Mike Parsons: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Moonshot Podcast. It's episode
Mark Pearson Freelanf: 225.
Mike Parsons: I'm your co-host, Mike Parsons, and as always, I'm joined by Mr. Mark Gsen Freeland. Good morning, mark.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Good morning, Mike. Good morning, Moonshot's, family listeners as well as viewers. Today we are diving into a brand new episode
Mike Parsons: still within this idea of
Mark Pearson Freelanf: self mastery and mindfulness series, Mike.
Mike Parsons: It's pretty exciting, mark. We are hopefully gonna create some good vibes today.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: That's right because listeners and viewers today, we are diving into a brand new book within the Moonshots Library, and that is good vibes, good life, how self-love is the key to unlocking your greatness by Mr. Vex King. VX King is relatively new on the scene.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mike, he's done a [00:01:00] couple of books now, but I tell you what, if you dive into the reviews, the synopsis, all about good vibes, good life. It feels bang on with the moonshots message. I think there's a lot that you and I as well as our listeners, subscribers, viewers, and members will uncover and learn from today's book, don't you think?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah, it was. It was like,
Mike Parsons: Crazy. Like earlier you were reading out, uh, a tweet from Vex King and we were just laughing that in one tweet he had sort of summarized like, all the mega themes that we have encountered studying all these authors and, and experts do. Do you have it handy? I think we gotta read it out because honestly this just sets up not only the great thinking of Vex King, but I think also some topics that are very near
Mark Pearson Freelanf: and dear to our heart.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mark. I think you're right. And, and in fact, I think Vex King knew that we were gonna release a show on his book because he only tweeted it out a few hours ago today prior, [00:02:00] prior to recording Mike. So Mr. Vex King, uh, tweeted out earlier on, the best plot twist is when you turn pain into purpose, setbacks into success, losses into lessons, heartbreak into healing, rejection into resilience, and obstacles, into opportunities.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: If there was a tweet that helped you and I articulate the moonshot's lessons that we do and the learning out loud that we're conducting each week, I think that's a pretty good writer, isn't it?
Mike Parsons: I would have to agree, max. So where do we wanna start
Mark Pearson Freelanf: this adventure? Well today, Mike, and listeners and viewers, we're gonna dive straight in.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: We're really focused on this idea of self mastery, forgiveness, mindfulness, and so on. So let's hear straightaway from the author, Mr. Vex King. Chat to us about how when it comes to our unhappiness, we can be in control, and that happiness is
Mike Parsons: actually a choice.
Vex King: I think it's [00:03:00] understandable if people find it difficult.
Vex King: To listen to that phrase, happiness is a choice. And think, actually, no, this is happening in my life and I can't be happy. I completely get that. What I found from experience is that we always think that happiness is this destination, right? So we go about our lives believing that happiness will come. When our desires are met, but this is what actually happens.
Vex King: You have a desire, you meet that desire, the feeling of happiness goes almost instantly, and then you're onto the next thing, and then you're onto the next thing. You wanna get the new iPhone because you think that's gonna bring you happiness, and then the new iPhone comes out. You get that happiness and obviously wears off.
Vex King: And now you're onto the. The new model or something else. And that's basically saying that [00:04:00] happiness can never exist where you are. It has to exist somewhere in the future. And I think if we live our lives in that particular way, then we are gonna go through our entire life, never actually understanding what happiness is.
Vex King: We are gonna con consistently chase happiness, but never actually find happiness because our desires are always gonna change because we always change. Because change is the only constant in life. So I think happiness is a choice. Basically reminds us that actually we have the power to access happiness at any given mo moment, and that's by either changing our perception of what's in front of us or making a choice to change something in our lives that will contribute.
Vex King: To our happiness, and that's why I believe that happiness can be
Mark Pearson Freelanf: a choice.
Mike Parsons: Oh, mark, the chasing of [00:05:00] happiness. Oh, the elusive thing That always seems to be in the distant future. Right? It's,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: it's
Mike Parsons: crazy, isn't it? How everybody says, well, if I have lots of money in a big house in a faca, then
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I can be happy.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Right? Yeah. That's so true, isn't it? And it's funny, this idea of delayed gratification, I guess you could call it, because we are all and, and, and, and I think Vex hits it on the head. It's certainly a behavior that I've had in the past. You'll constantly look forward to that next big thing. Maybe it's a holiday.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Maybe it's the weekend, maybe it's, uh, something social. And by doing that, by constantly looking forward to that next thing, you really do gloss over what's happening right here, right now. And I think straight off the bat, Mike, we are hearing from Vex King speak to us about, uh, being a little bit more, let's call it present.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: You know, that was one of the key things that we were learning from Don Miguel Rs, wasn't it? The idea of being in the moment [00:06:00] and, uh, noticing things and enjoying life as it. Uh, passes us by, so to speak, as opposed to constantly looking for that next big hill, the next big thing that we're gonna celebrate.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And by only chasing those goals,
Mike Parsons: you, you don't really enjoy
Mark Pearson Freelanf: that journey, do you? Yeah. It's,
Mike Parsons: I think it's this, this dangerous path where we're always looking to the future and to look at others. And I think we've had this as a clip on the show where, uh, someone was talking about this, this rich person, um, thought they were doing pretty well.
Mike Parsons: Until they compared themselves to this other person. But then that other person, when they moved into this nicest estate, they lived next to this other guy and this other guy had even more money. I can't remember which show that was. Do you, do you remember? Recall the clip and it was the guy moved next to Michael Jordan and then Michael Jordan met Jeff Bezos.
Mike Parsons: And [00:07:00] basically there's this thing that we all face, whereas we're looking outside. At these perfect Instagram lives at these happy, healthy, rich people. So we're always like, oh, I've gotta do better. I've gotta do better in the future. Um, I could be more successful, uh, happiness will be achieved then at this point.
