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Learn your plurals, guys. Like, for real.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Chris (00:13.236)
you
Matt (00:16.884)
Hello and welcome to Puffcorn and Bloodholes!
Luciano (00:20.728)
That was not awkward at all.
Chris (00:21.086)
Ha!
Matt (00:23.938)
I don't see what was awkward about anything. We're back from outer space. We left Spencer there to think about what he's done.
Luciano (00:32.182)
Yeah, he knows what he's done.
Matt (00:34.806)
You gotta think on it. There's the three of us with me, Luciano.
Chris (00:38.238)
Cheers.
Luciano (00:40.214)
Yes, I am a wolf.
Matt (00:45.268)
Chris?
Chris (00:47.152)
I watched this movie, and therefore I am able to participate in tonight's recording.
Luciano (00:52.162)
wow, look at that.
Matt (00:52.258)
What speed did you watch it at?
Chris (00:56.572)
Plead the fit of...
Luciano (00:58.131)
Hahaha!
Matt (00:59.112)
All right, fair enough.
Luciano (01:01.573)
This is not the US, thank fucking God, so you can't leave the fifth.
Chris (01:05.044)
Well, what's the Canadian equivalent? I plead the the the Red Green Show.
Matt (01:05.996)
Chris is...
Matt (01:14.24)
That, that counts somehow. don't know, but legally it's binding in Canada. we talked, we talked, we watched, we watch movies. We talked about it too, but we talk, we watch, we watch, we talk. Specifically, we watched the, I guess we call, I call it the poor, Jagannathan.
Chris (01:19.208)
Hey.
Luciano (01:23.712)
Yes. Is this the time loop? What's happening?
Chris (01:27.956)
We watched and talked.
Chris (01:39.614)
Yes. Yes. No, no, that's not Frances McDormand.
Luciano (01:40.581)
No, the Francis McDormand vehicle.
Matt (01:44.128)
Hey man, First of all, bring it back for a second. I'm just saying I called it that and I was wrong. Clearly.
Luciano (01:45.408)
Yeah, it is. Pam.
Luciano (01:52.096)
Okay, fair.
Matt (01:57.907)
What am I hearing?
Luciano (02:00.226)
It's been happening Yeah, because it's you
Matt (02:01.718)
Yeah.
Chris (02:01.94)
I don't hear anything.
Chris (02:06.654)
So if I'm not talking, then why, how is it affecting my microphone?
Luciano (02:08.158)
No, it's just your mic is like someone is like filleting your mic.
Matt (02:12.82)
Yeah, yeah, it's just constant like
Chris (02:14.174)
But is it shaking? What does it sound like?
Luciano (02:16.184)
Now it's okay, but you Yeah.
Matt (02:18.538)
It's just like something blowing out.
Chris (02:21.812)
It's my air distributor, and I thought it was low enough.
Matt (02:25.6)
No sir.
Luciano (02:26.133)
I turned mine off because I was afraid it was gonna sound any whatever
Chris (02:29.022)
This microphone's a lot better than I thought!
Matt (02:29.1)
Can you?
Can you turn your air distributor away?
Luciano (02:35.823)
look, disappeared.
Matt (02:36.992)
Can the air be distributed into your house and not into the microphone?
Chris (02:41.278)
Keeps me cool, gentlemen. I've distributed it into another direction. Is that any assistance?
Matt (02:46.39)
Ew.
Luciano (02:47.617)
Yeah.
It's good, it's good.
Chris (02:51.666)
Better now?
Matt (02:51.734)
like it. Okay, we'll definitely leave that in our video for sure.
Chris (02:56.017)
UHF. I can help with that since I carl's date. Riverside? Riverside.
Luciano (02:59.914)
reverse, can do it.
Matt (03:03.436)
We'll find out. Okay. So we watched this vehicle. And so you're saying the Frances McDormand is the vehicle? Sorry, what character was she?
Chris (03:06.857)
not sponsored.
Luciano (03:13.216)
Yeah. Yes.
Chris (03:17.488)
Nah. Nah. Your voice?
Luciano (03:17.794)
Pam, just the voice of Pam.
Matt (03:21.954)
I see what you're saying. Let's see here. IMDB, can you corroborate this story?
Chris (03:28.18)
Do do
Matt (03:30.762)
You can.
Luciano (03:32.677)
Why? think I'm pulling you out of my ass? What? Why? Why would you think that?
Matt (03:34.506)
Yes, I absolutely 100 %
Chris (03:37.66)
I don't believe you. I thought that was Sigourney Weaver to be honest, but okay.
Matt (03:40.572)
What, why should I trust you is the real question.
Luciano (03:40.713)
What the fuck?
Chris (03:43.794)
You should trust me because I have your family and I'm about to poison the water supply.
Luciano (03:45.785)
I thought we were leaving funny questions to the end. Jesus.
Matt (03:52.812)
But that makes me trust you less. You stole my family and you're gonna poison people. Where's the trust?
Chris (03:58.83)
Next question the trust the trust I give you Laura Dern ladies and gentlemen say hi Laura dirt
Matt (04:03.01)
Laura Dern is definitely not in this movie. This movie is. Wolf.
Luciano (04:06.401)
No.
Woops, woops.
Chris (04:10.974)
There's no, you hit it with a V and it's a L-S-SIR.
Matt (04:11.234)
There's no V because they're so up their ass about them being singular wolves, wolves, singular wolf that they must put an S instead of V because they're not together, which I hate them for it.
Luciano (04:13.482)
Yeah, I know, I know.
Luciano (04:26.377)
I don't think it's that at all. think that whoever created this name thought they were Tolkien and they went, if Tolkien can do elves and dwarves, I can do wolves. That's what they did. And that was not true.
Chris (04:29.406)
trust.
Matt (04:41.014)
I like my answer better than yours and I'm gonna go with it.
Luciano (04:43.184)
Well, you're wrong, but you can carry on.
Chris (04:44.564)
Survey says, what thing?
Matt (04:46.284)
Chris said I was right based on the sounds his voice is making. So I'm gonna plop through this and we're gonna talk about what we liked about Wolfs. I can't help but say the F and the V now, it's very confusing. But here we are. Chris, what was your favorite thing about Wolfs?
Luciano (04:50.125)
Who cares? Okay.
Yeah, woof, woof.
Chris (04:57.768)
You know?
Chris (05:05.172)
The mind fuck that is George Clooney and Brad Pitt's character, dudes playing dudes pretending to hate those dudes, but really they love each other's duteness. They can't avoid that. And so.
It's just like watching two siblings Duke it out. But like, you know that it's at the end of the day, it's cool. And that made me laugh, especially like at the towards the very end when they're riding the train home next morning and then like Clooney pit is like, in his jacket and pit Wolf was like, shit, dude, no, no. And then he's like, haha, like it made me laugh. It filled me with like, I wish the movie was more like that, to be honest. So that's why that was it for me.
Matt (05:54.516)
Yeah. Okay, that's good. like.
Luciano (05:57.312)
It's funny how the same move works for grumpy old farts and 12 year olds. That move would have been at home for both demographics.
Chris (06:05.172)
Walter Mathow and a young Matt Damon.
Luciano (06:07.612)
Exactly. 100%. That's what I got. Yeah. Well, I'll go since I'm talking. I liked to pick specific scenes as usual. And there were two that I really liked. They were similar because it's a blink and you'll miss it. The first one is when at the end when the DA Margaret is leaving and she picks part of Clooney's outfit that he had for her and part of Britt.
Chris (06:11.538)
Yeah.
Matt (06:14.722)
Sure.
Luciano (06:36.322)
Brett Pitt's outfit, which were very, very similar. And she leaves and there's a beat and they both look at it like going, what the hell's wrong with this? It's just perfect timing, comedic timing. And the same thing with when they see the pager rings and one of them looks and then slides it to the other and the other one looks and they all both look gravely at each other and they put the glasses on. I fucking left my ass off. I watched that scene a couple of times, I gotta say.
Chris (06:38.728)
Yeah
Chris (06:44.626)
Yeah.
Luciano (07:05.814)
I think that that goes into what you were saying, Chris. Like if this movie was not being like if the characters weren't being played by Clooney and that pit, it would not have been nearly as fun to watch.
Chris (07:19.876)
And they're aware of that. I think they're aware of it.
Luciano (07:21.112)
100%. 100%. Yeah.
Matt (07:23.52)
You wonder where the movie, like the written story stops and the, what I assume was ad libbing and, you know, comedic joking starts to make their timing so perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Luciano (07:31.518)
Yeah, 100%. Yeah.
Chris (07:35.998)
FAB!
Luciano (07:37.957)
Yeah, that was good too. Yeah. How about you, Matt?
Chris (07:43.06)
I have a foo.
Matt (07:45.886)
Matt (07:50.134)
You guys have kind of taken most of the good ones. I don't want to get away from, it's fine. Ditto. moving on.
Luciano (07:52.321)
Hahaha!
Chris (07:52.456)
You could do it! You can do it!
Luciano (07:57.42)
You can say ditto and move on, but...
Chris (08:01.268)
Hey!
Matt (08:04.222)
The movie, Wolf's, is about cleaning. Like, I'm curious, is this the first cleaner-focused movie you guys have watched? Like, where the cleaners are? Because we've seen cleaners in like, you know, other movies, but it's just like a side piece. you know, probably the most famous one is Harvey Keitel and Pulp Fiction.
Chris (08:06.43)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (08:22.209)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:27.884)
fiction yeah yeah I don't think I've ever seen another movie where like it's focused on them right
Chris (08:35.188)
Well, hmm. True.
Matt (08:37.878)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:41.472)
Like even even Pulp Fiction, like Harvey Cantel does obviously a phenomenal job as he usually does. And the character is awesome. But it's like it's a specific piece of the movie where that happens, right? It's not, it's not the focus. I don't think I've ever seen another one like this, no.
Chris (08:59.764)
And if so, then we're just lacking, we apologize audience.
Matt (09:04.854)
Don't apologize to them. They know what they did.
Luciano (09:06.166)
Yeah.
Chris (09:08.104)
Look into my eyes, audience, and don't you break eye contact. You must trust that at our core, we love movies. We just haven't seen all the movies. So if you think that there's something that we've missed, sorry.
Luciano (09:17.272)
You
Matt (09:21.346)
Chris promises to watch it a triple time to make sure you see it.
Luciano (09:24.354)
Yeah.
Chris (09:24.668)
You know, at least I can hold space and acknowledge that on behalf of popcorn and plot holes, someone's gotta have the heart and say, you know, sorry. We love you.
Luciano (09:36.598)
Yeah, I don't fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. I don't care.
Matt (09:36.652)
Great work. I couldn't care less. I'm just asking the question. It's a very popular, it always shows up in mob movies and in like, you know, John Wick, you know, has, it's where you first see the coins get used in the first John Wick movie, right? And so I was just curious like how, I'm surprised no one else has done it given it's such a, it's a cool idea, right? Like, and obviously someone has to do it for real.
Chris (09:40.66)
See you!
Luciano (09:46.658)
Yeah.
Chris (09:46.802)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the feeling I had.
Luciano (09:54.486)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (09:54.685)
Mmm.
Chris (10:03.198)
revered.
Luciano (10:04.588)
Yeah, but it's a cool idea that as we're going to discuss as we go with this episode, know, you got to like, it's cool for a scene. It's cool for like part of a movie. don't like it's, it stops being fun if it's every day. Like imagine a TV series about a cleaner where every episode is him doing like the clean, it's like at some point it's boring.
Chris (10:06.45)
and integral to the process.
Matt (10:31.286)
He's just scrubbing blood.
Chris (10:31.922)
Are you sure about that?
Luciano (10:32.736)
Yeah, it's like an extended Mr. Clean commercial. it doesn't... Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (10:36.31)
gets a toothbrush out and is cleaning the grout in the tiles.
Chris (10:39.742)
I wanna yes and that, but I think you're wrong, sir. Put your ears on this, cop TV shows. Cop, they're cleaners. They have to clean up the situation. They're just a team. It's a football team of cops cleaning up dead bodies across New York City. Yes, you do.
