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Chasta welcomes her husband John to discuss saying “heck no” to the status quo and resisting the path of least resistance. They share personal stories—John asking for more chicken at Chipotle, negotiating a damaged refrigerator delivery, and their consumerism-leaning habits like wearing things out and avoiding constant upgrades. They talk about their unconventional engagement and Las Vegas wedding (Lady Gaga concert, Taco Bell Cantina rehearsal dinner, JC Penney rings, handwritten letters to family), plus parenting choices that buck norms, including limited screens and skipping extras like wipe warmers. They also touch on how automation and AI can encourage outsourcing thought, and encourage listeners to have real conversations and challenge what’s normalized.
00:00 Trophies vs Adulthood
01:02 Show Intro and Vibes
01:47 Fun Person Socks Story
04:12 What Status Quo Means
05:41 Cruise Control Society
08:02 Chipotle Chicken Stand
10:46 Customer Service and Bots
12:31 Wear It Out Mindset
14:38 Consumerism and Fridge Fight
17:13 Unconventional Engagement
20:02 Vegas Wedding Chaos
22:05 Concert Night Compromise
22:27 Wedding Vows and Letters
24:27 Mob Museum Surprise Call
26:34 Parenting Without Screens
27:57 Laissez Faire Birth Plan
30:41 Gifts and Love Languages
36:24 Photos Habits and Home Minimalism
39:15 Dining Habits and Money Values
40:29 AI and Outsourcing Thought
42:58 Final Reflections and Sign Off
Creators and Guests
What is Nobody Listens to Chasta?
What happens when someone says the things everyone else is thinking—but nobody is willing to say out loud?
Nobody Listens to Chasta is a counterculture podcast hosted by entrepreneur, speaker, and author Chasta Hamilton. With humor, candor, and unapologetic honesty, Chasta tackles the uncomfortable topics shaping modern life—from youth sports trophies and toxic achievement culture to entrepreneurship, parenting, grief, addiction, and the pressure to conform.
Drawing from her experience building Stage Door Dance Productions, founding Girls Geared for Greatness, and writing books like Trash the Trophies and Handle the Horrible, Chasta challenges systems that no longer serve us and explores better ways to live, lead, and raise the next generation.
Expect bold conversations, unconventional perspectives, and thoughtful debate designed to inspire healthier, happier, and more intentional lives.
If you've ever questioned the status quo…
you might be someone who actually listens to Chasta.
04 - Nobody Listens To Chasta
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Chasta: [00:00:00] but it goes back to this conversation of like, are we teaching in childhood, what we're expecting in adulthood? Like are we setting them up for success? You know, we talk about like the trophies and things a lot, and like how trophies are just bestowed upon children left and right.
Yeah. Well, you're not gonna get. Wet or a nice warm, wet wipe for your bottom. When you're an adult,
John: would you rather have a trophy or a warm wife?
Chasta: Probably a warm wife, if I'm being honest, but we both have to figure out how to live without either.
[00:01:00] welcome back. It is another episode of Nobody Listens to Chasta. If you are here, you have listened a little and we hope you'll stay till the end. Today we are talking about something. Super fun. Heck no to the status quo. The systems that make us miserable that maybe we don't wanna be a part of that maybe we don't wanna do better.
Chasta: Maybe we don't quite fit in. And I brought someone fun on to have this conversation today. The one, the only, my nearest and dearest husband, John,
John: love what you said about listen to people that listen to little. That's what I try to do. I listen to you a little.
Chasta: Yeah, you listen selectively. So today I'm so happy you're here.
'cause you know, sometimes we do talk serious on here.
John: Oh yeah.
Chasta: But today we're having fun.
John: I love fun.
Chasta: I do too. Tell them about your socks.
John: I do have a great pair of socks. That Chasta found me. That's a fun personal alert.
Chasta: Mm-hmm
John: You better watch out. 'cause here I come.
Chasta: Do you wanna tell them the origin of that story?[00:02:00]
The fun person. Always fun.
John: So I know of the story.
Chasta: The year was 2018.
John: Go ahead. Go for it.
Chasta: No, this is your story.
John: I know it's my story, but what I'm telling you is I think I forgot.
Chasta: You forgot.
John: Like I know that I'm the always fun person. Yes. But I forgot the origin of the story.
Chasta: Well, we had a trip planned. Yes.
John: Oh, so we had a trip planned, I believe, to the second most magical place on earth. That's Disneyland rather than Disney World, which we
Chasta: have talked about previously.
John: Yes, we've talked about that previously. And I came down with a case of I think it was the flu
Chasta: at like midnight
John: before you were supposed to leave
Chasta: at like 5:00 AM
John: Oh yeah.
That'll do it.
Chasta: And at 2:00 AM. You were like, I don't think I can go. And this was early, you know, earlier we were still learning.
John: Mm-hmm. We were not married,
Chasta: we were listening, we were learning. And I was disappointed. [00:03:00]
John: You I was lucky that when you went out to clear some steam that you came back. But one thing that I certainly learned from that situation is if you are committed to go somewhere with Chas.
To you better we're going hell or high water. You better get yourself ready to go. And the second time that happened, I did because sure enough, later in life, 2023, our whole family had the stomach bug and us,
Chasta: it was actually 2022.
John: Okay. Close enough one year away. But I got on that plane.
Chasta: Yeah. After a few days, I mean, we did have a few days in isolation.
Our whole family.
John: Yeah. I think maybe we had like 12 hours to recover, I believe.
Chasta: Well, you like a little longer
John: recovery. So a reasonable people might not have gone on with their trip if they had just had the storm.
