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Welcome to The Activate Change Podcast, where transformation is just a conversation away. Join Gabrielli LaChiara, renowned healer and creator of the LaChiara Method, as she guides individuals through powerful healing sessions. Alongside her, Chloë Faith Urban breaks down the frameworks and tools Gabrielli uses to bring deeper understanding to the profound process of healing. Each episode offers an intimate front-row seat to authentic, raw, and real personal breakthroughs, spiritual healing, and emotional support, allowing you to see yourself in the journeys of others. Experience the power and magic of the LaChiara Method, learn practical tools for self-growth, and unlock your potential to activate change in your own life. Whether you're seeking healing, inspiration, or a deeper understanding of yourself, this podcast is your gateway to a more rooted, resilient and radiant YOU.
To experience or learn more about the method go to: https://lachiaramethod.com
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Podcast Introduction (01:13)
Welcome to the Activate Change podcast where transformation is just a conversation away. Some episodes of this podcast offer an intimate front row seat to an authentic and unscripted personal healing session with renowned healer and creator of the LaChiara Method, Gabrielli LaChiara. Our incredibly generous and courageous guests explore their genuine struggles, longings and deepest desires in these sessions.
And we as listeners have the honor and privilege to witness their sacred and profound healing journeys. As you listen, we invite you to receive as well, feeling into where the healing and insights that transpire might spark transformation in your own life. And stay tuned until the end because I, Chloe Faith Urban, will discuss the session and share a skill or framework that Gabrielle used, which you can apply to your own personal healing.
And because of the LaChiara Method's deep commitment to collaboration and perpetual learning, some episodes will highlight conversations with other thought leaders, healers, and activists on the path to bring healing, liberation, and true equality to the world. This podcast does contain adult language and content. So if you have little ones around you, you may want to use headphones.
Ep 17 Introduction (02:46)
In this episode, Gabrielli has a session with Angelica, a social justice educator and mother who's struggling to hold the weight of the world. Together, they explore what it takes for Angelica to take care of herself when she's holding so many other people, responsibilities,
and the immense grief that arises when she realizes that no matter how much time or energy she gives to others, it's never going to be enough to address all the suffering in the world. Angelica has had LaChiara Method sessions in the past and is a certified LaChiara Method Radical Life Coach. Let's dive in.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:32)
Hello Angélica, welcome to the podcast.
Angélica (03:35)
Hello Gabrielle, thank you for having me. I feel so honored to be here.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:39)
I'm so happy to be with you and feeling really the privilege and honor it is of mine to journey with you today. I'm feeling an urge to just land us with an invocation and some closing up of the outside world, inside worlds that don't belong in here. And you can be as you wish during that.
Angélica (03:48)
Thank you.
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (04:07)
If it's helpful, those longer exhales and inhales can situate you in present time, like really help your nervous system to find where you are in your own intentions. And it's really not required, but I'll do a few of those with my invocation here. Yeah, Tywin, thank you. Let's invoke that we've created this time, this space, this moment in time for you.
Angélica (04:23)
Awesome. I'm ready.
Gabrielli LaChiara (04:35)
for your body, your being, your soul, your spirit, your divine essence as a human on this earth.
Angélica (04:43)
Thank
Gabrielli LaChiara (04:43)
and that we are entering this space with clear intention to support your own process, your healing and your journey. And that I am completely willing to show up, feel, and see what I have to offer in facilitation of your process or witness.
Angélica (05:02)
.
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:06)
And let's close up any circuits, pull down the window shades, shut the curtains on anything not required or generative for either of us in this space. Unactivate change and generate healing immediately.
Angélica (05:17)
Sigh
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:25)
Hmm. Hmm.
Angélica (05:28)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:30)
I'm curious how I can be with you today. How can I help?
Angélica (05:32)
you
Mmm.
That was helpful just to land and I love the visual of the closing the shades. I'm a visual person so when you said it, actually really helped. The really closed circuits of everything.
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:54)
Right?
I know that feeling too, we can really see it. It's like, right, we can just tuck it in for the moment.
Angélica (06:04)
Yeah, I almost stood up and closed my shades in my room. was like, it's already closed. And yes, you're talking about my circuits. That's right.
Gabrielli LaChiara (06:08)
Uh-huh, uh-huh, great.
Angélica (06:15)
Well, I...
I'm just feeling.
I think I would like to.
have some support around the capacity to hold everything that I am called to hold, you know, my family. I know that's my calling to be.
the mom that I am at the highest possible level to be present, to be loving, to be supportive. I know whenever possible, right, that's calling for myself as well. But as a mother, it's always my intention to be there as much as possible.
and then holding all the responsibilities and expectations and calling in my position at at my job. So, which is a big calling to be there for colleagues, students, for the job that I've been called for to hold spaces around.
Gabrielli LaChiara (07:30)
Mm. Right.
Angélica (07:47)
diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging, justice, and all the things at this present moment and in this time in history, there's a lot going on. And so being present for that calling. And then just the healing of people that I love, people in my circle.
