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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hi, everybody. And welcome back to another Finding Hope podcast, Getting Through What You Never Ask For. And this is a title and a subtitle that we purposely have to help you, to help people in general get through what they never asked for. Because it's tough. The things that come into our life, the difficulties that people hit, get hit with.
Charlie:I mean, things we hear about, I'm just like, oh my gosh, help me Jesus. Some of the difficulty that some people have to deal with. We lost our son, seventeen years ago now, and that was the most tragic thing, tragic thing that we have ever been through. But others have also, had similar things. And I don't want to say worse because everything is horrible, but there have been some difficult situations.
JIll:Yeah, there sure have. I know I got news this week that a friend of ours whose son took his life. Yeah. And they've lost multiple relations in the last six months to a year besides their son, it's just been uncanny. And now one of her best friends who's like a sister to her, she lost her son to a drug overdose in the last week.
JIll:And so this young man is like a nephew to my friend. And just the suffering is so incredible.
Charlie:And you know, we had a text, a new friend of ours, a young man actually recently saw our podcast for the first time. Know him. We met him recently and he said, I'm gonna look at your podcast. So he came back and he said, Charlie and Jill, he said, thank you. He said, you have a unique space.
Charlie:You know, these young people use these fancy words, you know, you have a unique space in the body of Christ is Charlie and Jill because you're addressing some things that very few people are addressing. Yeah. And you know, we could have victory for the day podcast. We could have God is on the Throne and You're a Winner podcast. And I love all those.
Charlie:I get blessed. I get encouraged by a lot of those podcasts. But you know, our hearts have been broken and, and the Bible tells us, told us, the Lord spoke to us, said comfort others with that same comfort. Our hearts were broken. We lost our son.
Charlie:We want to help you get through your tough times, whatever situation you might be going through. Yeah. And I think one of the questions that people have when they're going through pain is, does anybody understand? Does anybody know?
JIll:Yeah, because you just feel so isolated.
Charlie:Right.
JIll:And, and, and you're not always comfortable just wearing your grief for others to see. You hide it. Right. Because you just don't, you don't want others to judge you and think less of you.
Charlie:Right. You're hiding it so they think you're okay. Right. And so, but then no one really knows what you're going through. So people it's kind of a tricky thing.
Charlie:The whole grief journey is a very tricky thing because like you say, you don't want people to know you're grieving, but at the same time you feel isolated because you are grieving and no one understands. That's why we talk so much about on this podcast about safe friends.
JIll:Right. Oh, Friends that so
Charlie:you're close enough with that really know you. Hallelujah. We need people that really know us and really understand us, like I've shared so many times about John Donnelly putting his hands, Charlie, how are you really doing? You know? So we need those kinds of friends.
Charlie:And, and you know, but we wanted to talk today about a scripture, a couple of scriptures that really just jumped out, of the page to me, recently. And, we're gonna call this podcast, I think we're gonna call it, The God Who Sees. And I think that's the theme of what we want to talk about, is that even when no one else sees, no one else understands, God sees and God understands.
JIll:You know, I just love talking about the God Who Sees. I mean, it's so special because we can't hide from him. And not only we can't hide from him, but when we think he doesn't see us, he does.
Charlie:Yes. Especially in our pain and in our suffering. You know, that's the beautiful thing.
JIll:Yeah. And so you mentioned the story of Hagar. Hagar was serving Abraham and Sarah. And, she kinda kinda got caught in the middle of a conflict there. And then basically was, she became an outcast.
JIll:And so she's in the desert and, and she's afflicted with pain and abandonment and emotional upheaval, and thinking that she's there alone. And in the middle of that situation, the Lord met her there.
Charlie:And
JIll:that's so beautiful. And Hagar called him the God Who Sees Me.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:I I love know. She was the one that said that.
Charlie:Yeah. He sees when no one else sees. And so she was out there feeling like many of us have felt alone. We didn't know what to do, but God was with us through all of our difficulty, through all of our grief, through all of our abandoned feeling. Because I know for us, we felt like we were abandoned by God.
