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Away We Go We Go follows the journey of Sophie & Jordan Epton, an American couple who moved to France with their 10-month old twins, and the crazy adventure that follows. We dive deep into what it's really like moving and living abroad as expats, interview others who have taken the road less traveled, provide travel tips, discuss how you can do hard things to change your own life, and everything in between.
A year and a half ago, we risked it all and moved to France. We'll be sharing about our life abroad, how people could do hard things to transform their own lives, and everything in between. This is Sophie and Jordan Epton. Welcome to the Away We Go We Go podcast.
Speaker 2:Hi. Welcome back to the Away We Go We Go podcast.
Speaker 1:Wow. Is that your first time?
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's why I'm not allowed to do it. That's why you don't let me do it.
Speaker 1:Well, guys, welcome back to another episode of the Away We Go, We Go podcast. We are true survivors. And this man sitting next to me is not only my friend, but is the most fabulous partner in life I could ever ask for. Let me tell you what, the last five weeks have only proven to me, like, that we we got this. We're in this for the long haul because, woof.
Speaker 1:Let's let's give a little update, shall we?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Let's give an update. Long story short, we had the twins home for five weeks for no fucking reason. There's your update. Alright.
Speaker 2:Let's let's paint a little picture here. So
Speaker 1:Let's go back in time. So I know that a lot of you listened to Luca's story. And by the way, thank you so much for all of your incredibly sweet messages, DMs, texts. Mean so much to us. And we felt like there was like a little like, love bubble around us, like just, you know, everyone thinking about us and with everything that's going on with him.
Speaker 1:But, things took a sharp turn. So he was originally scheduled in March for date. And they told us from the get go that he could always be bumped because you never know what's gonna be happening in the ICU. Well, that happens. It happened, we got the call and he was bumped a week.
Speaker 1:Now, when his original podcast came out a few weeks ago, that was his date then that he was bumped to. They told us that he was absolutely priority. And so in our heads, that meant, this is happening, next up. And, you know, there's definitely something to be said about the way that, you know, you psych yourself up, you're thinking about all the things, we're packed, we're ready to go.
Speaker 2:I mean, we we had a suitcase, his surgery was gonna be six to eight hours and his recovery time was gonna be like ten days. So that meant between the two of us, we're kind of swapping who's staying at the hospital with him and who's staying at home
Speaker 1:with London. Yeah. So... Knowing it's gonna be really intense for...
Speaker 2:I had a suitcase packed with a lot of my stuff because I was gonna do the first few days and all of Luca's stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And we were... It was literally the morning. So he was supposed to go into the hospital the day before his surgery at about 2PM. So we were planning to leave around noon, and we get a call probably, what, 10:00?
Speaker 2:09:15.
Speaker 1:Okay. You remember.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Was minute.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. It was 09:15 and this was after they had bumped it another day. So they bumped it one week and then they even bumped it one more day and then the morning of, we got a phone call that they're like, you can't come in. We don't have space. We'll get back to you with a new time.
Speaker 1:Yeah. They... I think what had happened is they... All of a sudden, ICU got really crowded. Our surgeon had to work on someone with an emergency like the night before, and it just bumped everything.
Speaker 2:They won't schedule a back to back day for the surgeon.
Speaker 1:Which is good.
Speaker 2:Which is great. I mean, I think the silver lining of this process was knowing that once he does get in and he's in ICU, there's no, like, hey, he's he's doing pretty good good enough. We can move him out. Like, they'll really monitor, really make sure everybody is at a point of stability that they're really comfortable with. So that was a good feeling, but we're on the other impact side of it, where at that point, they had been home for over three weeks at that point.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then it just felt like someone had literally taken a balloon, popped it, and we were just the deflated balloon, like, sitting in a corner.
Speaker 2:Yeah. We were already kind of at our wits end. I was, like, joking. I'm like, Sophie, think you're actually sick of me right now. Laughing so we don't cry.
Speaker 1:Pleased the fifth.
Speaker 2:But... Yeah. Then we had already, I think, off time of the daycare. So there was a time that they couldn't get us back in, plus we were waiting for a date. We didn't know what that meant.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, could you get him in next week then? Like, fine. We'll keep him home for another week if it means we can get this going. And we waited, I think, until following Monday or Tuesday to where they were like, we can't get a date.
