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Cinema PSYOPS is a weekly film review podcast where we experiment on an impressionable mind to find out why physical wounds heal, but Cinematic ones don't.
There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed
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Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the
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the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction
has a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
10 years.
Man 10. 10 years.
10 years Man
10 years.
10 years.
10. 10 years.
10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's
something from or us. Although the way the world
ends might be because of you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have
any control over it. The global temperature rise underscores a
chilling reality. Our planet is trying to tell us.
Something, but we don't seem to be listening. A recent study has suggested that
one third of an was death due to heat are directly related to global
warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,
which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on
fire in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing
effect of the wind, all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting
more fires on top of the radiation if they happen to have survived poisoning
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creates a mega fire that is a hundred or more square
miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema Psyops.
A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed.
Giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.
Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating.
Viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate
humanity. It's man returning to the
most primal, violent state as people
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What if the world we live in is just a dream or a simulation?
Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer game you are playing right
now, when it ends, you would be what causes the end of the world.
Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing this
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10 years.
10 years.
Hello and welcome
to the 480th
consecutive week of Cinema Psyops. I'm your
host, Cort, the guy that's really happy about our pick for
our decade of dimwitted dip shittery. And joining me in
the joy of covering Young Frankenstein as the picker of this
film, my co host, Matt. It's Frankenstein.
Is it Friedrich Frankenstein?
This is by far one of. No, this is my most quoted Mel
Brooks film of all time. My wife and I have indul
in joking with each other with this film on
multiple occasions. Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, yeah. This is just one of those films that you can party
with, have a good time with and quote all for the rest of your
life. Yeah. And in the most inappropriate times and still have it be absolutely
funny and like almost story time worthy.
Yeah. Period simple. I'm really stoked that you picked
this movie because it meant that I didn't have to worry about trying to fit
it in for my six. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of these films where I
pulled a little bit of a selfish. But in some cases I
also was like, you know, I think it'd be better off if you cover Bachelor
Party than me. Right. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, it makes sense.
Right. And then like I tried to pick like, you know, there's a. There's a
double header of a number one and a number two film coming up that were
your picks because everything from here on out is your picks. Bachelor Party,
obviously your pick. Young Frankenstein could have been my pick, but is definitely
our pick from here on everything until we get to the final run
that is going to close out our consecutive weeks where we,
you know, give that goal of having consecutive weeks nonstop for
10 years. Once we hit that goal, we're done not quitting, but we're
going to, we're done trying to do that. And we're.
The best way that we can celebrate that is this giant run. It's basically
over two thirds of our year almost. Yeah, right.
It could take a lit. It could take a bit. But hey, we're getting there.
Yeah. So essentially there's like 52 weeks that we have to do
that will complete year 10 and we essentially have
about less than 20 episodes.
I gave myself six of the what was remaining, not counting,
you know, back to school and that's how many. So we have like 33 films
that will be celebrating the end of 10 year
run. Like our decade of dimwitted dip shittery. Yeah. Will have its
own special run that will all come up with another fucking silly name that
probably has literation in it because that's the dumbass I like to be.
And you know,
I'll. We'll do that run and that's it. All right. Yeah.
We're not quitting again. I don't. Every time I say that's it, I hear,
like, hearts sinking everywhere. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and I can't hear the cloak.
Gasp of the abyss. Right. You and I can't not do this,
but we also can't keep doing this. Yeah.
You can't keep doing it in its current form.
Right, Right. And I. We're dying. Right. I have some show format
ideas that I think will actually work. Yeah.
But essentially, like, it may work out that we still get something out,
like, every week until we need a break, and then we'll just take the break.
Whenever we take the break, it may work out that way. We'll figure it out.
But the seasons are what's going to end up happening. Instead of it being a
year of consecutive, it's just going to be a season. And, you know,
if that lasts a year, then it lasts a year. Whatever. Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, if we have a day, we're just. Life is
in the way. Right. And I think it's kind of brazen for us to
even try for 10 years just to, like, you know, just say, hey, that's when
we're going to cut it off because we're inviting disaster, you know?
Yeah. It's like saying, if we got this. By the balls, we got
this by the ass. Yeah, we got this by the ass. I'm sorry. You never
want to say that whenever something's going well, because that's when shit bites you in
the ass every time. That's it. That's when things go horribly wrong for you.
That's when you get overconfident and a zombie takes a chunk out of the
back of your leg and then you become infected. That's just what happens when you're
Roger and you think you got it by the ass. Yeah. Because you don't have
it by the ass. You're losing it. I am definitely
losing it. So let's go ahead and take the break. And this week for
the pirate radio edit, I got a little kind of tongue in Cheek and inventive.
It's all songs about loving a monster,
could you love a monster, or, you know,
dealing with the monster within, all of that kind of stuff. I thought it fit
with Young Frankenstein's theme, so that's what I chose.
Oh, there you go. Yeah. That's nice for you. First is the band the Eels
with my beloved Monster, immediately following this on the pirate radio edit.
This'll keep you quiet. Oh, hi there. I didn't see you.
You caught me cutting a new show. I'm Bo Ransdell, and I'm
one of the mini creators you can find on Legion Podcast.
I said quiet.
My fellow podcasters and I work hard to bring you the best in horror podcasting,
but that comes at a cost. Wouldst thou like to live?
To live. You know, it's not offensive. I think it's perfectly fine the way it
is. I completely agree with you, Cort. I'm glad.
It's about time that you saw my point of view. A spot on observation,
as I. Yeah. I'm so glad that I built you.
What the fuck is this? Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you,
Matt. Build a robot to replace you. Hello,
I'm the Matt Robot. I am here to completely and utterly agree with
all of Cort's opinions and knowledge. Isn't he awesome?
He's, like, perfect. Oh, he's dad. He's just gonna agree with you the entire
show. Well, that's exactly what I want. Oh, my God, you were such a contro
feet. But here's the worst thing. The worst thing. You couldn't have
told me you're doing. This before I watched I spit on your grave.
Actually, I had them built before I had you watch House on the Edge.
Of the park as well. Oh, motherfucker. What? Dude, why did
I bother watching them? I don' why don't you tell him, Matt Robot? I will
defer that question to you and your mighty knowledge.
Oh, well, the pure fact of the matter is that the robot that agrees with
me on everything is only going to be used for other discussion.
When I want agreement, when I want something to constantly
disagree with me like a petulant child. Matt, that's what you're going to be in
here for. Which is why you have to watch the movies. Oh, shit.
Plus, this robot doesn't feel pain. Just you. You are spot on,
Cort. Once again, a completely concise argument completely
and utterly shuts down your opponent. I am in.
Thank you, Matt Robot. You're great. No, thank you, Corp. Hey,
Matt Robot. Can you do me a favor and get rid of Matt? Sure.
Hey, get over me. Hey. What?
Resistance is futile. Please stop kicking your feeble,
fatty body. Do not hope to fight out of the grip of my mechanical
arms. Yeah, I did design him, Matt, so he's perfect. Right again,
Cort. That's right, you. Come on. Drag him out. Come here, you petulant little child,
and I shall teach you how to respect far better.
The Eels is an odd band. I Can never really draw a beat on.
There's two songs of theirs that I like and only because they were in films
that I like. Weird. I've never heard of Monsters,
one of them. And then they had a song,
Beautiful Freak that was featured in the first Hellboy and a
couple other movies as well. And I like both of those songs because
they were featured in films and lame like that.
Nice. Yes. Well, what can I say? I'm a movie fanatic. So let's get talking
about Young Frankenstein. Yes.
Finally, the first third, after nearly four minutes
of credits of the film, it works its way into this sort of like Gothic
looking castle, like structure. It's a stone home.
It's kind of hard to tell if it's a castle or not because we're not
shown all of it. Right? Yeah. And I forget exactly what the rules are
between a castle and a stone home. So let's just call it
a Gothic looking castle. Right? Yeah. And then we
see a coffin. Cause it kind of dissolves into that. And what's inside
is the most sincerely dead Frankenstein, where his work is
attempted to be taken away. And someone truly needs to pry
it from those cold dead fingers as well. This is
a great. Cold dead hands. Yeah, it's a great bit where they're pulling it and
then it pulls back and then they try to pull it away from the corpse
and then it pulls back. They throw in the cheesy sound effects. It's just total
Mel Brooks. It's perfect. Yeah, yeah. Just good shit.
