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Good to be back.
So you know how precious this מוסר סדר is to me,
there were two choices of when flights were,
and the only real נפקא מינה was getting back in time for this מוסר
סדר,
and I took the earlier flight to be here for this מוסר סדר.
So בחסדי ה׳,
we're here,
we're learning together בחבורה,
growing in יראת שמים בעזרת ה׳.
So where were we up to?
There are two types of people.
Everyone wants to learn מוסר,
everyone wants to grow in יראת שמים.
Some people are trying their best,
but they just don't really get it,
they don't really understand.
Some people,
they are trying their best,
but they didn't realize how important it is to invest in the understanding of
what יראת שמים is and how to grow.
I'm going from the middle of the long paragraph where we left off.
איך נטהר מחשבותינו אם לא נשתדל לנקותם מן העמומין המטיל בה הטבע הגופני.
The nature of man,
the nature of the body,
the nature of our יצר הרע is that it pulls us down.
If you're not actively working on it,
if it's not an active,
constant growth,
how are we going to purify ourselves?
המדות כולם צריכות כל כך תיקון וישרה.
Character traits are not built straight.
They're not built unstraight either,
but there's pressures.
There's pressures of the society,
there's pressures of the desires of the body,
which aren't negative,
but they're just human.
But if we don't have direction how to use them,
they're going to pull us down.
So how are you expecting yourself to be a ישר individual?
מי יאשרם?
מי יתקנם?
Who's going to do it if not you?
אם לא נשים לב עליהם,
ולא נדקדק בדבר דיקדוק גדול.
It's something you have to be actively,
constantly focusing on in order to be a ישר individual.
אם נעיין על דבר עיון אמיתי,
if we would only look into this matter in an in-depth,
היינו מוצאים אותו על אמיתו,
then we will understand it in its true way.
ומטיבים לעצמנו,
not only will we grow from that,
the learning of מוסר,
and I wouldn't even say just the learning of מוסר,
but the learning of מוסר and applying it back to yourself.
Learning of מוסר by itself is not enough.
The learning of מוסר and the contemplating back in return,
how does that relate to me?
ומטיבים ומלמדים אותו לאחרים,
ומטיבים להם גם כן.
It's not only a benefit for us on a selfish level,
that we're going to be better people,
but on a universal level.
Everyone who meets us are going to be inspired by us,
we'll be able to teach those same ways to other people.
You know,
when you meet someone and you catch up,
so it's always interesting,
like,
what do you catch up about?
You haven't seen someone for a while.
It happened to me today,
yesterday.
I met people I hadn't seen for 25 years,
and it's like interesting,
like,
you see this person,
where are you,
what are you doing?
So what do you say?
What do you say?
Some people,
like it's what do you work as?
That's the news.
That's the news,
you know,
I haven't seen you for 25 years.
So what are you doing for a living?
That's like the first big and main question.
And for some people,
the question,
the big question is,
so what about your family?
Married?
Kids?
Like,
where are you from a family situation?
And it's so interesting,
like to not see someone for such a long time,
and if you give them the chance to speak first,
like,
what are they asking?
What are they interested in?
If I'm going to be defined now in one sentence,
by one question,
what's the defining question?
You haven't seen me for 25 years,
and it's important for you to know where I'm holding.
That's a bit of an awkward question,
right?
Could you imagine a world if it wasn't awkward,
could you imagine a world where someone would say like,
"How's your יראת שמים doing?" Now,
it's personal,
so it's awkward to ask such a question,
yeah?
But could you imagine if that was how a person was being judged?
Or not even judged,
but that's how a person was judging himself?
If that's where a person's growth was?
It's not the growth in money?
I saw someone at הנץ today.
I said,
"How are you doing?" He said,
"I had a very good week." At the beginning I didn't get what he
meant.
So I said,
"A very good week?" He said,
"There's going to be a lot of מעשר כספים." ברוך ה׳,
at least that was where he took it to.
That was his thought,
and he gave me there £20 to give to the גמ״ח,
to give to the גמ״ח of יד יצחק אבי יצחק.
So you had a very good week,
hey,
at least he gave me £20.
You have the charity in the ישיבה here?
