New Mom Podcast

Our first couples episode is here! Carrie and her husband Connor invite their friends Lexi and Jaecy Friesen onto the podcast to share their birth story and postpartum experience in real time. 

Lexi, who gave birth to their daughter a few months ago, shares funny and memorable moments from her birth story. 

The couples both touch on the relatable, humorous and hard moments in postpartum. Becoming parents brings many new challenges to a marriage but also so many blessings!

Follow Lexi and Jaecy:
Lexi: https://www.instagram.com/lexi.ps/
Jaecy: https://www.instagram.com/jaecy.friesen/

Follow us on Instagram! 
New Mom Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/newmompodcast/
Carrie: https://www.instagram.com/carriewampler/

What is New Mom Podcast?

The New Mom Podcast is a Christian motherhood podcast for women navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood.
Whether you're a first-time mom, expecting, or in the middle of sleepless nights, this show offers real, honest conversations about motherhood, marriage, identity, and faith. We talk about birth stories, postpartum recovery, relationships, mental health, and trusting God through every stage of motherhood. If you're looking for encouragement, practical advice, and a reminder that you're not alone—this podcast is for you.

Our prayer is that New Mom leaves you feeling seen, strengthened, and a little more equipped for the beautiful calling of motherhood!

New episodes weekly.

Carrie:

Hello, and welcome back to New Mom. In today's episode, Connor and I sit down with our good friends, Lexi and Jaecy. This is our first couples interview. It was so much fun. You guys might remember Lexi from one of my first episodes, but she gave birth to their daughter, the adorable, adorable little Eloise.

Carrie:

And she and her husband sit down to tell us all the postpartum things, their birth story, and we chat about all of it. So this might be a slight TMI episode. But honestly, if you're listening to this, you probably already know all of these things. So I hope you guys enjoy. We had a lot of fun.

Carrie:

If you are loving New Mom, take a moment to rate and subscribe to the show and maybe even leave a review. It helps us to get the word out to more moms like you. Thank you for listening. Welcome to the New Mom, guys.

Connor:

Hey, guys.

Jaecy:

Oh my gosh.

Carrie:

You guys are our first. You're our first couple.

Lexi:

This is Jaecy's first podcast.

Jaecy:

I think it is. Yeah. Really?

Lexi:

Wow. I have a child. I'm wearing little Ellie. How

Connor:

old is she right now?

Lexi:

She is six weeks and some change.

Jaecy:

She'll seven weeks on Friday.

Lexi:

So crazy. Yeah. She'll be seven weeks on Friday. Oh my gosh. She's our little Velcro baby.

Jaecy:

She is a little bit of a

Lexi:

Velcro baby. Loves the Velcro patch.

Carrie:

Loves to be trash.

Connor:

Soak it up.

Carrie:

I was just gonna say that little the little squish, like, just falling into you like that, it just doesn't

Connor:

it goes so fast. We're at that stage where Archie just, like, just wants to go do anything else. Like, just wants to crawl or, like,

Lexi:

jump off

Connor:

of the couch.

Carrie:

He's also just he's never been a contact napper. Like, when he was really little, he would. But ever since Little

Connor:

little, he would.

Carrie:

Yeah. When he was really little. But ever since then, he's just been like, they say your baby's a cuddler or they're not. And he's just like, I'll try to, like, rock him to sleep or get him to, like, fall asleep on me. And he's like, he's just like, please put me in my crib.

Carrie:

Really? Yeah. He's always been that way.

Connor:

So just enjoy it.

Lexi:

Oh, but I bet you get so much stuff done.

Carrie:

Yes. But also when you're out and about or you're traveling, you're like, I wish you'd fall asleep in my arms, child.

Lexi:

Yeah. Oh, that's true.

Carrie:

That's very true. There's good and bad in both, I think.

Lexi:

But you can Yeah.

Connor:

For people listening, we are crammed onto a tiny couch. We're we're all sharing seat. Yeah. We're sharing microphones.

Lexi:

It's a casting couch. It's real Yeah. It's

Carrie:

yeah. We're making it happen. But welcome to the show.

Jaecy:

Thank you.

Carrie:

You guys are very very new parents.

Lexi:

Yes. We are. And Yes. We are.

Jaecy:

We're in the trenches, as they say.

Carrie:

You guys are in the postpartum trenches We

Lexi:

go back

Carrie:

and forth. As she takes her sweatshirt off.

Lexi:

As I take my sweatshirt off. Holy moly. We go back and forth between, like, we're in the trenches. And we're like, no. Speaking positively, it's the fourth trimester.

Lexi:

Like, we go back and forth.

Connor:

Oh, yeah.

Lexi:

This last week week six is definitely the trenches. Mhmm. It's like

Jaecy:

What's different?

Carrie:

So

Lexi:

hard. It's because she's been through a growth spurt once already and it was intense, but it wasn't like gnarly like this one just was because it was less feeding. And I mean, there was plenty of feeding, but it was more short, short naps and fussiness. Mhmm. So much fussiness of like Mhmm.

Lexi:

It felt so personal. Like, each we were just, like, crying in each other's faces. It's like

Carrie:

purple screaming Yeah. At

Jaecy:

Yeah. I just was like, to really scream. Like, it's like

Lexi:

shaking shit.

Connor:

Healthy lungs.

Jaecy:

Oh, yeah. Those lungs are

Connor:

they're functioning.

Carrie:

I was gonna say the early days when he was like, you know, maybe one to six weeks Mhmm. He would cry. He'd have his like witching hour before bed. And when we put him down at night and like he would finally fall asleep, do you remember we would just hug? Because we're like our nervous systems had to Yes.

Carrie:

We made it through the day.

Lexi:

And it's so hard Yeah.

Carrie:

Because you're like, we're having the sweetest days ever and also the most exhausting and Mhmm. And stimulating Exhausting

Lexi:

and such a deep level.

Carrie:

Yes. And it's like when you get them down, you're just like, I kinda wanna just cry and hug. That was really hard.

Connor:

We had a couple days, like, we'd he'd go to sleep. Like, maybe you guys are at that phase now where it's like we were putting him down around, like, ten or 10:30 or something, even And maybe for the first so you're, like, waiting up with him.

Jaecy:

You're like,

Connor:

I don't wanna go to bed yet. Right? You know? And so you stay up late, and then they're fussing and then you finally get them down. It's just like, oh, I need to cry.

Connor:

Yeah.

Lexi:

Well, we're always reminding each other. But a lot of it when I'm getting like, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And it's like there's nothing. You're doing nothing wrong.

Lexi:

It's just this is she's doing the best she can just like you are. Like, the only way for her to communicate really is crying. So like, that's it.

Carrie:

She's gonna cry sometimes. Have fun.

Connor:

I mean, think about, like, being a baby. It's like every time I'm like, oh, my my leg is itchy. Yeah. I can just go itch it and they're just like I know. It's like everything is the same response.

Jaecy:

Well, you kind of nailed it. Like, some of those days where you finally get them down, it's like after, I don't know, twelve plus hours of over stimulation, not only for them, obviously, like that's real, but for the parents is like,

Carrie:

Yes. It's such a let down. Yeah. Oh my gosh. With their end yeah.

Carrie:

There was a lot of times, I feel like, the beginning

Jaecy:

when Well, you're you good at masking it. I'm learning. You get good at just like you're just like, whatever.

Carrie:

Like, just on the

Jaecy:

next thing.

Carrie:

Operating on next thing.

Jaecy:

Operating in the deficit.

Carrie:

Yeah. Exactly. You're like, nervous

Jaecy:

system shot.

Connor:

I feel like you're there's like a new capacity that is unlocked when you have your kid. And it's kinda cool. Like, it's a painful growth sometimes. But there's some days where I'm like,

Carrie:

I'm powering through.

Connor:

I didn't think I had that in me. I was like, I'm a dad. Yeah. Like, I just did that. All that sucked.

Connor:

Yes. And it just kind of kept sucking all day.

Lexi:

All day long, it sucked.

Connor:

And no one else was gonna do this for us. But then we did it, and I did it, and I didn't know I had

Carrie:

a good name. It's empowering.

Connor:

And I didn't used to have it,

Jaecy:

but now

Lexi:

I do. Feel like it's kinda cool. I feel like I've been very, very much when I'm also prayers right now are like one word. It's like peace. Peace, God.

Lexi:

Yes.

Connor:

O s.

Lexi:

Literally. Three letters. Please. Pray like, ease, God. Ease in her body.

Lexi:

Ease in our body, Lord. Like, it's just like one word at a time. Yes.

Connor:

Let her poop now and then three hours once

Carrie:

Oh I've a my gosh.