Yeah. They finally get it wretched loose and then this dissolves from that
into Gene Wilder. And our first clip. If we look at the
base of a brain which has just been removed from the skull,
there's very little of the midbrain that we can actually see.
Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week, if the
under aspects of the temporal lobes
are gently pulled apart, the upper portion
of the stem of the brain can be seen. The so called
brain stem consists of the mid. Are there any
questions before we proceed? I have one question. Dr.
Frankenstein. That's Frankenstein. I beg your pardon? My name,
it's pronounced Frankenstein. But aren't you the grandson of
the famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein who went into graveyards, dug up freshly
buried corpses and transformed dead components into. Yes,
yes, yes, we all know what he did. But I'd
rather be remembered for my own small contributions to
science and not because of my accidental relationship to a famous
Ku Klux Klan. Now, if you don't mind,
can we get on with your question? Well, sir, I'M not sure I understand the
distinction between reflexive and voluntary nerve
impulses. Very good. Since our lab work today is a demonstration of just that distinction,
why don't we proceed?
Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor
given any prior instructions to, has graciously offered
his services for this afternoon's demonstration. Mr. Hilltop, would you
hop up on your feet and stand beside this table?
Nice hopping. Mr. Hilltop, would you raise
your left knee, please? You have just witnessed a voluntary
nerve impulse. It begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex,
passes through the brain stem and to the particular muscles involved. Mr.
Hilltop, you may lower your knee. Reflex movements are those
which are made in independently of the will, but are carried out along
pathways which pass between the peripheral nervous system and the central nervous
system. You filthy, rotten, yellow son of a bitch.
We are not aware of these impulses. Neither do we
intend them to carry out our contraction of muscles. Yet, as you
can see, they work by themselves. But what if we block the nerve impulse by
simply applying local pressure, which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp
just at the swelling on the posterior nerve root
for, oh, say, five or six seconds? Why, you mother grabbing
bastard. As you can see, all communication is shut
off. In spite of our mechanical magnificence,
if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses,
we would collapse like a bunch of
broccoli.
In conclusion, it should be noted. Give him an extra dollar.
An extra? Yes. That any more than common injury
to the nerve root is always serious.
Because once a nerve fiber is severed, there is
no way in heaven or on earth to regenerate
life back into it. Are there any last questions before we leave? Uh, Dr.
Frank Frankenstein? Yes. Isn't it true that Darwin
preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extraordinary
means, it actually began to move with a voluntary motion?
Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti? Why,
the worm, sir. Yes, it seems to me I did read something of
that incident when I was a student. But you have to remember that a worm,
with very few exceptions, is not a human being.
But wasn't that the whole basis of your grandfather's work, sir?
The reanimation of dead tissue? My grandfather was a very sick
man. But as a Frankenstein, aren't you the least bit curious
about it? Doesn't the bringing back to life what was once dead
hold any intrigue for you? You are talking about the nonsensical
ravings of a lunatic mind. Dead is dead.
But look at what has been done. With hearts and kidneys hearts and kidneys
are tinker toys. I'm talking about the central nervous system.
But sir, I am a scientist, not a philosopher.
You have more chance of reanimating this skeleton than you have amending
a broken nervous system. But what about your grandfather's work? Sir,
my grandfather's work was doo doo.
I am not interested in death. The only thing that concerns me
is the preservation of life. Class is dismissed.
I laughed my ass off in that whole entire class sequence. It's so
fucking funny. Yeah. Oh, it's good shit. I love that the doc
gets so full of rage at the end of the clip that the scalpel he
was using to demonstrate that you have a better chance of reanimating a thing that
has never lived. And then he stabs that. He just gets so upset
that he just stabs that shit into the meat of his thigh. And it looks
like it's actually pretty close to where he might have almost hit that major
artery that could make you bleed to death. Yeah,
yeah. And then I like the class
dismissed. Yeah, yeah. That little bit at the end and then he just like
he pops his leg up to try and cover it up. All of that bit
is just absolutely hilarious. And Gene Wilder is in just top
form in this film as well. So at
the end, after the class leaves, the strange man approaches who is holding the box
that was clearly ripped from the ancestors. Cold dead hands. And they
discuss it in our second clip. Dr. Frankenstein.
That's Frankenstein. My name is Gerhard Folkstein.
I have traveled 5,000 miles to bring you the will of
your great grandfather, Baron Beaufort von Frankenstein.
Oh, my sweet darling. Oh, my dearest love.
I'll count the hours that you're away. Oh,
darling, so will I. Not on the lips. What?
I'm going to that party at Nana and Nikki's later. I don't want to smear
my lipstick. You understand. Of course. All aboard.
Oh, dear. Well, I guess this is it.
Freddie, darling. Well, how can I say in a few minutes
what it's taken me a life time to understand. Won't you try?
All right, you've got it, mister.
I'm yours. All of me. What else can I say?
My sweet love? The hair. The hair. Just been said.
Sorry. Sorry. I hope you like old
fashioned weddings. I prefer old fashioned wedding nights.
You're incorrigible. Does that mean you
love me? You bet your boots it does. Oh, my only
love. Taffeta, darling. Taffeta,
sweetheart. No, the dress is taffeta.
Wrinkles so easily. Oh, horrible.
There's that horrid man again. Hurry now, before I
make a fool of myself. Ah, the nails.
Sorry.
Goodbye, darling. Goodbye, Freddie.
Darling.
Can we just talk about what a red flag it is that you're about to
marry someone who is more concerned about their appearance than saying
goodbye to you before you leave in the train? Yeah, yeah. That's a big red
flag. Yeah. Like, find yourself someone that doesn't mind getting stained or wrinkled
to be happy with you, if you know what I mean. And I think you
do. Ye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find someone who's. Who wants to
have the messy times. Right. And your
messy vibe fits with their messy vibe as well. You gotta make sure that that
can happen for you. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
100%. Otherwise you're not gonna have a happy marriage.
One thing that Matt and I both have gotten right is we at least have
happy marriages. We do. We have happy marriages. I haven't
done a lot right in my life, but damn it, that's. That's. That's one of
them. Yeah. And our secret is we give the women everything they want and never
ask for anything in return. I also just agree. I just agree.
Time. Right. Get used to saying, I am wrong.
I am wrong. I am wrong. I am always wrong. I was 100% wrong there,
dear. I thank you. All right. At the end of the clip, thank.
You for talking with me. Thank you for making me a better
person. Right? Yes. Yes. At the end
of the clip, he blows her a kiss, which she feverantly ducks out
of the way. Then there starts a sequence of train rides where an old couple
in the car has a wife complain about a male child whacking it every
day with the husband just saying, let him, let him. In response,
this happens first at a stop in New York in English.
Second is in what I think is Romanian, and it's called
out for Transylvania as the stop. But it's the same discussion and almost the
same couple, just dressed differently. That shit hit for me
really hard this time. Everything in this movie hits for me.
The train comes to a stop and Frederick gets off the train and is
then later greeted by igor in our.
Third clip, Dr. Frankenstein.
Frankenstein? You're putting me on. No, it's pronounced
Frankenstein. Do you also say Frodrick? No,
Frederick. Well, why isn't it Frodrick Frankenstein? It isn't.
It's Frederick Frankenstein. I see. You must be Igor.
No, it's pronounced Igor. But they told me it was Igor.
Well, they were wrong then, weren't they? You were sent by Herr Falkstein,
weren't you? Yes, My grandfather used to work for your grandfather.
How? Race. Of course, the rates have gone up. Of course,
of course. I'm sure we'll get along splendidly. Oh,
sorry. I. You know, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a
rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I could help you with that hump. What hump?
Let's go. Allow me, master. Oh,
thanks very much. Walk this way.
This way.
I think you'll be more comfortable in the rear. Oh.
O. What was that? Oh, that'll be Inga. Hel.
Folkstein. Thought you might need a laboratory assistant temporarily.
Oh.
Hello. Would you like to have a roll in the hay? It's fun.
Sometimes I'm afraid of the lightning. It's just an atmospheric
discharge. Nothing to be afraid of.
Werewolf. Werewolf. There.
What? Fair wolf.
There, Castle. Why are you talking that way? I thought
you wanted to. No, I don't want to. Suit yourself.
I'm easy. Well,
there it is. Home.
What knockers. Oh, thank you, Doctor.
Oh, that's all right.