Like that was his like,
"Very good week." Someone else's very good week,
someone else was sitting nearby us,
so he said,
so it was me and רב Finkelstein,
this other person,
so I said,
"How are you doing?
What are you doing?" So he said,
"I'm doing well,
we're in the middle of גיטין." This is other person!
Like a בעל הבית,
like I don't know,
like a בעל הבית.
That was his like default!
Like,
where are you holding,
what's going on,
and then him and רב Finkelstein started arguing about a ר״ן!
It was phenomenal!
He said,
"Have you seen this ר״ן?" "No,
I for this..." in the middle,
they took each other's phone numbers,
emails,
they're going to carry on the conversation.
So who are you?
You know,
who are you?
What's really important?
When you're defining yourself,
who are you?
What are you defining yourself by?
If this is a topic which you're not thinking about,
the default will be how rich you are.
That'll be the default,
because that's what the world is talking about.
That's what the world is.
That'll be the default.
Maybe it'll be family,
that'll be also good,
that's also significant in the world,
maybe a close second,
maybe an equal first to wealth,
but that's it.
But what the מסילת ישרים is saying is,
if you're thinking deeply,
and you're thinking like,
"But who am I really?
Like what is my essence?
What am I really?" Then it's going to be תיקון המדות and קירבת ה׳.
And that's going to be the question you you're always asking,
"How am I doing?" It's not going to be the bank statement,
and it's not going to be the,
it's going to,
family also,
that's part of it,
but it's going to be the growth in יראת שמים,
that's going to be.
You'll be judging yourself by...
In the same vein,
I had a I had a friend who was with me in כרם ביבנה,
who I hadn't seen for many,
many years.
And then I traveled somewhere,
and I saw him.
Maybe 10 years I hadn't seen him.
And when he was here in כרם ביבנה,
he had a a way about him which wasn't so good.
It was good in other areas,
but a way about him which was like quite cynical.
It was the way that he thought,
and the way that he spoke,
and that.
And and at this point when I saw him,
he was married,
he had kids,
he was learning and working,
it was like he'd moved on along,
away.
But in his conversation,
he was in exactly the same place.
Still cynical about,
even when he was talking about new topics,
right?
The topics in כרם ביבנה that he was cynical about were certain topics,
'cause that was what his situation was then.
And now his situation had changed.
So he was talking about other things,
talking about his family,
and about his job,
and about his community,
and but the way of speech hadn't changed at all.
So if his if his goal would have been תיקון המידות,
if that would have been his life's goal,
maybe it is,
and he was working,
so I have no idea.
It's one's inner work,
that's why you don't ask someone,
if they're on work.
But if it would have been,
then you would think that over 10 years the way of speech would have
been refined slightly,
and the way of thought would have refined slightly.
But if it's not a סוגיא,
it's not a topic,
if a person's never thought about,
"What's my perspective?
What's my outlook?
Where are my מידות holding?
What's my closeness to הקדוש ברוך הוא?" it could be that other things will
develop and change,
and that will stay exactly the same.
It's like in school,
you know,
when you finish grade four,
you go to grade five,
it's default.
Just by default.
You don't have to pass any tests.
You don't have to have matured necessarily.
You don't have to know anything at all.
Right?
You're going to go to grade five,
you go to year five.
Right?
In Hasmonean,
if you finish year 10,
you're going to go to year 11.
If you go to year 11,
bar that for year 12.
Ah,
bar that,
for some schools they have certain years which you can only move up if
you pass,
and But most places in most years it's a default that you go up.
It's just it's just how it works.
That's what happens with us in יראת שמים,
too.
You just move on,
and you move on,
and you move on,
and you and you might not have changed in any way.
Another year,
and another year,
and another year,
and another year.
And there's no like test that you have to test yourself,
and say like,
"Am I growing in יראת שמים?" You can get to ראש השנה year after
year after year and be exactly the same place,
exactly the same place.
Not having changed at all.
Davening still being the non-focused and zoned-out davening year after year,
and not have changed at all.
And the קבלה will be there,
"I have to work on this,
and I need כוונה and davening," and a person will say like,
"I wish I would have more," but then it comes to three days later
he's carrying on as he was,
and then a year later he's in exactly the same place.
