Racism on the Levels

This episode revolves around the intersections of poetry, creative expression, identity, and racial justice. 2024 Texas State Poet Laureate and Founder and Executive Director of Torch Literary Arts Amanda Johnston highlights the importance of supporting Black women writers and amplifying their voices. The discussion also covers the significance of poetry in reaching and awakening individuals, particularly in the context of social justice and racial inequality. Amanda emphasizes the importance of language, rhythm, and traditional poetic devices in creating powerful connections between the reader and the poem.

Listener Invitations:
• Attend Torch Literary Arts retreat attendees’ public reading on July 25th at The Carver Museum.
• Support Torch Literary Arts and Amanda Johnston's work by donating, attending events, sharing their information on social media.
• Torch Literary Arts is searching for a permanent home/office space in Austin.

https://www.amandajohnston.com/
https://www.torchliteraryarts.org/

What is Racism on the Levels?

Explore how the social construct of race and racial oppression operates at multiple levels with a rotating focus on different social systems. Connect with Austin-area justice movement organizers and everyday people with relevant lived experience to lay out historical context, current affairs, and creative possibilities for a liberated future.

Stacie Freasier:

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. This is Stacie Freasier, pronouns she, they.

Stacie Freasier:

You are listening to racism on the levels, a monthly show that explores how the human designed construct of race operates at the inter internal, interpersonal, cultural, institutional, and systemic levels. So many levels. With a steadfast focus on creative possibilities for liberation now and beyond. I am a justice movement weaver, a kungen nonviolence trainer, a racial justice facilitator, a mother to a son who's gonna be 6 next week. So many other identities, but we'll save that for another day.

Stacie Freasier:

The show's purpose is to hold space for story sharing and information sharing with greater Austin area folks who are shining their liberatory lights. Be they healers, guides, storytellers, experimenters, poets, frontline responders, visionaries, builders, caregivers, disruptors. Shout out to Deepa Iyer for framing those roles, within the social change map. We are broadcasting recording on land, protected by indigenous people who have faced attempted erasure due to violent settler colonialism, which includes the actions of some of my ancestors. This show centers justice and historical truth when faced can inform how we show up moving forward.

Stacie Freasier:

I invite you to join me in reclamation efforts by visiting native hyphen land dot ca. Free Palestine. Rest in power, Bernice Johnson Regan. May your testament live on in many ways to sustain the movement, including through your child Tashi Regan's continued work. My guest on today's show is Amanda Johnston.

Stacie Freasier:

2024 Texas State Poet Laureate, founder of Torch literary arts, comma, comma, comma. I'm gonna let you take it, Amanda, and introduce yourself in all the ways you wish to, including your pronouns. And welcome to the show.

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, Thank you so much, Stacy. That was an awesome introduction. Yes. Amanda Johnston, pronouns sheher. I am the 20 24 Texas State Poet Laureate.

Amanda Johnston:

I am the founder and executive director of Torch Literary Arts, a nonprofit that amplifies and supports black women writers with intention and love. I am a grandmother to a 6 year old sweet grandbaby, and, yeah, loving wife, mother, partner, friend, and person trying to do my best out here. Mhmm.

Stacie Freasier:

Well, on paper, your reading is thriving to me. So I think you're doing a little better than than than your best. That was that was quite humble, but it's really, really great to sit with you. I've actually, I don't I think I first heard about Torch, at Black Pearl Bookstore. I met Katrina.

Stacie Freasier:

Katrina and Eric. Yep. Katrina and Eric. Shout out. And Kidada, who you also are connected with in this tiny, tiny, little, tiny, little city, was my first guest ever.

Stacie Freasier:

This is a continuation of of many,

Amanda Johnston:

Start off high.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. Right. I just I set the bar, like, really high for myself, and I'm, you know, a recovering perfectionist and recovering overachiever. So that that tracks. So, Vanda, I was gonna tell you this before we came on air, but I decided to save it, for everybody to hear that.

Stacie Freasier:

I'm a little nervous, because I am so inspired by your work. Reading your poetry reignited this creative spark in me that has been dormant for a little bit, and I'm not sure why. I'm curious about it. Right? But, wow.

Stacie Freasier:

You just took me on such a such a, creative journey, so thank you.

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, thank you for reading. Thank you for reading. I mean, that part there, that's for you to explore, but I'm so glad that the work found you and and you connected with it. That's really my ultimate hope and desire from the work is connectivity.

Stacie Freasier:

Mhmm. Yeah. And even your, you you are a poet, but you're also other you have other creative forms of expression. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

Yes. I'm also a visual artist.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. And so I think, yeah. I kind of I was so excited that I took a pretty deep dive, and I saw there was a post even that you had, shared some of your creative influences. Nick Cave was one that was mentioned and there were Soundsuits.