Gabrielli LaChiara (07:52)
Yeah.
Angélica (08:16)
people in my community, in my immediate family, extended family. So that is my, I feel my, my highest calling. And it intersects so much with motherhood, with my advocacy and occupation. So healing really, I think about the healing of our...
and and our spirits and our souls and our minds, my own healing and the healing of the people that I'm connected to. So.
Gabrielli LaChiara (08:54)
Hmm.
Angélica (08:56)
And so I think about that in our work as energy practitioners, as energy healers, as energy beings. How can I be present for my own healing and also for the healing of so many people that I love and adore and admire and care for? So.
Gabrielli LaChiara (09:18)
Right. Right. Right.
Mm.
Angélica (09:26)
So that's not a big thing.
Gabrielli LaChiara (09:30)
It's not a big thing at all. mean, it's so much bigger than big. Yes. I'm deeply, deeply appreciative that you're asking for this. Like, the stir in me as I'm listening, I feel how important it is at this time.
Angélica (09:32)
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:00)
that we include ourselves in healing and as the healers for others. It seems like we can't ignore and neglect the one, the facilitator, the helper, the change agent, the mother, the friend, the ally, the partner, whoever we are, the professional. It's...
Angélica (10:08)
Mm.
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:29)
It feels to me like it's part of healing the schism of othering and the way there's this idea that, we selflessly give to other, but then we hurt ourselves. And to me, that keeps a divide. It dehumanizes ourselves on behalf of other. And I don't know. I'm just feeling deep in my bones that in order for this
Angélica (10:42)
Mm-hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:57)
healing that I imagine on the earth and for the rehumanizing and caring of society and all humans with equity and inclusion, we can no longer leave ourselves out or we're doing the very same thing that we're trying to stop.
Angélica (11:13)
Yes. And that really, really
moved me and that resonated so deeply when you said that because when I it's such a great reminder those moments when I remember that I and my healing comes first it's it's really it just speaks to me so deeply because I know from such a deep place that when I am
Gabrielli LaChiara (11:39)
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (11:48)
willing and able to take that time to really sit with myself, with my own healing. The work that I'm doing in the world and my family and my community is so much more aligned because it's moving through me and not disconnected. You talked about the schism. That makes so much sense.
Gabrielli LaChiara (12:16)
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (12:18)
Because when we're, you know, trying to heal or attempting to heal and hold spaces for healing for others without including ourselves, it's not possible.
Gabrielli LaChiara (12:31)
Right. Right.
Angélica (12:33)
So thank you. Thank you for recognizing that and reminding me as your words just really spoke life about that into me.
Gabrielli LaChiara (12:46)
Yeah, and in one of the frameworks that I'm always teasing apart, and I know that we've spoken about this framework before, is how oppression in society and culture and people, oppression and trauma both have the tendency to create a symptom of either or. And we're looking at the very same symptom of either or when we suggest to ourselves, and I've done it a million times and I still work on it, I will probably work on it.
for my whole life, how to include myself just a tiny bit more. Where am I just abandoning my needs because the needs of others seem so huge and are so huge. They just are. And how to reckon that, and to know my place and how much my giving, what's required, what's not required, what's not even mine to do. So this discernment of how we show up.
Angélica (13:28)
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (13:44)
It requires a bunch of things. You want is the self-attunement, the how do I come back to myself and check in? How do I reset and restore? But it also includes having others, right? Like, cause we need to know and see in our own eyes and our own visions and our own realities that when we are done doing what our work is, somebody else steps in. And that when it's their time to rest, we show up.
Angélica (14:03)
Ugh.
Mmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (14:11)
And if there's enough of us, there's enough time for all of that.
Angélica (14:13)
.
When I think about my work, when I think about revolutionary love, when I think about really filling your own cup, and that's something we talk about, but really, I think about that oxygen mask, and we've talked about that, and really, that inner landscape, that grounding ourselves, that the work and the love exudes from
Gabrielli LaChiara (14:32)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Angélica (14:48)
a deep place also in our resources that surround us but also it comes from within.
Gabrielli LaChiara (14:58)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna jump on this feeling and interrupt your thought just a second to grab it while it's here because I wanna make sure we attend to it. If that's okay, can I? Yeah. I just heard the truth. A truth or what I usually say is like, I heard something that's true. Cause in this moment, it feels so true. We really can never be enough. We can't.
Angélica (15:03)
Yeah.
Yes.
Thank
Gabrielli LaChiara (15:30)
There's no one human that can ever be enough. And what a reconciliation for someone like you to recognize how much you're capable of and can do personally and professionally, how powerful you are and how much power you have earned really in your work and in your positions in life. And to reckon with the fact that no matter how well we do it,
Angélica (15:32)
Mm. Mm.
Hmm
Gabrielli LaChiara (15:57)
No matter how much we say yes and show up, we will never as a one person be enough.
