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What type of rest do we yearn for on Shabbat? How do we frame our mindset during the week to prepare for Shabbat and how can we transform our Shabbat experience? Using the teachings of Rabbi Yaakov Meir Shechter, a leading Breslov Rabbi, in his sefer Yom Machmadim, we build tools towards enhancing our ability to connect to the day of rest.
Hashivenu Hashivenu השיבנו השם אליך ונשובה השיבנו השם אליך ונשובה chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem Hashivenu Hashem Hashivenu Hashivenu Hashivenu Hashivenu השיבנו השם אליך ונשובה השיבנו השם אליך ונשובה chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem Hashivenu Hashem chadesh chadesh yameinu chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh chadesh yameinu chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה Hashivenu Hashem chadesh chadesh yameinu chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh chadesh yameinu chadesh yameinu kekedem chadesh yameinu kekedem ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה ונשובה Hashivenu Hashem elecha Hashivenu Hashem Hashivenu Hashem elecha Hashivenu Hashem. Beautiful. Shkoach for the harmony everybody, good morning. We're learning in the month of Teves l'ilui nishmas Levi ben Yosef and also for the refuah sheleimah of Ahuva bas Chana and learning בתיה פייגא בת ישראל. The week was sponsored by the Beers in memory of שפרה רבקה בת אליחנן יצחק, anonymously for the refuah sheleimah of Hila bas Ilana and עליזה חנה בת נעמי, and by the Deutch's for the refuah sheleimah of הלל תפארת בת חיה אילנה. I also want to add on one more name, to learn for the refuah sheleimah of Yisrael ben Adina; it's Rabbi Schippel's son, really needs a refuah sheleimah. Okay, so even though this is a hachana l'Shabbos shiur, this is actually today, we're towards the end of the sefer, we're on the hachana l'Motzei Shabbos, if there's such a thing even like that, hachana l'Motzei Shabbos, which is pretty anti-climactic, but you'll see there's some amazing toros here. If you have the sefer, open up the daf. Shin Tzadik Hey, Reb Binyamin, Be'er Mayim Chaim, Shin Tzadik Hey. Preparing you for the MSBs? Huh? Preparing you for the MSBs. Right, it's preemptive, preemptive strikes for the MSBs, the Motzei Shabbos blues. This is a, this Torah it's very strange. This Torah maybe even more important than all the Torahs we've learned about Hachana L'Shabbos. You'll see why. ברוך אתה ה' אלקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. Amen. A beautiful, beautiful teaching. Short teaching, beautiful teaching. If you could prepare properly to avoid the inevitable Milchamos that start taking place Motzei Shabbos, it actually make, it may make Shabbos even more smoother. Like if actually if you think about it like this, this is a Hachana L'Shabbos Shiur because you're already know I'm not falling into the same Shtuyot that that gets me a lot on Motzei Shabbos. Look what he says here. Kipul HaTallis, the folding of the Tallis. Magen Avraham Siman Shin Hey הביא בשם מהרי"ל שהיה לו טלית מיוחד של שבת. He had a special Shabbos Tallis והיה כופלו בכל מוצאי שבת כדי להתעסק במצוה מיד. Like many of us have this Inyan that the Shabbos, the Tallis that you wear on Shabbos day, you don't fold it after davening. The only time you fold it after davening in a Shul if it's not your own Tallis is when you know that next day it's going to be used again by like Friday night for instance I fold the Tallis after davening because in the morning I know that Tallis is going to be used again for the Shliach Tzibur. But Ke'ikaron you're not supposed to fold your Tallis after davening on Shabbos day. Umekubal befi ha'olam and the Kabbalah is we have a Mesora that this is a Segulah for Shalom Bayis. Okay, please explain to me how folding your Tallis after Shabbos is a Segulah for Shalom Bayis. I was taught because the wifey used to buy the husband the Tallis, so if the husband has the Tallis and just crumbles it onto the couch, and then comes Motzei Shabbos she's like, "I bought this for you," and he's like, "Oh, do you want to get a new Tallis?" In other words, I thought that's a nice Ashkenazi vort, but the Sephardische chevre you've been wearing a Tallis since your Bar Mitzvah now. Yeah, and I also, thank you, we thank you, but it's easier because when you look in the Mechitza you don't know who's available. I was told if you don't fold your laundry at home you can't fold your Tallis at Shul. Deep. When your wife's busy cleaning up after Shabbos, you have a reason to be busy also. All the Chochmos, here we go. We talk about Shalom Bayis and cynicism starts to... putting the cynicism aside for a second. Yeah, I feel like there's going to be a connection to when we learned earlier in the Sefer about when you prepare the Shabbos table early enough in the day on Erev Shabbos it's a Segulah for Shalom Bayis. So maybe there's a Kesher. Maybe, he doesn't bring