Speaker 2:It's gonna have to be later in the year. And that was the the major, like, oh, so this was just psychological warfare. I see.
Speaker 1:We're... I think we're making light of it. At the end of the day, we know that he is going to get amazing care and that it is not going to cost anywhere where it would to The US. However, it's just, it's a different system and they're going to treat these children accordingly. Truly the silver lining is that Luca is a really healthy, normal kid.
Speaker 1:It's just something that they have to do. They even said within the next couple of years, but they want to get it done this year. And so, you know, we're just going to wait and see. Now it's looking like it might be over the summer. We'll keep you guys updated, but we're just not really binding ourselves to any specific timeframe because we are not...
Speaker 1:We've learned our lesson. We're not doing this
Speaker 2:bitten already, so we'll wait. I mean, it's an amazing system. It's not perfect. None are perfect. But all things considered, this is not that bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Because it's not urgent. I think the biggest thing is we all wanna have this major procedure behind us and have him in a good spot, which he will be soon enough. So for now, we're just going to slowly come down out of this delirium that we've been in for the last week since they did actually go back to daycare and those first two days felt like, oh, we were like, oh, this is what life is like when somebody takes them for us. I
Speaker 1:mean, I'm not gonna lie. It was long and very tiring. But I also realized through the process that I truly do like, I mean, not to sound corny, but like, I am so thrilled and grateful to have the partner that I do because to imagine like trying to, I mean, to imagine like single parents doing what they do is kind of like heartbreaking in a lot of ways because it's just like everyone needs a partner. And certainly, I mean, even better is a village. And so it wasn't just us.
Speaker 1:Our new nudes were here to help a lot. They were a huge mental support. They were huge physical support. And, you know, and then obviously my parents came in. They were a huge help.
Speaker 1:So just just having all of that, we made it through. But, I'm not gonna lie, we we were hanging on by thread.
Speaker 2:We were in... And really, like, we had so much fun with them. Like, we did all sorts of stuff. We got, you know, art projects done and new toys and and played every day, it was great. As a a good friend of mine had said, it's not hard.
Speaker 2:It's just relentless. And it was just like when you're hitting that point of exhaustion for the seventeenth day in a row, and you still gotta perform. Again, like, lots of people have been through stuff just like this, but it was... That was rough. So now we're on the other side of it.
Speaker 1:We celebrated kind of our freedom again by this past weekend. So my mom had messaged me and told us that there was the most beautiful tulip fields. I was really bummed out because originally we were planning to go to Amsterdam at the end of the month to see the tulips, but then because of everything with lupus surgery and we didn't know what was going on and he couldn't fly for six weeks after, My mom had actually found, she's like, Oh, there's these beautiful tulip fields and they're about an hour away from where you guys live. And I'm just like, No way. So we ended up loading the kids and we drove, it was like forty five minutes out to this little town or like right outside of this little town called La Pien.
Speaker 1:I'll I'll link it in the show notes. But it was spectacular.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It was really cool.
Speaker 1:It was really cool. Like, like, we've talked about all the different... You know, the roses, the poppies, the lavender. I didn't realize that the the tulips grow here in the same way, which is probably really silly, but it's something that I would recommend to anyone either living here or if you happen to be visiting. It's like the last two weeks of March and I think the first week of April, again, depending on rainfall.
Speaker 1:But they were, like, cutting them, like, right after we visited. So we got there, like, in the last possible session.
Speaker 2:Slid in there. And and these are, like, hundreds of yards long rows of of tulips and they... You know, it's color coordinated. Right? Just, you know, a row of red, a row of pink, a row of dark pink, a row of orange and rose colors, white.
Speaker 2:It was amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. If you go check out our Instagram, you can see we put together a little video just with the kids and it's... They were so cute. But it was... Yeah, it was stunning.
Speaker 1:It was a perfect day for weather. It was like 70 degrees Fahrenheit, sunny. So, we knew we were going to have incredible light. And so, we were able to drive out there with my parents and we were able to take our tripod and just get some really fun family photos. And it was, it was really special.
