Lion Counseling Podcast

🎙️ Episode 51 – Stop Being the Emotional Punching Bag | Boundaries Aren’t Punishment

What if the most loving thing you could do in your marriage… is stop tolerating disrespect?
In this episode, Mark and Zack tackle a pattern we see constantly in our counseling offices: good men who love their wives, own their mistakes, work hard for their families—and still feel like the emotional punching bag years later.
Criticism doesn’t expire.
Disrespect becomes normal.
And eventually the question surfaces:

“If I want to stay… what am I supposed to do?”
This episode is not about blame.
It’s not about dominance.
It’s not about threatening divorce.
It’s about boundaries—and why they aren’t punishment.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “toxic,” “unsafe,” or “a narcissist” for simply wanting respect, this conversation will help you think clearly, respond wisely, and lead with strength without becoming cold or controlling.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why many good men feel like the emotional punching bag in their relationships
✅ How cultural messaging has confused strength with toxicity
✅ The difference between manipulation and a healthy boundary
✅ What you are (and are NOT) responsible for in marriage
✅ How to communicate boundaries without attacking or diagnosing your spouse
✅ Why boundaries often make things worse before they get better
✅ A simple script you can begin using immediately

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Click here to watch a video of this episode.’

💬 Comment Below:
Have you ever tried to set a boundary and been accused of being selfish or unloving?
What happened?

About the Lion Counseling Podcast
The Lion Counseling Podcast exists to help high-achieving men break free from anxiety, anger, burnout, trauma, and relational confusion—so they can heal deeply, lead strongly, and build a legacy that lasts.
We blend EMDR therapy, CBT psychology, marriage research, and Christian faith to give men practical tools—not vague inspiration.
New episodes drop every Tuesday.
Subscribe if you’re ready to stop surviving and start leading.

Creators and Guests

Host
Mark Odland
Founder of Lion Counseling, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist
Host
Zack Carter
Zack Carter is a Counselor and Coach with Lion Counseling LLC.

What is Lion Counseling Podcast?

The Lion Counseling Podcast helps men escape the cages that hold them back and become the Lions they were created to be. It exists to help men obtain success, purpose, happiness, and peace in their career and personal lives. The podcast is hosted by the founder of Lion Counseling, Mark Odland (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified EMDR Therapist), and Zack Carter (Counselor and Coach with Lion Counseling). In their podcasts, they address a variety of topics relevant to men, including: mental health, relationships, masculinity, faith, success, business, and self-improvement.

Mark Odland:

Welcome to the Lion Counseling Podcast, where we help men to break free, to heal deep, and to become the lions they were created to be. I am Mark Odland, licensed marriage and family therapist, certified EMDR therapist, As and always, by Zach Carr, counselor and coach. Today's topic is How Boundaries Aren't Punishment How to Stop Being the Punching Bag Without Leaving the Relationship. I keep hearing the same story in my office over and over again. Men who genuinely love their wives, men who've tried to own their mistakes, men who have genuinely tried to change, and yet years later, they're still getting criticized, jabbed, talked down to, and disrespected like the debt never expires.

Mark Odland:

And eventually these men start asking the question, If I want to stay, what am I supposed to do? Just keep taking it? To be clear, this episode is not about blaming your spouse. It's not about trying to dominate your ultimatums or walking away. It's about boundaries.

Mark Odland:

Why they're not punishment and why they're actually not unloving and how they might just be the only way to stop being that emotional punching bag without having to leave the relationship.

Zack Carter:

Dang, Mark. Thanks for starting us off, man. That's a yeah. This this has come up. Sounds like for you, for a lot of clients.

Zack Carter:

It's come up with a lot of clients for me. A lot of men are telling me this. So let's let's kick it off here. So from your perspective, why do

Mark Odland:

you think so many men describe feeling like the emotional punching bag in their relationships? Oh, what a loaded question. Right? I mean, there's so many things you could point to. I think some things are cultural in the sense that, you know, obviously we've ridden for the last, I don't know, fifty, sixty years now.

Mark Odland:

This kind of there's empowerment. Females are are are feeling empowered. They're feeling stronger. They have more options in life. Right?

Mark Odland:

And there's been, good that's come from that. But men are sometimes trying to pick up the pieces of where do I fit into this? Right? And can this empowerment that my wife is feeling, coexist with me wanting to feel respected for me wanting to have a voice? And if I have a voice, does that mean I'm some kind of, like, toxic man?