Mike Parsons: But this is like Vex King is saying to us, he's doing a big Eckhart Toll here. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down here and now. And what's really interesting, what we discovered in the show, Um, that we did on Eckhart Toll and that whole mindfulness series is the only real moment that we truly have is the now because the pastor's gone and the future hasn't happened.
Mike Parsons: So we only really have now. So dreaming of some future state to the detriment of where you are now and the good things that you have now, like it's, for me, it's like an [00:08:00] interesting exercise mark. Um, right now, can you breathe? You can breathe, right? Oh yeah. Okay. That's a win. You can sit comfortably. Oh, that's another win.
Mike Parsons: Oh, you're in a nice room. You've got a nice cup of coffee. Oh, all of a sudden, if you unpack things, oh, by the way, even though you grew up in England, you now live in Sydney, right by the harbor. Like, oh my gosh, that's good vibes right there, right? And you can access that. And this is like so powerful. You can access that right?
Mike Parsons: Now that is your
Mark Pearson Freelanf: choice, right? Mm-hmm.
Mike Parsons: And this is something I've learned is that you can choose to smile or not. You can choose to be grateful in the moment or not, and these things are choices. Now, while this might sound so simple, mark, I believe it's so powerful if you just want to take. The monkey off your back, you know, get those dark storm clouds of Mordor out of [00:09:00] your life.
Mike Parsons: It's tapping into the moment and going, wow, I can breathe. I'm sitting. I'm comfortable. I'm having a great conversation with a friend. Wow. Okay. That's a lot to like about that. A lot of good vibes. What do you think?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I, I think it feels very in line with what we were starting to learn with the Dalai Lama when we did his book, the Art of Happiness, because this idea of not being a prisoner, Really, really came up and where I interpreted the work from Dalai Lama with regards to happiness was about giving yourself the space to actually notice and appreciate those good things.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. Rather than being beholden to feeling, you know, maybe a little bit rough because something hasn't quite gone your way. And the message that we heard from Vex just then I'd feel very in line. Is it very in line with where the Dai Lama was coming from? Mm-hmm. Because you can choose. Yeah. It
Mike Parsons: is in your ability.
Mike Parsons: It's in all of our ability
Mark Pearson Freelanf: actually, [00:10:00] even though it doesn't really necessarily feel like it. Mm-hmm. The truth is we can, if we work on it enough, if we think about our mindset, uh, strong enough, and maybe it's mantras, maybe it's a lot of other. Tools that we'll dive into in today's show. There are, there is within all of us, the capability to actually enjoy
Mike Parsons: each of those moments.
Mike Parsons: Reframe,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: yeah. Those struggles, those obstacles as we heard from Vex King's Twitter, uh, a tweet earlier. Yeah. You know, we can turn that rejection into resilience obstacles, into opportunities. That feels very much Mike, in line with I think, where we were really learning a lot of advice and, and good tips within that happiness series, particularly from the likes of the Dalma.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: But even Neil Pacha. Yes. He really drove us towards that space and that pursuit of happiness, didn't he? So why
Mike Parsons: do you think, when we have this clear choice, why do you think we struggle with making the choice, mark? What? What do you [00:11:00] see in yourself in others? Why is it not always
Mark Pearson Freelanf: easy to choose to be happy?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I
Mike Parsons: think
Mark Pearson Freelanf: there's, there's a couple of things for me that I find distracting when I'm trying my best to go on this journey of maintaining, you know, positivity, happiness. Yeah. Or as Vex Kim would call it, good vibes is it's very difficult. Until you've, you've managed to practice it a lot to stay focused.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mm-hmm. It's very easy for me at least, to become a little bit untethered. Mm. You know, like a, like a, a ship in a storm. Mm-hmm. When the anchor is down. It might be very, very quiet underneath, you know, under the water, the anchors, you know, fully embedded. But actually the boat can be rocking around a lot Yes.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: On those waves. And I find that the advice from, you know, vex King or any of the other individuals that we're, we're finding within the Moonshot Show is to accept those bumps, those waves, ah, and not let it distract you from, you know, what you're trying to accomplish and, and the ultimate goal that you're trying [00:12:00] to do.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Cause at the end of the end of the day, It is up to us how we feel. We're, we're the only runs. We can be influenced by others. We can be influenced by the opinions, even the emotions of others. Yeah. But if
Mike Parsons: I
Mark Pearson Freelanf: want to try and change the emotions and the behavior that I have, I. It only comes down to me.
Mike Parsons: So do you think it's that moment where, um, Yuko wiling says problems good.
Mike Parsons: Like he builds this default reaction of, oh, there's a problem. Good. That's life. Right. And do you think a lot of us, are we triggered too much into fight or flight? Like we are like problems? Uh oh. Run for the hills. Do you think that's perhaps the greatest? Challenge that we have to like, for sure. Right.
Mike Parsons: Why, why do you think so many people run for the hills and, and don't choose for happiness? Do you think they're just consumed by fight or [00:13:00] flight feelings? Like what happens?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I, I think it's, it's similar insight to what we were learning with Mark Manson, the subtle art
Mike Parsons: of not giving a, because
Mark Pearson Freelanf: he really made the case that it's up to us how we interpret.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Other people. The other events, yes. That we might see, yes. The things that might happen to us. Again, it's very in line with, I think where Wa, Yoko Wilin was, was leading us towards, and very, again, similar, nicely timed with Vex King's tweet and actually the core of this book, you know, mindset and so on, because it reminds me we can go out and run into those struggles.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Every day. In fact, we're going to, yep. It's always gonna be hard. I think the hardest thing to remind yourself and almost ground yourself with is because sometimes you just don't know you can control it. Right. Sometimes we've, we've really, I totally agree. Our lives. Yeah. Right. You, you, you don't really [00:14:00] know that you are so powerful in controlling or at least influencing your reactions.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yes. Your feelings, your emotions. Unless you try and put it into practice. Yeah. So for me, I think a lot of us don't really know that. Yeah.