Speaker 1:It was so cute. Like the kids, they, they loved seeing all the tulips. They were like playing in the grass. There were these horses that were around that they were, you know, just, like, watching and admiring. And then we ended the whole night with a pizza party in the back of the car and then the kids passing out while we drove home, like, at dusk and it was
Speaker 2:Yeah, was pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Really cool. So couldn't recommend that enough. Again, go check out our stories on Instagram. But, that's just kind of a couple updates about what has been going on. But I think let's kind of pivot over to what we want to talk about a little bit more today, which is when you move, there's going to be a lot of changes in your community.
Speaker 1:And it's not only going to be because your community actually changes, but it's also about how people react to your move or how you react with other people to your move. And I feel like it's a topic that isn't touched on enough. People wanna know, I think, all of the- logistics, the numbers, all these things. But I think people forget that there's just a huge emotional aspect to moving with loved ones, with friends, with family that can be pretty jarring at times. And now that we are nearing two years, which is wild to say, nearing two years into this journey, we just felt like it would be a really important topic to touch on just kind of what we experienced and also just some tips and tricks that we've used to kind of help not only with our community back home, but with building a community here.
Speaker 2:And I think that when you move because of a reason that is more common, like work, and you have to do a work move abroad across the country, whatever it is, that's a lot easier for people to wrap their brain around because it's just a more common situation. Hey, I got a promotion or we opened up a new department or I have to lead this team. So I'm gonna move to another country for a year, for a couple years. And I think that that has a much different tone than when somebody says, I just really wanna go somewhere else for whatever the reason is.
Speaker 1:No. When you just make a move, it's sort of... It's just for you and there's no other, like, really external thing pulling that's easy for people to, like, wrap their heads around in that way. It can be really jarring for people. And I feel like there's a lot of people, especially right now, that are moving abroad for reasons just to better their lives because they want to do it for whatever reason it is, but it's not something that's very concrete.
Speaker 1:And so it is, it's, it's, it's hard. It's hard for everyone. And you know, when you, when you move, we found that there's going to be a really wide spectrum of everything from naysayers, people who don't understand what you're doing, to people in your life that really support you in every step of the way. And those people, it might feel really painful to move away from them. We've experienced all of this.
Speaker 1:And so we really wanted to touch on this a little bit more for anyone who might be dealing with this or maybe anyone who is thinking about moving and they have a fear of what they might have to deal with in the future. So, you know, in terms of overcoming, we call them the naysayers, It's it's wild.
Speaker 2:I think it's a... I think it's an interesting one to start with because a lot of times it just feels really unexpected. And it and it it comes in a lot of different flavors because just like anything where people can kind of behave shitty, but they don't mean to, or they don't outwardly mean to, it it can catch you both off guard, and it's it's tough to deal with. And I think that it's just from a headspace perspective, I think it's important to just prepare yourself that some relationships might change.
Speaker 1:That's probably the biggest one that's hard that people need to realize is that, know, if you're lucky, maybe this won't happen for you, but I don't know anyone who's moved that hasn't had some relationships change in some sort of fashion. And some change for the better and some change for the worse. It just... It really depends.
Speaker 2:But I think when there are situations that don't change for the better, when you're already making a move, potentially cultural change, life change, you're already very exposed and vulnerable because you're already dealing with a lot of new and a lot of unknown. And so to have people that are in your world that, you know, whichever, you know, inner or outer circle that they fall into to get any negativity, any pushback, any objections feels a little amplified because you're already in this headspace of like, I'm kind of freaked out in a lot of ways, excited but freaked out because what if I fuck something up? What if I don't know everything? And and when you get questions that you might not yet be prepared to answer, how long are you gonna go for? Well, when are you coming back?
Speaker 2:Why are you even doing this? Like, are you crazy? That's... This is this is kinda nuts. When you get stuff like that and you don't yet know how to respond to it, or you do, but it...
Speaker 2:You still get pushed back. Don't know. It it can just be really...
Speaker 1:It's a lot on the fact that your cup is already full with, I think, everything you can possibly deal with when you're moving and to have that on top of it is just... It's it's energetically does not align with what you're trying to do and it's really, really hard.