Lexi:

Last night, we both She finally all day Because they say like They say. It has been said.

Jaecy:

Who is they?

Carrie:

Who is Who is they? We're still waiting

Lexi:

to hear about. The jury's out. Yeah. Of like, a baby isn't technically constipated until they don't poop for like three days.

Carrie:

It's a long time. It's a crazy time. But they get uncomfortable pretty fast. So you're like, oh, no. Well, and

Lexi:

this girly poops, like minimum usually, three times a day. Minimum. And she's letting it go.

Jaecy:

Oh, yeah.

Lexi:

And so yesterday

Connor:

She saw my magnesium.

Lexi:

Yes. Once. Yeah. It was once in the morning. And by the nighttime, it was like, this is a nightmare.

Carrie:

This is not good.

Lexi:

This is not good. And we had her propped up right and we were trying to get gas out and everything. And finally, she just let one rip and we both, like, wept.

Jaecy:

We were like, okay, great.

Lexi:

We just witnessed the movie. My gosh.

Jaecy:

Is the greatest

Lexi:

thing ever. Yes. It was incredible. Yes.

Carrie:

You guys we had that

Connor:

We had a weird transition like that, like, or eight weeks.

Carrie:

It was I was just gonna say six weeks in, he got he got backed up for the first time.

Connor:

And it was, like,

Lexi:

two days.

Carrie:

Like, no. Maybe it wasn't that long.

Connor:

He's, like, sixteen

Carrie:

years felt like an eternity.

Lexi:

Truly, though. And we could see

Connor:

that his

Lexi:

tummy was

Connor:

Blowing up like a tick.

Carrie:

Yes. His tummy was huge. And and we were going on our first trip with him. We're not flying driving to Santa Barbara, but still And we were praying. I was like laying hands.

Carrie:

I'm like, Lord, please let this child poop. Please let this child poop. Please. Just because I knew it was gonna it was he was just gonna be so miserable in the car and

Lexi:

the whole trip.

Carrie:

And and also it can get scary if it's past three days. We've never dealt with that, thankfully. But I know that it can be an actual issue. I'm like, don't wanna have to go to the doctor. We're on this trip.

Carrie:

Yeah. Anyway Oh, yeah. We've prayed for poop, for sure.

Lexi:

Yeah. My God. Important.

Jaecy:

I'm for

Lexi:

the TMI, I'm like this close to getting one of those, I I call them booty tubes.

Carrie:

They're have you seen those? Oh,

Connor:

called, like,

Carrie:

windy things. Oh, the windys?

Connor:

That's what that's what helped. Really?

Carrie:

Is it it

Connor:

I didn't wanna put it in there. Just to be completely frank, I was like, where

Carrie:

is this?

Connor:

This is your job?

Lexi:

We got them in, at our shower, you're like Oh, see. No.

Connor:

Dude, there's two things we got, from our shower that I was like, I'm not gonna do this. One of them was that, the flute. Uh-huh. The other thing was like the the snot sucker. We call it the snot sucker 3,000.

Carrie:

Also the diaper spatula.

Connor:

But it's like the like, you suck the snot out and then the diaper spatula. I was like, I'm not gonna do that. That stuff is whack. And I've used them all, and they're helpful. Everything?

Connor:

You just gotta roll up your sleeve

Lexi:

and one of those nasal asp I'm I'm I'm addicted to it. Every morning, I do.

Jaecy:

We're an aspirating family.

Lexi:

I do. I do the nasal drops. She screams. Purple screams. She hates it so much.

Lexi:

But it's so good for her because she is more prone to congest she's got boogers.

Carrie:

Mhmm. And

Lexi:

my least favorite thing is when a child of any age, but usually like a toddler, and they have a booger and they won't let you get it.

Carrie:

Oh, it's yeah. We dealt with that already.

Lexi:

It's so tough. And so I'm like, I'm sticking everything up her nose at the point.

Carrie:

Rid of you.

Lexi:

Get her used to it now. Gotta get it out.

Jaecy:

When you have to, like,

Connor:

suck the snot out of there I'm sorry. This is is this a TMI

Carrie:

It's thing? Just the realities of postpartum. Yeah.

Connor:

But, like

Carrie:

No mom listening is shocked.

Connor:

Yeah. They will that kid will act like you are murdering Oh,

Lexi:

yeah. Every kid I

Connor:

know, it's like it's like they're it's like the worst possible thing you could to

Jaecy:

the test.

Carrie:

Even though you're just trying to make him breathe. She's happy after. Yes. Then it's like, oh, this

Connor:

is Big smile.

Jaecy:

Hey. Hey.

Lexi:

Yeah. So great. Big smile. But no. So the the tutti flutes, when you

Carrie:

get those, those are

Lexi:

helpful. That'll be great.

Carrie:

Relieve a lot and they,

Lexi:

yeah, will be It's kind of like

Connor:

an instant feedback loop too.

Lexi:

It usually

Connor:

happens You

Lexi:

don't know

Carrie:

what's gonna happen when you pull it out. Sometimes.

Connor:

And then you kinda like hold a diaper there and you're like, oh god, what's gonna happen? And sometimes it happens.

Carrie:

Sometimes it happens.

Jaecy:

Yeah. We've to check your picture twice now.

Lexi:

Yeah. I just Yeah. That's been like a postpartum anxiety thing that I've had is for some reason, does she have a fever? Yeah. I will go through modes where I become obsessed.

Lexi:

I mean, obsessed with if she has a fever. I'm constantly, like, touching her, everything, whatever. And finally, he was like, Enough. So we did the thermometer. Is the rectal thermometer?

Lexi:

Because I'm like, Oh,

Connor:

It's accurate.

Lexi:

Yes. It's accurate. And we get there, I'm like, I can't do this.

Jaecy:

It was a stadium pulse loud moment.

Carrie:

Was just like, Did you we do that? I think

Lexi:

we've done it once.

Connor:

I mean, she do it, but yeah.

Lexi:

Yeah. And she didn't she didn't fuss it. But even, like, notice. She was just like, Yeah. Did she have

Carrie:

a fever?

Connor:

It's a different thing.

Lexi:

No. 97 something. That's perfect. Even close. She's cold

Carrie:

if anything.

Lexi:

Yeah. Yeah. She's chilly. She needs to chill. She's chilly.

Carrie:

Let's put a blanket on her instead. Oh my gosh. So Hold

Connor:

on. Can you pull that mic towards me and then point it at you a little bit?

Lexi:

I love this. Figure it out like that. Beautiful. Hold on.

Jaecy:

I'm gonna get in there.

Carrie:

Hold on. Do your thing.

Lexi:

Down. In. Like that.

Carrie:

This will pause.

Connor:

Let's do like this and then like that.

Lexi:

Beautiful. There we go.

Carrie:

Do the same thing?

Lexi:

I think you guys have that.

Connor:

Cruising.

Lexi:

Mhmm.

Carrie:

Okay. Great. We're we're back. I wanted to ask

Connor:

six weeks This might sound terrible. I don't know.

Carrie:

Whatever. Six weeks in Traveling fun. Traveling fun.

Connor:

Having a

Carrie:

good time. Six weeks in

Connor:

Mhmm.

Carrie:

I would love to know, while you still can recall, because birth stories get really blurry really fast, I will say, from my perspective. I had to write my

Lexi:

I wrote I wrote mine all out because I was like,

Carrie:

I have to remember this. Really smart. Mhmm. So, gosh, walk us through it. Share what you wanna share.

Carrie:

How do go? Really quickly to preface, I'm laughing because in your episode where you were nine months pregnant with her Fuck.

Jaecy:

And I

Carrie:

was like, would you rather have a short labor or a long and and you were like, I'll take the short. I'll take the short labor. Yeah.

Lexi:

Nope. So I I chuckle. Didn't get that. I I listened I listened to, the episode and I was like

Jaecy:

Okay. Great cut up.

Lexi:

She's So sweet. Yeah.

Carrie:

I was just like Need to play it back.

Lexi:

This girl is a doll. She's just darling what she thought was coming. I mean, what a darling little girl that was. Also, I just have to say, looking back watching the episode, I look like I have plastic surgery because of my pregnancy swell. I like I have

Carrie:

chills Honestly, such a glow.

Lexi:

It it I'm so bummed. I already lost my pregnancy lips. I'm like, ugh, I really wanted to keep I lost mine quickly.

Connor:

We'll buy you some good ones.

Lexi:

Don't worry. Thank you.