Mike Parsons: I th I think you're absolutely right. Two really profound insights that we've had on the show that really resonate with me is
Mark Pearson Freelanf: life by default
Mike Parsons: is hard. And I think that's a shock for a lot of
Mark Pearson Freelanf: people.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Like, oh gosh, why is this so hard? Like, why are,
Mike Parsons: why isn't nothing working? Um, So that was, that's a profound thought right there. Like, and David Goggins says it best, life is the best, the toughest competitor you will ever face. Yeah. Yeah. So if you just change your expectations of life and go, okay. All right.
Mike Parsons: Because I [00:15:00] am alive, I am signing up for the hardest game in town life. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Then two, My outcome is something that I have to fully and completely
Mark Pearson Freelanf: take responsibility
Mike Parsons: for. Like my situation is on me and ain't on nobody else because if I fall into the trap of saying, wow, he, she, they did all
these
Mike Parsons: things.
Mike Parsons: That is one slippery slope where you are not taking any ownership whatsoever and you expect everybody else to be doing you a solid and you're just gonna be really upset with life. If that is your expectation, it's on you. And then the third thought that comes after that is if you have said, life is tough, it's on me.
Mike Parsons: And then here's the third thing that we've learned from the show. I can choose. For happiness, I can choose for resilience, I can choose for a growth mindset [00:16:00] problems. Good. Once you get that order of thinking together and work really studiously to make it come true, and it's like it doesn't happen overnight, nor is it something that once you are there, it will take its own trajectory.
Mike Parsons: You have to
Mark Pearson Freelanf: keep working. On it every single day.
Mike Parsons: This is the, yeah, I mean, once you learn to embrace this idea that if you're not going forward, you're going backwards. If you're not working on yourself, you are going backwards. And if you're not doing that every single day, there's no time for like,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Hey, I'll just be a slob for a
Mike Parsons: day, a week, a month, a year.
Mike Parsons: Because even the greats, like David Goggins, he wrote his whole second book. Around the idea. He got a little, uh, he got a little lazy.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: He got a little, uh, yeah. Well, e exactly.
Mike Parsons: And, and, and he was like, whoa, whoa. Hang on. You are never finished. Which was the title of [00:17:00] his book. So this order of thinking can unlock so much positivity.
Mike Parsons: So many
Mark Pearson Freelanf: good vibes, don't you think Mark? Ah, I really, really do. And I think already we're starting to see just how many connections we can make. I mean, we've only heard one clip, Mike, we're already, we're already vibing. As Vex Kim would say. Who, you know who more in the tank?
Mike Parsons: Yeah, there is. And you know who else has got some good vibes happening?
Mike Parsons: There's a whole cohort of people
Mark Pearson Freelanf: who are feeling some seriously good vibes. There are not only, uh, certain percentage who have been with us for over a year, Mike. Man, we just keep on expanding and that indeed listeners and viewers are our moonshots members. So please, without further ado, please welcome Bob, John, Terry, Ken Ditmar, Marj, and Connor, Rodrigo, Lisa, Sid, Mr.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Bonura, and Paul Berg, cowman. David, Joe Crystal, Ivo, Christian, Sam, Barbara, [00:18:00] Andre, Eric and Chris. All of whom have now made it into the annual membership group. Like, I mean, that's, that's a pretty meaty group, but, Alongside those individuals. We have a whole host of people who are also joining us since then, including Deborah Lase, Steve Craig, Daniel Andrew, Ravi, Yvette, Karen Raul, PJ Niko, Ola, Ingram, Dirk and Emily, Harry, Karthik, Vanatta, Marco Rogers, Steph Ga,
Mike Parsons: Anna
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Raw, ni, Eric, Diana, Wade, Amanda Christoff, Denise Thereza, Bo, Laura Smitty, and Corey.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Andre Gala, max Beram, Daniella, and our brand new member Mike, who's joined us very, very recently. Mike, that list is getting longer and longer. It
Mike Parsons: is well done, and your reading of it is getting better and quicker and smoother and you can, doesn't matter what nationality, what continent people are from, you're handling those tricky names with.[00:19:00]
Mike Parsons: Great. Um, so this brings us to our next clip and I think Mark. The, the scene that we've set is there is a choice and you can choose to live with good vibes and with positivity, and you have an opportunity to plug into your emotions and to really be the best version of yourself. So why don't we jump into this next clip where we study the work of Vex King.
Mike Parsons: Good vibes,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: good life. Do you struggle
Early Unicorn: to maintain a positive mindset and live your best life in today's fast pace and stressful world, it's easy to get caught up in negativity and lose sight of the good things in life. But what if there was a way to break free from this cycle and start living a more fulfilling and joyful life?
Early Unicorn: That's the premise behind Good Vibes, good Life, A book by Vex King that has become a popular guide for anyone looking to improve their mental and emotional wellbeing. From the [00:20:00] importance of self love and gratitude to the power of visualization and manifestation, king's insights can help you transform your life and start living the happy, fulfilling life you deserve.
Early Unicorn: There are three main points we can learn from this book. Number one, understanding the law of attraction isn't enough, and mastering the law of vibration and managing emotions is crucial. Number two, boundaries are essential in social interactions. Number three, you have the power to choose positive or negative seeds for your subconscious mind.
Early Unicorn: Without any further ado, let's
Mike Parsons: dive deeper into each of these
Early Unicorn: ideas and explore how they can help you eat a more fulfilling and joyful life. Mastering the law, vibration and managing emotions is crucial. Have you ever noticed how your mood can affect the people around you and even the events that happen in your life?
Early Unicorn: This is the essence of the law of vibration, which states that everything in the universe is made up of energy that vibrates at a certain frequency. The law of vibration emphasizes that your [00:21:00] emotions play a significant role in shaping your reality. It's not enough to simply manifest your desires. But rather, you must genuinely believe in them and channel your emotions towards your dreams.