Speaker 2:It is hard. Yeah. And honestly, the one that I even mentioned is that you did, which is the people that like you do love and love you and are excited, but start emoting themselves and say, I'm really gonna miss you. Sucks for me. Like, I don't have you guys around or I don't have you around anymore.
Speaker 2:And like, that's a that's like a heavy thing because nobody wants to like... I don't mean like ruin somebody else's life. But if you move and you kinda take away that for somebody else that's in your world, like, that's heavy too.
Speaker 1:It is. I mean, I think when it comes down to it, our biggest advice is that at the end of the day, there's a lot of people who don't understand your move. Like maybe they've known you a certain way for many years. And now you're kind of stepping outside of that, of yourself, of who they knew into a new adventure. And so it's really hard for them to you know, understand and try to place you into their mind of like what they knew you as.
Speaker 1:You know, it's the way that our brains are like made. It's like, know, we come from cavemen and we think about things in a way of like fear based first. A lot of times our brains turn things on in order to protect us. And so I think it's just, that's kind of a way sometimes the people just, when they can't understand you, they either want to attack a little bit or retreat. And that can be really difficult.
Speaker 1:Or the other thing is that maybe what you're doing is that it's scaring them because it's just not something that they would do themselves. And so they're letting their fear really come at you in a negative way. And so I think the biggest thing is when you're going through this, you want to kind of understand human psychology in a way to know that this is probably coming, but no matter what, you have to stay strong and know what you're doing and why you're doing it. Again, we always go back to our why. At the end of the day, you have to remember that this is your life, yours.
Speaker 1:It's a small time on this earth and you don't know when your last day is, and you cannot live your life for other people. You have to live your life for yourself. Period. End of story. Like, anyone I know who's lived their lives for the expectations of other people, a, they generally have never met them.
Speaker 1:And b, there's a lot of resentment that can grow from trying to live your life for someone else because it's your life again. And you need to do what makes your heart sing. You need to do what feels like it's a calling to you, whether or not that feels crazy to other people around you. That doesn't matter because if you're being true to yourself, that is your path to happiness and fulfillment. And you need to take that shot.
Speaker 1:I really always think about the fact that when you I've used this for years, when you Michael Phelps your life. I know we've talked about this a lot. So, there's that photo of Michael Phelps and I think he's with Chad Duplo. Don't if I'm saying this guy's name right. And I think it's in Rio and it's this really famous photo of him where he's like, going for it.
Speaker 1:He's swimming. He's only paying attention to what he's doing. He's staying in his own lane. And then the guy next to him, the flow, is looking at him and trying to pay attention to what he's doing. And he's the one that ends up losing in that specific ways.
Speaker 1:I remember that. And it's like, if you want to do what you want in life, you have to stay in your own lane and be vigilant about what you want to do. It is so important. Put the blinders on and do what you want. It's not to say that you shouldn't take anyone's feelings or their sadness into account.
Speaker 1:Of course, you want to be very precious with how they feel as well, but you cannot live your life for other people. That is not why you're put on this earth. You also might even have people who just put a lot of distance between you and them because they can't handle the idea of you changing or even the physical distance. And in that case, I would say, again, Mel Robbins, let them. You have no control over what other people are going to do.
Speaker 1:And so you have to let them feel their feelings and do what they're going to do. You can, of course, still reach out. You can still be a good friend, a good family member to them. But at the end of the day, if they want to come back to you, they're going to. It might just take time.
Speaker 1:We had people who have come back into our org and our circle after a year where it was like they were really, really distant and then they came back. And it's feeling a lot better if things are feeling like they're mending a lot more. And we're absolutely open to that. Create distance or you're creating change. So then on the other spectrum, you might have people who it feels really painful to move away from.
Speaker 1:Like these are people that are really supportive of what you want to do and supportive of every move in your life. And it's like, it's so painful to like, think about not being around them every day. And that's, I mean, that's so many family members and friends. And I think it's something that, we talk every day about the beauty of moving abroad, but I think it's just not touched on enough that there will be just people that you just miss so much and you have to figure out a way to stay in touch with them. And I think that over the years we've been able to do that all.