Luciano (10:47.928)
Ehh!
Matt (10:54.643)
No. No.
Luciano (10:55.072)
Yeah, but you don't see them doing it.
Matt (10:58.242)
Now, I reject this because you're basically describing anybody can be a cleaner. The next show you're gonna tell me is maids go into rich people's houses and clean up all their shit. They're also cleaners. I'm talking about a very specific kind of cleaner, sir.
Luciano (11:06.232)
Yeah, they're cleaners too.
Chris (11:13.172)
How dare you shame the good name and profession, multifaceted profession, of a cleaner, of a fixer-upper. You shaming them. I see you, I you in 4K.
Matt (11:17.954)
Howdy.
Matt (11:21.408)
I didn't shame them. didn't shame them. just said just you're selling me. You're selling me. This is not a 4K. No one wants to see that. Yeah.
Chris (11:28.85)
Listen, listen, I'm not selling you anything. You can't sell me. I reject your sale.
Luciano (11:29.453)
This is barely in 1K.
Luciano (11:36.992)
I have no idea what's going on right now.
Matt (11:37.05)
Well, you can't sell anything to a crazy person when they're arguing against themselves. It's interesting because I think the cleaner is much like the coin in John Wick. The less you explain it to me, the better it is for everybody involved. The coin was cool. It's just a coin. It costs a coin for this and a coin for that and a coin for that and get coins for doing jobs. Great. And then we're like, there's a mint and this man manufactures the coins and is like, man, I don't care.
Luciano (11:41.515)
You
Luciano (11:50.497)
Yeah.
Chris (11:50.59)
Yes.
mystical
Matt (12:05.25)
where you make your coins, Sean Wick.
Luciano (12:05.292)
Yeah, like, yeah, you get a whole spin off of like the coin manufacturing facility with also all timing machines like the, the, the ladies with the, the bounties. Like I don't want to see that.
Chris (12:15.028)
Come on. No. Don't be so crudgy. They made sure that the stakes were high. A district attorney trying to change things around, but you know what? I took a teenage boy and was getting ready to dittle, but there was cocaine. Heroin, cocaine, same.
Matt (12:16.799)
Yeah.
Luciano (12:30.508)
But that's
Luciano (12:36.482)
heroin. But like the the that's the thing like that's really when you talk about like the cleaning job is only that first part. Everything else is just them being like hitman or no, I mean, like they're just like common thugs, I guess they're not really like what all the rest of they do is in cleaning. Right? I did.
Matt (12:48.268)
mysterious.
Chris (12:57.918)
Did you watch this movie? There's nothing common about their role. Because there's one of them, plus one of them. There is none other.
Matt (13:07.854)
Plus the guy who gets them their jobs and probably trained them. that's another one of them.
Luciano (13:12.946)
Yeah. Another one of them.
Matt (13:17.858)
I was very metal.
What did you think of the idea that, like, wolf eyes?
Chris (13:27.592)
Wolfs. Wolves? Wolfs. no.
Luciano (13:28.248)
You're gonna swallow your tongue before this is done.
Matt (13:32.642)
I'm gonna have an aneurysm on screen trying to get it correct. it to the internet and let them know I went out trying to say wolves correctly.
Luciano (13:37.355)
Yeah.
I'll put that on your tombstone.
Chris (13:42.036)
You don't want that on your tombstone. No, you...
Matt (13:45.442)
Thanks, buddy. I appreciate you. But yeah, like, this like, it was the concept, like of the movie Cool, like not the cleaner thing, but like, yeah.
Luciano (13:55.768)
I liked it. I like the idea of like showing. Okay. like conceptually speaking, I like the movie more conceptually than in the execution. I guess that's what I'm saying. So I like the idea of them being like cleaners, fixers, whatever. In the description, they call them fixers, which because I've played way too much Cyberpunk 2077 is a whole...
Chris (14:10.164)
BOOM!
Luciano (14:23.168)
A whole other thing in Cyberpunk, a fixer is someone who gets mercenaries jobs, but like whatever you want to call them, the idea of showing them a little bit more, right? I thought that what was going to happen was that the cleaning was going to go wrong, not the situation, but that they would try something or they would get caught cleaning or something like that. And then like we would see what we never see because the cleaners are always, and Harvey Keitel comes to mind again, they are always like the, like utmost professional.
right? They're efficient, they come in, they do their job, they leave nothing, like they clean everything up, everything is pristine. But what if a cleaning goes wrong? How do they fix that? How do they solve it? What are the, you know, the secret, the hidden secrets of the profession? That's what I thought.
Matt (15:07.626)
Right. Like the cops find out about it or get a piece of evidence or, yeah.
Luciano (15:11.542)
Like, yeah, or like a cleaning lady from the hotel suddenly enters the room as they're like covered in blood and have, you know, plastic all around rolling up a body. Like, what do they do? Right. That's what I thought was going to be the thing. And it's not that I was disappointed in what it was, but that's not what we got. So what I guess what I'm saying is the movie I was expecting, I didn't get, so I still want to watch that movie.
I that's what I'm saying. I was catfished. Yeah. But the concept is cool. At least I think so.
Matt (15:41.474)
It's up you were
Chris (15:41.714)
You were catfished. It sounds to me like you were catfished.
Matt (15:49.366)
Brad fished? George fished? No, I'm drawing it too hard.
Luciano (15:51.138)
Brett, wait, no.
Chris (15:51.196)
Hahaha
Brad George Pitt Clooney ploony fished.
Matt (15:56.908)
pit fished? yeah wolfs size wolfs fished wolf fished
Luciano (15:58.868)
I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah. Wolf, wolfished, wolfished works. There you go. There you go. We did it.
Chris (16:03.506)
Ha ha ha ha.
Okay, look, you just did it to yourself. Catfish, wolffish. Had to go full circle. Event Horizon.
Matt (16:11.234)
fish. Bark bark. We did it. That's a different movie entirely.
I do want to ask, this movie likes to play on tropes to a very wide range of effectiveness. know, with some of the old man tropes and both having a bad back, it's like, yeah, okay, maybe I'm coming onto that so I feel it. And other tropes, like you go to the city motel to interrogate the suspect and the only one you can get is the love nest, et cetera, et cetera. Like, how those hit?
Luciano (16:36.706)
Yeah.
Chris (16:46.452)
Yeah.
Luciano (16:46.646)
Yeah, that was less effective. I don't know. The motel scene especially to me was like, come on, stop hitting me with the giant piece of ham you have in your hands movie. Because we get it. It was last minute. None of them wanted to go to their place. That was another thing. just speaking of tropes that were overused, the whole like, nobody, I have my place and nobody knows where it is. it's like, it's like, okay, fine. We get it.
Matt (16:49.452)
Yeah.
Luciano (17:16.502)
You're lone wolves. Don't, you know. But for the most part, I'll, I see what you did there. I like it. For the most part, I thought they hit well, but there was some of them there. I think they played them too, like they leaned on them too much. Like the Motel one was one and just the, like the whole thing with June as well. Like.
Chris (17:19.804)
One's dead won't take me back to your dead
Matt (17:26.434)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (17:43.402)
You just I don't know about you guys, but I knew immediately when when Brad Pitt called his guy and then immediately Sorry, George Clooney calling and then Brad Pitt called it. I was like, it's the same guy Come on. There's no way that it's not and but then they did it Well when Clooney was driving and he said well left on division and it just does the fucking Clooney smirk I was like god damn it. This movie got me again Yeah
Matt (18:08.322)
Yeah, that's when the movie's at its best, right? When they give you a breadcrumb and then lead you to, yeah, know.
Chris (18:08.787)
You know?
Luciano (18:13.729)
Yeah.
Yeah. And, and I don't know, I was convinced by bread pizzas. Like, so you're sleeping with her too. And like Clooney says like sleeping with her. And it was like, fuck, motherfucker. You got me too. So for the most part, those drops hit, I don't know for you guys, for me, they hit well with the exception, with an exception or two.
Matt (18:38.902)
Yeah, I mean...
It's, I'm trying not to pick, because it's, it's not, some of the things that happen in the movies aren't tropes per se, it's just setups that happen to make movies go, you know? Like, the, yeah, yeah, right? Like, it's a trope, but it's like, it's not a trope where like, you have no emotions, but it's like, yes, this is a method to tell a story, so okay.
Luciano (18:55.468)
Like a drugged up kid running around in his underwear in the middle of winter.
Matt (19:08.642)
Whereas tropes are just like, this shit again, or, nice, I like that. And the kid with drugs running, it's like, yeah, okay. So many movies have done that. like not a trope anymore. But then the other thing is like when the Croatian, I believe, the Croatian's like, boss is like his fixer, for lack of a better term, notices the guns together, he declares them buddies.
Luciano (19:08.78)
Right.
Chris (19:11.155)
Yeah.
Luciano (19:13.151)
Right, right.
Chris (19:19.764)
Hmm.
Luciano (19:34.013)
no, that was so bad. That was like so contrived. No, that's it's not a trope. That's just awful. It's like writing.
Matt (19:36.426)
And I don't know if that's a trove, but it's just like...
Right, yeah.
Chris (19:42.644)
But it's so awful that it's become a crutch of sorts.
Luciano (19:47.572)
Yeah, yeah, like I would I would rather You know him have done something really stupid like pick up the guns and like make them do kissing noises and then go their buddies that would have been funnier than just looking at the guns at the table and I guess he thought they were buddies because they were the same gun like I That made no sense to me. That's it
Matt (19:59.906)
Yeah
Chris (20:07.7)
type of gun.
Matt (20:09.762)
So, so this kind of, this is the first time I thought about this, but do think they try to explain away, I have to preface this because I think, I just want to say this, you know how when we watch The Flash and The Flash had the world's worst CGI when he is going through the speed force and jumping from place to place, the director was like, that's how it's supposed to look, cause blah, blah, blah, is the explanation at the end of the movie that it was all set up to get them cleaned?
Chris (20:10.388)
It felt forced, but to me, but anyways.
Luciano (20:33.912)
I see.
Matt (20:39.58)
fixes all the weird storiness that we'll get into in the plot holes where like you jump from scene to scene to scene and they kind of don't actually connect or like like the things that happen like the buddies thing like Or like the the guy seeing them together and letting them go like connecting all those weird story points together meaningfully
Luciano (20:54.72)
Well, the latter yes, but the buddy's thing like very specifically does not get sold. Like the rest, yes. Like why was he so easily convinced that they didn't know each other, blah, blah, blah. I was like, that is the stupidest mob boss I've ever seen in my life. And then they explain it away. It's like, it's not that we convinced him, he was in on it. But then the bodyguard, he says the bodyguard wasn't in on it.
I was like, okay, so if he wasn't in on it, why the fuck did he think you guys were buddies? It doesn't really make sense.
Chris (21:27.068)
It's like the, no, the right-hand man is essentially like playing the role from the audience side to just push it to help the story along.
Luciano (21:36.645)
Yeah, the same with the plan of, we can't be seen together, but let's all go into the club together anyway. Yeah. It was like, why?
Chris (21:42.226)
I hate that shit. It wasn't, it's not funny.
Matt (21:43.614)
the world's smallest wedding venue.
Luciano (21:47.624)
Also that, yeah.
Chris (21:48.894)
Yeah, small. And that really great callback to the music of some of our childhoods and just life experiences, Mr. Vane, I was not expecting that.
Luciano (21:58.336)
Yeah, I had that song I was singing the other day. was like walking around the house singing and my wife was like, what the fuck is the matter with you? Haven't heard that song in like a million years. I was like, no, it was in the movie. Yeah.
Chris (22:09.5)
Howlin' Mr. Brown.
Call me Mr. Rain, rain. What the hell? Anyways, go on.
Luciano (22:19.88)
So I was surprised, pleasantly surprised, because that's like a guilty pleasure at this point. But I think most of the things were explained, and we're going to get into it, they were explained to a satisfying degree by the brutal piece of exposition we get at the end.
Matt (22:32.946)
Mm-hmm. Sure.
Matt (22:40.662)
Surprise twist ending.