Early Unicorn: By doing so, you can align yourself with your aspirations and take meaningful steps towards making them a reality. Research indicates that if you consistently spend time with negative individuals, it can affect your own mood and behavior negatively. This highlights the significance of choosing your company wisely and surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, even if you don't always feel like it.
Early Unicorn: Smiling and maintaining a positive mindset can activate the release of feel good hormones. Leading to increased joy. Boundaries are essential in social interactions. Setting boundaries entails establishing personal rules that define what behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable in your relationships.
Early Unicorn: This helps clarify expectations and if someone oversteps those boundaries, they can understand their mistake and make amends. [00:22:00] It's important to remember that setting boundaries is not about hurting others, but rather prioritizing self-care. Here are three simple steps to start setting boundaries.
Early Unicorn: Identify situations causing stress. Determine what you want for yourself, and design how much time and energy you are willing to invest. Setting boundaries promotes personal growth and prevents for sentiment towards others who dictate your life. Allowing you to pursue your own desires freely. You have the power to choose positive or negative mind in life.
Early Unicorn: You have the power to shape your mind's workings. Imagine your beliefs as seeds that take root in your unconscious mind, either leading to a joyful, serene garden or toxic wasteland. To change your reality, you must identify. And weed out limiting beliefs that impact your life negatively. Nina, replace them with empowering beliefs such as feeling stronger, receiving compliments from friends, or feeling empowered by physical accomplishments.[00:23:00]
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Changing your reaction and your interpretation of life Sounds pretty attractive to me, Mike. I think this idea of the law of vibration is really where Vex King has, uh, created
Mike Parsons: something
Mark Pearson Freelanf: a little bit more unique.
Mike Parsons: He's really
Mark Pearson Freelanf: calling out this universal law, so I'll quickly break it down for you a little bit more.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mike. This law of vibration is actually, uh, a very, very interesting idea that reminds us that everything is moving. Nothing rests in life, whether it's the situation that we might have with a job per se, or a family situation, or maybe just how happy we're feeling. But everything moves, nothing rests, everything vibrates.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And that idea is really where Vex King has started to lean in towards with his book, which I think is a great extension and build on some of the other. Experiences and lessons and frameworks that we've learned from other moonshots individuals. I, what do you think, Mike? Do you believe that the universe is in constant movement?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: [00:24:00] It's in constant flux? Yeah. I, I,
Mike Parsons: that almost comes back to that point that we were talking about before, that you, you can't stop, right? You're never, you've never made it. You've always gotta be growing, learning and so forth. So I think that's really in line there. I think also to the simplicity of this vibration idea.
Mike Parsons: Is is this, this is when I see it in, in practice. People who are open, who are good listeners, who are working hard and choosing to be of a growth mindset. You naturally want to hang out with these people.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mm-hmm.
Mike Parsons: That's for me this law of attraction. Whereas if someone is like, oh, I'm always so busy, I'm always facing a number of challenges, it's
Mark Pearson Freelanf: really,
Mike Parsons: I don't know how I'm gonna get through.
Mike Parsons: Um, whilst we all have [00:25:00] compassion, the reality is when people stay in that mode, it's like it's physically exhausting to
be
Mark Pearson Freelanf: around them, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? And, and it's, it's a truth that we have probably noticed in other people. Mm-hmm. We may have noticed our such and such as being a bit of a drag recently.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: The truth is we probably don't notice it in ourselves. That's right. Yeah. So there's probably times in my life when I've had my friends or family
Mike Parsons: members almost thinking,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: oh, something's, something's going on with Mark. Yeah.
Mike Parsons: And, and like there's again, we talked about acknowledging. Emotions, but, but when you dwell particularly in negative emotion, like it's just not cool to be around people that are stuck there, right?
Mike Parsons: Because it, it starts to, at a certain point it's a bad vibe for you, right? Mm-hmm. So you're like, I need to get away from this, from my, you start sort of protecting yourself. Um, that's right. I think also too, you know, [00:26:00] setting of those boundaries that they talk about, um, this really made me think about the idea.
Mike Parsons: Of, in order to love the people around you, in order to do right by the people around you, you've gotta do right by yourself. Did you have a little bit that feeling when we were listening to this idea of setting boundaries for yourself? Not so much penalizing others, but to set yourself up
Mark Pearson Freelanf: for success? I, I think it, that's the big reminder, isn't it?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: You've gotta be strict, you've gotta be disciplined.
Mike Parsons: With your,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: um, behavior. Mm. Your mindset. Mm. You've gotta keep yourself in check because you can rely on others to help you along the way. You know, we, we've heard from the likes of Jordan Peterson talking about, um, uh, ownership. The idea of if you want to try and stick to something, maybe tell somebody else and then they can help you and hold you accountable to actually delivering on that.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yes. Let's say promise or, or behavior. [00:27:00] But I think you're right, it really just comes down to. Really forcing ourselves to notice and keep ourselves in check through some of the techniques and habits and tools that we've, we've probably spoken about a lot on the show, Mike, particularly for me, with journaling.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. When I've found myself in let's, let's to use Vet King's language here when I've got myself in a bad vibration. You know, maybe something's on my mind. It's very distracting. Maybe that's actually negatively influencing the conversations I'm having with others. The collaboration that I'm trying to do is, you know, not, not really working out as much.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: The way that I'll try and recognize that will be through pattern recognition. So, for example, uh, I'm, I'm probably not alone in this, but I'll often be picking up my journal more regularly if I am feeling a little bit off. Mm-hmm. You know, the old adage, you only really journal when you're in a really good headspace.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Is, is what Matthew McConaughey always caught out to us. No, no, no, no, no, no. He said it the other way. Mark, [00:28:00] Matt, he, he should do it all the time. Yeah. He
Mike Parsons: said, we only tend to journal when we're having tough times. He said, we should also journal in the good times so that you know, Oh, when I do these things, good things tend to happen.