Angélica (16:01)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (16:04)
And there's a grief that's just real and a vulnerability in being a healer on this earth.
That's true, we can't do it. We can never be enough.
Angélica (16:15)
you
Wow.
that really is moving and to hear it.
I know there's truth in that. It's like, yes, of course we can't because we're our, that's something I'm, you know, realizing that my spirit says yes to everything because my spirit is like, yes, I want to show up for my healing, everyone's healing. And then I think the grief and the realization that my body can only do so much. And it's like, sometimes
Gabrielli LaChiara (16:45)
because we're finite.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Angélica (17:10)
you know, myself and say, you know, like, if you don't sleep, you can actually show up for this mission that you're being called for. it's like, wait, can't not sleep though. I need to rest and restore. And this is the perfect timing that this is coming up because. Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (17:20)
Right? Yeah.
Right, because we're earth bodies, we're earth bodies and what we are also immense spirits and you know this so deep in your soul, you know the realm of spirit and energy and beingness and divinity and like the essence of you is always more than enough, always. There's nothing about that that is finite in our beingness, right? The energy of who we are can emanate and exist long before and after us and forever, eternally.
Angélica (17:35)
Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (17:57)
And yet the work is to understand the body, the earth, the human, and to merge those together and to be respectful of the limitations of a physical form so that we have as much time as possible, as healthy as possible on earth to give the spirit in. And you're delivering spirit. You are delivering spirit forces. You're delivering consciousness.
Angélica (18:08)
and
Thank you.
Gabrielli LaChiara (18:26)
Love is consciousness. It's like faith. It's forever. And I know and I feel and I know this in me. It's like we're here to distill that and deliver it and give it evidence in human that it exists. And so yes, of course we don't want to sleep. I know that feeling. I'm like, okay, I just want to keep going. How can I say no? How can I say no if it feels this important? Yeah.
Angélica (18:40)
Yes.
Hmm.
Mmm.
I'd love to, you said something about the grief and I'd love to be, just sit with that because I think when you said it, it just allowed, just even you saying the word, it just allowed me to feel because I think that's something that I don't always allow myself to do is just to feel the grief of something, of everything, you the grief of maybe my, you know, children growing up.
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:00)
Thank you.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Angélica (19:24)
the grief of not being able to say yes to everything that I want to say yes to. Yes. Yeah. The grief of being away from my family. Most of my family is in California and I'm here on the East Coast. so I'm thinking about the important work I'm doing here. I'm thinking like, how important is it? Do I need to be with my mom who's aging?
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:29)
Right in our limitations, our finiteness. Yeah, please, please.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (19:54)
you know, and I want to be there. There's just so much grief. I just sometimes it's like, I don't have time to feel it all because I have work to do. And I know that that's resonates with a lot of my clients, the people that are doing this healing work. It's so important for us to feel, you know, the grief in every moment of the things that we're experiencing. But
Gabrielli LaChiara (20:02)
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (20:23)
And I see it for the people that don't have time. see the way that it's, you know, and in myself, the way that it affects me when I don't take the time to grieve, to cry, to feel. And so I just wanted to sit with that. When you said it, it just was, I felt like it was powerful to name.
Gabrielli LaChiara (20:40)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, thank you.
Go ahead and breathe that all the way in. Bring that beautiful attention of your own mind's eye into the wisdom of your body. And let's exhale into the grief. Never being enough. Can't do it all. Being on a mission that's so huge, way bigger than us. Having so much to give and so many longings and cravings.
in a finite form.
and just the grief of suffering.
Drop in a little more. I'm seeing a pocket if you could bring your mind's eye possibly down your inside part of your spine as if you could just gently walk down the inner part of the spine and somewhere right behind your belly button. It's like behind your uterus is actually where it feels to me that area.
Angélica (21:50)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (21:58)
See if you can sit often where we, it is where we talk inner landscape, we might start you right there. What is?
the grief in here.
and exhale a nice long, long exhale so that your body knows that it's, you get to rest into this, resting in.
Good. Long and full.
Angélica (22:53)
you
feeling.
The womb.
It's just interesting that you brought me there because even from the beginning of my work with you.
about the healing of
my womb space.
Gabrielli LaChiara (23:40)
Right, creation.
Angélica (23:42)
Peace.
Gabrielli LaChiara (23:44)
Yeah. What does your womb say right now about the grieving, about the being you?
Angélica (24:08)
connection just to
Think my inner child.
Gabrielli LaChiara (24:20)
Hmm.
Angélica (24:24)
Womanhood.
Motherhood.
Gabrielli LaChiara (24:44)
Hmm. I'm seeing faces like every face of who you've been, why you're here. Every face your room says I'm holding all of this. All of these versions of how I love and every one of them is a version of of how you express and lean into love. Wow.
Angélica (24:47)
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (25:16)
how I'm feeling the pain of how tender it is for no matter how much I humanly love and try my best to give it from the most divine places it in of itself won't ever be enough by itself either no matter how grand no matter how beautiful or potent
Angélica (25:32)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (25:44)
Yeah, and it's always more than enough.
and activate change and generate healing immediately. Who are you, who are you grieving?