Mark Odland:

You know, the toxic masculinity term has been thrown around a lot. And my sense is that, although that might apply to some men, it's actually quite overused when describing the genuinely good guys that we tend to work with, who really are trying. And, and so I think there's some cultural forces at play where the swim doesn't you know, the fish doesn't know that it's, wet because it's always swimming in the water. Right? I think we're all a little bit like that.

Mark Odland:

I think even the Christian guys we work with can't escape it either. That's my other thought, Zach, is, there's been this kind of subtle erosion of of strength, I think, within men, even within the church. That that, again, this is a broad, you know, broad generalization, but this has maybe come up in some of our other podcasts, kinda like the Jesus John Wick podcast that we had early on when we started this thing, is some men, Christian boys, grow up wanting to please their moms, wanting to be good, nice little boys who don't cause conflict, and, who make everyone feel good. And what happens is they they never learn to have that backbone to be able to set basic standards and expectations that are in line, with their values and principles. And so they pass the baton from being the little boy trying to please mom to being the big boy trying to please their wife.

Mark Odland:

And then they're get far into the marriage, and they're like, oh my gosh. Like, what is this pattern that I'm living in now? Where it's like, no matter what I do, it seems like it's not good enough. And I don't know how to stand up for myself. So that was a long explanation, Zach, for

Zack Carter:

That's great. And then they get called a narcissist. And so then There we go. As well. We go.

Zack Carter:

And that was, as you were laying this out, I was like, oh, right. And then they're called a narcissist. And there's, like, so many of these men that come to me that, like, that are like, yeah, my wife or my wife's counselor says that they think I'm a narcissist. And maybe the wool is being pulled over my eyes. And maybe they are, and I'm just missing it.

Zack Carter:

But it's weird that if I'm having a conversation, and I don't recommend divorce. But if we were playing with the idea, so why don't you leave your wife? He's like, what about the kids? Like, this would destroy them. What narcissist says?

Zack Carter:

What about the kids? This would destroy them, you know? And so like, yeah, it's it's so tough, and and maybe there's narcissistic traits with him, but it also seems like there's narcissistic traits with the wife. And so, like, you know, this isn't a podcast about narcissism, but it it just muddies the water. Right?

Mark Odland:

It does, Zach. I I'm so glad you named that. Let's be honest. Okay. Get inside the head of a counselor or a therapist.

Mark Odland:

We see trends happen. There are psychological things that end up in the self help community and on podcasts that are trendy. And then it kind of gets absorbed into the ethos of the culture, and now all of a sudden everyone is a highly sensitive person, or everyone is a narcissist, or my spouse is this, or my spouse is that. And then all of a sudden everyone's an expert. Everyone's an expert and they can diagnose, and they're pretty sure that their spouse is the one who screwed up, and that they're in the right.

Mark Odland:

And here's the beauty, and this is your expertise, Zach, with, cognitive behavioral therapy. If I can use the cognitive distortion of labeling my spouse as a narcissist or as controlling or as manipulative or as, you know, lacking empathy, the empathy gap, that's another big one right now. Mhmm. Mhmm. Well, now I don't have to deal with you.

Mark Odland:

I don't have to deal with nuance. I don't have to deal with you as a human being worthy of dignity and respect. You're just that. Now I can talk down to you. And now I can make you feel guilty, and now I can manipulate you ironically.

Zack Carter:

Right? So, oh, yeah. Like, it's it's something. I want to add one more thing. Yeah.

Zack Carter:

Let's hear it. Recently. So, like, all the things that you just said, plus this is a traumatic response, so I have a right to act this way.

Mark Odland:

Oh, and I'm not

Zack Carter:

even saying it's not. I'm just saying that second half is what to me feels so destructive is that I'm excused because this is trauma.

Mark Odland:

Yeah, that's right. And and that's like literally my thing. I'm an EMDR trauma specialist, but I make it very clear to my clients. There might have been times in your life where you truly were victimized, if you embrace a victim mentality and tries to use that to manipulate other people, that is not okay. Like that that really is not okay.

Mark Odland:

And so we can't help what happened to us, but we can take ownership for how we deal with it, and how we treat other people. Right? And along the lines with that, Zach, you've probably heard this too. A lot of the spouses of our clients, were like, I don't know what to do because apparently everything I say makes my spouse feel quote unquote unsafe. And it used to be that unsafe meant the bully was gonna punch you in the face, and now unsafe means pretty much anything that someone says that I don't like.

Mark Odland:

It's like, I feel unsafe, so therefore for you, now you don't have the right to speak. So it's a tough setup. It's not easy these days in certain relationships. And so anyway, that's all right, here we go. Get moving.