Mike Parsons: And when I do those things, that's when the bad things are tending to happen. So he was like playing both of them, but you're absolutely right. Like hit the journal and get it out. Like we talked about the acceptance and acknowledgement earlier. Like to me, if you want good vibes in a good life, You gotta be journaling so that you can get the stuff that's bothering you, get it off your chest.
Mike Parsons: And, and, and to me it's almost the ritual of writing it out until you're like, I don't wanna write about that anymore. Yeah. That's almost, you've got rid of it. Right. That's almost a, like a prova. Okay. You've dealt with it because you don't need to go back to it. Do you ever find that, that you need to journal on something for a couple of days to really work
Mark Pearson Freelanf: through it?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. I, I really find that the way [00:29:00] to. Maximize the value that I'm giving myself. And what I mean by that is build myself up into a, a situation or a mindset perhaps that gives me the best foundation to then go out and collaborate, have communication with others, and do the best work that I can. Is when, when I've put some stuff into practice, I guess it's kind of like getting you a body ready for a marathon or, or anything of.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Of high endurance, I suppose. You kind of wanna stretch, you want to think about your nutrition. Yes. You wanna make sure you're hydrated. Yes. That few days,
Mike Parsons: as you were saying of, of journaling,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: getting yourself into that honest head space and starting to remind yourself of those good habits. Yes. I think you're right.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: It can take, it can take time. Yeah. But the truth is who is the controller of when we start. That stop clock, it's us. Yeah. Who's the individual who's going to help us pick up that journal and give it a go? [00:30:00] It's gonna be us, isn't it? Yeah. It's,
Mike Parsons: it's absolutely true. I think the, the combination of the journaling to deal with particularly challenge or things that
Mark Pearson Freelanf: are, that you see
Mike Parsons: that are working as good, I think also returning, uh, like if you want to program yourself towards good vibes.
Mike Parsons: I think the other thing that I do every single day is, I use affirmations as a practice to really define who I am and what I'm gonna be in life. And I find this is also a very good way to prime your subconscious. If we go to like the classic Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, or whether we go to Vex King some 70, 80 years later, the thread there is.
Mike Parsons: Prime your subconscious with positivity. That is your choice, right? If you need to perk yourself up a bit, say your affirmations, say them out loud, say them [00:31:00] twice, say them three times. Do you know what's super geeky? Mark? I have. I have a recording of my affirmations that I update every couple of months, and there will be times where I listen to it on repeat, just repeating.
Mike Parsons: Two minutes of affirmations. I'm just priming
Mark Pearson Freelanf: the subconscious. I, I do really think that this has a, an insight that has come up a few times now for us, Mike, and I think Vex King has, uh, you know, given this nice emotion or behavior, I suppose that connection to this idea of vibrations, because I think you're totally right.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Another thing that this reminds me of is, is TBE Shaha. So he had a great insight that we learned through his book. The um, uh, happier was the book, actually. Mm-hmm. Tbe Shaha is Happier. He spoke about post-traumatic growth. And the idea being that when you do struggle with something, you know, whether you [00:32:00] reflect on it like you do with journaling, we hold ourselves accountable.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Maybe we have, uh, recordings of mantras and so on to keep us in that good vibe space. I think it's also the acknowledgement or acceptance and reminder. That actually those obstacles can be really positive. It can be things that we can, we can learn from. And this idea of post-traumatic growth, uh, specifically around
Mike Parsons: you found that hard, that's okay.
Mike Parsons: What are you
Mark Pearson Freelanf: gonna learn? What are you gonna go and do next? That feels like a mindset that, again, comes through in good vibes, good life. If you are going to unlock that greatest version of yourself, it's down through. Interpretation of events, it's awareness of how you're feeling and it's about taking control over how you react to those different experiences in different situations.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah, and we've seen
Mike Parsons: timeless advice that we've studied on the show. Um, for example, there was a, an Emperor of Rome who [00:33:00] before he made any decision, would say the alphabet completely just to slow down. Um, And like, I think this, um, this other thing that we saw in the mindfulness series, which was don't rush to judgment, right?
Mike Parsons: Because that often when you judge the situation and others, particularly when you don't have the full information, Can lead you to assumptions, it can lead you to judgements that really emotionally get you all fired up for the wrong reason. Yeah, and sometimes just playing it cool as a cucumber, don't rush to judgment.
Mike Parsons: Just like take it easy. You maybe you don't know the whole situation. That's a great way to keep those potentially negative responses and reactions down. And then you can choose to prime yourself with the positive ones. But Mark, I think we've still got a bit more work to do in acknowledging how we
Mark Pearson Freelanf: feel, don't you?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: We do, indeed. We've got another, another clip coming up now. We're digging [00:34:00] into Vex. We're digging into his ideas around mindfulness. Digging into the advice that he has in creating a way of having good vibes as well as his good life. And he's got this next idea that he's gonna introduce to us, which all about, uh, which is all about acknowledging how we feel and specifically the ironic
Mike Parsons: process
theory
Vex King: when in psychology that basically says that if we try and process, uh, sorry, suppress certain thoughts, they're more likely to surface.
Vex King: And I think that's really, really important, especially when it comes to your emotions and your thoughts, that if you try to suppress them and pretend that they're not there, actually what you're doing is you're giving them more momentum. And I think when people think of positive thinking, actually they're not responding and they're not practicing.
Vex King: Responses. What they're practicing is dismissing, suppressing, getting rid of, and that's why it continues and it continues, and sometimes it becomes really, really intense. So the simplest way [00:35:00] to change your thinking, to change your emotional state, and I promise you this, this works if you really try to do it, is to just acknowledge.
Vex King: The thought or the emotion because a lot of the suffering actually comes from resisting it, and that's proven by the ironic process theory. So simply by just saying, I feel this way, and you can say it out loud, and now that you've acknowledged it, suddenly that particular emotion or that particular short thought doesn't have the same power it did over you.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Ooh, now we're getting pretty deep.
