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Personal finance expert Tammy Barton, shares life changing money stories and looks at how money can transform every aspect of daily life.
0:00:00
Knowing what I know now through how we manage the budgets and stuff like that, I feel like there logistically would have been enough money to cover everything. Yeah. But how it was being spent and managed wasn't exactly the best. And I think I was like a lack of communication between the two, whereas one wants to spend, the other one wants to get on top of things sort of thing. Yeah. Did that impact their relationship? At times, yeah, definitely. Welcome to My Money, My Story, where we chat to some amazing people about their money story and hear just how much money can really impact your life.
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And I'm your host, Tami Barton, founder and director of My Budget. We begin today by acknowledging the Kaurna people, traditional custodians of the land on which we are recording our podcast today. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and we would like to extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Well, hi, everyone. Today I would like to welcome Crystal, our guest. Crystal is very special for a number of reasons. Firstly, Crystal is a staff member at My Budget. But prior to Crystal joining My Budget as a team member and joining the My Budget family, She was already sort of part of the family because her dad has been a client and is a client and so there's lots of different angles to interesting inspirational parts to Crystal's story.
0:01:27
So welcome, Crystal. Thank you. I appreciate it. So let's get into it. Let's start. We start wherever you feel comfortable, but maybe I think because you're a little bit younger or younger than me, so it'd be interesting to hear it from your and also because your dad's a client as well as yourself being a client and a staff member. I'd like to start maybe back when you were younger and talking about maybe some of your dad's journey, given he joined my budget before you worked for us, and how his journey reflected on you as a child, because I think quite often I talk about the fact that my budget, the impact that we have is not just on our clients, it's on their families as well, it's on their children, it's on their brothers and sisters, it's on their parents.
0:02:17
So we're having a bigger effect in the community than just our clients. Yeah, 100%. I totally agree with that. And you might be able to talk to that. So talk about, you know, wherever you feel comfortable starting. Yeah. So essentially, as you mentioned, Dad's the client. Dad started up in 2021, September. Prior to that, so growing up, we didn't really have the best financial situation. Dad essentially likes to spend money he doesn't have in a sense. So constantly getting loans and going out and buying things, getting credit cards, et cetera. And was he always like this?
0:02:49
Not really. So probably from a really young age, I reckon about six or seven when I first started to notice it. But prior to that, I think my family managed their money pretty well. Like mum and dad had a house from the age of like 21. They were doing really well to pay that off. We moved into another house when I was just one and a half, which was a huge step up for them because it was so much more that they were having to pay off as a mortgage and stuff. But yeah, so dad essentially just liked to spend a lot of money. I saw my family getting in a lot of debt.
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Growing up, I kind of didn't really know what was happening. It was always like, oh, we'd go shopping. We couldn't really get anything as far as treats or anything like that unless we had pocket money or had done something really good to be able to get a reward. And then growing up, I think I started to ask questions about the age of 10 or 11, when we started learning a lot in math about money and what you're spending, where you're getting the money from, all of that sort of thing. So finding out from my mum especially what had been happening and being like, oh, okay, this is our
financial situation, this is why we can't afford things. And then getting into, say, 13 when I started working, I then started to question things further with mum. So we went into things like when she had bills due, when there would be overdue, how she would go about getting extensions, all of that sort of stuff.
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And I found myself feeling in a sense really like scared, I think, more so because it's like, well, if we can't pay our bills, what then happens? So I kind of took it upon myself to start offering my mum money. So I'd give her like a little bit of money here and there when she'd be like, oh, this feels like or something like that. When I was 18, I started going to uni. I got given like government grants and stuff like that, kind of just thought that straight off to mum. I figure, you know, I had myself financially stable at that point, so they were better off with it than me. And my brother and I kind of started paying rent and board as a thing to sort of help mum get on top of things, which is good.