Zack Carter:

That's a big intro. I mean, like, we haven't we haven't even gotten into what the heck boundaries are yet, but this is the problem. This is the problem that we're facing that that Mark and I are trying to to introduce. And so are we saying that the men are not at fault? No.

Zack Carter:

No. Like, a lot of times they've done a lot of stuff. A lot of times I do like me and Mark do need to say like, hey, you've got low emotional intelligence. You need to learn how to reflect with your daughter or reflect with your wife and say, sounds like you're having a rough day instead of saying, here's how I can fix your problems. Like, yes, all of that is true.

Zack Carter:

But there is some kind of problem that's happening that I've been noticing that client after client after client, it just seems like the emotional punching bag is the best way of putting it. They're just, they're just their wife or girlfriend's emotional punching bag. So, Yep. What do they do? What are you supposed to do if you're in this situation?

Zack Carter:

We're going to use the B word boundaries. So like, what the heck are boundaries? Let's let's start there. I've done some research around this, and I think my favorite explanation of boundaries is from a guy named doctor Henry Cloud. I don't Mark, are familiar with his stuff at all?

Mark Odland:

Oh, yeah. Totally okay. Yeah. Yeah. Way back when I was a fresh, intern out of grad school at a Christian counseling agency, I saw boundaries in that book.

Mark Odland:

And I like, Who are these guys? And I saw a video of them in church blowing people's minds about how yes, you actually can set a boundary as a Christian, don't have to let people walk all over you to be a like. Was kind of ironically, it kind of was cutting edge at the time.

Zack Carter:

And so yeah, they've done good work. Think still cutting edge. You already knew, like I'm just getting on the boundaries train. So Henry Cloud's explanation is, I think, been the best one that I've come across. And he said, what is a boundary?

Zack Carter:

So the best way to think about boundaries is like imagining a property line around your home. So you have your property line. Your neighbor has their property line. The neighbor on the other side has it. Across the street, they have it.

Zack Carter:

So everybody's got their own property lines. You're responsible for cutting your own lawn. You're responsible for painting your house. You're responsible for letting the HOA know if you want to do an addition or taking out your trash. That's what you're responsible is for what's on your property.

Zack Carter:

Other people are responsible for their properties. It would be very strange for a neighbor to be mad at you if they're like, dude, Zach, why haven't you mowed my lawn in the past four weeks? Like that's a very weird thing to be mad at me for. If I'm like, that's your lawn. Like that's your job.

Zack Carter:

So Henry Cloud's property line example I think is a really great way to kind of cut through all the psychobabble to understand what the heck we are actually responsible responsible for. So what are the components? We're responsible for our own emotions. Right. I got mad because you said you got you got mad because you're not in control of your emotions.

Zack Carter:

Like, let's just be honest. It's not Okay that they said that thing. But if you blow up, that's what you're responsible for. You're responsible for your behavior, right? If you are saying mean things or if you are like, I haven't been able to go to the gym because you criticize me all the time and I have no self respect.

Zack Carter:

No, that's on you, man. You need to figure out how to get to the gym. You're responsible for your own growth. You're responsible for your own spirituality. And you're responsible for setting limits so that people don't come into your property line.

Zack Carter:

You choose which people are allowed to come into that property line and which are not. Yeah. What are you not responsible for? And then I'm going throw it to you, Mark.

Mark Odland:

Sure. So what

Zack Carter:

are you not responsible for? You're not responsible for managing your spouse's emotions or your mother in law's emotions or your father's emotions or your brother's like you're not responsible for other people's emotions. They're responsible for those. That's on their property line. You're not responsible for preventing other people's anger or disappointment.

Zack Carter:

They have to own that. They have to work through that. And you aren't responsible for fixing unhealthy patterns that other people won't own. That's what we call enabling. Like if you cover up for someone in the house's drinking problem, that's not your responsibility.

Zack Carter:

There are consequences to their actions. So boundaries is not something that's if you don't do what I say, I'm going to leave you. No, that's not a healthy boundary. That's manipulation. But it is saying there's consequences to what you do.

Zack Carter:

And I'm not going to cover up for those consequences. It is about making sure that it's just physics. You can't control other people. Yes. Like that's their responsibility.

Zack Carter:

All you can control is you. And that's simply what boundaries is. Mark, you got you got some thoughts?