Luciano (22:43.029)
I mean, yeah, is it a surprise when you're not expecting anything? No, I disagree.
Chris (22:48.062)
I was expecting this movie to be done.
Matt (22:52.832)
Why does... So you expect a surprise to be good?
Luciano (22:55.914)
No, that's not the point. The point is, as Robbie Williams says, if you don't expect nothing and nothing is expected, nothing is a surprise, whatever the lyrics of radio is. Well, for that one verse.
Chris (22:57.383)
Yeah, they should.
Chris (23:07.176)
When did he become your philosophy?
Robbie Williams? The Dow of Robbie Williams of what was the name? Take that fame. I'll put you back for good. he was sir. I think it was take that.
Matt (23:12.485)
One specific instant.
Luciano (23:15.329)
Yeah.
Luciano (23:19.276)
Was he in take that? He wasn't take that, was he? Okay. But anyway, like to me, what I'm saying, it's not like a surprise twist ending is because I wasn't expecting anything. I thought we were gonna end on, yeah, you know, they're now like buddy fixers or whatever.
Matt (23:35.618)
I don't, so just to answer the audience's questions or to echo, yes, Robbie Williams was in take that from 1990 until 1995 and they launched a solo career in 1996. Furthermore, when we step.
Luciano (23:44.823)
Okay.
Chris (23:49.896)
and outshound all the remaining members of Take That. Take That didn't get Take Out, they got Took Out.
Matt (23:56.482)
Thank you for interrupting me with whatever that was. No, it's cool.
Chris (23:58.792)
I'm sorry, sir.
Luciano (23:59.734)
And the lyrics are, nothing is surprising when nothing is expected. This has been the Take That Podcast.
Matt (24:04.93)
Cool, anyways, that's the opposite.
Matt (24:11.33)
The thing is, the definition for surprise is an unexpected or astonishing event, fact or thing. So by the definition of you not expecting the ending, it is a surprise.
Chris (24:17.204)
Mm-hmm. Hey see
Luciano (24:18.551)
Right.
Chris (24:22.932)
See? Lawyered. Gable. Gable.
Luciano (24:25.509)
fine semantics boy but but it's it's like was it surprising that they found out that they were the ones being cleaned yeah it was but but at the same time it was not not the way that they did it yeah the idea is cool but I would have loved to have been this have been a good example of show don't tell
Matt (24:38.998)
Was it good?
It was dumb.
Luciano (24:52.246)
And this was all Teleno show.
Chris (24:54.708)
Can we put you in the writers room right now? How would you spit game to the team likings of Brad Pitt and George Clooney? How would you do that?
Matt (24:54.881)
Well...
Luciano (25:03.564)
This is not that section of the episode, my friend. You have to hold your fucking horses.
Chris (25:09.075)
This is it.
not trying to skip nothing. I see the scene playing out in my head. Would you be able to do it?
Luciano (25:15.458)
So then keep it in your head until we get to the next section.
Matt (25:17.922)
First of all, the challenge here is that exposition is cheap and that is why they did this.
Luciano (25:24.032)
Yes. It's like Alien and versus Predator where there's just nonsense and then five minutes in the middle of the movie, one guy tells the other everything that they could not have possibly known and then the movie continues. Yeah.
Chris (25:29.588)
No. Do it! Do it now!
Matt (25:38.528)
Yeah. And then that's bad. So, so Chris, to answer your thing, it's, it's, to answer Arnold's thing, it's not that Brad Pitt and George Clooney would say no to Luciano's ideas. They probably all for it, but the story decides that we just need to do exposition here because we don't want to pay for like cutbacks or, or better story or better writer. Cause like, and like they're probably cool with it because like, well, I'm the world's best actor. So yeah, of course I can act this super good and problem solved.
Chris (25:43.284)
Come on!
Luciano (25:57.272)
I bet a better writer. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (26:06.648)
Well, that was some unexpected and unnecessary shade on the duo, but okay.
Chris (26:13.14)
felt the shade, that shade was marinating in some southern tea.
Matt (26:19.574)
That's the best marinade. Everyone knows that.
Chris (26:24.734)
GABBLE GABBLE
Luciano (26:26.292)
I have no idea what's happening right now.
Matt (26:26.678)
We're gaveling now. Listen, we're looking for a catch phrase and Chris is going through about 10 a minute just to see what sticks. It's fun. We'll find one eventually.
Luciano (26:32.514)
Ted, yeah.
Chris (26:34.184)
You you fight eventually.
Matt (26:39.874)
Everything, every word now is just fine. ha ha ha.
Luciano (26:41.226)
Yeah, every word now. Yeah. Ha ha! Yeah. Don't encourage him.
Matt (26:48.948)
The... He's fine. He's doing great.
Chris (26:50.356)
I'm good.
Matt (26:56.034)
Would you have rather just seen an ocean, what, 14? Or, they did 11, 12, and 13, right? Wait, now that's hard because Bernie Mac's dead, and we're not counting it, because that was a different crew. So Bernie Mac's dead, that's, Saul's dead too, so we're back down to Ocean's 11. Ocean, yeah, so, like, like,
Luciano (27:01.984)
Ocean's 14?
Chris (27:04.572)
It's the SO-
Luciano (27:06.464)
Yeah, and then eight.
Chris (27:13.95)
Yeah, yeah, so is Saul, I think.
Luciano (27:19.104)
Yeah, well in this case we're at oceans 2.
Matt (27:25.022)
most of the crew come back, like would that have been a better, is that the way like, like it's nice to get a different story, but like it felt like they just wanted to do an oceans movie.
Chris (27:34.27)
think that's exactly what they wanted to do and they wanted to be sly about it. like Clooney and Pitt, must be like, must see, we don't get very many duo pairings across show business. Like consistently you got the Smothers brothers, you got Belle Biv Devo, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got Sonny and Cher, you've got the Rat Pack, but then Ocean's Eleven comes and then they remake it in modern times.
Matt (27:50.85)
This is a random ass list.
Luciano (27:53.686)
Yeah.
Chris (28:03.73)
And then like the best broseph, you know, broseph of that ever bro relationship forges and they don't, they can't help but not want to do it. They've spent the rest of their careers trying to get back to this point. This has been premeditated.
Luciano (28:15.69)
I think that's very uncharitable. Did they want to put George Clooney and Brad Pitt together acting and just interacting with each other because they have great chemistry? For sure, because they knew it would sell just from the fact that they were together. It's not like they're the same characters just masquerading as other characters.
Chris (28:26.132)
They're puppets. They're aware. Aware puppets. Well, don't mind if I do. Putz. Schmuck. Yeah.
Chris (28:46.472)
But that's what they do in Jack Lemmon, Walter Mathow.
Matt (28:49.342)
No, but like, why don't you have any modern references?
Luciano (28:50.232)
It's but not even that like I'm I'm a huge friend of grumpy old man, but that was not what was happening there. Here's a movie I would have wanted to have seen Walter Matow and Jack Lemmon as clean cleaners that I would have liked to have seen. Both. Yes, yes.
Chris (28:53.768)
You don't know?
Matt (29:04.044)
Well, listen, they're both dead. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Chris (29:04.82)
So we need to resurrect them, right? We need to resurrect them both and then listen, we only have so much budget. We spent it all on bringing you two back. This is what's left. The world is going to end unless you motherfuckers learn these lines and shoot this shit for humanity.
Luciano (29:14.921)
Yeah, we...
Luciano (29:22.039)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah you do, we can add Bernie's cleaner edition.
Matt (29:29.3)
Is burning a cleaner?
Chris (29:29.315)
my God.
Matt (29:33.58)
Bernie's the best cleaner.
Chris (29:35.06)
Birdie's the best cleaner because he was alive the whole time. They shot two pocket biggie.
Luciano (29:38.356)
Yeah.
Matt (29:38.402)
the whole time.
Luciano (29:41.057)
Eh.
Matt (29:41.556)
Chris, your team references of two actors have thrown me for a loop and I do not remember what we were talking about. No, no clue at all. But, okay. Sure.
Luciano (29:46.658)
You
Chris (29:51.462)
Really?
Luciano (29:53.922)
So, okay, so I have a question then while you get your bearings. So I don't know about you, Chris, but I think, Matt, I know you're an Android person, right? So you're not like into the Apple world. Are you, Chris, an Android person too?
Chris (29:54.43)
Aww.
Matt (30:03.422)
Yep. No.
Chris (30:06.632)
Why would you ask me that question? I am an Android user.
Luciano (30:10.08)
Yeah. So how did you guys feel? Cause I don't know if you guys had watched a lot of stuff from Apple TV plus I have, because every time I buy a new iPhone, I get three months free. And that's all the only time I ever get Apple TV plus. How did it feel to watch an hour and 50 minute commercial for iPhones? Cause that's what like every everything that's on Apple TV plus. And I've watched a lot of things there. They make sure to show the phones and to use the ringtones that are exclusive.
Matt (30:18.113)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (30:23.39)
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (30:37.984)
and to use like the, like how did it feel for you guys? Like, was it overt? Did you guys notice it? Really? Interesting.
Matt (30:42.348)
didn't notice it, didn't think twice about him using an iPhone. Everything they said about iPhones, my brain was just like, blocks it out. I couldn't give a fuck.
Chris (30:42.932)
Same, same.
Luciano (30:49.428)
Okay, no, that's good. Cause I was like, why would you like they showed the thing and they show Siri and all that stuff. Why stop doing that.
Chris (30:57.384)
They think, see they thought they were being slick by placing only their tech in the movie. But for users who are not familiar with it, we don't know what the fuck it is. It's just a device. You must like product placement. It'll be great. People will see it and they will want it. As the other user like, huh, phone. There was a phone in this movie. I remember the pay phone. Wasn't there a pay phone traditional in this movie? I think there was a booth at one point.
Luciano (31:05.462)
Yeah.
Matt (31:07.574)
having a fucking clue.
Luciano (31:13.024)
Nope. Yeah, it's a smartphone.
Luciano (31:22.424)
I think so, at one point. Yeah.
Matt (31:24.106)
Yeah, maybe. Chris is right. I could spend a thousand podcasts talking about how I think advertisements are a scam and I don't think businesses actually get any value they think they get out of them. We're not here for that. But Chris's point is accurate. When I watch a movie, you got to fucking do Reese's Pieces level of product placement in the E.T. to catch anybody's attention.
Chris (31:26.696)
That's what I remember.
FAIL!
Chris (31:47.732)
Mmm!
Luciano (31:48.608)
Like, ha, did you know you can make calls with Siri, your personal assistant? Like, yeah. Or like one of those like super forest lines where you go, I don't know. I don't know what my contact, where my contact list is. I don't know how to find it. Well, have you thought about asking Siri? You see Siri is like one of those? Yeah.
Chris (31:53.428)
Yeah, that would have helped. That would have helped. but that makes...
Matt (31:53.986)
That might have helped, honestly.
Chris (32:11.892)
You did it! did it! Hats off, sir! The flow and the structure were perfect! You were spinning, man! That's the equation!
Matt (32:13.442)
Might as well.
Luciano (32:18.972)
Yeah, because to me, because I have always had an iPhone, when they show Margaret like scrolling through the list to find those, I was like, why would you show me that?
Matt (32:28.994)
Didn't know it was.
Chris (32:33.19)
It was, I know, now that you say it, that was someone who was like, why the fuck does her phone look that way?
Luciano (32:38.808)
Because it's an iPhone. Okay. I was just very curious because it happens in every single thing. Like all the series that I watched there, all of the movies that I watched there, it's always, they always have an iPhone in their hands. It's always Macs everywhere.
Matt (32:39.298)
Didn't even, I'm a robot. didn't even fucking, I was like, pictures on a phone. Cool. I'm going to go look over here for a minute.
Chris (32:43.444)
I'm gonna skip past this scene
Really?
Matt (32:56.31)
You know what? Luciano's right, when I watched Greyhound, the World War II movie where they're hunting submarines, Tom Hanks always had an iPhone in his hand. So you are right, I didn't notice it.