Charlie:And yet He was compassionately still reaching out to us and still saw us in our pain and he and like Hagar he went in and he began to minister to her and he helped her and he helped her get through that difficult situation. You know there's another scripture that jumped out to me concerning this same thing and that is when, Israel was in captivity in Egypt and it says that in, let's see where is it, Exodus three:seven, it says, I have surely seen the oppression of my people who are in Egypt and I have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows. I don't know. Something about that just jumped out of the page where he said, I have surely seen the oppression of my people. So you think God doesn't see you in your pain?
Charlie:But he does. Yeah. And it says, I have heard their cry. I don't know about you, but I cried so much when we lost Bovee. And the Lord said, I've seen your cry.
Charlie:And then he says, for I know their sorrows. So God knows our pain. He knows our sorrows, and it's not like he's just sitting there watching. No. He comes in as the comforter, as the prince of peace.
Charlie:He comes in to try to minister to us, to try to help us get through these really, really tough times.
JIll:Yeah. And that's so important when you're grieving because sometimes you don't even know how to explain your sorrow. Yeah. You know, you just you can't tell others about it, and you you just it's it's just such a weird place, especially if this is the first time you've experienced a major loss, which it was with our son. We still had all of our parents and hadn't lost any siblings or really any good friends.
JIll:No.
Charlie:Wasn't it something?
JIll:Just some distant relationships, you know, older uncles and grandparents and things. For us, it put us in such a strange place. We just didn't know how to express ourselves.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:Or even to explain it to people. And so we just would kind of stuff it away. When we were around others and, you know, like Yeah.
Charlie:And in our church environment that we were in, you know, it wasn't seemingly acceptable to grieve. I say seemingly because I don't want to judge anyone in this situation, but it didn't seem like acceptable because you know, you need to be happy all the time. And of course we're worship leaders. So, you know, rejoice in the Lord, you know, praise the Lord, you know? So it's like we're always, you know, if worship leaders cheerleading, trying to get people to cheer, trying to get people to have fun in Jesus, trying to get people to rejoice in the Lord.
Charlie:And that's what we, you know, it's just part of what we do. We also our hearts, as worship leaders, are to bring people into intimacy. Of course.
Charlie:Connect with God.
Charlie:You know, connect with God. That's our main focus. But at the same time, we're trying to help people get their eyes off themselves and get their eyes on Jesus. So here we are with the loss of our son and our eyes are like, I mean, eyes are blurry from tears, but our hearts are so crushed that we can barely breathe. So we don't know.
Charlie:I mean, yes, we're looking to God with blurry eyes, with teary eyes, and we're wounded. You know, we've been hit by a Mack truck, we're wounded. And so, like you say, you know, it's hard to explain that in our environment. Was really hard to find anyone we could share our hearts with. So what do you do?
Charlie:You just close it in and you play like you're okay. But, but that's not, you know, people just don't understand.
JIll:Yeah. And we've we've, shared this scripture many times before, but in Proverbs fourteen ten, it says, don't expect anyone else to fully understand both the bitterness and joys of all that you experience in your life. You may not have the words, you may not understand yourself what you're feeling. You just don't know because you haven't been there before. You just know that you're hurting.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:But the cool thing about that is God knows.
Charlie:Yes, He does.
JIll:And He sees you.
Charlie:Thank God. And you know, there's another Sorry, didn't mean to.
JIll:No, it's okay. He sees us. Thank God.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:Thank you, Lord.
Charlie:But I was just reminded about another scripture in Exodus, right along with the one I shared just a minute ago. This one's in Exodus six five, and he says, I've also heard the groanings of the children of Israel whom the Egyptians keep in bondage, and I have remembered my covenant. There are two things that jumped out at me concerning that. Number one, he heard their groanings. Listen, when you're in pain, when you're in grief, there's a lot of groaning.