Angélica (26:01)
Mm-hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (26:09)
Is there a version of you?
Angélica (26:22)
Yeah, what comes to me is my innocence, my childhood, my inner child.
Gabrielli LaChiara (26:30)
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Angélica (26:35)
that
that freedom to be, to speak, to run, to play, be my full authentic self, my...
Gabrielli LaChiara (26:46)
Hmm.
Angélica (26:54)
myself that can laugh and doesn't have any adult responsibilities.
Gabrielli LaChiara (27:03)
Mm-hmm. Love it. Right. And how do we mature that innocence so that we can refine and feel for every moment possible for that level of freedom and release and connection and where in any one moment we could be plenty, more than enough, satisfy that urge for connection and freedom and lightness and
Angélica (27:30)
Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (27:32)
release and still hold the maturity of the bigger picture of the more existential grief of the reality. Can we merge those?
Angélica (27:38)
Hmm.
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (27:49)
that innocence doesn't have to be delusional, right? Or distorted.
Angélica (27:52)
Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (27:58)
but can maintain as an invitation.
Angélica (28:00)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (28:03)
in reality.
and a receptive moment at any given time to receive.
Angélica (28:17)
And I love that knowing that the ability and the permission, I guess, to connect to my innocence, my childhood, my inner child, my...
I feel like the many lifetimes I've lived already.
Gabrielli LaChiara (28:44)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right?
Angélica (28:47)
and the ability to also be who I am in my fullness now, right? I've...
Gabrielli LaChiara (28:48)
Right.
Yeah.
Angélica (28:59)
was sternied and in a place where my wisdom, my learning, my knowing, my knowledge, my connections, my children that I've raised.
Gabrielli LaChiara (29:19)
Right.
Angélica (29:22)
There's a respect for who I am now.
Gabrielli LaChiara (29:27)
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (29:29)
but not losing touch and connection.
with who I am in my soul speak.
Gabrielli LaChiara (29:46)
Let's sit there. Right, let's sit there. What does it take to receive the wholeness, the whole thing? To not just be one part of you at any given moment, which we all do, but in this moment, I feel you resting in and like you get to have it all, Analiqa. All of this is true. The grief, the joy, the innocence, the...
Angélica (29:46)
all the parts of who I am.
Hmm. Hmm.
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (30:13)
different versions of the child, both probably injured and also excelling and like shining and the efforts and the parenting done and that will still be done and all the efforts and education and academics and experiences and love and divinity and essence and truth and agitation and annoyance and
Hopelessness and helplessness and absolute faith. You're every bit of this. You are human and divine and everything in between.
Angélica (30:45)
Bye.
Gabrielli LaChiara (30:54)
and clearing anything that would block you from allowing this moment to integrate all of that again.
and anew.
and activate change and generate healing immediately.
Mm.
Last Week to Register - From Surviving To Thriving Ad (31:13)
I wanted to take a quick minute out of this session and tell you about a course we have coming up. And definitely listen up because it's the last week to register.
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simply use the code bundle at checkout.
For more information on the course, you can go to LaChiaramethod.com/thrive and I will also make sure that link is in the show notes.
We so hope you'll join us. Okay, back to the session.
Angélica (32:57)
This is perfect. This is like perfect timing because I have this... I feel like there's this calling, this... I don't know. I guess the way that the language is coming out is this bigger calling and I...
Gabrielli LaChiara (32:59)
Hahaha!
Angélica (33:18)
I've been.
This is perfect that you are the one here with me right now Gabrielle, in all your knowing and wisdom and power and just divine goddess being because there's this calling for me to be big in the world, like to show up in these big ways and it's really scary because my inner child, my inner child has been wounded.
Gabrielli LaChiara (33:33)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Angélica (33:53)
is really scared and I...
And this is reminding me to just be with her. To just be with her, just sit with her. And to breathe with her.
Gabrielli LaChiara (33:58)
Hmm.
Yeah, shh. She's not wrong to be scared. This is a terrifying place to live sometimes. Maybe somewhere in us all the time. And our inner child children like we, they inside of us deserve airtime and room to kick and scream and freak out and try to stop us from doing things that could hurt them.
Angélica (34:11)
So...
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (34:33)
Yeah.
Angélica (34:36)
I think I just want to name like sexual wounding.
Gabrielli LaChiara (34:37)
Press it.
Hmm.
No.
Angélica (34:48)
I know that.
that affects us as women, as girls, and just naming what's present. you know, we can't help but be connected to these women who are.
Gabrielli LaChiara (34:54)
Yeah.
Angélica (35:09)
You know, we're connected to each other. We are all one. And so when we see these stories and we hear them.
Gabrielli LaChiara (35:13)
Yeah.
Angélica (35:19)
can't just shut our phone. It's just a news article. I feel them.
