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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hi everybody and welcome to another episode of Finding Hope. Getting Through What You Never Asked For. Wow.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, that's pretty heavy.
Charlie LeBlanc:Powerful subtitle that our producer actually helped us come up with. And we, like many of you possibly, have been through some difficult times and it's important that we find hope in the midst of tragedy.
Jill LeBlanc:Sure is.
Charlie LeBlanc:We've got to.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, I mean, this world is pretty hopeless. And, you know, when Adam and Eve blew it in the garden for the rest of us, for them and the rest of us, you know, it was a very hopeless situation, wasn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc:It was.
Jill LeBlanc:And so thank God Jesus came to bring us hope, to restore hope to us.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right. That's right. I'm grateful for that. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:He restores my soul. That's what it says in Psalm 23.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yep. And, had it not been, I like that scripture. It says I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living. And, that's been, I know, our heart and our prayer quite a bit is is and our truth is just that we would have we would be gone if we hadn't had the hope of Jesus Christ in our life and how he has helped us through this very, very traumatic and difficult time of losing our son.
Charlie LeBlanc:If you're first here, first time listening, by the way, we did lose our son in 2009, 23 years old, cancer, nine month battle, just a traumatic loss and very, very difficult, put us into a very difficult place. But, by the grace of God, we've gotten through it and we've learned so much.
Jill LeBlanc:Boy, have we?
Charlie LeBlanc:About God and about, the different things that you go through when you have loss.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm. You know, I speaking of people that don't know the Lord, my sister had a son, I'm sorry, my sister's friend had a son, someone that she grew up with, went to high school with, and later, had a child and he lived ten years and then died. And I think it was like a heart thing or something. And she doesn't, she at the time, she didn't know the Lord. And she was... talking about inconsolable. She was inconsolable. She had no hope.
Charlie LeBlanc:I'll bet.
Jill LeBlanc:And I know that people talk about children, all children go to heaven, which I believe is true, but she probably never thought about, I want to see him again. So I want to make sure that I go to heaven. I mean, she probably never crossed her mind just because she was so, so forlorn for losing him. Just so, so shipwrecked in her heart and it's hard, you know, it's hard to lose a child.
Charlie LeBlanc:Oh gosh.
Jill LeBlanc:A spouse.
Charlie LeBlanc:A ten year old. Hello. We have a 10 year old grandson.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And and I can't I can't imagine the pain.
Jill LeBlanc:I know.
Charlie LeBlanc:You heard something yesterday about a 10 year old that passed.
Jill LeBlanc:I could not believe my ears. It was a notification headline about, these floods that have been happening all over the nation. There was just a bad one somewhere in Texas and a little 10 year old girl. The first notification was a 10 year old girl is swept away by the floodwaters, a massive search going out to find her. Then a couple hours later, update 10 year old girl's body is found down river and you know I just thought you know we have a 10 year old grandson.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And I cannot imagine having to go through that.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. The pain of loss is just beyond words sometimes. People, many of you have had that kind of loss and you understand what we're talking about. But for those of you who don't, we're gonna talk a little bit about some of the things that you go through, when you do, experience just these unbelievable painful events in life, like losing a child. So, um...
Jill LeBlanc:Or a spouse that you're close to or a sister or brother.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. You know, so most people don't really understand unless they've been there what grief is really all about.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:A lot of people think it's just an emotion. It's crying. You know, they're, they're, they're grieving because they're crying.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:But it's more than an emotion that comes and goes. But once you experienced a tragedy or trauma in your life, grief is there. In one hand it helps you to process what's happening and it has different faces at different times.
Charlie LeBlanc:What did you say in the book? It's like, you said, use the word chaperone.
Jill LeBlanc:It's a, yeah. It's like a chaperone to help walk you through a time of loss or trauma that has majorly affected your life. And so we want to just bring some awareness to people that haven't walked through that because I know before we did this with our son, I really didn't have a clue of what that really meant.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And I would just think, they're just taking a while to get over it. You know, for someone that lost someone dear to them and it just was taking quite a while before they were through the grief process and you know, didn't even know what the grief process really was.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:And yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And there's a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, doctors and scientists that have done a lot of research on grief and they've said there's several different stages of grief and I think all the stages hit us at the same time. I mean, it was like anger and depression and denial, and I think all of it was just hitting us. But but, yeah, it's it's it's it's a traumatic situation to go through. And and, you know, but God's grace, scripture says, his grace is sufficient for me. Paul, Jesus spoke to Paul and said that to him.