Chasta: So here's the thing, what did I say when 2018 got canceled? I said I just wanna have fun.
John: Oh yeah.
And I think,
Chasta: and you said I'm always fun. I did not say that.
So years later, I found those fun [00:04:00] person alert socks and I said, who better to get these for?
John: Thank you? And I'm thankful every day.
Chasta: And you wear them in really fun moments, I feel like.
John: Do my best, pick my spots.
Chasta: So today we're gonna talk about. Heck no to the status quo.
John: Heck no.
Chasta: Status quo is a Latin phrase.
Did you know that?
John: I do now. I actually took Latin high school. I knew I
Chasta: did too. Yeah. You know I love the stoics.
John: Yes, my stoic wife.
Chasta: But do you know, like tell the audience what status quo means?
John: So I was actually thinking about this quite a bit before I came in here. And for me personally, the way I. I think about the status quo, and it's a, a struggle for me is what I call the path of least resistance for people.
Do you hear what I'm saying there?
Chasta: I hear what you're saying, but I feel like I go opposite of that.
John: That's right. That's why I married you because otherwise. I would just continue it. I would be absolutely lazy [00:05:00] River riding down the path of Lee Resistance. Well, it was like that
Chasta: lazy
John: river,
Chasta: this
John: beer in my hand.
And I mean,
Chasta: well, if it was like the Lazy River at the Gaylord and Ryley,
John: you would be, okay. Look, we did theme parks on a different episode. We've, we've done that. All right. What I'm telling you is. I'm so glad you said that you would be
Chasta: cruising.
John: Yes. Because you always, you take one look at the path of least resistance and you give it the cold shoulder, start marching the other way uphill in the snow.
So I think that's wonderful. I think that's why we work so well together
Chasta: up the, up the hill in snow and like flip flops or
John: something. Ridiculous. Yeah. The wrong footwear, um, perhaps you forgot to put on a jacket. Happens a lot.
Chasta: You, maybe it does not a lot
John: in the winter here. Yep. Yeah.
Chasta: Um, that is a really great comparison.
And, and how many people do you think are on cruise control?
John: So I would say that our entire society and it got absolutely fast tracked during the pandemic, and it's been fast tracking, I would say ever since the invention. Television [00:06:00] almost. This is, I, I don't need to go this far. You know, I'm conspiracy.
We're gonna get really historical. Yeah. We're gonna get crazy. But I think everything in our society is built to offer you the path of least resistance. Mm-hmm. Because that makes, you know, conspiracy theory that makes people easy to govern, that makes, um, it easy for corporations to make more money.
Chasta: Conformist,
John: conformist and status quo. I think they go hand in hand. Well,
Chasta: sometimes I'm like, maybe the cruise control would be easier.
John: Sometimes I maybe bring that up to you. Yes, it's true. Whether you see that yourself. Yeah. I don't know.
Chasta: A lot of times people will say, can you just take your foot off the gas for like a minute?
John: Not in the, like, metaphorically, because they say that to me. Literally I think you say that to me, literally, even my son who loves
Chasta: race cars. Yes. I say like, we're not at the, like, this isn't, you know, F1.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: This is TW Alexander Drive, like take it down a notch.
John: There is only like one degree of separation between W Alexander and indie [00:07:00] car racing.
All right.
Chasta: But you're right.
John: Yes,
Chasta: that is, it's true. But metaphorically. They feel like my foot is heavily on the guess
John: they I everyone. Yes.
Chasta: So I found ways to disrupt the status quo and actually that is my normal, I don't think I realized that this pace was unique,
John: frenetic pace
Chasta: until you pointed it out.
John: So he made it what, 30 some odd years into life before you realized that. Thank God I came along. Who knows where you'd be?
Chasta: So I thought that we could go through a few of the ways that we've observed, kind of bucking the trends.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: In like a game style. Let's buck. So I made a few little notes and I was just wondering like what might come to your mind first?
Oh,
John: this could be scary. Could be good.
So I already had something in mind. Okay, good. Which I, I thought that you would find funny, and I do think it's a good story for everyone that struggles with the path of least resistance, but I would say my [00:08:00] journey.
Against that path really began I think it was 2018, I'm not sure, but you and I were at a little establishment known as Chipotle. I believe many people are probably familiar with this and this establishment, by the way. Look, we don't have any sponsors, but I'm all about coming on and throwing shade at places.
But Chipotle, in college, it was like my favorite
Chasta: place to go in the world. You actually, you, you were maybe like. Chipotle, like if they had a rewarded system, you were like top status.
John: I probably was. I probably was
Chasta: even, even into like 2017. Yeah. You made Chipotle. I I've never been a Chipotle fan.
John: Yeah.
Alright. We're giving 'em enough airtime because as I said, they're going just down, down, down by the minute. Um, and in coordination with that. This particular visit, we were on Hillsborough Street down at your alma mater, NC State, and this was right before they and a whole bunch of restaurants figured out that you need to have a separate line for online orders that somebody's working on [00:09:00] back in the kitchen, in a, in a regular line for people who are coming in to eat.
And so we got in there, there was no one in line. Not a single person in line and it took us 30 minutes, maybe 20, maybe 30 minutes to get served just because they were doing the online orders.
Chasta: I was kind of enjoying it 'cause we were catching up.
John: Yeah, you love to talk. And that's what we were doing, shit chatting.
Anyway, we finally get served and I know anybody that's been Chipotle within the past five years knows what I'm talking about. They give me the tiniest little scoop of Oliver Twist chicken you have ever seen in my life. And you know, a little second pass by where I could have gone, you know, with the path to Lisa distance, I was just like, oh, thank you.