Amanda Johnston:

If you don't know Nick Cave and his sound suits, I mean, so much more work than that, but he's really known for those. And this is visceral response to the material that you see that comes through his creations, using different media, you know, and making these really otherworldly, pieces, but they're definitely rooted and inspired in an African tradition. Yeah. Right? So it's like historical and Afrofuturism Yeah.

Amanda Johnston:

All in the same moment. Yeah. Which is what we are. We're all time travelers anyway.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. So you just took me on this kaleidoscopic creative cascading journey through consuming a bunch of art online from other artists beyond you. So thanks again for that. Y'all get go go down the rabbit hole of Amanda Johnston's online presence, would be my invitation to the listeners. So I wanna, root us in place and wanna hear, what your story is as connected to Austin.

Amanda Johnston:

So I was raised in Austin. I was born in East Saint Louis, Illinois, but we came my mother and I came to Austin in 81. So after that, it was Austin, So So we went to Fort Knox while he was stationed in the army and then came back in 05 and have been here ever since. So this is my home. This is where I was raised.

Amanda Johnston:

This is where I raised my family. And this is where, you know, I plan to to stay. School here. So so much of my formidable years were here in Austin.

Stacie Freasier:

Where'd you go?

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, gosh. I went to Wootton Elementary School. I went to Cook. I went to Burnett and Lamar Middle School. I went to Johnston when it was still Johnston, the Liberal Arts Academy, there, and, I also went to Lanier.

Amanda Johnston:

Mhmm. And I started my college journey at ACC. Like, I am totally Austin.

Stacie Freasier:

Yes. I got here as fast as I could. Yeah. I was born and raised in Corpus Christi and, came up here for undergrad in the late nineties. And I also went to ACC for a bit, a few different campuses.

Stacie Freasier:

So shout out shout out to that. Although, I don't I don't think I realized ACC had a mascot at that time. Yeah. But it's pretty cool. So, yeah, I left for 20 years and then came back.

Stacie Freasier:

And so, I've been back since 2021 to raise my family here. And so I'm deeply committed to to making Austen everything it can be through my individual contributions and actions and efforts, and this show is, like, part of part of that.

Amanda Johnston:

That's all that matters. We're we're all, you know, residents of planet Earth for now. I know they're supposed to be there working on making that different. But we're all here. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

And so it's about doing for me, it really is about doing the most good, that you can to be a part of a community back to again, my wish for the poetry is to create connectivity and connections with other people. But it can't just be the poems. You have to show up and be in the community. That's how you create the community that you want to see in Right?

Stacie Freasier:

Yes. And, to bring us to the com the topic of, you know, the primary topic of my show, racism, I had, you know, I had experienced in early childhood primarily racism, against Mexican Americans. Right. I didn't actually know a lot of black families in south Texas and I did have a few black friends, but my anti black race consciousness really developed in my decade living in the northeast. Mhmm.

Stacie Freasier:

And, and so when I came back, I was in Boston DC and in New York for some for some time. And when I came back to Austin, I am so grateful for that education and that awareness and that awakening because, you know, I I do see it as part of if I know something, I share what I know with other people, and, I came back, and I think at that point, which was only a few years ago, that the African American community in Austin had dipped down to maybe 9 9%. And now people Exactly. In 3 years later. So it, you know, it came back to that and it's like, y'all

Amanda Johnston:

-For the for the fastest growing for many years, fastest growing city in the country, to have the black population decreasing is a really loud alarm as to what again, how are we creating community? How are we making people feel welcome here? Because it's not enough to talk about economics. Right? Because people have money.

Amanda Johnston:

A lot of black people live in New York, and New York is very expensive.

Stacie Freasier:

Right?

Amanda Johnston:

I own a home here in Texas. Black people can own homes and live and make choices about where they want to live. But first and foremost, it's do I feel safe here? Do I feel welcomed here? Do I enjoy my community?

Amanda Johnston:

Does my community reflect me? Are there places that I enjoy to go to culturally that other people who look like me are there? Right? And Austin struggles with that.

Stacie Freasier:

Mhmm.

Amanda Johnston:

Austin struggles with that. That's also one of the reasons why I founded Torch literary arts here. I was gosh. It was 2,006, and I was actually just talking to a friend. You might Susan Post, shout out to Book Woman.

Amanda Johnston:

We love, Book Woman, long time friend and supporter of me and of Torch. But Susan was asking me why I was always leaving to go somewhere else, to read or to do, an event. And I said, that's where the invitations are. That's where I'm being asked to come. And, she said, well, I want you to do more stuff here.

Amanda Johnston:

You know? And, I said, you know, maybe we can. And I had some really great experiences with other literary organizations, again, outside of Texas that focused on black poets and writers of color. And I said, I want this in my hometown where I live. And sometimes, you know, not everyone is able to do that, but if you are able and have the resources, and that's not always financial, so be resourceful.