it, but maybe could be. Not in today's Shiur but we have two weeks of this so maybe could be. ואמרו חכמי המוסר כי רמז יש בדבר. What's the Pnimiyus here? שכשם שסידור הטלית הוא על ידי שמקפלה פעם אחת ואחר כך כופלה שנית ושלישית עד אשר תהיה מסודרת כראוי וכיוצא בזה. כך הכי נמי הרוצה לזכות לשלום בית עליו לקפל את עצמו שוב ושוב ולהכניע עצמו בלא להתעקש לעמוד על דעתו ועל ידי מידת הויתור יזכה שתשרה השלום והשלוה בביתו. Amen. That's amazing, huh? Total mic drop. What does this mean? It means what do you do with the Tallis after Shabbos, right? So it's not like, it's not like a book like you close a book and then it's finished. You do one Kipul, then another Kipul, one folding, another folding, another folding, another folding until it's right and it's neat. He says whoever really wants B'zchus Shalom Bayis, you have to fold yourself over and over and over and over again without being Mitakesh means insistent and persistent, like it has to be your way. Through the Middah of Vitur, of letting go, of letting go, there'll be Shalom and Shalva in your house. Now look at footnote Alef on the bottom of here, it's very beautiful, this I'm sure many of you have heard before. כיוצא בדבר אומרים מנהג ישראל שבסיום תפילת שמונה עשרה פוסע שלוש פסיעות וכורע לצד שמאלו. When I finish davening Shemoneh Esrei I take three steps back, I take a bow to the left side and I say Oseh Shalom Bimromav, may G-d make peace up there in the heavens. U'k'shekoreh l'yamin when he then he turns to the right he says הוא יעשה שלום עלינו. He makes peace on us. upon us. Uvekriyato kenegdo, and then when you then you bow down forward, mesayem and you end off and say, ועל כל ישראל ואמרו אמן. כי הדרך להשכין שלום בעולם, the way to bring down peace into the world, הוא רק אחרי שפוסע ממקומו ג פסיעות ומבטר משלו. He's saying, you have, everyone holds onto their makom in this world. He says, how does peace start? That I take three steps back from my domain, my daas, what I know to be right and true and the right way. I take three steps back from it and I mevater on it, vechein noda. Vechein koreia, ומכניע עצמו לכל העומדים מצדדיו, and then you bow down before all that's around you and in front of you. It's meant there's two things happening. One is the actual leaving your space, leaving your space, taking three steps back. And then the other level is that I'm also keilu machnia atzmi. I look at every side of me and I'm saying, "What do you have to say? What do you have to say?" And of course, רבונו של עולם מלכי המלכים, you know, what is it that I need to know? וכן כורע ומכניע עצמו לכל העומדים מצדדיו. וזה כלל גדול במידת השלום, שבמקום להתעקש ולהכריח אחרים לבטל דעתם אליו, עדיף טפי שהוא יכניע את עצמו ויבטל דעתו אליהם, ובכך ירבה שלום בעולם. It's better that you machnia yourself and mevater your own daas before them, and this is how shalom will come to the world sooner. Okay, so listen chevra, it's not a vort. This is like, it's not a vort. This is something we all want. We all want this very, very, very badly. We all want shalom bayis. All of us want shalom bayis. We all want to get out of, snap out of routines and rhythms that have already dictated to us before they even start that things are going to end up being the way they are. This is a Torah that we have to davven with. And I don't know if your minhag hasn't been, I mean most of the chevra I think you fold your tallis after Shabbos? Most of the chevra, you're not davka? There's an inyan, you shouldn't fold your tallis on Shabbos, Shabbos day, because what does it have to... Folding your tallis on Shabbos day, it's hachana for yom rishon, me'ein hachana for Sunday morning's davvening. That's why some people say it's a melacha, a possible melacha or m'sarteit maybe? But there's enough things to be choshesh from to say it's kedai not to. Not to mekapel the tallis. What if I only use this tallis on Shabbos? That's exactly what the beginning of this Torah was, that even if you only have a Shabbos tallis that you're not going to use until next Shabbos, altz ha-vort you shouldn't. Meaning, you understand? Maybe halachically you're not, well halachically you possibly may fall under what Yehoshua brought up still, even if it's just a Shabbos tallis. There maybe a geder of a tolada over there, it could be of a melacha. But even if not, let's say, let's take it away for a second, altz this, if he's saying like this, like if your kavanos are then you're folding on Motzei Shabbos, so it's not like this magic that's going to happen, "Oh, and then there's going to be shalom in the home because I'm folding my tallis and I remembered it's a segulah for shalom bayis." If you internalize the message that he said here while you're folding your tallis on Motzei Shabbos, that'll put things into motion. It's not this inyan of while you fold your tallis Motzei Shabbos and then it's just, no. It's that you fold it and you remember you fold it again and you say, "Ribono Shel Olam, give me koach, give me