But instead I said, wow, you know, we were waiting here for 20 to 30 minutes. Could I just get a little more chicken? And you, you were
Chasta: respectful, but I was surprised.
John: You were shocked. You were like, I actually was. Whoa. Who is this man?
Chasta: Yeah, because you know, remember like when that shrimp. Appeared in your noodles and co order that time.
John: Just gonna talk about
Chasta: food. We are gonna stop [00:10:00] talking about food situation shortly. But you were, you did not wanna deal with the shrimp.
John: No.
Chasta: But you were like, why? You were like, I did not order this.
John: Okay. So you're making it sound like it was one singular shrimp. They had replaced protein. I asked for with all shrimp.
Like for some
Chasta: reason
John: I thought it, oh, there's one tiny shrimp in your bowl of noodles.
Chasta: I thought it was one
John: misplaced shrimp. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Chasta: So I misunderstood. I
John: could have handled that, I think.
Chasta: Okay.
John: I'm a big boy. Yeah.
Chasta: So, yes. And I was like, I was kind of like, wow, that caught me off guard. But I was also proud of you.
Thank you. 'cause but you were respectful, which I always believe in is trying to have like a respectful, let's find the humanity and the conversation. You actually saw me do that this week.
John: I did.
Chasta: Yes. Remember I was feeling frustrated 'cause I had already spoken to an AI bot. Robot. Oh,
John: email marketing.
Chasta: Yes.
And
John: you think you were calm and respectful the whole time?
Chasta: I started,
John: I started out that.
Chasta: And then I told, I even explained that I felt like we were losing [00:11:00] communications.
John: You're correct. I was just wondering for this troubleshooting situation, it was with our email marketing platform Who, who brought it home on that situation?
Who'd you pass the phone off to?
Chasta: You saved me from myself on that, but
John: I was, I saved you. I saved Cecilia. I saved, um, I can't remember. I think Tanya was another person. Shout out all of our email marketing people, everybody. And
Default_2026-04-23_3: I
Chasta: always got, and I like to say to them, I know this isn't like, you don't have control over this.
John: You are really
Chasta: good about that. That, and I always try to say that like, I'm not upset at you, but I'm having a hard time feeling supported.
John: Yeah,
Chasta: and I think so often, especially as things are more and more automated, that standards, maybe there's become like a normalization of being okay with things being less than
John: if you think about customer service from 2020 onwards and what, in terms of like status quo and, and what's accepted.
Like, I
Chasta: can't have this conversation with a bot, and [00:12:00] then I'm gonna ask the bot for an email and they're gonna tell me they don't give out emails. Well then don't have your bot turned on if like,
John: alright, we're, we're gonna do a, an AI episode is definitely coming.
Chasta: Yes. But more fun things of, do you have any other ideas?
So that actually wasn't the direction that I thought you were gonna go.
John: Love that. Keep me on your toes.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: All right. Then you fire back at me. You give me one. Okay. Maybe I'll bring more.
Chasta: So you actually mentioned this earlier when you were talking about footwear. Snow.
John: Oh,
Chasta: and I, so I feel like our brains were on two kind of different planes in this conversation.
You were kind of thinking path of least resistance, and I was kind of thinking like, what do we do that's just quirky and strange?
John: Oh. Or
Chasta: maybe on.
John: Well, there you go, because you're always moving away from the status quo. Yes. So you weren't even thinking about the status quo.
Chasta: So I wanted us to talk about, you may say I do this more than you do, but we really like to wear things out.
I'm thinking about your slippers, for example. Oh, that you were to the office last year [00:13:00] and how you would wear those in the snow. But then it was the slippers and then it was the Crocs. And you might say, for me, maybe my technology.
John: Mm-hmm. Maybe dog beds.
Chasta: That's the dog beds.
John: Mm-hmm.
Chasta: Tell them about the dog bed.
John: Alright. Well, um. You know, status quo. I'm still not sure how this connects to it. Your mind always goes in a weird place, but we, when I, um, first began a wonderful journey of dating Chasta, she, um, had a particular dog bed that was stuffed. Dog bed, so
Chasta: soft and plush.
John: And the dogs had gotten in to the stuffing, ripped, ripped off the outer coat, and they would take it out.
And instead of getting a new dog bed, Shasta would just every day come back and stuff. The stuffing back in.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: And it was kind of a vicious cycle, I thought. And so one day I just ordered a new one and she
Chasta: was like, I thought we were all just having fun.
John: How? How could you have done this? Why? [00:14:00] Where's the other one?
I'm like, first of all, the other one barely exists anymore. It's not up to code in terms of if the American Kennel Association were to come in and look at this bed, it would not be appropriate for these poor, poor pups. So,
Chasta: so that was fun. And it also, I felt that was really, I mean, I was like, why did you do this?
Because I'm a creature of habit, which is another thing on my list, but I was also very sweet of you.
John: Thank you.
Chasta: But I think when you're, when you're thinking of like, what does that have to do with the status quo? Well, we are taught from a materialistic perspective that we need to buy and buy and buy and buy.
John: Oh yeah.
Chasta: Consumerism. You go consumerism. And I feel like that is something that we're very aligned on
John: against it.
Chasta: Yeah. Like we just, like, we think about our home furnishings.
John: So you're saying we're cheap?
Chasta: I'm not saying we're cheap. I'm saying we'll get like something quality or you know, like you'll be like, oh, like remember when we were looking at those coffee machines at Sir La Top?