0:04:47
Dad definitely didn't really want to know about the bills, that's for sure. So it was sort of your mum's... And that's normal as well, there's normally one person in the relationship that takes care of that sort of thing. So it was your mum that looked after paying the bills? Yeah, definitely. She always had this little folder that she'd have all her bills in, she'd have a calendar with all their due dates and extension dates and all that sort of thing. But Dad really never wanted to know about it until crunch time when mum actually had to go in for surgery, she's never really done well with like anaesthetic and stuff like that. So he's like, oh, you know, if anything happens, I need to know what's happening so I can keep everything going for us. So I don't know, I felt kind of stressed about that because I knew more than he did at that point.
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And how old were you then? That would have been about 19, I reckon, when that happened, yeah. So I definitely feel like as a family, it definitely impacted us. It made us kids have to grow up quicker than we probably should have had to. And what made you start to notice when you were younger?
What were the things that made you even ask about? Was it because you were just naturally interested or was it because you saw perhaps mum and dad were stressed or mum particularly because she was... What was it that kind of triggered you to ask a little bit about paying the bills? Yeah, so mainly seeing the impact it did have on my mum because she was quite stressed about it at times.
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I'd see my mum having a bit of a breakdown over it and all that sort of thing. I think the inquisitive side of me did come out a lot as well, mainly because it's like, well, mum's really upset. We as kids couldn't really do anything with Miss Anne, like excursions and stuff like that because we couldn't afford it. And it's like, well, what's happening with our family that's not happening with others for them to be able to get something out of it that we're not? Yeah. And your mum and dad were both working or one working? Both working. Mum, when she had us kids, she had pretty much taken time off to be a full-time mum for the last 15 years. She's been in a really stable ongoing job. She actually works two jobs now as well. That had been happening for at least the last 10 years.
0:06:52
So they always had income coming in. It was just maybe the way that it was being managed potentially. Was there enough to cover the bills? I feel like, knowing what I know now through how we manage the budgets and stuff like that, I feel like there logistically would have been enough money to cover everything, but how it was being spent and managed wasn't exactly the best. And I think that was like a lack of communication between the two, whereas one wants to spend, the other one wants to get on top of things, sort of thing. Yeah. So you'd say they weren't on the same page with money. Definitely not, no.
0:07:27
And did that impact their relationship? At times, yeah, definitely. You definitely heard a lot of conversations about money and they weren't exactly always on the same page, but I feel like, long or the short of it, mum did what she had to do to get on top of it, regardless of the situation. Yeah, yeah. And so, how did that make you feel? Did it make you feel like, okay, I'm going to be the type of person who wants to be in control of my finances, or were you just like, it didn't impact you? It had a huge impact.
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Growing up, from a really early age actually, as soon as I started getting pocket money, I was like, I'm not spending this, I'm going to put it away and hide it so no one knows where it is. And I would do anything I could to get extra money. So I started working full time from the age of 13 as much as I could, had two jobs at one stage as well, and was saving for everything and anything I wanted. So it was definitely, don't be like my dad kind of thing. I didn't want to have those debts or things lingering over me to stop me from enjoying my life. Yeah, well, I guess there's always lessons learned from experiences and funnily enough when you're talking about your experience with your parents and when they they broke up I had a similar pivotal moment as well when my parents separated you know, mum got paid out some money and bought a house and that sort of thing but we went away to Melbourne for a basketball carnival and I remember my mum was just spending so much money and I was just like, I kind of know that you don't have a lot of money and this money that you're spending is all you've got to your name and you're spending it on this trip in Melbourne and I just remember thinking this is not good, this isn't good. I didn't really know enough but I just felt like we shouldn't be spending this money and then lo and behold before we knew it mum had run out of money. So and it's just it was she was doing what she thought was the right thing by spending money on us kids and you know on this trip but I felt I knew and I thought I'm gonna make sure that I've got enough money to pay for things when I get older. I don't go on the trip to Melbourne if I can't afford it. Does that make sense? Yeah.