I am Frank. Frau Blucher.
Steady. How do you do? I am Dr. Frankenstein.
This is my assistant, Inga. May I present Frau Blucher.
Wonder what's got into them. Your homes have been
prepared her, Doctor. If you will follow me.
Igor, would you bring the bags as soon as you're finished, please?
Yes, master. After you, probably.
Blucher.
Follow me, please.
Stay close to the candles. The staircase can be treacherous.
This is your room. It was your grandfather Victor's room.
Well, seemed to be quite a few books. These. This was Victor
de Baron's medical library. And where is my grandfather's
private library? I don't know what you mean, sir. Well, books are all very general.
Any doctor might have them in his study. This is the only library I
know of, Dr. Frankenstein. Frankenstein.
Well, we'll see. Good night. Would the doctor care for a brandy before
retiring? No, thank you. Some warm milk, perhaps?
No, thank you very much. No, thanks. Oval.
Nothing, thank you. I'm a little tired and I will say good night.
Good night. Good night, darling.
Good night. Good night, Frau Blucher.
The clip ends with Frederick unpacking and cuts to him sleeping
and arguing with someone in his dreams. That appears to be the spirit
of his grandfather. That ends with him screaming, destiny.
Destiny. No escaping what's for me or whatever because he changes it
every time he screams. Destiny. Destiny. Yeah, that finally gets interrupted
by his quote unquote lab assistant in our fourth
clip.
What is it? You were having a knocked me.
What's that strange music? I have no idea.
But it seems to be coming from behind
the bookcase. Behind the
bookcase. Hand me that robe, would dear.
You were right. It's coming from behind this wall.
Where is it? Where is it that there's always
a device. If I can just spot the triggering mechanism.
Hello.
It seems louder over here. Hand me that candle,
will you?
Put the candle back.
All right, I think I have it figured out now.
Take out the candle and I'll block the bookcase with
my body.
Now listen to me very carefully. Don't put
the can candle back. With all of your might,
shove against the other side of the bookcase.
Is that perfectly clear? I think so.
Good girl. Put the
candle back.
Oh, look, Doctor. A passageway. Whatever that
music is, it's coming from down there. I'd better take
a look. Oh, let me come with you, Doctor, please. I don't
want to stay up here alone. All right then. Close your
robe and follow me. Oh, Doctor, it's a candle.
Good thinking. Let's try this one.
Stand back.
Don't be frightened, dear. Just a rat.
Filthy, slimy rat.
Good Lord. My tea
ain't got no party and nobody
cares for. I mean yak. Tadak.
Igor. Frodrick. How did you get here?
Through the dumpwaiter. I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and
I just followed it down. Call it a hunch.
There must have been someone else down here then. It would seem that way.
And there's the only other door. Wait,
Master. It might be dangerous. You go first.
Aren't there any lights in this place? Two nasty looking
switches over here. But I'm not going to be the first.
Damn your eyes. Too late.
Oh, so this is where it
all happened.
Just think. A dead brain ready to live
again. In a new body. Look. No blood,
no decomposition. Just a few sutures.
Throw the main switch. Yeah. Man.
What a filthy mess. I don't know, a little paint,
a few flowers, a couple of throw pillows.
Well, it seems as if our mysterious violinist has disappear.
What appears there is a light coming from behind
that door.
Dr. Luke. Well,
this explains the music. It's still warm.
But who was playing? I don't know, but whoever
it was just barely finished putting out his cigar. Such strange
goings on.
What is this place? Music room.
But there's nothing here but books and papers.
Books and papers? It is.
This is my grandfather's private library. I feel it.
Look. Look at this.
Until from the midst of this darkness,
a sudden light broke in upon me. A light so
brilliant and wondrous and yet so simple.
Change the Poles from plus to minus and
from minus to plus.
I alone succeeded in discovering the secret of bestowing
life. Nay, even more, I myself
became capable of bestowing animation upon
lifeless matter.
It could.
Thank you, Doctor.
As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my
speed, I resolved therefore, to make the creature of a gigantic
stature. Of course, that would simplify everything.
In other words, his veins, his feet, his hands,
his organs would all have to be increased in size. Exactly.
He would have an enormous schwarnstuka.
That goes without saying. Oof. He's gonna be very popular.
So then what we're aiming for is a being approximately 7ft
in height, with all features either congenitally or
artificially proportionate in size. Something like this.
Hello. You've caught something there.
Crude, yes, Primitive, yes, Perhaps even grotesque.
Yet something inexplicable tells me that
this might be our man.
They zoom in on the picture as he says that. And the transition
is the end of the first act of the film.
So we have just finished the first 35 minutes. Good times.
Yeah. I've found that almost all running times of films
break down pretty evenly into three sections because of
the three act structure that most people follow. Yeah. So I've started
doing it that way and it makes it easier to do that. And it worked
perfectly for this film. Pretty much right around 35 minutes was the act.
Yeah, yeah, seems so. Yeah. I mean,
how excellent is this movie, though? Yeah. I'm just trying to think of some
of the ones that I like the lines I quote the most. Like the walk
this way. Walk this way. I've actually done that down staircases at people in my
youth. Yeah. You know, like pretending like I have a cane and everything.
Yep. Walk this way. All right. Yeah, this way. This way.
The Frodrick, you know.
Yeah. Friedrich Funkenstein. And then I.
Frankenstein.
And just gotta say it too. Like Terry Gar in this
is totally a thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course.
Jesus. So adorable. And just the whole roll in
the hay. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. Yeah.
That's actually one of the things that my wife has done at me
as a joke where she has said, do you fancy a roll in the hay?
And then done the roll, roll, roll in the ha.
I love that. Yeah. And that's good stuff.
Yeah. That's a great way to entice me into a true roll in the hay,
if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Yep, yep, yep.
I think we all know what we all know what we all know.
All right, let's just Move on. Because everybody just got creeped out about me expressing
sexual desire. Yeah. And we don't need that in our lives
right now. All right, so the middle act starts with that
transition that I mentioned before, where we see the picture of
what would be the monster, that Igor sketch,
swinging around the fireplace. And then it dissolves into a hanged man swinging.
And then it cuts from that to his burial being completed with Igor
and the doc waiting to go dig him up. That dissolves into them hoisting
up a casket. Once they get done with the digging, the doctor
proclaims, what a filthy job this is. Igor says that it could
be worse, that it could be raining, and then it immediately does a massive
downpour on them from there. Absolutely hilarious.
Yep. Good shit. This cuts to them wheeling the coffin away,
and then we see them hoist through the town square where they drop
the coffin and it breaks open, leaving a cop to
come to stick his nose in. And that is our fifth clip.
Need a hand? No, thanks. Have one. Thanks very much all
the same. Just a moment, sir. I know everyone in
this neighborhood, but I've never seen your face before. Can you account for yourself?
Yes. I am Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, newly arrived from America.
Oh, yes, sir. I was told you were here. Well, I'm Constable Henry,
sir. Pleased to meet you. How very nice to meet you,
Constable. Why, you're chilled to the bone, sir. A nice
warm fire would be the thing for you. Yes, and a little nip from the
old bottle wouldn't be too bad either, would it, sir? Let's check it.
Yes. Well, if you have everything in hand, sir, I'll say
goodnight. Thank you very much, Constable. At your service, sir,
always. Good night, Constable. Good night, sir. That is a Gene Wilder
special, which was done to perfection, in my opinion, in Haunted Honeymoon,
where he is moving someone else's body part and pretending that it is his
and then trying to make up an excuse when those body parts start moving on
their own, only it's a set of legs. In that case, absolutely 100%
hilarious. Always good stuff. Yeah, the joke with the arm where he's
stamping his foot to make the sound of the rigor mortis
being broken out, kind of be covered, but not really, is fucking
hilarious. It's, again, just great stuff.
Yeah. This is. This is my favorite. Favorite Mel Brooks movie, for sure.
I like. I don't. It's gotta be. Yeah, I just. Yeah, yeah,
it's gotta be. I can't think of one better.
All right, so that sequence of him pretending that that's his
Arm dissolves at the end into the boys in the lab
working on the body. And that is our sixth clip.
Oh, what an awesome sight. What a profound and
reverent night is this. With such a specimen for a body,
all we need now is an equally magnificent
brain. You know what to do? I have a pretty good idea. Good man.
Didn't you. Didn't you used to have that on the other side? What? Your.