Speaker 1:Know Jordan will go back to The US, back to Austin for work quite a bit. And you're able to like, see these very dear friends of ours every time you go, which I love. I love that you're like, you know, everyone's making the time. Even if it's just like a couple dinners a year, it just seems people have that FaceTime is is the best.
Speaker 2:I mean, it was definitely like you're... I was only in for a few days, so I'm jam packing it with like every moment I can to like see some friends for a quick dinner. I had to like double up on dinners, which was totally worth it because I got to eat some food that I have in a while, but that's hard to do when you go to Texas and you, like, double stack some, like, Tex Mex with queso with some barbecue after that. Not a good idea. But but it was just really cool to be in such a familiar setting with Friends after I had been so unfamiliar for such a long time at that point, which, you know, even having been here for a year and then being able to go back and do that or like ten months and going back and do that, it was just like, it was a very nice reprieve.
Speaker 2:And of course everybody was asking me, so what do you miss? And it was interesting because like the only thing that I really missed was them. I mean, I moved here for my reasons and like, if there's days where I'm like Jones and for a really good taco, of course. It definitely happens. But there's such good food here, and I'm being exposed to such different things.
Speaker 2:So it's just... It's really fun. And I don't I don't really look at this as what I'm missing, but I think to a lot of the stuff that you were saying, I think that's how other people look at it, even friends who have like passed through that we've seen, and they've been traveling for like six days and like, I just really missed whatever it is from back home. And that's where I think a lot of the differences that like you don't know beforehand. But my perspective because of what I'm doing, I see somebody traveling for six days, saying they miss something from home and I'm like, you've been gone for six days, not even a week, you know, but they probably look at me the same way through like the other side of that glass where it's like, you've been gone for ten months.
Speaker 2:Like, who are you even? How do you not miss all of these awesome things that you have access to at home? And I think that's that like really interesting balance whether it's people who fall into that, you know, objection and naysayer category or the people that just love you and miss you and want you to be around and it just kind of leaves a little bit more of like a gap for each one of you. But I I think that's probably the closest that I could relate to missing something is just being around people. But I will say in our specific situation, because we both moved away from where we grew up to Austin, we already had a...
Speaker 2:Our network of people were spread out. Have family all over.
Speaker 1:I have family that lives in Sweden. I have family lives in California. I have family lives in the Midwest. I have family that lives in, you know, we had family in Florida, like, you know, I mean, all over the place.
Speaker 2:So with, you know, FaceTime and WhatsApp and Instagram and technology and everything, you can still stay connected.
Speaker 1:On that note, you know, just the things that we have done with the people that we just, you know, we we, like, crave being around them. We still miss them so much. And I think it's when you move away from these people, maybe you wonder, you worry like, is the relationship going be the same? Like, how are we going to keep this up? And so for us, we found that there's a couple of things that we've done with our really dear friends and family.
Speaker 1:And one of them is planning yearly or biannual trips that we go back and forth to see one another. I'm going to call out our dear friend, Twila. She is the realest of the real. Not only did Twyla volunteer to come with us on our trip over
Speaker 2:their initial
Speaker 1:move with the twins when they were 10 old. She was with us. She was carrying the baby. She was sleeping with the babies on the plane. She was, like, dealing with them, screaming.
Speaker 1:She was doing all the things and then even stayed a week to help us, like, settle in. But we have found that...
Speaker 2:Like, you can't, like, just ask somebody to do that. That's a person who just like is part of your life.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:And they just do that. And I think, you know, there was... Out of all of the exposure and vulnerability we were feeling, like, that was a a mountain of gratitude for having somebody in our life. And actually, you know, I can't call out Twilight without calling out Chris Yes. Who brought Ziggy over here.
Speaker 2:It was not just because, oh, you brought our cat over, but like Chris is a friend who's been taking care of our family for like a decade almost. Just in various ways watching our house when we go out of town and just helping out with stuff. Just being an all around awesome person that I've known... We've both known for a really long time. Really amazing to have people like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's so it's something where, you know, if Jordan is going into town in Austin, he always, you know, makes sure that he sees, you know, our friends like that. But then also like to call out Twyla again, you know, we have other friends that do this too, like when we fly somewhere into The States, even if it's not back into Austin, we have friends who will fly to where we are to see us, even if it's for one day. Because it's just having that FaceTime like once or twice a year really keeps things going. And then we also find that, you know, it's like we're really lucky to live in the times of you know, technology and having FaceTime and Zoom
Speaker 2:and all those things.