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But those moments in life can be those pivotal turning points where you see something, you go, I could continue and I can be like that, or I can make a decision and not be like that. So yeah, it wasn't good or bad that mum did that. It was just a moment, a learning opportunity for me, I think. So anyway, back to you because the story today is all about you and your family and your experiences. So now you're 18, 19 and have you discovered that your dad's got debt or what happens next? At that age still working really hard on myself and my own savings and stuff like that. Mum had kind of hit the point where she'd been getting money from my brother and I's board, she'd sort of got back on track with things. A few years later it sort of started to decline again and we found that those spending issues had come into play again.
0:10:32
About two years ago, so I'm almost 28 now, when I was about 26 they decided to split up. At that point it kind of came to light what exactly had happened and how much debt had been accrued over the years. So definitely it was in excess of about $50,000 because they had car loans, credit cards, all of that sort of thing put into play. And yeah, when going through the separation and stuff like that, essentially, Dad got his assets and the debt and Mum got the house. So they kind of all equated to about the same amount of money. So yeah, I think for that, it was definitely a big learning curve for my Dad, my dad especially because it sort of came to the point where I was like, well, now I've got my income, my debt and my sort of things I have to pay for, what am I going to do?
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Because I didn't have that reliability of my mum to sort of work everything out. Yes, yeah, yeah. And that happens quite a bit actually when there's a relationship breakdown and one person in the
relationship has been looking after the finances and the other hasn't, when they separate, the person who hasn't been looking at after the finances is a bit of a shock because they just haven't done it before, that's all. And so I think that's probably what your dad would have been thinking, oh my God, I've got to work this out. Definitely. I definitely feel there was a point where he felt alone in a sense and didn't really know what to do with himself.
0:11:59
So he sort of came to me at one point and said, oh, I've reached out to my budget. I was like, what is that? I had no idea what the company was about. And now you're one of our money coaches. Exactly. But yeah, he explained everything to me and how the company itself had been helping him out and started to help him get his finances on track. And now, like two years later, he's working on getting a house for himself. So he's going to be eliminating all those extra costs he doesn't need. He's reduced himself to, I think, three outstanding debts now.
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Amazing. So yeah, he's doing an amazing job. I'm really proud of where he's come. Where he's got to. Yeah, that's amazing. And look, we all have our stories and our journey about how and why we took out debt and that sort of thing. And I'm sure your dad had a reason why he felt the need to put
things on for different reasons. And we all have our journeys and our stories, but it's just about, I mean, your dad is courageous for stepping up to the plate and trying to sort out his situation, and it sounds like he's doing a great job, and he's well on the path to doing that.
0:13:09
So well done to your dad for taking that step, because it's hard for people. It really is. It's hard to go, I'm going to sort this out. But the benefit of doing it is so great. I mean, it's really incredible. And so what about you? So then you're working at my budget. You didn't, well, sorry, you're working at my budget now. You didn't know about my budget. No. And then... No idea. And is it because of your dad that you applied for a role? Weirdly enough, no. So I had previously worked in call centres beforehand. At the time I applied for the role, I was actually working in a warehouse. I was just getting really sick of the hands-on work, even though I enjoy it. It was just kind of a long day, it's long hours, not really getting much out of it. So I decided I was going to go back into sort of like a contact centre role.
0:13:57
Really love talking to people a lot. So I pretty much typed in contact center, it was the first thing that popped up. Okay. And yeah, I spoke to my parents about the role and I was like, oh, apply. And as soon as I told dad, he's like, oh, I'm with my budget. I was like, what? How did I not know that that's
even actually true? Oh, so you didn't realize. No. So I only found out all the details like once I'd actually told him I was going to apply for the role here. Ah. Yeah.