koach to fold it again and then fold it again." Because a few weeks ago the way I thought Motzei Shabbos was going to be didn't end up being like that. And interestingly enough, the week before that it didn't end up being the way that I wanted it to be. Why am I under the impression that Einstein was actually wrong? That if I actually do repeat it that 80th time, my hitnahagut of Motzei Shabbos, this time I'll get shalom because they'll all listen to me. So this is a real, a real dugma of a vort, of a beautiful rich vort which is rooted in halacha that we can invite into the way that we set up shop Motzei Shabbos. Okay, so kipla, kipla, kipla, right? Fold and fold and fold. We all know by the way in the truth of our hearts that it's never worked any other way. Right? Even when I'm right? Especially when you're right. Ben folds five. The folding, the avodah of the folding is not a pashut inyan at all, but maybe on a Tuesday morning during the week it's harder for me to do it, but if I'm taking with me the kedusha of Shabbos, I take the power of Shabbos with me, then I'll go into... into and then I go and I start folding, that could be why dafka, you know, on Motzei Shabbos this avoda of viter is better. Yeah. I just wanna add a sevara, so the sefer Mivavei Yatzitzu it talks about minhagei Shabbos and it's a Sefard sefer and it has like a little bit of the pnimius reasons why and it connect it connects in to the fact why you have to do it more immediately because there's sort of a gilluy Shechina when you have the tallis. That's the tallis is representing the Shechina, the wife gives you. So by protecting that Motzei Shabbos the chitzonim, external superficial energy shouldn't attach itself straight away like sort of making, you know, protecting it, bringing it together and packing it away so it shouldn't be taken away from you in any way. Beautiful. You know I have this, I had this cheshek to actually do that sefer next. My brother bought it for me years ago. It's a beautiful sefer Mivavei Yatzitzu. It's not like this though, but that's a beautiful, that's a beautiful concept as well. Anyway, the bottom line is Motzei Shabbos, this is a, this is a great Shabbos to start this and to start the week off right. If this is, if I'm starting the week off right with avoda of Sholom Bayis, you'll probably have a very good week. Even if you're right. Is this before Havdala even or...? After Havdala. After Havdala. I do it after Havdala. After Havdala. You ever see in Chabad shuls, on, after musaf, after Kedusha of musaf? You ever see what they do? And Chasidim bikh-lal actually. Now that I think about it. Real, like the heimishe Chasidim. Right after Kedusha of musaf, what? They put the shtreimel on immediately. They put the - a Lubavitcher is going run run and put their hats on right away. I saw the Rebbe did this when he was - did you notice that? I saw that. Yeah. Now there's inyanim here of like every second is is calculated, every second there's an avoda. So our few minutes after right after Shabbos is a very, I know maybe for some of you it's like, ugh, but I'm gonna put my tallis unfolded back into my tallis bag and walk home and then it's gonna be it's gonna look un-ironed and and not kavodik the next morning. What would you rather? A shtikl un-ironed tallis the next morning, or a Motzei Shabbos where there's menuchas hanefesh and shalva in the home, right? So this is a, a very opportune thing to do and it would be good if everyone took this on. Okay. What's the avoda of the hat after Kedusha? I don't know exactly, I'm saying but I was just noticing like after every inyan, after, like there's moments of, some people have a, have a very big inyan of going home the second after Kedusha of musaf. Very deep inyan, I don't know, you know. Sholom Bayis. Sholom Bayis. If you're in Kiryat David maybe then you'll walk home with the tallis on. Ah, right, they don't mekapel it because they know they're gonna have to mekapel themselves fifty times over those first few minutes, right, when you walk into the house. I heard at one - I learned at one point that on Shabbos you could fold your tallis but not perfectly, but you could sort of fold it backwards and then after Shabbos you can go and... For the ones that are a shtikl more, whatever word you want to use over here about these inyanim... OCD? Yes, if there's this in the room, go for it achi. As long as there's the kavana of mekapeling yourself after Shabbos... ani talischa goel. Mamash. Yeah. And what if you fold it backwards for like so long, then that becomes the new fold? Like it doesn't work, you know. Okay, now one more over here. What's that? You can be mekapel right on Shabbos too with the same kavana. He's not talking about the tallis though, right? I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, siman beracha, the next one over here. Just one more we'll do. כתב הרמ"א בהלכות הבדלה נוהגים לשפוך מכוס של יין על הארץ. From