Charlie:I love that scripture in Romans that Romans eight that says, when we don't know how to pray, you know, we pray with groanings which cannot be uttered. You know, I love that thought because I heard someone, someone emailed us back in the day when we were really, really crying a lot and he just said, Charlie, your tears are like prayers to the Lord. When you're crying, God looks at your tears and He looks at your heart, and that's like an intercession. It's like a prayer. I think the groanings of our hearts when we're dealing with losing our son, our children, our mother, our father, whatever it might be, best friend, spouse, those groanings, even just your sighs, oh, God, I can't take it, the pain's too hard.
Charlie:That's all prayers. It's all intercessions that Jesus hears and Jesus jumps in the middle of to help us. He said he makes intercession for us as well. And so Jesus is in the middle of all our pain. And I just, I thank God for that.
Charlie:And the other part of that scripture I wanted to say is I have remembered my covenant, he said, and and God has made a covenant with us. He's made a covenant that he would be with us and that he would help us. Yeah. And that he would comfort us through all of our tribulation.
JIll:Yeah. Amen. So grateful. And I think something really important that we need to remember when we're walking through grief is that the Lord is always near, and he always hears.
Charlie:Yeah. Yeah. And, you know yeah, back to Hagar, you know, he sees us. He's always near. He was near Hagar.
Charlie:She felt like she was all alone out there, but God was there. And I want to read that scripture in Genesis sixteen thirteen, the one we've been talking about so much is another way she put it is that then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, you are the God who sees. For she said, have I also here seen him who sees me? I like that. There's something really cool about that.
Charlie:She just said, Now I see Him who's been seeing me, you know? And so God's just been loving on you, helping you, ministering to you, And I think in our case, we finally began to see that. It hard to see that at first, that He was helping us. The pain was so deep and so hard, but we finally saw, like the footprints in the sand thing. We finally saw the God who was seeing us the God who was walking with us through the sand carrying us through the difficulty.
Charlie:Thank God
JIll:for that. Yeah. I'm so grateful. And I love that story. And I just wanna say to someone who's listening right now, God sees you in your grief.
Charlie:Mhmm.
JIll:He sees the tears that no one else sees. And he sees the nights when you can't sleep because you can't stop reliving the memories. And he sees the empty chair at the family gatherings. And the birthday when the one that's to be celebrated isn't there. And he sees the anniversaries that go unnoticed, except by you.
JIll:And he sees the moments when everyone else has gone home and you're alone with your thoughts.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:He sees it all.
Charlie:Yes, he does. He sees it and he has compassion and love, and he understands our pain. I love that scripture in Hebrews four five where it says we do not have a high priest who cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. He can be touched. And the King James says he is touched with our feelings.
Charlie:Just read that one. The New King James says who cannot sympathize with our weakness. So he has sympathy for us. He cares. He hurts with us.
Charlie:He's touched. He understands sorrow. He understands tears. He understands anguish. That's just I think we just need to really get a revelation on how much God loves us and how much he understands our pain.
Charlie:That's that's the point here. He sees us and he understands us.
JIll:Yeah. And there's probably no simpler verse in the Bible that demonstrates his love and his compassion, outside of the scripture from John eleven thirty five that says just two words that Jesus wept.
Charlie:Wow.
JIll:And where was he? He was at Lazarus tomb. Lazarus had died, and Jesus knew what he was about to do. He knew resurrection was coming, and yet he still wept.
Charlie:Yeah. And that's so important just to know that Jesus was in the midst of that situation, and we have a savior who weeps with us. Oh, man. I love that. That's so powerful.
Charlie:Sometimes people feel guilty when they're crying and grieving. Know we've had people call us and say a year and a half out of losing their spouse and saying, I feel so bad, I know I'm supposed to be stronger than this, I know that, you know, God loves me and and, you know, and I know that my loved ones in heaven, but I just miss them so much, and I'm crying all the time, and I feel so guilty about it. And, they think, well, if I really have faith, then then then I shouldn't be crying, you know? Well, if you really trust God, well, you shouldn't be upset. All this kind of stuff.