0:14:22
And so was it after you told him you were going to apply for the role that you realised the situation or you already knew that he was in a bit of a situation with his finances? Definitely knew he was in a financial situation at the time. It's just I didn't know he was getting the help until I reached out and said like, this is the role I'm going for. So, you know, it's, I guess, in a sense, it was really good that he was getting that help for himself, but also kind of like surprising for me that he didn't reach out in a sense to tell me. I think that's definitely a huge thing with a lot of people is they don't like to talk about the situation or let people know they're getting help even though they are. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point and you would know now because you've worked at my budget for six months and so you have lots of interactions with our amazing clients.
0:15:08
Yes, that's great. So given that you do work at my budget, thinking about money, what do you think
about the statement about money that it's not about how much we earn, it's actually more about how we manage it? Do you agree with that statement based on some of your experiences? 100%. Even like my own personal experience before setting up my budget with the company, I actually didn't know how far my money could go. So I'd be planning out myself on a month-to-month basis rather than looking over a 12-month period and it's like, well, realistically now I have it set out to reach my goal of saving for a house by the end of next year.
0:15:48
So I had no clutcher. How amazing is that to see you, like on a screen. And just to give the listeners some context, who might not be a client of my budget, you get to see 12 months ahead. And so you get to make whatever decisions you want to make basically, but it gives you so much more information to make good decisions. You go, oh my God, I can actually get that house deposit. I just need to save this much, which means maybe I won't bother going away for the weekend to Melbourne or wherever. Do you know what I mean? It gives you that visibility to make good decisions and it just keeps you on track to your fun. Yeah, you know because you work here.
0:16:31
Definitely, like I use it, use the service. Yeah, even with situations like planning for like car services and stuff like that, I find that that's a huge thing that gets overlooked. Even by myself, I used to freak out being like, oh no, my tires have popped, what am I going to do? I don't have any money. But now it's like I've got that set aside for the times I know I'm going to need it. How good's that? That's amazing. That's a piece of mind.
0:16:52
Going back to talking about your dad and his situation, how did all of the circumstances surrounding that impact you and him and your relationship or his relationship with his children and his wife? It was quite intense. There was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions when everything happened. So during the separation itself, I found it really hard because seeing all the debt Dad had gotten into versus like what the situation was as a whole, it kind of made me reflect and be like, you know, he could have made better choices and I could have missed out on less as a child if he'd made those choices better, which would have been nice. But yeah, it's definitely impacted my relationship with Dad in, I guess, a negative way through the last couple of years.
0:17:43
But we've been working really hard as a pair to work things out and get back on track. And I think a lot of seeing what he's doing for himself now has made it easier for me to open up and rely on him a bit more. So, for example, I've had an emergency situation recently where I was stuck for money and I've actually been able to rely on him for that, which for me was a huge step in our relationship. Whereas beforehand, I couldn't have done that. It was him relying on me. So you said that, and let's just unpack that a little bit, that if he made different choices, you know, you wouldn't have probably have had to gone without on some of the little things that other families just took for granted. Do you think there was anything in his childhood that made him feel like, you know, maybe the same thing happened to him?
0:18:35
He didn't get a lot or I don't know. I'm just, I'm exploring here. Yeah, no, you're definitely going down the right road. Dad explained to us growing up that essentially he went without as a child, so he didn't want to go without as an adult. And that's maybe why psychologically he was like, well, I went without, so it doesn't matter if my kids go without. Yeah. In a way. I don't know. Or being wrapped up in the fact that he could have what he wanted in a sense and didn't really realise the ramifications for other people. But yeah, I think that's the thing though, like not everyone realises the impact they have on other people. So when making those sort of financial choices, especially for myself now, I think, how is it going to impact me, how is it going to impact my mum?
0:19:16
Because I live with mum, I pay half the rent, half the mortgage, half the bills, that sort of stuff. And for me, if I was to put myself behind, how would that then impact her? So, it's a little trickle effect. Yeah, and that's a burden for you as a child, as a daughter, no matter how old you are, to worry about your parents financially is just one thing that we think that we don't have to do. But that's not the reality, right? Because you do it, I do it, we all do it. You know, my mum, you know, she's fantastic. But as I touched on, she has never been great with money.