Gabrielli LaChiara (35:24)
No. Yeah, we feel them. Their imprint lives in us. It lives in us and our imprint in theirs. And the abuse that happens to one does happen to all. We are injured. And yes, there are people way more victimized than just our experience of their victimization, right? But it lives in us and for some of us it is us. And it's real.
Angélica (35:28)
Mmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (35:56)
It's so sad the amount of abuse that women have suffered and the sexual violations and how rampant it is and also all humans have suffered.
Yeah.
Angélica (36:11)
And I think, again, what comes up for me is sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. And I know that I'm doing all that I can and even more than I can at times when my body's like, please rest, please rest.
Gabrielli LaChiara (36:16)
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Right, right.
Right. It's so hard not to like, it's so hard to not want to save and rescue and keep going. It's just so hard. You know, there's your impulse when we allow ourselves to feel what people experience that we're helping. It makes it harder on us to not take care of ourselves, right? Or easier not to take care of ourselves. However, I might say that it's tricky because we feel it and then it becomes part of us.
And so we urge, we earn, we crave to heal it. And yet that split second of choice to feel and allow yourself to be permeated in the vulnerability of others pain and to not off-gaz it with an urge to go fix it or keep running or keep doing or keep going, but to actually stop and feel it is the
deepest humanization of lives we can do. It is such respect.
Angélica (37:30)
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (37:35)
It is the respect for self and other.
And to know that it's part of the mission to feel first, pause, and to not just chase answers and solutions and giving, but to pause first so that where we give from can be the most effective giving possible.
Angélica (37:54)
Ugh.
So glad we're recording this so can play it for myself and remember.
Gabrielli LaChiara (38:08)
Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's uncomfortable. It's an immense privilege to know that we are not suffering and someone else is, and to know that we have more resource, more health, more vitality than the person we're helping, which sometimes we do, right? And to feel somehow so guilty and so tortured to not just give it all to them, because how dare they be this injured and not receive everything and more times a million?
Angélica (38:19)
the field.
Hmm.
Hmm
Gabrielli LaChiara (38:44)
Why wouldn't we give our bodies and souls to that? Of course we want to.
Angélica (38:46)
Hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (38:50)
Of course we want to, and yet if we abuse ourselves on behalf of their healing, and I started here, right? I can only imagine, I don't really know, right? But this is what I sense. If we keep abusing ourselves on behalf of others' healings, then we're injured, and they live with our injury. Because now we've hurt ourselves to help them. And if we do that to a big enough degree, I think it blocks all the healing.
from its effectiveness. not that there aren't moments. There have been moments in my life it was my job to give more than I had. And I did and it was right. I didn't have it and I did it anyway. that's, those are different moments than living a pervasive sense of over giving, over doing. Right? That's a different moment. We want to save when it's time to save. And we want the resource in us to be there.
Angélica (39:19)
Ugh.
Yes. Yes.
Thanks.
Gabrielli LaChiara (39:48)
so that when we need it, we've got it.
Angélica (39:55)
Ugh.
Gabrielli LaChiara (39:57)
And it's more painful to stop and feel than it is to burn ourselves out. It's freaking more painful in the moment. Maybe not more painful in the bigger picture, but it's definitely more painful in the moment to stop ourselves and just say, whoa, this is more than I have to give to and someone will keep suffering.
Angélica (40:01)
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:16)
And I have to let go on behalf of integrity and health and on behalf of knowing that I need more, need resource to keep giving.
Angélica (40:23)
well.
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:29)
and to not kill myself, knock myself off the planet, injure myself. Yeah, huge. It's hard to do.
Angélica (40:30)
This is a huge awakening.
It's a huge awakening and also a huge practice.
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:40)
It's a practice. Exactly. Yeah, talk.
Angélica (40:42)
Ugh.
When you said to feel, it seems so simple, but it's so...
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:48)
It's not simple. It's so painful. We can be up. I've had myself up till four in the morning trying not to feel, honestly, like laying there, trying not to just fall apart into the abyss of pain and spinning in anxiety instead or worry or needless thinking, you know, until I could finally find the like, okay, all I really need to do is stop and let this move through me and let my nervous system receive that I'm...
Angélica (41:16)
Ugh.
Gabrielli LaChiara (41:17)
I'm so sad at the suffering. I'm just so sad that it's real, that it hurts that much, that my beloved people who I fall in love with, every client, you know, like every person I know, I'm like, how, why? I don't want you to suffer.
Angélica (41:25)
Mm. Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (41:35)
Wow.
Angélica (41:40)
I think the reason I've been putting off this podcast or this recording or this session with you is because I knew that you were going to have me just feel what I didn't want to feel. As a matter of fact, this morning I was like, I need to just call Gabriella. I actually didn't sleep well. I think I'm going to put this off another day.
Gabrielli LaChiara (41:41)
Thanks.
You
That's so funny because I had a moment of thinking, should I text on Helika and let her know she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want? I'm like, what am I doing? Like, what am I doing? And she'll let me know. They'll let me know. They'll let me know. my goodness. thank you for, just I feel so, I feel like I really just cherish you. really just so deeply honor everything about you.