Luciano (33:02.616)
Was he eating an apple at any point in this movie? Yeah, okay. Like he takes a bite of the apple and goes, huh?
Matt (33:09.27)
Always.
Chris (33:10.172)
Listen, this makes so much sense because I now should remember that
I remember when Morgan Freeman was driving Miss Daisy, he had an iPhone and he just like, okay, ma'am. And he just like, the smartphones didn't exist in driving Miss Daisy. That's the joke.
Luciano (33:22.496)
Yeah, of course, in the dashboard of the car, right?
Luciano (33:29.356)
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for fucking explaining you do.
Matt (33:30.464)
But famously Apple did, Apple produced that movie. So great. You didn't have to, just saying. You don't have to. Gavel yourself.
Chris (33:35.026)
Y'all didn't give me nothing on that one. Yo, G'Night! Gabble, gabble! Anyways.
Luciano (33:36.916)
Jesus yeah, yeah Yeah in the head
Chris (33:46.108)
Yeah
Matt (33:46.23)
We're gonna use whatever that was and we're gonna say we're gonna segue. This is the best segue I've done yet to date mark it down. Plot holes. I don't know November or something. We're doing a plot hole. It's there's only really one plot hole in this movie, but you'll understand why.
Luciano (33:48.032)
Is it a segue? Let's go.
Chris (33:53.271)
shit, what date is it today? Yes, okay.
Luciano (33:55.434)
Hey, look at that.
Chris (33:58.708)
True. Yeah.
Matt (34:05.122)
There's about 140 minutes of movie that happens before we get to the diner scene where they figure out that they're the ones that are being cleaned. And when that happens, all I can think about is that
Chris (34:14.119)
UGH!
Chris (34:18.013)
You
Matt (34:22.69)
The plot of the movie was crammed in that last 15 minutes.
Chris (34:26.141)
Yeah, it was uncomfortable.
Luciano (34:26.828)
Well, they speak so rapid fire I had to watch it a couple of times.
Chris (34:29.458)
Yeah. I did not.
Matt (34:29.536)
Right. And so when you look at the rest of the movie, it's like, is the movie the plot hole? Because nothing happens in the movie. Sorry, stuff happens. But the characters don't have any growth. They don't learn any skills. They don't go on any arc.
Chris (34:37.108)
See
Luciano (34:39.872)
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
Luciano (34:48.084)
No. All that they do is begrudgingly accept that they have to work together because reasons. Yeah.
Chris (34:49.554)
No. No.
Matt (34:54.368)
Yes.
Chris (34:54.644)
Yeah, it's playing one note on an instrument for the whole, for 140 minutes and then now you got notes?
Luciano (35:00.118)
Yeah. I had never seen, I had never before seen like a plot shaped like a plunger, which is what this was. Like I was so mad because the idea was good. The idea of like, shit, this was on the elaborate plan put together by their guy, whoever, like their handler or whatever it is to clean them because of the other thing that they
Chris (35:26.846)
Nails.
Luciano (35:29.616)
mentioned in passing, but fucking show it to me throughout the movie that this is happening somehow. Right. There was one, there was literally one scene where they tried to do that and it's so weird and it never comes back. It's when they're outside of June's place and she says, you two better be careful. And then like Clooney leaves to get the car and Brad Pitt looks and there's some weird dude looking at him on the other side of the street.
Chris (35:35.964)
I love that you said to clean them.
Matt (35:37.995)
Mwahaha
Matt (35:57.014)
Yep. Yeah.
Luciano (35:58.548)
And then when they were going through the thing, was like, so that was like probably someone. was like, motherfucker, show it to me. Take the fucking screen away from from gloony and pit for two seconds to show me something. It's okay.
Matt (36:05.172)
Nope. Yep.
Matt (36:13.41)
You can, you can, even if you took all that exposition at the end of the movie, and like they kind of try to do it with Looney being like, there's a bigger picture, there's a bigger picture, but they need to work it out in real time, not just like fucking Ocean's Eleven, the ending of this movie where, you know, they show you the heist and the actual real heist was running the heist. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they, yeah, you're welcome.
Chris (36:13.748)
Hmm.
Luciano (36:23.063)
Right.
Luciano (36:26.913)
Yeah.
Luciano (36:30.844)
Yeah. fuck, that's exactly what they did. Yes. I hadn't noticed until you said it. You're right. Fucking the Ocean the Levin this. Yeah.
Chris (36:43.076)
Look, I told you this was premeditated.
Matt (36:45.538)
Yeah.
Luciano (36:45.676)
Well, clearly, but like they could have stopped. Yeah.
Chris (36:47.305)
Devil.
Matt (36:50.07)
The gaveling thing's not working for me, I'm not gonna lie to you.
Chris (36:52.446)
It doesn't need to work for you, I feel great when I say it.
Luciano (36:56.033)
Jesus Christ. like they could have done it in a way, it would have even been cooler if by the time they reached the diner, they were already ready for the cleaning crew. Right? Because like you showed.
Matt (37:07.486)
Yeah, yeah, that would be great. Like they're talking about it as they go to the diner and they're collecting weapons and planning like... Yeah.
Chris (37:12.36)
Yeah
Luciano (37:14.072)
Yeah, like where you don't even, it would be funny if they did it in a way, fun if they did it in a way where they're like in the subway and they started talking about it in sort of like metaphor or like in a way that isn't very clear. And then they show one of them going to some like random place in the city, picking up a stash of like a bag. The other guy goes also picks up like a briefcase or whatever. And they meet at the diner. They find out, they find out it's the same diner. And then by the time they get there and we see, because
The scene of the cleaning crew assembly outside is pretty cool. If you watch it again, it's very slowly, like some random people just stop and turn and stop and turn and stop and turn. It would have been cool if they were like, okay, let's do this. Like each of them opened the thing, it's like a fucking arsenal. That would have been cooler then. It was very like lazy. I think that's the...
Chris (38:05.756)
It was a br- it sucked. It was reverse sucked. It was the reverse of a vacuum cleaner. shot to- it was worse than a fire hose.
Luciano (38:11.851)
Yeah.
Matt (38:12.834)
Blow is the reverse of suck.
Luciano (38:15.072)
Yes.
Chris (38:15.472)
Yeah, it's like an air duster to your like to in your mouth just like a sum 41 video. too much information No, I said too much that was pg
Luciano (38:21.377)
I don't like where this is going. You could have said there was like, it was like a...
Matt (38:25.474)
How is Aaron dusting your mouth like a 741 video? I just gotta, I gotta know. You don't need to show me, explain to me. I don't.
Chris (38:31.164)
I can't do that with this. It's just, you pull the trigger and then the force air, force expands your entire mouth and then your face gets all doughnutty. That's what I mean.
Luciano (38:31.544)
I don't understand.
Luciano (38:46.184)
Hold on if force expands your mouth like you become a dyad you become the dyad is that what happens? a dyad of air
Matt (38:49.066)
He uses the force. His cheeks become a dyad and they expand out.
Chris (38:49.522)
Like the Force! Swaa!
Chris (38:54.398)
That's not, I don't like how you say cheats. I don't like that. don't, phrasing, sir. Phrasing. No, no, no diddy.
Matt (39:00.706)
But at no point have you explained why that was like a Sum 41 video. In the Sum 41.
Chris (39:07.892)
just did that's what they did that's that's some funny listen sub 41 rest in peace that is their legacy the whole slow motion jowl shake thing
Matt (39:16.322)
I don't, I'm not sure you got 741 at all, but we're, can't.
Luciano (39:19.704)
I don't think you know Sum 41, what a legacy is. Yes.
Matt (39:25.728)
We can't spend any more time on this. just had to ask the one question. It's not. No.
Chris (39:27.4)
GABBLE!
Chris (39:31.188)
It's working because it's the punctuation. Sometimes people want more seasoning in your voice so you just segue. I got you. Yeah!
Luciano (39:39.618)
Jesus. No, no, no, stop this.
Matt (39:46.338)
If the gavel is the thing to segue, you know we only change topics like 3 or 4 times. Yet listeners, how many times has this man said gavel in this episode to date? We're 40 minutes in, just 12? Please.
Chris (39:46.452)
Go for it.
Chris (39:59.284)
Probably 12.
Luciano (40:00.632)
Too many. However many it was, it was too many.
Matt (40:05.218)
It's like 40.
Chris (40:05.524)
You gotta try it. Try it. Each of you try it right now. Gapple.
Luciano (40:07.947)
No. No.
Matt (40:08.382)
No, I refuse based on principle alone. I do have a follow-up question to the movie and the plot holes we see I Guess we see these scenes that are all stitched like okay The first scene makes a lot of sense they put the you know, they go to the hotel. They both show up They clean up the hotel. They have to work together That's all fine And then they put the kid in the back of the car in the second scene and they try to drive the car away with the kid and the kid escapes That's all all good all flows
Luciano (40:12.587)
Okay.
How is that what we're talking about?
Luciano (40:28.888)
Right.
Chris (40:37.31)
Hmm.
Matt (40:37.974)
And then we chase the kid. It's like, okay, well, he ran away. You got to chase him. And a long time. I thought it'd be funnier. Like I thought it'd come back around, but it kind of didn't. But whatever. That's not what we're talking about. But then we catch the kid and then we're finding out like the kid is, we like the kid and he's doing this other job for his friend and he has drugs and is he dumb or isn't he dumb? Is secretly a genius? I don't know. And then they have to go help this kid in his drug bus cause reasons. And then
Luciano (40:41.464)
Chase him for a long time. Yeah.
Chris (40:43.322)
A long time.
Chris (40:47.412)
See you Alice.
Luciano (40:53.9)
This other, Yeah.
Matt (41:06.818)
You know, the Croatians are like, can't be seen by the Croatians, but we're definitely all going in together. And all of it just starts to spin out of control, right? So is there one scene, is it the Croatian thing that you're just like, you're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Luciano (41:10.872)
Hahaha
Yeah.
Luciano (41:21.432)
I think it starts to unspool from the thread starts to fall off of the spool when...
Chris (41:29.79)
You're explaining the same thing twice. You were good the first time, man. Believe in yourself. Why believe in you? See? Yes! no, it was...
Luciano (41:34.454)
gavel, gavel. Maybe that'll shut him up. Now, I think it starts to unravel for me when like that chase scene goes on too long and then they catch the kid and then we get a B plot when the A plot wasn't even there. was like, there's this drug thing and Lagrange and some other ZZ Top song. I don't know. Right. And then it's like, what?
Matt (41:51.466)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (42:03.22)
She's got a leg!
Luciano (42:05.1)
What, what the good song I was like, what the fuck is happening? Like it's like the movie takes a, like a wrong left turn at Albuquerque to quote the wise bugs bunny. And that that's to me when it starts to go like, okay, this is weird. It's not bad. Like the movie never, at least to me and spoiler alert for the, the ending, doesn't really get bad to me, but it starts going in a weird direction. And by the time we hit the fucking.
Chris (42:17.492)
That's all folks, that's Porky.
Luciano (42:35.458)
club, we already had the stupid motel scene, we had the whole conversation about being lone wolves and the, I was thought like this by my master, the Darth cleaner, whatever. Yeah.
Matt (42:51.074)
Christopher Lambert, is that you?
Chris (42:54.544)
It is I. There can be only two.
Luciano (42:58.653)
I am a cleaner. So like...
Chris (43:02.302)
Shavex or mr. Clean
Luciano (43:04.888)
Yeah, that was pretty good, actually. to me, that's when it starts. It feels like... So I've run many, many RPG campaigns, right? And I felt that felt... Yes. Yes. Yeah, I know what my audience is, but that felt like when the DM...
Matt (43:06.082)
It's not bad actually. Good job.
Matt (43:19.645)
NERD!
Chris (43:22.012)
NORMAR!
Luciano (43:30.262)
had the first half of the story down pat and it's like it's cool and everything works and then you get to the point where he didn't have time to think what was coming next and it's just whatever he can think of it at the yes you go to a club where you both have had dealings with the mob boss that's there but you can't be seen together but you're a party you have to go in together yeah so you have to go in together because reasons and now
Wait, but then they shouldn't know. So, okay, so the bodyguard was gonna find out that you're actually, but like, you know what I mean? Like it feels like it's like, how can I put this? It's like whatever the first idea that came out of someone's head is what ended up in the paper.
