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A podcast for women doing a lot and craving more soul alignment β motherhood, business, healing, relationships, growth β trying to do it without running themselves into the ground.
We talk about:
* intuition & energy
* nervous system regulation
* trauma healing
* self-compassion
* emotional processing
* entrepreneurship
* motherhood
* creating routines that actually support you
* staying connected to yourself while juggling real life
This is about learning how to feel energized, grounded, cared for, emotionally honest, and fully alive.
Your soul called - are you ready to answer?
Welcome to Your Soul Called. A podcast for those feeling like there's something more. More alignment, more purpose, more peace, more connection, more joy. I'm Nicole your host. Each week we explore the invisible things that shape our lives, our intuition, our energy, our emotions and the lessons we came here to learn.
Nicole:Through personal stories, meaningful conversations and practical tools my hope is that every episode helps you trust yourself a little bit more, love yourself a little deeper and remember something your soul has always known. So without further ado let's dive in! Hi everyone welcome to episode 14 what to do when life feels like too much there are days weeks sometimes months when life feels hard I've been going through a time like that lately and so I wanted to share a little bit about what I've been going through and how it's been for me. I'm talking about those times when you feel like you got hit from behind with a baseball bat you didn't even see coming and then just as you're getting back up you get hit again and again. Sometimes it's days that are like this sometimes it's weeks and sometimes it's months and sometimes you have entire eras of your life that feel hard that feel like you just can't catch a break and I think we all have these kinds of moments and lately the question I've been asking myself as I'm going through it is like it's not so much how do I make it stop or how do I fix this or why is this happening to me the question I've been asking myself is how am I responding to this well while I'm in it?
Nicole:Am I supporting myself through the hard moments or am I making them even harder by beating myself up for not handling better for not knowing better, for being scared, for being overwhelmed, for not having it all figured out. Because as I mentioned in previous episodes, we're in this process right now of building a house and it's been hard. It's supposed to be this exciting super fun experience. It's our dream house. We designed it from scratch and nothing about this experience has been easy.
Nicole:It's been really like one thing after another like our architect like we had to fire him it was long story he was just overcharging us. Anyway, we ended up finding a drafts person to do it that was much cheaper. That worked with us better. That was after we had lost $85,000 Then the interest rates went up, and then the building costs went up because of tariffs. All of this stuff happened and now we're in this place of needing a significant amount of money just to cover what we're already committed to.
Nicole:Honestly, like this whole situation that was supposed to be so fun like you see on the home improvement shows when it's like, oh, pick out your tile and choose your flooring. Like it's been none of that. It's just been stressful and like scary, really scary. And it's made me question everything that I thought about myself and my relationship with money. I have never felt this kind of panic and fear and anxiety and stress and in a capacity that I didn't even know was possible and Through it all lately I've been asking is all of this fear necessary?
Nicole:Is what I'm telling myself actually true? Is it helpful? I'm not in a place where I can fuck around right now. If this isn't serving me, I want nothing to do with it. So I've been questioning it like the thoughts, the feelings, all of it.
Nicole:Like, why am I feeling such panic? Is this helpful? Is this going to actually get me into the house or is it going to stop me? Then, last week we get hit by a hurricane again and our current house is leaking. On top of that our new house is leaking a lot.
Nicole:The new windows and doors that we just got installed apparently are not watertight. Parts of the walls weren't sealed properly so they're leaking too and all of the doors facing the mountain were also letting water in. And then there was a moment where my husband started freaking out saying it's gonna cost an extra blah blah blah $1,000 or whatever and I just shut down. I felt myself like wall up shut down and externally I look completely fine. I'm telling myself it's fine.
Nicole:I'm fine. Everything's fine. Everything's going to be fine. I've gotten really really good at that. You know that I'm fine external look.
Nicole:When I was a kid, being the fine one it felt necessary. It's what I learned to do in order to cope of being around emotionally unstable conditions and parents and because of that I learned how to become the calm one the one who doesn't need anything the one who always holds it together the one who makes sure everyone else is okay Here I am doing it in my 40s again and I'm realizing I'm still doing that. I can look completely calm on the outside while internally I'm in a full panic. But it's almost like it doesn't exist because I shove it way way way down. Yesterday something changed.
Nicole:A little bit of it that emotional panic fear spilled out of me in front of my husband. I was just calling to ask him something else and then I don't even know how it came up but I was just like we can't do this. You don't even look at the accounts. You don't know. It's too much.