John: I do.
Chasta: And, and I was bou and I was like, [00:15:00] what's wrong with our $30
John: Mr. Coffee ended? Oh, maybe it's $30 now. Mr. Coffee. Yeah. Inflation. There it is.
Chasta: And then when it starts erupting, like every four months, you know, we just get a new one.
John: So we are like purchasing more instead of purchasing something better. But here's the thing, consumerism, I think they're making it all to break anyway now.
So even if you do buy the more expensive one, I still think they want it to break.
Chasta: And while we're on this topic. We recently tag teamed a situation that I think blends the Chipotle story with the consumerism piece. Do you know what I'm talking about?
John: I think I do. And that definitely has to do with the path of least resistance and not taking it the Costco refrigerator.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: But we did, like, we were up at Friday night, like kinda like going after what we wanted. That's so weird. I mean, we did give a little, but they wanted us to take the path of least resistance.
John: That's true. We ordered a new fridge and, [00:16:00] um, you know, the wonderful delivery people brought it in the house and they dinged up the door.
It's a stainless steel door, pretty bad. He was awesome guy. He noted it immediately. He said that they were gonna bring a replacement. Did not end up being quite that easy. So we spent quite a bit of time negotiating on chat. Yep. And we eventually got where we wanted, but I think a lot of, like you said, a lot of people would just stop.
It would, it would just be easier to just take it and, but yeah.
Chasta: But we did it together.
John: We did it together. We beat the,
Chasta: because you were like, I don't really wanna do this, but I was like, I was like fired up for some reason that Friday night and I was like, I will.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: But I was like, just help me. And you did.
You were cheering me on and then we danced around the kitchen. We like celebrated
John: after. After. Yeah. We got our money, we got, yeah. It's good times.
Chasta: Ew. I think we were playing another one. Bites the dust.
John: That actually is what we were playing.
Chasta: Yeah. Yeah. We were having a good time. All right. Other topics?
Other, some, what else is something that comes to mind [00:17:00] about heck no to the status quo.
John: I would be remiss if I did not mention how we got married.
Chasta: Oh yeah. Well, I think we should take it to the engagement
John: first. Oh, that would be definitely not
Chasta: proposals are so high pressure.
John: Yeah, I was gonna say it was anything but the hired photographer, hidden in the bushes, champagne blanket, waiting behind the scenes.
It was. It was like a,
Chasta: it was not the Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey
Default_2026-04-23_3: proposal.
John: No. It was like we were at a, a business meeting or something, almost talking through scenarios.
Chasta: We were
John: at willows,
Chasta: the U-N-C-S-A Festival Dance Weekends Sale. Mm-hmm. We went out to dinner to Willows at Wake for, you know. Mm-hmm. A place you had really enjoyed in college.
John: Yep. And
Chasta: we were just sitting there casually.
John: Yeah, because casual for Chasta is like, what are we, you know, what is our long-term plan? Is that what
Default_2026-04-23_3: I
Chasta: said?
John: I'm just like, I've got my crab cake sandwich, like halfway down my gullet and reach for my beer. Um, that's more or less what you [00:18:00] said.
Chasta: And you just said, let's get married.
John: I, I, we talked about. You know what could happen and somehow we already had a planned trip to Las Vegas.
Chasta: Well, no. So well we did. 'cause
John: you
Chasta: got tickets for me to see Lady Gaga for my birthday that coming. This was February. We had this conversation. We were going to Vegas in January or June and I have to say.
That I had learned because of the curtains previously. Remember,
John: I didn't know we were gonna talk about the curtains,
Chasta: the blackout curtains, not the gold curtains. Okay, so the, so you were like, this room would be really nice if it had some blackout curtains
John: at our old house. It was, you know, if you're from the triangle, it was right off weight Avenue.
So there's headlights at all times. Um, I may have mentioned, as I will never mention anything in passing again, that it would be cool if we had some blackout curtains and
Chasta: so I got up the next day and I went out and I bought them, but I didn't know how to install them. So I tried and it was a disaster because I really shouldn't be using a drill without some more [00:19:00] teaching.
Like I need to learn. And, but
John: looking back, you know, that is romantic that you listened to me. I did. And wanted to make that change.
Chasta: And then you gave me a really good lesson when you said, please don't take anything I say the first time that seriously, because you were like, sometimes I just say stuff.
And I was like, okay. And
John: I still do.
Chasta: So when we were at Willows and you just said that, I was like, okay, I, I am. It's the first time, like I'm not gonna take this seriously. Um, but I'm gonna plan everything out just in case it comes up again. Oh,
John: it was planned. All right. Yeah.
Chasta: So, you know, I was just like, okay, back pocket, continue on.
And then we made it through the benefit show season, right, which was in March that year. And then you're like, yeah, let's just do it. And I was like, okay, well here's the plan.
John: What was the timeline? So it was February, right? When we were at
Chasta: Winston, we were, it was end of February. We were Willows. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
John: And then we were in Vegas in June.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Mm-hmm.
Chasta: And we actually went to Vegas. I mean, no one knew.
John: They knew we were there.
Chasta: You told Elvis.
John: Oh, that we were [00:20:00] getting married. Yes. I told our dog true story. He kept the secret good on him,
Chasta: but we actually didn't have half of our supplies. 'cause the spring is very busy in the world of dance studios, right?
Yeah. We've got recitals, we've got, and we actually lost power. The recital that year. You were at the YMCA for a training, like it was a, you know, a very comical series of events. But when we left we didn't even have like rings. Do you remember?