Matt (44:16.864)
Yeah. mean, I, least in, in like D and D as an example, the bodyguard can roll a nat 20 on insight and you have a plausible excuse as to why he knew.
Luciano (44:26.185)
Yeah, that's what happened there. That's what happened there. He looked at the two. He looked at the two guns and he saw pattern like the guns against the pattern of the the tablecloth and he was like, aha buddies, like what the fuck? Yeah.
Matt (44:39.382)
Yeah, I think that well, I mean that's that's just that's it right? It's it's that as the movie goes on the the reasons for things happening in the story Become more strenuous and and like you these guys are like I'm the best of what I do right and it's like but are you though cuz like
Luciano (44:54.2)
yeah but i yeah are you if you only figured out you're about to get like cleaned at the very end
Chris (44:54.302)
Hmm. Hmm.
Matt (45:01.16)
Yeah, it feels like you're not great at this job. It feels like you might be bad at this job. But like, but it's like they're not cleaning, right? Like you brought that up before, right? so, so like is the fix here to have them clean more or is the fix here to make them smarter so they predict these things? Or come with a plan like when they go into the wedding?
Luciano (45:05.452)
You're like the bee team. Yeah.
Luciano (45:19.03)
Well...
Luciano (45:22.38)
Well, the... The whole...
Chris (45:25.042)
I would respect them more if they had if they had leveraged their intelligence the supposed wolf God to your fixer intelligence if they picked up on this stuff earlier because then Whether or not we get a reveal as to like their mate like their same agent like that's that's a you could deal with that or not If it's just weird
Luciano (45:35.883)
Yeah.
Luciano (45:46.744)
It could have showed them like playing 4D chess, right? Where they notice that they're being set up and they do something like, because what their handler does is he knows them so well that he can kind of anticipate what they're going to do. That's what I understood from that fucking back and forth. That felt like the architect scene in Matrix 2, that was so fast that they were talking. So.
Chris (45:55.06)
Did you see? I thought I had to.
Matt (46:10.963)
related. Yeah.
Luciano (46:14.088)
If they could have flipped the script on the guy and because they know him so well as well kind of like turned it around that would have been cooler than them just realizing in the last two minutes of the movie that they're about to get fucked.
Chris (46:18.569)
Alright.
Matt (46:32.086)
Right. So they should have wolves the wolf is what I'm understanding.
Luciano (46:35.864)
Yeah. So because I don't think with the plot they wanted to show in this movie, they couldn't show more cleaning because the cleaning was just a means to an end. Right. They clearly don't just do what they were doing for the DA, which is like disposing of a body, blah, blah, blah. They clearly like they talk about the other jobs that they did and someone went in and it was a shit show. And then there was evidence, but then the evidence got exploded, blah, blah, blah. So they clearly do cleaning that is different than just, you know, having a bunch of
Matt (47:04.684)
bodies. Yeah.
Luciano (47:05.708)
bodies to eliminate. So maybe if they did that type of cleaning more, like maybe they had to shoot someone and they had to dispose of that and make it look like an accident or whatever the case may be. Maybe that would have helped. But if they wanted the plot to be, these two guys are going to be cleaned and someone's trying to sort of play, like I said, 4D chess with them and have them do what they predicted they're going to do.
Chris (47:06.708)
Bodies, bodies, bodies.
Chris (47:19.806)
Sounds.
Luciano (47:35.678)
have them turn it around, not just go, shit, we're about to get fucked in the very last end of the movie, at least for me.
Chris (47:42.344)
Then freeze frame!
Luciano (47:44.319)
Hahaha
Chris (47:46.208)
They wouldn't have stood a chance. Like, there's makes no sense for them to slide down in that, I don't know, 1950s diner. Like, that's no cover, but whatever. Not really.
Luciano (47:53.356)
Diner? Yeah, yeah.
Matt (47:57.698)
I mean, again, the ending is this challenge, right? Cause it makes no sense with the rest of the movie.
Luciano (48:02.473)
I mean, if they escaped a firing squad from the bodyguard from the Croatian behind a car.
Chris (48:08.564)
true and not one of them got a scratch at the end of the movie. Nothing. It's the heaviest plot armor there is.
Luciano (48:11.128)
Not a single scratch. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (48:17.57)
Well, mean, yeah, no, because they went to the doc to get like a cure for the drugs to keep us on right to help them recover. Yeah, I mean.
Chris (48:20.68)
Vegas.
Luciano (48:25.514)
Yeah, yeah. That would actually have been cool if one of them got charred and had to go back to June, right, to get patched up.
Matt (48:30.466)
Sure. Yeah. I think that's thing is, is nothing that happened in the movie.
hints at the surprise ending. And so it really feels like they tested this movie and audiences like that was it. Like audience expected more Ocean's 11. And then just because it's super easy to put them in a diner and film it. Right. Like that's that's so cheap because it's just like it doesn't even the dots they connect are like I mean if you say so.
Luciano (48:41.197)
Yeah.
Luciano (48:49.464)
right. And then they added the end afterwards.
100%.
Luciano (49:03.137)
It's so like contrived. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris (49:06.705)
It's salad bar, man.
Matt (49:08.482)
Yeah, it is. It's just word salad, you're right. how do we, know, if we're talking about fixing this, there, is there, cause, yeah, cause I mean like, one thing I'll say and then can go Chris is like, if these very few actors could have pulled off what they did at the end in terms of like, it was still entertaining even though it was dumb as hell. And if you have worse actors, woof.
Luciano (49:09.047)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (49:11.464)
I came for food.
Chris (49:16.274)
Yes. Okay, can I go first?
Luciano (49:29.175)
Yeah.
yeah, if it was basically anybody else, I would say.
Matt (49:36.618)
Right. Anyways, Chris, how do we fix this?
Chris (49:39.156)
So there's something creatively triggering about the word cleaning. And I was like, what would it, I'm suddenly drawn to this idea of two things. One, no disrespect to Pitt and Clooney, but it feels like instead of going for AAA blockbuster action film or, you know.
slow ramp up like gangster, then the action really hits his peak where they're gonna have to get very physical. I think this is the show of them accepting their age. Like they're not doing a lot. Like the most that takes place is Brad Pitt going for a brisk jog and then grabs his side. So instead of all that, that's their low energy, high energy, have the clean, how do you clean as like a gangster to your special fixer in the whole, how do you clean a whole fucking hotel?
almost like, and then what happens? like, similar to like the tower action movies where there's a fight, but I'm not saying they have to do that, but what if they just have a hotel of dead bodies, bro?
Luciano (50:36.443)
that you know that would have that would have been yeah
Luciano (50:46.562)
Now, what if, and this would be making an entirely different movie, but I don't care. But what if the entire movie is set on that hotel and every time they try to do something, fuck something else, that they have to go clean?
Chris (51:01.569)
Yeah, crisscross wires and trigger... what? Trip wires.
Luciano (51:02.712)
right? And then at the end they have to have done a bunch of stuff in the whole hotel and there's police and all that shit. hear me out on the devil's advocate in this. If they weren't able to string together a cohesive plot, a decent plot that is simple as the one that we got, imagine something much more convoluted. It would have sucked.
Matt (51:19.35)
No way.
Luciano (51:27.32)
So the fix, Matt, is to get better writers. Well.
Matt (51:30.122)
Okay, I'm not, I'm listen, I'm not against that. It's, you're, you're at least trying to fix the movie we watched where Chris just wrote an entirely new movie to satisfy the answer. All answers are valid if it's not dodging the question. That's okay. I think that part of the reason why the answers are like that is it's like, it's such a systemic problem because like, you, we talked a little bit about it. The best you can do is probably go into the movie and insert them learning.
Chris (51:30.164)
We've got to send Luciano in
Luciano (51:38.442)
Yeah.
Chris (51:39.944)
Okay, fix.
Luciano (51:45.005)
Thanks.
Matt (51:59.434)
as they go through scenes, pick up. When Clooney says, there's always a bigger picture, let them get glimpses of it, let them get more glimpses of the picture.
Luciano (52:05.13)
Yeah, and let us see a glimpse as well.
Matt (52:08.736)
Yeah, I mean, that's just it, right? Make that guy that sees Pitt outside the Doc's place show up again. Show up a third time.
Chris (52:09.012)
What's the cookie?
Luciano (52:10.423)
Yeah.
Chris (52:16.402)
Hey!
Luciano (52:16.652)
Yeah, on the phone, on the phone talking to someone, right? Make the same thing with the mob boss, the creation. Getting a phone call right as they're entering the... Right? No, we don't have to know who it is from, but give us a chance to solve the mystery before the characters do. Right? Show things like...
Matt (52:19.702)
Yeah.
Chris (52:27.806)
Yeah.
from the guy.
Chris (52:40.956)
But that guy on the street knew something that was something
Luciano (52:44.662)
Well, that was the implication, but there's nothing to show for it, right?
Matt (52:44.758)
We don't know.
Matt (52:48.834)
He doesn't come back ever again, so it's meaningless because we can't. don't get... Like the part of the thing of the movie does not realize, and I'm not saying this is this movie's problem specifically, but like... We're like... We're not... There's usually a character that's the surrogate for the audience or like that happens, but like... If you want... If you... We did, yeah. Right, and then gone. But like if you're gonna show me a twist ending, you have to show me...
Luciano (52:51.138)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:07.936)
We got one, we got one for the first five minutes of the movie. Yeah.
Matt (53:18.178)
either how the people I'm with get there or show me the pieces outside of them so I'm there when they solve it and I'm like, yeah, nice they solved it. Because if you're just like springing on me at the last second, that's garbage.
Luciano (53:20.845)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:27.924)
And also, exactly, this was gonna say and also hint at what the non-twist ending would be. Right? That's why I said it wasn't really a surprise because I wasn't expecting anything. That's what I meant. It's like, there was no... Yeah, that's why I'm explaining it. there was nothing... Like, there was no like, this is what happened. It just seemed like a workday gone wrong for them. Right? That's what it felt like. And then there was this whole twist.
Chris (53:36.788)
What does that mean?
Matt (53:42.434)
You're still using that ROM.
Luciano (53:57.196)
But there was no other sort of end game or pay dirt to hit, right?
Chris (54:05.758)
They knew if they did that though, they get, if they executing, executing a twist would tip this movie over into blatant oceans territory because that's.
Matt (54:17.89)
That's fine if you do it well. I don't care.
Luciano (54:20.63)
Yeah. It doesn't matter that it's you know, I guess, a concept or borrowing, not really a concept, but borrowing like a mood and a feel of the movie. Because that's really what the Ocean's Eleven movie is about, Like sure it's heist, but it's also like the ambience and the vibe. That's the word it was looking for. I don't mind that they wanted to make another Ocean's kind of vibe movie.
Chris (54:23.604)
Hmm.
Chris (54:41.76)
Duh-vaa-byyyy
Luciano (54:47.628)
But do it well. I don't care that it's not a new thing, just do it well.
Matt (54:53.122)
It's problematic because they want to have the same characters from the Ocean movie in this movie, but they don't let these characters be as smart and talented at their jobs as those characters were.
Luciano (55:07.722)
Yeah, that's true because Daniel Ocean was always on top of like he knew what the fuck is going on all the time Right. Yeah
Matt (55:12.96)
Yeah. Yeah. And so when you see them explain away things that happen, like it happens more in Ocean 12. Is it 12? With the fox, the thief? That's 12, right? Anyways, well, you even watch the Ocean's movies?
Luciano (55:24.682)
I think so. I think so.
Chris (55:24.788)
I don't know. I was actually thinking like, nevermind. I was thinking of Ocean's Eleven metaphysically. Carry on.
Luciano (55:35.426)
Jesus, I don't wanna know what that means.
Matt (55:35.926)
I don't even want to know. That's, no, we're moving past that. Anyway, so it's just, it's one of those things where best of intentions and worst of applications in terms of how they did it.