Charlie LeBlanc:And, and and it's really true. Although you don't always feel that grace in the moment because you feel like you're gonna drown.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc:You feel like you'll never make it through this painful tunnel.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:I remember one time, just shortly after we, Beau had passed, we were walking together. And I was thinking about the fact that Jesus, when he faced the the cross in the Garden Of Gethsemane, that the Bible says he was even sweating drops of blood. And many translations say he was crying out to God and he was grieving. He said, because he saw the pain that he was about to go through and he said, you know, take this cup from me Lord, but nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done. And I remember I thought about that.
Charlie LeBlanc:I thought, you know, Jesus at that one moment had a choice to go to the cross or not. I know he loved us and he decided he was going to do it. But at the same time he was looking for a way out because he saw how hard it was. But I remembered for me, I remember saying, Lord, you had a choice, but I don't have a choice. I have got to go through this.
Charlie LeBlanc:And that was just an interesting moment for me because I thought you can't get out of this. You can't get out of the process of going through, the pain. You know, old song it says, so high you can't get over it, so low you can't get under it so wide you can't get around it. You gotta go through the door. Well, you know, I went through it.
Charlie LeBlanc:We had to go through the door that was presented before us. Now, thank God, God and His grace mercy and His comfort and His peace is right there to walk with us. It says He walks with us through valleys. You wrote a song, we've referred to it before on another podcast, but He walks with me through valleys when I'm overwhelmed, you know, and He does. And we've talked a lot about how He carries us through the difficult times and He does, but you still have to go through it. And some people, everybody grieves differently. Everybody experiences differently. Some people, you know, they bounce back real quickly.
Jill LeBlanc:It depends on the situation.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, exactly. If you, you know, if you've been married for, you know, seventy, eighty years or whatever it is, sixty years, seventy years and your spouse leaves. Yeah, your heart's broken. But, you know, it was a ripe old age. And like my mom, my dad died just three months after Beau died.
Charlie LeBlanc:And, you know, Beau's death just totally destroyed us. And then three months later, my dad gets, you know, he gets sicker and sicker then he passes. Gratefully, I was able to be there when he did, but you know, all my brothers and sisters were just, they were very heartbroken and I was too, but compared to the pain of losing my son at 23 years old or my dad at 87 years old, you know, there was really no comparison in that light, you know, because I love my dad, but he was 87 and he was ready to go. He loved Jesus. He was ready to go.
Jill LeBlanc:He did.
Charlie LeBlanc:But my son, he was not ready to go. He did not believe he would go. We did not believe he would go. And that was the last thing that we wanted, needed-
Jill LeBlanc:Or thought would happen.
Charlie LeBlanc:Or thought would ever happen. Yeah. Getting through what you-
Jill LeBlanc:What you never asked for.
Charlie LeBlanc:Asked for. Yeah. That little subtitle. But anyway, yeah, grief is an interesting, interesting thing to walk through.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:No thought about it. You know, I've got, there's a scripture that has really blessed me and maybe it'll bless you too. I'm sure it will. Proverbs 14:10 in the New Living Translation, it says, don't expect anyone to fully understand both the bitterness and the joys of all that you experience. And I just want you to think about that for a moment.
Charlie LeBlanc:It says you've given us a little wisdom here. He said, don't expect anyone to fully understand what you've been through.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Because you're the only one that really understands it.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And quite often, we're we're trying to get people to understand even our joys. Oh my gosh, this was so awesome. You should have been there. And they're like, oh, yeah, cool. Awesome. That's cool. And, you know, people don't fully understand even all your joy because it's inside of you. You've experienced it.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And it's the same thing with grief and with with with pain. No one can really understand you fully except for Jesus.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:Except for God, the Father, our comforter. But but, you know, don't expect even your best friends to fully understand. You know, what we do expect of our best friends is just to to love us and weep with us. You know?
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:But but they'll never fully understand.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." And boy, we experienced that, didn't we?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yep.