Mark Odland:

Yeah. I mean, you laid that out really, really well, Zach. I think sometimes people who especially the guys we work with, part of what's so difficult is in their mind, they've just kind of, like, sacrificed themselves on the altar of hard work for their family. In their mind, they're like, what are you talking about? Everything I'm doing is for my wife and for my kids and for my family.

Mark Odland:

And that's why I work so hard. That's why I do all these things. That's why I take these risks. And, so the idea of doing something for yourself, the idea of setting a boundary to ensure that something within yourself is preserved or protected or be treated with treated with respect and with care, that can be a foreign concept to some people. And no doubt, there's something very admirable about serving others.

Mark Odland:

Right? About sacrificing for others. But if you never refill the tank, if you don't take care of your body, your mind, your spirit, like you said, things we have to take responsibility for, you're not gonna be much good for anybody. And here's the thing, not only will people around you take and take and take, but it won't necessarily come with gratitude or respect. They actually might just keep taking, and you don't get any extra, like, currency or credit for all the love you've poured out.

Mark Odland:

Because they they honestly will keep, you know, enabling, keep taking. And so it's a tough place guys find themselves in to say, wow. Like, I actually could do that. I could do that without being a mean, selfish person. And and I think we're saying to these guys, yes, you can.

Mark Odland:

You can do that. And and what takes the resolve and takes, like, the spiritual strength is to have the wisdom to set the right kind of boundary with you know, in the right timing, and to do it without the feelings of guilt and fear bubbling up and overwhelming you, and then you cave. Because that can happen. That can really happen. So you have to, like, think ahead to the hypotheticals of if I do this, they might do this, and here's how I still hold the line and take responsibility for me.

Zack Carter:

Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah, Mark. Yeah. A a big thing that you you pay attention to is whatever whatever whatever you do in the situation, you have to think through what am I teaching the other person.

Zack Carter:

Interesting. So if you say, hey, when we're having a conversation and voices start to get raised, I can feel that I get anxious and I can feel myself getting frustrated and I want to speak to you in love. So if voices are raised like they have been in the past, I'm going to have to walk away for a period of time, maybe thirty minutes, to make sure I call myself, to make sure, once again, taking care of your own property. I got to call my own so that I continue to speak to you lovingly. So if that happens and you say, hey, got to step out, and then they guilt you and say, hey, you're being emotionally abusive, or you're abandoning me, or even, hey, I'm sorry, and then you stay, you've taught them, Okay, I just have to say you're being emotionally abusive and he'll stay.

Zack Carter:

Or I just have to say I'm sorry and then he stays. That's what you're teaching the other person. So you do have to make sure that whatever boundary you're setting, you're not acting on it in anger, but you are following through with it. So boundaries are not punishment. They're not withholding love.

Zack Carter:

They're not emotionally cutting off from the other person. They're not threats or power plays. What they are is clarity about what you will and what will not be able to put up with. They're about ownership. What's mine on my property?

Zack Carter:

What's yours on your property? It's about predictability, you being consistent with doing these boundaries. And then they are about consequences. So not punishment, but it is about consequences tied to behavior. Right.

Zack Carter:

So why do you think, Mark, that boundaries often get mislabeled as punishment or withholding love? What do you think that's about?

Mark Odland:

That's a that's a great question. I mean, probab my first instinct is that it's because of the emotions that arise inside the other person. And if they're not used to having boundaries set, that can be uncomfortable. And we'd like to think as grown ups, we're all mature and put together. There's that little kid part of us that comes out that can throw a tantrum, that can feel insecure.

Mark Odland:

And then by the way, through my kinda, again, trauma informed lens, most of us, even with loving parents, had some stuff. Had some stuff with our parents. Right? And so, like, maybe we had one parent who was a little more reactive. Right?

Mark Odland:

A little more angry or a little had a short fuse. And so, if if we perceive that our spouse is, like, a little bit more firm, oh, I don't like that feeling. That feels like when I was a kid. Right? Or a or a parent who withdrew, who did the silent treatment.

Mark Odland:

Right? And so something about, like, the husband doing, like, a resetting a reasonable boundary and then saying, okay, I need to take a break. I'm gonna go for a walk, and we'll come back and finish this conversation. If we can both talk about it calmly and respectfully together, that's very reasonable. I'm gonna affirm that for my guys.

Mark Odland:

Like, that is a reasonable thing to do. But on the receiving end, there might be a spouse because of their own history, their own personality. Oh, that might feel very dangerous. It might feel threatening to them. And

Zack Carter:

Yeah. Or abandoning. Abandoning.