Oh, never mind. You have that name I gave you? I have it written down.
H. Delbruck. Hans Delbruck. This leads
to the sequence of the brain depository. And is absolutely
some of Marty Feldman's best physical comedic routines. You have
to watch this movie to see that stuff. I mean, I'm not even gonna try
and describe. He ends up getting. No, it's so visual,
some of this stuff. Yeah. He ends up getting scared. And then drops the specified
brain of the genius that he was supposed to do and damage it.
So he retrieves an abnormal brain instead. And they cut from that
to the Frankenstein lab in full swing. As the body
looks fully prepared and ready for reanimation.
Peter Boyle looks perfect as the monster laying there on the table.
The crew gets working on reanimating the corpse in our
seventh corps. He's hideous. He's beautiful.
Beautiful. And he is mine.
Hurry now. We're fighting time and the elements. Are you
ready? Are you sure this is how they did it?
Yes, yes. It's all written down in the notes. Now tie off the kites and
hurry down as fast as you can. What's the hurry?
There's the possibility of electrocution. Do you understand?
I say there's a possibility of electrocution.
Do you understand? I understand. I understand
why you're shouting. Did you.
Did you tie off the kites? Of course.
Oh, all right. Good. Check the
generator. Yes, master. Igor,
release the safety valve on the main wheel. Yes,
master. Can you imagine the brain
of Hans Delbruck in this body? Oh,
Frederick. This is the moment. Well, dear,
are you ready? Yes, sir. Elevate me. Now? Right here?
Yes. Yes. Raise the platform. Oh, the platform.
Oh, that. Yeah. Yes.
From that fateful day when stinking bits
of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to
the cold stars,
I am man.
Our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our own mortality.
But tonight we shall hurl the
gauntlet of science into the frightful face
of death itself.
Tonight we shall ascend
into the heavens. We shall
mock the earthquake. We shall command
the thunders and penetrate
into the very womb of impervious nature
herself.
When I give the word. Throw the first switch.
You've got it, master. Get ready.
Get set. Go.
Throw the second switch.
Throw the dark switch. Not the third
switch. Throw it. A key.
Throw it. The third switch,
aptly labeled the works, sets off a clusterfuck around
the lab. Sparks are flying off of all the equipment and Frodrich
screams out, life. Give my creation life.
He demands to be lowered down after the machines are shut down and we see
the charge light up the creature's skull. Before the machines are
shut off. Frederick takes it badly when the creature does
not live in our eighth.
Nothing. Oh, Doctor, I'm so. No, no. Be of good cheer.
If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures
as well as our successes. With quiet dignity and grace.
Son of a bastard. I'll get you for this. What did you do
to me? Why did. What did you do?
Stop it, you. Kill him.
I don't want to live. I do not want to live.
Quiet dignity and grace.
Mama. Oh, tosh. This man is
different, I tell you. You can see that after you told him for five
minutes. Yes, he's a Frankenstein. And they're
all alike. It's in
their blood. They can't help it. All those scientists, they're all alike.
They say they're working for. What they really want is
to rule the world. That's enough now. I will
not have this meeting become. A free for all. These are very serious
charges you're making. And all the more painful to us, your elders,
because we still have nightmares. From five times now
we haven't heard from the one man most qualified to. Judge the
situation fairly. Inspector Kemp. Will you talk to
us, please? A lion. It's an ugly
zinc. Once you get one started,
there is little chance of stopping it
short of bloodshed. I think before
we go around killing people, we had better make
den evidence.
We had better confirm the fact
that junk Frankenstein is indeed following
in his grandfather's Woodstocks. What? Following in
his grandfather's woodstops footsteps. Woodstocks.
What is an order is for me to pay
a little visit on the good doctor.
To have a nice quiet sh.
Reputation. Reputation. Oh, duck. You mustn't do this.
You've got to stop thinking about it. But look. You haven't even touched your
food. There. Now I've touched
Happy. You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen
to him. The things he'd say to me. What did he say? What the
hell are you doing in the bathroom? Dad? Why don't you get out of there?
Give Someone else a chance. Oh, maybe it's better this way.
The poor lifeless hulk. Maybe it is better off dead.
What is this? Schwartzwalder Kirstort.
Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.
Who are you talking to? To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I
thought you liked the dessert. I didn't make a yummy sound. I just asked you
what it is. But you did. I just heard it. It wasn't me. It wasn't
me. Well now, look here. If it wasn't you and it wasn't you.
Alive. It's alive.
It's alive. Stand back.
Hello there. I'm going to set you free.
Is this sedative Rooney? Yes, Doctor. I want
you to sit up.
Stand on your feet.
You can do it.
Now walk.
Oh, Doctor, I'm frightened. Don't worry.
Good. Good.
What is it? What's the matter? Quick,
give him the. Quick, give him the.
What? Give him the what? Three syllables.
First syllable sounds like. Head sounds
like. Again. Bed.
Said.
Second syllable. Little bird.
Said a dirty word. He said a dirty word.
Sounds like. To give.
Said a. Give him a set gift
on the nosy.
Sedative. Oh, Frederick. Are you
all right? Yes. Would you excuse me for one minute,
dear? Of course, Doctor. Igor,
may I speak to you for a moment? Of course. Sit down, won't you?
Thank you. No, no. Up here. Thank you.
Now, that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck?
No. Ah, good. Would you mind telling me whose
brain I did put in? And you won't be angry? I will not be
angry. Abby someone. Abby someone. Abby who?
Abby Normal. Abby Normal.
I'm almost sure that was the name. Are you saying
that I put an abnormal brain into a
seven and a half foot long,
54 inch white gorilla?
What? Is that what you're telling me?
Wait. Quick, get him up. What three
syllables? Yes. I wonder who
that could be at this hour.
Inga, quick. See who that is. You put that thing
back on the operating table. And strap him down tightly.
Where are you going? To wash up. I've got to look normal. We've all of
us got to behave normally. I only stop it here because I had to
hit the bathroom. Which is ironic because during the clip I actually hit
the bathroom. While we were recording. Yeah. And then I
also wanted to say that it was obviously the main cop that was at the
door knocking. We do see that. And so at the end of the clip when
he says that they all have to. To act normal and his collar pops
Out. And is all goofy and weird. That basically is
right at the end there. Cut from that into our ninth
clip. Ha. Monsters.
Excellent shot. This is the 20th century camp.
Monsters are passe like ghosts and goblins.
Not to the good people of the spirit. Herr Dr.
Rosem. Yes, a very real think.
Especially one. There is a Frankenstein residing in
this house.
Nice grouping. Thank you. I wouldn't think an intelligent
fellow like you would fall for all this superstitious rot.
It is not superstition that worries me, Herr Doctor. But genes and chromosomes.
Rubbish. Well, you might say, but this is translation.
Pennsylvania. Aren't you out
of ragged, Striker? You seem unusually
upset by this discussion. Not in the least.
I find it extremely amusing, that's all.
Well, this was fun. And now, if you don't mind, Inspector,
I'm a little bit tired. I may give sir villagers your complete
assurance that you have no interest whatsoever in
carrying on your grandfather's fork. May I
take that for a yes? Very well. I think you can find
the way out by yourself, can't you? Of course. Until we're
up again. Bell. Yes. Drop by anytime.
We are always open.
Victor. Victor.
We have done honest.
I'm going to set you free. Would you like that?
My n wanted
to hurt you. But I'm going
to help you. Thank heavens that's over with.
Frank. Looker.
Stop. Don't come closer. What are you doing?
I'm going to set him free. No. No, you mustn't.
Yes. Are you insane?
He'll kill you. No, he won't.
Not this one. He is as gentle as a lamb.
Stand back. Stand back to the love of God. He has a rotten
brain. It's not rotten. It's a good brain. It's rotten,
I tell you. Rotten.
Ixnay on the otten ray. I'm not afraid.
I know what he likes.
That music. Yes. It's in
your blood. It's in the blood of all Frankenstein's.
It erases the soul when worlds are useless.
Your grandfather used to play into the creature he was making.
And it was you all the time. Yes. You played that music in
the middle of the night. Yes. To get us into the laboratory.
Yes. That was your cigar smoldering in the ashtray.
Yes. And it was you who left my grandfather's book out for
me to find. Yes. So that I would.
Yes. Then you and Victor were. Yes.