Nicole:It's too much. I started crying and to my surprise he was very calm and grounded and started reassuring me because probably because he doesn't usually see me looking like that because I don't show that part of me very often. The truth is that I've been holding all of that in for so long that eventually I couldn't hold it in anymore and here's the thing having those feelings isn't the problem feeling panic feeling fear feeling afraid it all of those things are not the problem it's what I do with it and what I ended up doing next because when those feelings come up I don't try to make them disappear I usually try to process them on my own but I'm starting to learn that I can reach out for help too like I could lean on my husband if I needed to but more importantly I don't need to tell myself to just get over it to pretend like they're they aren't there to be the one that's fine to just bury them deep down where you know they're not a problem because they're they're still a problem they're gonna keep coming up they don't just disappear and so instead, yesterday, I allowed them.
Nicole:I allowed them to come up. I allowed the panic to come out. I talked to myself. I said panic. I see you.
Nicole:I love you. I'm here for you. I've got you. We're gonna figure this out together. You're not alone.
Nicole:Overwhelm. I see you. I feel you're not going through this alone. We're gonna take this one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. We can do one month.
Nicole:We got one month. We're gonna figure it out together. I have a plan, and if that plan doesn't work, we're gonna come up with a new one. I'm not leaving you. I'm not abandoning you.
Nicole:Not in the middle of this. And fear. I fucking love you. I love you. I love you.
Nicole:I love you. I see you. I see you. I see you. Of course you're afraid.
Nicole:Anyone in this would be afraid it's a lot a lot you've been hit with a lot but you are so fucking ready for this you are powerful you are strong you are capable you are doing it you are going to get through it, you are connected and we're going to figure this out together. Sometimes I also add in a little pep talk to myself because I fucking need it. I'll say, listen they don't fucking know who they're dealing with this is Nicole this is fucking Nicole the queen of overcoming hard shit bring it fucking on let's fucking go I know this sounds funny but sometimes doing this helps me to step into my power and remind myself of who I am like fucking come on like I've been through a hardship before this is just one more thing you think you're gonna take me down no way they don't know who they're dealing with I'm stronger than that I get through hard shit I'm the queen of it so bring it on and I got you and reminding myself of all of this remembering how I already survived through all this shit how I always figure things out how I'm going to get through this because I always get through it.
Nicole:That's how you step into your power. I'm not pretending like these feelings don't exist and I'm not beating myself up anymore for having them. I'm acknowledging that they exist, I'm supporting myself and I'm staying with myself. I'm telling myself I'm not alone here. Here's the other part that's really really important because I felt super drawn to wanting to tell somebody.
Nicole:I wanted to share with my mom and tell her how sad and hard this was but I also know that when I share with my mom or certain people I am not going to get the help and support and care that I need. I'm going to get something else entirely. It's really really important that you are aware of who is going to be there for you in the way that you need and who is not because not everyone deserves to have access to you when you're in a vulnerable state. Not everyone is the person you need when you're trying to find your way back to yourself. When you're already like a little unstable and a little unsure and you need that support like I don't go to people who are gonna make me feel worse which you know for me it might be my mom but might be someone else for you who you're used to talking to all the time but you can't go to them if shit hits the fan I don't go to people who are gonna panic with me I don't go to people who are going to commiserate with me until it feels even bigger and scarier and they're giving me all this advice that I don't fucking need.
Nicole:You know sometimes I need someone to remind me of who the fuck I am. Those are the only friends I will go to, the only people I go to when I'm in this state. If I don't have any of those, I'm going to be that for myself. I think that's really important too because when energy has gone haywire and you feel unstable, which we all get into that state, it's totally part of being a human. We all have these times, these eras in our life when shit hits the fan, where you feel unstable, you feel scared.
Nicole:During that time you don't need to take on everyone else's fears, opinions, projections or advice. You need to come home to yourself. You need to come back yourself because life is highs and lows. We live in this world of contrast right? There's joy and disappointment, abundance and lack, highs and lows and honestly we need both of them.
Nicole:We wouldn't fully appreciate joy if we didn't experience disappointment. We wouldn't appreciate peace in the same way if we didn't appreciate chaos. And so when life gets hard the question isn't whether you're allowed to feel bad because of it. If you're feeling bad that feeling exists like take care of it. You already are feeling it.
Nicole:The question is how are you supporting yourself while you're in it? How are you taking care of that feeling? Because beating yourself up when life is already hard and shitty and throwing lemons at you, it doesn't make you stronger. Telling yourself you should have known better, you should have handled this better, you're not good enough, you should do better, you should know better, you should feel better, why are you feeling like that, like get over it. All of that just makes you feel shitty, it makes you feel less special.