Mark Odland:

Yeah. So back to, like, another, podcast you guys could check out if you're interested on attachment styles. I mean, that's something that's kind of a thing for us. We have, different ways that we feel loved and give and receive love, feel connected or not, and how we relate to each other. So I think, yeah, I think it's not fun to not get our way, Zach.

Mark Odland:

I mean, it's it's like for someone to call us on our stuff. Right? And and I'm not saying that guys are necessarily better at it, than women at dealing with that. But I will say, I'll I'll give a shout out to another YouTuber I've been listening to a little bit, this psychologist named Orion Teraban. He's kind of in a similar space to us.

Mark Odland:

And and he talked about how I think it was him talking about how in the men's self help space, you could boil it down to step it up guys, the problem is you. Like, you just gotta try harder, gotta work out harder, you gotta put together a plan, you gotta kill the weakness inside of you, you gotta do these things. Right? And the women's self help space is dominated by, you're not the problem. You are amazing and perfect.

Mark Odland:

Just the way you are. And if anything, the problem is that you don't believe that enough. So you have to step into more fully the deep beauty and self esteem of you being perfect as you are. And so, as a Christian, I get both sides. Right?

Mark Odland:

We're called to strive for excellence and improve ourselves and love our neighbors well and build a legacy. And God and maybe our mom loves us just the way we are. And that's true. That's grace. But when it comes to relationships, sometimes I see a collision, Zach.

Mark Odland:

Of a guy who's used to having accountability in his life and guys who can be like, come on, man. Step it up. Like, what are you doing? And then a spouse who's maybe like, there's no one in my life who holds me accountable. And now you're trying to do it?

Mark Odland:

I do not like how that feels. So, it can be a crash course for, some tough moments. So let's just say this, guys. Setting boundaries is probably worth it, but it might get a little worse before it gets better.

Zack Carter:

Oh, a 100% it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I can guarantee that. Yeah. So, like, just prep yourself for that. Well, let's talk about let's talk a little bit about so, okay.

Zack Carter:

Fine. You guys have sold me on the boundary setting. I'm willing to do it. I don't know how to do that. So how do I actually communicate to my wife or to a family member on how to set these boundaries?

Zack Carter:

First off, you don't even need to use the word boundary. Just remove that from, I need to set a boundary. That's probably not going to go well. So let's just get rid of that first. Secondly, we've talked about this a little bit in the past around Gottman, around the slow startup.

Zack Carter:

And it's talking about yourself, not the other person. And so I gave an example of that a little earlier. Hey, when voices are raised, I know I get angry. And I don't like who I become. And if that happens, I'll need to leave the conversation.

Zack Carter:

I can't do it. You're talking about yourself. This is my weakness. I know. I have a hard time with this.

Zack Carter:

You make it about yourself. This gets back to can you control the other person? No. So if you're trying to use a boundary to manipulate their behavior to control them, that's a problem. This is about you.

Zack Carter:

Hey, I don't do well when voices are raised. And my goal is to be loving. And so I have to remove myself from situations where voices are being raised. Notice I also didn't have any you statements. I didn't say when you raise your voice, I have to leave.

Zack Carter:

I didn't say that's a criticism. Sure. It's like you've got a problem. No, we're talking about the problem, not the person. Sure.

Zack Carter:

When voices are raised, we're talking about the voices being raised. We're not talking about the other person. Yeah. So that's the second thing. Lastly, and then we'll throw it to you, Mark.

Zack Carter:

Sure. We don't want to diagnose the other person. We don't want to label the other person. And we don't want to moralize. Okay?

Zack Carter:

So this is kind of getting back to it doesn't feel good when we're called narcissists. So why are we going to call the other person a narcissist or call the other person crazy or call the other person whatever label. We want to steer clear of that stuff. We want to talk about ourselves and the problem, talk about our own emotions. And then you can even add if you want to have extra credit points, you can even ask the other person to solve the problem.

Zack Carter:

So I've talked about this in the past a little bit. Hey, I can feel myself getting amped up and I don't want I don't want to. What do you think we can do to make sure we start we both start to calm ourselves down? And if it continues to get ramped up, Okay. Sorry.

Zack Carter:

I've got to leave the conversation because I'm I'm feeling I'm feeling amped up.

Mark Odland:

Yeah.

Zack Carter:

Mark, any any thoughts?

Mark Odland:

Yeah. I love that, Zach. I think and that last part about, yeah, solving the problem, he's I think guys listening right now, they're they're taking they're getting some takeaways. Right? And even if you, like, remember nothing else, remember, like, a little script, a little one liner, like, not using the you statements, using the I statements.