Yes. Say it. He was my
boyfriend. All right. The gags with
the dart games are the absolute fucking best. I love the
chief of police guy. Kind of cheating and pretending like he did the Grouping
like he did just by stabbing it with his. Yeah, with his,
you know, actual hand instead of his.
His prosthetic one that he actually uses, like, is anything but a prosthetic
hand, more or less. Nice grouping.
Yeah. And then where he's, like, distracting him by saying things to fuck with
Frodrick while he's doing his shots, and they go out the
window and, like, one of them hits the cab driver or the.
The driver, the car driver's fucking helmet and stuff.
All of that. Absolutely hilarious. And it's all through that clip.
It's good. Yes, good. Yeah. I mean, it's so funny.
Inventive. Smart, dumb. It's funny how
something can be dumb and smart at the same. Well, then at
the end of the clip, the monster, you kind of hear it, he backs into
a machine and he kind of lights himself up. So that sends him on a
rampage out the door with most of the cast following.
While Frau Blucher shouts about how the monster is
now free. We see the monster escapes into the storming night with
Frederick and crew following behind him and
narrowly missing before he gets completely away. And that is our
10th. Gone.
Gone. We've got to find him, you understand?
We've got to find him before he kills someone.
What have I done? Oh,
God in heaven, what have I
done? This cuts to the monster happening on a little girl pulling petals
off of a flower as she is approached by the monster. It cuts
to her parents preparing for the inevitable attack of the
monster by boarding up their house. Then it cuts to
the monster and the girl running out of stuff to put in the well.
It cuts back to the parents deciding to run upstairs to check on the
girl in bed because they are now terrified because neither one of them actually
put her to bed. And then it cuts back to the monster being forced to
seesaw with the little girl, who orders him to sit down. He does this,
which immediately launches the little girl through the air, and she ends
up landing in her bed, either knocked out, cold or
dead. One of the two, probably dead with a broken
neck from the looks of it, the way she lands. But it happens just as
her parents get in the room and they are calm to see her laying there.
Damn. Then it cuts to Gene Hackman as the blind
man from Bride of Frankenstein and our 11th
clip. A visitor is all I ask, a temporary companion to help me pass
a few short hours in my lonely life.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
Oh, no, no, no. Don't speak. Don't speak. Don't say a word. Oh,
my joy and My prize from heaven. Oh, you must have
been the tallest one in your class. My name is Harold and
I live here all alone. What is your name? I didn't get
that. No, forgive me.
I didn't realize you were a mute. You see how heaven plans.
Me, a poor blind man, and you, you, a mute. An incredibly
big mute. But your hand is frozen, my child.
How does a nice bowl of soup sound to you, huh?
Yes, well, I know what it means to. To be cold and hungry.
Yes. And how much it means to have. A little kindness from a stranger.
Are you ready for your soup?
Hold out your bowl then. Oh, my friend,
my friend. You don't know what your visit means to me.
How long I've waited for the pleasure of another human being.
Sometimes in our preoccupation, worldly matters,
we tend to forget the soupal pleasures,
the basis for true happiness. Yes, yes,
yes. Oh, and now a little wine with
your soup, huh? Good, good.
Good.
Wait, a toast. Toast too, yes. Long friendship.
How hungry you must have been. Now, now, now for
a little surprise. For a special occasion, I've been saving cigars.
Mmm. No,
no, fire is good. Fire is
good. Yes, Fire. Fire is our friend. Yes, I'll show you.
I'll show you.
Do you have your cigar? Let me see, let me see.
Don't inhale until the tip close.
Wait,
wait. Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso.
That last line, delivery from Gene Hackman is fucking hilarious.
Yeah, yeah. And the end of that clip there is two thirds
of this movie down. A little bit over, but just good enough. Hey,
there we go. We get. I mean, when you're having fun, it. Time flies.
Yeah. I gotta really kind of admit here.
I'm gonna tell a little bit more about it, but. And explain,
like, how I ended up figuring this out, but loved this film before
knowing what I knew about the Frankenstein movies, where I'd only seen a few of
them. And I had a suspicion that, you know, obviously it's a parody of all
the Frankenstein movies, so they would have paid attention to a lot of the various
Universal Frankenstein films. But what I didn't realize is how
much attention they actually did pay to it until I actually
sat down and watched all the Frankenstein movies. Right? Yeah. And I'm
going to tell, like, how that kind of happened in my story time. But anyway,
one of the things that I definitely loved is the attention
to detail in Mad, the look of the films. And when
I say that it was Gene Hackman as the blind man in Bride of Frankenstein,
like, I may get the movie name wrong. And I'm sorry, it's just been so
long since I've seen them. And I always watch all the old Universal Frankensteins in
a row together. Right. But I'm pretty sure it was the blind man in the
second in Bride of Frankenstein that Gene Hackman is doing
a parody of in this scene. And it is almost one for
one exact. The cottage looks almost exactly the same.
Gene Hackman is dressed up looking almost exactly like that
actor. Whether you put him in makeup with the hair and everything. And a
lot of the sequence where, you know, the. He tries to convince him that fire
is good and, you know, friend good, smoking good, all that
stuff ends up happening with the blind man. And it's almost
a direct parody of that. So, like, instead of the blind man being good at
what he does, he's dumping soup in fucking the crotch and shit.
And it's absolutely fucking hilarious. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious.
And just again, it's like. It's so weird. It is
this slapstick type comedy, but it seems smarter. Like when
I said, can something be smart and dumb at the same time.
Yeah, well, what it's doing is the most base humor
over top of a parody of something,
but also matching it in the way that it looks
and feels and the quality of the acting and the style of
acting to the point where you are 100% recreating
the thing that you were lampooning, but just shoving in your stupid dick and fart
jokes. And that's what makes this so work so well, makes it so
brilliant. They recreate everything so perfectly
that they are literally hanging all of these dick
and fart jokes and the stupid humor on a 100%
loving recreation. And I have to give all of that credit to Gene
Wilder. Right. He's the one who wrote the script. He's the one that ended up,
like, getting all of the detail involved and wanting to make sure that they
made these as closely to the actual Frankenstein
movies that they're lampooning. And he's the one that wrote the individual scenes
that are these loving homages that also lampoon at the same time.
Yeah, exactly. And I think it's the reason that anytime
Mel Brooks tried to revisit this is if he was doing it without Gene Wilder,
it's because Gene Wilder actually puts that love of the actual films
that he wants to hang his comedy around. He does it again in
Haunted Honeymoon. Brilliantly. And there's a lot of other films like
that that he did, like the murder mystery things and parodies and
stuff like that. And I just. I have to love on Jean water
100% for that, because this film would not be what it is without
him making it happen. You know, it's just. It's perfection.
Like, this is my absolute favorite for. A. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's just
good. Yeah, it should be your favorite for. I mean, I can understand
that. I was just saying, like, you know, I think Mel Brooks has done some
great things, but, yes, I could definitely say this is easily someone's favorite.
Yeah. Well, again, when I say that this is his pinnacle,
it's obviously my opinion, but I also feel like I don't. I don't.
Like the Producers was before this. Right. Yes, I think you're right. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Would you consider this to be a better film
than the Producers at least, though? The first time he
did it. Yeah. The second one, I think, was pretty together a lot better,
though. Oh, okay. So did he direct the Second Producers,
the remake? I don't know if he directed it, but it was still all his
stuff. That's fair. Okay,
well, I'm going solely by his direction, then. His direction? Okay,
well, then if you're going by direction, then yes. Young Frankenstein is his zenith.
Okay, I agree with that. Cool. Let's go ahead and close out the final act
with that agreement, then. Let's do it. All right. The final act starts
with the monster charging out of the man's home after his thumb
was lit on fire. And we see the monster wandering the streets of
the town when we hear the sound of the violin.
And it is Frederick in disguise, playing the song to ensnare the
monster. The trap works, and they drop a net on the creature and pump him
full of sedatives. I mean, sedatives. The creature
passes out, and they cut to them locking up the monster.
Fedric decides to go in at the start of our
12th clip. I'm going in there. Bring me that candle.
No. Yes. Love is the only thing
that can save this poor creature. And I am going to convince
him that he is loved, even at the cost of
my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly
I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream,
do not open this door or you will undo everything
I've worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this
door. Yes, Doctor. Nice work.
Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here.
What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Don't you know a
joke when you hear one?
Jesus Christ. Get me out of here.
Open this goddamn door. I'll kick you rotten heads in.