Mike Parsons: Mark, did you think we could
Mark Pearson Freelanf: get this, this deep on the Moonshots podcast? Look, I, I think this is, this is a hard-hitting truth, isn't it? We, we started the show, this idea of, um, forgiveness and so on, but really where we're going now is we've gotta make sure we hold ourselves in check.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. Because the, the, the theory. That [00:36:00] vex is really revealing to us there, which actually I, I, I think he's, he's totally
Mike Parsons: spot on. If you
Mark Pearson Freelanf: do dwell
Mike Parsons: in that
Mark Pearson Freelanf: negativity, it's hard to, to get out of, and instead by ignoring something and not revisiting, not running it down, not recording it, putting it your man truth.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I think for me, at least the times when I have intentionally ignored a, a, a moment of discomfort, something where I'm feeling. You know, Ooh,
Mike Parsons: something's upsetting me here. I feel a bit negative,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: maybe a bit paranoid, maybe a bit, um, unsettled. Mm-hmm. It does give it more power because you just put it off in instead.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: It's kind of like leaving a pot on the stove. Yeah. It's gonna keep on sitting there boiling until you, you
Mike Parsons: tend to it.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And, and that for me is, is, as we've already discussed, tended via journals.
Mike Parsons: Um, talking to others
Mark Pearson Freelanf: as well as finding habits and practices that Yes, that kind of get us out of those things.[00:37:00]
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. Um, so here's the interesting thing with this thought,
Mike Parsons: which is I think what happens when I look at myself and I look at others around me is that when, when bad things, negative things, When challenges, when unexpected failures happen, we often are quick to feel disappointment, frustration, anger, shame, right?
Mike Parsons: So what happens is when something looks like one of those bad things coming along, we don't wanna entertain that feeling, right? So this comes back to that order of thinking that we were talking about before. I think you have to accept that bad things are gonna happen.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Uh, you
Mike Parsons: are gonna take ownership for it.
Mike Parsons: No, no, no point blaming others, but you can choose. Not [00:38:00] the events will happen, but you can choose how you respond. Yeah. That is totally within your power. That's totally within your control. And I think that if you acknowledge. That was a bad thing and I'm feeling pretty angry about it, but I'm gonna sit and journal on this and reflect on this and get this out of the system.
Mike Parsons: Like, it's almost
Mark Pearson Freelanf: like a purge, isn't it, mark? It is. That's, that's how I often associate
Mike Parsons: the clarity that I
Mark Pearson Freelanf: feel. Once I've done a little bit of journaling, it's as though the. Clouds and not necessarily clouds full of rain, but clouds that just make everything a little bit murky
Mike Parsons: mm-hmm. A little bit clouded over mm-hmm.
Mike Parsons: Are a lot less, a lot less heavy, a lot easier to deal with
Mark Pearson Freelanf: once it has been put down on
Mike Parsons: paper. And
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I find that we've referenced this idea when it comes to productivity, the [00:39:00] idea of making sure that you, uh, let's say deliver on your, your objectives and so on. Through the act of something like writing a table of contents, scribbling down where your thoughts are with regards to a particular idea, also relates heavily to how we can manage our personal lives and personal development.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Mm. So writing those down exactly as you say, Mike, it feels lighter. Oh, feel, uh, easier to deal with once I have.
Mike Parsons: Uh, expelled
Mark Pearson Freelanf: all of those ideas and, and put them down on paper. I think the similar idea for me and where I'm making the connection is when I've got a project that's weighing on my mind, the best thing you can do is lay out a foundation first.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Maybe think about where you're leaning towards at that early stage. And then start to build on it over, over a couple of days. You know, like you say, Mike, journaling sometimes can take a couple of days to really get into the Yeah. Swing of it. Yeah. Maybe you haven't picked it up for a couple of weeks or a couple of months.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Yeah. Or maybe [00:40:00] a couple of years. Yeah. Once you get back into the swing of it, suddenly you feel as though you've e you've lightened that load such a, a huge amount.
Mike Parsons: I think as I was listening to you then, like I'm thinking about the best habit that we could all you, me and all our members and listeners could develop, and I feel like it's this, when you feel one of these really clear emotional responses to something, particularly those that are negative, anger, sadness, frustration, these kind of things, try and be objective.
Mike Parsons: And acknowledge that feeling like, I think we can get so caught up into the supposed
Mark Pearson Freelanf: problem or the, the trespass, they did this. I
Mike Parsons: can't leave it right. But if you can more focus on they did this, and as a result, I feel really angry, this ang Angerer feels like, looks [00:41:00] like, write it down and just get it out.
Mike Parsons: Get it out. I think the key thing is when you notice these really heightened emotional responses to events or things that people do, if you can train yourself or build the habit that you will always say, okay. I need to acknowledge that feeling. I need to write it all out. And that's certainly what I'm trying to do these days.
Mike Parsons: Whenever I have these things, and I can see it in my journal. When I revisit my journal, you can see that I'm really working through it, trying to get it out of the system. It's like if there's all this steam building up in the engine, I'm trying to loosen the gasket so that Steam can go, and here's the thing.
Mike Parsons: If you give it time and space, often you can not only diminish the emotion, but the choice of how you would've reacted instantly versus in three or four [00:42:00] days, the choice of reaction is very different,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: often less
Mike Parsons: crazy irate response to some supposed trespass or problem, but you're like, eh, okay. So that really, really frustrated me, but I'm moving on.