Mark Odland:

And, again, I think it was so wise what you said about not going into boundaries thinking you're gonna manipulate or control the other person. I might be thinking, I kind of hope it works. Like, I hope they might see something differently, but I can't bank on that. Success is I can control what I can control. I don't know if it's helpful to go into an exactly a concrete example of this that comes up, Zach, or if we're.

Mark Odland:

So, like, what I what I think of is, you know, we just got through the holidays not too long ago, Christmas. And, man, family's awesome, family's complicated. So I've got I've got many clients who are like, how do I get through Christmas at the in laws? Right? Where there's this one person, this one mother-in-law, or cousin, or sister-in-law, or whatever it is.

Mark Odland:

Right? That's just so hard to deal with. I'm gonna go crazy being in the house for this many days. So back to boundaries. What are you what are you in control of?

Mark Odland:

If you go to their house, you're choosing to put yourself in that environment. No blaming on other people. You know what your sister-in-law is like. And you're choosing to expose yourself to that. Okay?

Mark Odland:

You so question one is, are you gonna go? Question two is, how many nights are you gonna stay? That's also a choice. Question three, you know, or say you know, statement number three is, how do you cope? How do you can you go for walks?

Mark Odland:

Can you go for a drive? Can you go for a walk with a spouse to get some fresh air? Can you go work out at the gym while you're there on vacation and still get a little space? Right? There's all choice it's all choices.

Mark Odland:

And it's all actually empowerment. Right? Like, these are things you can control. These are boundaries you can set. You can be like, oh, hey.

Mark Odland:

It's great to see you. You know, honestly, I just wanna keep things a little lighter. I don't wanna talk politics right now with you. If you guys wanna keep talking, that's great. But, you know, I'm just gonna go watch the movie downstairs with the kids.

Mark Odland:

It's kinda like, hey. You can do your thing. I can't tell what you tell you what to do. But if you do this thing, if this happens, here's what I'm gonna do to take care of myself. That's the spirit of it.

Mark Odland:

Right? That's the spirit of it. And it doesn't even have to be with anger. It can be like, hey, if you're gonna do your thing, you do your thing. But here's what I've gotta do.

Mark Odland:

And it doesn't have to be cold. There can still be love and empathy kinda wrapped up in that. But at the end of the day, it's not gonna be perfect how you say it, perfect how you do it, but get the ball rolling. Start trying. Start trying it.

Mark Odland:

And think what battles are you willing to fight? You know, which battles are worth fighting? Mhmm. Yeah.

Zack Carter:

That's really good. And that is the big thing, is that, like, you know, for me, I I shy away from confrontation usually, and I've had to, like, learn how to do it. Yep. And so I definitely try to pick my battles, but you have to, like if you shy away from, you know, conflict, then this kind of podcast is for you. You need to you need to try a little bit more.

Zack Carter:

And if you're constantly fighting with people or you're like, got no problem with boundaries, okay. Maybe you're the person that he's like, back off a little bit. Like, not everything has to be a but the important things definitely do. For sure. So we won't have time today to to discuss it, but what we'll be talking about in another episode coming up here is enmeshment.

Zack Carter:

So we'll we'll dig into enmeshment and how boundaries are affected by enmeshment. So Mark's an expert around family dynamics, and so I know he would be super interested in, like, digging into enmeshment. What is enmeshment? What the heck is that? What's like, you know, psychological term is that?

Zack Carter:

And like really digging into like, hey, what is that? Maybe we'll we'll get into separation and why whether separation is biblical. Is that a healthy boundary to set? But just to review closing, what are we responsible for? We're responsible for our own emotions, our own behaviors, our own growth, setting our own limits, our own spirituality.

Zack Carter:

What we're not responsible for is managing the other person's emotions, managing the other person's actions, fixing patterns that they don't want to fix or preventing their anger or their disappointment.

Mark Odland:

That's right. That's so good, Zach. And we gave you guys a template today to put into action. If you're a super concrete thinker and you're like, man, I need specifics, more specifics. Stay tuned.

Mark Odland:

We're gonna be doing more episodes on this. We're gonna give you the top three, four, five situations we see in marriages where guys need to stand up and set boundaries in relationship. And we're gonna give you some concrete stuff, but hopefully you got some stuff to run with guys. And feel free to throw a comment down below. Please like and subscribe.

Mark Odland:

It helps us grow the channel, get the word out to more guys. We'd really appreciate it. And, stay tuned. More good stuff to come. Thanks guys.

Mark Odland:

Take care.