Amanda Johnston:

Came, and quickly. And now we're looking at 18 years this year of torch literary arts amplifying and supporting black women writers. Publishing on the magazine, digital magazine online, we've, featured across the magazine and in person events, readings, and workshops over 300 black women writers from around the world. So, you know, their heads are turning and looking at Austin as a place, as a model because Torch is here. But the community and the investment in organizations like torch, and other BIPOC organizations that are doing critical work in the same way to make sure that their communities are seen and heard.

Amanda Johnston:

We have to continue to radically invest in that to equitable community. We want to have an inclusive equitable community. We want to have an inclusive, diverse community. That just doesn't happen, especially when it has been happen. Mhmm.

Amanda Johnston:

So you said, I mean, 18 years. Yes. 18 years of an

Stacie Freasier:

organization of getting humans together to accomplish something. I mean, that is that in and of itself is a miracle. Yeah. Yeah. So who have been some of the your your your comrades, your coconspirators along the way that just a couple.

Stacie Freasier:

I know you're not gonna catch everybody in 18 years, but who are a couple people that have been with you since?

Amanda Johnston:

Well, you say in the very beginning. So the first issue of Torch, Magazine was published online in 2006, and our very first, feature was Sharon Bridgeforth. So Austin legend, if you know Sharon, she's in LA now, but long time lived in Austin, incredible poet, playwright. I mean, she redefines the genre. She practices and created and coined along with Omi Jones, her wife, you know, working at a jazz aesthetic.

Amanda Johnston:

Right? I was very fortunate that when my husband and I, my family moved back from Kentucky in 2005, I met Sharon and Omi and was a member of the Austin project. So, immediately, I wanted to amplify her voice even more, and she graciously said yes and came on as our, very first feature. Other folks, you know, who have really in in recent years helped us take that next step into establishing Torch as a larger institution so that with more, we can do more. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

An incredible board of directors. Shout out to Sherry Ross here in Austin, Texas. Incredible screenwriter, producer, cultural thought leader said yes to being our board chair for over a decade. Florenda Bryant, one of the greatest actors here in Austin, also playwright, poet, served on our board and as board chair. Omi Osuonolomo Jones, is now on our board of directors and Shannon Johnson, Dana Weeks, Stephanie l Lang, local Austin Knight, all contributing to to Torch.

Amanda Johnston:

And now our most recent board member, which will be announced soon, Aaron Welder, is a community cultural leader, understands development, understarts understands the arts here in Central Texas, also in Austinite, local Austinite. And, Candace Lopez is also I gotta name everyone on the board of directors because unlike some, you know, some nonprofits might have 20 border board members, And they all do incredible things, but our board is small, mighty, and active. And so there would be no work happening at Torch without our incredible board of directors and also our small team. Just, last fall, we were able to hire our first, part time staff members. I'm the only full time staff member at Torch currently, but, shout out to Brittany Heckard, our comms associate, Jayne Michelle, our associate editor, Faith Miller, our associate program programs associate.

Amanda Johnston:

They all make this happen. Showing up, you know, hour by hour, and that that part time status, but doing making a big impact with everything they do.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah.

Amanda Johnston:

And what we do then is hold space for other voices. So again, I can't name 300, but I invite you to learn more about torchtorchliterarts.org and read their work. And now with the support that we are getting from community and from foundations, we're able to pay everyone. So all of our features, all of our readers, if you see someone presenting or publishing it towards, they're getting paid. And that is sadly still rare for artists, but especially for black women artists.

Amanda Johnston:

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Stacie Freasier:

I appreciate you naming several people because just hearing how many people are contributing to this beauty, this creation, this antidote, many fills is uplifting. Right? It's that's cup filling. This we aren't there are so many people who have not lost hope Yes. Who believe that hope is something to invest in.

Amanda Johnston:

Yes.

Stacie Freasier:

Right? And I mean, there are plenty of reasons by getting, you know, online to see that, like, pit of despair, you know, but there you go. Then you start looking around. Right? Who's around you?

Stacie Freasier:

Who's this community? I've been posting about community a lot. A lot of graphics, but it's community. Build community. Lean into your get tighter with your community.

Stacie Freasier:

Like, that more than ever Yes. Ever, ever, ever is gonna sustain us. Yes. Soft my heart.

Amanda Johnston:

It's it's hard to be hateful to someone who's been kind to you. It's hard to accept misinformation when you're speaking directly to the source. About everything that's happening in the world. Right? And I said, well, we start right here with us in this room.

Amanda Johnston:

We got up today. We came here today. We brought our truths and our whole selves into the room, and I think that's a great place to start. As long as you can do that and you can speak, you are brave enough to speak and share, we can do so much.