Jill LeBlanc:Gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yep.
Jill LeBlanc:And then in the, in the Good News translation, it says when hope is crushed, the heart is crushed. And it takes a long time to come back from something like that. You know, you think of someone that maybe has their foot crushed in an accident and something crushed is a really severe injury.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:That's what happens with our hearts when we walk through some a tragic loss.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And it just takes time to bounce back and, and yet you're, you're changed forever, but, you know, we can't, people don't, they don't get why it's taking so long
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:Because they don't understand grief.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a heavy word, crushed.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:Because that's that's another really good word for how you feel.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:It's like having a head on accident. You're crushed. You you your heart is broken in the bible terms. He heals broken hearts.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. That's heavy right there.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:God knew we would need this.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:I mean, he knew how broken humanity was.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And and so he sent Jesus to heal the brokenhearted.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. Right. That's amazing that, you know, that shows alone how many how common broken heart broken hearts are, you know, in general.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:It shows worldwide that Jesus knew all the broken hearts that would be there.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so he wanted to he came, he said, I've gotta I gotta fix this too. You know, I gotta help people because there's a lot of broken hurting people.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Praise the Lord. Thank God for Jesus. You know, I've ran into well, in the book, we put several definitions of grief, and, one of them was a was a deep mental anguish as that arising from bereavement or an instance of this of source or a cause of deep mental anguish and annoyance or frustration or an instance of trouble or difficulty or an instance of just pain. Another one says sorrow over deplore or lament, to feel grief, mental distress, mourn. And you know, these kinds of things, you know, you think, well, you know, as a Christian, you don't have to go through this.
Charlie LeBlanc:And that's very interesting because, know, Jill and I had been in ministry for, gosh, how many years at that point?
Jill LeBlanc:Thirty.
Charlie LeBlanc:Thirty plus years.
Jill LeBlanc:About thirty years probably.
Charlie LeBlanc:Full time ministry. We had led worship for Joyce Meyer. We had led worship for Andrew Wommack. We were bible students, bible graduates.
Jill LeBlanc:We would go in churches and they give us the whole service and you'd share the Word...
Charlie LeBlanc:Just lay hands on the sick, pray for people.
Jill LeBlanc:We were ministers.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, and we still are, praise God. But my point is, is that, you know, you'd have thought that any loss that someone who is a mature Christian would not affect them. I mean, at least that's what I thought before it happened to me.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:But, boy, did we learn differently.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:That when it happened, it was crushing and painful and broken and grief and and sorrow. It all hit us. The pain of losing a child or a loved one is, again, beyond words. But but, you know, as I studied the word of God more and more, I realized that grief and sorrow and tears and pain were a very common, common thing throughout the bible. And I like what, rabbi Earl Grollman said. He said grief is unbearable heartache, sorrow, loneliness. Because you loved, grief walks by your side. Grief is one of the most basic of human emotions. Grief is very normal. And, I like that because you think you're going crazy at times.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh that's for sure.
Charlie LeBlanc:But to know that it's okay to cry, it's okay to grieve, that the pain that you're feeling inside is normal. I think I said on the last podcast that I went to my doctor and he, I said, me, I'm crying too much. And he said, no, it's normal. Just hang in there.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. A friend of ours, wrote us after she read our book and she had lost a grandchild. He was only I don't know three and he was a little bit as they would say in England poorly or sickly is what we would say He just had a lot of little things wrong with him and I think he died at three. Anyway, it was horrific for this family and yet she felt she was in such an environment that she didn't feel like she could be honest about her feelings and emotions. Then she read our book and she said, thank you for helping me realize that I'm normal because it's normal to feel, you know, some people in the beginning they're like what is wrong with me? I'm always crying. I can't stop. I I'm dealing with depression and all these things and they don't realize that that's for some people not not for everyone but for some people that's just part of the journey.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And it changes along the way but there certainly are times when you can't stop crying or you know, you you you just you you can't feel anything because you're just so traumatized. And it's grief. All that is grief. That's what grief is.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. I don't know how much time we have left, but I have a a scripture that I would like to share out of 1 Thessalonians, which is very important, and it's and it's very controversial in that 1 Thessalonians 4:13, someone would say, Charlie, doesn't the bible say we don't have to grieve because we're believers?