Charlie:Well, that's just a bunch of no good stuff because people don't understand. It's not about, you know, our loved ones in heaven. Thank God for it. That's beautiful. But it's about the bro, the tearing, you know, was reading the other day.
Charlie:It says, and the two shall become one flesh. And you know, and when you and I got married, when we made that covenant, we became one and and and God put us together. And when one of us dies, we're gonna feel it. Yeah, we're gonna feel it. Abraham wept bitterly for his wife when she died.
Charlie:And there are other examples of that. And so, you know, we have to understand that. Yes, we praise God that our loved ones are in heaven, but it's okay to cry. It's okay to understand that that ripping that tearing situation.
JIll:You know, grief is not a lack of faith.
Charlie:That's right.
JIll:And neither are tears. Missing someone is not a lack of faith. Jesus didn't condemn Mary because she was crying. He didn't say stop crying. I'm about to fix this.
JIll:But he entered into their sorrow and he wept with them.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:And then John wrote something really beautiful in verse 36. He said, after seeing Jesus weep, the people said, see how He loved Him? And His tears demonstrated His love.
Charlie:Yeah. It's a beautiful thing to think about Jesus, you know, here he is walking, you know, with the disciples and of course he's our risen savior at the right hand of the father, you know, but to think that he came down in in human form became a man, the scripture says, took upon our flesh, and to think that He was touched, as I said before, with our feelings, and He felt what we felt. I think it's beautiful because Him coming down, he was able to experience all. And I think at the tomb of Lazarus, that's what he was dealing with. He saw the pain of humanity.
Charlie:He saw the pain of death. He saw how people were gonna have to deal with this and he wept. And so he wept with those who weep like scripture tells us in Romans 12 weep with those who weep Jesus did it. But we don't feel like we can you know we feel like well you know if someone's weeping we need to encourage them to start praising the Lord. No Jesus wept with those who wept, so we should weep with those who weep.
Charlie:Can I hear a big amen out there?
JIll:Yeah, amen.
Charlie:So you know there were a few other times in scripture, I thought it was just interesting, I'll lay this out real quickly. A couple of times that Jesus wept to show his humanity to show his compassion he wept over over Jerusalem in Luke 19 he he was he was pained over his own brother and his own people and he wept over the city Then over there in the garden we see as he was facing the cross, of course, the scripture tells us that that he sweat became like drops of blood, you know, and it doesn't say right there that he wept, but if you go over to Hebrews, this is like a Bible lesson now guys. Hebrews five:seven, it says, Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings with a loud cry and tears to the one who could rescue Him from death. So we see Jesus actually at that moment in the garden was actually weeping and was actually crying and also sweating drops of blood. We have a savior that understands.
JIll:That's We what I do. It's for sure. Yeah. He understands anguish. Oh my gosh.
JIll:The anguish that he experienced before going to the cross. When I think about that, it almost I almost can't think about it without tears welling in my eyes. Because to think about the suffering that he endured for us. Yeah. It just it just goes beyond my comprehension.
JIll:And so he understands anguish. He understands the anguish that we experience. He understands crying out to God. He understands what it means to face something that you desperately don't want to face. Mhmm.
JIll:So that reminds me of the subtitle of our podcast.
Charlie:Right.
JIll:Getting through what you never asked for. Yeah. Yeah. Understands.
Charlie:Thank God he understands. Another scripture that we share a lot is Isaiah 60 three:nine, In all their suffering he also suffered. And I remember the first time I read that it jumps out of the page to me as well that what? In all of their suffering, he suffered? You know, I don't think in general as the body of Christ, I know for me, I didn't have that concept of God.
Charlie:I thought when I suffered, of course, he would come to my rescue and he would, you know, try to help me, you know, help me get out of the situation, but I never saw him as suffering, hurting with me. I just think that's beautiful. So anyway, God's not standing on the outside of your pain. He's not saying, Get yourself together. He's with you while you're suffering.