Stacie Freasier:

If you are just tuning in, you are listening to racism on the levels. I am sitting here in meaningful, deep, real conversation with Amanda Johnston. And if you are tuning in online, k0op.org, we're streaming everywhere. So we got folks in our backyards here at 91.7 FM. We're also online everywhere, and I'm gonna be archiving this so we can share out and share with have the ripple effect happen.

Stacie Freasier:

Right? Hopefully. So, I don't know if this feels like the right time for you to, maybe share something with us. I don't know what you brought today and if you brought more than one piece, but, anything you wanna share to give us some of your own magic.

Amanda Johnston:

Sure. So I mentioned that I was born in East Saint Louis, Illinois. And I've been working on this manuscript, along with other projects. But, this manuscript titled Collecting the Ashes, is about my family, there in East St. Louis, but also my biracial ancestry.

Amanda Johnston:

My mother is white, my father is black, and they my, ancestors lived in East Saint Louis through the 1917 racial massacre and right that happened then. A lot of people know about or and now know more about Tulsa, right? What happened to Black Wall Street and the riots and destruction and murders that happened there. Hardly anyone knows about what happened in East Saint Louis. And it was actually very well documented, but that also is a sign then of how intentional the bearing of that information was.

Amanda Johnston:

Jacob Lawrence did incredible pieces about the riots in East Saint Louis, in his artwork, in his paintings. W. E. B. Du Bois rallied 10,000 people march in Harlem, in 1917, called the silent march, when they were actually protesting what was happening in East Saint Louis.

Amanda Johnston:

Because it was so devastating, the National Guard was called to try to handle and, you know, quiet the the riot, and a National Guardsman joined the mob in killing and terrorizing black people in East Saint Louis. So as someone who is personally connected to that space, I'm still doing a lot of research, historically, but then also personally in my family to get a better understanding of who was doing what, when. And it's challenging because I don't know what I'm going to find, but I wanna find the truth. And then I want to write towards the larger human experience on whatever I find there. But I'll read, one poem, from the manuscript.

Amanda Johnston:

I might read another one if there's time.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. We'll go we'll go, after break, we'll do more.

Amanda Johnston:

Okay. Great. This is just the first one I turn to. It's called Choice. And there's an epigraph underneath the title that reads a man who worked for the hill, Thomas, Lime and Cementco after the building had caught fire and was surrounded by the mob, called the manager up and said, the whole place is on fire.

Amanda Johnston:

And if I stay, it is death. And if I leave, it is death. I am going to stay. Goodbye. And that, was documented by Ida b Wells.

Amanda Johnston:

The poem. I've swept these halls into a line of paychecks. Shoveled, sat, and hauled dirt around my neck. I smell smoke before I see it and know, leave or stay, makes no difference. A mob outside is hunting Negroes.

Amanda Johnston:

They like us in our place and today, that's a hole in the ground. I get to a phone and call up the boss. Think of all the things I could tell him, but I still got heaven and hell listening on my last words. So I I I was trying to, in that poem, imagine the unimaginable being in a situation where all this mandate would show up to work. And then he's faced with 2 options of death, Death by the fire that the mob set or death by the hands of the mob.

Amanda Johnston:

And he chose to stay and and face the fire. I can't imagine what that is, but through poetry, I can share what might have been some things going through his mind. And grateful to another incredible black woman writer, Ida b Wells, for doing the hard work. Imagine at that time, a black woman going into the South, documenting lynchings, documenting riots, publishing them in newspapers that she founded. I mean, my God.

Amanda Johnston:

Tirelessly. What a brave hero she was. Right? But the sad truth is, there are people who are just as under threat now, as they were then We don't want to think of it that way, but there are people who are dying. There are journalists who are being killed now.

Amanda Johnston:

There are people who are being

Stacie Freasier:

The state state sanctioned violence on bodies of culture Mhmm. To to thank Resmaa Menakem for that term

Amanda Johnston:

Mhmm.

Stacie Freasier:

Is everywhere. And, we we come up to the the carceral system a lot on this show because that's, that's that's and especially in the state. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

Right. Oh, I mean, yes. The Carcel system, but it doesn't even have to to be there. Like, we we know black people are being murdered sleeping in their beds, walking down the street, crying for help, calling for help, and then being met with violence and and murder. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

That's not hyperbole. That's fact. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Amanda Johnston:

So one thing, you know, when I'm writing things like this collection that's heavily influenced by historical, truths is to not let it not let the story die. Because again, when you share the truth, when you speak truth to power, when people then know, then you have to make a choice to ignore what you know, but you can't say you didn't know. If you and once you know your history, that's the only that, like, that is the the only way you're going to prepare yourself to keep from repeating it is to know the history, which is also why so much literature is under attack and being removed and access to the stories is being limited or completely erased.