Chris (55:40.788)
you
Luciano (55:46.55)
Yeah.
Chris (55:49.758)
Hmmmm
Luciano (55:49.826)
Yeah, it's it's we've been seeing this a lot I feel where it's a good idea that is poorly executed.
Matt (56:00.162)
I mean, that's Hollywood.
Luciano (56:01.142)
Yeah. Well, Hollywood is one of two things. Yeah, it's one of two things, right? Either they're trying to remake something that was successful without understanding why it was successful or
Chris (56:01.588)
The West Side Boys are rounding the corner!
Matt (56:11.522)
You
Chris (56:12.404)
Apple was trying to do it. Apple was trying to do Hollywood.
Luciano (56:16.019)
they did it.
Matt (56:18.199)
Have they though? They're bad at Hollywood.
Chris (56:18.494)
But that does mean it did it well.
Luciano (56:22.109)
No, because they did exactly what we're saying, right? It's just Hollywood is bad and they did the bad thing. Well, it's basically what happened.
Chris (56:25.758)
But not well.
Matt (56:29.246)
but
Chris (56:31.188)
What the f- the bad thing? Well... They sing!
Matt (56:32.834)
How many V's are in wolves?
Luciano (56:39.66)
Three.
Matt (56:40.578)
Let's just get to the fun questions.
Chris (56:43.7)
Devil gavel!
Matt (56:46.55)
least you stopped using it for a while.
Chris (56:46.706)
It's growing on you! I got Luciano and now I'm rounding second side.
Luciano (56:50.304)
No, I tried it because I thought it would shut you up. Clearly my mistake. Yeah.
Chris (56:53.724)
You're wrong, which is another podcast we made. But anyways.
Matt (56:57.16)
Don't listen to it. don't. That's fine. We can't get any advertisement out of it. Who cares? How do you, how does a Brad Pitt out of the George Clooney, how is a Matt Damon? How do they become a wolf?
Luciano (56:59.392)
No, listen to it, fuck you! Go listen to it too if you want.
Chris (57:01.972)
You
Luciano (57:14.296)
Chris (57:17.265)
you
Luciano (57:17.346)
So I think you have to be bitten by a cursed wolf in the full moon? that how that goes? Yeah.
Matt (57:25.132)
cursed like with lycanthropy or like a different curse.
Chris (57:27.39)
Bad plot?
Luciano (57:28.886)
Yeah, that's right. Thank you for explaining the joke, you motherfucker.
Chris (57:32.436)
I said bad plot, cursed with bad plot.
Luciano (57:34.942)
No, don't be meta. It's too early for you to be meta like this. How do you become a wolf? Think you need to go to Tibet. So here's, okay, I know this is supposed to be just the answer, but fuck you, I'm gonna expound it. They go like, the way I was thought, you're supposed to be alone because the only way to be trusted is if you trust no one. And I was like, that's some Tibetan monk shit right there. So maybe they have to go to Tibet like,
Chris (57:40.286)
Curse contains potassium benzoate.
Matt (57:44.279)
Okay.
Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. I hit it.
Luciano (58:04.64)
walk up a mountain during the winter alone and find the wolf guru at the top, which is kind of like Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but instead of a rat, he's a wolf. And that wolf man teaches you how to clean. He hands you a mop and he says, wax on, wax off, Daniel-san.
Chris (58:08.294)
Mmm, I like this.
Chris (58:14.164)
Chris (58:18.93)
Yeah, okay. I'm here for that.
Matt (58:21.228)
Sure.
Matt (58:27.444)
In this scenario,
Chris (58:27.454)
with JavX. First you with, go over there.
Matt (58:33.676)
Great. In this scenario, is his mom the wolf or is his dad the wolf?
Chris (58:36.094)
Bye.
Luciano (58:40.321)
Yes.
Chris (58:42.524)
shit.
Matt (58:42.69)
than if he's a wolf man.
Luciano (58:44.81)
Yeah. Listen, it's current year. Don't you assume his gender?
Chris (58:45.428)
What is happening? I don't know what's happening. This is...
Matt (58:52.546)
Biologically, in order to have a wolf child, he biologically engineered? that? He's alpha cleaner?
Luciano (58:57.4)
Sure. Wait, who are you asking about? The person who is the guru or Brad Pitt? When he walked up that mountain. Okay. Yes, he gets bioengineered. The guru has a high tech medical facility at the top of the mountain in his grotto.
Chris (58:58.022)
HUH?
What? No.
Matt (59:02.283)
Yes!
Yeah, obviously. Yes. Yes, obviously. Yes.
Matt (59:16.428)
So basically Brad Pitt and George Clooney are clones.
Luciano (59:20.652)
Yeah, didn't you hear what the kid said? You're basically the same person.
Matt (59:23.49)
But you know, we figured it out.
Chris (59:24.062)
Holy shit, it's Gemini
Luciano (59:29.526)
Yeah, I yield my time. Clearly I've answered the question.
Matt (59:32.085)
yeah, great, great. Clearly you've answered the question. Chris, do you have any different ideas?
Chris (59:33.798)
Wow.
That was actually pretty fucking dope. I'm almost ready to yield my time, but the question remains, I'm not. Gamble! So I need you.
Matt (59:42.06)
He's not gonna. He never will.
Luciano (59:52.093)
Jesus.
Chris (59:53.384)
The idea of how one becomes a wolf, I feel, starts off more rooted in the, how would you say, in the environment that I think it needs to, in the habitat within it needs to exist. In the grimiest of cities, that's where you get, each semester is several hard knocks of fixer life. And you've gotta be ready to kill, steal, network. I'm not finished! Okay, go for it.
Luciano (01:00:16.984)
You're talking you're talking about like internship like i'm asking you a question to elaborate Are you asking are you saying that it's like an internship where you go? Okay now the second year of your internship you have to go to chicago to learn all of that shit over there. Okay?
Chris (01:00:29.076)
Yeah. You got to, we're to send you to learn and they speak and everything is spoken in code. And you were going to send you to the bakery. He's like, what the fuck is that? And then, but then the bakery is where you go. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
Luciano (01:00:36.088)
Why the bakery of all things?
Matt (01:00:46.598)
Great. Yeah.
Matt (01:00:56.01)
Why not?
Chris (01:00:58.224)
Okay, fine. And then they do it in their relative cities. This is my pit and Clooney impression. Yes, they are. You asked how does one become? Yes, right. You're asking how one becomes a wolf. So they send them on a variety of journeys. And I guess, like, I'll go in the opposite direction. You said, you said there is a wolf man who acts as a master splinter. I say that there's there that they're parallel warring almost rolio capulet factions.
Luciano (01:01:02.616)
Are you understanding this? No, I'm not. Let him cook. Okay.
Chris (01:01:27.604)
that create one fixer every 20 years.
Luciano (01:01:31.02)
Is this like a Cobra Kai Mr. Miyagi thing? Okay.
Chris (01:01:34.866)
Yeah. And neither side, the heads are aware of the existence of the other, but not the soldiers, not the fixers. And they each have their own style, like jets and sharks, okay? But they don't know each other exists until it's too way late. Until it's too late, baby.
Luciano (01:01:48.728)
So they can't westside story each other? that what you're saying? They don't know it exists so they can't dance fight.
Chris (01:01:56.948)
Or dance like they're trained so poorly that they did they can't help but get them so they forget intelligence when they get swept up into a dance circle That's the that's the flaw
Luciano (01:02:08.332)
Well, clearly we saw that happen in the movie, so you're onto something.
Chris (01:02:14.556)
You know, and then it's all and it's all culminated your coronation or rather your the culmination of your graduation takes place at the anticipation of when you need to kill, you need to kill somebody during the last arc of your internship, which is probably the CFO.
Luciano (01:02:28.837)
I thought the culmination was when you go to a diner with your fellow wolf and get shot in the face by other fixers.
Chris (01:02:38.868)
That is also possible, but I prefer to think that everyone all wants a piece of the order of three chicken wings with the fried rice and then just get to eating real quietly or shwarma and eat real quietly and then they all go about their separate ways, knock knock, and then they all go, they all scatter.
Luciano (01:02:40.353)
You
Luciano (01:02:54.956)
So this has been a fever dream the last 10 minutes. I don't know what's happening.
Matt (01:02:59.498)
I was just curious if Chris has been to a diner before because generally they don't serve any of that food there.
Luciano (01:03:01.848)
Yeah, I was gonna say I go I go into a diner and I order like some sushi. Yeah.
Chris (01:03:04.948)
wasn't saving it for the diner.
Matt (01:03:10.4)
Sushi. Delicious.
Chris (01:03:12.077)
I imagine it could be in any restaurant, a diner could be one such place.
Luciano (01:03:14.622)
It's the traditional Japanese diner.
Chris (01:03:20.788)
Actually that sounds like a business venture we should all chip in on guys.
Matt (01:03:23.37)
I think I meant those. Anyway, listen to this. Don't steal it. We thought it was first. If anybody opens the Japanese diner after when you listen to this, which is what? Like November 11th. Don't guilty. Guilty. Yeah. Careful, careful. Guilty.
Chris (01:03:26.918)
Nah, the Japanese diner.
Chris (01:03:33.876)
Don't tell him, don't tell him, damn. Guilty. See, I fucked with this, but the best name for that business would be Domo Dojo.
Luciano (01:03:37.62)
Okay, gavel gavel.
Luciano (01:03:46.57)
No, you fucked it up. You fucked it up.
Matt (01:03:46.676)
Sure, I'm not gonna wade into that.
Chris (01:03:48.55)
No, you fucked it up. You're supposed to help me. Help me. No, no.
Luciano (01:03:51.324)
No, yeah, I'm helping you so, you know, I know we do a lot of We do a lot of yes and in this show sometimes it has to be no what the fuck and I'm doing that
Matt (01:03:52.53)
No, no, I'm helping you get off this topic.
Matt (01:04:01.09)
No, it's just, yes, and I'd like to ask you a different question entirely. What, what was the job in Goenus? Goanus? Goenus?
Chris (01:04:01.382)
Listen, I planned. Yeah, yeah,
Luciano (01:04:04.234)
You're Nice.
Chris (01:04:12.476)
It sounds like guana.
Luciano (01:04:12.522)
It has to be Goanus. You know it has to be Goanus. Goanus! Goanus! It's your party!
Matt (01:04:16.854)
Go Wayne us. Go Wayne us.
Chris (01:04:21.812)
But now I feel bad for Sir Gwain, King Arthur, one of King Arthur's knights. If he... What the fuck? baby oil. Yeah.
Matt (01:04:25.28)
He knows what he did.
Luciano (01:04:29.385)
What happened in Gowanus?
Matt (01:04:30.722)
Did he?
Chris (01:04:31.971)
WHAAAT
Luciano (01:04:33.13)
Some shit let me tell you, some shit happened. They did say Goanis was a shit show which I just now realize is the dumbest fucking pun I've ever heard in my life. What they touched Goanis's?
Matt (01:04:39.446)
He did.
Chris (01:04:39.477)
What? That's the bro humor. shit, they touched.
Matt (01:04:50.8)
Sorry, I guess it was like this. I bet. I don't think it used to make that sound.
Luciano (01:04:50.944)
Yeah!
Chris (01:04:54.578)
Don't do that sound! Don't do it! No, that one's fine. Just don't do the other. That's... I grew up with that one, the second one, but the first one was just not called for. It was like... It's just... No! That's the right sound! And it's the wrong one.
Luciano (01:04:55.774)
No.
Matt (01:04:58.452)
No, that's, that's so.
Luciano (01:05:05.026)
Ha ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:05:08.928)
That's the right, how would you know it's the right song? I don't want to know how you know that's the right song. Okay. So what happened there?
Chris (01:05:12.112)
It makes too much sense! Stop it! It's like the stuff you get when you get two empty toilet cardboard rolls and you just go poink poink!
Matt (01:05:21.846)
Anyways, we're doing a podcast. Lucy, don't know you want to.