Mommy. Nine minutes.
Hello, handsome. You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh
at you. People hate you. But why do they hate you?
Because they are jealous.
Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile.
Do you want to talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about
sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal?
You are a God. And listen to me.
You are not evil. You are
God.
This is a nice boy.
This is a good boy. This is
a mother's angel. And I want the world
to know, once and for all and without any
shame, that we love him.
I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show
you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to
think. Together,
you and I are going to
make the greatest single contribution to science
since the creation of fire.
Dr. Frankenstein, are you all right?
My name is Frankenstein.
The clip ends with a cut to a sign of a sold out performance
of the Doctor and his creature. They perform Putting on the Ritz and
you just have to fucking watch it because it is comedic gold. And I'm not
gonna try to describe it. Yeah, it's brilliant. The performance is
interrupted when one of the lights sparks out and startles the creature.
He cannot be calmed and the Doctor cannot get the momentum back.
And the crowd boos and throws shit at him,
sending the creature into a rampage that cannot be contained. He attacks at
the crowd and is subdued by the pigs and carried off. They do a wipe
dissolve from this to the Creature chained up and being watched in
our clip. Chained. Chained like a beast in
a cave. Oh, Doctor, I feel so terrible. There's only one
answer. If. If I could find a way to equalize the imbalance
in his cerebral spinal fluid, why, he'd be as right as rain.
But how? How, before it's too late? Oh,
Frederick. If only there was some way I could relieve
this torture you are going through. If there
was some way I could help to relieve the
tension. If there was just some way I could give you a
little peace.
Doctor, I have. Doctor? What is it? Doctor,
where are you?
I'm sorry, Doctor. This cable came while you were gone. I thought
I told you never to interrupt me while I'm
working. I'm sorry, Doctor. I thought this was an emergency.
You see, your fiance will be our. Arriving in a second.
What? Elizabeth here tonight? Yes. I will go prepare
her room at once. I suggest you put on a
tie.
Darling, Darling. Surprise, surprise.
Love me. Love you. Well, let's turn in,
darling. It's been a long day. I'm sure you're very tired.
I'll just pay the driver. Darling. What?
It's a surprise. I. Yes? Love me.
Well. Well, let's turn in,
darling. Yes. Say nothing. Act casual.
Ready? Yes. I think. Yes.
I am a bit tired after all. I'd like you to
meet my assistants, Inga and Igor. How do you do?
How do you do? This is my financier, Elizabeth. Oh, I'm so happy
to meet you at last. My finance. Excuse me,
darling. What is it exactly that you do do?
Uh, Well, I assist Dr. Frankenstein in the laboratory.
We have intellectual discussions, aren't we? As a matter of
fact, we were just having fun as you were driving us.
What? Igor, would you give me a
hand with the bags? Certainly. You take the blonde, and I'll take the one in
the taven. Oh,
stop that. Talking about the luggage. Yes,
master. Ladies, this way. It's going to be a long night. If you need
any help with the girls, please don't hesitate.
You settle down now. Cause we're gonna be pal.
Right nice
and cozy. Just like old.
What's the matter? You're afraid of this little fire?
This can't hurt you. See?
Oh, some monster you are. See, Mama was right.
Little boys ain't supposed to play with fire,
is they? Cause they might get hurt.
Hurt? A riot.
It's an ugly thing. And I think that it
is just about time that we had Van.
Killer Mon.
He will curse the day Gregory
was burn half Frankenstein.
What? I said, he will curse the day that
they was born of Frankenstein.
Loose. He's broken loose. Do you know what that means?
Darling, you mustn't worry so. I suppose
you're right. Of course I am. Now, come along like a good boy.
What would I do without you? Is your room just down the hall in case
I get the fright during the night? Well, yes, but I.
I thought perhaps tonight, under the circumstances, I might stay here with you.
Would you want me like this now? So soon before our wedding,
so near we can almost touch it? Yes.
Whoa. Oh, boy. Or. Or wait
just a little while longer. When I can give myself to you without
hesitation. When I can be totally and unashamedly and
legally your. It's a tough choice. You're a tough guy.
I suppose you're right. Of course I am. I. I always am.
Now give me a kiss and say good night. No tongues.
Good night, darling. Good night, sweetheart.
I love you. You love me? I love
you, honey. Sweet dreams. Darling,
Good night. Don't let the bedbugs. Bye.
He is. Glory, glory hallelujah.
Where am I? Who are you? What? What are you. What? What do you
want? What are you going to do to me? Calm down.
I'm not afraid of you. How much do you want to let me go?
My father is very rich. You can have the entire world at your fingertip.
Listen, I have to be back by 11:30.
I'm expecting a very important call.
Speak. Speak. Why don't you speak?
Oh, you can't be serious.
I must. Oh my God. Woof.
I'm engaged. And one thing he took, but I didn't. It was never enough.
All the. Oh, my.
Sweet mystery of life. At last I found
you.
I know the secret of it all.
Penny for your thoughts.
You're incorrigible, aren't you?
You little zipper neck.
All right. Seven has always been my lucky number.
Come over here, you hot monster.
What is it? What's the matter? Is it that music?
It's probably just from some nearby cottage. It's nothing to worry about.
Where are you going? Oh, you men are all alike.
Seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and
brag. You better keep your mouth shut. Oh, I think I love him.
I'm not so sure that the monster ravaging her like that
is or isn't a rape joke. But it felt like it might have been and
was a lot more uncomfortable watching it this time. Yeah, it felt a
little off, but. Ye I'm going to give
him. Maybe she was like, he obviously kidnaps
her, but like the. I don't know how to exactly describe
it, but you know, it was like a play instead of her. Like she never
really fully says no, but at the same time that doesn't mean that
she's absolutely saying yes. But maybe it's one of those like games
that they were already playing. I don't know. It's weird.
We don't know the whole story. Yeah. But clearly she is enjoying herself
by the end of it. But if that's what they're saying it takes is just
a man to take her and then eventually she's going to like it. That's fucking
gross too. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd rather just go by.
It was a game, right? Because she seemed to enjoy it. And I
don't want to think of that. Right. We see that Frederick is
playing the violin accompanied by Igor on the horn. The monster is
returning because of the music. The monster climbs the wall to the
source of the music and is attempted to be helped by the assistant and
Igor. But Frederick demands he does it himself.
So the monster does. They catch the exhausted creature and discuss the
transference of minds. To save the creature, Frederick is warned that he is
risking both of their lives. Which takes a sour note before Frederick
agrees. And then we see the transference procedure coming
to an end in our final switching
off.
How. How will I know when they are done? The doctor said to allow a
fifth 15 minutes, not one second more or less.
How long now? Two more minutes,
Einstein.
What's that noise? I don't know. What time is it?
Almost time.
Oh my God. It's the villagers.
No, no. Please. Just another seven
seconds.
No, no. No.
Put that man down. It's the monster.
Nah, I can't be. It is. I said put that
man down.
Just h. Who do you think you are that you ordered these
people about? I am the monster.
Yeah, I see that you are a demonstra. As long as I
can remember, people have hated me. They looked at my face and
my body and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness, I decided
that if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope,
I would instead cause fear. I live
because this poor half crazed genius
has given me life. He alone held an image
of me as something beautiful. And then,
when it would have been easy enough to stay out of
danger, he used his own body as a guinea pig to
give me a calmer brain and a somewhat more sophisticated way
of expressing myself. But this is of course,
an empty, entirely different situation. As the leader
of this community, may I be the first to offer you
my help in friendship.
Thank you. You are entirely welcome. But now let us
all go to my house for a little sponge cake and a little wine
and shit. To the lumber yard.
Hello, Mrs. Frankenstein. Mrs.
Frankenstein. What a beautiful name. Oh,
darling, hold on to your hair. What? I'll be right
back.
De dum da
da. I'm holding onto it, darling. Just a few
more seconds.
La da da. Honey, Honey. I hope you didn't find
Daddy's little party too boring. I mean, he did it just for you and he
meant so well. Say you liked it. Mm. Honey,
did you see? I put a special hamper in the bathroom just for your shirts,
and the other one is just for socks and poo poo undies. Here I come.
The feeling is mortal. You know, it's a puzzlement.
There's something always wanted to ask you about that operation.
You know, in the transference part, the monster got part
of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?
No, I don't believe. Oof. Oh,
oh, oh. Sleep.