Stacie Freasier:

We're gonna come to that right after this break. Thank you. We will be back in just a few.

KOOP:

Austin based music non profit Beat for Beat is a 501c3 organization currently providing music education for Austin area school districts and private schools via their after school music classes. Beat for Beat's mission is to develop confidence and community and underserved youth in Central Texas through music education. Taught by professional local musicians, their curriculum is inspired by students' interests, providing opportunities for expression and empowerment. For more information about beat for beat, see www.beat, numeral 4, beat.org.

KOOP:

Co OP Radio is celebrating the anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, or the ADA. The ADA is a pivotal civil rights law that bars discrimination against individuals with disabilities in employment, public accommodations, and government services. It mandates accessibility adjustments to ensure equal access and participation across society. This legislation has profoundly shaped inclusivity standards empowering people with disabilities to a cornerstone of equality, ensuring that all individuals, regardless of ability, have equitable opportunities and rights.

Amanda Johnston:

Welcome to the theater, my dear. You'll love it so.

KOOP:

Wanna know more about theater? Of course, you do. Tune in every Wednesday from 1 to 2 on coop for offstage and on air, a lively and fun show all about theater in Austin and the surrounding areas as well as the rest of the country and the world. Join Lisa and Nicole as they explore theater as only they know how to do. Wednesdays from 1 to 2 on Co OP.

KOOP:

See you there.

Amanda Johnston:

It's in the hall. Welcome to the

Stacie Freasier:

Thank you to everyone tuning in on the FM airwaves 91.7 and online, www.k0op.orgstreaming. K0op.orgstreaming, everywhere. So Amanda Johnston is my guest today, poet extraordinaire, human extraordinaire. So many things. Torch literary arts founder and, CEO or executive director?

Stacie Freasier:

Executive director. Queen Bee. Working a lot. Queen working queen worker and queen bee. And we were right before the break talking first of all, you shared a very powerful, poem that you wrote and also a a history lesson.

Stacie Freasier:

Right? That that, right before we went out, you were talking about how the, you know, these these are well documented events that occurred and are occurring, and yet we're hearing less and less about them, and that is, intentional, and by design. So I don't know if you have any other thoughts about that.

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, I just I do believe it is intentional. When I'm old enough to remember when news media turned into entertainment, Right? With the 24 hour cables news cycle, having access to all of these different platforms that are constantly streaming, that it switched from the news you need to know to the news that will keep your attention. Right? And so that's why we know like, if you ever asked yourself, how do I know so much about this celebrity?

Amanda Johnston:

You know? If I'm a fan of your work, then, yes, I'm following your work. But, you know, they'll come in and and it'll be, you know, this person wore this outfit to this event. Right? How how is it that we know so much about that and not about, what we were talking about over the break, the serial bombings in 2018 in Austin.

Amanda Johnston:

Right? I went and did a reading in Houston and asked the audience as I'm I'm writing poems about them in another manuscript titled, Active Threat. I asked folks in Houston if they had heard about it, and 2 people in a pretty good sized audience raised their hand. That's 2 hours, 2 and a half from here and that terrorized, especially black and brown people in Austin.

Stacie Freasier:

I actually months. Yeah. I I think, actually, we were talking about it. You and I were talking about it, but I don't know if we touched on it yet. You were, I wanted us to bring to it, the event.

Stacie Freasier:

So to ground people in, what event we're referring to, that was in 2018. Right? And, can you tell folks what happened?

Amanda Johnston:

Yes. So in 2018, there was a serial bomber that the local and federal authorities were reluctant to call a serial bomber, who first left a package bomb, in Pflugerville and a black household. And when it detonated and killed the the man there in the home, the local authorities were spending a lot of time trying to figure out how he did it to himself. There were speculations if it was drug related, if he was involved in a gang, that this was a father. This was a man living his life who opened the door and there was a package, which we get now, which is common.

Amanda Johnston:

Thanks to all of the delivery services that come to our front doors, and he was murdered because there was a serial bomber. And then it continued to happen, like I said, for 2 months. The next one, detonated at the home of Dreyla Mason, a 17 year old, who opened the door, brought in a package. It exploded, it killed him, it injured his mother, another black household. And then the, again, the local authorities didn't want to say it was a serial bomber and didn't want to say that it was even possibly racially motivated, but the bombs were being left at black households.

Amanda Johnston:

And then, a Latina woman's home, and she was injured. And then it what there were other bombs, a trip wire on a a bike, road on a hiking trail, FedEx. But what I found very strange, such a strange, strange thing, the human anatomy and race, what racism does, in a person. But after the media said finally said that it could possibly be racially motivated is when the other bombings happened in predominantly white areas. So what is going through the psyche of a serial bomber that can be okay with being a murderer, but not called a racist?