the Havdala there's an inyan to pour onto the floor. Anyone do that here? No. Sholom Bayis. I'm bikhavana bringing it up because don't worry, it's not like, oh we're doing this wrong too. No, no. We do - we pour the wine into the bowl. V'taam hashpicha d'amrinan the reason why we pour is what we say in Eiruvin כל בית שלא נשפך בו יין כמים אין בו סימן ברכה. Very very interesting statement in the Gemara. Any house that wine isn't flowing, isn't being poured like water, there's no siman beracha in there. Yeah, but Havdala bowl... so what does this, I don't know, chevre, for - we all know that none of us take the Havdala... pour it onto a bowl or a plate. But pay attention to what he's trying to point out to us. This inyan: כל בית שלא נשפך בו יין כמים אין בו סימן ברכה. So any house that doesn't have, that the wine isn't poured like water, it's not poured like nishpach, being spilled like water, אין בו סימן ברכה. ועושים כן לסימן טוב בתחילת השבוע. This is a good siman for the beginning of the week. So by many people, what's the inyan of overflowing of the cup motzai shabbos? And really everything. Kos yeshuos. Whose bris was it? Rav Shlomo's son's bris. So the mohel, I don't know which chassidus he was. He was Chabad. Really? The mohel? He had a Chabad tallis on, I was also surprised because he had payos. He had payos and he didn't do the minhagim actually that Shlomo was doing. That's why I'm asking. He had a Chabad tallis? I actually don't think he was. It would have, but it should have been. It would have been weird if he wasn't. It should have been, but how do I know? Because there was a, he took the cup of the kos shel bracha and he b'shita didn't fill it. So Rav Shlomo is telling him, no, fill it, fill it, he's like there's no inyan. Fill it, fill it. He's like okay, you know, he was like k'ilu he gave in and he let it... You were watching? Yeah. So I was noticing that. I also noticed there was a different minhag there that they don't say shehecheyanu at a bris also, which was very interesting. I never saw that before, I never noticed it before. So we know that generally the concept of overflowing is a siman bracha of shefa v'chol zeh. He says it a little bit differently here. He brings the Taz. Kasav haTaz in seif katan aleph over there in that siman in resh tzadi vav. ובעיקר הפירוש של אמרם כל בית שאין נשפך בו יין כמים אין בו סימן ברכה. What they really meant, what chazal really meant when it said that any house that water isn't spilling out like water, wine isn't spilling out like water, לא נראה לי דצוו חכמים לשפוך יין. I'm sorry, it's hard for me, the Taz is saying I can't imagine that chachamim were saying you're supposed to be spilling wine on the floor. Doesn't make any sense. דאדרבה יש איסור בזה של בל תשחית. If anything, that's forbidden because of bal tashchis. אלא נראה לי דנתכוונו לומר שלא יתרגז אדם בביתו אפילו אם יארע לו היזק דהיינו שכבר נשפך יין בשוגג על ידי שום אחד מבני הבית. What is it really alluding to? It's alluding to the same concept we said before, that there should be a siman bracha that I don't lose my, I don't let the anger get the best of me when things happen like wine being spilled all over the place or whatever, that I control myself, I contain myself. Sheshum davar lo, things don't take me to places they normally would take me. When we treat, when something of value spills, nishpach bo yayin is we should treat it like it's kamayim, like something that doesn't cost anything. Now that's beautiful. Also even not even cost, like water spills, oh, it's no big deal, it's water, it doesn't stain anything or whatever. Oh so it's as water, don't worry about it. If you have that mentality of the wine spills, oh don't worry about it. And also yayin is din, so you're it's an overflow of din but you're treating it as if it's rachamim, you're just being like it's all good. Nachon. ודרכן של בני אדם להתרגז בשביל זה. B'derech we have, listen, normally we do when things are spilling over the place, we're mitragez m'zeh. Bichlal, when something happens in our house and it doesn't happen the way that we are, that we like it, and someone else comes in and says something, whatever, it's very hard. It's very, when someone comes and he does something into your house or he says something about your house, like I remember one time I was in someone's house with a builder that was sitting there, he didn't build the house we were in but he started commenting on like all the things he saw on the walls and niches and all these things and the baal habayis, Baruch Hashem he didn't build the house either, he just bought it. So he kept on looking back at the contract and saying, I really don't care, like it's not really, I didn't do this. But I was thinking to myself when it was happening, like what a, what a chutzpah, you know. Not the baal habayis, the guy that, the builder that's come. So when this happens, when this happens, it's not you. When this happens, when someone