is gonna be a second check to see if you can grab Okay. The drink.
Speaker 4:Here we go for stealth. Eight. E waver's not doing too well today.
Speaker 3:So you were gonna try to sneak around the bar and and as you do so, Eddie does notice you. He doesn't seem terribly upset, but he looks over at you.
Speaker 4:Oh. Oh.
Speaker 3:Name?
Speaker 4:I am the heat waver. Nice to meet you, Eddie.
Speaker 6:Nice to meet you too.
Speaker 4:You know, in a in a previous life, I was a bartender as well. And I was just wondering if I could pour myself a drink.
Speaker 3:Have you ever been a bartender? Is that true of the heat waiver, or is that a bluff?
Speaker 4:That's a bluff.
Speaker 3:Alright. So we're gonna roll a deception.
Speaker 4:Seven. I don't think he buys it.
Speaker 3:Patty's not buying it. Patty's like, uh-huh.
Speaker 6:Usually, the bar keeps you know, they don't sneak like they're trying to hide close to the ground as they walk around to offer help. Seems a bit strange. Should say that this is happening while this battle and this zombie Yep. Is happening that Eddie seems oblivious to. Just Yeah.
Speaker 6:Obvious. Interesting.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Mariel or Drip, you're seeing both of these scenes happening.
Speaker 2:Heat Wafer, what are you doing? We're trying to figure out what's going on here. Explain yourself.
Speaker 4:I have a plan. Don't worry.
Speaker 5:With a on 11 initiative. Mhmm. I lunge forward almost instinctually. Well, Pooncik's under attack and grab at the dwarf to, like, shove him back a little bit. And in that moment, as soon as hands make contact with the desiccated kind of crispy skin Mhmm.
Speaker 5:Something surges inside of him. It comes from deep inside of his chest and just radiates
Speaker 6:all the way out
Speaker 5:through his arms. This cold erupts from his fingers into the body of the dwarf as chill touch is cast for him.
Speaker 3:For him. Mhmm. Alright. So
Speaker 1:Can I I shout out, don't kill him, or I think this whole thing is gonna start over? So just try to knock him unconscious if you can.
Speaker 6:If you want to both roll to see if you're fast enough to stop Yeah. Or to at least to go into it, then you both can roll a contest.
Speaker 3:Yep. Yeah. So each roll a d 20.
Speaker 5:Okay. Four sixteen.
Speaker 3:Unworldly power.
Speaker 5:Just unworldly power. Just sheer instinct. Yep.
Speaker 3:Oh, no.
Speaker 5:Alright. So chill touch, I guess. So Yeah. He's gonna roll for that. That's a 21 to hit.
Speaker 3:Yes. That is going to hit. Yeah. You're roll your damage.
Speaker 5:Okay. Let's see. I mean, well, there's still a chance. There's still a chance. So here's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna use the this right here is what I keep at my desk. This is the first set of dice I ever owned when I was six years old. Oh. So I'm gonna roll the 10 cider from that. Haven't rolled this in a game in thirty years.
Speaker 5:Nine frost damage.
Speaker 3:Alright. So as this power radiates out of you through your hand into Rorik, you see him crumble to dust. Uh-huh. All four of you see a bright light. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And as your vision returns,
Speaker 5:you're walking
Speaker 3:in the door of a tavern. God dang. And you hear the barkeep say?
Speaker 6:Last call. Put your finals orders in so we can shut this place down once and for all.
Speaker 3:Oh, boy.
Speaker 1:Stuck. This a repetition compulsion. Listeners, be sure to tune in to our very next episode for the exciting conclusion of our adventure. Will our adventuring party solve the mystery of the tavern? Will they manage interpersonal growth?
Speaker 1:Will they manage new insights about themselves? Stay tuned to find out. Unravelling is brought to you by Brattleboro Retreat. Our producers at Charts and Leisure are Andrew Adkin, Hans Beuteau, and Jason Oberholzer.
Speaker 2:And you can find us on social media by searching Brattleboro Retreat. Brattleboro Retreat is committed to exploring diverse perspectives on mental health. While we invite hosts and guests to share their insights, the views expressed are their own and do not necessarily reflect the policies or positions of the hospital or its staff.