Amanda Johnston:

Like, I that is I'm not that person. I will never embody that that way of thinking, but it's something I'm still trying to grapple with through poems. So the the collection as, again, titled active threaten, it is my consideration, after Lucille Clifton's famous poem, Won't You Celebrate with me, the last line of that poem, come celebrate with me, that everything that has tried to kill me has failed. Right? So the collection is me thinking about all of the active threats that there are in our lives, and the serial bomb poems around the serial bombing.

Amanda Johnston:

It's kinda anchored in the center.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. So, I think you did you write, it was a collection. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

Yes. There's a there's a series of poems.

Stacie Freasier:

Yes. Please share us, what you wrote.

Amanda Johnston:

Sure. The first in the series that's embedded in the manuscript is titled, it begins. March 2, 2018, the first package bomb detonates in Pflugerville, Texas. What does a bomb sound like when everything is exploding? The coffee pot drips into morning with the eerie buzz of cars on the verge of collision.

Amanda Johnston:

The world and its infinite brink of life and breath in and out, small bursts of the day today. And then a loud note cuts through a quiet street announcing a terror that has always been is awake and hungry. Yeah. So, you know, there's other poems in that that series where I really, like many black and brown folks in Central Texas, was just out of it it was surreal, and I kind of lost 2 months, really, just trying to survive, but not really even being able to to say what it was surviving. Because I was still expected to go about my normal day, show up to work, do your job, smile, be pleasant, like, what's going on?

Amanda Johnston:

And, there was a moment when I had gone to work and, I was I wasn't working in for a torch then. I was working, in a different place. And everyone's going over the usual, good morning. How was your evening? Blah blah blah, small talk.

Amanda Johnston:

And one person, on my team said, how are you doing? And I was like, oh, I'm fine. I'm whatever. And she's, no, no. How are you doing?

Amanda Johnston:

Because I know what's happening, and I saw there was another bombing. And I just I broke down in tears, and I had to leave. I had to go home because I couldn't function like that. And, you know, it just really made me think about the ways that trauma is constantly working on people, and you don't know how. So grace, offer grace to everyone, truly to everyone.

Stacie Freasier:

Including yourself.

Amanda Johnston:

Including yourself. Especially yourself. But you have to do it for yourself first because you can't do anything else.

Stacie Freasier:

You can't pour from an empty cup.

Amanda Johnston:

You cannot. You cannot. So so, yeah, just putting into the the work, into the writing, my experience and documenting what was happening during that time that, like I said, so many people don't remember, didn't hear about, or it barely made it national past you. You would think a serial bomber in the state capitol of Texas would be something that would be national newsworthy. It barely was blip in national

Stacie Freasier:

news. It it probably blipped on mine because I feed the algorithm. You know what I mean? It's like more stories interested, but you're right. Yeah.

Stacie Freasier:

The one in this collection that that I think was, especially poignant, to to me, reached out to me was, about the Amazon packages over the do you have that one at your fingertips? Can you can you read that one for us? Sure.

Amanda Johnston:

That poem is, short poem titled 2 Americas. A friend says online shopping is great. You come home and there are packages waiting for you like little gifts. You should do it. You deserve it.

Amanda Johnston:

It's so much fun. My daughter is afraid to open the door. I check the front yard for trip wire. Mumble a little prayer. Take me.

Amanda Johnston:

Take me.

Stacie Freasier:

Thank you for sharing that.

Amanda Johnston:

It still makes me well up with tear because it's so it was we didn't make it up. We lived that experience. And I I live in, Round Rock and the day that the bomber, he he he killed himself by detonation on I 35, 10 minutes from my house, and the school district announced a 2 hour delay because of the morning disruption. That's what you get. You get 2 hours to go a little slower this morning with your family because the serial bomber that's been terrorizing our community detonated.

Amanda Johnston:

And so we didn't make this up. It happened. Right? My daughter was terrified to open the door, and I would have laid on the wire Mhmm. For her.

Amanda Johnston:

Mhmm. That happened.

Stacie Freasier:

So that was 6 years ago. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. I asked you to share that one in particular because I think it it it's got so many layers to it.

Stacie Freasier:

It's it's very deep. It's a it it is a it is a, I I'm you're so prolific and moving with words that I am at a complete loss of words. But, I was I wanted to unfathomably different and not at all fair and right. The it's the social experience is different. So racism, well, it's a construct.

Stacie Freasier:

It has real deadly consequences and manifestations on people of color, and I am a white bodied woman, And I can only listen and see you and try to understand as well as I can what that feels like, but I will never understand what that feels like because I don't I don't have to because I happen to be born in a very white body. Mhmm. But

Amanda Johnston:

it's about being conscious of that. I also too, I just, you know, shared that anecdotal story about being at work and the coworker asked me if I was okay. That was a white woman.