0:19:52
Yeah. I mean, she was one of my very first clients, unpaying client. Things they do for family. And but she loves it and she's been on track, but if she gets money in our hot little hands, it's gone and it's not spent on her. That's the thing. She gives it all away. She spends it on everyone else. And so it does make you worried. It does make you worry about your parents and it's not something that you instinctively think that you're going to do, but you just do.
0:20:24
Yeah. Yeah, and I mean, in saying that as well, people have spending problems. It's not like, you know, one here and there. A lot of people have that sort of struggle with financial responsibility. But remembering as well, it doesn't actually represent them as a person. So, although, like, yes, dad has made some poor choices, it doesn't reflect on him as a person. No. You know, so, like, I think that's always been a hard thing for me because going through it personally, you're like, oh, why did he do this?
0:20:53
Why did he do that? But same point, he's still my dad. I still love him regardless of situations and all that. So it gets really emotionally conflicting because it's like, oh, I want to strangle you. But at the same point, I still love him. And he's not alone. That's what I was trying to dig into. There's lots of reasons why we find ourselves in debt or why we have taken out credit cards. There's certainly no judgment around that. There's circumstances that lead people to making all sorts of different decisions. For my mum, she just wanted to give us everything. She just wanted to give us everything and my sisters and everyone around her.
0:21:37
So there's reasons why we make decisions that we make. When it becomes detrimental, then it's like, okay, well, it's time to do something different now. Because the way in which we manage our money has a big impact on the way our life turns out. And that certainly doesn't mean money makes you happy. You just need enough to pay your bills, really. And once you reach that, anything else is a bonus. Anything else is savings and surplus. Exactly. You can live comfortably and also spend money. Yeah, yeah. There's only so much stuff you can buy. I mean, there's a lot online, let me tell you. But we don't need it. It doesn't make us happy. We might get a bit of excitement when the parcel arrives, but that's it. So moving on to you now and back to you working at My Budget.
0:22:26
Yeah. What have you learned about your own situation, your own finances, just through being a staff member and the training that you do, and the ability to use the My Budget service and that sort of thing? How has that worked for you in your life and the impact that that's had for you? It's been amazing. Definitely learned that I can live within my means a lot more than I thought.
0:22:49
It's made me more, I guess, financially aware of what I'm spending as well, because I used to always give myself a weekly allowance, and go, oh, that's okay to spend, but not really realizing then what impact it would have on me in the future. So, for now, I've reduced my weekly living
expenses, but long-term, it's allowing me to get my house and reach my goal that I'm trying to do. Oh, amazing.
0:23:11
Oh, congratulations. Thank you. We need one of those buttons that goes, you know. The applaud button. Yeah. We need to start getting some buttons in the podcast. Definitely. So I can get a bit more excited. I don't know how old you are, but you're younger than me. 28.
0:23:26
28. So you're not a baby. No. Definitely not. But you're younger and I'm a proud ambassador. In fact, I sit on their board of Project Gen Z, which focuses on educating the next generation about financial literacy as well as entrepreneurship. And we worked with Project Gen Z to put together a school workshop called Money and Me that helps young people to do more with their money, which of course, as you know, means if you can do more with your money, you can do more with your life. And the idea behind Money and Me is helping the future generation be able to unlock more choices and allow them just to dream bigger dreams. It teaches them how to handle money confidently. So a question for you with that context in mind, thinking about the next generations coming through and you being the child of a client or someone who has had money impact their life through their parents.