It's scary that if a person's not actively thinking about this,
it might not change.
And after 120 years,
הקדוש ברוך הוא will look at you and say like,
"So why didn't you work on it?" And you'll say,
"Well,
I was thinking about it a lot." And he'll say,
"Well,
what practical steps did you take?" And you say like,
"I don't know,
I never thought about that." "You thought of practical steps about money." "Yeah,
'cause I need to eat.
I need I need food.
I need to work,
I need to work,
'cause I need to eat." So השם will say,
"You also need יראת שמים." And you'll say,
"Well,
I never learned מסילת ישרים." And he'll say,
"Well,
you did learn מסילת ישרים." And you'll say,
"And that's where I made the change.
That's where I made the change.
That's when I heard that,
that's where I made that change." השם will say,
"Well done.
You did it.
You did it." So who's going to fix it if it's not you?
If you're not focused on this matter as a matter,
אם תבקשנה ככסף וכמטמונים תחפשנה אז תבין יראת ה׳.
You see the the that what's essential about יראת שמים is not reading more
books,
it's about having desire.
If it's not really important to you,
you could read as many books as you want.
If it's not really important to you,
you could listen to as many שיעורים as you want,
but no change will take place.
Because it's not really important to you,
so why would you?
It's it's work,
you know.
You have to be thinking deeply about yourself.
Not external thought,
internal thought.
And you you have to be willing to make a change if you're going
to You can't just There are certain books which you can read and not
apply back to yourself and still have knowledge from them.
There are certain books which only if you're applying the knowledge can you read
it.
There's a book,
I don't know if anyone's read it,
called בלבבי משכן אבנה.
It was in- it was initially written anonymously,
but then afterwards the rabbi who wrote it started giving שיעורים,
so it became more well-known.
His name is Rabbi איתמר שוורץ.
He lives in מודיעין עילית.
His book,
I'm I'm recommending it,
it's not an easy book to read if you're an external person.
It's a phenomenal book to read if you're an internal person,
meaning that you take the words and you apply them to yourselves and you're
trying to think how to work on them.
But it's a book about how to gain יראת שמים.
And it's a it's a really easy book to read externally.
You can just read all the words and you can understand.
It's not hard Hebrew.
But it's a book which,
after a few pages,
if you don't begin applying what he's saying,
then it starts feeling awkward.
Like,
okay,
'cause he's taking you through,
like he's teaching you how to מתבונן,
like to contemplate yourself,
how to contemplate הקדוש ברוך הוא,
and how to make a difference in your own inner world.
And and he's building you along the way,
and everything's kind of like a continuation of building.
And if you're reading it,
and you're not doing those steps,
and and it's like by now,
you've understood this,
and by now,
you've understood this.
And what he's saying isn't hard,
actually.
It's not hard to do.
It's pretty easy to do,
actually.
But you just have to give it time and give it thought,
and be willing to make a change.
To read מסילת ישרים like we're reading now,
that's easy.
It's easy!
You could read it and finish and go eat dinner,
and then you could not change at all.
It's not hard to do this.
But you can't read בלבבי משכן אבנה like that.
You just can't read it like that.
You have to read it and you have to apply what it's saying,
otherwise it gets hard to read.
You feel awkward,
you feel like I haven't done this,
I'm not there,
and you're and you're seeing where you could be.
So all you need is the desire.
If you have the desire,
then when you read things,
they make a difference to your life.
How do you get desire?
That's the question.
Telling me that I need desire is a good thing,
but how do I get the desire?
So I met someone in London just now,
and he's been on a journey in his religious growth,
but we were discussing it.
It's so interesting to meet old people,
you know,
like young people you haven't seen for a while.
And he told me that for him what was a turning point,
because he was also necessarily on the path of continuing in the eyes of
השם,
but he made a turn.
I said,
"What happened?" So he said he was in a particular place,
and he met a particular rebbe.
And the rebbe was so authentic,
and was so genuine about his own עבודת השם,
he said he hadn't met someone like that before.
He felt that a lot of people that he'd met talk the talk and
walk the walk,
right?
They're they're doing the right thing in the eyes of the religious community,
but themselves aren't deeply inner-connected to the Jewish values.