Stacie Freasier:

Yeah. I was gonna, ask you. She was socially aware. And you appreciate that her asking you in that moment.

Amanda Johnston:

Yes. I did. It was kindness. It wasn't business as usual. It was something very devastating is happening in the world right now that I know is affecting you and your community differently than mine.

Amanda Johnston:

Are you okay? That was a kindness and I deeply appreciated that. There were a lot of other things said to me that were not. There were a lot of other things that happened to a lot of people in this town, continue to that are not kind, that are business as usual. And not even business as usual.

Amanda Johnston:

If if it has made a disrupt, I need you to figure out how to compensate and do more. Right?

Stacie Freasier:

Exactly.

Amanda Johnston:

You have to do more because where I'm just showing up to do x y z like I normally do, I need you to do the emotional labor to tuck away whatever is happening in your conscious right now, in your body right now, and show up. That's more. I need you to do more. That was a moment that was kind. I said, you actually don't have to do more right now in this moment, but think about yourself and how you're feeling.

Stacie Freasier:

If you're just tuning in, you're listening to racism on the levels. You may be on 91.7 FM or you may be listening online k0op.org. I am connecting with Amanda Johnston. What is it about poetry that can reach in and shake someone to awakening and hear something that maybe they're hearing on the news but it's not coming through. It's not hitting at their human heart.

Stacie Freasier:

What is it about poetry?

Amanda Johnston:

Well, one thing is that poetry's always been with us. It's literally our heartbeat. I talk about this all the time. Iambic pentameter is the same rhythm of your natural heartbeat. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

So, from before you had your first breath, you had poetry. And then, as an infant, we learn language, we learn how to communicate, no matter what language it is. We learn through song, we learn through poetry, someone's reading you nursery rhymes, someone's singing lullabies. Even even if it's just a it still has a rhythm to it. It still has the poetic mechanisms buried deep within it.

Amanda Johnston:

That's something that is, for me, otherworldly and and really then leads into a spiritual almost practice. Because there's so much I can do on the page. Right? With all of my learning and all of my experience, I can only ever do 50% of the work. The rest of the magic and the power of poetry happens when it meets its listener, its reader.

Amanda Johnston:

Right? Because what you bring then to the poem, I can't put in you. I have no control over that. But if I've done my work with my tools, then and you bring your whole self, then that connection can be made. Right?

Amanda Johnston:

And that's where I hesitate to even say understanding, but opportunity opens up to explore and consider read something and say, oh, it made me think about this or that time with this person or that time I did x, y, z. All of that is the language doing its work to set off those, just creates opportunity for that to happen. But that's what we need. It's just that opportunity. We need that space in that moment.

Amanda Johnston:

And amazing things can happen in a very, very short amount of time. Choice, decisions, kindness can happen. Empathy can happen in a split second.

Stacie Freasier:

I have so many questions for you. So I'm pausing to to to look at the precious time we have left on this sitting and and and see where I wanna go with it. I'm gonna go with the the next question I had, which is you you received a formal education, in some of these tools that you mentioned. What is something that you couldn't or didn't learn from a formal education. I'm thinking of of the root of my question is for people who, may not even have, you know, the confidence or the awareness or whatever it is to to create poetry?

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, gosh. My my educational background is so, diverse and nontraditional, which I think is now the traditional. You make it happen how you can. But I mentioned that the time, you know, I went to Johnson, in high school, liberal arts academy. I also dropped out of high school.

Amanda Johnston:

I had my oldest daughter when I was 17. So I started ACC at the same time as my senior class wasn't were were seniors in high school. So, you know, I'm very proud to say I have a GED and a master's degree. Right? But I went after the MFA because of my poetry community.

Amanda Johnston:

That was not something that was on my radar. I was writing and and before that, I had taken 1 undergrad class in creative writing. 1. So, you know, poetry truly had already been in me. What the study and practice, gave me were the traditional components of poetic devices, learning meter, foot, scan, and all of these different things.

Amanda Johnston:

I didn't have, terminology for understanding of. I learned when I was in MFA program. But as soon as I learned it, I then was teaching it to middle schoolers and sharing it in workshops to people who weren't going to the MFA because it doesn't have to be. And I'm I'm, you know, very adamant about that. Poetry is for the people.

Amanda Johnston:

If you want to learn poetry, read poetry. Read, read, read, read, read poetry. And I'm not even going to dictate, like, you have to read this poet or this poet or that person. I don't canonize. I fight say, find your way to poetry.

Amanda Johnston:

And if someone says, oh, I don't like poetry, that's a lie. What's your favorite song? Start there. Read the lyrics to your favorite song. Read them over and over and over and over and over again until you have that rhythm and that rhyme scheme down.