Charlie:He's not saying, Pull it all together, get your thumb out of your mouth, nothing like that. He's saying, I love you. I'm with you. I am your comforter. I'm gonna be here to help you get through this dark time.
Charlie:Thank God.
JIll:That's right. He suffers with us and he carries us.
Charlie:Yes, he does.
JIll:Thank God. That jumped out of the scripture at me. In Isaiah 60 three:nine, it says, He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. Sometimes that's exactly what we need. Right?
JIll:Not an explanation, not an answer, not someone telling us why it happened.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:Sometimes we just simply need to know that God is here with us and he is always here with us. And he carries us when we need to be carried.
Charlie:Thank
JIll:God. In Psalm 6eight 19 in the New Living, says, praise the Lord, praise God our savior, for he carries us in his arms. Yeah. That's really awesome.
Charlie:Yeah. That's a great translation of that scripture. Mhmm. And, you know, Jill, reminds me of the song that you wrote that's called So Thankful because you used that line several times that he carries me through pain, he carries me through sorrows, I just love it. Share with them a little bit about that song.
Charlie:I think we're going to try to put it at the end of this podcast as well. Okay.
JIll:Yeah, when I was writing this song when, just in our during our recovery after losing our, our son, and, it was I was just continually reminded of God's tenderness towards us. And, and, you know, carrying us, like a shepherd carries an injured lamb, or a sheep. And so the lyrics to this song, I'll just share them with you. It says, You walk with me through valleys when I'm overwhelmed, and you carry me when my heart is faint.
Charlie:Thank you, Lord.
JIll:You understand my weakness and you cover me with strength. And with love, you surround me again. And you've carried me through trial and you've carried me through pain. And in my darkest hour, you gave strength to me again. And the chorus says, I am so thankful Lord, for all you've done for me, to me.
JIll:And the second verse says, You cover me with mercy when no one understands. My bleeding heart in your loving hands. You gather all of my tears in a holy place. What would I do without your embrace? You've carried me through trial and you've carried me through pain.
JIll:And in my darkest hour, you gave strength to me again. And then it says, I am so thankful, Lord, for all you've done for me. Yeah.
Charlie:You could talk about the bridge for a minute because the bridge is powerful.
JIll:Yeah. It says, you send grace to help in my time of need Yep. And strength to overcome.
Charlie:Thank you, God.
JIll:And we just repeat that line four times. And every time we sing that line, it's just compounding it more into our hearts.
Charlie:Yeah. Amen.
JIll:And then it goes to another chorus. It says, You are so faithful, Lord. And, you're just so faithful. And then we go back to, I am so thankful, Lord, for all you've done for me.
Charlie:Yeah. Amen. Yeah. So he's close to us, and and he carries us. And the scripture says, we say it many times, Psalm 3four 18, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
Charlie:He doesn't stay away from brokenhearted people. He rushes and runs to the brokenhearted. And you know, I've said this many times that, you know, God spoke to me one day, said, Charlie, I never rebuked anyone with a broken heart. He said, I rebuked, hardened hearts, but I never rebuked a broken heart. He said, I have come to heal the broken hearted.
Charlie:So God is with us. He loves us. He'll never leave us or forsake us. He's with us always, even into the end of the world.
JIll:I think we have to really have a brainwashing, you know, in the best sense of the word because we just don't think that way, you know, naturally. You know, the Lord doesn't shame us for grieving.
Charlie:Yeah.
JIll:And He carries us when we can't walk. And there were times that we weren't able to walk, you know, so to speak, you know, in the figurative sense of the word, because we were just hurting so bad, but that's when he was carrying us. It's kind of like that footprints in the sand poem again.
Charlie:That's right. And
JIll:we just really want to emphasize that to you to just change your thinking. God is not shaming you for grieving. He doesn't say, Why are you still crying? You know, it's been long enough now and you just need to get over it. That's not the voice of our Father.