John: I remember
Chasta: you didn't quite have a full outfit either.
John: I remember that as well.
Chasta: Um,
John: but the thoughts were there and,
Chasta: and we were like, we'll have time to go shopping when we get there. Yeah. And we did.
John: JC penny rings.
Chasta: Yes.
John: I hate that. I don't have my, I have my athletic ring on today, but, um, that Las Vegas, JC Penney hope's still there, still thriving. I think we can take 'em back at any time and get 'em serviced for
Chasta: free if they're still JC.
Penny to go to.
John: I've seen them. They're come on.
Chasta: But you know, and we got there and it was kind of [00:21:00] like, you were kinda like, is this the vibe?
John: You mean having a full on nervous breakdown? Yeah, that is what I was doing.
Chasta: But then we went to see Lady Gaga.
John: Yeah, we did
Chasta: In the Pit, which may be our last in the pit concert ever.
Her
John: there there may come a time, you know, like, I don't know what the age limit is, where it's like, you know, maybe that's my last concert in the pit. But, um, it was an experience, but getting to see her that close was, it was amazing. Pretty unbelievable.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: And then our ceremony was the next day.
John: It was. Mm-hmm. I believe we had a rehearsal dinner at the Taco Bell. Cantina.
Chasta: Cantina,
John: yeah.
Chasta: Yeah. After the Lady Gaga concert.
John: How status quo is that? Not varying.
Chasta: I had a bean burrito. Yeah, that's really bold. For the night before your wedding.
John: I think I had a cherry icy and it was, um,
Chasta: it was lovely. I mean, it was almost midnight that we had dinner. I
John: mean, I pat well,
Chasta: was because we, well, because we had to get there and stand forever before the concert [00:22:00] started.
John: And
Chasta: then I think we kind of had a back and forth of like, I kinda wanted to go to a sit down restaurant, and you were like, no, it's way too late.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: I was freaking out and we compromised on the Cantina
John: it. They had seats.
Chasta: They did. Then the next day came, the wedding happened. It was great. I loved it. I really did. Oh, we wrote our own vows.
John: We did.
Chasta: And we brought a legal pad of paper with us. Remember, remember? Because that was back when I really loved putting everything on a legal pad.
I still do when I have one.
John: Yeah, you still do that. I
Chasta: like to tote them around. And then after everything, we sat down and we wrote letters to send to our families, to our immediate family. Mm-hmm. To overnight.
John: Yep.
Chasta: Um, are you gonna, were you gonna say something about that?
John: Oh I mean, I guess I was just gonna say.
There's not, you know, one moment that I regret mm-hmm. The choice that we made. Right? Like, I [00:23:00] love my family, I love my friends, and while so many people choose to have that kind of a wedding where you are inviting all these people and you got all these plans, like that's what worked for us.
as a kid into an early teen, before I reached a period of time where I didn't think I ever wanted to get married.
John: I'd always kind of envision like, what? Like that's really between two people. How do you really make it that special? And it really did feel, I mean there's a really blurry video [00:24:00] from the the photography and video crew who ended up firing the video guy, bless his heart. So all of our services were free and there's amazing photos 'cause that's what they were really good at.
Yeah. Was the photography. And we still have, I mean we still have the video, it's just a little out of focus at times and I'm just like, absolutely sobbing. Yeah. Um. Yeah, it's something that I'll always remember and if you told me I don't even like three or four years before we did that, that I was gonna do that, I wouldn't believe you.
Chasta: It was, it was like, it was so great.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: I really loved it. And I keep saying like, we should do a vow renewal or something.
John: You just loved trips. You're just looking for any excuse for more trips.
Chasta: Um. But no, it was great. And you know, there was a little bit of a funny thing because we were at the Mob Museum.
John: Oh
Chasta: yeah. Do you remember We Love Me or You Love Me? Museum. I
John: who loves
Chasta: museums.
John: They're, I love them. I mean, they're, they're growing on me because of you. I love the museum and I definitely like the Mob Museum. Um, [00:25:00] except there was an interesting phone call that we received.
Chasta: So I'm always looking for like, things to do, places, you know.
Foot on the gas and you sometimes you'll ta most, I would say, a lot of the times you tag along. Sometimes you'll be like, I have to take a nap. Which I've learned to respect and that's great.
John: Or just decompress.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Time alone.
Chasta: But you're, you're like, yeah, go do your thing. Like, I don't have to like sit around while you,
John: now you have Sebastian.
Yes. You know he's never tapping out. No, he is not. He's he's foot on the gas too.
Chasta: He's going, he's his foot is on the gas harder than my foot is on the gas.
John: Horrifying.
Chasta: we got a call from? Grammy,
John: your grandma. So as Chasta said, we had written. Legal pad letters to all our families. And we thought we had
Chasta: stood them strategically, overnighted them,
John: you know, in ways where they
Chasta: would arrive in this.
John: They would arrive the order want, right order. Yeah. But the first person to get it was my grandmother. Shout out Grammy, if you're listening. And she was so happy, but she actually got to spill the beans to my parents before they'd gotten their [00:26:00] letters.
Chasta: Yep.
John: So, you know, it's just a good, um,
Chasta: it was an, it was so analog.
Yeah. Which is I think something that's so, not the status quo right now.
John: No. Could have just dropped that texts up. Got married, see y'all soon. Hard emoji. But those legal pad letters that,
Chasta: and we knew we had this little like window.
John: Mm-hmm.