Connor:

We'll chip in. We're going to do a love offering

Lexi:

for Thank your you so much. So yeah, no, wasn't quick. And listen, I'm not saying that it's impossible to have an unmedicated birth. I'm just saying when you have a labor for sixty hours, it's not ideal. Think that's fair to say.

Lexi:

It wasn't for me. If you have a quick labor, could see how like, yeah, I could push through this.

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Lexi:

But so, I mean, I started having strong contractions at 7PM on the night of the twenty fifth.

Carrie:

So how far along were you?

Lexi:

I was the 20 my due date was the twenty sixth. Okay.

Connor:

Oh, so

Lexi:

you're right on the money. I was right on

Carrie:

the money.

Lexi:

Let's go. And I was like, we went in

Jaecy:

It was a Tuesday night.

Lexi:

Yeah. 9PM. We went in on 7PM,

Jaecy:

I'm Yeah. Tuesday.

Lexi:

We went in the twenty sixth of the morning. I was like, am I gonna be in, like, the one percent of women that has their baby on their due date? Like, this is incredible.

Connor:

And goes to the labor naturally?

Lexi:

Yeah. No. No. I wasn't. Because I didn't have the child until 03:32AM on the twenty eighth of So rich.

Jaecy:

Twenty fifth. The twenty eighth.

Carrie:

Guys, that's It was tough.

Lexi:

That's one

Carrie:

of longest I've heard.

Lexi:

And I will say that I do think it was partly my fault. Why? Because I think I set myself really hard into early labor. I think that I Yeah.

Connor:

They're

Lexi:

I I pushed it. So I I was not stepping curbs because my OB, who I love so much, told me not to. She literally used the r word. She was like, that's retardant. Don't do Yeah.

Lexi:

Curb It's dangerous. So I was like, nice. No. She My OB did a membrane sweep Mhmm. The morning of the twenty fifth.

Carrie:

Okay.

Lexi:

And then we might get a sleep cry. Let's see. It's okay. I know. Shh.

Lexi:

It's fine.

Carrie:

There we

Lexi:

go. Just a little sleep practice.

Jaecy:

We're a little

Lexi:

sleep practice. Trying

Carrie:

to do a podcast about babies.

Lexi:

Be quiet, baby. Be quiet, baby. So she did a membrane sweep the morning of the twenty fifth. And then I was like, I'm gonna get an induction massage. So I had a massage come over.

Lexi:

By the way, if you're in the LA area and you need a masseuse that does house calls, I have one and she's fantastic, and she will not break your bank.

Carrie:

It's amazing. Wait. I've never heard of an induction massage.

Lexi:

So it's just a regular massage, but she does, labor inducing pressure points. Woah. Yeah. I was and I told her, I was like, go hard. Go hard in the paint.

Lexi:

I wanna have a zen out. I was ready. Mhmm. And I had just I I'm any advice I would give is just like, don't rush it because I think I did. I pushed myself in early.

Lexi:

So I had that that afternoon. That night I started having contractions and very quickly they were very quick and very strong. And I knew I wanted to labor at home for as long as I could. And so I waited until that next morning at six a. M.

Lexi:

We went in and I was two- instead of the four-one-one that they say to go in, I was two-one-one. So I was like, I'm waiting to the last possible minute. And I'm thinking we're going to go in and they're going be

Carrie:

like, You're six centimeters dilated. Do this thing.

Lexi:

You're crushing it, mama. Let's go. Literally. Was like, I'm gonna sneeze this baby out. They were like, two centimeters dilated and maybe a little bit effaced.

Lexi:

So

Carrie:

they're like, you're not there.

Lexi:

You're not

Carrie:

in You're in early labor. You're in early labor.

Connor:

A couple phrases that I never thought would be so important that I would care about so much is like how dilated you are and how a face. Face. Like, I had never heard what that was. Before a three day period. I was just like, oh, most important face.

Jaecy:

Did you think maybe we're at, like, 70% now? I was like

Carrie:

know what

Connor:

I It was just like, this is the most important thing.

Carrie:

High fiving. We're 50% of face, baby.

Lexi:

We're doing it.

Jaecy:

We're doing it. Let's go.

Lexi:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Also, next time to save us some trouble, I'm gonna have him figure out how to check.

Connor:

Oh, god. Don't do that.

Lexi:

I'm tired of going in. So anyways

Connor:

Blink twice if you need help, Jaecy.

Jaecy:

Not my area of expertise.

Carrie:

Didn't you

Lexi:

have a friend

Connor:

ask Didn't you

Lexi:

have a friend

Carrie:

ask that? Like, can you just check

Connor:

this out? Well, my friend my friend Dimitri did. And Really? And, know, they just have their parents now too. But he was like, hey.

Carrie:

Think you guys were laughing.

Connor:

Hey, king. Like, let's be real. Like, did you check? And I was like, no. It's it's not.

Connor:

You can't, like, look up there and estimate. I was like, it's, like, up there.

Carrie:

A medical thing?

Lexi:

Oh my heavens. Hey,

Connor:

King. Do you think it's just like the thing? Mhmm. It's not.

Carrie:

Now now you guys all get it.

Connor:

I'm not gonna lie. I still don't quite understand what it is.

Carrie:

No. You don't need to, man.

Connor:

Because I thought I thought I got it, and then I would, like, watch the nurse check. And I was

Lexi:

like I don't

Jaecy:

get this at all. Close.

Carrie:

Where you where you headed?

Connor:

Fucking hell.

Jaecy:

Yeah. Yeah.

Lexi:

Pretty much. Yeah. So I was barely a face. But they said they were like

Carrie:

Nice.

Lexi:

Your contractions are so strong and so close together. Don't go far. So, like This is

Jaecy:

8AM, by the way.

Lexi:

This is 8AM. Yeah, Wednesday morning.

Carrie:

She'd already labored all night at home.

Lexi:

Yes. At UCLA Westwood. They were like, Great go

Connor:

food court.

Lexi:

Yeah. Great. Oh, we very familiar with the food guys

Connor:

hit up that omelet bar and

Lexi:

Not quite. Not quite. They were like, don't go far. You know, we want you because it could actually really start progressing. And so don't go home in case your water breaks water or blah blah.

Lexi:

So just labor around here. Come back at three p. M. And then we'll check you. It's eight a.

Lexi:

M. Whole work day.

Carrie:

Will you ever get around?

Connor:

Next time.

Carrie:

Yeah. No kidding.

Jaecy:

Where do you think we went?

Lexi:

Next time, I'm going home.

Jaecy:

The food court.

Carrie:

The food court. Food court. Outside food court. Because they were like, there's some beautiful gardens on campus.

Jaecy:

It It

Connor:

is pretty.

Carrie:

Not for eight hours or however long I was would

Lexi:

walking the outside loop. The pictures are

Carrie:

horrible.

Jaecy:

Oh, I've seen them.

Lexi:

And you've seen them. It's tough. Because I also was Do

Connor:

have, like, over the over the head earphones on?

Lexi:

Yeah. Over over big old cans. Let's just make that answer

Jaecy:

here from my from my point of view.

Lexi:

Yeah. Let's yes. Where

Connor:

Yeah. What's going on from the that perspective? Doctors,

Jaecy:

nurses, hardworking people are having breakfast, getting ready for the day, spending Thanksgiving. And then there's there's me dressed like this on a bench, gazing off watching my lovely wife who is in, a PJ set.

Lexi:

Mismatched PJ set.

Jaecy:

Over the over the head earphones with pink clog shoes on. Crocs. Yeah. Pink clog clog shoes because we left the house. So we're like, oh, this is happening now.

Carrie:

We're getting straight

Jaecy:

to Why would we bring shoes?

Lexi:

I'm putting it I'm putting it down.

Carrie:

You're wearing slippers.

Connor:

My wife is making all these doctors lust.

Lexi:

Yes. I That's full.

Jaecy:

There were

Connor:

a few weird side eyes

Jaecy:

in there. Then there were a few people who were like, oh, you know their moms, because they'd be like, you got this.

Lexi:

You got this, mom. Like, you got And who would come up to me and be like, you're so close. Like, you're so she's she is so you are so close. You're almost to the finish line. And I was like, yes.

Lexi:

Yes, I am. Thank you. Wow.

Carrie:

What was your mental space at that point? Like, are you At that point,

Lexi:

I was like, I'm I was, like, rah, rah, Roshes.

Carrie:

So you're fired out. You're not you're not, like, too discouraged or exhausted at this point defeated? Not quite. Okay. Not quite.

Connor:

What were you feeling, Jaecy? Just like I

Jaecy:

was just in support mode. So it's like, you know, you're you're making sure they have water.

Carrie:

Mhmm. Make

Jaecy:

sure they have sounds like a dog. Make sure they have water.