Luciano (01:05:22.868)
Yeah, you're, you're dwelling so much on this. What happened there? I think what happened was, so there was this litter of wolves that they found in Goenus.
Chris (01:05:26.916)
You sir,
Matt (01:05:27.009)
I just-
Matt (01:05:38.497)
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so we're answering what happened to go in is that's not how you become a wolf.
Luciano (01:05:46.64)
No, yeah. Well, let me cook. I don't know. I don't know where this is going to go. So they. And there was a misunderstanding because, you know, one of the guys says there was a bunch of wolves and they were like, they can't be together. Wolves are lone wolves. They cannot be together. they sent. Yeah, buddies. They all had all the wolves had like little guns that were exactly the same as each other's.
Matt (01:05:49.196)
You know what, that's fair. I don't know, no one does.
Chris (01:05:52.34)
HASSAN!
Matt (01:06:05.99)
BUDDIES!
Chris (01:06:10.982)
that was hard.
Luciano (01:06:16.372)
And then they send Clooney to clean the wolves up. Yeah, the wolflings, yes. Like famously how you call, you know, baby wolves is wolflings. Everyone knows this. It's not not wolflings. Yeah. And so it was all really a misunderstanding.
Matt (01:06:17.27)
Like which wall is the little walls?
Chris (01:06:21.204)
the warlings.
Yeah
Chris (01:06:30.812)
Yes. Teen Wolf.
Matt (01:06:31.862)
mean, yeah, obviously. There you go. Point proven. Good job, Chris.
Chris (01:06:36.862)
Three, two,
Luciano (01:06:43.172)
These were like the children of the wolf guru from the mountain Which are actually just clones of the wolf guru from the mountain because he reproduces by mitosis he splits himself in two and becomes two as Yeah, wait, what? that doctor. I was like what doctor what doctor do you go to?
Chris (01:06:47.304)
Hey!
Chris (01:06:54.995)
Matt (01:06:56.171)
as one does.
Chris (01:06:57.47)
Just like the doctor.
One time.
Matt (01:07:03.244)
Don't. Yes.
Luciano (01:07:06.828)
But yeah, so that's what happened there. He went in and the reason why he's being cleaned for it is because he refused. He's a cleaner, but he's not a serial killer. So he refused to kill puppies. So he was like, no, I'm not going to clean anything up. And the wolf got taken to Bronx, which is where Brad Pitt got in. So that's what happened. They wanted him to kill puppies is what I'm saying.
See, Bruce doesn't like it.
Chris (01:07:35.678)
No, somebody don't like that. Somebody don't like that.
Matt (01:07:38.306)
first doesn't care for your antics sir. Chris, can you explain to me what happened with the explosion at the evidence warehouse in the Bronx?
Chris (01:07:48.305)
Yeah.
So there was an on-leave Marine who was riding his bicycle through the city one day and he was heading to the bakery because he heard of some epic... What the... He heard of some epicness that was taking place. There was a rap cipher, you see, and only one could survive because they must battle to the last, okay?
Luciano (01:07:57.939)
my lord.
Luciano (01:08:02.827)
God.
Matt (01:08:11.249)
I'm just, it's fine.
Chris (01:08:19.08)
You had, had, you had MC Connery and you had MC Kurg. And so what happened with that, that Marine, he was carrying some money to also bail out his ailing cousin from the drug rings of cinnamon buns, right? It's layered on top of layer.
Luciano (01:08:32.791)
Mike.
Luciano (01:08:38.91)
You had, you had Lagrange right there, you could have the drug ring of Lagrange right there. You looked it in the face and you said, no, not today Satan, and you turned around.
Matt (01:08:46.568)
I have no notes. It's perfect.
Chris (01:08:46.662)
Well, w- See?
Chris (01:08:52.401)
No, I chose, that's right, I rebuke you, Satan. I chose violence of holiness in the donut so I could just eat that and it would be great.
Luciano (01:08:56.053)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:09:01.346)
Was MC Ramirez still played by Sean Connery in this?
Chris (01:09:06.644)
they couldn't afford him. He's not with us anymore.
Luciano (01:09:10.856)
he can be in Grumpy Old Men with Walter Matao and Jack Lamond.
Chris (01:09:15.802)
Yes, yes, I've decided to accept your cinnamon bunge. And I raise you hot cross bunge.
Luciano (01:09:22.232)
I'm an Egyptian rapper called Juan Ramirez.
Chris (01:09:26.94)
Yes. See? See?
Matt (01:09:30.21)
As the surrogate for the audience, what the fuck is going on?
Chris (01:09:36.084)
You gotta catch up, you gotta catch up.
Luciano (01:09:37.482)
Yeah, no, we're just trying to give the audience a feel for what it felt like watching the movie.
Matt (01:09:39.894)
I'm going to catch up by we're going to jump questions.
Matt (01:09:45.474)
They they watched it. It's fine. They know a palette cleansing this They should have at least at two times speed or lower the kid The kid lies. I don't believe you the kid is extremely good at parkour
Luciano (01:09:47.808)
Hahaha
Chris (01:09:48.307)
Did they?
Chris (01:09:54.088)
Watch that What X with my wife. Yes, the kid.
Luciano (01:09:58.904)
You
Chris (01:10:00.616)
Let call her.
Luciano (01:10:03.994)
Yeah, why?
Matt (01:10:05.484)
How? Why? What? When? Why? Let's go with why. Why is the kid so good at parkour?
Chris (01:10:09.123)
I got the answer.
Because he's the third wolf.
Luciano (01:10:15.096)
Chris (01:10:19.508)
The wolfling has grown into his growing into his alpha face. And so he's scoping them. He's playing dumb just to get close to see how these two motherfuckers really get down. He's like, y'all are partners. You do the same thing.
Luciano (01:10:21.058)
You
Matt (01:10:33.192)
If Incell Spencer was here, he would ask if Brad Pitt and George Clooney are beta cucks in comparison to the alpha wolf kid. Is that accurate or am I just projecting on Spencer's behalf?
Chris (01:10:46.694)
You, honestly, it sounds right to me. The character, no, no, no, not by right. No, your assessment of what if Spencer was here is in-cell Spencer character. That sounds like, that's a check mark, it sounds right.
Matt (01:10:50.082)
It's so Chris, where'd you come from off the top rope?
Luciano (01:10:50.32)
no. no!
no.
Matt (01:11:03.212)
Yeah, okay, great. Yeah.
Luciano (01:11:04.408)
What's what is the next thing that in cell Chris is going to say that you know, the kid is a high quality male. Is that what you're going to say?
Matt (01:11:12.402)
Yeah, I heard him say it. He just said it right now. I can't believe you did that, Intel Chris.
Chris (01:11:12.775)
No!
Luciano (01:11:14.946)
Jesus. I cannot believe this is happening.
Chris (01:11:15.45)
I didn't say shit. I said, and I can't believe it's not butter. Lactansia.
Matt (01:11:22.316)
gavel gavel incel chris gavel gavel
Luciano (01:11:23.552)
HAHAHAHA
Chris (01:11:25.544)
See, this is what you do. This is what you do. You plant the seed. Plant the seed, son.
Luciano (01:11:30.464)
The seat of what? Of being an in-cell? I don't want it.
Chris (01:11:33.636)
No, the seed of gavel! Callback humor! See? It's accepted. Fire away. Yes. I know.
Matt (01:11:35.858)
It's fine. Chris, I have a different question for you. You know, you know,
Chris (01:11:46.708)
Let's cook. Yes. Is this the question?
Matt (01:11:46.752)
Wolves, wolves, wolf, wolf, wolf singular. Yeah, this is the question.
Luciano (01:11:51.776)
What is the plural of wolf?
Chris (01:11:54.418)
That's not the question, I was waiting for the question. I know it was not that question.
Matt (01:11:58.386)
Wolf. People can be him.
I think... Hey man, let me ask the question. I think that there are other people that could have been wolf? Wolf in this movie? Wolves? Wolves? Wolves? Wolves-ties?
Chris (01:12:15.956)
Wolf blitzer. What's happening? He's... Wolf? no. This is what happened.
Luciano (01:12:16.225)
no. no.
Matt's English Matt's English is unraveling like the plot in this movie
Matt (01:12:27.34)
There are people that could have been Wolfsies in this movie.
Chris (01:12:30.868)
No, no, that's not the right phrasing. again, Try again.
Luciano (01:12:30.907)
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Matt (01:12:36.352)
fine now we're moving faster Chris Chris what if Steve Zizu was taking out the submarine and it was a clean air in New York City how do think he would have handled you know basically where they dropped off the kid to do the drug deal and like everything that stems out of that
Chris (01:12:41.748)
okay.
Chris (01:12:56.148)
How would Steve Zissou as a cleaner have executed that scenario? First of all, they would have ditched that car a long time ago and he would have picked up a yellow cab because no one pays attention to the taxi driver. And so he's fascinated with fish for some reason and no one understands why. And so he lets the kid run off. And since this is just Steve Zissou, right? It's just him.
Matt (01:13:23.104)
Right. As a wolf's eyes.
Chris (01:13:26.394)
I am not, I am not dipping my toe into the pool. That was that. He's in the cab by himself. He's observing, but then he hears something and then he starts looking around. in his rear view mirror, he sees someone poorly execute the headlights off. It's like, shit, I'm supposed to cut the lights sooner. And then he's like, huh. And then like the camera goes back to the people following, you know?
Matt (01:13:53.579)
Riveting shit.
Chris (01:13:55.976)
back to the other, the following, the Croatians, and then it's like, those were, they were buddies. They were buddies, yeah, they were buddies. They were buddies, and then the car blows up.
Matt (01:14:05.11)
They were buddies!
Chris (01:14:06.74)
As they blow up and we got a we got a bird's-eye view of the same guy do it that as he's incinerated. Hmm. I thought was trapped
Matt (01:14:15.35)
Great, now love that. You're done? You're done, you sound like done. Luciano, other people can be wolfsissies. And so I want to know how Castor Troy would have handled from when the kid wakes up and gets out of the car.
Chris (01:14:19.464)
Yeah, I did it. my god, my agency.
Luciano (01:14:26.497)
I allegedly?
Chris (01:14:33.716)
Choooo
Luciano (01:14:34.229)
Okay
in the trunk. Okay, so if Castor Troy was one of the cleaners, he was the only cleaner and the kid wakes up from the trunk and runs away that part. So that would be probably one of the quickest scenes in the history of cinema because he would go, the kid is going away. We put a pull a gun, shoot the kid in the leg, not in the back in the leg so that he falls down and he would proceed to
Chris (01:14:39.444)
Mmm.
Matt (01:14:49.28)
Right, yep.
Chris (01:14:56.5)
Mmm.
Chris (01:15:01.588)
Huh.
Luciano (01:15:05.836)
beat the living crap out of that kid while he dances to a song playing only in his head, which is that Hayden thing that plays in the beginning of Face Off. And right before he finishes the kid up and kills him for good, he would do two very different things. The first one is he would cut the kid's face off because he never knew he needed a new one. But he would also feel his peaches like he does with that girl as well.
Chris (01:15:24.692)
Holy shit, this is elaborate.
Matt (01:15:35.554)
I just, can't.
Chris (01:15:36.222)
The birth of InSale sensor has arrived. InSale sensor sealed. You heard that? You
Luciano (01:15:36.61)
and
Incel sensor? Is an incel person who's also a
Matt (01:15:42.036)
Intel sensor. Yeah, yeah, we're recording. We heard that.
Chris (01:15:47.559)
boy, in 4K! Think about that.
Luciano (01:15:48.768)
I'm just like, okay, now in my head I'm like, okay, I'm an incel and even this is too much. You people need to stop.
Chris (01:15:56.338)
Why would you say that about yourself?
Matt (01:15:58.59)
In-cell sensor, don't do that to yourself.
Luciano (01:15:59.572)
Yeah, don't do that to yourself. Yeah, so Caster Try would mutilate and end or fondle the kid. That's what he would do.
Chris (01:16:01.188)
don't don't speak freely. Don't do it.