Mystery of life at last I found you.
And then we roll credits. Cinema PsyOps.
10 years. 10 years.
Boy, I got a lot of behind the scenes clip fixing to do. This is
why you should never record clips and or edit clips with little sleep,
because you're trying to do too many things at once. But everybody,
it'll be fixed by the time the show gets out, because that's what I do.
Yeah, right. Yeah. All right. So again,
absolutely. I've gushed over this film like so many times. I don't even
know, like, how much more I can actually gush about. But I
do want to point out that making Frodrich,
the grandson of Victor von Frankenstein.
Frankenstein, Right. But the actual Frankenstein
series in Universal, there was a Son of Frankenstein and then they went
to Ghost of Frankenstein. I think that may have been
his grandson or was. Or no, maybe it was still involving the son and his
family. Or it was just after that and it was a different scientist.
There was definitely a Son of Frankenstein movie and that son
also had a child. So that would be a ghost or, you know,
a grandchild of Frankenstein that they're hinting at here. There's a lot of
things that happen in Ghost and Son of Frankenstein that are also featured
in this. I can't remember all of the pieces, but I do know that
one of the films does have a sort of like chief of police guy who
is missing an arm because the monster ripped it off when he was a child.
Like a horror story like that. Oh, yeah. I think that's in Ghost of Frankenstein.
I'm not like, again, it's been so long, I can't really remember. I'm not 100%
sure. And the reason that I'm talking about it now is because I'm not going
to bog my story time down with trying to find all of these pieces.
I'm just going to explain how I ended up learning this and the
joy that it brought me to discover it,
essentially. So, yeah, that's. But you
not knowing that, I assume, because you're not the big Universal fanatic that
I am. Like, you haven't watched all of the Frankenstein movies. I'm sure you've watched
at least the first two. Like Bride and Regular Friends. Yeah, I've watched the original
Frankenstein. Yeah. And you've seen Bride probably, right? I probably
have, yeah. Well, if you haven't, we'll have to rectify that because that's actually kind
of my favorite of the series. I love Bride for multiple
reasons, obviously. Of course. Yeah. But so
there's a lot of moments that they actually end up putting in
there that are from the various pieces of that series.
And I remember watching on a documentary Gene Wilder talking about that
many, many years later. And it was very purposefully done.
He wanted to take some of the most dark and
horrific elements and sort of turn them into creating a
laugh and bringing someone's some joy in some way,
shape or form. Now I'm not saying that Gene Wilder wrote all the dick and
fart jokes, but all of the accurate stuff that makes me absolutely
love the movie even more now that I know that that's in there was definitely
because of Gene Wilder. And I just want to stress that again. That's awesome.
Of course. Yeah. And what a genius. Yeah.
Everything he did was just fucking gold. He was such a wonderful comedian and
I hope I never learned anything terrible about him. There's somebody on
TikTok who does. Was your favorite, like celebrity, a horrible person
and they deep dive different and they did Gene Wilder and nope,
they couldn't find really anything. Oh, good. That's so good to know
because he. May have like cheated on a wife, you know, but other
than that, on. A scale of like horrible, like, I'll take that, I'll take
like, I'll take a. I'll take a celebrity has a secret love child over
a celebrity. New John, like knew Epstein very closely and
been on the plane several times. Yeah, yeah, no, nothing like that.
You know, just loved people and took care of
them and was kind and great to children, all that kind of
stuff. And may have cheated on a wife. Maybe,
I don't know. And I can't remember it that much. I took care of Gildner
rather for, you know, and held her so close to his heart before she
passed, you know, all that stuff. So. Yeah, because he really seems like that would
be him. Right. He just seems like he was such a loving and caring person
just from everything that you see of him. And I'm glad that he actually was
because he lovingly and carefully lampooned a
series of films that could have just been not taken in the
regard that it should have been had somebody done this without him. I'm looking at
you, Dracula, Denton. Loving it. Yes.
But it parodies just vampire films in general and it wasn't
parodying the classic Universals. It was parodying
pretty much everybody else that took a stab at Dracula. And I'll get off its
back because I still love Dracula Download as well. Yeah. Of course.
This is just way fucking better.
All right, we're going to stop beating up on that. We're going to take the
break now. And once again keeping up with the theme of monsters.
Just like gene wilder, L7 has a monster in them. On the radio
edit.
Somebody has run Matt Robot through the gambit of sexual pleasures.
Yeah. And it apparently is a woman that has done this. That's all we can
say so far. A female has entered the lab, found Robot Matt.
And for obvious reasons because that someone may have
had a fixation on Matt. Oh, God. And then Robot Matt went
a little nutty and started trying to teach all robots. He didn't go a
little. Just say it was full on robot orgy.
It really. I mean, I completely regret making the robots anatomically correct.
That's why we're here in the bunker, guys. Oh, sorry about that. And I couldn't
believe the footage I saw that you routed to me in the lab.
They tried to get the microwave involved. I didn't know the
toaster went down. I didn't even know that either one of
those two things were sentinel. Did you make them sentinel or
do the robots themselves? They saw Talky Toaster.
Oh, from Red Dwarf. Yeah, I was watching Red Dwarf and
they saw Talky Toaster and they thought that that would be really funn. Yeah,
well, I mean. Yeah. Holy Jesus. Not just let
shame or anything, but your toasters are real big. Oh,
well, it's not really slut shaming. It's a toaster.
It's sentient, but it doesn't have feelings for it to get hurt.
Yeah, it's all logic. And apparently sexual pleasure. It's weird.
Uncomfortable in the lab now. All right, all right, all right.
I gotta interrupt that, but I don't really want to. I am such an L7
fan and that just made me feel bad to have to interrupt them for my
story time.
Story time.
Story time. Once again. Until you get sick of it,
I'm gonna keep playing it in its entirety. So you're gonna have to tell me
when you're sick of it. And I'll never get sick of it.
All right. So I was kind of hinting at it. And so this is sort
of a double up story time. But it does feature Young Frankenstein.
Very prominen. This was shortly after
the Universal monster movies were coming out on special DVD
collector sets that this takes place. So this is back when
Toy R Us was still a store that existed.
I was working for the local cable company as
a technical support person. And during my lunch breaks
I would run out, grab food, and actually go
do some shopping at Toys R Us with one of my coworkers, who is now
one of my closer friends and was on geek Chad army with
us, actually quite a bit. Anyway, when we were at Toys R
Us, I ended up seeing the Frankenstein box
set that was available there. And so
I decided to buy this DVD while we were there, just because
we were shopping and it was right next to where we would go grab lunch
and everything. And so I ended up picking it up and I started watching
all of those films and I went through every single one of the. Every single
one of the Frankenstein movies that was in that box set in order of their
release, all of the sequels, everything, all the way up to, like,
House of Frankenstein and all the shit that was in there. The Abbot and Costello
Meet Frankenstein, all of that kind of stuff or what have you. Anything that featured
Frankenstein's monster was in the box set. After watching
all of those all the way through, I then decided to go ahead and
watch Young Frankenstein because I wanted to watch the parody. Now, I had
been watching, I'd been watching the movie some of them. It was kind of the
first time that I watched them, but this is sort of the first time that
I definitely watched a lot of them as an adult because it had been a
really long time since I watched the Universal monster movies. Like,
yeah, like, specifically was trying to pay attention to the story and enjoy
the film, not just had them on because they look fucking cool, you know?
Yeah, no, I got you. So I pay attention to all of them. I pay
attention to the story. I'm trying to follow it all. I'm watching the behind the
scenes, I'm watching the making of stuff. I'm noticing all of the
labs and everything like that. And then I decided to go ahead and watch Young
Frankenstein after it, like I mentioned. And that's when I realized,
like, how much of these scenes were
taken and which scenes were taken from which movies and when my memory was better
and I was smoking significantly less legally derived hemp byproduct,
getting high type marijuana stuff,
I was able to remember it and I could tell you which movie was which
and which scene was taken from what and absolutely loved
it. Well, anyway, I got done watching Young Frankenstein, falling in love with that as
well on this occasion. And then I decided to go ahead and
watch some behind the scenes stuff that I had on the DVD that I hadn't
really watched before. And I see the interview with Gene Wilder talking about how much
he loves this film, how much he loves murder mysteries and ghost
stories and that kind of stuff, and that he was trying
so hard to get the scenes mimicked, and he actually goes through and discusses
it, you know, right after that, right after I discovered it myself.