0:24:28
Yeah. And someone who has had money impact their life through their parents. What advice would you give to parents on teaching money management to their children based on your own personal experience and also the stuff that you've learnt at My Budget, of course? Yeah. I definitely probably would say to teach your kids to live within their means. So making sure they're aware of what the ramifications are if they choose to go out and spend all their money at once. Yeah. Like give yourself a weekly allowance, oh but there's nothing left at the end of the week, so I think, you know, and I think just making sure kids know like how to set their goals and how to work towards them, vote towards them as well because to me I always had those little goals in mind but I didn't really have like the encouragement or knowledge to work towards them.
0:25:11
Yeah and the plan too, yeah, the plan to work towards them. So believe in yourself and set those goals. And I just think one of the important things is teaching kids what things actually cost. Yes, definitely. And having the conversation about I have to work this long to earn this much which pays for this. Yes. And when I've had that conversation with my kids, they go, oh, okay. I think I've turned them into little tight asses. Nothing wrong with that. I think that's really good though because I know a lot of educational places don't actually teach that sort of thing, but the school I went to growing up, we actually had a life skills kind of thing. So we had to pick a job out of the hat, we'd get our weekly wage, we'd have to work out what we're doing for water, electricity, all that sort of stuff, and I'd never seen it in another sort of school.
0:26:04
So for me, that kind of like planted the seed for wanting to know more. Yeah, it does. It does. I mean, I go and talk to the Year 11s most years at one of the schools here in Adelaide, and it's like light bulb moments. And they're very basic things that you learn as you get older, but as a teenager, you don't realise those things. So I think it's really important. So your family, they've had like an incredible transformation in such a short amount of time. So you should feel very proud. And again, it's taking that courageous step for your dad to get some help, just make that decision that he's going to change.
0:26:51
You've set goals for yourself. It takes courage to set those goals because you might fail, you might
not hit them, but it takes courage to set those goals. So you guys are on a great trajectory and you all should feel very proud of, because I always say every experience builds your character. So all those experiences that you had as a kid have built your character and it's built your resilience and it's set you on a path that maybe you don't know what path it is yet, but it's set you on a path that's gonna be a great path for you. So what in your life are you, when we talk about gratitude on this podcast, so what in your life, what is something that you're really grateful for?
0:27:33
Definitely my family. So growing up, really grateful for the experience and lessons that my mum's taught me. Grateful for dad because he's taught me to be a better person as well, regardless of the situation I've learned from him and my popper as well. So my pop growing up taught us that if you can't afford it, you don't need it. Sorry, that's always a thing I've kind of lived by. If I couldn't go to the shop and buy it straight then and there, it could wait. Yep, yep. Well, it's funny because the next question I was going to ask was, you know, if you had a message that you wanted to put out to the world, what would it be? So if you had a big billboard and a sign that the message was going to go in there, one of those blimps in the sky and the message, you know, is going over Glenelg Beach there, you know, right near the jetty, what would be the message you want to put out there?
0:28:21
For me, it would probably be work hard and dream big because you've got to work hard to get where you want to go and you have to dream big to know where you're going. So, Crystal, where to now? Like, where's your journey heading? What are your goals? So, my short-term goal, have a house by the end of next year, which is going to be amazing. And I'm also really wanting to travel. So, I've got set aside at the moment some money I'm saving up for a holiday to USA.
0:28:45
Amazing! Going to go over there and watch a world cheerleading championship, which is like a huge passion of mine. So, it's going to be amazing. Oh, that will be unreal. I love the States. So if you need any tips, depending on where you're going, get me up. Florida, definitely. Florida, I have not been to, so I cannot help you. But I do want to get there, so maybe I'll be getting the tips from you.
0:29:06
Maybe, willing to do that. That's amazing. On that note, I think we're just going to end it right there on a high. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Christelle, I've really enjoyed talking to you. Me too. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for joining us today. To hear more about our stories and budgeting tips, head to mybudget.com.au to check out our resources there.
0:29:24
We've got free budget plans that you can download and if you're interested in taking that next step so you can start living your life free from money worries, just give us a call and book in your free appointment. It won't cost you anything but your time.