Connor:

Got her a bowl.

Jaecy:

Got Got

Carrie:

her a bowl.

Jaecy:

Do you need go outside? Yeah. I let her

Connor:

off the leash a few times to

Jaecy:

run around. Quiet down. No. Just making sure that they're supported. And so just making sure that you had everything, I think.

Jaecy:

But beyond that, it's you're you're kinda waiting. You can't you can't have a transaction for them.

Carrie:

Yeah. So you're waiting till 3PM at

Jaecy:

the time. Waiting till 3PM. And I think we made it until about 02:30 when it was like, okay.

Lexi:

Yeah. And then we slowly made our way up. And by that point, I was like, this really hurts. Mhmm. So we've got to be really close.

Lexi:

Okay. Like, this hurts so bad. And I had a lot like I yeah, it was a whole thing. And so we get up there and the doctor passes us on the way and I'm having a really intense contraction. And she was like, hey, guys.

Lexi:

And I exclaimed.

Connor:

I was gonna sneak out.

Lexi:

Yeah. I I exclaimed. I was like

Jaecy:

You're ready.

Lexi:

You're kidding. She was like,

Carrie:

I'm gonna let everyone know you're ready

Lexi:

because I was like, if I'm not more dilated, I'm gonna be so upset. And she was like, no. You're gonna be great. You know, blah blah blah blah. Like, we're we'll let you know you're coming.

Lexi:

Great. Get in there. Still two centimeters dilated. Are you kidding me? Still two centimeters dilated.

Lexi:

Maybe a little bit more effaced. And I was so upset. I was sobbing. I mean, was sobbing because I I I go, are you kidding me? You also had to be

Carrie:

physically exhausted.

Lexi:

Oh, I was exhausted because also, hey, moms, if you want to use a TENS unit, a labor TENS unit, don't do it for nine hours straight on your back, not taking any breaks. I was having electric pulse, like phantom pulses Did you think it after. Did you think

Carrie:

it was help was

Lexi:

it helping or not? I think in the beginning it was, but I think actually caused a lot more tension Probably. After having electric pulses into my my muscle mass.

Connor:

Back muscles are shredded now, though.

Lexi:

Oh, there's sometimes

Jaecy:

You have

Connor:

a six pack on your back.

Lexi:

I do. I

Jaecy:

do. She would sweat off. Yeah. So, like, we might all readjust it, but we'd forget to turn the TENS unit off. So, like, I grabbed the pad and it was like, Oh my gosh.

Jaecy:

So these people in the food court were

Lexi:

like, what is cool?

Carrie:

What did you did they sorry. Did they send

Lexi:

so what did you do then? So they were like, okay, we need to do something for your pain because you're so inflamed that you're not going to progress now. They Yeah, it was gnarly. So they gave me a very small morphine drip, which I was terrified of. I have a very I have an odd fear.

Lexi:

I've worked through it a couple times in therapy, not sure why it keeps coming up. But I have a really intense fear of feeling my body change from medication. Like, I'm terrified that I'm going to have an adverse reaction. I didn't. Morphine's awesome.

Lexi:

I would I would have it again right now if I could. It was it was awesome. Yes. It helps the pain. And we laid there for like two hours just about.

Lexi:

And I just relaxed. I was maybe in and out of sleep a little bit, but just really helped with the pain. And the plan was hope they were like, hopefully, your body will relax and then you can finally really dilate more and we can, like, get this going. It did not. I was still two centimeters dilated after that.

Carrie:

So you laid there a few hours. Yeah.

Lexi:

It didn't do anything. It didn't do a thing. Just relax. Besides, like, relax me. So they were like, do you want to go ahead?

Lexi:

We can induce you now and try and get things going that way or you can go home. I was like, I'm going home. I'm getting out of here. I don't ever wanna be here

Carrie:

again. Day.

Jaecy:

Because it was 7PM.

Lexi:

It was 7PM by that point. Yeah. So then we go home. Yeah. We go home.

Lexi:

I get a little bit more rest, like kind of riding on the morphine and then 9PM it like kicks back up again.

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Lexi:

And The contractions? The contractions. Oh, yeah. But I was like, I'm home now so I could relax more.

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Lexi:

It was so much better. And then by like 3AM, I couldn't really feel I realized, I'm like, I don't remember the last time I felt her move. And I'm That's terrifying.

Carrie:

Oh, yeah. I was freaked out

Jaecy:

about that

Lexi:

I was so terrified. Yeah. Remember. There we go.

Jaecy:

She woke me up and she was like, I can't feel baby.

Lexi:

Yeah. Because I also kept coming in, lumbering in both the night before and that night being like, hey, I'm having a contraction. And you'd be like, okay, do you need anything from me? No. And then I would walk back out like I

Jaecy:

just I would do.

Lexi:

I'm like, I just need you to know. Just letting you know. Just letting you

Carrie:

be in this class.

Connor:

You think I'm thinking maybe there's a couple pregnant women out there and they're like, get in here, fella. We're listening to We're going to listen to What's helpful? When you're laboring and it's those early stages, for both of you, what is helpful? What kind of support actually helps from your husband? Is it like, get out of my way, shut up?

Connor:

Is it bring me water? Is it like, what helps?

Carrie:

I think I would say we might have different answers. I What help What help?

Lexi:

I was really like, we prepared a lot of, like, partner laboring positions and everything like that. Ultimately, do you know what helps the most is I sat backwards facing on my toilet listening to the Gospel of Matthew. Not even kidding. I did that for like two hours that second night and he didn't touch me. And it was great.

Lexi:

It was perfect. I did not

Connor:

Get lost.

Lexi:

Like, it never takes. Get lost. Because really, if you think

Carrie:

about it, like, I don't wanna be touched when I'm in pain. Yeah. It it does probably doesn't help. No. I feel like my my advice might be different because I did not labor for days.

Lexi:

Yeah.

Carrie:

I labored for a few hours. So I just honestly felt like like, his presence, like, being in the same room with me and feeling like he was in it with me was helpful. Oh, that's do the he wasn't trying to do partner positions or do anything like that. Like, that would have probably annoyed me. If he was touching

Jaecy:

me or rubbing

Carrie:

my back, that would have been, like, not helpful. But I did feel like I felt like I just

Connor:

Easy, mama.

Carrie:

Well, I think, like, what you don't want You're

Jaecy:

a warrior, mama. Yes, Josh.

Carrie:

What I think you don't wanna do.

Jaecy:

Okay. Right.

Carrie:

I think yeah. What I think husbands don't wanna do, whatever whatever you need in the moment. But I feel like I just didn't want you to be like, oh, cool. You're laboring? Okay.

Carrie:

Bye. Let me know when you need me. And it's like, I kinda just want you to like just kinda sit in this with me. Because like, it doesn't feel the same way, but just be there. Even if I'm like, go sit over there for a while.

Carrie:

Go do your own thing,

Lexi:

like Yep.

Carrie:

Just to check-in here. Just to not be like, okay, I'm checked out till it's it's go time. And it's like Yeah. No. Don't do that.

Lexi:

Yeah. That's what it was. I was like, I don't. I just wanted him to know what was happening.

Carrie:

Just you going and being like, this is really bad or having this contraction. Yeah.

Lexi:

And he's like, what do you need?

Carrie:

I actually feel like

Lexi:

you have

Carrie:

a teammate. Mhmm. I don't need anything, but like, I'm keeping you informed and also please pretend you care. Yes. True.

Lexi:

Yes. And it was great because, I mean, yeah, you couldn't do anything, really.

Jaecy:

There are some things you can do and there are some things that you can't do.

Carrie:

Yeah. Husbands really do rise to the occasion when I they're

Jaecy:

think you're right. It depends on the mom's situation. A short labor versus a long labor, there's going to be different The pace of things is going to be different.

Lexi:

Yeah. Because by the time we got to the hospital then, we went in at three a. M. Then that second night. And they were so intense and so strong.

Lexi:

And they checked me and I was, what, four?

Jaecy:

You were four

Lexi:

and Four.

Carrie:

Yeah. I was like four

Lexi:

and 90 and I was almost five. And I was like, perfect.

Connor:

Finally.

Lexi:

You're gonna put the thickest catheter in my back. I want the most amount of numbing into my body pumped immediately. I was so done. So they're like, you can stay now. You're gonna be in Oh, yeah.

Connor:

Oh, yeah. Getting admitted is the

Carrie:

best so hard because we've gone it was our second time in Yeah. In labor. Yes.

Connor:

You kinda feel like you're never gonna get in.

Lexi:

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, they're gonna let me into this club. I wanna go in. Let

Carrie:

me in. Yes.