But he met this one rabbi in a particular place who he saw,
it was just so clear,
that he was so authentic.
And you know,
when you meet people like that,
I'll give you Someone like that was הרב אביגדור מילר,
if you've ever heard his שיעור.
Some of He was like He was like that as well.
When you hear their שיעורים,
they don't necessarily say anything new.
You could hear an entire שיעור by הרב אביגדור מילר,
and there was no חידושים.
He was saying things that like he just read in the book,
and he's like reading to you,
or he's saying an idea which is like a simple,
simple idea.
But it's so obvious by how he's saying it that he lives those values,
and that it's פשוט to him that he's living with השם that it just
wins your heart over,
that you say like,
that's authentic,
that's real.
And that's who I want to be.
Sometimes we get too complicated in our analyzing of השם,
that we actually move away from השם.
Because we're looking at Him from the outside.
And sometimes you hear someone like הרב אביגדור מילר,
and this person's other rebbe that he met on the way,
who is someone who is so authentic,
and it's just his talking to הקדוש ברוך הוא is so real.
It's just talking to השם.
It's just It's a natural talk with הקדוש ברוך הוא.
And he sees with an אמונה פשוטה that everything that's happening in his life
is so clearly part of הקדוש ברוך הוא's directing of him,
and guiding.
It's so clear to him that he doesn't need to say any big,
complicated חידוש.
Doesn't need that analytical understanding of how יד השם works.
It's just clear that השם is with him.
So that for him was a turning point.
He was trying too hard to ask questions about how השם works and why
it's that way,
and then he just paused.
And he said,
"Here's someone who's serving הקדוש ברוך הוא in this true and pure and honest
way." And then he said,
"I wanted that.
I saw that I wanted it.
I didn't know how to get it,
but I wanted it." But that created within him desire.
You still have to work,
it's not enough to just see him once,
but it created in him with a vision of someone who could just be
an authentic עבד השם.
I don't know if you've ever had that experience,
but think about it for a second if you've ever met someone like that.
Someone who it's clear when they're דאווענען they're talking to השם.
It's clear when they're learning,
whatever what they learn is clearly דבר השם,
that when they learn הלכה they they they apply the הלכה because it's the
דבר השם.
So,
like,
how can you read that and not then do it?
And they won't read something and forget.
They might forget learning,
but if it applies to them and it's a הלכה that they need to
keep,
then it's that's what you need to do!
This is דבר השם,
like it's just פשוט.
So he met someone like that,
and that was a turning point for him.
Not that immediately he changed,
but it created a desire.
And it says,
אם תבקשנה ככסף וכמטמונים תחפשנה אז תבין יראת השם.
אינו אומר,
אז תבין פילוסופיה,
אז תבין תכונה,
engineering,
אז תבין רפואה,
then you'll understand medicine,
אז תבין דינים,
and not even religious things,
then you'll understand דינים and הלכות.
Desire isn't necessarily a condition for understanding external wisdom.
You could not really be interested in it.
You've got a test in it.
Okay,
got a test,
so you learn the material,
you write it up,
you do well on the test.
Are you inherently interested in the topic?
No,
not at all.
You're waiting to burn the books when you finish the exam.
Get it done with.
Happy to finish with it.
But you'll do it because it has to be done.
It's an important test to pass.
And there are some subjects which you want to know because you want to
know,
because it's your your life depends on it,
because it's it's what life is really about.
With יראת השם,
with it only works if you have desire.
Only when there's a desire,
I want to come close to השם.
You could read all the works of עבודת השם,
and it won't make any difference.
But if there's desire to connect to השם,
then when you read the words,
you say,
"This is what I was listening to.
This is what I was looking for." Let me just tell you the story.
My daughter finished high school last year,
this year.
And at the end of the year,
they had a שבת with all the girls and their parents.
And they asked different parents to speak.
Some parents spoke a דבר תורה,
and some parents told a story.
One father told the following story.
He was from Russia.
He came on an exchange program to Israel,
and he was studying in a university,
in a university.
He was enjoying it,
because he's very academic,
and it was rigorous studies.
But he always felt,
when he was in Russia,
and even when he came here,
he always felt that there was something deeper he was seeking,
and he didn't know what it was,
but he hadn't heard it yet.