Angélica (42:17)
And this is...
Yeah.
You
This is such hard work. This is such hard work as an empath, as someone who feels so deeply for people. It's like, it's so painful. And at the same time, just like what you said, is if I can't feel in the name of helping or healing that I'm actually abusing myself and I'm hurting myself and I'm not taking care of myself, then it's in vain.
Gabrielli LaChiara (42:35)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And those other people may never consciously know you did that, but there's so much guilt on every side of this dance. And that guilt is like an indoctrination we walk around with. There's so much guilt for the people who need and who are taking from us. And then if we go hurt ourselves, whether they know it or not, they know it somewhere inside and then they have guilt. And then we have guilt because we can't give enough. And it's like this trap that blocks us from just the beingness.
of human.
Angélica (43:26)
Ugh.
Gabrielli LaChiara (43:28)
and the combining of our souls and spirits and bodies.
Angélica (43:30)
Ugh.
Gabrielli LaChiara (43:34)
And the willingness to know it's an endless dance that, that I just so have a vision. just, I everyone who helps others to have an opportunity to know what it feels like to do that and be well and to reach in and hold each other's hands and to have the support we need to be able to like decompress this and have, sometimes we can't feel it by ourselves. It's just too much. And we need another.
Angélica (43:45)
Okay.
Okay.
Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (44:02)
to hold it with us so it feels safer to let go, right? I can't always get to it by myself. Sometimes I need the space and attention and care to know I won't get lost, right?
Angélica (44:05)
Yeah.
Ha!
Yes. Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (44:17)
Yeah. And so when we, I'm inclined to do the activate healer, release victim and release what's not yours, but on behalf of you feeling not on behalf of chasing it away, not to distort this tool when we as empaths release what's not ours, what's not required or generative. is so that we can be in the vulnerable dance of being ourselves and have capacity to listen for the soul speak mission, choices, decisions.
where we discern from, not to just make ourselves feel better by throwing it away, right?
Angélica (44:48)
Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (44:54)
Would that be generative for you if I do that activation?
Angélica (44:59)
Yes, and I can I just hear a quick story before you do that? What came up for me in this story when I realized it, when my mom told this story to me, it was like, wow, it was so illuminating in so many ways. And she said when I was a baby, when I was born, she said that, you know, they used to call me sunshine because I was this.
Gabrielli LaChiara (45:01)
Please, doesn't have to be quick.
Angélica (45:27)
ball of energy, this light. And she said in the neighbors in the Philippines where I was, used to, well this was her words, to fight over me. She said they would wait till I woke up and they said, is she awake? Because we want, can we have her? And so she said that she, she was like, as a baby I never saw you because the neighbors to the right, as soon as you woke up would want you and then the neighbors to the left would say, wait, they had her yesterday, it's our turn. said so.
Gabrielli LaChiara (45:53)
my God, a precious story.
Angélica (45:55)
She said, I would literally pass you around the neighborhood because people wanted you. And she said, and you they would bring you back as you're right. You to be changed or you're hungry. But she said, but that was, you know, what, what happened when you were a baby. And, although it was tickled me in such a deep way, was like, wow. And it touched me and moved me. And what I also, you know, realized from that story brought me a lot of joy to know that as a baby.
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:24)
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (46:24)
I was already an energy healer, right? As I'm coming into my knowing of energy and of healing. But also the part that that sat with me was, you know, even before I can speak and, you know, that I was being kind of expected or like to show up for people, even before myself, right? Like that I was like,
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:27)
Mm-hmm.
Right. Right.
Angélica (46:54)
kind of on, you know, I'm, I'm, and so it, I think there's this deep kind of, like purpose that I feel about that, but also makes it challenging for me sometimes to say no to people when, I'm invited to places too, because I'm like, wait, how can I, you know, like say no when I, I know that memorial service that I can go and, and bring so much light. And then my body's like, no, I need,
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:56)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Angélica (47:24)
I need to stay home and cry and feel. So there's that kind of knowing that it's really challenging for me.
Gabrielli LaChiara (47:28)
Yeah. Yes. Such an important story. It is such an important story. We think that between conception and maybe around nine, we really are operating in our survival brains. That is like where the most orientation of life is coming from is in the survival structure, which means built into your very immediate survival structure was this pattern.
Angélica (47:58)
Thanks
Gabrielli LaChiara (47:58)
that we're looking at today to ask, we do it differently? The pattern to be a helper to others before even knowing yourself. We don't know. Maybe that version of your baby wanted to stay home in your mother's arms. We don't know, right? We don't know what needs got missed because you kept giving out and maybe it was perfect. Maybe it wasn't. Something's in here, right? That now is confusing you in your...
Angélica (48:07)
Mm.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Huh.