Connor:

Pick me.

Carrie:

But, yes, that is such thing. So you knew so you stayed, and then you're like, epidural, please.

Lexi:

Oh, yeah. Immediate. Because it was Thanksgiving morning, and no one was there. I was like I was very alone, which was amazing because then anesthesia came so quick. We got the thing loaded up so fast.

Lexi:

And they were like, you came in a good time because tonight we have a ton of Inductions. Inductions. Oh, yeah.

Jaecy:

I will say, they they all talk about they're like, anybody who's due around Thanksgiving Day, a lot of people will wait till Thanksgiving night. Yeah. If you're in that boat and you go early, great.

Carrie:

Yeah. Or choose be a busy weekend.

Jaecy:

There's no delay for the epidural. There's no delay

Connor:

for the room. Really nice to while he's free.

Carrie:

Oh, actually. Born, Memorial Memorial Day weekend? Memorial yeah.

Lexi:

Oh, nice. The Thursday before.

Connor:

I guess.

Carrie:

And it was the same thing where it was, like, so efficient. It was right before. And then there were inductions all Friday night and Saturday. Remember all this little baby?

Connor:

Before the long weekend.

Carrie:

Yep. Yes. And so we're like, we got in just in time. And we had the same experience where I was like, I'd love an epidural now. And they're like, great.

Carrie:

And ten minutes later because I had always heard, hey, say it when you want it Yeah. In two And we had it really efficient. So yeah, that was really exciting. So you got the epidural.

Lexi:

I got the epidural and I was like, this is awesome. And I was also really afraid of getting a catheter. Mhmm. You can't feel it Yeah.

Carrie:

You because you're numb. Didn't know. It literally doesn't matter. Yeah. I forgot that we've been had those, I guess.

Carrie:

Yeah. Yeah.

Lexi:

And then my big thing was like, I want to be able to eat. I want to be able to snack and movement and everything. Number one, movement was the last thing on my mind. I remember I said I was like, He's going to be my movement advocate rather than pain advocate. I didn't want to be moving anyways.

Lexi:

I was in pain. What are you advocating for? Like, nothing.

Connor:

Lush up. Up. Up. Lush up. Lush Lush Lush

Lexi:

So that was that. Then also

Connor:

How did you respond to the epidural? Great. Walk people through it. Like, how did it go? The guy comes in.

Lexi:

It was a woman comes in. My gosh, she doesn't call it out. And I hunched my back over. The only thing that hurt, and I wouldn't even call it hurt, it was just the pinch. Just the little beasting.

Carrie:

When they numb and Yeah. For two seconds.

Lexi:

Then they got that right in and they were like, it'll kick in when it kicks in Sometimes How

Carrie:

long did it take you?

Jaecy:

I don't It was about ten, fifteen minutes.

Lexi:

It was Remember you

Jaecy:

have a button.

Carrie:

Yeah. There's

Jaecy:

you a button forget

Lexi:

that button? They didn't tell me about the button. We didn't know about the button either.

Jaecy:

Eight hours later, we learned

Carrie:

about it. They could advertise the button more.

Connor:

I had heard about the for the first time two hours into pushing.

Carrie:

Woah. They're like Woah.

Connor:

She was like, how do you push that button? We were like, there's a button.

Lexi:

What do you mean?

Jaecy:

Yeah. We're like, are

Lexi:

you kidding me?

Carrie:

Because I was like, just so you know, like, it's worn off. You said though, you went you did

Lexi:

a bunch of positions when you pushed. Right?

Carrie:

I did. Yeah.

Lexi:

They had

Carrie:

me and maybe they were all kind of laying down, but there was just a lot of different side side side bar squatting.

Connor:

Oh. Tug of war?

Lexi:

Mhmm. Because I I exclusively pushed on my side because of my hips. Yes. And that was it worked. It was great.

Lexi:

Oh. It was nice. I fully, like, basically dislocated one of my ribs. Nice. It took three trips to the chiropractor to get it in and to stay in.

Lexi:

Mhmm. It was because I was holding the side and I was pulling so hard when I was pushing

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Lexi:

That it just, like, it just, like, popped out and it would not go back in.

Carrie:

Shoulders and my booty, like, up above were jacked for days and so sore from because I pushed for

Lexi:

three hours. Yeah. How long did Two and a half. So just about the same.

Carrie:

Yeah. And it's like it's funny because I don't know if you felt this way. I didn't think it felt like that long. Like, I was in the zone at that point. Yes.

Carrie:

And then after they're like, you had a really long a really you pushed for three hours. And I was like, oh, I kind of like locked in.

Connor:

I didn't I'm freaking exhausted. I was like, I've been standing here for Did three

Carrie:

you watch?

Connor:

Define watch.

Lexi:

He, like, watched. He was, like, over the side, like, watching the whole like, pushing, like,

Connor:

head jumping out kind of thing. We kinda had a little, like, you know, game day call, which was like, don't look face on in there. You know, like, she didn't wanna feel insecure about, like, what I'm seeing. Right. And so but I did a little over the shoulder.

Carrie:

Yeah. Did. From where

Connor:

he's like,

Carrie:

he's all the head coming out and stuff like that.

Connor:

I never like yeah. And like, no eye contact with the eye of Sauron. But like, I But like there was a point where like we're doing like tug of wars where face off You locked I just had like discipline. I just kinda looked Yeah. I was like, we're gonna have eye contact.

Carrie:

And I'm not gonna look down. Yeah. You were very very

Connor:

Like I Yeah. I watched him like come out

Jaecy:

and stuff. It's the same. I watched everything until the very last minute, obviously. Then I was up by your head. I wasn't doing an under center QB snap.

Jaecy:

No. Like a run.

Connor:

That's a great point.

Jaecy:

Yeah. But you also there's no room for that. Because you'll as find out, when it's Yeah. Go time at the last minute, the

Connor:

cowardice 11 people

Carrie:

come in. Floods in. Also, I think I had this misunderstanding when I would see movies and stuff of deliveries, as if the woman's body is six feet long or seven feet long and the dad's way down here. Uh-huh. There's a

Lexi:

There's there's a tent? Is There's

Connor:

like a No. A surgical tent?

Carrie:

It's like you're here or you're here or you're here or you're here. It's we're not that long. I don't know what I thought was happening. I guess I was picturing like a c section, like with the giant, you

Lexi:

know, wall. But same though. I I like, there is

Carrie:

no room. There's nowhere to go. It's like, did you see anything? Well, if you're in the room yeah. Saw something.

Connor:

All this

Lexi:

stuff dead. Yeah. And we didn't. So we labored, I pushed and it was great. And honestly, like, would do it again.

Lexi:

Yeah. Kind of like a couple times, hopefully. You know what I mean? He didn't because when you get the epidural, I like I could rest. I like slept a bit, but he was on high alert.

Lexi:

Jaecy didn't sleep for like sixty hours. He was awake.

Jaecy:

It was just it was just

Lexi:

under sixty hours. For so

Jaecy:

long. Maybe a catnap in there too, but with the days leading up because Tuesday night we're at dinner. Her family was in town. The contractions started. So it was just kind of like a Awakeness.

Jaecy:

Tidying things up. And that's one thing I'll say, like, and we'll get into that, I'm sure later, like, for the for the guys, get get some rest.

Lexi:

Mhmm. Oh my gosh.

Jaecy:

You be present after

Connor:

But, the

Jaecy:

yeah, that was tough.

Lexi:

Yeah. He was up for so long. It was crazy. I mean, by the we had, once she was here oh, I'll say that this. I'm glad that I didn't go in with the birth plan.

Lexi:

I'm really glad that I

Carrie:

didn't Yeah. Go with the written

Lexi:

Because so many things, if I would have, the things that happened wouldn't have

Carrie:

been on my birth plan. You had to pivot anyway.

Lexi:

Yes. I had to pivot anyway. Like, I didn't want, they had to give me Pitocin. Mhmm. They didn't have to, but they were like, it will speed things up.

Lexi:

Mhmm. And before labor, I would have said, no. I wanna, like, progress naturally,

Carrie:

but Mhmm. No. Not by that point. Yeah. Your labor was, like, three days.

Carrie:

Yeah.

Lexi:

I'm like, load me up. So there's one kind of deviation. They went ahead and broke my water. Mhmm.

Carrie:

Oh, yeah. Same.

Lexi:

Yeah. Which I would have, like, loved to wait as like, a little bit longer. Mhmm. But at that point, I'm like, let's go. Yeah.