Chasta: Because it was like a weekend. We were coming home Tuesday, say we had the business day.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: To make it happen. So, yeah, I really love that. And I, that's, I always say like, whatever a person feels is going to represent their relationship, their comfort. Um, weddings for me are obviously, you know, harder without my parents and so many lost family members. Um, so everybody has a circumstance.
John: Yeah.
I, another one that I was thinking about, um, you know. Our wedding is very, very special, but so is our child.
Chasta: Oh, I was, this is on my list.
John: This is on your list too,
Chasta: [00:27:00] maybe, depending on where you're going with it.
John: And so I would say there are so many things from the time he came out the Mbba until now, you know, with a beautiful 5-year-old.
We do, whether it be activities, travel, um, you know, no iPad, all sorts of things that we're doing with him.
Chasta: Oh yeah. That's,
John: that are definitely not the norm. Mm-hmm. In terms of parenting. And he knows it. And he is weird. He's his age. He is noticing and he's like, whoa, wait a minute guys, where is my iPad? Um, you know, where are my video games?
We do play a little Mario kart hand-eye coordination. Come on, here we go.
Chasta: I mean, starts like, that
John: was another one that was really on my mind.
Chasta: Like if we walk on a plane and it has like TVs on the backseat, he thinks that's like such a novelty that he like almost started shrieking the last time we walked onto a plane with the excitement.
Because I always say like, if you win the lottery and it's there Yeah. You, you can watch it.
John: Like the problems that we've come across it, like if you walk into an Olive [00:28:00] Garden or Texas Red House, they,
Chasta: the
John: tablet. Tablet sitting there,
Chasta: I on the
John: table like, no.
Chasta: I mean at 1.1 of us was going to the table to hide the tablet.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: Before we all sat down. Yeah. , I actually was singing a little bit before. That to the birth plan or lack thereof?
John: The birth plan?
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Go on.
Chasta: Well, you know, some people have like a very detailed birth plan. Oh, and this was like an anomaly for me. I don't know if it was because it was the pandemic and I was just fatigued or.
But I feel like the actual process of like giving birth, I was kind of just like laissez-faire about
John: Yeah. That is just you over here. We were not feeling that way. We were freaking out. As I think the status quo is to freak out when, um, you mother of your children, um, is about to produce your son.
That's what I, I was freaking out big time.
Chasta: No, but we didn't have like lists or like bags packed months ahead. Like, I think you were even like, are you [00:29:00] gonna pack a bag or, and
John: then we, yeah. 'cause you're the planner. So I was trying to ask you and
Chasta: I, I know, and I wasn't like, I just, for whatever reason, I was just like, every people have been doing this for years without all of this information.
Like, the information on having a child felt a little overwhelming to me.
John: Ah. Heard that.
Chasta: So maybe I was almost like bucking the norm by not giving into it.
John: Mm-hmm.
Chasta: Like, I remember signing up for one site and like I read like three chat boards and I was just like, this is not a good use of my time or energy.
John: What kind of site was it?
Chasta: I, I can't remember. It was like for people that are expecting
John: what to expect when you're expecting. Yeah. That kind. Yeah.
Chasta: But you know, and that's where they would get into like. Warming the wipes.
John: Oh yeah. We never did wipe warmers.
Chasta: Yeah. And I'm, and like, fine if you want to, poor bash, but I was like, his poor
John: bum never experienced the luxury of a 78 degree, 90 degree
Chasta: white.
But we [00:30:00] don't, we don't do that either as adults as. It almost
John: speak for yourself,
Chasta: but it goes back to this conversation of like, are we teaching in childhood, what we're expecting in adulthood? Like are we setting them up for success? You know, we talk about like the trophies and things a lot, and like how trophies are just bestowed upon children left and right.
Yeah. Well, you're not gonna get. Wet or a nice warm, wet wipe for your bottom. When you're an adult,
John: would you rather have a trophy or a warm wife?
Chasta: Probably a warm wife, if I'm being honest, but we both have to figure out how to live without either.
John: That's true,
Chasta: but it just, I, I was feeling stressed from the amount of information on there.
John: Yeah. Alright. What else you got? What else, what else? Um, that people, you know, our listeners or lack thereof, those that are not listening to Chasta, what they might, what might they might catch their ear?
Chasta: I was thinking gif
John: gifs,
Chasta: not gifs, but
John: gif.
Chasta: Gif gifts.
John: Gotcha. [00:31:00]
Chasta: Presence,
John: presence.
Chasta: Things wrapped up with a bow.
John: We know someone that really likes present.
Chasta: I'm trying to teach him how to not, our child loves gifts. He loves things
John: he wants, like he wants, help everybody else open their gifts.
Chasta: Yeah. You know, I, but you know what, I, I did that as a child.
John: Oh, I bet you did. That's where he gets it from. Little demon. Oh my goodness.
Chasta: But yeah, I just like, you're always like, do you want something? I always say like, I want world peace.
John: Yeah. Chasta is a hard person to gift for. So, um, her last two major gifts that I've given her are the same exact Kate Spade purse. Okay. That I had to look the second time. First time it was easy. It was like, oh man, this is a great purse.
I love the print. That was 2021, A normal retail store. I think it was like Macy's or something. So I buy it for her and she loves it. Great. Right? Wrong. [00:32:00] It's the only purse she ever wants to use for the rest of her life.
Chasta: Then remember the, that I use the safety, the safety pen
John: for a little bit of time. Oh my gosh.
The way that this purse has been MacGyver and resurrected, despite the things that have happened to it. So I, I literally tracked down on eBay, the exact same purse.
Chasta: New with tags.