JIll:He is truly a father. It's not his nature. His nature is compassion.
Charlie:That's right. Yeah. I love that in second Corinthians to this one of our favorite scriptures. Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, but really one of the other translations says, the father of mercy is the God of compassion the father of compassion you know interchanges that word of comfort with compassion. I just love that because he has compassion on us when we're hurting We have compassion on you as well because we've been touched with that same pain that many of you have.
Charlie:So we just wanted to say before we close that God loves you. We've been saying it all this whole time. He's close to you. He's not distance. He's not annoyed by you.
Charlie:He's not disappointed in you, but he's close to the brokenhearted. You know, as I said before, he said he's not rebuking you, because, you know, you have a broken heart. Anybody that came to him with a broken heart in scripture, he embraced them. Mhmm. Anyone with a hardened heart, even his disciples, he would kinda give them a little lesson and straighten them out.
Charlie:But, man, when we're hurting, Jesus is close to us, and he runs to us to embrace us and to take us home. We just hope that some of this has been a help to you and that you know you've been encouraged by this. We just want to pray for you right now that God and we want to end with this song too, but let's just pray. Father, I thank you for all of our friends, God, that we get to meet with many of them on a regular basis. And, I just pray God that you touch their lives, that you show them that you see them, Father.
Charlie:That you know them, you see them. God, you're not far from them and help them to see God that see that you see them. Hallelujah. And God that we would all always see how much you care for us every day, every situation that we're in Lord. We just give it all to you Jesus and we praise you for helping us in our time of need.
Charlie:Amen.
JIll:Amen. Well, we just want to encourage you to, hit the like button and share it with someone and subscribe because these things really help us to reach more people. It does affect the algorithms and it comes into more people's view. And so we really appreciate if you can subscribe and like this.
Charlie:Yes.
JIll:And again, like I said, share it with someone that you feel it would be a help to.
Charlie:Yes. And we put out a newsletter, whenever we can. And so get on our mailing list. Yeah. And, and, you know, you can also help us get this message out by becoming a partner, a monthly partner or even a one time donation is always helpful Jill and I have jumped out in this new season of our ministry and there are lots of people that have now starting to come alongside of us and help us as monthly partners and we would really be honored if you would consider doing that as well.
Charlie:So we just really appreciate that. You can see links below about everything that's going on our podcast. We've got a new course coming out too.
JIll:Yes, we do.
Charlie:And that's really exciting.
JIll:It's a video course. It's a video, it's an eight lesson video course that you'll watch online, and it's gonna be really, really good.
Charlie:Yeah. Yeah, we're excited about it. So stay tuned, stay on our email list and check out our YouTube channels and our Facebook channels, all the social channels, Instagram, and you'll see when this thing is ready. Okay, so God bless you guys. You have something else you want to share?
JIll:I just wanted to say, enjoy the song. It's called So Thankful. It's from our album, Your Love Remains, which is on all the different That's the album it's on for the YouTube watchers.
Charlie:And don't forget our book. The
JIll:album is on all the different outlets, Spotify. I think you can get it at Amazon. You can go to our website, charlieandjill.com, and you can download it there as well. So enjoy the song. God bless you.
Charlie:Amen. Bless you.
Charlie:You walk with me through valleys when I'm overwhelmed. You carry me when my heart is faint. You understand my weakness and cover me with strength and with love. You surround me again. You've carried me through trial and you've carried me through pain.
Charlie:And in my darkest hour, you gave strength to me again. I am so thankful, Lord. I am so thankful, Lord. I am so thankful, Lord, for all you are to Lord. We your the
Charlie:to
Charlie:the
Charlie:And
Charlie:'ve carried me through pain. And in my darkest hour, you gave strength to me again. I am so thankful. Lord. I am so thankful, Lord.
Charlie:I am so thankful, Lord, for all you are to me. You send grace to help