And then one day in the university,
they brought a rabbi to come and speak and give a שיעור.
It wasn't part of the official syllabus,
but it was like an optional שיעור that was being given in the university.
And the rabbi spoke about the נשמה.
And the rabbi spoke about how the נשמה has a calling to return to
השם,
and that the נשמה is always calling out to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
and that's our point of connection with הקדוש ברוך הוא.
And according to the degree that you're hearing it,
you'll feel קרבת השם.
And according to the degree that you distract yourself and get involved in other
things that are always going on,
be it positive things like work and studies,
be it negative thing like movies and drinking and alcohol and drugs and distractions,
either way it's going to distract you from that call of the נשמה.
The the second category that I said,
that actually distracts you,
because your mind is not even there,
it's distracted,
it's The other one of working and that could distract you,
it could not,
depending on how you're doing it.
You could use it as a distraction,
or you could use it as a way of aligning together,
using those together with השם.
But people do use it as a distraction.
They become workaholics in order not to answer the call of the נשמה that's
calling them to a higher mission,
a higher task,
to connect to השם.
And he said he'd never,
ever heard anyone speak about the נשמה.
He'd been in Russia,
when he came to university in Israel it had never been spoken about.
But he knew exactly what that man was saying,
because he'd felt that calling for years,
but without being able to give it a name.
He didn't have a name,
but he had this emotion.
He thought maybe he was a little strange,
there was something deeper in him that he didn't know what it was or
how to explain it.
And he just carried on,
but always seeking and looking what it was.
And he heard,
"This is what I've been looking for." And he switched to a ישיבה called
מכון לב—no,
no,
no,
called מכון מאיר.
מכון מאיר in ירושלים.
מכון מאיר in ירושלים is a ישיבה for בעלי תשובה.
And they have a Hebrew track,
and they have an English track,
and they have a Russian track.
And he joined,
he joined the Russian track in מכון מאיר.
And he said it was as if he knew all the things that were
being said already,
but just didn't have הגדרות for them.
He He felt that was his calling all along,
but he'd never ever given And he was speaking,
he was this was in the חדר אוכל,
at a meal.
And I remembered,
just there while he was talking,
something that happened to me,
that when I was 16,
so it we I I was working very hard for exams that I was
taking when I was 16.
And someone came to my school,
a rabbi came to my school and said the same thing in my school.
Said,
"You should just know that you're right now all focused on your exams,
and you should know that when you're focused on your exams there's something that
you don't notice,
you overlook.
But I'm telling you what it is:
finish your exams,
and I dare you," this person said,
"I dare you,
don't plan anything for two weeks.
Don't read novels.
Don't go to movies.
Don't get involved in other projects.
Just do nothing for two weeks,
and you'll hear the נשמה calling you and driving you to a higher purpose."
That's what this rabbi said to us.
And straight after the exams,
everyone went on camp to Israel.
My whole all my classes,
they went to camp to Israel.
I don't remember why,
I don't know,
I had something,
but I didn't go on camp to Israel.
I was at home,
and I'm an only I'm an only child.
So my home is boring and quiet,
there's nothing going on.
But I had a lot of friends.
But all my friends went away.
So it was boring and quiet and I didn't have any friends around.
And I didn't do it intentionally,
what this what this rabbi said,
I didn't even have it in mind.
But it happened.
It happened.
I was home alone,
and all my friends were away.
And we were doing family things,
but it wasn't like all day every day.
And I felt that gnawing,
you know,
that gnawing.
And ברוך השם,
I had learning to do,
but I wasn't like into learning.
I wasn't like going to a בית מדרש and sitting for three hours and
learning,
and I'd read a little פרקי אבות,
a little פרשה,
but not like sitting and learning hours.
It wasn't part of my life at that stage.
And then I identified to what that rabbi said,
how true it was.
There's a calling of the נשמה that's in.
And if you distract yourself all the time,
you won't hear it.
So for me,
I also had that awaken,
not the same degree as this person.
This person had it from קצה אל קצה,
from like being no connection to אידישקייט to being today,
I don't know if he's a rabbi,
but he's definitely a very,
very inspired and inspiring individual living in ירושלים.