Mike Parsons: And that's such a better way to respond to something than like, you know, going to World War III, for
Mark Pearson Freelanf: example. I mean, I
Mike Parsons: think you're totally, you've, you've
Mark Pearson Freelanf: created a good build there, Mike, and it again reminds me of, of the Dar Lama who was calling us out within that show about training the mind. I think all of these individuals, including Vex King, Are calling out to us and telling us, or encouraging us to kind of start training, start getting ready because as you say, I, I love the idea of seeing that steam coming out your ears.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And now with the, there were a video first podcast, Mike, maybe one day we'll start to see the, uh, the steam coming out. Oh, listen, we [00:43:00] get, we gotta get the
Mike Parsons: studio ready. We gotta get, um, steam special effect, a little bit of 3d.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Let's do it. But, but the, all the consistent here is, uh, and I wrote down the word reception.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: The idea is you've gotta be receptive to those situations, and it's very, very hard. I, I think personally, to
Mike Parsons: maintain a,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: a balance to those moments within my life when I don't really wanna be that receptive to, maybe it's uncomfortable, maybe it's disappointing. By reflecting on it, journaling and just practicing, it gets easier each time.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: It's like anything in life, isn't it true? You get better by repetition, by practice, and I think what's interesting is when you apply that behavior, this habit of, of repetition, being receptive and so on, to something like your, your life, your happiness, your mindset, it's exactly the same transferrable skills, so to speak, as, as doing [00:44:00] it for any other.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Practice, isn't it?
Mike Parsons: Oh, you're absolutely right there. And I think like the, the, the journey that we're going on here is one of make good choices. Know that this positivity and taking care of yourself so you can take care of others is an incredibly generous, humble way to go about life, which gives you the chance to.
Mike Parsons: Really tackle all the obstacles that are gonna come your way. And as Ryan Holiday said, the obstacle truly is the way. So you need to employ some good vibes, good life. And if you do this, I think not only can you be a better version of yourself, mark, I think
Mark Pearson Freelanf: you can learn to love yourself. I think so. I think you're right.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And this idea of of loving yourself really leads us nicely, Mike, into actually our closing clip for today's show. On Good Vibes, good Life. We're gonna hear from Vex King once again. He's gonna leave us with some pretty timely [00:45:00] advice on
Mike Parsons: loving yourself. The one
Vex King: key rule for high performance life is to love yourself.
Vex King: And that's gonna sound wishy-washy to like explain it. My definition of self-love. Is that it's a balance between accepting yourself as you are and knowing you deserve better and then working towards it. Another way to reframe that is that self-love is the daily promise that you make to yourself to prioritize your wellbeing, your mind, body, and spirit.
Vex King: A lot of you might be thinking, well, how do I actually embark on this journey of self-love? And I've got this acronym. I seem to love acronyms. Um, and the acronym sounds kind of kind of paradoxical, I suppose, but the acronym's crap. That's with the two As. Okay. The C stands for care and it's to just take care of yourself and your needs.
Vex King: The R stands for relationships. [00:46:00] Nurture your Most Important Relationships. Manage all your relationships, implement boundaries when you need to, and also let go of the relationships that you've outgrown. The first, A stands for action, which is take action on your goals, on your dreams, take action on your daily tasks and chores.
Vex King: The other A stands for appreciation, which is more about gratitude and it's appreciating where you are, who you are. What you've achieved in your life and also the people that you have in your life. And the P stands for purpose, and that's basically just living, uh, a meaningful life.
Mike Parsons: Wow. Okay. Once again, vex King Wise, beyond his years, one might say, um, I'll, I'll read that, that little acronym back to you here.
Mike Parsons: Care, relationships, ambition and [00:47:00] Appreciation. With a little chaser of purpose. Mark, these are all good things. I mean, he says it all, I don't know where to
Mark Pearson Freelanf: take this. This is
Mike Parsons: almost a whole new podcast.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: I mean, you're right. We, we could have done the whole show on, on that acronym. Really, I think the one that stands out to me, Mike, is ironically
Mike Parsons: the, the last one actually.
Mike Parsons: The idea of purpose,
Mark Pearson Freelanf: because that really speaks to a lot of the work that we've done on the show around this idea of, of legacy, of, uh, comfort,
Mike Parsons: of forgiveness. You know, once
Mark Pearson Freelanf: you've figured out your, let's, let's give it a name, your icky guy mm-hmm. For a framework that we've obviously covered
Mike Parsons: on the show
Mark Pearson Freelanf: before.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: If you have your Ricky guy in mind and your purpose, it then makes your decision making. First of all, it makes your decision making.
Mike Parsons: Probably a lot easier because you just have to
Mark Pearson Freelanf: compare the decision or the outcome, whether that's in line with your iki guy or not, but also it, it provides you a little bit [00:48:00] of structure.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: When it comes to analyzing or appreciating some difficult moments in life. Mm-hmm. You know, it helps you st. For me at least, it helps stay grounded if you've got a perception in mind and and purpose of where you're gonna go suddenly, I think it makes it a little bit easier when I. You know, the, the darkness comes around and things start getting a little bit tricky.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Which, which of those five moments, Mike, uh, standing out to you within that acronym?
Mike Parsons: Ooh, I do like the per, I mean, I love them all. You know what? We're like, it's hard, hard to pick. I know it's hard to pick your favorite children. So the thing about purpose mark is I think if you know what you are fighting for and you know you've got your icky guy, I believe, This serves so many useful things.
Mike Parsons: Here's in a super practical manner, let me try and explain this one. If you know your purpose, then when you've hit the rough waters, you know this is all [00:49:00] part of the journey towards the destination. So I know that I'm gonna encounter some really tough problems to solve, but I won't give up because I know this is.
Mike Parsons: What I'm meant to do. Right? I know that training's gonna be really hard because I've said I wanna run the marathon, right? Yeah. That's a a really clear example. Another thing here is what you can do when you have your purpose is you can ask yourself, well, what does this look like every day? And so, I know I'm living my best life when I get to bed early.