Lexi:

Clip it in. I don't care. And then also with the cord cutting and everything. So she had, a there was a little bit of meconium in my waters, not a lot, but a little enough where they were like, we're gonna have NICU on standby. Mhmm.

Lexi:

Mhmm. We might have to do some suctioning, whatever. It'll be fine. And I was like, okay, great. But ideally, you know, you want immediate chest to chest.

Lexi:

You wanna be able to wait for the cord to be clamped to the last possible second kind of thing. And when they she shot out of me like a bullet, literally, Jaecy does a really funny impression. Her arms were like slaying.

Jaecy:

Over if I try it.

Lexi:

Yes. But they put her on my chest for maybe two seconds and we're kind of patting her. And then I just hear, cut it. Cut it. And then they whisked her away.

Lexi:

And I was just laying there and I was so emotional, just like the relief. And I was just like, thank you, Jesus. Is she breathing? Thank you, Jesus. Is she breathing?

Lexi:

And just like back and forth between because I couldn't she wasn't crying yet.

Carrie:

Okay.

Lexi:

And but I just hear this like, like they're sucking. Mhmm. And I hear them, like, patting her back and trying to get her to cry. That's stressful.

Jaecy:

It was

Carrie:

I know that's like semi normal, but I feel like that doesn't matter.

Lexi:

Doesn't matter. And I was very proud of myself. I didn't panic or anything. And I he was over by her because they had her under this, like, beam of light and were sucking things out. And they were calling out to me like, she's breathing on her own.

Lexi:

We're just helping her get stuff out. She's good. And I would hear a little like, like every once in a while. And I have honestly no idea how long

Jaecy:

that took. It was about five minutes.

Lexi:

Like five ish minutes. Then they brought her back. It felt like forever. And then they brought her back and put her on me.

Jaecy:

Oh, wow. I didn't

Connor:

realize that. Mhmm.

Carrie:

That probably felt like an hour.

Lexi:

It felt like so long. Because then they were stitching me up. It was a whole thing. But they got her back on my chest and I was holding her and her little foot fit in my whole one hand. And I was just like, oh my gosh.

Lexi:

And then she pooped all over

Jaecy:

us. Yeah.

Lexi:

Meconium. Did she really? All over us. It was so funny. I was

Carrie:

like Oh my gosh.

Lexi:

Look at all this poop.

Carrie:

I've never seen such beautiful poop.

Lexi:

I'm so happy. Miracle poop. It was so funny. Oh, it's black tar. Black tar.

Connor:

Black tar, man.

Carrie:

Yeah. So how did that feel? Like, the first the first hours and moments meeting her and

Lexi:

It was crazy because it felt amazing. But you see these Instagram posts about like, what it feels to hold your baby the first time. And it's like these like, it's like to the, you know, the fix you by Coldplay, like, you know, that soundtrack. And it's like all these different, like, fireworks and flowers opening up and all these different

Carrie:

interstellar types And it's not that it's not that, but it's also not that. It wasn't for us either. No. It's incredible. And know you're living in a moment, you're always going to be like, it's so important.

Carrie:

Yes. It's such a significant moment in your life. Yes. But we both talked about how we were it was more so shock and relief than it was instant love. I'm sobbing.

Carrie:

Fireworks. Yeah. Yes. It was more just this is incredible. I can't believe

Lexi:

this is happening. This child just came out of me. Yes.

Carrie:

He he felt like a little bit, not in a bad way. He felt like a stranger for a second. I was like, oh, and also I didn't know if I was having a boy or girl. So I was like, I'm processing that I have a son in my on

Lexi:

my chest, you know? Yep.

Carrie:

And we both looked at each other and I could tell we were both thinking the same thing. Like, are we feeling the way we're supposed to be feeling? Like, I just am shaking.

Connor:

It actually scared me at first because I was like, oh, I thought I just thought

Lexi:

it was supposed to

Connor:

feel different. And I'm like, I'm feeling a lot of things.

Jaecy:

Yeah. But

Lexi:

Unnamed, though. But it was just different than I expected.

Carrie:

Yeah. And and I'm sure everyone's experience is different, but I have heard other parents say that. And and the funny thing is three days later, like, it's just funny how every every minute and hour after that, you fall more in love. Yes.

Connor:

And every day. I mean, seven

Carrie:

and a half

Connor:

percent, it's like obsessed.

Carrie:

Yes.

Connor:

Obsessed or like love grows every day.

Carrie:

Yes. It is nice to say that though because there is a pressure that social media puts of

Connor:

Yeah. If you

Carrie:

don't feel that way, you're disconnected, something you're detached and things are on you.

Lexi:

You're probably gonna have postpartum depression. And it's like No. No. I just this is it is a stranger because you can also, like, something that we really taught and you can probably talk about this a little bit more of we knew the her inside of us, inside of me. And that was actually a different her once she was out.

Jaecy:

Yeah.

Carrie:

I bet that. Because I yeah. I don't know. Because we didn't know what we were having, so we had a different disconnect. Yeah.

Carrie:

But that's interesting here.

Connor:

It's like you have, like, imagined who she was. Yes. Yes. And you're, like, bonding with who you thought she was, and then she comes out and

Carrie:

She's a little different.

Connor:

Different than what you built up in your mind. Yeah.

Lexi:

And so it's I mean, he because he was like you you can talk about it a little bit.

Jaecy:

Yeah. Mean, you build the relationship with because we knew what we were having. Mhmm. We knew the name pretty early on. Mhmm.

Jaecy:

And so, you know, you do all the, you know, speaking into the tummy, all those things. Mhmm. Like, have this idea

Lexi:

of And you feel the kick against- she- because she was a very wiggly baby, so he would like- would kick him all the time. And so they had this thing going. But then when he came when she came out

Jaecy:

full on, like, relationship with your child. And then when she comes out, you're like, why does it feel it felt a little different where you're like, why does it feel like I don't know her when I thought I did?

Carrie:

Honestly, no, it's not. It's actually just good to hear you guys say that because I thought maybe that's because we didn't know the gender, but we felt the same way. It's like you have to learn

Jaecy:

them. Yeah.

Lexi:

You have

Carrie:

to learn them and and they're in front of you and yeah. That's thanks for sharing that. I I feel like we felt similarly and and the incredible thing is every single moment after they arrive, you just fall more and more and more and more and more in love. And there's no other child. There's no other version.

Carrie:

Yep. But it does take just a minute, to set into it. I would love to know from because I know we talked about this a little bit with the guys, but for the dads, postpartum let's talk lot about postpartum with women on this podcast. How have you guys both well, describe the postpartum experience from your perspective, maybe. The struggles, like, where especially, Jaecy, like, where are you?

Connor:

Yeah. I mean, we're the real heroes. Let's just say

Lexi:

But it's not really

Connor:

talked about.

Carrie:

We're both in the trenches. Husbands It's and wives are both in not

Jaecy:

talked about. And you read some things where the males, the dads can have some postpartum depression. And it was weird. I'll be honest for me, the first week was like the sun would go down. And I used to we used to live in the Midwest.

Jaecy:

I used to have seasonal depression, like everybody in the Midwest. The sun goes down early in the winter. Start drinking beer.

Lexi:

Yeah, literally. Yeah.

Jaecy:

I hadn't had that for a decade or more. First week home, he was like, son, we go down and I'm like, why am I depressed?

Lexi:

Like, I've never seen him like that, like properly

Jaecy:

Emotionally like a wreck for some reason. And it was so weird. I don't know if it's the combination of, you know, life changes. Your routines go completely out the window for the better if it has something to do with the winter. But yeah, there was an element of

Lexi:

hormone

Jaecy:

of hormonal change, depression. How can I be a better father? How can I be? All those things. And you just- I mean, you have to face it.

Jaecy:

You have to find ways to mitigate that. But nobody- I had no idea.

Lexi:

You got a thermal light.

Jaecy:

Yes, there it

Lexi:

really helped. Nice. Like a thermal therapy light to mimic sunlight.

Connor:

Get some vitamin D.

Carrie:

Yeah. It's really smart.

Jaecy:

Get an extra hour of that light.

Lexi:

Yeah. And also just like, I think, again, you said it, but just get as much sleep as you can before. That did not help. The sleep deprivation The sleep deprivation.

Jaecy:

Then we had her at 03:30 in the morning on a Friday, and of course, 8AM hits. Everybody that comes in from eight to five, like the pediatricians and the records people, they're coming in every thirty minutes. Constantly. So it's not like you can sleep that day and plus you have this new baby, so you're learning to care for the baby. Then that night after the twenty four hours of a newborn, they suddenly wake up.

Jaecy:

So coupling those things just further the sleep deprivation, at least for me. So that first week and a half, I'd say almost two full weeks after was a challenge that I did not expect from a from a dad perspective.