Amanda Johnston:

The poetry is there. Right? So first, read, consume. Go to poetry readings and events. Be a part of that community and feel the energy in those spaces.

Amanda Johnston:

Right? And then if you are inspired and you want to write, put words on a page. Start first there. Don't have to worry about form or structure. Is this good poetry or bad boidry?

Amanda Johnston:

Put words on a page. You can't revise anything until you have words on a page. Now, that is one thing I'll say is the difference between someone who knows how to write and someone who is a writer by practice and trade revision. You're going to revise. Some of these poems I say this manuscript I'm reading from, these manuscripts I'm working on are are new They're new as a collected body of poems.

Amanda Johnston:

Some of these poems are decade old. I've been writing these poems for a long time. Put words on a page, start revising them, read, read, read, so that you see who are the artists and the writers that inspire you, because that's going to help you not emulate them, but make decisions about what your tastes are, so that you can develop your unique voice.

Stacie Freasier:

What do you want folks to know they're you are busy. Torch is everywhere. Like, you've already done, like, 50,000 things this week. So what's coming up? What's in a regular rotation?

Stacie Freasier:

What do you want people to know about, both Torch and your own practice?

Amanda Johnston:

Oh, thank you. So, yes, Torch, is busy. We have events every month. If you want to learn more about, Torch and the programs we have, visit torch literary arts dot org. On 25th, we do have a public reading.

Amanda Johnston:

Our retreat starts this week. So we've got 8 incredible writers who were selected from 216 applications to come and enjoy a week long retreat here in Austin, fully funded, where they can rest, rejuvenate, feed into themselves, fill their wells, work on their writing, or take a nap. Mhmm. But they're gonna share from their works in progress on Thursday 25th at the Carver, and that's open to everyone. But you can learn more about it on our website.

Amanda Johnston:

And for me personally, again, working on these manuscripts, getting things published. You can learn more about my work at amandajonston.com. And yes, I'm on the socials and all those things. But I do have some things coming up. I can't talk about it just yet, but there are some projects that are coming that, I aim to support other poets in Texas and amplify poetry across the state for everyone.

Amanda Johnston:

Poetry is for the people. Mhmm.

Stacie Freasier:

How can listeners plug in who, Torch is a nonprofit.

Amanda Johnston:

Yes. We are.

Stacie Freasier:

You are an artist. Yes. We all know society underfunds artists. So, how could how could resources be put besides people attending events, what other ways can people support you and Torch and all the things?

Amanda Johnston:

Well, first, I mean, Torch is is our mission at Torch is to support black woman writers, so that does support me. I'm a black woman writer. So making sure that, other black woman writers are amplified and supported, makes this life possible. You can donate on our website for sure. And there's no amount that's ever too small or too large, but also tangible things.

Amanda Johnston:

You know, resources like this. Thank you so much for having me on your show to talk about my writing and to talk about Torch. So if there are listeners out there who have platforms, you know, folks have podcasts, folks have you know, our influencers on social media share about Torch and my work. That's a huge help getting people to see our work and learn more about us. Come to events.

Amanda Johnston:

Having a great audience feed into writers when they're sharing their work, that's where magic really happens. Do come to events. But then other tangible things, Torch, has a co working space, but we don't have a permanent home. If you are listening and you have access to spaces, we I mean, if you live in Austin, you know, space is expensive and hard to come by so we are searching for a permanent home and once we get that we'll be able to offer even more to the community.

Stacie Freasier:

Glad we gave voice to that. Do you have one small piece you wanna take us out on sure?

Amanda Johnston:

Let's see here. I'll read another, short piece from active threat. Here we go. For loud women like me. When it's a good holler and my teeth sprout from my mouth, you know you found the best of me.

Amanda Johnston:

Rich with strong spirits, good people, going on about something no one will remember but feel forever. Somebody told the truth, somebody tried it, somebody's testifying, somebody's laughing the salt to sweet, somebody found joy despite it all.

Stacie Freasier:

Alright, folks. Amanda Johnson, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for shining your light so brightly and sharing through bravery and courage and going through all the fields and sharing them and inspiring other people to do something like you're doing. If you feel inspired by this, communities here, it's abundant, and I I really am grateful to be in community with you.

Amanda Johnston:

Thank you. Read, read, read, read literature, poetry, fiction, memoir, scripts, write and share, protect the written word. Mhmm. We all need that.

Stacie Freasier:

Amen. Thank you for tuning in. The music you heard was a gift from Shoyinka Rahim and appears on her 2016 album Be Beloved. Please reach out. Let's be in community.

Stacie Freasier:

I'm serious y'all. Show ideas, collaborations, comments, questions, feelings, feedback. Stacie@k0op.org. Remember, in all things and always, love is the highest level.