else comes in and things don't go the way, listen, ever happened to you at your Shabbos table that you had a guest who completely controlled the whole avira of the seuda? There was no way you could get a word in. And anyway... These are very important and high levels. דרכם של בני אדם להתרגז בשביל זה. Al kein amar כל בית שאין היין שנשפך בשוגג נחשב לו כאילו היה מים. Naftali, it's what you said. Ela adaraba mistrages, if you're not able to look at moments where yayin falls down but you treat it like it was water and that's the tikun. Right, you know even if somebody spills, it's just water. So that should be the whole energy. Oh, depends on the price of the bottle. Depends on what? The price of the bottle. That's what I say, water under the bridge. Sasha, I'm kidding. I know. I want to make sure. I understand. $1500 bottle you take. You know, the guy that can afford to put out a $1500 bottle at his table shouldn't care. No, that's exactly the inyan. The inyan is that if you save the $1500 bottle to show your guest v'ze, that means you can afford another $1500 bottle. You shouldn't care, right? We can't put out a $1500 bottle, so it's for us it's a bigger test, right? Okay. Al kein amar כל בית שאין היין שנשפך בשוגג נחשב לו כאילו היה מים. Ela adaraba mistrages, but if you can't hold back and you're mitragez when the yayin isn't mayim, it stays as yayin, אז אין בו סימן ברכה. That's what he's saying. That's what that, that's the Chazal, that's what he's saying. Then in that house that you're going to mitragez on these things, sorry, אין בו סימן ברכה, and that's why dafka we start off by pouring kiviyachol wine, right, mashu meshubach yoser when you pour it into the kos, into an area that it overflows, that you're not going to grab all of it, you're not going to drink out of that because the fire goes into that. So you're already, you're already like exclaiming u'shavtem mayim b'sasson already there at the Havdala, and you're saying I'm setting the tone for the week that I will not lose it over things that have in the past have caused me to lose it. I'm davening, I'm davening, please Hashem, Motzei Shabbos, please, הנה קל ישועתי אבטח ולא אפחד. I don't want to have any fear that I'm going to fall into the same traps and הא בדידי הוה עובדא. And I'm, I'm going to be an example now, and I'm going to take that which normally should make a person on shpilkas and I'm pouring extra. You know remember the famous story of Rabbi Akiva Eiger? There's a famous story about him is that he came home one, one year from shul, Leil Pesach, and he was so, he must have given a drasha about real cheirus is when you really are completely removed from being meshubad or being enslaved to anything in this world. So he comes home and he sees this big Yom Tov Seder table set and everything is all shpitz, he's like, ah, and he pulls the tablecloth, right? He's like, ah, cheirus. Now, that's the, and you know why I love and hate that story? So I love that story because it's a wow, real cheirus. What was the Rebbetzin, what did she look like in the moment that he did that in the kitchen, right? You don't have to do those things, this is Rabbi Akiva Eiger, we're talking about gedolim, but for us, we don't have to do big things. Pour a few, a few drops of wine to for to make this inyan an inyan. That's it. דאמרינן פרק קמא דסוטה, it's brought in the first chapter in Sota, בכל בית שיש בו רוגז הוא סימן עניות חס ושלום. Any home where there's anger, that's a siman of, of poverty, God forbid. ומכלל דבריו למדנו להתחיל השבוע מתוך שמחה ונחת כי יש בזה משום סימן טוב להמשיך הברכה במעונו לכל ימות השבוע. This is the way, listen, there are Torahs where we would say this would be nice, then there are Torahs that are like, this is the way it has to be. This is the way it has to be. Has to be that the way my home, where we're setting the stage for the following week, is with this siman bracha, so I want to give us a bracha to remember this Motzei Shabbos by already, how does this, how did this all trickle down? By, by what? Musaf. By Musaf already. This starts to trickle into the mind. This sets the tone for the way that I know I'm going to take out Shabbos, and be'ezras Hashem it should be a siman bracha for the whole week of vittur, and trust me, everyone's always scared, especially when I'm right. everyone's always scared, but what if I so mevater, mevater because I keep on letting go, the principles that I think are so important will be completely forgotten. Emunah u'bitachon in Hashem, one of the principles of this concept of trust and faith is that the more that you're mevater, the emes that needs to be heard and said will reach those that need to hear it in your household much easier and better than if you're just persistent on that it comes from you. It'll get there. What's more important? That you're listened to or that the emes that you're believing in is listened to? All right, Gut Shabbos everybody, Gut Shabbos.