Carrie:

Did you have that? I I don't remember.

Connor:

You know, I don't think mine was that bad.

Carrie:

Mine was. So maybe that's part

Connor:

of long until you guys had family with you?

Lexi:

So straight away.

Connor:

They were there. They were there two

Jaecy:

weeks, I would say. Mhmm. Yeah.

Lexi:

Which was But I thought Yeah, because they were there the week before, and then my mom stayed to four days postpartum and your mom stayed till what? Like six days postpartum? Yeah. Guess she's gonna have great seventh day, we were alone. Because I remember it was like one she was one week old and that's when you made pancakes.

Lexi:

Yeah. And he came in and brought me a I was like laying in bed and I had just nursed her and we were both asleep. And he was like, I made pancakes for us. And I open palmed the pancake syrup, peanut butter, everything and shoved it all in my mouth and then immediately went back to sleep.

Jaecy:

Sounds Yeah. I was not

Carrie:

prepared

Lexi:

for that.

Jaecy:

It was crazy.

Connor:

Wild. Like a like a teenager who just smoked a bowl for

Lexi:

the Truly. First Gosh. So Continue, Connor.

Connor:

No. I was gonna say, like, I think looking back at it, I- my sister was here and my mom was here, and it's not that often that I have them in L. A. So like that aspect almost made it kind of feel like, Oh, it's kind of fun. Know, like it's different.

Connor:

Like my sister's here and she's making us meals. This is kind of fun.

Lexi:

I I

Carrie:

think it was after that.

Connor:

I think that was really helpful. I think also it was May.

Jaecy:

Yeah. So

Connor:

we're getting way more It's warm outside.

Carrie:

Lots of walks.

Connor:

And also, like, a couple days in, you were like, get out of here and go to the gym. And I think

Lexi:

I made him go on a run. Yeah. I was like, you gotta go.

Carrie:

I think saw you on that run.

Connor:

Good for you. Because I I kinda start crumbling when I'm just out of routine and if I'm I

Carrie:

was gonna say that's what freaked you out from my perspective. I don't mean to take over for you, but I remember you saying, whew, like, the the newborn bubble, the postpartum bubble is the trenches, like you said. And you're like, is this our life now? Yeah. I'm scared.

Carrie:

A little scared. I love this child, but it's a little

Connor:

bit I I feel like number two I I think I don't know. I I hope. I think number two will be easier because you just at least know what to expect. Yeah, it's think not so much of it. You're like You're like trying to wrap your brain around.

Connor:

You're like, is this the rest of my life?

Jaecy:

Is the way I'm feeling to show it?

Connor:

So I think it amplifies it. It kind of feels scary.

Jaecy:

Well, you nailed it. The crumbling is what I felt. Where it was like, Ah. And finally, we had a little bit of help around and she was like, Go for a run.

Lexi:

You have to get out of here now.

Jaecy:

They say, you know, it's obviously science backed that the exercise helps. I just tell people, I'm like, don't even have to exercise. Just go outside.

Carrie:

Just take a walk.

Connor:

Touch grass. Take thirty minutes.

Lexi:

Stand up

Carrie:

in the yard.

Jaecy:

Yeah. Do something. Mhmm.

Carrie:

Mhmm. Really good advice for dads.

Jaecy:

Outside for thirty like, just

Carrie:

do good for the the wives listening to to also remember to encourage your husband to do that. Oh my easy to be bitter and to be like, I can't move. You sit here with me. And it's like, no, you weren't helpful. This and and why are you tired?

Carrie:

Why are you getting sleep? But it's like, let them sleep.

Connor:

Well rested husband who's like not going crazy is gonna be so much more locked

Lexi:

in for And you were. When you had that.

Connor:

Just take thirty minutes and then you're so you're so locked in for the next six hours This or

Lexi:

is this is exactly the reason why three nights ago now, I was like, this is this is the final straw. We've done it. Because she was sleeping in our room, in her bassinet. It was it's one of those the cribs that's a bassinet that grows kind of things with on wheels. So she was in her little mini, mini crib at the foot of our bed.

Lexi:

And I was nursing her and we were doing everything in our room at night, changing her, nursing her, everything. And so I was up and awake and alert and he was just getting like not actual sleep. It was like passive rest. And it clicked- I saw a video on TikTok, and it was a mom who explained like, Why would I want both of us to be operating from a deficit? I need one parent to have rested.

Carrie:

Need my teammate to

Lexi:

be rested if I'm Yeah. And that's when it clicked. Was like, Oh girly, I love you. You've been evicted from our bedroom. The lease has ended.

Lexi:

It's time to get your own place.

Carrie:

Because you can pop out and nurse her and do that and slip out and he can get his rest. Yeah. Because I don't mind that. Like Mhmm.

Lexi:

We get in my in my mind, it's like, well, this is my job. This is my job as you know, and this is what I'm doing. And so I really don't mind it at all. And now he like, the last two days have been like, we can move mountains. Oh.

Lexi:

We can do anything. Oh, yes. Because we've gotten rest and she's sleeping so much better in her room.

Carrie:

It's awesome. Yeah.

Lexi:

I'm having a nice pet that experience. I highly recommend and I know a lot of it was like a little bit of anxiety, like postpartum anxiety of like, I just want near because that was our hyper fixation thing for the first, like, week and a half, two weeks was she's gonna spit up and choke and sleep.

Jaecy:

She's gonna

Lexi:

Choke and die

Jaecy:

in her sleep. Yeah.

Lexi:

Yeah. We were terrified. And

Connor:

New fear unlocked when you have a kid. Gosh. Everything know that was a thing. And now you're just

Lexi:

Yeah. Amount of times that we've Googled, so when does SIDS end? How soon does it

Carrie:

end? Yeah.

Lexi:

Totally up. Okay.

Carrie:

Oh, cool.

Lexi:

So we have a lot of time left. But yeah, no, it's it's been incredible.

Jaecy:

It's been a great change.

Lexi:

Not having her in a room or in our room and just trusting that she's safe. Yeah. Like, you know, I didn't shake my baby today, and I'm not putting a blanket over her face. Yes.

Carrie:

Right.

Lexi:

She's gonna be her crib, but, like, she's gonna be fine.

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Connor:

Yeah.

Lexi:

Turn the monitor on, and you said you gave me the great advice of turn it to, like, 2

Carrie:

Mhmm.

Lexi:

Not all the

Carrie:

way to 5. Mhmm.

Lexi:

So you can hear him cry, but you're not hearing him grunt.

Carrie:

So you're gonna hear him cough. Cough. You're gonna hear him cry. You're gonna hear him moan, but you're not gonna hear every little because baby little newborn sleepies are pretty loud.

Jaecy:

So loud.

Carrie:

And they're so cute. But when it's 3AM

Lexi:

it's like, hey.

Carrie:

Hey. Yeah. When he slept in our room, I just stared at him all night long. I was like, just I can't.

Lexi:

Yeah. Truly. I mean, and we she literally sounds like a herd of pigs. Not even one pig

Jaecy:

That's pig party.

Lexi:

Herd. And so we say, like, you can you can have a pig party in your room from four to 6AM. That's your business. Yeah. You can have you can make all the noise you want in your room, but we are getting sleep.

Carrie:

Yes. Well, because you're you're better parents for it. We experienced that for sure just with our personally, I felt like once we started getting at least one of us, but once we both started getting some level of sleep that wasn't me staring at him in the bassinet all night. Right. We just we functioned better and we Yeah.

Carrie:

We were and we were enjoying it so much more. That was a huge thing. Yes.

Jaecy:

Yes.

Lexi:

Oh my gosh. Yes. Because we do I mean, we're just obsessed with her.

Carrie:

Yeah.

Lexi:

I've never taken so many pictures of one thing in my life. Have like 150 pictures of her just sleeping, and they all look a little bit different.

Carrie:

Yeah. Just to me. Save them. Because now we look back at all of his little ones and we're like, oh my gosh, he was so small. It's crazy how fast it changes.

Carrie:

So I hear snoring. This is so precious. I I guess final question for you guys. Thanks for being on. This has been so awesome.

Carrie:

Hope other people

Connor:

to constantly adjust cause my back hurts so bad. Oh, great. I'm like, there's gonna be someone watching that's just like, this guy looks like he's

Carrie:

really uncomfortable. Guy's so uncomfortable.

Jaecy:

The topic? Is it the Yeah.

Carrie:

Just your back. It's your back.

Connor:

This is my back seizing.

Carrie:

So for a couple that is nine months pregnant, they're about to have their firstborn next week Mhmm. What would you what would you say? Like, what would be your encouragement?