Nicole:It reinforces this idea that you're not worthy, you're less lovable at the exact moment when you need more love, more acknowledgement, more support, more reminders of who the fuck you are. And your worth isn't something you earn by handling everything perfectly. You're worthy because you're YOU. This is stepping back into your power. Yes, sometimes we forget and that's okay.
Nicole:Sometimes we wallow and that's okay. Sometimes we get stuck and we beat ourselves up for a little bit and that's okay too. Sometimes we abandon ourselves without even realizing we're doing it. All of this is okay but when you remember and you catch yourself in that place don't give up on yourself. Don't stay in that you know progression of beating yourself up come back to love and care give it to yourself because you deserve it come back to yourself stop abandoning her little you she needs you you need you Now to me that is the whole thing.
Nicole:That is unconditional love. I really believe that is why our souls came here. It's to experience that kind of love, that kind of support, that kind of safety. And maybe for some of us that weren't taught to have that as a natural state because we didn't get it from our parents or whatever, we didn't get it from our siblings or our friends or our partners. Maybe we think on some level we don't deserve it, but none of that's true.
Nicole:Because you were always meant to feel that and the lesson is really learning to give it to yourself. It'd be really beautiful and great if everyone around us could give us this support, this care, exactly what we need, but they can't and they weren't meant to but you can give it to yourself especially when you're scared especially when you're hurt especially if you're in panic or fear or in that not enough unworthy space. Pay attention and notice how you're responding to yourself. Do you shut down? Do you abandon yourself?
Nicole:Do you brush it off and say just get over it? Do you tell yourself I'm fine? Put on a I'm fine exterior? Do you downplay it? It's not that bad.
Nicole:I'm fine. I'm fine. When you're fucking not fine? Do you distract yourself with social media? Doom scroll?
Nicole:Sometimes I do that over Netflix. Do you go to people that, you know, feel comfortable but they just make you feel worse and then question you question yourself even more? Maybe instead you can just pause and ask yourself, what do I need right now? You know, maybe you move your body, do a little workout, go for a surf or fucking walk or something. Just get outside, move your body.
Nicole:Maybe you need to do something externally to release that energy like get in a car and drive somewhere, listen to some music. Maybe you need to stand in front of the mirror for two minutes and say see you I see you I love you I love you I'm here I'm here I see you I'm not going anywhere I fucking got you maybe you need to listen to music that makes you feel good that changes your state or podcasts that remind you of what's possible, of who the fuck you are that gets you back to your power. You know, maybe you need to write yourself a letter from your future self saying, hey. Five years and you fucking get through this. You are so powerful, so loved, so cared for, supported, so guided, so not alone, and all of this is going to create this life that's so amazing and you can't see it yet but it's coming, it's coming and it's being set up for you right now.
Nicole:All the pieces are coming into play and you get there and it all happens you have everything you want I am here for you now and always. When you do things like this for yourself in the moments when you feel freaked out or alone or scared or whatever, You know, this is the thing that you need. This is the part that you've been missing and maybe you start to notice that little girl inside that's struggling and reassure her that she's not alone. Not anymore. You're here now.
Nicole:You see her. She doesn't have to figure everything out by herself and you're not abandoning her anymore. You're coming back again and again and again. And for me, the more I do this, the more I practice it, the more I make it like a routine where I feel like shitty and then I forget about it. Sometimes I shut down and then I come back and I do one of those things, you know, and I take care of myself again and again and again.
Nicole:That's when I start to feel like, okay, I can get through this. You know, this is hard but I'm going to get through this. I know I'm not alone. That's the part that sucks is when you feel totally alone, you're like all in it by yourself and like you're abandoned but that's never the case because you're not abandoning yourself. You are deciding that no matter what happens I won't abandon myself.
Nicole:And maybe that's where the real safety is that we're all looking for. Knowing that when shit gets hard, you will be there for you. That's the work, That's the process and that's the love that you are always meant to experience. And it's never been outside of you. It was always meant for you.
Nicole:It's really about coming home to yourself. Alright guys, is my little preaching for today because that's what I've needed this past week and I've done it so many times because life feels insane and if you're going through it too I totally feel you but know that you're not alone and remind yourself constantly and take the time to acknowledge what you're feeling without trying to just shut it out and disconnect because it doesn't go away. You need that support, that care, that unconditional love that is always going to be there for you and you deserve it. You fucking deserve it. You do.
Nicole:So I hope you guys found that helpful. I will see you again next week. Please drop me a comment if you like this podcast. Give me some ideas of what else you'd like to learn from me. You can do it on Spotify or on Apple.
Nicole:Alright, see you next week. Bye for now!