Mike Parsons: When I awaken without the alarm, when I stretch and breathe and meditate in the morning when I journal in the morning, I could go on and on throughout the whole day, go for some walks, exercise, eat healthy. These are all things that I make really
Mark Pearson Freelanf: ritualistic
Mike Parsons: habits because they are all part. Of being the best version of myself.
Mike Parsons: Mm-hmm. Same thing with [00:50:00] my work. I wanna work with nice and talented people. So if they are not nice and if they are not talented, then I know for my own self-love that I don't want to work with them. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So these are all ways of making choices that are in line with your purpose and so you reinforce your icky guy.
Mike Parsons: And I think, you know, many of us face moments where if we're not. Working on ourselves and reflecting on our choices. You know, to go back to your sailing ship metaphor, we've kind of sailed off course and sometimes it's, we have to get quite lost before we go. Hang on a sec. I'm not on course to where I was meant to be going.
Mike Parsons: And so I think the, the, the, the. Value of having clarity on purpose, icky guy is that you not only face the rough seas when you get them, but if you are sailing off course you can bring yourself back on course. Mm-hmm. So there [00:51:00] are some times Mark, where I don't get to journal or stretch in the morning because I got a really busy agenda and I have to get up really early or I'm flying or whatever.
Mike Parsons: Yeah. I think, you know, James Clear said it really well, like miss once. That's okay. Missed twice and you've, you're basically losing the habit. So that's a real, really good rule to bring yourself back on purpose, um, to bring yourself back on track, um, is to know what it looks like as a habit so that you just literally all, you gotta think about day to day, did I run exercise, eat well, sleep well?
Mike Parsons: Did I spend good time planning the day? Yeah. Did I do some deep work? I have good connection with my colleagues, these sorts of things. Like once you see the absence of those two days in a row, then you know what? Oh, warning. Warning.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Well, it's funny. Uh, we, we wouldn't, if, if it was the same with sleep and you were missing, you know, a, a certain amount, you'd start to notice, wouldn't you?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: You'd start
Mike Parsons: to physically feel
Mark Pearson Freelanf: it. And I think the [00:52:00] same, uh, perhaps a little bit of a tangent, but I feel as though maybe there's a case to say it's,
Mike Parsons: it's pretty similar. Yeah. It's just as important because
Mark Pearson Freelanf: it helps you feel
Mike Parsons: and act the a better
Mark Pearson Freelanf: version the next day. So if you prioritize yourself, you prioritize how you are reflecting on things, you're not percolating or, uh, as vex calls it, you know, you're not, uh, pursuing that ironic process theory.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Instead, if you are keeping yourself accountable, keeping an eye on it and
Mike Parsons: revisiting, you know, ideally daily. You probably are keeping that habit because you're right.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: How easy is it to lose and break a habit and create one from scratch? Yes. Yeah, yeah,
Mike Parsons: yeah. I mean, this is, this is not only a powerful acronym, the crap
Mark Pearson Freelanf: a, a, a acronym thing.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: So good. What
Mike Parsons: don't I running Twist there? Yeah. But but what a, what a great new expression of how to in sort of enjoy. Not only positive [00:53:00] thinking, so it's not just rah rah, but also growth mindset at the same time. Mark, it's been really refreshing. Take on, you know, positivity, so I gotta hit you up. We've covered four big clips, lots of ideas from Vex King.
Mike Parsons: Which one is sticking out to you? Which one are you gonna be thinking about for the rest of
Mark Pearson Freelanf: the day? I, I think the real call out that Vex has here is maintaining a good, positive outlook and not necessarily one where you're walking around singing and dancing and saying, isn't life great? Instead, it's just maintaining a bit of a positive mindset.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: And as he puts in the title, you know, self-love being the key to, to unlocking it. So I think for me, Mike, it is that ironic process theory. Yeah. We, we end up becoming what we don't pay attention to. Yes. So if you are neg, if you feel like you're a bit negative and down in the dumps, instead of putting it off to one side and allowing it to exist [00:54:00] instead address it, look into
Mike Parsons: it, get a little bit uncomfortable.
Mike Parsons: That is the way to
Mark Pearson Freelanf: probably speed up the healing and also make yourself a little bit more resilient and stronger next time. I think there's a lot in that idea personally that, that speaks to me. What about you, Mike? I mean, thi this is a, a, a new territory for us with, with Vex. What are you, uh, really, uh, sticking to today?
Mark Pearson Freelanf: Well, I'm reminded
Mike Parsons: so much of our happiness series that happiness is like, um, being fit. It just doesn't happen without the training and the the workout program. Yep. And I'm really just like, this is reinforcing to me that happiness is a choice, but it's a daily habit that you have to work on. It is not this future aspirational destination.
Mike Parsons: It is something you need to work on to manifest every day. Otherwise, all you are doing is living in anticipation of. [00:55:00] Someday in the distant future when I achieve all these amazing things, only then I will be allowed to enjoy happiness. Whereas I could say, well, I can hear lots of birds chirping this morning.
Mike Parsons: That makes me happy.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: That's a choice. How good is that? Yeah. It can be something so simple, a small choice. You appreciate the taste of your coffee in the morning. Yeah. Something small like that sets you up perfectly. Totally.
Mike Parsons: So Mark, I wanna say thank you to you and thank you to all our members and to our listeners too.
Mike Parsons: So here we are, getting another good dose of positivity on showed 225 with Vex King and his work. Good vibes, good life. And we had four big ideas, starting with perhaps the biggest idea that happiness truly is a choice we can make every day. So what we need to do is channel our emotions and get the good vibes into our life to really get those positive vibrations going.
Mike Parsons: And part of that on the other side is [00:56:00] to acknowledge how we feel when sometimes we're a little blue. We can acknowledge it in order to move on, because on the other side of moving on is loving yourself. And if you do that every day, if you have that self-respect, you are opening the door to realizing all of your potential, being the best version of yourself.
Mike Parsons: And that is what we are all about here on the Moonshots podcast.
Mark Pearson Freelanf: That's a wrap.