Gabrielli LaChiara (48:27)
capacity to, I mean, no wonder you have so much fear about getting bigger. Like if you get bigger and have to do more of this, you will obliterate. It's like, you can't really afford to unconsciously just grow and keep giving. yeah, yeah. so powerful that we are bringing this to consciousness and into the parts of the brain that can begin to negotiate the inner child and the structures that were built
Angélica (48:33)
Yeah.
Yes!
Gabrielli LaChiara (48:57)
immediately into who you are and to ask how to rebuild them. Yeah. To meet now.
Angélica (49:01)
No.
Nice.
I see that showing up in so many ways.
Gabrielli LaChiara (49:12)
Yeah.
This is just huge. So thank you for stopping me from going into the activation because this feels incredible. There's so much healing in what you're and importance for us to just rest here for a minute. When you talk inner child, you talk inner in utero, you talk the second you were born.
Angélica (49:17)
Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (49:43)
So we talk newborn, we're talking infant.
inner inner inner newborn in you.
who is saturated in so much joy and light.
and satisfies the craving of so many people who just want it to be held in that light.
and already sacrificed needs that we can't even understand you might have had.
Angélica (50:10)
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (50:20)
Mm.
Angélica (50:30)
Just feel like that. Yes.
Gabrielli LaChiara (50:30)
So the urge to keep giving will be very primal, maybe forever for you. And to know how to feel that conditioning as conditioning and to be able to say that primal urge may always be here, okay? No matter how big or small I am, it's probably gonna exist in me. And our navigation is to bring that consciousness we can,
Angélica (50:49)
Mmm.
Mmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (50:59)
that like the prefrontal cortex and our pituitary senses and our knowing and that muscle of the rest of us in to reparent this analika today to reform and renegotiate the urge, the urge of self and others to both give and to be taken from is here. People are going to want that from you. okay. Not what.
Angélica (51:04)
Okay.
Hmm.
Thanks
Gabrielli LaChiara (51:28)
What does today look like?
And activate change and generate healing immediately.
for.
Angélica (51:44)
Mmm.
Wow.
Gabrielli LaChiara (51:57)
We're coming into the last minutes of this session, so I wanna take a moment and really feel with you how I can be helpful in holding you as you, and you will continue to integrate, but as you feel this process today.
Angélica (51:57)
Ugh... Ugh...
Ugh.
I'm just feeling such deep gratitude for you, Gabrielli, for this work. This work is so powerful.
Gabrielli LaChiara (52:28)
Thank you.
Angélica (52:33)
and just needed and... ugh.
what I think about.
Healing the healers. I know that's my calling to heal the healers. I, the reason I haven't really, I mean, not that I'm in it, you it's not like I'm not doing the work, but you taught, you know, you spoke to being called to this bigger work and there's so much fear because you spoke on it. Like there's so much fear about like, and I wasn't, didn't.
Gabrielli LaChiara (52:47)
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Angélica (53:13)
wasn't clear what it was, but there's something about being exposed and when you said, yes, it makes so much sense that you were, you were obliterate and it just resonated with me because it's like, that's how it feels.
Gabrielli LaChiara (53:17)
out.
Yeah.
Right, because not only do you just come with all this light that you have now either been indoctrinated and or just soul speak born to give, both are true, right? But you also come with knowing that if you shine that as bright as you can, everybody's going to take as much as they can from you and maybe even want more than you have. And so this patterning in the midst of everything else we talked about and to meet, of course you would be terrified.
We can't afford to obliterate you. We can't. We can't. We don't need to do that to you. You're precious. And this is a deep karmic learning. This is not a happen chance that this is the lesson you're on today and that you will model as you step into your even more expansive healer self, that you'll model for those who need the same teachings and the medicine.
Angélica (53:57)
Yes.
Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (54:26)
and the discernment and the health. We get to be healthy, as healthy as we can be. We might not be perfect, right? We're always a little not healthy, but we get to choose that and believe in that and show up for that. Yeah, your vitality is critical to your mission. And we're gonna invoke and, exactly we're gonna invoke and can't proclaim and pronounce that your body's needs.
Angélica (54:28)
Hmm.
Yes.
It's my birthright.
Gabrielli LaChiara (54:55)
that when you take care of those needs, when you discern and listen, that you are on mission and purpose to give, to heal, and to be present for others. That you are now part of the same story you would tell me to do this. That you're now including yourself in what you want for humanity, which is more health and vitality for all of us. Helpers and healers that can stay in it longer.
Angélica (55:16)
Mm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (55:25)
and not burn out and obliterate ourselves before we even finish our missions.
and not leaving the burden and guilt of those we're helping to take care of us by not taking what they need, by not themselves feeling willing to receive what they're given, that they don't need the guilt of hurting us too, right? Like none of us need this. So let's clear all the grids and constructs that suggest that somehow the guilt and the grief gets to block us from changing the way we show up.
Angélica (55:35)
Ugh.
Good.
Hmm.
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (56:01)
and from including you as the healer of all healers in the center of it all and living that not in some selfish grandiose either or way, but in balance and balance and integrity and restoration and inflow in and out of that balance. We fall on either side. We take too much. give too much. That's okay.