Lexi:

Get in bed and stay in bed. Yes. I'm literally I got that advice and I didn't take it. Alexis Bamina. I'm so mad at myself.

Lexi:

Get in bed and stay in bed. Take at least a day where you're just in bed, just laying there. Get your laptop and turn on a show and just And then take the longest, hottest shower you can ever take in your life. Shave every hair off of your body, wash your hair 10 times. Like, take as long as you can because you will never do it again.

Lexi:

You will literally never do that for at least

Jaecy:

Just a hiatus.

Lexi:

Just until they, like, start. But even For then college. Yeah. Like, eighteen years. Eighteen years.

Lexi:

And even my mom says, like, I talked to my mom about it. And she said, even if, like, if Zadie and I are home, my sister is named Zadie. If we're home, like, visiting home and she needs to shower, even then now that we're adults, she takes a quicker shower. Mhmm. Because just that, like, subconsciously.

Carrie:

Oh, that's so interesting. That makes sense. I feel like now that, finally, now that he goes to bed a little bit earlier Mhmm. I'll be like, he's asleep. I'm gonna go have an evening.

Carrie:

And I'll, like, stroll and I, turn on the hot shower.

Jaecy:

And I'm like, yeah. I will

Connor:

say that to encourage you guys.

Carrie:

Yes. Yes.

Connor:

Five, six, seven months Mhmm. We feel like normal people again.

Jaecy:

Yes. That's great.

Connor:

Like, you can take a long shower. Yeah. Carrie put on self tanner yesterday.

Carrie:

Guys, I did. I'm blowing and it is January.

Connor:

It's like, it it starts to feel less just consuming.

Carrie:

Less all consuming. That's true.

Lexi:

I'm saying

Connor:

having a child is just part of your life.

Carrie:

Yes.

Lexi:

Yeah. Rather than they're not running your life.

Connor:

You can be well rested and you know?

Carrie:

That's really good

Jaecy:

advice for all.

Connor:

It's different for everybody, but, like, even yeah. It it gets

Carrie:

It does. It does. Rest. I just might say rest is such good at I

Jaecy:

know there's always everybody's like, oh, I got all these things I wanna do right before the baby comes. Like It doesn't matter. Take care of the big things, but like Yeah. You will you will figure it out.

Carrie:

Mhmm. Because I think that's

Lexi:

the biggest thing that I've one of the biggest things that I've learned is they say, like, the trenches. And you think of trenches, think of, like, chaos and busyness. And I think really what gets you is the monotony.

Carrie:

And the quiet. And the quiet.

Lexi:

And just the constant, like, a b c. Mhmm. A b c. And so it's actually hi. So it's actually not as, like, crazy as I thought it was gonna be.

Lexi:

Mhmm. It it and so

Carrie:

I agree with that.

Lexi:

Yeah. Like, you don't need to have everything done. Mhmm. Because also like oh, I know. Because in their room, say, like, you don't need to have the nursery done.

Lexi:

They're really not spending a lot of time in there anyways.

Carrie:

Yes. Oh, that's very true. You you can change that later. Anywhere. Yes.

Carrie:

Like, do it later. On floor. Yes. That's that's really good advice. That's what

Lexi:

I would

Carrie:

say. Man, this has been awesome.

Lexi:

This has been so fun.

Carrie:

Thank you so much. Thank you. This was so good. Hey. Was a perfect little

Lexi:

Leave it. Joy. Yeah. She's right now, she's in the phase, then the six week on phase where she's either sleeping for thirty minutes or two hours and thirty minutes. It's like, hey, who knows?

Lexi:

Flip it cool. What's it gonna be? We don't know. So this has been lovely. I'm so happy that she stayed asleep.

Lexi:

I know. She did a great job. Yeah. Also, baby acne

Carrie:

is normal. Oh, yes, it is. Baby Baby

Lexi:

is normal. They're not a freak and they're It goes away.

Carrie:

It goes away. Just put breast milk, if you can. If you have breast milk, put it on their

Lexi:

face and after a couple days, it's going to be gone. Not allergic to everything you're eating. That was another thing. I was convinced that she was allergic to every single thing I was eating. It was

Carrie:

just baby acne?

Lexi:

Just baby acne. So just baby acne.

Connor:

Oh, have another question really quick. Hello. Your favorite piece of gear.

Carrie:

Oh, so far. What are

Connor:

you using? Are you like from your registry or whatever? Like, what are you using the most and what

Carrie:

is When we say gear, it could even be something like it could be a diaper. It doesn't matter.

Connor:

Oh, yeah. I just mean, like, baby items.

Lexi:

I wonder if yours is the same as mine.

Jaecy:

I know what yours is.

Connor:

What? You may each have an answer.

Jaecy:

But not the aspirator?

Lexi:

Oh, I do love the aspirator. I love the Owlette sock. Yes. Yes. Love an Owlette sock.

Jaecy:

Would mine.

Lexi:

And I love our baby

Connor:

carry

Jaecy:

Just for

Connor:

peace of mind.

Jaecy:

Mhmm. Yeah. It's peace of mind. Don't don't stare at it. Don't hyper fixate.

Jaecy:

Just take care of your child. Set them up for success. They'll be okay. Mhmm. The Owlette sock is an accessory.

Jaecy:

It just it's not the

Lexi:

The end all. Mhmm.

Carrie:

Yeah. But it helps.

Lexi:

Yeah. But it helps. Yeah. I also love our stroller. Man, I'm obsessed with that thing.

Connor:

Shout them out.

Lexi:

I I love a Grayco Classic. Classic Grayco. What is it? The is it the four in one?

Jaecy:

Couldn't tell you.

Lexi:

I don't know. It's the it's a deluxe traveler or something.

Connor:

Oh, woah.

Carrie:

It's an almond. Cool. That's the color is almond. Oh, yeah. It is cute.

Carrie:

I've seen

Lexi:

it. I love it so much. My favorite thing to do with her right now is because I'm a grocery store person. I like my peace is found in a grocery store. I don't know why I love going grocery shopping.

Lexi:

And so

Connor:

I think that new Gelsons is gonna be coming

Carrie:

I'm so excited.

Lexi:

Oh, I'm so excited. I love putting her in the stroller and walking and using the

Carrie:

bottom part of the stroller So fun.

Lexi:

As the cart Yes. Because it also limits how much I

Carrie:

can get That's true. Which he loves. You can only

Lexi:

take so much back. You can only take so much. And I just love walking around the grocery store and talking to her and telling her what I'm getting. And she's just like, bing bing bing bing. It's great.

Lexi:

Man. Yeah. What is wait. What's your favorite gear? Well, I think

Carrie:

it depends. When we were in the newborn phase, some of my favorite like my must haves were actually nipple pads.

Lexi:

Oh my gosh. Yes.

Carrie:

Those are incredibly helpful. I didn't need them as much as we got further with nursing, but in the first few like, the first month, are you kidding me?

Lexi:

Like, all

Carrie:

the time. Oh gosh. Yes. And then I just loved a diaper caddy around me because I would nurse from different places and I was kinda sore. Yep.

Carrie:

That was like a huge in the early phases, those are my must haves and the wrap. The wrap that you have her in right now. I loved the baby wrap.

Connor:

In this current phase, we just got one for Christmas. Oh. The front facing was just telling you guys before started rolling. Front facing baby carrier.

Lexi:

Yep. Oh. Like a frog walk

Connor:

and he's

Lexi:

seen world.

Carrie:

We had mom cozy.

Lexi:

Mom cozy and Frita are the two Those brands that I'm like

Carrie:

are great.

Lexi:

Great brands. Yes. Oh, also, the, milk catchers. So I hardly ever have to pump Oh. Because I catch on I one don't use a haka.

Lexi:

I use their the Boontroves. And they're circular, so you can just fit it right inside of your nursing bra. It's amazing. So I hardly ever have to pump. Oh, that's so nice.

Lexi:

Yeah. It's incredible. Oh, I love it. I love that gear.

Carrie:

It's good stuff.

Lexi:

Sick. Little gear style. I love gear.

Connor:

You guys are crushing it.

Carrie:

Yeah. You guys are crushing

Connor:

I'm excited.

Lexi:

Man. Love you guys so much. Love you guys. I just love I it's so it's like, ugh, I want 10 more. I love it so You guys are such natural.

Connor:

Run, Jaecy. Run.

Lexi:

Run away. Withhold. Yeah. But Well, thank you for having us all. Thanks for being on, guys.

Lexi:

Is so fun.

Carrie:

All the way across the street. All the way across the street.