Matt (01:16:10.588)
That's that's why he wasn't on to in this movie clearly
Luciano (01:16:15.051)
Just as a side note, I would have liked to have seen one of those characters be played by Nicolas Cage. Just not Castor Try, just Nicolas Cage being a cleaner.
Matt (01:16:20.534)
both one up both yeah that's fine
Chris (01:16:23.368)
You never see the two of them together, the combination of the three together, only pit, Clooney. You never see pit, cage, Clooney, cage, it's different lanes.
Luciano (01:16:31.311)
man, pit, Clooney and cage, imagine that, three cleaners. That would have been amazing and or insane.
Matt (01:16:40.77)
Speaking of amazing and or insane, what did the Wolf's Isis say to the kids dead?
Chris (01:16:43.102)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:16:46.817)
no.
All right, go ahead.
Chris (01:16:50.708)
I'll take this one. Yeah. You love your son. I see you have a nice home. With all these wonderful memorabilia. You know, it would be a shame. I can see him in my mind's eye, you know, metaphysically. It would be a shame if you were to lose all this, see, that's right.
Matt (01:16:58.914)
It's alright.
Luciano (01:17:01.56)
That's not how Richard Kine sounds at all.
Matt (01:17:02.7)
That's not Richard Cahn, I'm sorry.
Chris (01:17:17.972)
It'd be a shame for all these Sinatra collectibles to meet an untimely disappearing act doused with fire. Do you know what flesh looks like in fire?
You know, it's not fun.
and then they both got up and they slowly backed away. It was just with the death stare. The same death stare that you saw Denzel Washington in the first Equalizer, if he's in the restaurant, it's like, what do you see when you look at me? The father is terrified. See, well, wait, what? Yes. Yes. No, I got it. In the end. End scene.
Luciano (01:17:55.714)
Ha ha ha, my man. Yeah.
Wrong movie, but it still ends up.
Matt (01:18:12.47)
Nope. Luciano. Do you want to anything?
Luciano (01:18:12.864)
Nope. Yeah, I think they took a completely different tack. They basically said, so listen, you have seen our faces, you're not supposed to see our faces. Your son has seen our faces, you're not supposed to see our faces. So here's the deal. If you tell a soul about any of what happened here, about knowing us, about...
having seen us, having seen us together even worse, we will make sure that your kid is never ever accepted at a college again and he will be home 24 seven. He will be drinking from your Sinatra mugs, he will be using your Sinatra bathroom, he will be on in your face and in your house 24 seven.
Chris (01:18:58.036)
and on the computer spending all your internet.
Luciano (01:18:58.324)
And the father was so terrified that that annoying fucking kid would be there all the time that he promised he would never say a word. That's what happened.
Chris (01:19:07.462)
And they told him that if he did, we'd still come back and kill you when it's all over.
Luciano (01:19:12.298)
No, they didn't do that at all. They just threatened him with, son. No, they just said, your son will be here forever. I don't want them. Stuff them in your cheeks.
Chris (01:19:15.54)
So, and to try to give you some cookies. Why would you accept these cookies? I baked them for you. You should, we don't want the cookie.
Matt (01:19:29.154)
Chris? Chris? Haven't you learned anything about this movie that's called Wolves? Wolves? Wolf?
Chris (01:19:34.132)
man. So it's still... They ruined the movie for us? my god. They told us what the movie was before we even walked in.
Luciano (01:19:37.624)
You're very close to an aneurysm, I have to say.
Matt (01:19:46.902)
Yeah, Lucien doesn't need your assistance. He is his own same, similar lone wolf like you are.
Luciano (01:19:49.642)
I
Chris (01:19:52.441)
But he's not cuz there's two more in the chat
Luciano (01:19:56.704)
I don't see him.
Chris (01:19:59.348)
Shit that was cold that was cold. He was talking about you bad the whole time. My god, You still didn't get it. It's okay. Yeah
Luciano (01:20:01.175)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:20:05.912)
I mean, yes, but also no.
Matt (01:20:08.47)
No idea what's happening.
Luciano (01:20:12.201)
Anyway.
Matt (01:20:12.51)
listen, this is probably a good time for us to talk about our ratings for this movie.
Luciano (01:20:19.157)
yeah, we do that. You're right.
Chris (01:20:19.326)
Hmm. From time to time, yes.
Matt (01:20:20.608)
We do that. We do S tier as the top, although Spencer likes to break that rule. That's why we got rid of him. He's has a timeout. It's like a red card. He's got a couple of games off and. Maybe he can come back. Maybe Chris is going to take a day off, too. We don't know. Chris, what is your ranking? For this, I'm just I'm just asking you what your ranking for this movie is. He's got he's got a hydrate. It's a big answer. I like what this is.
Luciano (01:20:28.114)
He knows what he did.
Chris (01:20:32.52)
very very very
Luciano (01:20:39.411)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:20:39.537)
shit, that's gangster! That's code! That's street code!
Luciano (01:20:49.814)
He's shaking now. Yeah.
Matt (01:20:50.284)
You know,
Chris (01:20:55.944)
Lord?
Matt (01:20:59.926)
That's it.
Luciano (01:21:00.559)
Matt is not the only one with an aneurysm.
Chris (01:21:05.478)
I sirens. Anyways, yeah. Answer, yes, you can. I heard sirens. Aside from that, and I don't smell burning toast, so this movie was fun. It was very chill, which is very on brand for Clooney Pit. Clooney, if you are into that type of catfishing. Should you watch it? Yeah. If you've listened to our entire...
Luciano (01:21:08.047)
Can we hear your review, please? Thank you.
Luciano (01:21:26.936)
You
Chris (01:21:34.47)
Episode here. I don't know what's left for you. So maybe you shouldn't Actually, I don't think you should if you've listened to this you've gotten everything you needed So based on that if you've listened to this episode from beginning to this point
Luciano (01:21:51.49)
D. Okay. One day I will understand how you do. Today is not that day.
Chris (01:21:54.578)
I yield my gavel.
Matt (01:21:59.522)
It's not worth your time. Don't bother.
Chris (01:22:01.844)
We gotta keep it moving, man. We got chicken and waffles waiting for us upstairs.
Matt (01:22:05.627)
Apparently we do a Luciano, you know what to do
Luciano (01:22:08.93)
So here's the thing, I'm gonna start my review about the same way that Chris did. This was a fun movie. You you go in knowing to expect, you know what you're gonna get in terms of onscreen chemistry and acting when you see that it's a movie that is being spearheaded by both of those guys, right?
Matt (01:22:14.057)
Okay.
Chris (01:22:14.34)
my God. Uh-huh. It's happening. It's happening.
Chris (01:22:33.523)
acted.
Luciano (01:22:35.888)
I had fun like yeah, the plot is thin and yes, they could have not done the exposition thing at the end, blah blah blah. But the movie is, it delivers at least to me what I was expecting is, you know, some action, some comedy, you know, a little bit of a mystery that could have been better handled. But overall, I actually would watch this again. Not too many times, maybe, but like it's just the...
Chris (01:23:01.211)
Not too many!
Luciano (01:23:02.806)
Well, no, like this isn't like Empire Strikes Back where I would watch it a million times, but I would watch it again. I'm sure there's like moments that I missed. So to me, this is a very solid beat.
Matt (01:23:14.21)
You know you're old and you're running out of time in life and I don't know if you want to your precious waking hours left watching this movie again.
Luciano (01:23:23.096)
I am curating that time very much. So yeah.
Chris (01:23:24.145)
It's like saying...
Listen, it's like saying, do you like pizza? Do you do? Okay. Stick with the breadsticks on this one.
Luciano (01:23:36.944)
I mean, that's fine. You wanted pizza, you grabbed breadsticks, you're not happy, but you're not dissatisfied. And it was a bread thing. So yeah, I don't see the problem.
Chris (01:23:42.686)
You got to eat, you got to eat, but yeah. You're looking way too much on the bright side of things.
Luciano (01:23:50.454)
That's me, always. I had fun with the movie and it was good, that's it.
Matt (01:23:50.594)
I don't like this. Now I don't like where we are at. Now this is a weird, I want to be out of here. Okay, that's fair. Just to make this nice and succinct, I too am going to reiterate all the things you said, insert them here, pause for dramatic effect. And I'm gonna give this movie a C.
Chris (01:23:52.952)
Something's happening mercury's in retrograde or something
Luciano (01:24:06.677)
Hahaha
Chris (01:24:10.319)
inside flow.
Luciano (01:24:10.776)
See. I knew it. Okay.
Matt (01:24:17.058)
It was fun. It was a fun movie, but it just that the ending really pissed me off. It just was so stupid. It was so unnecessary. It so out of left field. It just really irked me and I probably will never watch this movie again because I'm just like, I don't I don't like where I'm going to end up.
Luciano (01:24:31.448)
I know it's at the end of this road and I don't like it.
Matt (01:24:35.468)
I hate it, I hate it. Or maybe I'll just like watch it and as soon as they like talk to the kid's dad, I'll just turn the movie off like it was meant to be turned off.
Chris (01:24:42.77)
You know, it's like, it's like you want.
Luciano (01:24:43.448)
Honestly, that actually might make it better. Just leave it open, right?
Chris (01:24:47.664)
It might, but you don't because there's more and you're watching it forcefully because you have no other choice because it's TBS.
Luciano (01:24:53.27)
What do mean forcefully? Someone fucking... Yeah, I was like, who's clockwork orange-ing you to watch this fucking movie?
Matt (01:24:54.755)
This isn't fucking seven, I can do what I want.
Chris (01:24:57.49)
No, no, I'm saying no.
Matt (01:25:00.8)
Ha ha ha ha.
Chris (01:25:02.28)
That's what this movie is. You go in thinking you're gonna get some melba toast. It's it's melba toast. It's just like this thing. It's just this dog. You take a slice out and then you're like, I'm gonna get to take a bite of this my way. You try it, it breaks before you can even take a bite. Disappointing.
Luciano (01:25:16.855)
I'm just gonna say that this man gave this movie a D but gave Renfield an A so I'm just gonna let it rest. Yeah, I know. Like I said, one day I'll understand how he rates movies.
Matt (01:25:21.878)
Hey, listen, he likes what he likes. It's not, this isn't the parody league. is crazy rankings by some weird dudes. Speaking of crazy, good enough. Speaking of the next episode of, yes, the next episode, we're going to bring back one of the crazy people maybe, but we are going to watch,
Chris (01:25:29.672)
Just listen, you know, Mm-hmm. See?
Luciano (01:25:34.4)
Might as well change the name of the podcast at this point. Crazy ratings by some weird dudes, the podcast.
Chris (01:25:37.203)
What?
Matt (01:25:50.972)
Alien is it aliens or alien? I'm so good alien just so there's not aliens is Romulus how many more
Luciano (01:25:52.984)
Alien Romulus. No, it's just the one. Yeah, we only have the budget for a single xenomorph.
Matt (01:26:01.964)
How many Romuli are showing up in this movie?
Chris (01:26:04.209)
no! my god! my god!
Matt (01:26:08.48)
I think you'll have to tune in and find out how many aliens... The problem is there's gonna be more than one alien... Anyway, I'm fine. Alien Romulus. We're watching it.
Luciano (01:26:17.401)
This might be a record in how we got to be nitpicky with the movie. It's before and like before watching it.
Matt (01:26:24.118)
I'll never let it go. It is the 2024, I don't know, Trevor Nuland vehicle. He plays the xenomorph. That's the star of the show, right?
Luciano (01:26:31.81)
Sure, of course, everyone knows.
Chris (01:26:35.368)
Ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (01:26:35.798)
He plays the xenomorph. Where did I find someone with a tongue that has another mouth in it? That's amazing. Okay. Now I'm, now I'm hyped.
Matt (01:26:40.788)
You know, we'll find out next week. Next week. Alien Romulus.
Luciano (01:26:47.702)
Romulus, king of, tongue of fury.
Matt (01:26:51.062)
Tongue of... Tongue of Fury? No, we're getting out of here. Phrasing is right. Alien Romulus. Watch it.
Chris (01:26:51.574)
my God.
Phrasing, yes.