Angélica (56:16)
Yes.
you
Gabrielli LaChiara (56:26)
And we invoke and can't proclaim and pronounce that your primal brain can know that this is the safest way for you to exist and even the safest way to give and for those to receive from you. Unactivate change and generate healing immediately. Activating the divinity in your cells and particles that it does not need to make you delusional just because you have a lot of connection to your spirit.
You can be so plugged in, vibrating, thriving, emanating.
and still receive your care as a body.
and activate change and generate healing.
Wow.
Angélica (57:22)
thank you so much.
Gabrielli LaChiara (57:22)
my goodness, thank you so much.
Well.
Angélica (57:29)
Immense gratitude for you, Graby Early, for infinity healing, for the LaChiara Method. my gosh. Which I am so grateful to have learned. And what a calling today is to practice, to continue to practice this, how important it is in the work that I'm being called to do that this be part of every moment.
Gabrielli LaChiara (57:32)
Hmm.
Mm-hmm. Right?
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Angélica (57:59)
I'm gonna play this podcast for myself every morning before I start my day. It's like, yes!
Gabrielli LaChiara (58:02)
It's perfect. It's so perfect. It's a retrainment. It is. I love it. You can train something new into your system and keep hearing it and keep hearing, talk about parenting yourself with it, right? Mothering yourself like, right. need to hear that voice of wisdom. And as you know, anything we say in here that doesn't resonate later, you just delete that part. You know, this is yours to learn from and listen to and be in.
Angélica (58:16)
Yes!
Gabrielli LaChiara (58:32)
And I trust you so deeply with your mission on every level, just in being you. And I really appreciate and admire you. And wow, thank you for blessing me with your journey. I love you too. Thank you.
Angélica (58:39)
you
I love you so much. Thank you.
Chloë's Commentary On Angélica's Session (58:55)
my goodness, this session has filled my heart to the brim. Thank you dearest Angélica for sharing yourself so openly and fully. Thank you for the amazing work that you do in the world. It's just so freaking important. And thank you for sharing that powerful process and healing journey with us.
I have a feeling that so many of you listening could relate to a lot of that, especially if you work in the social justice sphere, other helping professions, or are a parent or caregiver. I know for myself, it's like some of the most important pieces to look at and how we hold ourselves as we care for others and as we face all the shit that's going on in the world.
There really is just so much suffering in this world and it can be hard to be with and hold the truth of that and allow ourselves to truly feel it. Thank you for feeling it, Angélica. What courage and strength it can take to stop and really allow the grief and emotions to flow.
As I sit with this session, I really feel that it stands for itself. And so I won't say too, too much, but I wanted to speak to how Angelica articulates and even shows us how important it is to stop, pause, reflect and feel, in her case, the grief under the surface. This ability to feel and be witness can often uncover
powerful awarenesses and tender vulnerable realities that we're sitting on. As I was listening, I wrote down some key points that felt really poignant that I thought could be helpful to share. So I'm just going to go through the list here with you for you to reflect, for you to feel into for yourself.
How do you hold boundaries in the midst of it all and how do you discern what’s needed and catch yourself from going into the either/or of abandoning yourself for the mission and/or other people, or abandoning the mission and relationships for yourself. What’s the balance?
We are both a body and a spiritual being and energy can emanate long before and after us
Physical bodies have limitations and can maybe never be “enough” and that’s ok to know
When we have a calling to show up for our mission in the world - the showing up BIG and fully embodied in our essence can be really scary, and can confuse us or drain us if we lose ourselves to that fear
It’s very difficult to love as deeply as one like Angélica does and not flip the switch into wanting to save and rescue people or do so much that we hit serious burnout
Humanizing others includes humanizing ourselves. It’s not healthy or required for us to dehumanize or diminish our own life, life force, or gifts
If we abuse ourselves on behalf of others that can leave unconscious injury just sitting there, waiting to take hold. Most people would not want us to do that to ourselves on behalf of their healing or needs
Sometimes stopping ourselves from burnout feels painful, and exposes the grief we have… feeling that grief can be so important so that it doesn’t drive our life force in ways that are self destructive.
As I read these, just reiterates to me how much depth that session went into. Each one of those nuggets could be literally a whole year or a lifetime of healing and reflection. But I wanted to just bring them to the surface so that you could really feel into them and feel into which ones stir and resonate with you most. And maybe that's a little nugget for you to take home and take some steps in your healing around that right now in your life.
So with that, will let you bask in the magic and power of that session.
Aly Halpert Thank You (1:03:52)
saying a huge thank you to Aly Halpert, the incredible musician and songwriter behind the songs featured in this podcast. We've had the privilege of singing some of Aly's powerful songs during our retreats and workshops, which have been such a meaningful and healing addition to our groups. To hear more of Aly's music and learn more, visit Aly's website at alyhalpert.com. You can find the link in our show notes.