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, let's talk about that a little bit.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, here's what the scripture says in, I think it's the New Living Translation. Paul said, and now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know, what will happen to the believers who have died so that you will not grieve like people who have no hope. Now I can see easily how and we've heard different preachers say, you know, bless God, we're Christians, we don't grieve, you know, because we have the hope of Jesus. I can see where they could get that from the scripture. But after experiencing grief, way we experienced it as men and women of God, you know, I see this scripture as it's saying that we don't grieve like those who have no hope.
Charlie LeBlanc:We don't grieve with no hope. We grieve with hope. And that's the difference is that we know where Beau is. You know, I've thought about this earlier when you were talking about that one woman that lost her 10 year old daughter and and didn't know if she was saved or whatever. But even David said, I can, he cannot come back to me, but I will go to him, you know?
Charlie LeBlanc:And so that's a real healthy thing to understand and remember. And we know that about Beau, you know? But still, there are seasons and times for everything. And at the beginning to say, oh, we're both in heaven. Praise God. I'm gonna see him again. That did not help us at all. But we grieve, but not like those who have no hope.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. And you saying this reminded me, if you can hold your thought.
Charlie LeBlanc:Sure.
Jill LeBlanc:The day that Beau died, one of his really close friends came over to the house, and he said, said, today is the day that we will be the furthest away from Beau because every day that passes is one day closer that we'll be reunited. And Charlie and I were having a chat before we started this live stream and just noticing our age in the mirror a little more than we did last time, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc:Getting ready for the camera.
Jill LeBlanc:And he says, he says, well, we can't stop the clock. I, and I said, you know what? I don't want to stop the clock. And I don't want to leave this life any earlier than I should, but I don't want to stop the clock because it's-
Charlie LeBlanc:I say, well, do you, wanna die or something? What's wrong?
Jill LeBlanc:It's like heaven is going to be so amazing and we're going to get to live in the reason that we were created and that is to be in God's presence. He created us to be in his presence.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:The only way to get there is to pass through this life. But and so I'm not I'm not wishing it to come faster in one hand, although part of me says, come Lord Jesus because this world is my God.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's true.
Jill LeBlanc:It's so lost. I mean, it's just so bad. But so I'm not wishing for my life to go faster, but I don't wanna stop the process because heaven
Charlie LeBlanc:You get to see Jesus, get to see Beau, and family members.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh my gosh, heaven's gonna be so amazing.
Charlie LeBlanc:Amen. Well, the flip side of that, I've got what Paul said and that is, it'd be far better to go. And he said, I wanna go, but he said, I think it's more expedient that I stay so that I can help more people. And that's our heart in this podcast.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, it's just to help you in any way that we can. We have lots of materials. We have a book called When Loss Comes Close to Home that really I really wanna encourage you to get this book. This thing is powerful. It's got all things, everything in here that we're talking about is in this book. And, it was endorsed by Joyce Meyer and Andrew Wommack. So I guarantee you it will help you and bless you. And we have lots of other tools to help them. I think a download as well.
Jill LeBlanc:Right, if you, on the close of the broadcast or you can look below, there's a link that says charlieandjill.com/welcome. And if you click that, you can go to a place where you can receive a really cool nine step download for the for grievers and their supporters or for the bereaved and their supporters. And it's just little tips. It's taken from our book, but it's just all encapsulated in one spot. So you can have that as a free gift.
Jill LeBlanc:So that'll be a blessing to you whether you're the one walking the grief journey or you're the one walking beside the grief journey. And those of us walking beside need a whole lot more help to be a better supporter because it just doesn't come naturally for everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:Well that's there for you.
Charlie LeBlanc:Amen. Well thank you so much for listening and if you would consider becoming a partner with us and helping us to get this message out, that would surely help us in a lot of ways.
Jill LeBlanc:And if you could share this with someone you know that you feel like would benefit from these messages, that would be great too. And then don't forget to give it a thumbs up down below as well as subscribe because we'd love to stay in touch with you on a more regular basis.
Charlie LeBlanc:Absolutely. Well, praise the Lord. Thank you so much. God bless you. And we'll see you at the next episode.