Speaker 1:Because you think about like, my parents moved away from their home. My stepmom, I mean, she moved away and she didn't even, I think, call her family for six months from a pay phone in like the seventies. And they told her, they were like, well, we figured if you were dead, we would have heard something about it seriously. So I'm just saying, but so we live in a time where, you know, we can see people, not like touch them, but see them all the time. And so, you know, I think it's just making it a point to have a weekly FaceTime with your loved ones and making it a point to like really, you know, have that quality time with them every single week.
Speaker 2:It's cool. It's something to look forward to, and it is some sort of, like, regularity that you can build. Again, when things are unfamiliar, there's there's both directions you probably wanna go and have to go, I think, which is keep pushing your discomfort and acclimating and learning new, but also make the time for the stuff that is known to you, which is like making time with your friends, talking with your family, etcetera.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And the other things that we would do or we still do is like, you know, we send even like little DMs or messages on Instagram or little texts, like just like constantly, like weekly, just to ping each other, just to like make sure like, Hey, I'm thinking of you, you know, things like that. And then also even like little gifts, like, I mean, just all these things you think about, like, essentially it's just keeping that line of communication and just people knowing that you still love them and care about them. And, at the end of the day, if, you know, you are important to them and they're important to you, just know that, like, make the effort and it will work out. Your relationship will stay really strong.
Speaker 1:It's not always easy, but it will stay strong. And then as we talk about everything with your community around you as you move, we kind of want to start moving into how to build your community once you're here. This is also something that I think people touch on, but maybe don't get into quite enough. Because when you move, especially if you move somewhere where you don't really know a lot of people, it can be really isolating and lonely. And as you're just trying to figure out your world, it's really important to try to figure out how you're going to build your community because that's why your life is going to be rich where you're moving to.
Speaker 2:It's true. And I think, you know, the older you get, I hear this all the time, whether it's in, you know, a podcast or, you know, social media or interviews or whatever, you know, or just from friends. Like, the older you get, the harder it is to to make friends because when you're younger, you have so much time to invest in, like, spending time together and building community and friendships.
Speaker 1:Until you're, like, out of college, like, you're constantly seeing people anyway because you're in classes, and then it's, the things you start to, like, you start to revise and spread out and... Yeah.
Speaker 2:When you, to your point, when you move somewhere where you just don't know anybody and that, I mean, look, that could be a domestic move, that could be to a new state, that could be to an obviously new country. If there's a language barrier, you're adding on another layer of, you know, challenge to connect with people because then you start to encounter like how much patience do some people have for like not knowing your... And, and you probably, I mean, I realized this about myself. Like, obviously I've been in this situation multiple times now. So I think I've been a little bit more patient with people who like English isn't their first language and they moved to Austin and I met them.
Speaker 2:But there's plenty of people that aren't. And it's the same, same thing because maybe their competence in your language isn't great. You know, when people don't speak really good English here, they, I've found they want to interact with me a little bit less because it, it, my shitty French and their shitty English just makes it that much more uncomfortable. Right? But there are some people where, like, my friends who own the butcher shop.
Speaker 2:Right? Our friends, that we see, you know, weekly, like they've seen us grow since we've been here for the last, you know, year and a half plus where, I mean, I'm buying food from them so they have all the patience in the world, you know, you know, but it creates that environment where we can we can learn about each other and I can help them with some English. They can help me with some French, you know, when I come in and now I know what to ask for and how to ask for it. It's kind of this fun, like, checkpoint for us, you know, which which grows. And I think little wins like that where you just have to take a little bit more time than you would have at home because the process of, like, growing a friendship, it's just very different, especially if there's a language barrier.
Speaker 2:I think that's that's huge. If it... You're moving to a country, you speak the same language, then it's just finding people you relate to, but the language thing is is pretty interesting.