Wow,
just to hear him was everyone was just like quiet and was amazed.
And he also gave that desire to connect to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
just by hearing him speak.
Because we all have that,
but you don't always think about it or connect to it.
And if you don't desire it,
and you're not in tune with it,
it's not it's just not going to happen.
You can go through your whole life doing everything religious all the time:
keeping מצוות,
דאווענען,
and learning,
and not think about השם.
Not think about השם!
It's like the craziest,
it makes no sense.
You're דאווענען to השם and not thinking about השם.
You are learning דבר השם and not thinking of השם.
You're doing the מצוות and saying אשר צונו,
that השם commanded us,
and not thinking about who השם is that commanded you.
It's just not part of the awareness.
But if you do desire it,
אז תבין יראת השם.
הרי לך שלהבין היראה צריך לבקש אותה ככסף ולחפש אותה כמטמונים.
It's not enough that you just learn it.
It has to come together with a desire,
a wanting,
a longing to have that connection,
that relationship with השם.
הדי אפוא במה שמלומד לנו מאבותינו?
Are you just going to say,
'I do things because of tradition'?
Are you just going to say,
'That's what my family does,
so I'm going to do it,
too'?
Is that enough?
Is that enough to be a vitalized,
alive,
and vibrant Jew?
And I'll ask you a real honest question:
Is that going to pass to the next generation?
If what you're doing,
you're only doing because it was received from the previous generation,
but it's not alive for you,
it's not vibrant by you,
you don't really care or are interested in it,
and when someone asks you why you're doing it,
you just say,
'My parents did it,
that's what I do as well.'
Are your kids going to do that?
Why would they?
Why would they?
Maybe you'll educate them to do what the parents had to do,
maybe,
maybe,
but then it will be dead by them.
It will be asleep by them as well.
It will be a missed,
generation after generation,
opportunity of connecting to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
Is it enough that you were just trained by your parents?
ובמה שמפורסם אצל כל בן דת דרך כלל?
Is it enough for you you're just doing what everyone does,
because everyone does it,
that's why you're doing it as well?
It's an empty אידישקייט!
It's an empty relationship.
It's missing the whole purpose.
It's being involved in all the structure,
and missing the נשמה.
My brother-in-law,
maybe I told you this story,
my brother-in-law goes to a שיעור once a week from a rabbi who's a
very inspiring individual,
and he's very inspired by that person,
and he was trying to convince me to come.
But it's really far away and it's like an awkward time,
so I didn't go.
So he wanted to convince me to come,
so he said,
'I'm going to send you a copy of this שיעור.'
And you're not allowed to send copies of this שיעור,
so he asked special permission,
and he got permission,
and he sent me the שיעור.
And he sent it to me,
and then he phoned me a few hours later,
I hadn't listened to it yet,
said to me,
'צבי,
אל תקשיב לזה.
Don't listen.'
I said,
'למה?'
So he said to me,
'זה גוף בלי נשמה.
Listening to that שיעור is a body without a soul.'
I said,
'What do you mean?'
He said,
'When you're in the שיעור with the רב,
and you hear him speaking,
you're at שמים,
and you see him living the words that he's saying.'
He said,
'It's transformative.'
He said,
'When you hear the recording,' he said,
'I listened to the recording,
and it's just it's not it's not that.
It's just not it.'
He said,
'צבי,
תבוא לשיעור,
come,
אבל אל תקשיב להקלטה.
Please don't listen to the recording that I sent you.'
If you desire it,
then it's not enough that you just received it from your parents or it's
what everyone else was doing,
it's something which is alive by you.
You see someone is doing,
and you feel the connection.
And that that's what we're here for!
We're not here for external showing אידישקייט.
We're not here for the practice.
We're here for vitalized,
alive אידישקייט,
that it's going to be a live connection to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
and you'll see the נפקא מינה in your kids.
If you're living your אידישקייט,
it will go down the next generation,
and you'll take it with you to the next world.
And if it's not,
then you ticked you checked the boxes,
but you missed the whole purpose:
גוף בלי נשמה.
So I'm very,
very excited and happy that we were זוכה to be back for this שיעור
today,
and this should just be only the continuation of our deepening our relationship with
השם.
יישר כח.