John: New with tags. And you still haven't used it
Chasta: because I still have to get the new wallet,
John: see,
Chasta: creature of habit that was on the list.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: But it is just this idea of like, I don't know, you taught me that there's this concept of the love language. Right.
John: I think I was poo-pooing a certain book about it. And you, it did pique your
Chasta: interest. It didn't change me because I had a, I hadn't heard of this concept at the time. Yeah. But some, for some people that is gifts,
John: acts of service.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: Gifts, words of affirmation. And I think physical touch or so of those are like, it's like, wow, there's only four. Hmm.
Chasta: You know, other people's, not, Donna's not an expert on this.
John: Well, no, I'm [00:33:00] not. She's, she's correct.
Chasta: But yeah, I just, it's never been like gifts for me. Like I'd rather do something or talk about something or
John: you love it and experience.
Chasta: Yep. I love an experience
John: that's quality time. The one you didn't know. Quality time. Thank you to our producer, Joe. I am not an expert. There is a fifth, the one that my wife likes. Oh yeah. Good job, John.
Chasta: That's it. Well, because you poo pooh all the others, so at least. You weren't pooing the one that I love,
John: there was a lot of poo p in our house.
I don't know what to tell you.
Chasta: No warm wipes.
John: No warm wipes, but a lot of poo poo. Um,
Chasta: I'm not going into that story. I just can't, but it does have to do with rings.
John: Oh, no. Let's just keep it moving.
Chasta: I just feel like we have kind of come to this like understanding of like maybe we'll do gifts or maybe we won't, or maybe we'll do a trip or concert tickets or,
John: yeah. I love when I can buy you like a, a show you love Broadway [00:34:00] shows, like a lot of time we go to to New York during your birthday time if I can buy you some tickets to a show, that's a great experience.
Concerts we do love as well. We do. Mm-hmm.
Chasta: And, and I'll say like, you've also taught me something about when you have like a really amazing moment, like sometimes you just can't duplicate it. Yeah, but I was actually thinking the flip side of that this morning in the shower. Okay. 'cause you have taught me that and I do believe it and it has, you know, I used to like to sometimes see shows multiple times, but it's like if you see it and it's really good, maybe going back's not gonna match that like first incredible experience.
So just leave the memory as it is. Yeah. But we have had some interesting dialogue about. You for whatever reason, do like to rewatch TV shows, films. Yeah.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: But that's contrary to what you've taught me about seeing a show.
John: It is true. So my mom taught me from a young age shout out mom, Kim Millsaps love you that [00:35:00] rereading books.
Was like actually like a, a sign of intelligence or something. And I guess I took that and made it my own. I don't think it's quite the same if you're watching a TV show or a movie that you love so much. I don't think it's a sign of intelligence per se, to watch Christmas vacation 17 times in December.
But that is, you're right, that's what I do. And I, I think it's like. Nostalgia more than anything. I, and I think that's a little different than if you go, like, we saw Jonathan Groff and Just In Time. Right, right. Mm-hmm. Like if you,
Chasta: or like when we saw Hades Town
John: or we saw the original most, most of the original Broadway cast of Hayestown.
Yeah. Or it was that, I think
Chasta: it was pretty original. Yeah. So
John: that's different than like, Hey, I really love when, um, cousin Eddie comes over and they're like. So, you know, that's more like my feelings toward a specific season verse a one-off. Holy cow. That was one of the greatest things we've ever seen.
Chasta: Yeah, I mean, that does make sense. But sometimes I have to wonder if [00:36:00] you just don't wanna sit in the theater for two and a half hours.
John: Oh, no, no, no, no. Of course not. That's not why.
Chasta: So, yeah, why? Those are just things that I was thinking about. Um, so what else? One other thing I was thinking about is that, is it is pretty status quo.
Are these, and I mean obviously we've already talked about our household hold furnishings or like somewhat locked out furniture shopping is complicated.
Default_2026-04-23_3: Yeah.
Chasta: And we know we tried.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: It's not like we didn't give it a good shot,
John: but hey, the less stuff we had in our house, the less stuff that our rough and tumble buddy could break
Chasta: Plenty of space to dance.
John: Yeah. Plenty of space to race cars. Yeah. And build train tracks and just throw his body at things. Yeah.
Chasta: But similarly, we also don't have many things on the wall.
John: Oh.
Chasta: And we also don't really take. I mean, sometimes we do, but we don't take these like orchestrated family photos.
John: Yeah. [00:37:00] That is a big status quo right now, isn't it?
Mm-hmm. The like scheduled photographer. Yeah. Maybe if you're in Raleigh, you go to Fletcher Fletcher Parklet Park. Yeah. Or you go to the art museum
Chasta: Hill and Head.
John: We did it once. With Ion.
Chasta: We did. And Bash was like two weeks old. Yeah. Because he was moving and I was like, we have to do this.
John: Yeah. We still have those pictures.
Very sweet.
Chasta: We do. Yeah. Um, like I take pictures a lot for business.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: And I'm like, we have. Thousands of photos on our devices just from like living life day to day.
John: Yeah,
Chasta: but we don't,
John: no bash takes 'em too,
Chasta: but we don't really do the pose.
John: No. It's usually like in the middle of a Rockefeller Center with 50,000 other people.
Me with my little selfie arm up. That's kind of the way we roll.
Chasta: But I don't feel like we have lost memories by not having these formal. Pictures.
John: Yeah. Or like at my house where we have all the portraits. Yeah. The like Sam Gray portraits of the children, which [00:38:00] should we have done that for Bash,
Default_2026-04-23_3: which
Chasta: is very, which I mean that is very trendy,
John: but no bare feet and like a cable sweater and
Chasta: the nice stool.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: Um, but that was another thing that I was thinking about.