Speaker 1:What we're saying is it's not easy and be prepared for that. But, like, you will find your community wherever you move. And in the last two years, you know, the things that have really worked well for us is one, I mean, Jordan always jokes about this. He's like, I'm going to go in and I'm going to be the mayor of this town. So he essentially will like walk through the town and find his favorite places and then just start going there like every day, every other day so that people get to start to know him.
Speaker 1:And then I come in, the twins come in and then before you know it, it's like, you know, again, you're going in and out, you're showing that, oh, I'm not just some tourist, I'm living here and I'm trying. And it's been like really fun to see the people that we've met because of course it's definitely easier to, and in some ways like really wonderful to make friends with an expat community with, you know, everyone moving to where you're going. But especially living in France, like some of these people you absolutely become friends with. Like don't ever think that they're too hard to crack because they're not. Like they're amazing people.
Speaker 1:And so like, we're really good friends with our, you know, our guys across the street at the coffee shop because you started going there every single day. And they really helped me out, when you were gone and y'all know the whole car debacle. Without them, I would've... I don't even know what I would 've done.
Speaker 2:Yep. Guys at the butcher shop helped us move?
Speaker 1:I mean, they're like, yeah. They're incredible. You know, we just met some people, like, as we're going around. It's it's just really fun to, you know, make friends with people that you would have never ever made friends with had you not lived in this country and just, and learning, and learning so much more about their culture and them kind of teaching you. Because the whole idea is you want to like respect the fact that you're living in a, in a different country and that you want to learn more about how to kind of assimilate into that culture.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, what's funny is they're always telling us to be less American. They're always telling us to relax more, which, you know, easier said than done with work and twins, but but we do we do relax a lot more here than
Speaker 2:we are. Not wrong.
Speaker 1:Not wrong. Not wrong. I mean, compared to compared to how they know how to relax, yeah, we're... We have some things still to learn. But...
Speaker 2:Yeah. I I think the language thing is is a super fun aspect. I experienced that when I lived in Argentina, and I moved to Argentina not knowing Spanish very well. And once I really got strong in Spanish, it's crazy how much it opened up. Like, how my experience and my relationships and friendships completely opened up.
Speaker 2:And I I think that we are still, like, not too far away, but we haven't gotten to that place yet here because our language learning is just slower than obviously it was for me when I was single by myself. Well, right. And I was able to take classes, you know, four days a week for three hours a day and do that month after month. And I can move into a place where there was only Spanish speakers. Like, that's a very different experience than being with our twins and, you know, doing other work that, you know, we're just not...
Speaker 2:We are immersed in the country and the language, but we're not because neither of us are native French speakers. So we... We're not gonna speak broken French at home. We we kinda peppered in there, but, you know, so... Sophie's way better than me, so she'll she'll correct me and give me lessons and everything, which is pretty fun.
Speaker 2:But we're not, like, talking to each other, you know, in French. And so there's a lot of English around us even though the twins understand... I would say they understand French about 80% of how much they understand English, which is pretty cool. So we'll learn from them when they're, like, starting to get a little bit older and and help. I'm...
Speaker 2:I know I will help teach me, but I'm really looking forward to getting to that point where our language gets to be strong enough that we can really connect with people. Because right now, it still can be a little bit on the surface, but that's only part of it. I I do think I do think expat communities are really special and and really cool. I think, obviously, there's perspectives on on how you engage with an expat community. If you're, like, only expat community, then I think assimilating to the country that you're in, then that might not be everybody's motivation.
Speaker 2:But if you're... If it is your motivation to really assimilate, then, you know, striking that balance. But, I... There's other people who I've met who are like, oh, don't I wanna have anything to do with expats. I only wanna be involved with people from the country I'm in, which for me, that's not my style.
Speaker 2:I I want both. We've met some expats here. People have moved here that we've even met through us putting out information, you know, in Instagram and the podcast that, you know, we've met in town who've moved here that we now look forward to running into, which is like the coolest. And, you know, of course, we, like, exchanged numbers, now we could make it a more like planned thing but like that's that's a cool thing that you're... If you move to another country and you meet other people who move to the same country in the same town, like there is a strong amount of like mindedness that makes it really easy for you to just relate to these people.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I mean, I know that some people it's not really as much our vibe, but some people have found, you know, amazing connections in a Facebook group. And, you know, we highly recommend if that's something that you think you would love, like, do it.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of different kinds. There's, like, language focused ones. There's, like, we just moved here once. There's
Speaker 1:Adventure. Like, go on a bike ride together.