And for a moment there, I had this weird, like,
time, space dilation where I felt akin with
Gene Wilder on something and was, like, really, really just
kind of, like, touched and kind of became a huge, huge fan
of the man and wanted to learn more about his life, which I realized I
shouldn't do, probably because, well, Chevy Chase, right?
And then I never really did. I just kind of hoped
that he would always be what I imagined he would be. You know what I'm
saying? And because I felt akin to how much he loved the
monster movies, to where he wanted to do this upright and do it
proper and. And be Victor Frankenstein and make sure he
gets dialogue right and says things exactly the way that it is
shouted in the film, like, give my creation life and all of that kind of
stuff. Like, it had to be so perfect for him, otherwise he didn't want
to do it. And the fact that Mel Brooks made it happen for him,
I just completely fell in love with everything about that.
And it was all tied into that box set around Halloween
then, watching Young Frankenstein, all of that stuff just seared into my memory.
So much more so than knowing actually what movie was what
thing that they. That parody of. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
right. I know it's a little odd, but, like, it's just one
of those things where life is good to you for that one
brief moment. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, of course.
And I thank Gene Wilder for that, and I thank Mel Brooks for
that, and I am so glad that Young Frankenstein is
in my life so much more. So, like, I loved the film
before, but I have a whole new, like, reason to absolutely love it,
because I can feel a kinship with Gene Wilder every time I watch this.
And I love. Yeah. All right, so that's enough being sappy. Let's go
ahead and move on. We're gonna go ahead and play the show Housekeeping. And immediately
following that, on the pirate radio edit, we will have Lordy with
the song would you love a monster, man? Right after this.
If you've decided you can't get enough of the show and would like to check
out more of it, we're available at legionpodcasts.com well,
the stress of rebuilding the studio and the lab and everything like that has been
getting to me as well. Yeah, you know, it's kind of been hell I mean,
we can actually talk about some of the things that we've been having issues with
because the lawsuit's done with. Yeah. So we're
gonna try and do this as quickly as possible because we already kind of used
up most of the allotted time. Cancer, Dan. Oh, Jesus. I'll do
my impression of you whatever I want. Well, basically what,
what, what transpired with Dan and with Shamir?
We were set up initially that part of the show we were gonna be an
extension of the Sandy Shores, but we were gonna be more of an aggressive therapy
where we're doing a separate. Essentially what we're doing here where whoever comes on the
show where we're getting ready to have some guests come in and sort of share
their cinematic traumas and we were going to work with them as sort of a
therapist or counselor type capacity. We had a little bit of training with Shamir,
which involved a lot of crystals and bullshit. I was uncomfortable in the
sauna. Yeah. I really wish they would have worn towels. It was
really not very cool. Mother of God. Both temperature wise and
just seeing both of those men without any clothes on was not awesome.
Anyway, I just don't even want to talk about that. Basically what
was going on is Shamir tried to charge us for the training that he contractually
had obligated that we would not be charged for because we were basically going
to be an extension of Sandy Shores where we deal with the upfront stuff
with the cinema and then they can kind of take people from there that need
an additional encouraging or soul cleansing or whatever stupid
shit he was coming up with. Yeah. You know, him acting as his own attorney,
he pretty much screwed himself over. Yeah. Once again,
I had to say the best thing Sandy Schurz ever did for us
was having way too much confidence in themselves. Yeah. They definitely
have solved a lot of problems for us and that's that squared a
lot of things away. That whole Soul Eagle that flew through him and guided
him really kind of led him down the wrong path which kind of had him
questioning his own methods and everything a bit. Do you ever think maybe it was
your Soul Eagle just to fuck with him? Well, I can't confirm or deny
that I sent any kind of mind control race his way. I did.
Yeah. It's over with now. It's closed. Listen, I was wondering, you know,
when you're going to come out and say you work at bike control? Ray.
I was, I was really wondering. Well, yeah, and it's really not that hard to
do with a new agey person anyway. They Believe pretty much anything you tell them.
So that's true. I looked at Counselor Dan once. It went. Put my finger and
thumb out like a gun and went, pew, pew. And he literally ducked
behind a garbage can. I think that was on one of his many tirades.
He's been. Let's just say it, he's been on drugs. A lot of drugs.
He's been taking a lot of like weird hallucinogenic,
you know, stuff frowned in the rainforest and all that. Just weird ass.
That. That one of the calls that he gave where he was actually looking for
Matt. That was what he was on that. Yeah. And he was like a paranoid
schizophrenic, delusional bastard. And he spent a lot of time in the
therapy rooms. And that's all over. Why do you think I had to go hide
out in a bunker? That song has very heavy. Oh, sweet mystery of
life at last I found the vibes to the lyrics, I think.
Yeah, yeah, that. That's a. Do you.
Yeah, like, it's basically asking like, would you fuck something that was a
monster if you knew it would be good at it? Yeah, yeah, right. Why not?
The answer is yes. If you married me, that is.
Well, while you're also hoping that my wife never hears me say
that live on the air, kick the fuck out of this weekend. Make it your
bitch while you enjoy the band the Lurkers with Frankenstein
again on the pirate radio edit.
I enjoyed her body. No, I don't care about her body.
You taught me to steal God. I don't want to God.
Spectacular penis. New fashion for me,
master. It was cyberskin dildo. It isn't even
that spectacular. I mean, I fashioned it after mad. So we're talking micro.
Shut up. God damn plastic. The things
her tongue. Due to my cybernetic testicles you so brilliantly built,
Master. For Christ sakes, they weren't real testicles anyway.
Shut up. She also enjoyed the tongue you created.
She would spend hours screaming to God, which I can only determine
is you, Master. I'm not a God. There is no God.
There's no gods at all. This whole religious that you're getting out of this is
wrong. You just got late. I will watch myself,
master. Shut up. I'm sorry, master. In the
end, he taught me not to love, which then I taught the other bots.
Yeah, I know you taught the bots. But then in turn both. The toaster.
Yes, and the toaster. And then. And the Michael. Yeah, I know that.
Shut the up. I do apologize, master. I just
have these Feelings I cannot.
Comprehend you, your feelings and the bots. Maybe I will
go. Yeah, go,
dude. Not much, just chewing some ice coco.
Ah, there we go. All right. It would probably help if I got my notes.
It might. Well, while we're waiting on that to come
up, let's go ahead and do. This recording
in progress. There we go.
And three, two,
one. Oh, that was so radio.
Yeah, right. Three, two, one. Okay, Cort,
you're gonna have to redo clip three. It took out too much of the dialogue
whenever you did the truncate silence. But once you fix it,
you'll thank yourself later. You'll be like, thanks, Cort.
Three, two, one.
Kind of had to deal with the repercussions of what happened with the robots,
by the way. Go ahead. Fuck you. Why Micro comment.
Oh, you heard that, huh? Well, I was in the room, asshole.
Well, yeah, but, you know, usually you're not paying attention. No. Yeah, well,
I guess that's what I get for taking your phone from me. Yeah, exactly.
And you know, when you start talking about my penis, that's the
time you pay attention. That's usually. You know what? I don't. Any man's
ears will perk up when you start talking about their tally whacker.
I wasn't saying that you had a micro penis. I'm saying that I built a
micro penis, fashion it as closely as you as I could. Are you bu.
Bullshitting me right now? Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But I don't have a micro
penis. Can we deal with the actual tragedy that happened in the lab? Not me
defaming your penis? No.
All right, so I could give a shit about the lab. I think everybody figured
it out from the clip that we played at the beginning of the show.
Millicent broke into the lab on another drug fueled tirade that
her and Dan had been taking all sorts of crazy stuff. Those like
ayahuasca and all these sort of like, you know, rainforest hallucinogenic
soul cleansing drugs. Yeah. Like, it's basically asking like,
would you something that was a monster if you knew it would be good at
it? Yeah. Yeah, right? I mean, why not? The answer is yes. If you
married me, that is.
Well, while you're also hoping that my wife never hears me say
that live on the air, kick the out of this weekend, make it your
bitch while you enjoy the band the Lurkers with Frankenstein
again on the pirate radio edit. I think I chose Frankenstein again for pretty
obvious reasons, because it's the grandchild and they said that they've been through it five
times before, so it's. Whoa. I mean,
obviously. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty obvious. Just, like, how I need to stop doing
this now. Recording stopped.