John: Yeah, that's definitely huge right now. And think it,
Default_2026-04-23_3: I
Chasta: think it's always been huge.
John: Think it's always been huge, but I think it became bigger with social media. Like Pandemic area. Pandemic era, and even before that, just with social media. Yeah.
Chasta: Lemme just think about, you used to go to JC Penney and do it.
John: Know, I think for a while you still could, like they were promoting that You could still do that. You
Chasta: actually still can At the one, at the one at South Point.
John: There you go.
Chasta: So maybe that's, that's what
John: we do. We're plugging too many brands today.
We need to stop this before until we get sponsors.
Chasta: All right. Well,
John: too much free airtime.
Chasta: So what I'm hearing is a lot of the ways, as we say heck no to the status quo, oh, we're creatures of habit.
John: That's the truth. What are you gonna do?
Chasta: We may go to the same place three days in a row just 'cause we like it.
John: Yeah. [00:39:00] And order the same exact thing
Chasta: and order the same exact thing.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: Oh, we also don't really do elevated dining.
John: No, I've never been interested in that. I ain't, I'm pretty, you know, I ain't never been here.
Chasta: Oh my gosh. But
John: if that is that, I mean, I have watched the bear. You know.
Chasta: Okay.
John: I get, I could see maybe where people are coming from.
Chasta: It's a curiosity,
John: but I think, as you said at the beginning of me being cheap. Yeah. Which I don't know if I'm necessarily cheap.
Chasta: I think you're strategic, but
John: my, the way I value where my money goes, money, time. It would be hard for me to see that much money go out the
Chasta: door. What it taste? Does it taste that much better?
John: We'd have to bring someone else on. Yes. Because neither of us know we'd have to bring on someone that does that kind of thing.
Chasta: Yeah. And have like a tasting.
John: Oh,
Chasta: that could be fun.
John: There you go. Now we're really thinking of ideas,
Chasta: but you know, like I said, I don't feel like it diminishes like the fun we have.
John: I guess we wouldn't know because we've never done [00:40:00]
Chasta: Yeah. Maybe we are missing out.
John: We're missing out big
Chasta: time on these like 18 course Mitchell and Meals, which, you know, that is named after the tires because they designed it to, they wanted people to get in the car and drive and hit all these spots.
John: Hit all the spots.
Chasta: Mm-hmm. So I really do think this heck no to the status quo concept is just like doing what works.
John: Yeah. Um, as I said from the very beginning, if you can, you will see the path of least resistance first, but if you can just kinda like stop. Mm-hmm. And take a minute. And I mean
Chasta: that could even be like chat GPT right now.
John: Oh, big time.
Chasta: Skip it.
John: Everybody is now I'm the first person to ask Google. I I, you know, I used to, I used to a, I still ask IMDB, right? 'cause I love movies and tv. Mm-hmm. TV shows, but I'm not, I'm trying as hard as I can not to use chat GBT
Chasta: And through the business we've actually learned just how much [00:41:00] people are using it.
Because people are jumping Google now. Yeah. And going to a different. Ai AI platforms.
John: Definitely. And the second you hear, you know, that CEO talking about how he is gonna commodify intelligence. Mm-hmm. In the future it's called, that ought to scare you. The
Chasta: phrase is third party thought.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: So the path of least resistance may feel like outsourcing thought.
That's what we have to protect first and foremost.
John: Yeah.
Chasta: I know that went a little deeper than
John: where we were, man, what a scary way to try to end things. I, we didn't have to bring AI into this,
Chasta: you know? I just think it's important. 'cause when you say path of least resistance, and when I think of like, what
John: that, is it
Chasta: what the landscape is right now?
John: Yeah.
Chasta: That is the number one. And like, what is it, like what is the data being harvested, stored, ultimately used for? And I'm not saying like AI is not a tool that can be. You know, they can work alongside society, but I think we have to be knowledgeable and informed and careful about how we use it.
John: Wow.
Thank you so much for [00:42:00] your thoughtful, brave, insightful podcast. Chasta. Here are five ways that I think that you can improve it for next time.
Chasta: Is that what the AI would say? That's
John: what I would say.
Chasta: Yeah.
John: At least I think I
Chasta: may not. It may say I was totally wrong about everything I just said about it.
John: It's never said that it only like affirms and, um, you know, tries to, it's an
Chasta: echo chamber.
John: Kiss your booty. Yeah,
Chasta: it is an echo chamber. Yeah. So that's, so that is a path of least resistance. 'cause one, you're not gonna get any pushback. You're gonna hear what you wanna hear and it's gonna make you not use your brain. Yeah. In certain ways. Right. So have that spirited conversation. Yeah. With a friend.
John: Ask for more chicken at Chipotle.
Chasta: Yeah. Sometimes you don't wanna have the spirited conversations.
John: No, I don't
Chasta: like the stroller derby. We can save that for another time. That's
John: another time.
Chasta: Yep. But today's been great. I appreciate you coming on. Thanks for having me. I appreciate you saying heck no to the status quo with me on a daily basis, or at least offering a challenging viewpoint or perspective.
If we disagree,
John: let's keep it going.
Chasta: If [00:43:00] you've listened this long, I hope that you think of ways that you can say heck no to the status quo in your everyday life. You can do it even if it's not normalized and it will pay off tenfold. So follow us, subscribe, keep listening. We appreciate you for staying. We love our listeners that stay, and we look forward to seeing you next time on.
Nobody Listens to Chasta.