Speaker 2:Mean, there's cool
Speaker 1:stuff. I think the biggest thing is no matter what you're doing, like, you just need to be as open as possible because you just never know when it's something's gonna hit. You're gonna meet the right people and that could, change your life. I mean, the ways we've met people here who've become your friends are like, it's so random, but it's so cool. So yeah, just be open, think about all the different ways you can go about meeting people.
Speaker 1:And, you know, if you happen to be an ex and you see us, you recognize us, like always feel free to reach out because people have and now, you know, we've been able to connect with more people who are out and about and it's great.
Speaker 2:I think, you know, we've we've had stretches where honestly, we haven't felt like that. We haven't... You know, we're we're so exhausted that it's like the idea of socializing and trying to strike up a conversation with somebody, even for me who that's kind of my favorite pastime is... But, you know, I I still, like, I still get drained, and I I gotta recharge. And sometimes, again, maybe I have a rough day because things aren't going my direction.
Speaker 2:Even I get pretty exhausted from that stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think that's, that's okay too, knowing that you need to be easy on yourself when you've had a long day, a long week, and it's okay to just maybe you just want to cocoon in for the weekend in your apartment too. That's okay. It's just, you know, there's definitely a balance as you're moving here and you're just like kind of finding your footing and, just be gentle on yourself and be open. And, one other thing that we, you know, we're really looking forward to in terms of community is when our kids go to school next year and they go, we essentially decided on an international school that we're really, really thrilled about. And they're amazing about kind of just connecting all of the parents of the students in the class.
Speaker 1:We are going be very open to these people that we're meeting because we could potentially be with them for like, what, seven years, something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I think my mom always said this to me. She's always like... Because she made some some of her best life friends from, like, day care.
Speaker 2:And she's told me this for, like, years and years and years. She's like, yeah, when you have kids, like, you will make friends for life. And I think just because we had the kids in Austin knowing we were moving and then we weren't doing a whole lot because honestly, like, there was so little and Luca was still recovering and prepping for another procedure before he moved. Like, we weren't doing a whole lot. And then when we got here, the only exposure from that aspect has been in the two different daycares that they've been in, which have both been like fully French.
Speaker 2:And we've met cool people, but but again, because of the language thing, like, again, you, you have to, if you don't speak the same language together, I feel like you have to be like hold up together, like you live in the same apartment building or something like that, where you're just around each other all the time where you can develop that. Otherwise, a quick drop off and a pickup and maybe like sticking around for a morning, you know, activity, that's just not enough to to build that community. So I think there has been, for us at least, because we have access to this international school where I think half of the school is French families and the other half is families from like, you know, over 30 different countries. But it's a French and English school, so I think that bridge will be super cool. But at the end of the day, from a language standpoint, it's really gonna be up to us to keep driving and pushing to learn the language so we can have those
Speaker 1:Our kids will be the driving force because we need to be able to understand what they're saying all the time. Well, until they come up with their own secret twin language and they're
Speaker 2:already have screwed. I know. I kind of anticipated that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But I hope I hope this, you know, really kind of everything we talked about today really helps you to understand or just feel better about the fact that, like, while things will be a little bit, you know, maybe like a little bit difficult, a little bit hard in terms of, you know, your circle around you and the community that you have now and then the community that you're moving into, like everything will work out the way that it's supposed to. The people that are meant to be in your life will stick around and the people that are meant to come into your life will come. And so I think if you keep that attitude and you keep yourself really open and available, the universe will give you what you need. So...
Speaker 1:Wow. Just a little a little tiny bit of wisdom from me to you on the spine Wednesday. So I think on that note, we are going to
Speaker 2:go
Speaker 1:to bed. Thanks again so much for again, everything with Luca. You guys have been amazing. We just love this community that we're building. And we will see you again next week.
Speaker 1:Bye, review if you love what you hear. And you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at the underscore eptons. See you guys soon.